Clarissa Ward | Strait Misbehavin'

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Clarissa Ward | Strait Misbehavin'
Date: March 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show features award-winning CNN chief international correspondent Clarissa Ward, joining Stephen Colbert from Erbil, Iraq. The episode combines Colbert’s signature satirical take on the conflict between the United States and Iran—particularly its economic and geopolitical fallout—with a sobering, on-the-ground perspective from Ward about the human cost and uncertainty created by the ongoing war. Key topics include global oil disruption, economic ripple effects, the fog and trauma of war, regional politics, and the complexities of media coverage in conflict zones.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Situation in the Strait of Hormuz and Economic Fallout

• Colbert’s Monologue on the War’s Impact

  • Ongoing "Trump's Not a War with Iran" centered on the crucial shipping lane, the Strait of Hormuz, through which 20% of global oil flows (03:38).
  • Iran’s tactics: mining the strait, use of shore missiles and explosive-laden boats; rising number of maritime attacks (04:10).
  • Rapid, tangible global effects: oil and commodity prices soared; misinformation briefly calmed markets before reality hit (05:40-07:30).

• Notable Quote:
  "You were surprised that bombing the place the oil comes from makes the oil cost more? Huh? I thought burning down the Ann Taylor loft would lead to more sensible workplace separates."
  — Stephen Colbert ([07:55])

• U.S. administration appears caught off guard by market chaos; Trump’s communication characterized as vague/confusing (07:00–07:55).

2. War Reporting and the Human Cost—Clarissa Ward’s Dispatch

• Ward joins from Erbil, Iraq, close to the Iranian border ([15:21]).

  • Reports of constant drone and missile attacks on U.S. bases and various targets in the region: "They are coming in pretty regularly and certainly pretty much every single night." ([15:44])

• Defining the Endgame:

  • Ward underscores the lack of clarity about victory or exit strategies, quoting Machiavelli:
    "Wars will begin when you will, but they do not end when you please."
    — Clarissa Ward ([16:39])

  • Warns of a rapidly growing regional crisis involving up to 14 countries; fears among Iranians for safety and future; most ordinary people hiding amid bombardment and repression ([16:39–18:08]).

• On Information Blackout & Missing Stories:

  • Difficulty in capturing the full human impact due to reporting restrictions and government crackdowns.
  • "We're not seeing the mothers of those 168 children who were killed... We're not getting that texture, that layer of complexity and humanity, which... feels like you are looking through a keyhole."
    — Clarissa Ward ([19:46])

3. Regional Response and Kurdish Dynamics

• Who are the Kurds? Ward educates on Kurdish identity—largest ethnic group without a state, spread across Iran, Iraq, Turkey, Syria; not a monolith ([22:38]).
  • U.S. flirted with supporting Kurdish opposition groups, heightening regional tension before backing off ([23:19]).

4. Media, War, and Dehumanization

• Pentagon Media Tactics:
  • Colbert raises concerns about the Pentagon using Call of Duty clips to celebrate battle victories.
  • Ward’s candid reaction:
    "I feel deeply ashamed, and I think it belies a staggering lack of humility... it just plays into the worst stereotypes about America and how America wields its power."
    — Clarissa Ward ([24:49])

5. Ukraine: Parallel Fronts and Western Fickle Support

• Clarissa’s recent return from Ukraine:
  • Ukrainians experience bitterness and confusion at drop in U.S. support.
  • "People have a breaking point... I spoke to a lot of people who said, you know, I don't really ever want to hear the word resilient again. We're not superhuman. We're human and everybody has a limit."
    — Clarissa Ward ([25:49])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Economic Naiveté:
  "You were surprised that bombing the place the oil comes from makes the oil cost more?"
  — Stephen Colbert ([07:55])

• On the War’s Uncertainty:
  "Wars will begin when you will, but they do not end when you please."
  — Clarissa Ward ([16:39], quoting Machiavelli)

• On the Reporting Challenge:
  "We're not getting that texture, that layer of complexity and humanity, which frankly, as a war correspondent, to be trying to cover this, it feels like you are looking through a keyhole."
  — Clarissa Ward ([19:46])

• On Glamorizing Violence:
  "I feel deeply ashamed, and I think it belies a staggering lack of humility."
  — Clarissa Ward ([24:49])

• On Human Resilience:
  "I don't really ever want to hear the word resilient again. We're not superhuman. We're human and everybody has a limit."
  — Clarissa Ward ([25:49])

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Important Timestamps

• [03:38] – Colbert introduces the crisis in the Strait of Hormuz
• [07:55] – Satirical critique of U.S. economic shortsightedness
• [15:21] – Clarissa Ward joins from Erbil, Iraq
• [16:39] – Ward discusses uncertainty and quotes Machiavelli
• [18:28] – Regional dread and “unknown unknowns”
• [19:46] – Missing humanity in press reporting due to conditions in Iran
• [22:38] – Explanation of the Kurds and their regional predicament
• [24:49] – Response to Pentagon’s ‘Call of Duty’ media piece
• [25:49] – Insights from Ukraine: the pain of prolonged war and shifting alliances

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Tone & Style

• Colbert’s tone: sharp, irreverent, and satirical, especially when lampooning political missteps, economic shocks, and media theatrics.
• Clarissa Ward: measured, empathetic, and unflinchingly honest—analytical yet emotionally attuned to the cost of war, offering clarity amidst chaos.

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Takeaway

This episode deftly balances incisive satire with journalistic gravitas. Colbert’s comedic framing accentuates the absurdity and tragedy of the current crisis, while Ward’s on-the-ground reporting humanizes its consequences, focusing on uncertainty, trauma, and the stories that are being missed due to censorship and chaos. The episode underscores how conflicts ripple far beyond battlefields—into economies, communities, and the hearts of ordinary people caught in the crossfire.

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Transcript

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[Hank]

Hey, Sal.

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Hank.

[Stephen Colbert]

What's going on? We haven't worked a case in years.

[Hank]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Hank]

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[Stephen Colbert]

It sounds like Carvana just makes it easy to buy your car, Hank.

[Hank]

Yeah, you're right. Case closed.

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Buy your car today on Carvana.

[Clarissa Ward]

Delivery fees may apply.

[Stephen Colbert]

Wonderful people. Welcome to the Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. It is day 12 of Trump's not a War with Iran, and all attention is on one of the world's most important shipping lanes, the Strait of Hormuz. Which brings us to the latest edition of Hormuz News you can use. It continues. Now, if you were paying attention in eighth grade geography, first of all, nerd second, you would know the Strait of Hormuz is this narrow body of water in the Persian Gulf through which 20% of the world's oil travels. So a direct threat to the world economy that Iran has begun laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz. Oh, no. That's going to truly make it a dire strait. No one knows exactly how many mines Iran has, but estimates say their stock ranges from 2,000 to 6,000 naval mines. But experts say shipping traffic can stop almost immediately once a single tanker has hit a mine. Or even if insurers just believe that the threat is credible. Insurers don't want to get caught up in all that, they have to focus on their core business of adding characters to the extended flow universe. It's not just minds either. If you thought it was just. If you thought it was just minds, you're wrong, Luce. Not just mines. Iran has also covered the strait with shore based missiles and explosive laden boats. And since the fighting began, 10 vessels have been attacked. And last night three more were hit by projectiles. The Strait of Hormuz is now the most unsafe place to be on a boat, narrowly surpassing with your recently divorced uncle. Who wants to see what this baby can do? Come on. Here we go. Hold on, everybody. Hold on. Here we go. Hold on. Dire Straits. He's playing Dire Straits on the. Because this is your uncle, of course. He loves Dire Straits. Yes, there's no end in sight either. Earlier this week, Iran said that until the United States and Israel end their attacks, it will not allow even one liter of oil to leave the region. Okay, but liters are meaningless to Americans. We need it in our system of measurement, like gallon or gulp. All of this is causing complete chaos in the oil market. So yesterday, to reassure all that nervous money out there, we heard from Secretary of Energy and man telling a crab to put down the kitchen knife. Chris Wright. Wright posted on social media saying the U.S. navy successfully escorted an oil tanker through the Strait of Hormuz to ensure oil remains flowing to global markets. But the message vanished within minutes because turns out that never happened. But not before Wall street went all bonkers believing things are going to be okay with futures for oil, diesel and gasoline sliding and stocks jumping up. But then when the tweet was deleted, investors were left struggling, and there's already too much drama in the life of an investor. Just look at Wall street. Wall Street 2. Money never sleeps. Wall Street 3. This cocaine's not hitting like it used to. And of course, Wall street, this is. This is now hitting Americans at the gas pump. According to. Ah, sorry, I misread that. According to Triple A, that was a mistake. Before the war. It's an easy mistake. It's a simple mistake. Before the war, the Average price was $2.98 a gallon. Today it's 3. 58. Yeah, yeah, that's the wrong direction. Looks like we might have to downgrade some of our summer travel plans. Disney World. No, kids. I said I take you to Disney World. Now get on the tire swing. I'm gonna whip you around for a while while grandma sings Hakuna matata. Trump is she doesn't know the lyrics. Trump is minimize the political damage posting earlier this week short term oil prices which will drop rapidly when the destruction of the Iran nuclear anthrax is a very small price to pay for USA and world safety and peace. Easy for him to say. He doesn't pay for his own gas. That's anyone who stands behind him. Somehow, somehow, Somehow President businessman didn't see all this coming. Reportedly, this weekend's oil price spike caught White House staffers off guard. According to one, it was insane. It absolutely surprised the administration. Really? You were surprised that bombing the place the oil comes from makes the oil cost more? Huh? Huh. I thought burning down the Ann Taylor loft would lead to more sensible workplace separates. Huh? That's what I thought. Trump went to Ohio today to sort of sell his war. And while he was there touring a factory, Fox News Peter Doocy asked this. You just said it is a little excursion and you said it is a war. So which one is it? Well, it's both. It's both. It's an excursion that will keep us out of a war and the war is going to be. I mean, for them it's a war. For us, it turned out to be easier than we thought. It's a war, but it's an excursion and it's a shampoo. While also being a conditioner. Keeps down the nuclear and the flakes. Gas prices aren't the only thing. Thank you. Thank you. SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE Nothing. You can work, you can. No, no, no, no. I don't need your pity. I want it, but I don't need it. Gas prices aren't the only thing the administration is confused about. Take Trump's special envoy and Bilbo banker, Steve Witkoff. Witkoff is part of Trump's like little inner circle there and he directly negotiated for the United States with Iran. So it was not particularly reassuring when he said this on cnbc.

[Clarissa Ward]

So how do you see this, ending, this war?

[Stephen Colbert]

I don't know, Sarah. I know that seems. I know that seems a little concerning, but remember, Churchill showed that same resolve and his address to a worried nation. We shall fight them on. I don't know, Sarah. I'm late for a thing. Smoke bomb. Americans. He had smoke bombs. He had smoke bombs. Americans aren't just getting punched in the pump. This week, aluminum prices jumped to their highest level in almost four years. But that's okay because we can just call on our British allies. They have something very similar called aluminium. We can ask them where they got that. This crisis is because some of the world's major aluminum smelters are in Qatar, in Bahrain. In other words, if you smelt it, you are currently being bombed by Iran. Big agriculture could also be in trouble because one of the byproducts of oil refining is a main ingredient fertilizer called urea. And urea prices have risen as much as 35% since the war began. Well, maybe they could just tap into America's strategic reserve of urea, the D train. In fact, I know one guy who will give you some whether you ask for it or not. Another thing is about to be more expensive because more than a quarter of the world's helium supply could be cut off if the Strait of Hormuz remains closed. I wonder what this next joke is going to be. No. Speaking of trouble,

[Clarissa Ward]

we just learned that the Department of Homeland Security spent millions

[Stephen Colbert]

on vehicles custom wrapped to say ice, even though it's against protocol for ICE officers to drive identifiable vehicles in public. That's a true pie. So they got all these vehicles, they say ice, and that's against the rules. Let's take a look. They got the logo, they got red stripes and defend the homeland in straight to VHS RoboCop sequel fonts. And you can't see it in this image. But the cars also have a golden decal of President Trump's name, which is why it just won the J.D. power and Associates Award for best midsize SUV for curbside urination. That could be a great source of urea because they're now unusable. These thousands of ICE branded vehicles are just sitting in parking garages. Well, come on. They could easily be resold if they just touched up the paint job. You could sell one to a local ice cream vendor or you could sell one to Kid Rock. Speaking of cars, I don't know. I don't know what it seems. Seems like a lovely guy. Seems like a lovely guy. Speaking of cars, earlier this week, the White House announced some insane details of their upcoming America 250 birthday celebration. Specifically, the Freedom 250 Grand Prix, an Indy car race in downtown Washington. Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum told us why this idea was so good. When we think about America's 250 years, it's really hard to think about anything that's more American than cars. It's long been said Americans have always had a love affair with their cars. It's true. We've all seen the bumper sticker. If this car's a rockin', it's' cause I'm bangin this car. We got a great show for you tonight

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coming up. Clarissa Ward. Oh, could this vintage store be any cuter?

[Stephen Colbert]

Right?

[Clarissa Ward]

And the best part, they accept Discover.

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Accept Discovery in a little place like this? I don't think so.

[Clarissa Ward]

Jennifer oh yeah.

[LEGO Narrator]

Huh? Discover is accepted where I like to shop. Come on baby, get with the times.

[Clarissa Ward]

Right.

[LEGO Narrator]

So we shouldn't get the parachute pants. These are making a comeback, I think.

[Stephen Colbert]

Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, based on the February 2025 Nielsen report.

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[Stephen Colbert]

Folks, my first guest tonight is a Peabody Award winning journalist and CNN's chief international correspondent. Please welcome back to THE LATE SHOW, Clarissa Ward. Clarissa, can you hear me?

[Clarissa Ward]

There you go.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hi, Clarissa. Now you're not here with us right now because you're abroad covering the war in Iran. Where are you joining us from tonight?

[Clarissa Ward]

I am in the lovely city of Erbil in northern Iraq in Iraqi Kurdistan, about 60 miles from the border with Iran.

[Stephen Colbert]

Secretary Hegseth has told us that the attack on Iran is continuing and growing. Every day there where you are, do you see sorties of American flights and missiles going in right now?

[Clarissa Ward]

We sometimes hear jets in the skies. It's not clear whose jets those would be, presumably the US Although possibly Israel as well. What we hear more here, in fact, we heard them just a little while before coming on the show are drone attacks and some missile attacks too. And those are targeting US bases, sometimes hotels, sometimes Iranian cars, Kurdish opposition groups Sometimes, but they are coming in pretty regularly and certainly pretty much every single night.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, Secretary Hegseth has said that this war is just at the beginning. Trump has said it is very complete. Then he said it is ending soon. There has been a sort of vagueness and definition of what victory or an exit strategy is or what the goals are from where you are and what you're hearing. Do you have any greater sense of what the purpose or the endgame might be here?

[Clarissa Ward]

You know, Stephen, my good friend journalist Holla Ghorani today quoted Machiavelli, who wrote, wars will begin when you will, but they do not end when you please. So I think this war is particularly disconcerting in the sense that it is so difficult to prognosticate or predict when it will end, how far it will unravel, what, how far the repercussions will reach. We're talking about 13 or 14 countries have now become embroiled in one way or another with this conflict. I'm not sure that that was part of the calculus going into this. And most importantly, let's just talk for a second about the Iranian people, because for all the declarations from the US From President Trump, from Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu about Iranians, take to the street, take your country back. The Iranians, the few Iranians that we've been able to get in touch with, because obviously there has been an Internet blackout since this war began, are mostly hiding. They're hiding from relentless bombardment. They're hiding from a brutal regime that has made very clear that they will shoot to kill if anyone dares to take to the streets. And for those ordinary Iranian people, I can only imagine how horrifying it is right now to have just so little sense of where this is going and what the metric is for victory for

[Stephen Colbert]

the United States, how do you have a sense where you are? Obviously, you're in Iraq right now. You said 60 miles from the border. These are close neighbors. Do you have some sense of how this is being received by the countries that are affected by this, the ones who have been attacked in response to the United States and Israel's bombing of Iran?

[Clarissa Ward]

I think for all of these countries that have come under fire now, retaliatory fire from Iran, whether it's the Gulf countries, whether it's Iraqi Kurdistan, where I am, there is a sense of dread like, oh, my God, not this again. Are we seriously going to get dragged into some protracted regional conflagration which has the potential to escalate in so many different ways. When you think back to the US invasion of Iraq in 2003, and everybody kind of laughed at then Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld when he talked about the known knowns and then the unknown unknowns. And I think for the people who live here, it's the fear of the unknown unknowns and the fear that maybe no one in the White House right now is really trying to, to get to grips with what those unknowns might be in order to potentially mitigate this getting even bloodier and even uglier.

[Stephen Colbert]

As you said, that there's, there's a news blackout in Iran. What are the stories that we're possibly missing here in the region because there isn't a way to actually convey the reality on the ground?

[Clarissa Ward]

Well, first of all, I really want to give a big shout out to my colleague Fred Plaiken, who was just inside Iran for a week and working under incredibly stressful and dangerous conditions and doing really important reporting. But I think he would be the first to admit that you are very challenged, even when you are lucky enough to actually be on the ground in Iran, to really talk to people because they are so frightened. And so what we are missing right now so clearly is the humanity of this. We're not seeing the mothers of those 168 children who were killed, almost certainly by a U.S. tomahawk. We're not seeing the people hiding in their bathrooms, clutching their children as the ceiling comes down. We're not seeing people who were cheering when the Ayatollah, when the Supreme Leader was killed, but who have now been told that if there are more reports coming from that apartment block that anyone's cheering or booing that they will be raided. And the fear that they live with the trauma that they went through in January, more than 7,000 people massacred for taking to the streets and demanding freedom and a better future future. We are not getting that texture, that layer of complexity and humanity, which frankly, as a war correspondent, to be trying to cover this, it feels like you are looking through a keyhole. And it's incredibly frustrating and humbling. But it is what it is and we continue to try to do the best that we can.

[Stephen Colbert]

We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Clarissa Ward, everybody.

[Hank]

Hey, Sal.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hank. What's going on? We haven't worked a case in years.

[Hank]

I just bought my car at Havana and it was so easy. Too easy.

[Stephen Colbert]

Think something's up?

[Hank]

You tell me. They got thousands of options, found a great car at a great price and it got delivered the next day.

[Stephen Colbert]

It sounds like Carvana just makes it easy to buy your car, Hank.

[Hank]

Yeah, you're right. Case closed.

[LEGO Narrator]

Buy your car. Today on Carvana.

[Clarissa Ward]

Delivery fees may apply.

[Stephen Colbert]

Hey, everybody. We're back with CNN's Clarissa Ward from Erbil, Iraq. There was some talk about the Kurds taking up arms and joining this fight to help overthrow the Iranian regime. First of all, who are the Kurds?

[Clarissa Ward]

I'm really glad you asked, because I know. I think sometimes people are too shy to ask because they're like, I know. I should really know more about the Kurds. The Kurds are the largest ethnic group in the world without a state. There's about 30 to 40 million Kurds. They are spread out across a number of countries, but primarily Iran, Iraq, Turkey, and Syria. And I guess the first thing to say is that the Kurds, unsurprisingly, therefore, are not a monolith. And there are many different Kurdish political and fighting factions spread throughout the region. And at one stage, the US Was actually actively considering, and indeed, the CIA had already begun supporting some of the Iranian Kurdish opposition groups that are based here in Iraqi Kurdistan, which then was really creating a huge amount of tension here in Iraqi Kurdistan, because the Iranians responded by saying, we're going to flatten the whole of Iraqi Kurdistan if a single fighter crosses that border. And then President Trump changed his mind again. And for now, that seems to have kind of died away as an option for the moment.

[Stephen Colbert]

Let's see. I imagine that as a war correspondent for many years, part of the job is to convey to those of us who aren't there the tragedy and the horror that is war. And that requires, for a certain level, not being desensitized to it. And that must be harder at some times, especially when now violence is being so celebrated in odd ways by our own Pentagon press office, they recently put out a video where they use clips from Call of Duty to do sort of a triumphal celebration of the destruction of Iran. As someone who's been to so many of these conflicts and seen the reality for humans on the ground, what's your reaction to that? Sort of the glitz and the glamour they're trying to put on this violence?

[Clarissa Ward]

I mean, obviously, as a journalist, I'm probably not supposed to say this, but I feel deeply ashamed, and I think it belies a staggering lack of humility. And frankly, it doesn't really matter so much what I think or feel about it. It matters how people here feel about it. It matters how people in Iran feel about it. And I think it just plays into the worst stereotypes about America and how America wields its power and what America cares about. And for so many in this region who have just felt dehumanized and humiliated for decades now, yeah, it's just, it's a lot.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's hard to keep your attention on, on so many conflicts at once. You recently returned from Ukraine. You spoke to Zelinsky while you were there. What did you learn?

[Clarissa Ward]

I learned that there's not just a bit of bitterness, but like genuine hurt and confusion as to why the United States went to being the biggest champion and supporter of Ukraine, to not seemingly being terribly engaged on this issue. And I learned that people have a breaking point. You know, they just lived through a winter where it was unbelievably freezing, sub zero temperatures every day. Russians bombing the energy infrastructure every day, blackouts, no heat. I spent an afternoon with a young single mother who has to walk her 3 year old daughter up and down 10 flights of stairs every day because there's no power and the elevator doesn't work. And I spoke to a lot of people who said, you know, I don't really ever want to hear the word resilient again. Like we're not superhuman. We're human and everybody has a limit.

[Stephen Colbert]

Well, thank you so much for joining us. I know it's early in the morning over there and obviously, please stay safe. And we look forward to all your coverage on CNN where you can watch Clarissa's coverage from Iraq. Clarissa Ward, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see me, more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. I'm back.

[Clarissa Ward]

I'm really back.

[Hank]

School Spirits returns.

[Clarissa Ward]

Why am I here?

[Stephen Colbert]

I'm not dead, right?

[Clarissa Ward]

This place is an absolute death trap.

[Stephen Colbert]

We need to get out of here now.

[Hank]

School Spirits new season, now streaming only on Paramount.

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[Clarissa Ward]

If I'm lying, I'm dying.

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[Clarissa Ward]

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[Stephen Colbert]

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[Clarissa Ward]

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