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Tommy Morrissey
I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm. But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey and I want to be remembered for my ability as a champion partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America? Bank of America NA member FDIC. Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.
Nourish Dietitian
Are you trying to get healthier but have no idea where to start? Connect with a registered dietitian through Nourish and learn how to fuel your body in a way that actually works for you. Because eating better doesn't mean eating less. Take appointments with your dietitian online from Home plus message them anytime for extra support. And since Nourish works with hundreds of insurance plans like Blue Cross, Blue Shield, Aetna and United, 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Ready to take control of your health? Get started@usenourish.com that's usenourished.com it's the late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert
Kids, you would have gotten away with it if not for their meddling. If you've ever been around a kid, congratulations, you have a cold now. But also, you know how kids love to ask questions and their parents don't always, always have the time to answer all of them. That's why I created a segment where I give parents a break by answering real questions from real kids. Now, unfortunately, my producers have had a time coming up with a good name for the segment. First, they called it Stephen Takes yous Kids, which was bad. Then they called it Steven's Re Education Camp, which was awful, really bordering on offensive. And this time I told them, just give me a title that explains. This is Content for Kids, where I share some wisdom I've gained as I've matured. So it's time for teeth.
Child
Obey. Mature Content for Kids.
Stephen Colbert
Do you want me to go to jail? Hey, kids, I'm Stephen. Who's got a question for me?
Child
Where does dirt come from?
Stephen Colbert
Great question, Ellie. Most dirt comes from the ground, but the really good dirt comes from your co worker when she has one too many margaritas at happy hour. I mean, can we talk about Alan, who's got Another question?
Child
Hi, Mr. Colbert. Why do cenas have spots?
Stephen Colbert
Oh, those aren't actually spots, Lily. Those are just bugs that splattered on them when they Were running really fast. His whole body is a windshield. Who's next?
Child
Hi, Steven. Why do fire trucks have lights?
Stephen Colbert
Thanks for that question, Keon. Here's the deal. Fire trucks have lights to distract the fire, okay? The lights start flashing, the fire looks in that direction, and then, bam. The fire gets punched in the face, okay? That's why they're called firefighters. Who's next?
Child
Hi, Steven. How do dinosaurs talk?
Stephen Colbert
Owen, I have some terrible news. The dinosaurs can't talk, Owen. They're dead. Next question.
Child
Why is light so fast?
Stephen Colbert
Well, hval light is fast because it doesn't weigh very much. That's why it's called light. In fact, some light is so light that it travels at the speed of light, and that's why light is pretty lit. Next question.
Child
Hi, Steven. Are avocados considered a fruit or a vegetable?
Stephen Colbert
Good question, Hannah. Fun fact. Avocados are neither a fruit nor a vegetable. They are an excuse to call eating a whole bowl of tortilla chips healthy. This is lowering my cholesterol. Who has another question?
Child
My question is, why do we need to eat?
Stephen Colbert
Well, andecy. To answer this one, I called in a guy who is an expert at eating.
Guy Fieri
Hey there, kids. Now, scientists say you need to eat in order to get energy. But I can tell you the truth. The real reason you need to eat is to support a little economy of a place we call Flavortown. I mean, eating is the only business we have in Flavortown. Now, if you stop eating, we'll have to, well, close the corn dog factory and. And turn off the donkey sauce fountain and shut down our light rail system. Or as we like to call it, gravy train. So keep eating, kids.
Stephen Colbert
Who's next?
Child
Are any of your relatives bears?
Stephen Colbert
Hmm. I don't think I'm related to any bears. Though I do have a strong desire to eat twice my body weight in salmon and go to sleep for the next five months. Who's next?
Child
I know we were created from the Big Bang, but, like, it was things moving around. But how did the things move around up here?
Tommy Morrissey
There. Whoa.
Stephen Colbert
Complex question, Luca, but I think I can handle it. Follow me. Here. You're asking how the materials that formed the single point of infinite density that caused the Big Bang got there in the first place. And, of course, the Big Bang itself was the beginning of space and time. So we need to look back at a time before there was such a thing as time. But how did something explode if nothing was there and no place for it to be? Okay, no problem. Let's just review the facts here. We just have to imagine a space where there's no space at a time when time didn't exist yet. And then. Next question. Well, kids, I hope that answers all your questions. And parents, if your kids have questions at home, please post a video to social media with the hashtag Colbert Kid Questions. Or submit a video to the link below.
Child
Bloo.
Stephen Colbert
And we just might feature it in our next installment of heated Colbert mature content for kids. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.
Summary of "Jenny Slate" Episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode Details:
The "Jenny Slate" episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert features a unique and engaging segment titled "Content for Kids." While the episode's title suggests a focus on Jenny Slate, the provided transcript centers around Stephen Colbert's interaction with children, answering their curious questions in his signature humorous style. This summary delves into the key elements of that segment, highlighting notable interactions and insights shared during the episode.
Stephen Colbert's Introduction:
At [01:09], Stephen Colbert introduces a new segment aimed at providing parents with a reprieve by addressing real questions from children. He humorously recounts the challenges his producers faced in naming the segment, ultimately settling on "Content for Kids."
"Kids, I'm Stephen. Who's got a question for me?" — Stephen Colbert [02:04]
Engaging with Child Questions:
Throughout the segment, Colbert fields a variety of imaginative and earnest questions posed by children. His responses blend factual information with comedic twists, making the segment both informative and entertaining.
Origin of Dirt:
Fire Truck Lights:
Dinosaurs Talking:
Speed of Light:
Avocados Classification:
Need to Eat:
"Eating is the only business we have in Flavortown. So keep eating, kids." — Guy Fieri [04:16]
Relative Bears:
Big Bang Movement:
Guest Appearance - Guy Fieri:
At [04:16], renowned chef Guy Fieri makes a guest appearance to answer the question about why we need to eat. His playful explanation ties eating to the fictional economy of "Flavortown," adding a flavorful twist to the segment.
"Eating is the only business we have in Flavortown. So keep eating, kids." — Guy Fieri [04:16]
As the segment concludes, Colbert encourages parents to engage with their children's curiosities by submitting their own questions through social media or the provided link. He humorously hints at featuring audience-submitted content in future episodes.
"If your kids have questions at home, please post a video to social media with the hashtag Colbert Kid Questions." — Stephen Colbert [06:02]
Colbert wraps up the episode by directing listeners to The Late Show YouTube channel for additional clips and exclusive content, ensuring continued engagement beyond the podcast.
Stephen Colbert [01:09]: "That's why I created a segment where I give parents a break by answering real questions from real kids."
Stephen Colbert [02:50]: "Fire trucks have lights to distract the fire... that's why they're called firefighters."
Guy Fieri [04:16]: "Eating is the only business we have in Flavortown. So keep eating, kids."
Stephen Colbert [05:09]: "How did the materials that formed the single point of infinite density that caused the Big Bang get there in the first place... Let's just imagine a space where there's no space at a time when time didn't exist yet."
Humorous Education:
Colbert effectively uses humor to address children's questions, making complex topics accessible and entertaining.
Celebrity Collaboration:
The inclusion of Guy Fieri adds a dynamic element, blending culinary culture with scientific curiosity.
Interactive Engagement:
By inviting listeners to submit questions, Colbert fosters a sense of community and participation among his audience.
The "Jenny Slate" episode of The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert offers a delightful blend of humor, education, and celebrity interaction through its "Content for Kids" segment. While the transcript does not directly showcase interaction with Jenny Slate, the episode stands out for its creative approach to answering children's questions, making it a memorable installment for listeners seeking both laughs and insights.