← The Kristen Boss Podcast
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- [00:03]
A
I see with brand new eyes no, I've never been so sure Take my.
- [00:12]
B
Head let's run into the unknown this is the beginning. You are listening to the Kristen Boss podcast. I'm your host, Kristen Boss. As a best selling author and performance coach, I'm on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both business and life. Each week I bring relevant topics that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose, significance, and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so much more than growing your bottom line. It's about who you are becoming in the process and building a life that is truly extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is really just the beginning. Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. This week I have a really special guest that I think you're going to love hearing from my newest friend, Pedro. Although I feel like we've been friends longer, we had a conversation, I don't know, maybe about a month ago. And honestly, I feel like that conversation should have been recorded. But alas, here we are, we're going to do this podcast today and I feel like it's incredibly timely because as we get into the new year, this is when people set new intentions, give themselves permission to have maybe bigger goals, bigger dreams. But the number one thing I see people stumble around with is they get lost in the idea of confusion or they go on a journey for clarity, for wisdom. And Pedro is the perfect person to have on this podcast because it just so happens that, well, he is an incredible business owner. He has a lot of success behind him. I'll be asking him some questions about that. But if you're seeking clarity and wisdom for the new year, then I think you'll really enjoy this, this episode. So, Pedro, thanks for being here. I'm so glad you're here.
- [01:58]
A
Me too. We did have an amazing conversation that probably should have been recorded. But then again, if it was being recorded, you know, it probably wouldn't have gone the direction because it was a very, I remember it being a very, like, personal conversation, you know, which, which I love those, and sometimes those are the best ones that we want people to hear.
- [02:20]
B
Yes.
- [02:20]
A
You know, but knowing that we're recording sometimes changes the. Just changes the vibe a little bit and then becomes like an interview. And I really enjoyed our conversation. I mean, like, it was, it's our, you know, I've known of you, you've known of me, but like, it's our first time actually talking and I felt like we got like, like to know each other like at a deep level in like an hour. I mean, it Was hour, hour and a half. They were like boom. Like just instant connection. And I felt like I've known you forever. So yeah, this will be fun. Thanks for having me on the show.
- [02:52]
B
Yeah. So tell my audience a little bit about maybe we'll just say like your journey over the last five years. Because I feel like the last five years for many entrepreneurs could have been five decades. We've obviously been in this space for a really long time, but kind of give the 2020-2025 snapshot.
- [03:08]
A
Well man, I mean that's the highlight reel right there. I mean.
- [03:11]
B
Oh, okay.
- [03:12]
A
Well tell me that's the highlight reel. 2020 was the 2020. Was that my unveiling? I felt like I was. Is it Cinderella? Cinderella kind of, you know, like because before 2020 I was doing well. I, I was, I was, I had a million dollar a year business in the financial industry and then I felt led to start talking about my faith in business, something I call kingdom entrepreneurship. I really do felt like God tricked me into doing that. I had no plans of being online coach or guru, don't really resonate with that type of even titles. But I really just being transparent, really do feel like God through a series of events kind of led me to start talking about how my faith and how principles, timeless principles of wisdom and timeless principles for how God created the world. And whether you believe in God or not is kind of irrelevant as long as you kind of, as long as you somewhat are willing to believe that there was someone somewhere, there was intentional creation and that as long as you're willing to accept that reality works and there was somehow somewhere that all of what we've seen experience has been able to go on for all these years because there are laws, there's principles, right? As long as you're willing to accept that there are invisible and spiritual laws of gravity, of nature, of science, then you should get tons of value in this conversation. So I was just talking about how I applied spiritual principles to business in very unique ways. Ways that have not really weren't really being talked about. And then so in 2018 I kind of became this online person, ended up leading a movement of really, you know, really passionate faith forward entrepreneurs. I, I just solved the problem. I, I, I didn't know how big of an unmet need it was, but I should have known because I was, I was my target market. I had felt very frustrated in church culture, right? I felt very frustrated in church culture. I felt very unseen as an entrepreneur. I, you know, and so I ended up launching Something that really I needed to, but was a huge success. But in 2020 is when like I went from this guy doing a faith based entrepreneurship thing to becoming the challenge guy to Covid shut the world down. Everyone's home offline is dead. And there I was with my brand new challenge model. And so all of these five day challenges, three day challenges, seven day challenges, all of these challenge ads you've seen for the last five, six years, that's my fault. I'm sorry, but I created that. Thank you.
- [06:10]
B
It served me well.
- [06:11]
A
Yeah, I mean, it's. You're very happy. But like, you know, people are like, oh my God, my feed's full of challenges. Well, like, sorry, but like, I just created the modern. I created the modern day challenge. I mean, there were challenges. There were challenges being done before, but not the way that I was doing them. And so I was fortunate where I got to teach my model to Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins, people like Ryan Dice and Roland Frazier, people like Evan Pagan, people like, you know, my God, Onyx and Gaul. I mean, who else? I mean, I was behind the scenes. I helped, you know, Damon John and the Shark Tank.
- [06:49]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [06:49]
A
I mean, I could, dude, I probably helped industry giant 1520 giants.
- [06:56]
B
Yep.
- [06:56]
A
Taught them my system. Didn't ask them for a penny, they give, just gave them the gold. They went, applied it, they made tens of millions. And so they were like, dude, your stuff is the best. You've got the best thing that's hitting right now, you should make, you should launch a program, you should launch this and we'll help you do it. So in 2020, I went from a guy that no one even knew existed to. In the online marketing space, everyone's like, Pedro Adeo. Pedro. Like, who's Pedro? Like, where did you cut? How did you come out of nowhere? And. And like, I didn't come out of nowhere, but it looked like it because yes, one day, the next, people are getting emails from Jeff Walker, Russell Brunson, you know, Evan, I mean, Joe Polish. I mean, it was that. I mean, Jason Flatland. I mean, it's this who's who. Yeah, like Dean Graziosi promotes nobody. I mean, he's Dean. I mean, Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins, they don't promote.
- [07:51]
B
They promote each other. That's it.
- [07:52]
A
Yeah, that'.
- [07:52]
B
It.
- [07:52]
A
So it's like, how do you get these giants to promote you? Well, it's simple. I created something that was innovative and brand new and it actually worked. I came in, I installed it in their business. Didn't ask for a penny. They made millions. Some made tens of millions. And they were like, dude, like, let's let me help you. And, and that's not why I did it, Chris. I didn't do it for the favor. Just. I want to be very transparent. Like, I don't give to get. I don't think that's, I don't. I think that's just weird. Energetically. I think it's, it's, it's. Now, if I want something from someone, I would just be very open and direct. Hey, I mean, when I reached out to you, I was like, hey, I'm doing this big project. I'd love to have you promote it. I, I was very upfront about that. I wasn't like, trying to cloak, oh, let me just see if I can, you know, like, no, like, let me. Hey, I got this big thing. I, you know, a mutual friend of ours connected us. He thinks should be great. Let's talk. I'm looking for speakers, and I'm also looking for people that have audiences that would get benefit and value from what I'm doing. So I think that's where a lot of people go get things like messed up relationally. They have, like, hidden agendas, they got secret desires. And I'm like, no, like, either, either. Let it go and just give and serve. And to be emotionally clean, that you really don't expect anything in return or be upfront about, hey, if I do this for you, do you think you could do this for me? Nothing wrong with that either. But anyhow, since 2020, like, we just, that was our first year, we hit eight. Hit eight figures, Became a household name in the online marketing community. I mean, you know, spoke at the biggest stages, spoke at the biggest advance in our industry, consulted for the biggest names, our industry, eight figure business, like all of the. All that comes with that. And we've, we've been at eight figures every year since. So that's kind of like one of my. I'm kind of proud about that. That wasn't like a flash in the pan, like, was here for a year or two and gone. A lot of people, they have a big year too, and then they kind of just like, boom. They find a way to kind of get taken out. So it's. This is now, I think, my seventh year in this industry. Six years at over eight figures. And I'm happy to jump in and, and talk about that with you. And a lot of my success is due to principles and wisdom. I'm going to be sharing and Unpacking. Coming up in our 31 day wisdom challenge, which kicks off January 1st, but.
- [10:27]
B
Which is like tomorrow by the time episode airs, which is perfect. And it's. And it's super generous because it's a free event. We'll have the link in the show notes. It's 31 days which is, you know, most people would look at that, be like Holy Moses. 31 days. Are you crazy? What about the retention, the drop off? But also it's like I am crazy. Yeah. It's a little like an energetically being also energetically being able to carry that for 31 days. That I'm going to say that also is supernatural because I know the energy I'm in for for a three day event, let alone a 31 day event like that is. It is the Lord's work, Pedro. It is the Lord's work.
- [11:09]
A
I don't run marathons. I'm not like a marathoner. I'm not. But I'm like. But I do the equivalent by being live for 31 days in a row. You know, rain, shine, not feeling great. Not feeling great. 31 days on camera. Nothing is pre recorded. I don't allow any pre recording. I'm live, my guests are live. And there's over a hundred thousand people that are in this thing, Kristen. So this, the, the, the amount of chatter, the noise, the customer support tickets, it's just, it's the second. It's like this immense amount of work for 31 days in a row. It's me, my wife, my team. But why we do it is because one, I felt led. I literally. This was a divine idea. It was a, it was a. I call it a God download where I felt he. I just felt inspired. I felt led. You know, I mean, really transparently. I just felt like God asked me to do this in 2019. I felt like what I heard, right? What I felt I heard in my. In my, in my heart, in my mind. I felt I heard God say, son, invite my people to read proverbs with you. And proverbs changed my life because in 2000, when I was 35, now I'm 51. But when I was 35, like around 2011, 12, my life fell apart. Crashed and burned. I was. I went from having a million dollar plus net worth and being really respected, a very successful real estate investor to made a couple of bad investments, got lied to, lacked wisdom, was naive, lost, lost it all. Ended up a couple million dollars in the hole. And all my friends and the family that I was making all Kinds of money for that. Loved me when I was making the money. Now that our money was gone or we lost, and it was very reduced, now they hated me. They. They falsely accused me of being a scam artist, a liar, or this and that. And so on top of, like, losing money. Losing money ain't the worst thing in the world. Okay, like, but. But I lost money, I lost friends, I lost reputation, I lost my identity. So it was just. It was a really crushing place. And I was kind of depressed for kinda. I mean, I was not kind of pressed. I was begging God to not let me wake up. Right. For a couple years. And once I realized I was just too scared to kill myself. Like, I was too scared to do it. I just. I didn't. I was like, I'm just scared what might happen. I don't know.
- [13:38]
B
Yeah.
- [13:39]
A
I mean, what happened? You know, Even though I do, you know, I don't know what happens if you kill yourself. I'd like to think we all go to heaven, you know, not all, but, like. But still, I just didn't want to risk that I would just. And. And I just. But I really wanted God to not let me wake up. I wanted him to take me out of the pain I was in. I had a lot of life insurance at the time, and I really felt I was done. I was good for nothing. I felt like my wife deserved a better husband. I felt like my kids deserved a better father. And I honestly believed that the world would be better without me. And now you look. Now you can look back and you're like, looking at the things that I've been able to accomplish that God's done through me. I mean, we've impacted. We have literally impacted millions of lives. Like, that's not exaggeration, like, millions of lives. We've impacted the online marketing industry in a massive way. There are people like you and many others who have made millions and tens of millions through strategies and frameworks that I brought to the marketplace. And that makes me super happy to see something that I created changing your life. And you're changing lives for those that you serve. And I really thought I was done, but. But it was proverbs. It was going back to building on the rock. You can build your house on sand or you can build your house on the rock. And I built my house on sand. I built my house on. On. On. On tactics and principles that were not really, like, true principles. It was kind of more of, like. It was kind of more like hopium. You know, there was a lot of it was a lot of presumption, hopium, a lot of opium, and a lot of naivety. I, I just, I was too trusting of people because I was in a rush. So one thing I'll share about that I'll throw back to you is even though I was doing really well, I wasn't happy with the pace I was going at. Like, I wanted to crush it even bigger, even faster. And turns out that was because I wanted my dad's approval. I still had never got that attaboy from my dad. Which is so crazy how like, now I'm a grown ass man, I've got my own kids, and I risked my entire life and my family. We ended up losing our house, losing houses, foreclosures, repossessions. You know, I risked all that just at the hope of having my dad say, I'm proud of you. And so I ended up getting partnering with what I call the spirit of desperation. I was so desperate that I didn't even know for this affirmation, validation from my father and others that now I'm taking excessive risk. And the thing I want the most is affirmation and validation. Having me chase that caused me to fail. And now I get the opposite. Everyone thinks I'm a failure, a loser, an idiot, a crook, a scammer. And it's like. And so I learned such a powerful lesson that, that and you know, so many. But one of them was when you partner with a desperate spirit, like, you end up looking for a savior or a rescuer. And when you are looking to be rescued or savior, when you look for a rescuer, you're always going to find an oppressor.
- [17:04]
B
Dang.
- [17:05]
A
You're going to find someone that will be happy to take advantage of that vulnerability. And they're going to look great, sound great. This happens a lot in relationships, right, Kristen? Right. But also in business, too. I mean, this is what we talked about.
- [17:19]
B
This is what we talked about. Like, we, we said so much about, like, how do we as marketers keep people from purchasing with a savior complex? Because we see that so often, like outsourcing out. They want to outsource the work to a program, outsource the work to a person. Like, I'll buy this thing and it will finally fix me. And it's, it's purchasing from a different place. And I've been talking to my audience about that more and more. But I want to touch back on this idea. A spirit of desperation. And it's like your, your. When everything fell apart for you, especially if, like, I don't know if you had used your success as a form of like a way to see yourself in the world, but for me that was true. For me, like, the more successful I was, the more I understood myself in the world. But if that was to all go away, which you mentioned, like losing houses and foreclosures and reputation and they say, they say, you know, you people, you go to, you are what three things. One of these three things you tend to operate in. Like you are what you have, you are what you do, or you are what people say of you. And so I was like, I am what I do and I am what people say of me. So if I'm not doing, then who am I? If I'm failing, then who am I? And I very much relate to you looking for your dad because that was me. That was me 100%. Like, I think I had my revelation in 2024 when I realized I, my, my business was one giant trauma response in looking for. And I'm proud of you. Looking for like a good job. And I call you. I love that you call it like a, a spirit of desperation. I called it an insatiable addiction. Um, it was an addiction to validation and affirmation. And I was so unwell that when the, when the, my dealer or like the business wasn't businessing or things weren't going at the way I thought they would, when that drug wasn't fixing this insatiable need I had, I went and looked elsewhere in really self destructive ways that I've shared with my audience. Um, so my question to you is like now having gone through that, I've been talking about like pursuing success sober. I call it like sober success. Like how do you do this with a sober mind and not falling back into desperation? Because it's. I think some people think, oh, I'll just rid myself of the desperation and scarcity and I'll never deal with it again. But I think it's a constant checking in with your, like you're constantly coming back to, you're just noticing it sooner and being like, oh, oh, hold on. Yeah, this is not a sober mind. My, my addict is showing up right now. Or for you, it's like the spirit of desperation is showing up. How, how are you doing that sober minded now while still doing really big things in the world? How are you doing that?
- [20:23]
A
Yeah, Ned, that's so good. So I love how you, I, I don't think you're over, I don't think you're overreaching. To talk about it from using the word sober. Proverbs, this ancient book of wisdom talks a lot about being sober minded. And it doesn't mean not being drunk or high. It just means, like, actually thinking clearly. Sober minded means being, which means being free of any other influence. That influence doesn't have to be drugs. That influence could be reckless ambition. That influence could be this insatiable appetite for affirmation, either from a father, a spouse, a third grade teacher, or friends. So I love how you just kind of are using, calling it what it is. This is about being sober minded. I also love how you tie this to scarcity, because this is a. This is a symptom of a scarcity mindset. And to go even deeper at the spirit and soul level, it is actually the symptom of a poverty. And to go at the deepest level of identity, it's actually orphan. This is how, this is the behavior patterns of orphans. Okay? Now, I am not an orphan. I. I'm not an orphan. I know my. I know who my parents are. I was raised by my parents, so I wasn't. I wasn't an orphan in the natural. However, I believe this is just Pedro talking. I believe we're all spiritually born as orphans. Even though I know my parents are, I still have this. My spirit, my soul still has these orphan nature, these orphan tendencies. And now it's up to my parents, my surroundings, and even on some level, myself to then grow up and come out of agreement with this orphan identity. These orphan tendencies, Right? And so an orphan tendencies is insecurity. Always needing constant affirmation validation. Right? And now using our business, another million dollar launch, another ClickFunnels award. I have so many ClickFunnels awards.
- [22:46]
B
Like, like, they're not even hanging up, are they, Are they like, they're on.
- [22:49]
A
Like, they're like on the floor now? I. I stopped bringing them around. Like, I have qualified for, like, yeah, I stopped even submitting two years ago. But now, now, there was a point in time, though. Here's the big message. There was a point in time, 2016, right, where I got. I got qualified for my first Click Funnels to Comma Club award.
- [23:14]
B
I love that.
- [23:15]
A
And in 2016, first of all, this, you know, it was. There was a lot fewer of us back then. Now it's like, anyone could buy these almost, right? It was important for my journey because back then people saw this and they're like, hey, this guy has some real results. So I don't want to make it wrong. I don't want to shoot people and make it wrong that, hey, you. That, you know, the point is that having a, Having some. Having the marketplace acknowledge and, and, and acknowledge your results isn't wrong. We live. There's a massive recession. We need credibility.
- [23:52]
B
Yeah, that's.
- [23:53]
A
But, but if it means too much, when it means too much and it will, like, Kristen, like, let's just help people. It does mean too much to you. Like, no, no, Pedro, I'm good. No, you're not as good as you think you are. I thought I was good and I self destructed. Kristen thought she was good until she real and she was good until she wasn't. Right. And, and so, and so the benefit that I had is I crashed and burned when I was 35 years old and no one even knew who I was.
- [24:27]
B
Yeah.
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A
So I got to crash and burn and quietly with, you know, in like 30 people know I was an idiot. Right. You know, maybe 50 people knew I was an idiot and it was my little Portuguese clicky community. Right. I just, I'm so grateful that, like, I got to crash and burn and then Pedro 1.0 is dead. Right? God allowed that guy to die. And I. And literally, like, what the person you see now in the last, the last. The person all of you have got to experience since 2000, like by 1415, is Pedro 2.0. Pedro 2.0 has done some really cool stuff, but he's a different person. He has different values. He, he's. His heart is. He's dealt with his heart wounds. He's dealt with his traumas. He's dealt with his daddy issues. The irony is, I know crazy part about it is I had a dad. I still have a dad. He's at my house right now. I knew my dad loved me. He took me to soccer, tennis, music lessons. He, he, he was. But I'm a words of affirmation guy. My love language is tell me I'm awesome. And my dad's old school and that wasn't really his deal. So, like, and he honestly thought he was helping me by kind of withholding some of the verbal praise. He's like, oh, he's going to try harder. He was, you know, try to. And it. I did. I tried harder. You did, right? I just tried too hard. I tried too hard at some point. Right. But, and, and just to say this to you, Chris, I know, like, it's not true that your entire business is or was a trauma response. That is not true. That's not true. You should not believe that. That's a Lie.
- [26:18]
B
I'll receive that.
- [26:19]
A
Okay. You're like, there's. Because there's no way you would have gone that far and pay the price you paid. And, like, so. No, like, there's. There was a lot of very good redemptive stuff. There is. That was mostly you. There was a lot of good in you from you coming out of you in that. In the vehicle of business. Now, was there. Was there too much of this motivation from this? Yes, of course. Sure. Did that take you to do things that you now have made different choices? Yes, of course. But to say that your entire existence in business was just one big trauma response. I don't think it's true. And I think it's a big disservice to actually the amazing things that you did for the right reasons, because you. I believe you love and care about people as well.
- [27:15]
B
Yeah. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thanks for saying that. I was gonna say. I was gonna say, actually back to you. I was gonna say I wrote this down while you were talking, and you were saying, like, you kept praying that you wouldn't wake up. And I was gonna say, spiritually, God did answer that prayer. Oh, yeah, that Pedro 1.0.
- [27:36]
A
Oh, he died.
- [27:37]
B
He did die.
- [27:38]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [27:39]
B
So when I'm like, wow, it wasn't. That prayer was answered, just not in the way you thought. I was just like, oh, but you didn't. That version of you didn't wake up.
- [27:47]
A
No, you're right.
- [27:47]
B
I did die. And I do think. I do think there are parts of us. I think this is the most painful part of entrepreneurship, because what. What. In what other area of life do you sign up to die? Like, however, how many. I mean, like, actually, I take that back, because in my marriage, marriage, you die.
- [28:08]
A
Marriage gives you an opportunity. Not everybody does it.
- [28:10]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [28:11]
A
Not everyone does it. And I'll be honest as well. Like, I. I have not had to die to myself. I have not had to die to a prior version of myself in my marriage. That. To the extent that happened in business.
- [28:30]
B
Yeah. Same.
- [28:31]
A
It doesn't mean I shouldn't. My. If my wife was there, she'd say, yeah, please. Right. But. And. But it doesn't mean I shouldn't. It just means that the circumstances. I've been able to manage marriage, and my wife, and she's amazing, and we. I've been able to manage marriage where making improvements, making little pivots, making has. You know, we're 28 years of marriage, and we're. I would say we're mostly happy most of the time. Right. And we survived menopause. I mean.
- [29:06]
B
Yeah, we. I. Like the we.
- [29:07]
A
We survived menopause. We. I was just. I mean, I didn't get the hot flashes, but, man, so many people get divorced at this time, and. And it's. It's blamed on. It's usually blame on the guys, and the guys in their midlife crisis and they go off and buy the Corvette. And. Look, there's a lot of shallow men. I get that. But, dude, like, menopause is no joke. I mean, like, it took a lot of. We had to really work to. To really kind of stay connected through that time, because it was rough. But. But not only did you. You're right. That's very astute. That. I did. I did have a death. That death wasn't just spiritual. It wasn't actually a spiritual death at all. It's a death of my soul. It's that. It's that. It was the soul. It was my mind, my will, my emotions. Spiritually, I was already renewed. I'd already. But so my spirit was actually. It was a. It's a death of the soul.
- [30:12]
B
Yeah.
- [30:12]
A
And. And I got to attend. It's kind of a little bit of a dark conversation, this part, but God allowed me to attend my own funeral. So I was literally in my front room just praying and, like, just in so much pain, right? And I. And I'm praying, and I don't really usually get visions that often, but I literally. God allowed me to see this. This what was happening. As I'm praying, I saw this picture. And I could tell it was me. I could tell it. But I'm looking at. I'm looking at this. I'm looking at me from the back. So it's me looking at me from the back. And I've got my hands like this, and there's like, this. I'm carrying, like a. Like a body. Like a dead person. I'm carrying a dead person. I'm carrying this dead person and to, like, this altar. And I lay this dead person on this altar. And then. And then. And then, like, I turn around, I walk away, and, like, the dead person on the altar is me.
- [31:16]
B
Dang.
- [31:18]
A
So I literally. God, let me attend my own funeral.
- [31:22]
B
Wow.
- [31:23]
A
And when I tell you I broke down and cried. And not just cried, like, tears, like, you know, like. Like, I. It was a. It was a Probably. I don't exaggerate. It was at least an hour to two hours of the. Of just like a. A crying, a weeping, a travailing, like, the amount of pain that was being released. I almost had to call 91 1. I could not catch my breath because I'm just, like, crying, sobbing, and like. Like, trying to catch my breath. And that was a. That was. I. That was the day that 1.0 died. Like, and I. And the Lord, like, wanted me to see it and be. And not just see it. Here's the more powerful point. I had to be a willing participant.
- [32:17]
B
Dang.
- [32:17]
A
I had to be willing to say, like. Because God's not going to. God's not going to drag us around.
- [32:22]
B
No.
- [32:23]
A
Right. Like, we have free will. We have free will. Like, he's not gonna make. He doesn't make us do anything. That's this big. That's. That's a big misconception I think people have about. You know. So I had to be a willing participant in. In. In. In that death and rebirth. And it was a death, man. I was like, I mourned. I. I mourned. I grieved. And on some levels, like, it's been, like, kind of 10 years, and I kind of feel like we're ready for, like. I kind of feel like. I feel the.
- [32:56]
B
Oh, no.
- [32:57]
A
Yeah. I feel like there's a 3.0 that's supposed to feel. There's a 3.0 coming.
- [33:04]
B
Like, man. And knowing what's on the other side, it's just. It's so funny. I coach. This happens in a lot of areas, but I coach. I coach someone who's in a huge leadership position in government, and I coached him through his entire campaign, and he was an underdog. He wasn't supposed to win, and he was there. But when he decided to set out for his campaign, I said, be willing to die a thousand deaths in this campaign, and it will be. I was like, your need for approval will die a thousand times over in this. Your need to. To be validated by everyone and have everyone on board will also die a thousand times. And I was like, this is. This is death of the ego. This is the death of how you see yourself. And it will be over and over again. And he's like, all right. And now he's. I've been coaching him since he's in office and he's going for reelection. And he. He's like, kristen, he's like, you just keep upping the number of deaths every time we meet. He's like, the. The campaign was a thousand. Being in office has been 10,000 deaths. And he's like. And I was like, yeah. And are you willing to. To die more Okay, I see a question. Yeah.
- [34:14]
A
Does he. Does he regret it?
- [34:15]
B
Not at all.
- [34:16]
A
Yeah.
- [34:16]
B
Yeah. Every time I was like, do you regret it? He's like, no.
- [34:19]
A
Every time we go through these death and rebirths and they're not all. They're not all as significant. Okay. Some are micro, some are a little bit more micro. It could be the death of an idea.
- [34:30]
B
Yep.
- [34:30]
A
It could be the death of an old identity. Sometimes you need a full blown reset. Like, a full blown, like. No, we're going to reboot this whole thing, right? Yeah, I don't think I need that one. But I might. But I don't think I do. I think I just. And I already kind of have. I'm a kind of. This one's been a lot more gradual. It hasn't been like, as. Which is great because that, that would be difficult. But if someone's listening to saying, pedro, why would I want to do this? Like, why would I. Let me tell you why. Because you come out of this free. Yeah, you come out free. You come out liberated. You come out, like, wiser. You come out with more wisdom and more. And really freer. Because what we realize is like, we oftentimes we just build a prison. Like we're building a prison in our. Of our stories, of our beliefs. And so, I mean, obviously, like so much of the writings of Paul talk about. Paul really talked a lot about this concept. And it's a lot of. It's in Romans a lot. It's being dead to self. Like, consider yourselves dead, consider yourselves dead. Dead to sin, dead to the flesh, alive to God. And so there's so many advantages of actually, like, there's advantages to living as if the flesh was dead. Like, we're like. Because then you're free. And, and, and it's like, it's, it's. If you're already dead, what's the problem? Who can harm you?
- [36:11]
B
Exactly.
- [36:11]
A
Think about it, right? And just to kind of finish this very kind of existential, very deep conversation, I'm gonna. I'm gonna drop a bomb. I'm gonna drop a bomb from your audience.
- [36:23]
B
Oh, I love it. They love that stuff.
- [36:26]
A
I lost a dear friend who was my age last year, and it really kind of rocked me to my core because I've lost grandparents and, you know, but like, I just lost my last grandparent last summer. This, this year, this summer she turned 100. She was 100. And so I have no more grandparents left. But this. I lost a dear friend who was my age. And that kind of plays with your Mind a lot. And in my grieving process, I felt I got led to a verse and I can look it up, but I believe it's in Hebrews 12. And here's the gist of the verse. I should read it. But the verse basically helps us understand. It says that all of us have been held in bondage and captive to the enemy of our soul, Satan. That. It basically says that Satan, the enemy, whatever you want to call this, this evil entity is able to hold all of us, the sons of God, daughters of God, in bondage because of the fear of death.
- [37:42]
B
Dang.
- [37:44]
A
So here's what I saw. How, how much do we talk in our space of coaching motivation about overcoming your fear? How. I mean, how much. How much of people's problems is just too afraid?
- [37:58]
B
99.
- [37:59]
A
Okay, well, there. There it is. Here's how you. Here's how you actually overcome fear. You overcome the fear of death. All other fears are connected to that tap root. If you are not afraid to die, the enemy has nothing on you. He has nothing to connect to. That is the tap root. The fear of death is the taproot that feeds all the other lesser, lower level fears. So I have this whole idea I came up. I'm like, well, just get ready to die. Just. What's your list like? Yeah, stop. Like, don't be afraid to die. Most of us afraid to die. Why? Oh, I don't have a will. I don't have a trust. Oh, I, I don't have life insurance. Oh, I need to. I, I need to. I need to write a memoir. Oh, I haven't. Like, I want to go see the Eiffel Tower. Dude, do your bucket list now. Why would you wait till you're old and decrepit? Do the list now. And now you're free. Yeah, you're not actually truly free to live unless you're ready to die.
- [39:02]
B
That's so true.
- [39:03]
A
You're not. And that's why we. And, and there's something about kind of circling back to these entrepreneurs. Like, that's why there's these iconic entrepreneurs that are just. To us, they seem like they're insane risk takers. I believe if you ask them, they have already paid this price. They're all, they're, they're. They're ready to die. They're. They don't want to die, but they're ready to die. They're. They're ready to die in a rocket ship. They're ready to die. I mean, nowadays, nowadays with this whole, you know, situation, it's, you Know it's even real. It's. It's real obvious how d. How dangerous it could be to be a public figure, right? But. But when people. The people that are the ones who change the world have already reconciled this, they're like, I'm gonna go run my race. I'm gonna do my thing. You know, they keep short accounts. They're all in because they're not hedging. They're not hedging y. They're not hedging bets. And the ultimate hedge of bet is my life. So if you. If you can do whatever you need to do to make that list, you're like, I don't want to die, but I'm ready. I got, like, the things that matter to me. I have checked the box. The people I. The people that I know, the people that I want to know, I love, they know they're loved. The places I want to go see, I have seen them. The book, maybe there's some financial things, relational things. Whatever it is, dude, do it. Get it done. Like, that'd be a great way to start the year. Like, checking off your list. And then you're free. You're free to run. Like, you're just unhindered.
- [40:43]
B
I think when you say unhindered, that's so true, because I would say, like, I lived in so much fear of loss that it was actually losing that helped me stop being afraid of loss. And I'm like, I've already. I've already lost. What else? Like, and I. And I'm here, I'm alive, I'm breathing. So what is there left to be afraid of? I actually. And it turns out, what is it? The. The fear of the thing is often greater than the thing itself. And it's so. It's like I feared loss, and then I. And I faced loss, and I'm like, turns out loss didn't kill me. So what is. Now I am unhindered because in my. In my mind, I'm like, I've already lived and faced, worst case scenario, the thing I was most afraid of. And it was truly, like, it was any type of loss. Not making buckets of money. And this year has not been that. And I think it's the greatest. I call. I called it, like, the great rescue mission on my identity. My big fallout was like, the. The great rescue mission on. On who I am. And I have you. Do you know Joe Johnson? Have you met him? He's over life Surge. Yeah. Joe and I were talking, and I was telling, like, he was Telling me about all of his struggle before life Sur. How he was, like, in debt and, like, down to his last dollars. And I was like, joe, Joe, like, like, I did this thing. I burned it down. I feel crazy. What have I done? He's like, kristen, everyone who does something meaningful, this burned down, this lost in the wilderness. He's like, it's. It's a necessary training ground for those who wish to do great things. He's like, this is the training ground you have to. Have to be in. Everyone I know that has done great things has had tragic losses, and they've had their season of wilderness. I was like, well, great. I'm in the hall of heroes then.
- [42:27]
A
Yeah. Yeah. So a couple things I want to touch on. First of all, whatever you fear, whatever you fear losing.
- [42:38]
B
Yep.
- [42:40]
A
You're gonna lose. Whatever you fear losing, you're going to lose it. Happy New Year, everybody. Like, so, like, oh, Pedro, what do you mean? Please fix this for me. So what do I do? You stop being afraid to lose it. This is. I've seen this happen in my life. I've seen this happen in people I coach. And now it's just now I cannot unsee it. The thing that you are, the thing that you are afraid of losing. And here's why. You're like, Pedro, but I'm a Christian. I believe in God. I believe in the universe. How can. How can a good God. How could a good. How could this all loving universe take things from me? Here's how God is. God loves me so much that he has no problem allowing me and allowing life and allowing just, just, just cause and effect to take away houses, take away cars, take away business. Because I matter more to God than my business. Oh, Pedro, I know my business is going to flourish because God cares about my business. He cares about your business, but he cares about you more. And if your business has become an idol, then guess what?
- [44:13]
B
Bye. Bye, bye.
- [44:16]
A
Because he loves you. He loves you. Not because he's a jerk, but he just allows. Like, this is where the Bible talks about God being a jealous God. He's not jealous because he's insecure. He's jealous because he loves us so much. And anything we try and put in his place is going to destroy us. So he just allows the principles and the inevitability of how life and reality work. Eventually those things all come tumbling down. And then we get to learn, oh, I put my hope, my trust in the wrong thing. Better to learn that now on this side of heaven than. Than. And after. So the Fact is, don't. If you're like, just whatever you love so much you're afraid to lose it, just get with God and say, God, I, I love my house, I love my car, I love my life, I love my wife, I love my kids. Like, and just be like, and yet, like, all this belongs to you. All this belongs to God and it is ours. So, like, on some level, like, if you're trying to death grip things, dude, you're cooked. Like, and I. And then when, and then you're playing defense and when you're playing defense and you're trying not to lose, you're going to make dumb decisions, bad mistakes, and you will cause the very loss that you are trying to avoid. I've seen it a hundred, if not a thousand times. So do break up with the fear of loss. It is, it's not going to serve you. I've never seen it serve. I've never seen it serve anybody.
- [45:52]
B
Well, think, think about this, even through the lens of where I was talking about addiction, it's just like an idol is. What does an idol demand? Sacrifice. What do addictions demand? Sacrifice. Like, and so really, it's just like to, to freeing us from addiction. You are, when you, when you have an addiction, when there is an idol, you are in bondage to that thing. And a life of bondage is not a life of freedom. It is, it is living your life with a, with a white knuckled grip on things. If you've ever like, held on to something so tight and then when you try to open your hand, it hurts so bad. It's just like, but you're right, God loves us so much that he doesn't want us to live in that white knuckled, Just that brutal addiction cycle of like, of needing because it never, it never truly quenches our thirst. I can say this like, there was never. No. I just couldn't believe that a million dollar launch couldn't fix what was going on inside. A $2 million launch couldn't do it. A $3 million launch couldn't do it. A book deal couldn't do it. Nothing could fix it. So liberating yourself from the very thing that you put your whole life on is. Is the hardest and greatest work. Because once, once you are liberated from that, you really do become free. You really can do these great risks. As you're like, I'm not afraid anymore what I'm gonna lose. Oh, well, like, for me, I'm like, if people are listening to this podcast and be like, I hate Kristen boss. Because now she's a little too much in her faith. I'll be like, you know what? I've already lost. Unsubscribe. I've lost.
- [47:23]
A
Right? Yeah. No, the funny part about the. The. A lot of times. So the thing that, like, one of my biggest reasons I've been so successful is because I already crashed and burned before. So it's like, I already lost my reputation. I already didn't have a credit score. I already had. I already was accused of stuff I never did. Like, I already went through all this stuff. So now over here, it's like, I'm not afraid to fail because, like, I. I already failed at a very. I failed big time. Right. I failed. Like, I had. I had, like, all of the. I had all of the negative consequences of failure. So it's like, I'm free. Like, it's like, what, am I afraid to go bankrupt? I already went bankrupt. Here I am. I've had my best career since. What am I afraid to have? People talk crap about me. That's already happened by my closest friends. So now I come online. I'm running ads. People are like, this guy's the devil. He's a grifter. He. He's a false prophet. He's part of nard.
- [48:35]
B
You're like, get in line. I've already.
- [48:36]
A
I'm like. And I'm like. I'm like, I'm sad for them. Yeah. Because I'm like, dude, what's wrong with you? Like, why are you so miserable that you don't even know. You don't know me from Adam. You don't know me from Adam. And you're just, like, so convinced, like, I'm this person. Like, you don't know me. You're not. You haven't sat through any of my training. You're judging my heart, which is 100 not allowed. If you are a follower of Jesus, we are told we are. Only God gets to judge the heart. We can judge the fruit.
- [49:10]
B
Yep.
- [49:10]
A
But the fruit of my life ever since the wreckage is amazing, actually.
- [49:15]
B
Yeah.
- [49:16]
A
And I'm still learning and growing. I still make mistakes. Don't you know, I'm not trying to, like. But it's really good. Like, there's, you know, we've helped a lot of people and. And. And. And I'm still married, and I still have my closest friends and, like, you know, the p. And the biggest success is my kids all still want to be with me. My kids all still love my wife and I. My kids all work for the Company. They want to be part of the things that we do. The people that know me the most love and respect me.
- [49:48]
B
That's it.
- [49:49]
A
The reason why all these other fake ass gurus come crashing down is because the people that know them the most know they're a freaking monster. Like, they're a terrible person. And then they put on this Persona and they want to be like. They want to act like their mother Teresa when reality, they're just a horrible person. Well, dude, like, and that's being exposed.
- [50:11]
B
Yeah.
- [50:11]
A
Thanks to the Internet, everyone's got phones now. It's like, look at all these exposures. I mean, and. And no one is politicians, you know, whether it's. Whether it's an Epstein list, whether it's pastors getting exposed.
- [50:25]
B
Yep.
- [50:26]
A
Whether it's these, you know, gurus, you know, like, who have no money, who have, you know, like, who are lying, faking, renting Lambos and air. Like, it's all being exposed. And I'm on some level, it's like, good, man. Like. Like, it doesn't serve people when people try to just to kind of pretend. And so it was a great gift that I. That I. I had that crash and burn before. And. And now the risk, Kristen, is how do I stay in a place of, like, how do I stay that carefree? How do I stay that free? Because now it's like, well, now I am at eight figures. Now I do have a name again. Now I do have all these accolades. Now I do have a reputation. Now I do have an amazing credit score. Now I do. Now I have all these things to lose. So am I going to, like, all of a sudden go back to defense and protect, or am I going to be like. Am I going to just be like, no, Lord, this is a blessing. Thank you for the house, the cars. Thank you for my amazing life. And yet you matter more to me than all of this. You are the giver of the gift. We value the gift more than the giver of the gift. That's just dumb. That's not wisdom.
- [51:42]
B
Yeah.
- [51:43]
A
Like, what's more valuable? The diamond ring. I know so many women. That's my wife's story. My wife's whole identity was in her diamond. Like, in her diamond. Like, she has an amazing story about how she would, like, go to, like, the grocery store and, like, make sure that. How she kind of put her finger and then people be like, oh, I love your diamond. Like, her entire self esteem was being kept alive by compliments on her ring.
- [52:12]
B
Interesting.
- [52:13]
A
So guess what happened one day at Church.
- [52:14]
B
It got lost. What?
- [52:17]
A
That would have been easy. Worse, one day at church, God said, take off your ring and put it on the altar.
- [52:25]
B
Oh, oh.
- [52:28]
A
This is, I'm telling my wife's story, but this is. This. And this is. I know, I'm not sure if maybe you have a lot of ladies watching this in the podcast that know that it's. If you have a really nice diamond, nice engagement ring. That is such a, that is a potential, that's a potential place to misplace identity, right? For some people. Not for everybody. For some people, whatever. But it was for my wife, you know, and the fact is, you know, like, that was the thing about her that she felt was the highlight, right? She, she was raising kids, so she's been staying home, right. Doesn't have a big career, you know, popped out three babies real fast. So it's not like she's got like the best body she's ever had. So now she's like, well, I'm not in the best shape I've ever been in. I'm don't really have an amazing career. You know, I'm. I'm a stay home mom right now. So. The best thing about me is my wife has amazing hair. Like, just crazy like curly, curly hair, which, in the menopause, now that's like, right? Losing hair in the menopause. Like, oh my God. She had to kind of revisit that whole thing. And it was her diamond ring. And then one day it, it was obviously an idol and God's like put on the altar and she, she tells a story. She's like, something pushed me, like I did not want to get up. She's like, I literally felt a push from the back and, and I, to, to the point. She looked back to see who pushed her and there was nobody there. And I was playing bass on the worship team. I was playing bass. I'm watching all this. She walks to the altar, she takes the ring off, puts in the pastor's hand, she's weeping. They're talking, they're looking at me. I'm like, what is going on? And then after she came over, she's like, hey, please don't be mad at me, but I just gave away my guys. That was a thirty some odd thousand dollar diamond.
- [54:17]
B
Sheesh.
- [54:18]
A
Like this wasn't like some two thousand dollar Zales, like mole time. Nothing wrong with that.
- [54:25]
B
That's my diamond.
- [54:26]
A
That's not what this was. Okay, Just saying like not to. Just not just not to, but just, just to give context.
- [54:33]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [54:35]
A
And I said, well, she's like, I felt like God told me to do it. I'm like, well, sounds like God to me. You know, and then what happened is she just starts grieving it, then she's second guessing herself, then she goes to this phase of anger, man. It was a whole like five step grieving process. Grieving process, Some of this. And I'm like, wow. And then. But it wasn't long after that we went through our crash and burn and she probably would have lost it in the bankruptcy.
- [55:08]
B
Wow.
- [55:09]
A
So God gave her the gift of her releasing it on her terms. So she got free of it.
- [55:18]
B
Yeah.
- [55:18]
A
We went through our time, we went through our crash and burn and then ultimately came out of it. And now I've replaced it with something that's a $60,000.
- [55:29]
B
Now that you're liberated. Here's a bigger one.
- [55:31]
A
But it is, it's nicer and she deserves it. But my wife will tell you, she's like, I love my ring, but it's just a ring. Because I love my ring, but it's just a ring. It doesn't, it does not have that nasty. It doesn't have that. It doesn't have that nasty. It doesn't have her. Right. And that's why we got to be careful of our possessions. Right? Our possessions, if we're not careful, will. Our possessions can end up possessing us.
- [56:01]
B
It's so true. That's why. Oh, gosh. Arthur. Arthur Brooks in Strength to Strength. I recommend that book to you. At the end of the book, it says, you know, don't love things, love people. You love people, use things, love God, love people, use things, have things, don't love things. The moment we love things, we, we lose things.
- [56:22]
A
That's the best business advice right there. Your business. I use my business to love people at scale.
- [56:36]
B
Everyone write that down. Mic drop moment. That's so beautiful.
- [56:40]
A
That's what I do. That's what I do. And if you're, and if you're, and if you're a believer, a Christian, if you have some kind of faith background, that's the only thing you should get to do in business. Because to not love people, well, through your business, to not put them first means that you've put yourself first. And now you're not part of the kingdom of God. You are now under the spirit of mammon, and now you're using people to get money. You're actually abusing people for money. And that's not, that's not biblical. That's not the kingdom that's what's called unrighteous wealth creation. And I would say that's 99 of most enterprises.
- [57:23]
B
Oh, 100. Yep.
- [57:25]
A
Right. I mean this is, this is why, I mean big pharma, the food industry, the school system. Look, our government, I mean like how, like, Yep. Look how hard it is to find out the truth about what's even in our food. Look how hard it is to get like something that's not full of chemicals, that's fake. Look how hard it is to actually, I mean go try and buy a financial product and be told the truth about all the facts, the fees, the figures. Oh, it's, no, here's this 300 page, here's a 300 page prospectus that they know you're not going to read or understand. Then they make you sign a paper saying, oh, sign here that you read. Understood it. And then you find out the person lied, basically lied to you. Didn't you know, they, they left out very important details. And then you get mad and maybe even want to sue and it's like, well, is it Kristen, is this not your signature here? Like, did you not sign on this document? Been there that you read and understood?
- [58:32]
B
Yeah, there's so much of that and that's, you're done.
- [58:34]
A
Like it's game over. So basically, and I'm in the financial industry and I'm the biggest, I'm loved, I'm just a, I, I'm a whistleblower. I'm like, guys, like our industry, we don't, we don't do this obviously we don't do this. But the whole, it's normal like our industry, in the financial industry and same thing as in, I mean it's happening coaching information business. It's like, it's, it's, it's easy to do and it's, it's legal. It's legal now there, you know, some things are not legal, right? But in the financial world, you can bury, you can bury fees in a 300 page document. It's totally, oh, oh, it's super legal.
- [59:11]
B
I, I, I could cry when I tell you some of the most painful lessons was somebody who willfully deceived us financially and through. Fine. Anyways, not gonna hold that over them. We're just like, whatever, you know what, that's God's money anyway. So you have to answer for God. That's fine. But we could keep talking and talking, but here's the thing. We've talked about dying, we've talked about new, being a new person. Just if you like putting Things, putting things on the altar. Like if you, you know, if you are possessive about your possessions, they end up owning you. Getting caught in that. The orphan spirit, spirit of desperation. I think this is all so huge. So for my listeners that are listening that are looking at the new year, I think it's a really good question to ask. Like what can I no longer, what should I no longer take with me into the new year? What like weed that garden out. And I think the best way to do this is come to the 31 day challenge that Pedro's hosting. I have the link in the show. Not it's free. You do not have to be a person of faith to gain the wisdom from this challenge. Like Pedro was telling me, it's like it's timeless wisdom. There's, there's, there's natural laws, there's cause and effect that we see in business that we see. There are u universal laws that are timeless. And whether you believe in God or not, you might end up after the 31 days. But if you understand cause and effect natural laws, then you, then you do also have a space for wisdom and for clarity. And what better time to do that? At the beginning of January. Is there anything else you want to add, Pedro?
- [60:42]
A
Yeah, I mean this. So we're going to study a book called the book of Proverbs. It's written by King Solomon. King Solomon was the wealthiest and wisest person to ever have lived. He would have been a multi, multi trillionaire in today's terms. When he ruled over his country, it was, there was, there was no war, there was only peace. Everybody was rich. It's during the time of his rule everybody was so rich that silver, which has now just set an all time record high, silver today has doubled in value this current year. There are people like trying to buy millions and millions and billions of dollars of silver in the time of Solomon. Think about this. Everybody was so wealthy that silver on the street was walked by. No one even cared to pick up silver because that's how much gold they had.
- [61:35]
B
That's crazy.
- [61:36]
A
And today you've got investors, hedge funds, private equity groups, governments pushing in a silver like it's going out of style because you know, and, and in the dime of Solomon he ruled so wisely. He had such brilliant economic policy. He managed the economy so well. People were so rich, they're like, oh silver, I'm good. It's not even, it's not even worth picking up and bending over for. So come learn these timeless principles. The word proverb is it you Know is it comes from a. A Hebrew term that is mashall. And, and one of the. One of the meanings of the word mashall is to rule and to reign as a king or a queen. So these are. This is literally a how to manual. How to rule and reign in your life, in your career as a king, as a boss, is what you would say, right? Like, and to do it and do it in an honorable way, in a godly way, in a way that honors God and bless his people, not abuses people. That's why Solomon was so wise, because God appeared to him in a dream and said, what do you want? He couldn't ask for wealth. He could have asked for a long life. He could have asked God to kill his enemies. God gave him a genie in the bottle, one wish kind of moment. And Solomon was about 20 years old. He was the king of a nation. Imagine being the president of the United States at 20.
- [63:05]
B
Crazy.
- [63:06]
A
And he said, God, give me wisdom so I can understand and rule over your people well. Give me the wisdom to serve your people well, that I would govern well, that I would. That I. That. That I would do good in my job to. So that they would have a great life. And God said, because you asked for wisdom, to be a great kingdom, leader and servant to the people, I'm going to give you wealth, success, fame, fortune, and a long life. And you'll have no enemies. And that's the book you're going to be learning from. And you're going to learn from 31amazing people like Kristen, myself, et Lisa Nichols, and a bunch of other people that you probably.
- [63:47]
B
Some, you know, Sean Cannell's gonna be on there. I think some of my other friends I saw, I was like, oh, my buddies are there.
- [63:53]
A
Yeah. Yeah. So that's it. 31. The link is in the show notes. Grab the link. It's absolutely free.
- [64:00]
B
Yes.
- [64:00]
A
It's, like, really free. That's not like, oh, pretend it's really free. Love it. You can attend for free. And then. And then if you want, we do. We. We do have a journal. We produced a really cool journal. If you want to upgrade to our Wisdom plus experience. You get like, an actual physical journal shipped to your house. Write all your notes. You get some, like, backstage time on zoom to do some Q A. But. But it's absolutely free. So awesome. The link in the show notes, you hold.
- [64:27]
B
You heard it, friends. Be sure to register. And Pedro, thanks again for being on today. This was just such a rich and fun conversation.
- [64:33]
A
Loved it.
- [64:34]
B
All right, everyone, we'll catch you in the next episode. Have a Happy New Year. That's a wrap for today's episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review. This helps the show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot of today's episode and shout us out on Instagram. We'll shout you right back out. If you'd like to find additional resources or discover how to work with me, head to www.kristenboss.com.
- [65:22]
A
It starts right.