The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Episode: John Oliver | Troops, He Did It Again
Date: September 3, 2025
Guest: John Oliver
Episode Overview
Stephen Colbert returns from a summer break to kick off Season 11 of The Late Show, welcoming Emmy-winning “Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver as his first guest of the season. In trademark fashion, the episode blends rapid-fire news satire (focusing on recent Donald Trump rumors and White House antics) with a playful, insightful conversation covering minor league baseball, reality TV obsessions, British vs. American childhoods, and the joys (and anxieties) of unplugging from the news cycle.
Monologue and Opening News (01:19–12:17)
Main Themes:
- Return from vacation and start of Season 11
- Recent wild rumors regarding Donald Trump’s health and whereabouts
- Trump’s deployment of the National Guard to Washington, D.C., under the guise of fighting crime
- Humorous takes on viral protest, sandwich violence, and White House “mystery bags”
- Trump’s obsession with White House landscaping mishaps
Key Discussion Points:
- Colbert mocks recent speculation about Trump’s possible death after several days out of public view, joking about “proofs of life” like the president’s iPhone playing music (“Papa Loves Mambo”) and blurry White House footage.
- J.D. Vance’s comically evasive statements about presidential health fuel Colbert’s bits.
- Trump’s actual attempts at law and order—deploying troops performing sanitation in D.C.—are lampooned (“soldier, you’ve been put on leave… sorry, leaves”).
- A DC resident’s sandwich protest against the Guard is recounted with a slew of sandwich puns (“I will not stand by and watch harm come to an innocent sandwich… this P.O. boy has a legitimate roast beef…”).
- Trump’s odd post-Labor Day rants about cracks in the White House marble offer Colbert a rich vein of jokes around the president’s fixation with “surfaces.”
Notable Quotes:
- “Donald Trump is very much alive. Okay? And no, we like our presidents alive.” — Stephen Colbert (02:05)
- “The internet went crazy. ‘Is Trump dead?’ And ‘Trump dead’ were among the top searches on Google, while the top search on Bing was, as always, ‘where find Google.’” — Stephen Colbert (03:09)
- “Trump did have a little fun in the sun this time by sicing the military on American citizens.” — Stephen Colbert (06:20)
- “I cannot endorse sandwich-based violence of any kind. However you feel about Trump’s autocratic takeover, I will not stand by and watch harm come to an innocent sandwich.” — Stephen Colbert (09:18)
Memorable Segment:
- Sandwich Protest & Jokes (08:25–09:50): A D.C. resident throws a sandwich at the National Guard, prompting an avalanche of puns and a call for “peaceful resistance” invoking faux figures like “Mahatma Blimpy.”
John Oliver Joins the Show (15:52–34:27)
Celebrating Late Night and A Decade of Colbert (15:52–17:37)
- Colbert celebrates the show’s 10th anniversary with a commemorative Funko Pop figure.
- John Oliver notes he’s the most frequent guest (“This is 21. Tonight is 21… We can drink.” — Oliver, 17:11).
Notable Quotes:
- “America loves you. The world loves John Marvel.” — Stephen Colbert (16:37)
- “To Funko Pops, while supplies last!” — John Oliver (17:20)
Reality TV Obsession: Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (17:39–21:31)
Main Topics:
- Colbert prompts Oliver to explain his fascination with “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” which Oliver describes as “the most magnificent monsters on television.”
- Anecdotes about felonies committed onscreen (specifically Jen Shah’s fraud conviction).
- Oliver recommends starting from season one, since “you will see people committing crimes on camera” (18:28).
Notable Quotes:
- “These women are the most magnificent monsters on television. They are human hand grenades who willfully pull their own and each other's pins out for your entertainment.” — John Oliver (18:23)
- “If Jen Shah does not get to go back on the show when she comes out [of prison], Andy Cohen is not the super producer that I think he is.” — John Oliver (19:49)
Memorable Moment:
- Explanation of Bravo’s “grifting” ecosystem:
“Everyone’s got a solid grift, from makeup products that are gonna give you a rash to alcohol products that you could remove nail paint [with].” — John Oliver (20:24)
Royal Weddings vs. American Celebrity Weddings (24:26–25:39)
- Colbert brings up coverage of Taylor Swift’s engagement, dubbed “America’s royal wedding” by media.
- Oliver expresses his distaste for the British royals and notes that “Americans love royal weddings. You could have had those royal weddings if you didn’t throw your little tantrum a few hundred years ago.” (25:26)
Personal Stories & Childhood Antics (26:13–30:41)
Acting in “Bulbo and the Strange Villain” (26:13–26:33)
- Colbert and Oliver reminisce about acting in a kids’ superhero movie trailer.
Childhood Shoplifting Confession (26:47–28:14)
Story:
- John Oliver recounts his one failed attempt to steal a Curly Wurly chocolate bar as a child:
“I picked up this Curly Wurly and I walked towards the exit of the shop. And I remember thinking, I don't think I can do this. Turned around, put it back, walked out to my friends and went ‘No, a criminal life is not for me.’” — John Oliver (28:00)
Raising American-British Kids (28:57–31:17)
- Oliver discusses raising his two children in America and their “innate self-confidence” compared to British children.
- His son occasionally parodies his British accent, which Oliver says is “more than a whiff of the Mary Poppins about it.” (30:01)
- Kids love The Great British Baking Show; Oliver jokes some contestants are “going through hell” and have internalized impending failure (30:41).
Minor League Baseball, Civic Eccentricity, and America’s “Confident Eccentricity” (31:17–34:27)
Key Points:
- Oliver describes his involvement in rebranding the Erie Seawolves to the “Erie Moon Mammoths.”
- Both hosts share a love for minor league baseball’s “confident eccentricity”: “To love minor league baseball is to love something that people aren’t really watching.” — John Oliver (32:25)
- Colbert recalls a Daily Show report about the Savannah Sand Nats’ mascot: a man in a toilet costume racing children to promote water conservation.
- Both agree that staged weirdness and innate confidence are quintessentially American. (“British children he could beat. Because they’d look at that toilet and say, ‘I’ve already lost.’” — Oliver, 34:18)
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Segment Description | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Colbert’s Monologue/Trump Rumors & News Satire | 01:19–12:17| | John Oliver Joins/10th Anniversary Chat | 15:52–17:37| | Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Segment | 17:39–21:31| | Royal Weddings vs. Celebrity Weddings | 24:26–25:39| | Shoplifting Confession & Curly Wurly | 26:47–28:14| | Raising American-British Children | 28:57–31:17| | Minor League Baseball & Civic Eccentricity | 31:17–34:27|
Notable Quotes Summary
- “These women are human hand grenades who willfully pull their own and each other's pins out for your entertainment.”—John Oliver on RHOSLC (18:23)
- “To love minor league baseball is to love something that people aren’t really watching. And is it right. That’s a real joy.”—John Oliver (32:25)
- “British children he could beat, because they’d look at that toilet and say, ‘I’ve already lost.’”—John Oliver (34:18)
Episode Tone & Takeaways
- Lightning-fast satire and improvisation around absurd news headlines and American life
- Collegial, irreverent back-and-forth between Oliver and Colbert, including playful self-roasting and celebrity self-awareness
- Cultural comparison between American and British upbringings
- Celebration of eccentricity, pop culture, and the weirdness that makes both late night TV and minor league baseball uniquely fun
If you missed the episode, this summary captures all the sharp wit, surprising stories, and the enduring appeal of John Oliver and Stephen Colbert’s comedic partnership.