'So You Think You Ameri-Can' | Felipe Torres Medina

Summary

Podcast Summary: "So You Think You Ameri-Can" | Felipe Torres Medina

The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert
Date: November 8, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this witty and satirical episode, Stephen Colbert explores the quirks and challenges of the US citizenship test. The highlight is a playful segment featuring Felipe Torres Medina—a Colombian-born writer for the show who recently became an American citizen. Through comedic banter and a mock game show titled "So You Think You Ameri-Can," the episode examines what it truly means to be American, pokes fun at national customs, and spotlights both the complexity and absurdity of the citizenship process.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Immigrants and American Identity

• Stephen opens the show with a comic ode to immigrants, naming not only actual people but also fictional characters ("the Geico gecko. He's British. You can tell because he can lick his own eyeball.”—[04:07]).
• Colbert highlights the difficulty of being an immigrant, especially in light of recent changes to the citizenship test by referencing political developments.
• He delivers a tongue-in-cheek warning:

  "Right now being an immigrant is, how do you say, mucho hardo. And it just got hardoer because Trump is making the U.S. citizenship test longer and more difficult."
  (Stephen Colbert, [04:13])

2. Satire of Citizenship Test Reforms

• Colbert mocks the logic behind making the test harder:

  “Al Qaeda could easily memorize 100 questions. But you know what they could never do? 28 more questions.”
  (Stephen Colbert, [05:25])

• He lampoons the new requirements and the American inclination for grandstanding.

3. Felipe Torres Medina’s Personal Journey

• Felipe is introduced as both a writer for the show and the author of a new book on his immigration journey, "America. Let me in."
• The tone is celebratory, with friendly ribbing:

  "Now you are an American citizen and you can no longer take days off work claiming they are a Colombian holiday. The feast of Saint Shakira is a real thing."
  (Stephen Colbert, [05:57])

4. "So You Think You Ameri-Can"—The Mock Game Show

• Felipe participates in a rapid-fire, joke-filled faux quiz to test his “American-ness.”

• Sample Q&A Highlights:

  • Q: "What is the supreme law of the land?"
    A: "The Constitution."
    Stephen: "I'm afraid the answer is fries for the table."
    (Felipe & Stephen, [06:28])
  • Q: "Who is the father of our country?"
    Felipe: "George Washington."
    Stephen: "Correct. We would also have accepted Pedro Pascal, who is the zaddy of our country."
    (Stephen, [06:36])
  • Q: "What species is the Philadelphia Flyers mascot?"
    Felipe: "Gritty? … All of them."
    Stephen: "Correct."
    (06:43)
  • Q: "Who is the Swedish ambassador to America?"
    Felipe: "Urban Allen."
    Stephen: "That is the correct answer, but you lose the point because an American would not know that."
    (06:48)

• Conclusion of the Game:

  • Felipe wins, proving his “American-ness.”
  • He receives a highly patriotic, tongue-in-cheek T-shirt ("George Washington riding a bald eagle and saying, ‘what the is a kilometer?’").
  • Quote:

    "And with a score of 3 to 2. You did it, Felipe. You are truly an American citizen."
    (Stephen Colbert, [07:38])

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “I for one don’t think a bunch of nerdy civics trivia truly prepares you to live in modern America. So we here at The Late Show have created a new fully Americanized test. And because it’s all American, a TV game show.”
  — Stephen Colbert ([06:06])

• "The feast of Saint Shakira is a real thing."
  — Stephen Colbert ([05:57])

• "What is the supreme law of the land?... I'm afraid the answer is fries for the table."
  — Stephen Colbert ([06:28])

---

Important Timestamps

• 04:00 – Stephen introduces the episode’s main topic: immigration and the citizenship test
• 05:57 – Introduction of Felipe Torres Medina and discussion of his background
• 06:06 – Launch of the "So You Think You Ameri-Can" mock game show
• 06:28–07:38 – Game show questions and comedic answers
• 07:38 – Felipe is crowned “truly an American citizen”

---

Tone and Style

The episode maintains Stephen Colbert’s signature blend of sharp satire, playful banter, and warm camaraderie. The humor is quick and often self-referential, with both Colbert and Felipe frequently skewering American customs and bureaucracy while celebrating the journey of new Americans.

---

Quick Recap

• Theme: American identity and the citizenship process—satirized and celebrated
• Highlights: Mock citizenship game show, comic riffs on US trivia, a heartfelt yet hilarious welcome to a new citizen
• Tone: Light, clever, and irreverently patriotic

---

For listeners who missed the episode, this summary offers a well-rounded glimpse into the humor, heart, and critique that defined this installment of The Late Show Pod Show.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[B]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[A]

Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[B]

We can't disparage the nuts.

[A]

You. I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.

[B]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[A]

I'm not. I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios.

[B]

I love.

[A]

I love crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter? Who cares?

[B]

Very good.

[A]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[B]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious. I get them.

[A]

I didn't even know I get them.

[B]

Before the softball games.

[A]

But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered. Right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike. And then it's important that you do, because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause. Snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[B]

That was a wonderful.

[A]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.

[B]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[A]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Bring it on.

[B]

Nothing bad to say.

[A]

Nut me, nut, nut me with nut meat.

[B]

We're nut.

[A]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty. Good.

[B]

Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save, and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Try Greenlight risk free. [e-mail] Odyssey, it's the late Show Poncho with Stephen Colbert.

[A]

Folks, I love immigrants. There's some of my favorite Americans, like Chef Jose Andres, Natalie Portman, Superman, the Geico gecko. He's British. You can tell because he can lick his own eyeball. I've seen Rick or Gervais do it many times. Right now being an immigrant is, how do you say, mucho hardo. And it just got hardoer because Trump is making the U.S. citizenship test longer and more difficult. Question one. Will you be my fourth wife? No. Well, then, have fun. In El Salvador. According to the new head of the United States Customs and Immigration Enforcement, in the previous test, immigrants could just kind of memorize the answers, which is too easy. Yes. Immigrants, show your work. We need to see how you divided the Statue of Liberty to get the square root of Abraham Lincoln. Previously, it was an oral test where participants would need to correctly answer 6 of 10 questions from a bank of 100 questions. But now they've changed it to correctly answering 12 out of 20 questions from a bank of 128 questions. A foolproof plan. Yes. Al Qaeda could easily memorize 100 questions. But you know what they could never do? 28 more questions. Now, I've never taken the test myself, but I know someone who has. Last month, my Colombian born writer for Felipe Torres Medina took it and became a US citizen. So please welcome my new American writer, Felipe Torres Medina. Thank you very much, Felipe. Secret American handshake. Good to see you. Hola, Steve. Hola, Felipe. Felipe, you are the author of the book America. Let me in about your journey to citizenship. Now you are an American citizen and you can no longer take days off work claiming they are a Colombian holiday. Okay. The feast of Saint Shakira is a real thing. Yes. I for one don't think a bunch of nerdy civics trivia truly prepares you to live in modern America. So we here at the Late show have created a new fully Americanized test. And because it's all American, a TV game show. Are you ready to play? So you think you American? Welcome to so youo Think youk American. Tonight's contestant is Felipe, who will have to answer these American questions before his time runs out. Felipe, are you ready? Let's do it, Steve. Brave man. 60 seconds on the clock, please. Here we go. What is the supreme law of the land? Uh, the Constitution. I'm afraid the answer is fries for the table. Darn it. I am. Who are you? The father of our country. George Washington. Correct. We would also have accepted Pedro Pascal, who is. Who is the zaddy of our country? What species is the Philadelphia Flyers mascot? Gritty? Uh, all of them. Correct. Okay, foreign policy question. Who is the Swedish ambassador to America? Urban Allen. That is the correct answer, but you lose the point because an American would not know that.

[B]

Name.

[A]

Two federal holidays. Two federal holidays. Juneteenth and Toyota Thong. Correct. Yes. And strong. And with a score of 3 to 2. You did it, Felipe. You are truly an American citizen. And to prove it, and to prove it, we'd like to give you the most American T shirt possible with George Washington riding a bald eagle and saying, what the is a kilometer? Congratulations and enjoy the go. Thank you, new American Felipe Torres Medina, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. You think you understand how this business works, but you don't. Landman TV's biggest phenomenon returns to Paramount. Plus from Taylor Sheridan, co creator of Yellowstone, starring Billy Bob Thornton. You have to know the rules of the game and bend them and you really have to know them to break Demi Moore. I want success. Get it for me. Andy Garcia, Ali Larder, and Sam Elliott. You don't even know the game you're playing, do you? Landman new season streaming November 16th only on Paramount Plus. Now streaming on Paramount Plus. Brandon was the full package. I felt like I met my guy. Just stop, stop, stop talking.

[B]

God.

[A]

But he's not even close to the person that I thought he was. Do break up with Brandon. That is when stalking begins. I just knew something horrific was about to happen. I saw the devil in his eyes. We're going to tell everyone what he did. Don't date Brandon. Now streaming on Paramount plus.