Transcript
A (0:00)
Know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt, just glory. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios or the smooth instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. Wonderful Pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now there's an obsession with jalapeno lime. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. Crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Snack like you mean it with Wonderful Pistachios. Visit Wonderful Pistachios do come to learn more.
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Abercrombie Kids knows how to make outfitting easy. Mix and match sets are their ultimate outfit hack for fall. Their sweatshirts and sweatpants are super cozy and they always have the cutest colors and patterns. Shop Fall's easiest outfit at Abercrombie Kids.
A (1:18)
In the app, online and in stores. Welcome, welcome, friends, Romans, countrymen, to the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, as I speak, as I speak, we are on day two of the government shutdown. There's no end in sight. Services are closed. Federal workers are going without pay. Things are so rough. Uncle Sam is already selling feet pics. Those little piggies now. Pretty good. Yeah. Give him a 4.3 on WikiFeet. Donald Trump, of course, has tried every possible option to end the shutdown. He's blamed Democrats not only, not only, but also not only is Trump not trying to negotiate an end to the shutdown, he's now using it as a way to squash things he doesn't like. Touting his shutdown as an unprecedented opportunity to cut more democratic priorities. Yes. Yeah. No, it's not a shutdown. It's a shutportunity. You know what they say. When God closes a food inspection program, he opens a listeria outbreak. Or words to that effect. Or words to that effect la Scaria outbreak. Now, this isn't the first government shutdown. This has happened many times before. Even since we've been doing this show. There's a process that you Follow. When a shutdown starts, people are what's called furloughed. Okay? They don't come to work, they're not paid. But when the shutdown's over, everyone gets their job back, often with back pay. But now Trump is threatening to use this excuse to fire a whole bunch more people from the federal government posting. Republicans must use this opportunity of Democrat free forced closure to clear out deadwood. And I'm told. Is this true? I'm told we have a response from the deadwood. Morning. Best time of day to go yourself. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Best part of waking up is in your cup. Keep in mind, my friends, Republicans control all three branches of government, including both chambers of Congress. But somehow, somehow, none of this is their fault.
