Bad Bunny's Colbert Questionert | Hate And Switch

Summary

"Bad Bunny's Colbert Questionert | Hate And Switch"

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Release Date: January 29, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show intertwines Stephen Colbert's signature satirical monologue on recent U.S. political events with a playful and revealing interview with international music superstar Bad Bunny. The main highlights include Colbert dissecting the chaos in Minnesota following controversial federal actions, and the show’s famed "Colbert Questionert," which gives fans a personal, humorous glimpse into Bad Bunny’s life and personality.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Political Satire: Minnesota, Immigration, and Federal Controversy

(Starting ~01:44)

• Stephen Colbert opens by addressing the political turbulence in Minnesota, which he describes as “hell” in light of turmoil created by Trump’s federal immigration agents.
• Colbert sharply lampoons Trump’s leadership changes, suggesting it’s more “rearranging the douchebags on the Titanic” than true reform (02:46).
• He notes public backlash against ICE, even in light-hearted corners of the internet (like a subreddit for patting cats), emphasizing widespread anti-ICE sentiment:
  • “If you support the fascists, your hands have no place tapping sweet samba rhythms on your cat’s bongo butt.” (04:26)
• The monologue mocks Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s attempt to deflect blame for labeling a murder victim as a domestic terrorist, drawing a biting parallel:
  • “Oh, so you were just following orders?... I misread that. It's a nuremberger.” (05:33)
• Colbert highlights a nonsensical Trump analogy about firing people while “Eye of the Tiger” blares at a farm rally.
• News segment on Minn. Congresswoman Ilhan Omar being attacked during a town hall, showing admiration for her composure and willingness to “throw some hands” if needed.

2. News Parody: Consumer Confidence & D.C.'s “Poop Geyser”

(~09:20)

• Using absurdist humor, Colbert addresses plummeting consumer confidence by spoofing the meaningless of economic indices:
  • “I’m talking about 84.5, 65.1, and 113.7. Do you know what that means? Because I don’t. And that’s scary.” (10:35)
• A ridiculous yet true report about a sewage geyser in Washington D.C. becomes comedic fodder, featuring Colbert’s over-the-top persona “The Riverkeeper”—“For I may keep the river, but who keeps me?” (11:40)

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The Colbert Questionert: Bad Bunny Unplugged

Introduction & Icebreakers

(14:05 - 15:10)

• Colbert introduces Bad Bunny as “Bonito” and thanks him for returning, reflecting warmly on past conversations about Puerto Rico and language.
• He invites Bad Bunny to the “Colbert Questionert,” a playful segment designed to “fully know you,” to which Bad Bunny responds:
  • “No, but let’s do it.” (15:10)

The Questions & Answers

1. Best Sandwich?

• Bad Bunny: “Tripleta.”
• Colbert: “What’s in there?”
• Bad Bunny: “Everything that you want.” (15:28)

2. First Concert Attended?

• Bad Bunny reminisces about a free Puerto Rican town festival with many artists—his first exposure to live music.
• He admits he hasn’t played this festival, but pledges to: “Someday I will.” (16:11)

3. Scariest Animal?

• Bad Bunny: “Acho. A cucaracha… Cockroach.” (16:23)

4. Apples or Oranges?

• Bad Bunny: “Oranges.”
• Colbert: “It’s acceptable.” (16:42)

5. Have you ever asked for someone’s autograph?

• Bad Bunny: “I don’t think so. No… I have a couple autographs, but… it’s more like a gift.” (16:49-17:08)

6. What happens when we die?

• Bad Bunny: “Well, I don’t know. They bury us. I don’t know.” (17:11)

7. Favorite Action Movie?

• Bad Bunny: “Scarface.”
• Both quote: “Say hello to my little friend.” (17:35)

8. Window or Aisle? And Why?

• Bad Bunny: “Aisle, I guess. I don’t like to look to the window.”
• Colbert jokes about airline sponsorships, prompting Bad Bunny to reverse slightly for comedic effect: “No, I like to fly.” (18:09-18:34)

9. Favorite Smell?

• Bad Bunny: “This Christmas cinnamon smell… cinnamon, Christmas tree.” (18:41-18:59)

10. Least Favorite Smell?

• Bad Bunny expresses disgust with a dismissive sound—no translation needed. (19:08)

11. Earliest Memory?

• First Christmas he remembers, but more notably, “I remember I used to watch a picture of a girl… she was my crush. I used to cry for that. I was, like, four years old.” (20:45-21:08)

12. Cats or Dogs?

• Bad Bunny: “Dogs.”
• Whether or not he currently has a dog is humorously ambiguous. (21:31-21:39)

13. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life?

• Bad Bunny struggles, finally settling on: “Marejada Feliz… happy waves.” (22:46-23:05)

14. What number am I thinking of?

• Bad Bunny: “Nine.”
• Colbert: “No.” (23:18)

15. Describe the rest of your life in five words.

• Bad Bunny: “Happy. Good morning. Retired. Eating tripletas and living in Puerto Rico.” (23:35-24:02)

Colbert: “Congratulations. You are known.” (24:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Stephen Colbert, on ICE Supporters:
  “If you support the fascists, your hands have no place tapping sweet samba rhythms on your cat’s bongo butt.” (04:26)
• Stephen Colbert, on White House blame game:
  “This is a real snake eating its own tail, which I believe is how Stephen Miller reproduces.” (06:42)
• Bad Bunny, on immortality:
  “Well, I don’t know. They bury us. I don’t know.” (17:16)
• Bad Bunny, on first crush memory:
  “I remember I used to watch a picture of a girl… she was my crush. I used to cry for that. I was, like, four years old.” (20:45)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Monologue: U.S. Politics & Satire: 01:44 – 12:54
• Cat Bongo Revolution Subreddit Bit: 04:20 – 05:10
• Ilhan Omar Incident Discussion: 07:35 – 08:22
• Consumer Confidence Jokes: 10:00 – 10:59
• Interview – Colbert Questionnaire Begins: 14:05
• Best Sandwich to Scariest Animal: 15:17 – 16:26
• Earliest Memory / Childhood Crush: 20:12 – 21:12
• One Song for Life & Final Questions: 22:00 – 24:02
• Conclusion of the Questionnaire: 24:02

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Tone and Takeaway

The episode expertly blends Colbert’s sharp, absurdist wit with a relaxed and endearing conversation with Bad Bunny. The lightheartedness of the Colbert Questionert contrasts with the biting satire of the opening monologue, making for a well-rounded listening experience. Through humor and honesty, listeners are offered both insightful commentary on current events and a rare, intimate look at Bad Bunny’s personality and memories.

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For further engagement and video clips, Colbert directs fans to The Late Show’s YouTube channel.

Transcript

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[Stephen Colbert]

Thanks everybody. Welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world to the Late Show. I'm your host Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't have to tell any of you it's been a hell of a week. I'm sorry I read that wrong. It's been hell. Right now Minnesotans are still being terrorized by Trump's goons and it's not entirely clear. It's not entirely clear when it will end. In the wake of two murders by anti immigration agents, Trump has removed Border Patrol commander Greg Bevino, seen here embodying Coco Chanel's famous motto I love Nazis. Bavino has been replaced in Minnesota by Border Czar and happiest meatball in the steam tray. That's all we know, it's too early to know if Trump is actually trying to de escalate the violence or just rearranging the douchebags on the Titanic. Right now. So far, so far, from what we can tell, it looks a little bit like option B, because this morning Trump posted surprisingly, Mayor Jacob Fry has just stated that Minneapolis does not and will not enforce federal immigration laws. This is after having had a very good conversation with him. Could somebody please explain that he is playing with fire? I had a very good conversation. No, folks, I had a very good conversation with Mayor Fry. Just had a great relationship with his uncle, Mayor McCheese. But now, folks, now Mayor Fry is playing with fire when he should be playing in the Fryer. The administration is feeling the heat because Americans are outraged. Anti ICE sentiment is everywhere. In fact, this weekend on Instagram, Reddit, TikTok and YouTube, posts critical of ICE went viral even in apolitical online spaces. For example, on one subreddit, for playfully patting your cat like you're playing the bongos, the moderator got a record number of upvotes after posting, quote, if you still support trumpice even slightly, you're not welcome in this. You hear that? Do you get that? Do you understand that if you support the fascists, your hands have no place tapping sweet samba rhythms on your cat's bongo butt. Which means the revolution has a new fight song. Hit it. Cat seems to like it. I wouldn't mind that. Naturally, a lot of the anger has been directed at Homeland Security Secretary and girlfriend, a lonely sailor made from driftwood and kelp, Christy Noem. On Saturday, Noem was quick to call Preddy a domestic terrorist without evidence. Now House Democrats are threatening to impeach her, and even some Republicans are demanding her resignation. But yesterday. That's pleasant something. But yesterday, Trump said no when asked by a reporter if Noem would step down, adding, I think she's doing a very good job. I think she's doing a very good job, folks. Nope, she's doing excellent. There's no one else I'd rather have everyone blame for my mindless cruelty. She's perfect. First off, she's a woman and nobody likes that. For her part, Noem is trying to blame other people for immediately labeling a murder victim a domestic terrorist. Yesterday, she reportedly said, everything I've done, I've done at the direction of the President and Stephen Miller. Oh, so you were just following orders? This was all just a nothing burger? Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I misread that. It's a nuremberger. But Much of Noem's. But this much of Noem's story does check out. Right after Preddy was killed. Miller called him an assassin intent on massacring law enforcement. But now he's saying that wasn't his idea either. Yesterday, he told reporters any early comments made were based on information sent to the White House through Customs and Border Protection. So Kristi Noem, who runs Customs and Border Protection, heard it from Stephen Miller, who says he heard it from Customs and Border Protection run by Kristi Noem. This is a real snake eating its own tail, which I believe is how Stephen Miller reproduces. Yesterday, during a press event with Iowa farmers, Trump was asked about the trouble in Minnesota. Warning. If you're a fan of the song Eye of the Tiger, this might make you like it less.

[Commercial Narrator]

Why did you decide to shake up.

[Stephen Colbert]

Your leadership team in Minnesota and send. I do that all the time. I shake up teams. Everybody here. These are a lot of owners of farms and places and you shake up your team if they can't do the crops fast enough. That was an insane analogy to make while blasting that song in the background. If you work for a farmer and you do crops too slow or you just maybe murder de escalation or not, things in Minnesota are still very tense. Case in point, last night, Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, a very frequent target of the President's, was speaking in a town hall where she was attacked by a man with a mystery liquid. Take a look.

[Commercial Narrator]

And DHS Secretary Kristi Noem must resign or face impeachment.

[Stephen Colbert]

Representative Omar is okay and admirably tough under pressure. Check out during the attack, she moves toward danger and then cocks her arm back. Girl was ready to throw some hands right there. Explains her campaign slogan. Ilhan Omar will fight for you. And with you. After school in the Panera parking lot, the attacker. How's it sound? Coming through okay.

[Bad Bunny]

Going through.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. The attacker has been identified as a 55 year old man named Anthony J. Kacmerczyk. As of this taping, we didn't know what his motivations were. It might have been Donald Trump. It might have been Captain Morgan. Witnesses say that Kacmercik sprayed Omar with a strong smelling liquid from this syringe. Some on the Internet speculated it was urine. If so, Anthony, you gotta hydrate immediately. Turns out, turns out, I'm happy to say, turns out the substance was apple cider vinegar. That's right, vinegar. That's more dangerous than you think. If she had had baking soda in her pocket, he could have turned her into A volcano. She's fine. She finished her speech. The guy's in jail. Now, clearly, when it comes to Minnesota, Trump has a big PR problem on his decomposing hands. So yesterday he tried to change the narrative by flying out to Iowa for a rally about the economy. There's just one problem. We just found out that in January, consumer confidence collapsed to its lowest level since 2014. Well, yeah, that year everyone's confidence collapsed after John Travolta tried to introduce Idina Menzel. Please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only Dazeem. It never gets old. I just like. I just like watching it. We don't even have a follow up joke. We just want to. Just want to watch that as often as we can. Every month. Here's the thing. Every month something called the conference board releases a consumer confidence index. And this January, the numbers are truly stunning. I'm talking about 84.5, 65.1 and 113.7. Do you know what that means? Because I don't. And that's scary. Where are we headed from here? 293.5, 47.6. Or the unthinkable? 420.69. Nice. A warning about this next story for any 8 year olds in the room. You're going to love it. Because a small geyser of poop water is flooding into the Potomac River. That's right. Washington D.C. has an unstoppable geyser of poop. And now there's one in the Potomac too, according to reports. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. That joke courtesy of little Richie Dom, age 8. According to reports, the oopsie poopy happened when part of a major sewer line that carries wastewater collapse experts estimate the overflow of sewage about 40 million gallons a day. That's some deep doo doo. Like all stories involving poop geysers. This is going to get worse before it gets better. Because while much of the sewage may be locked in ice at the moment, it's unclear what the effect will be when it's released later. According to to the Riverkeeper. Yes, the Riverkeeper. Ha ha ha. Bow, mortal slaves, to your precious terra firma and heed the portentous cry of I, the river keeper. For I may keep the river, but who keeps me? It's a water safety nonprofit. Indeed. Fun fact, The Riverkeeper's name. You guys good over there? I didn't scare you, did I? I didn't scare anybody, did I? Fun fact, the Riverkeeper's name is Dean. Naw, jokes But I will not make fun of his name because Dean has made it clear. Naw jokes. We got a great show for you tonight.

[Commercial Narrator]

Coming up.

Bad Bunn.

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[Stephen Colbert]

You know who this man is? I call him Bonito. But you know him as Bad Bunny. He's got the new album Debit Mas Photos out now. And thanks for being here again.

[Commercial Narrator]

Lovely.

[Stephen Colbert]

Lovely to talk to you. I had such a good time talking to you before. And even though, I mean, I think even though there's a, you know, I don't speak Spanish, you taught me some things about your native Puerto Rico and a little bit of a few terms I didn't know, but I wonder. But that was just scratching the surface of you, your life, your experiences, everything that makes Bad Bunny. And I was hoping that I could subject you to something called the Colbert questionnaire.

[Bad Bunny]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

And the Colbert questionnaire, it's a series of questions that we use to find out exactly who someone is. They're almost like. They're like. They're like little spirits that go into the person.

[Bad Bunny]

Oh, okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

They pull out of them the truth so that we can fully know you. Are you ready to be fully known by the world?

[Bad Bunny]

No, but let's do it.

[Stephen Colbert]

First question to the Colbert questionnaire. What Bad Bunny is the best sandwich.

[Bad Bunny]

The best sandwich. Tripleta.

[Stephen Colbert]

Tripleta.

[Bad Bunny]

Tripletta.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's in there?

[Bad Bunny]

Everything that you want.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. Okay, fine, answer. Fine answer. What was the first concert that you went to? First musical performance.

[Bad Bunny]

First concert. It was like a free. Like in Puerto Rico. We made like, fiesta Patronage. It's like a town festival. Like, it's free and there's a Lot of artists. So that was my first.

[Stephen Colbert]

And does the festival still go on?

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Have you played it?

[Bad Bunny]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

You realize you have to, now that you brought it up.

[Bad Bunny]

I will.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay.

[Bad Bunny]

Someday I will.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. What. What is the scariest animal?

[Bad Bunny]

Scariest animal? Acho. A cucaracha.

[Stephen Colbert]

Is that big?

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah. Yeah. Cockroach.

[Stephen Colbert]

Cockroach. Open a cabinet. Yeah. Apples or oranges?

[Bad Bunny]

Oranges. Orange.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oranges.

[Bad Bunny]

Orange.

[Stephen Colbert]

Okay. It's acceptable. It's acceptable. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

[Bad Bunny]

Autograph? I don't think so. No.

[Stephen Colbert]

No?

[Bad Bunny]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Athletes? No, just. No. It's okay.

[Bad Bunny]

Well, I have a couple autographs, but I never say, like.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Bad Bunny]

Can you sign this? It's more like a gift or something.

[Commercial Narrator]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

But you never asked.

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah. No. No.

[Stephen Colbert]

What do you think happens when we die?

[Bad Bunny]

Well, I don't know. They. They bury us. I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's your favorite action movie?

[Bad Bunny]

My favorite action movie? Scarface.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Say hello to my little friend.

[Bad Bunny]

Say hello to my little friend.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Window or aisle?

[Commercial Narrator]

Aisle.

[Bad Bunny]

Oh, aisle, I guess.

[Commercial Narrator]

Aisle?

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Why aisle instead of window?

[Bad Bunny]

I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, for me, it's because if I have to go to the bathroom on the plane, I don't want to go past the person in the aisle. I want to be able to get.

[Bad Bunny]

Up and just go, maybe. Yeah.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Bad Bunny]

I don't like to look to the window, so.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't like the window?

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't like to think about flying? Are you a nervous flyer?

[Bad Bunny]

I don't like to fly, but I'm. No, I like to fly. Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Why? Did you just realize you have a sponsorship by an airline? No, I love flying. I love my friends at Delta. Delta Airlines. Delta One, the finest lounge.

[Bad Bunny]

No, no, I like to fly. I like to fly.

[Stephen Colbert]

Benito, what is your favorite smell?

[Bad Bunny]

My favorite smell? Like this Christmas cinnamon smell. Like, you know. Oh, my God.

[Commercial Narrator]

Cinnamon.

[Stephen Colbert]

Nutmeg.

[Bad Bunny]

Cinnamon Christmas tree. The Christmas tree. That smell is the best.

[Stephen Colbert]

That's all good. Least favorite smell.

[Bad Bunny]

Ay. Er. You know.

[Stephen Colbert]

I think. I don't think we need a translation for that one. We have to take a quick break, but we're back with more Bad Bunny.

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Stephen Colbert]

What's your earliest memory?

[Bad Bunny]

Earliest memory?

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow.

[Bad Bunny]

I think my earliest memory. I have a lot of earliest memories, but I don't know the order of the. You know, because I remember maybe my first Christmas.

[Stephen Colbert]

Really? That young?

[Bad Bunny]

Well, the first Christmas that I remember.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, I thought you remembered your first Christmas.

[Bad Bunny]

No, no, no, no. My first memory, I think, is.

[Commercial Narrator]

I.

[Bad Bunny]

Remember I used to watch a picture of a girl. It was in a book. My mom had a book, like a picture book, and there was a picture of a girl, and she was my crush.

[Stephen Colbert]

Did you know who she was?

[Bad Bunny]

No. And I used to cry for that. And I was, like, four years old.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wow. And how old was the girl?

[Bad Bunny]

I don't. I never knew.

[Stephen Colbert]

So, like, four or, like, 40?

[Bad Bunny]

No, no. Like, it was kind of my age. Oh, really? Yeah.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do you know where this photo is now?

[Bad Bunny]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh. Cause you could hold it up and maybe meet her maybe. Maybe cats or dogs?

[Bad Bunny]

Dogs.

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah. Do you have a dog?

[Bad Bunny]

Um. Yes or no? I don't know.

[Stephen Colbert]

You don't know if you have a dog? Is the dog on the airplane you don't like flying on? Let's move on. You only get. You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. Okay. So that means you don't have to listen to it all the time, but when you go to listen to music, this is the song you get to hear.

[Bad Bunny]

Okay.

[Stephen Colbert]

What song is it?

[Commercial Narrator]

Wow.

[Bad Bunny]

Wow, wow, wow, wow. That's the toughest question ever.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, it's a tough. It's a tough quiz. What'd you say? I didn't catch all.

[Bad Bunny]

I don't know. I think maybe it could be salsa song, maybe. I'm going to pick that one.

[Stephen Colbert]

You're not going to pick that one?

[Bad Bunny]

No. Marejada. Feliz.

[Stephen Colbert]

Marejala.

[Commercial Narrator]

Feliz.

[Bad Bunny]

Yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

What does that mean? Something happy.

[Bad Bunny]

Something happy? Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Feliz is happy? Yes. Yeah.

[Bad Bunny]

Feliz is happy. Marejala. Well, I don't know how to say it in Spanish. Marijal is like waves, I think.

[Stephen Colbert]

Oh, okay. Happy waves.

[Bad Bunny]

Yeah.

[Stephen Colbert]

Something like that. Something like that. Okay. You guys know that one?

[Bad Bunny]

Nah.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. Okay. What number am I thinking of right now? Yeah.

[Bad Bunny]

Nine.

[Stephen Colbert]

No. Describe the rest of your life in five words. The rest of my rest of your life in five words. And they can be English or Spanish.

[Bad Bunny]

Five words.

[Stephen Colbert]

Five words. Yeah.

[Bad Bunny]

Okay. Happy. Good morning.

[Stephen Colbert]

Happy.

[Bad Bunny]

Retired. Retired, yeah. Eating tripletas and living in Puerto Rico.

[Stephen Colbert]

Congratulations. You are known.

[Commercial Narrator]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. It is my great honor to welcome you all to Starfleet Academy. There's never been a better time to enroll in Star Trek. It's our job to prepare you for the unimaginable. To the Night Cadet. In high pressure situations, positive reinforcement is.

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[Stephen Colbert]

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