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Stephen Colbert (4:34)

You know, new wallpaper. For months, the US has been threatening Venezuela. So why suddenly decide to snatch their president in what appears to be a violation of United States and international law? Well, in an international military conflict of this kind, there are many factors to consider. But reportedly, the last straw was Maduro's regular public dancing. O, That's a new one. Let's take a look at the booty shake that launched a thousand ships. Okay, let this be a warning to every uncle at a wedding. Delta Force will take you out. This isn't the first time the US has taken military action because of bad dancing. We all remember this dark day. Target locked. All. All six flags flew at half staff. But before Trump addressed the American people about the strike, he informed the nation's highest constitutional officers, Fox and Friends weekend. Yvonne, if you would have seen what happened. I mean, I watched it literally like I was watching a television show. And if you would have seen the speed, the violence. You know, they say that the speed, the violence. Yes, the speed and the violence. Which is what your mom says when she can't remember. The Fast and the Furious. Yes, we watched that movie, Bill, didn't we? We watched the movie you wanted us to watch, kids. We watched that movie, the speed and the violence last night. Then we watched Hobbs and Shawshank starring what's his name, Dwayne the Rod John. We have a photo of Trump watching the action go down in a Mar a Lago ballroom. Apparently, they threw up some pipe and drape because they were sharing the space with caterers for the Myerson wedding. I want to point out. I want to point that on the screen in the background of that photo is a Twitter search for Venezuela. That's how they were. They just were searching Twitter. But of course, that's not a surprise. Conveying the realities of war has always been best achieved on social media. As Oppenheimer famously said, I have become death link in bio. All that action. All that action. The overnight boom booms must have been a lot for ol Puddin pants, because when Trump finally held a press conference to announce the strikes, he took a little snooze behind General Dan Kaine. But clearly Trump's healthy as a horse because they also sleep standing up. So now. Now, really? That's the one. That's the one. So now that the president of Venezuela has been renditioned to the Gowanus Expressway, everyone's got one question. Who will run Venezuela? Who will run the country? So who is going to run Venezuela? Well, we still don't know for sure, but chances are it's going to come down to either Paramount or netfl. Lot of money on the line. Lot of money on the line. I'm happy with either one. I got no dog in this fight. Of course, Trump has his plan. We're going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper and judicious transition. Oh, so this country and Venezuela. Evidently, when he says America first, he means alphabetically. That's crazy. He can't run two countries at once. He can't even run. Many had thought. Many had thought the country would now be led by opposition leader and Nobel Prize winner Maria Karina Machado. But Trump refused to back Machado, which sources close to the White House said stemmed from her decision to accept the Nobel Peace Prize, claiming that if turned it down and said, I can't accept it because it's Donald Trump's, she'd be the president of Venezuela today. But don't worry. No, no, no. Do not worry, Ms. Machado. You can fix this simply by promising to change the name of the country to the Donald J. Trump Memorial. Venezuela and Gift shop. Where was I? Okay, Right now, the leader of Venezuela is Delsey Rodriguez, who is Maduro's vice president. So technically, it's not change its regime. Same. We have arrested Skeletor and appointed the new leader of Eternia, Mrs. Skeletor. Still Skeletor stuff. It's still Skeletor stuff, but now it's a lady. Skull's got lipstick right here. Little bow. Now, Rodriguez may be in charge, but only as long as she does what the US Wants. Because on Sunday, President Trump said if she doesn't do what's right, she's going to pay a very big price. Probably bigger than Maduro. Maduro is in a hellhole in Brooklyn. What's worse than that is he going to send her to Staten Island? So Trump has made it clear if his puppet doesn't do what he wants, he'll install a new puppet. So what's he want? We're going to take back the oil we'll be selling. Oil, oil, oil, oil, oil. They stole our oil. Wow, that was really poor planning for someone to put our oil under Venezuela. That's so inconvenient. For the record, the whole stole our oil thing he's referring to is Venezuela nationalizing its domestic oil industry, pushing out American companies like ExxonMobil in 1976. Thank you, Donald Trump. What other wrongs of the Gerald Ford administration will you finally make right? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to announce we have launched a second strike on the Fonz. God bless the usa. This is. Thank you. That's me doing Trump doing Winkler. This is so much about the oil that even though the administration did not brief Congress on the strikes, Trump spoke to oil companies before taking action in Venezuela. But that's not. It makes sense. That's why the founders established three co equal branches of government. Executive, judicial and glug glug. Sweet dinosaur juice. And to be clear, I can understand why he's so interested. Because Venezuela has got a. The country is home to the world's largest oil reserves, second only to a single slice of Pizza Hut. They're going to have to lay a napkin over the whole country now. Invading a country with a Mustachio dictator and saying don't worry, their oil will pay for this war is kind of where I got on this train 20 plus years ago. It didn't work then and I doubt it's going to work now. And I hope the American people don't fall for this a second time. Never forget these wise words. Fool me once. Shame on. Shame on you it fooled me. We can't get fooled again. I miss you. We got a great show for you tonight.

Julia Yaffe (12:58)

More Late show pod show after this.

Stephen Colbert (13:05)

Reggie, I just sold my car online. Let's go, Grandpa. Wait, you did? Yep, on Carvana. Just put in the license plate, answered a few questions, got an offer in minutes. Easier than setting up that new digital picture frame. You don't say. Yeah, they're even picking it up tomorrow. Talk about fast.

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Wow.

Stephen Colbert (13:22)

Way to go. So about that picture frame. Ah, forget about it. Until Carvana makes one, I'm not interested.

Commercial Announcer (13:29)

Car selling made easy on Carvana.

Stephen Colbert (13:33)

Pick up.

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Stephen Colbert (14:47)

Hey, welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. My next guest is a Washington correspondent for Puck News and one of the country's leading Experts on Russia, U.S. relations. Please welcome back to THE LATE SHOW, Julia Yaffe. Okay, let's you, you understand the international stuff better than most people. Certainly better than I do. The Trump administration arrested the president of Venezuela without giving a heads up to Congress and announced the US Will, quote, run the country. Have any of your sources offered clarity on what running the country means? And that's my question.

Julia Yaffe (15:35)

Well, he did notify the oil companies, so I think we're good.

Stephen Colbert (15:38)

Sure.

Julia Yaffe (15:39)

As you explained.

Stephen Colbert (15:39)

Right. He's got his backing. He's got his backing. Yeah. I mean, we would have to have like 100,000 troops on the ground there if it's anything like trying to run Iraq.

Julia Yaffe (15:48)

Well, I don't think that's what's happening, at least as of yet. It sounds like they're just going to threaten Delsey Rodriguez, who was Maduro's vice president, is now president, into doing what Trump wants, which seems to be, I mean, I'm guessing here, which seems to be allowing American oil companies back into Venezuela to suck delicious oil.

Stephen Colbert (16:13)

Exactly.

Commercial Announcer (16:14)

Right.

Julia Yaffe (16:14)

Otherwise they threatened to kill her.

Stephen Colbert (16:17)

Yeah, right.

Julia Yaffe (16:18)

I mean, so that's running the country.

Stephen Colbert (16:19)

Far be it from me to give any advice to the commander in chief. But remember, you're there to extract freedom. You're drilling for opportunity for all people there. And when you install a puppet, don't say that she's your puppet. And if she doesn't do what you're saying, we'll get a New puppet because people don't want to be ruled by puppets. It's so strangely bald faced. On behalf of the President. Does any of that surprise you?

Julia Yaffe (16:45)

He has great hair, though. I'm just kidding. Look, I think this has been Trump's thing the whole time, right? Which is that everybody does this. Everybody lies except me. I'm just telling it to you straight. And I think, I think for some people around the world, it has been. This has been the modus operandi for the US all along. Right. We've backed regime change and coups all over the world, in Iran, all over Latin America. Right. But we say that it's for democracy and we go to spread democracy in Iraq in 2003, when everybody around the world is like, no, you're not, you're going for oil. And now the American President says, no, we're not. We're going for oil. And so I wonder.

Stephen Colbert (17:31)

So it's refreshing in its corruption.

Julia Yaffe (17:32)

Yeah, yeah.

Stephen Colbert (17:35)

Okay.

Julia Yaffe (17:35)

Just swish it around your mouth a little bit and it feels nice.

Stephen Colbert (17:39)

So the oil.

Julia Yaffe (17:42)

The corruption.

Stephen Colbert (17:43)

The corruption, exactly. Now, Fiona Hill, in her testimony before the Congress and the Trump impeachment, the first one, the og, she testified this is having to do with Ukraine. She testified that there was some sort of backroom deal floated from Putin to Trump, saying, hey, we'll kind of withdraw from Venezuela if you guys stop your support from Ukraine. You get what you want. You know, we get what we want. And we're each, you know, regional zones of interest. We're great powers with zones of interest. Do you think there's anything to that?

Julia Yaffe (18:18)

There wasn't actually a deal offered. It was just that the Russians were dropping very thick crumbs, very fat crumbs of hints for the Trump administration, saying, hey, this is in our backyard. This is in your backyard. You care about Venezuela because it's in your backyard. That's kind of like Ukraine is to us. So why don't you stay out of Ukraine and we'll stay out of Venezuela? We can kind of.

Stephen Colbert (18:41)

That's a quid, remember?

Julia Yaffe (18:42)

A quid pro quo, if you want to.

Stephen Colbert (18:44)

I do remember the quid pro quo. I took a little high school Latin. Yeah, but isn't that a deal itself?

Julia Yaffe (18:49)

No. Well, because the people doing foreign policy for Trump 1.0, like Fiona Hill, like John Bolton, who loves regime change, and he at one point recently told me, you know, I kept trying to get him to do regime change and he just wouldn't go for it. So they were like, we're not going to make this Linkage. We're not going to make this connection. And nothing came of it. But according to Fiona, she thinks this is now back in the air. And Medvedev, the former Russian president who was once a liberal, is dropping these hints again. Like, let's do a little swap.

Stephen Colbert (19:23)

Donnie, we have to take a little break here. We'll be right back with Julia Yaffe, everybody. Well, the holidays have come and gone once again, but if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch limited time.

Julia Yaffe (19:54)

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Stephen Colbert (19:56)

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Stephen Colbert (20:09)

We're back with Julia Yaffe, everybody. Trump hinted similar actions for Colombia, Cuba, Mexico and Greenland. Rubio in a little press conference on Saturday said, quote, when the president speaks, you should take him seriously. So taking him seriously, what could happen next?

Julia Yaffe (20:26)

Well, I think Rubio's right. All of Washington during Trump once said, take him seriously, not literally. And look where that got us. Trump tends to do what he says he's going to do. He's not super mysterious. He wanted a Muslim ban, he instituted a Muslim ban. He said mass deportations. We got mass deportations. He said he was going to get Maduro out. He got Maduro out. And so when he says that he's going to go after Greenland, that he's going to maybe go after Cuba, he's going to go after Colombia, why wouldn't we believe him?

Stephen Colbert (20:56)

Cause it's crazy, right? And so I know it's just that we hold onto a scrap of our sanity and it's very hard to wander into the demented fields where he wanders sometimes, that is.

Julia Yaffe (21:11)

But those fields are our lives now. He's our president and he's doing this stuff in our names and we might as well take him seriously and be prepared.

Stephen Colbert (21:20)

But he also said, seriously, no more wars. I won't invade other countries. He said that, too. So why can't we take that seriously?

Julia Yaffe (21:27)

Okay, to be fair, he hasn't actually started wars though, right? None of these things have resulted in wars. If you're going to be.

Stephen Colbert (21:35)

And technically, Congress did not declare war. This is in Cooperation with the Justice Department. Right. So it's a police action like Korea.

Julia Yaffe (21:44)

Right. And I mean, you could argue, and they are arguing that he does these strikes on Iran, on Somalia, on Yemen. He's done more strikes in less than a year than Biden did in all four years combined. But none of them have resulted in protracted military action in war. Right. So he can technically argue he has not started any wars. And I think for him, Venezuela is further proof of concept that he can just strike at places that don't have big armies like Cuba or Greenland, and it won't start a war. And he gets what he wants, and there's no pushback from Congress and certainly not from the oil companies. And so here we are. It hasn't even been a year. Stephen.

Stephen Colbert (22:31)

You seem like you're on board with all this.

Julia Yaffe (22:33)

Oh, God, no.

Stephen Colbert (22:34)

Oh, God, no, no, no. That's how we're gonna edit it, though, I guess.

Julia Yaffe (22:40)

I've had a nice life.

Stephen Colbert (22:42)

That's it.

Julia Yaffe (22:42)

I've had a nice life.

Stephen Colbert (22:43)

Okay, so, okay, you have a new book. You have a new book called Motherland. What's it about?

Julia Yaffe (22:51)

It's about Soviet and Russian women, and it's about Russian history and Soviet history told from the perspective of women. I pitched this book in early 2018 because after spending all of 2017 talking about Trump and Putin, I was so sick of talking about those two men, and I never wanted to talk about them again. And here we are.

Stephen Colbert (23:16)

The thing is, I remember seeing, like, Soviet posters basically saying, in the west, women aren't allowed to do anything. There was a very forward looking feminist agenda to the communist enterprise.

Julia Yaffe (23:28)

So I think a lot of people forget, including Russians, that Russia and the Soviet Union were the vanguard of world feminism. Russian women had the right to vote in 1917. Largely irrelevant. Very quickly in 1918, they got access to free higher education, paid maternity leave, child support, even for men who weren't their legally married husbands. And they had to start paying it when the woman was still pregnant. Let's see, they got no fault. Civil divorce. They no longer needed their husband's permission for anything. In 1920, women got the right to abortion in the Soviet Union. In World War II, over 800,000 women, most of them teenage girls, fought in active combat. Pete Hegseth, I'm looking at you. You know, they had all female squadrons of fighter pilots. The best snipers in the Soviet Union were women.

Stephen Colbert (24:17)

And was that sustained or did that go away?

Julia Yaffe (24:20)

It went away.

Stephen Colbert (24:21)

Why did it go away?

Julia Yaffe (24:22)

Because men.

Stephen Colbert (24:25)

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Julia.

Commercial Announcer (24:28)

Not you.

Stephen Colbert (24:29)

Well, men. Men. We're all the same. We're all the same.

Julia Yaffe (24:33)

No, but because, look, some men, like Vladimir Lenin and the female revolutionaries that put these ideas into action in the early days were on board. But mostly the men in the Bolshevik party were not on board. They thought these ideas were crazy, that it wasn't worth their while or their resources to think about these unserious things because serious things are guns and factories and things shaped like penises. And how women have more citizens, that is children, is not really important. It's not serious stuff. And they just didn't want to dedicate the resources to it. They thought it smelled of bourgeois feminism, which is kind of splitterism. You don't want that. And then came Stalin, who was really not on board with this. He was quite conservative, quite parochial and patriarchal.

Stephen Colbert (25:33)

Man of steel.

Julia Yaffe (25:33)

Man of steel. And that continued, that said, women were required to work in 1918 and 1920. And so all this did for women. Excuse me, all this did for women in the end was that it just added more stuff to their plate. So in addition to being mothers, in addition to being full time homemakers and housekeepers in houses where they didn't have dishwashers, refrigerators, vacuum cleaners, washing machines, people did their laundry by. Not people. Women did their laundry by boiling their clothes in sheets and pots on the stove, often in communal apartments. And they had to work full time. Oh, and there was no food in the stores or clothes in the stores, so you had to. My grandmother, for example, my paternal grandmother was a chemical engineer. She ran the lab in the water filtration plant that supplied drinking water to parts of Moscow as well as the Kremlin. She had about a dozen people working for her, and they installed a phone in their apartment so she'd be called in case of emergencies because she was that important. But during her lunch break, she would go into the forest and forage for mushrooms to supply, to kind of supplement what she couldn't get in stores. She had to make clothes for her husband and children and darn the clothes she had already made, because you couldn't just go and get a new pair of socks for your kids.

Stephen Colbert (26:56)

Did you know her?

Julia Yaffe (26:57)

I did, I did. She died almost a year ago at the age of 96. Wow. Yeah, wow.

Stephen Colbert (27:02)

What do you take from her story?

Julia Yaffe (27:07)

That being a woman is really hard. And it's especially. It was especially hard for her. Her life was very, very hard. She survived the famine in Ukraine. She survived the Holocaust and World War II. She outlived the Soviet Union. But what I take from her is that you can still have a love of life, you can still love your family, and you can have a very hard life, but you still go through it with a lot more grace than the men do.

Stephen Colbert (27:42)

Again, I'm so sorry.

Julia Yaffe (27:44)

You're great.

Stephen Colbert (27:47)

Her book Motherland is available now. Julia Yaffi, everybody. Thank you for listening to the late show pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives.

Julia Yaffe (28:05)

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Stephen Colbert (28:29)

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