Ted Danson | File N' Out

Summary

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The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert

Episode: Ted Danson | File N' Out
Date: November 19, 2025
Guest: Ted Danson

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Late Show Pod Show delivers Stephen Colbert's signature brand of topical comedy with a monologue skewering the news of the day—most notably, the Congressional moves to release the Epstein files, Trump’s latest antics, and international headlines. The main event is a delightful, wide-ranging interview with Emmy-winning actor and activist Ted Danson, covering his latest show, reflections on comedy and aging, life lessons, activism, and podcasting with Woody Harrelson. The interplay is warm, insightful, and peppered with laughs and sincerity.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Monologue: The Epstein Files and Washington News

[03:57–14:09]

• Congress Votes to Release the Epstein Files:
  Colbert jokes about the bipartisan vote (427-1) to release Jeffrey Epstein's files, poking fun at the mysterious lone dissenter and the bill's legislative hurdles.

  • “That is the reaction of people who are not in the files. I’m guessing.” [04:19]
  • “To get by the troll, you have to answer his riddle: What walks on two cankles in the morning, rides a golf cart in the afternoon and is totally in the Epstein files?” [05:02]

• Implications for Trump:
  Colbert frames the release as a major loss for Trump, lampooning the former President's shift to supporting transparency.

  • “Republicans support maximum transparency. We always have.” [06:41]
  • “He’ll always sign right on the dotted pube.” [07:23]

• Trump’s Raspy Voice Explanation:
  In a comedic faux Q&A, Colbert riffed on Trump’s admitted shouting and the phrase “I blew my stack,” earning a classic double entendre.

  • “Sir, if you want us to stop talking about Epstein emails, I wouldn’t use the phrase I blew anything.” [08:07]

• Khashoggi, MBS Visit, and McDonald’s:
  Jokes pivot to Trump’s White House hosting of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, referencing Khashoggi’s murder and America’s ingrained freedom of the press.

  • “How dare you embarrass our guest. Now he’s going to feel all self conscious when he tries to chop up somebody like you.” [10:49]

  Colbert goes on to lampoon Trump’s love of McDonald’s:

  • “I love you guys. Because of McDonald’s—they never ask me about Jeffrey Epstein.” [11:48]
  • Parodies Trump’s affection with a McDonald’s-themed song:
    “Old McDonald’s makes me food / Burger shakes and fries...” [14:39]

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2. Interview: Ted Danson

[16:53–30:04]

Early Success and Comedy Roots

• Childhood Definition of Success:
  • “Here’s when I know my life is working: clean underwear and socks that match.” [18:41–18:54]
• Physical Comedy and Aging:
  • At 77, Danson reflects on what’s funny to him now, favoring physical comedy and noting his run has become “more of a scurry that’s close to the ground, in case I fall, it won’t hurt so much.” [19:46]

On ‘A Man on the Inside’

• Danson describes his Netflix show, inspired by a true story in Chile, about an 82-year-old man going undercover in a retirement home.
  • “It was so sweet, so gently funny and full of heart and dealt with some of the hard stuff with aging.” [21:02]
• Season two moves to a liberal arts college setting that, per Danson and Colbert, fits the current social climate.
  • “Mike Schur is really good at finding things in society or knowing that they’re coming…liberal arts colleges are kind of under attack nowadays.” [21:39]

Working with Wife Mary Steenburgen

• The roles allow Danson and Steenburgen, who are married, to act out falling in love again.
  • “I can throw myself into it because there’s no guilt… With Mary, she loves me, I love her.” [23:29]
  • “With a stranger, it’s like, oh, this is wrong. Or is it nice? No, no, it’s wrong. It’s wrong.” [23:43]
• Colbert riffs: “I’m like—I’m falling right into those baby blues right there. I feel like Diane, but with Mary.” [23:01]

On Activism and Upbringing

• Danson recounts the influence of his archaeologist father and the ethic of stewardship:
  • “This life…is not just about you. It’s about the stewardship of what you’ve been given. And that kind of soaked in.” [26:29]
• First Arrest with Jane Fonda:
  • “That’s called the champagne of arrests. I have a kind of a bad shoulder…so I asked, can you cuff me in the front?” [27:22]

Early Acts of Rebellion

• Admits to cutting down billboards (except his father’s museum sign) as youthful protest:
  • “We cut down every sign except a sign for my father’s museum. Boy, he kicked our butts.” [28:21–28:37]

Podcast with Woody Harrelson

• Hosting “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” with Woody:
  • “Literally everything we tried to do to beat Woody at anything, he kicked our butts.” [29:01]
  • Discusses guests like Carol Burnett and Dick Van Dyke: “He was my hero…My first TV was at Stanford and I turned it on at 11 o’clock and there was Dick Van Dyke tripping over the ottoman.” [29:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Colbert (on Congress’ Epstein files vote):
  “To get by the troll, you have to answer his riddle: What walks on two cankles in the morning, rides a golf cart in the afternoon and is totally in the Epstein files?” [05:02]

• Ted Danson (on success):
  “Here’s when I know my life is working: clean underwear and socks that match.” [18:41]

• Colbert (on Danson’s running):
  “Is Donald Trump getting the fish out of the Coke freestyle machine? I got Dr. Pepper, a splash of Sprite, and ooh, Skrad.” [13:28]

• Danson (on aging and physical comedy):
  “My run has become funny. It’s more of a scurry that’s close to the ground, in case I fall, it won’t hurt so much.” [19:46]

• Danson (on acting with his wife):
  “With Mary, she loves me, I love her. And I can throw myself into it because there’s no guilt…because if it’s a stranger…this is wrong.” [23:29–23:43]

• Danson (on his father’s lesson):
  “This life…is not just about you. It’s about the stewardship of what you’ve been given.” [26:29]

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Important Timestamps

• 03:57 – Monologue begins: Epstein files, Congress, Trump jabs
• 13:07 – Trump brags about feeding McDonald’s to MAGA allies
• 16:53 – Ted Danson introduction and start of interview
• 18:41 – Danson defines early success (“clean underwear and socks that match”)
• 19:46 – On finding physical comedy at 77
• 21:02 – Description of “A Man on the Inside”
• 22:30 – On falling in love again (onscreen and off) with Mary Steenburgen
• 25:23 – Colbert asks Danson about activism and humanitarian roots
• 27:22 – “Champagne of arrests” (Jane Fonda, climate protest)
• 28:21 – Youthful billboard rebellion
• 28:44 – Danson describes podcast with Woody Harrelson
• 29:46 – Dick Van Dyke as a comedy inspiration

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Lively, quick-witted, and occasionally irreverent.
• The Colbert-Danson rapport is warm, open, and full of gentle jibes and stories.
• The podcast moves seamlessly from political satire to earnest conversation about family, legacy, love, and laughter.

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In Summary

This episode shines as a textbook example of why Stephen Colbert’s Late Show remains a staple for smart comedy and nuanced celebrity conversation. From lampooning political absurdity and newsmakers to exploring what it means to age, love, serve, and stay funny, Ted Danson’s segment is especially rich with heart and wisdom.

For newcomers or longtime fans, this episode is a satisfying blend of sharp political observation and uplifting personal storytelling.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody. Stephen Colbert here about to read the copy for our sponsor. This is from our friends at Wonderful Pistachios. And I was the wonderful pistachio spokesman for years. Yeah, I have a real close association with nut meat. Okay. You know what they say when they reach for a snack? Don't hold back. And that's exactly the approach with Wonderful Pistachios. The don't hold back snack. These little wonders are so tasty, it feels like getting away with something. But surprise. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. That's right. No guilt. Just glory, glory in our nuts. Whether it's a satisfying crack of in shell pistachios, and that's capitalized in shell, or the smooth, instant gratification of no shells. No judgment. That's just it. Just eat. No judgment. I take issue with one thing. It's instant gratification. It's super tasty smooth.

[B]

It's a hard nut smooth.

[A]

Exactly. I mean, even out of the shell, it's still a nut.

[B]

We can't disparage the nuts. You.

[A]

I'm not disparaging the nut. I'm describing the nut.

[B]

Don't disparage any flavors.

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

I am celebrating the pistachio right now. I'm on board. I love pistachios. I love a crushed pistachio. Like a pistachio crusted trout. Oh, unbelievable. Instead of a trout amandine, a trout pistachio. Fantastic. Enough butter?

[C]

Who cares?

[B]

Very good.

[A]

And I love pistachio ice cream.

[B]

Have you had the sea salt and vinegar? Wonderful pistachio. It's delicious.

[A]

I didn't even know I get them.

[B]

Before the softball games.

[A]

But that's. You see, it's been a while since I've been the spokesman for wonderful Pistachios. I didn't realize we'd achieved new pistachio technology.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Wonderful pistachios has every snack style covered right now. There's an obsession with jalapeno lime. There is an obsession session. It's almost a disorder. It's spicy, it's zesty. It's basically a flavor roller coaster in a nut. Snacking on the go. Grab a bag of no shells. Feeling contemplative and want to work for it a little. So earning it, they're saying, if you want to earn your nut, crack open those in shell beauties. Either way, it's snacking like a champ. So the next time hunger strikes, don't hold back. Unless it's a hunger strike, and then it's important that you do, because whatever you're doing that for, I'm sure it's a worthwhile cause snack like you mean it with wonderful pistachios. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

[B]

That was a wonderful.

[A]

I wonder what more there is to learn. We just told them so much. We just told them so much about pistachios. But evidently there's a whole other world. There's an unexplored vista.

[B]

They got a bunch of flavors. They got dill pickle, jalapeno lime, as we learned, smoky barbecue. There's a lot of different flavors.

[A]

Wow. And I would not disparage any of them.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Bring it on.

[B]

Nothing bad to say.

[A]

Nut me, nut. Nut me with nut meat.

[B]

We're nut.

[A]

No, we got nothing but nut. Nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty. Talk about, talk about, talk about, talk about nutty.

[D]

Good.

[B]

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[A]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome all to the late show. Wonderful to have you all here. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I feel good coming out here tonight. When it comes to Congress, increasingly rare that things happen. And today something did. This afternoon, the House voted to release the Epstein files. That is the reaction of people who are not in the files. I'm guessing. I'm guessing. In fact, it passed overwhelmingly. 427 to 1. Wow. Wait, wait, hold on.

[D]

Wait.

[A]

To 1, who is the one vote to keep them secret? Do we have a picture of the guy who voted against it? Wonder who that was. Who was I there? I don't know. Of course, the vote doesn't mean the Epstein files will be released right away. The bill now has to go to the Senate where it may be amended. And if it's passed there and amended, it would have to go back to the House where it has to cross over a river and under the bridge is a troll. And to get by the troll, you have to answer his riddle. What walks on two cankles in the morning, rides a golf cart in the afternoon and is totally in the Epstein files? Thank You. Then again, it might be way simpler than that, because as of this taping, this is still happening. As of this taping, since the vote was so huge and overwhelming in the House, the Senate may vote on the Epstein files tonight. So.

[D]

Soon.

[A]

Soon. I mean, tomorrow we might know everything he and his pervert buddies did. Meaning it's Epstein. Rock and Eve. Stay up. Stay up for a ball drop. You're going to want to miss.

[D]

This.

[A]

Yeah, I agree.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

This is a dramatic legislative turnaround and a huge loss for Trump. Make no mistake, for going on four months now, Trump and Speaker Mike Johnson fought the release of the Epstein files with every congressional tool they had. And keep in mind, Congress is loaded with some major tools. But when it looked like Republicans were defecting en masse and they were going to lose big, there were suddenly all in, like they always were. Right, Mike? Republicans support maximum transparency. We always have. The President of the United States supports maximum transparency. Yes, The President has always supported maximum transparency, a healthy diet of leafy greens, and the understated androgynous sensuality of a flat chested woman. The President would be here. He can't talk right now because he's jogging to Bible study. Put that over there. Maybe move the podium over there. Trump has clearly just given up the fight. Here's what he said at a press conference yesterday.

[C]

I'm for any. I don't care. They can do whatever they want. We'll give them everything. Sure, I would.

[A]

Yes. When it comes to anything to do with Epstein, he'll always sign right on the dotted pube. Now you might notice. You might notice.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

How are you doing? All right. You guys okay over there? Everybody okay over there?

[D]

All right.

[A]

Now you might notice that Trump's voice is a little raspy there. One of the reporters asked him about it.

[D]

The health of the President's always news. Your voice sounds a little rough.

[A]

Are you feeling all right?

[C]

I feel great. I was shouting at people because they were stupid about something having to do with trade and a country, and I straightened it out, but I blew my stack at these people.

[A]

Sir, I want to put this delicately, but if you want us to stop talking about the Epstein emails, I wouldn't use the phrase I blew anything. Trump also. Okay, I'm just trying to help. I'm just trying to help. Trump also talked about how he sicced the DOJ on Democrats who knew Epstein.

[C]

I believe that many of the people that we, some of the people that we mentioned are being looked at very seriously for their relationship to Jeffrey Epstein, but they were with him all the time. I wasn't. I wasn't at all.

[A]

No, he's right. He wasn't with Epstein all the time. Just this time and this time and this time, this time and this time, clearly. What are they going to do? They get rented the same bike. Clearly, all the Epstein talk is getting to Trump. This weekend, he lost it at a female reporter. Yeah, Jennifer, go ahead. Go ahead. Quiet, Quiet. That is disgusting. And I'm told we have a response.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yay.

[A]

Oh, today. Today was a big one at the White House because Trump got a visit from one of his dictator besties. Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, seen here after the photographer yelled, now do a silly one. Trump's been working overtime to make the prince feel at home, first by redecorating the Oval Office to look like the men's room in a Riyadh strip club. As a reminder, it's been seven years since MBS has been invited to the White House, possibly because months after his last visit, his agents killed and dismembered Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi in Istanbul. And a US Intelligence assessment determined that he had probably ordered it. And because this is America, our journalists are free to ask him about it. Your Royal Highness, the US Intelligence concluded that you orchestrated the brutal murder of a journalist.

[C]

You're mentioning somebody that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn't like that gentleman that you're talking about. Whether you like him or didn't like him, things happen. But he knew nothing about it, and we can leave it at that. You don't have to embarrass our guest by asking a question like that.

[A]

How dare you embarrass our guest. Now he's going to feel all self conscious when he tries to chop up somebody like you. Also, Jamal Khashoggi was only controversial to the crown prince. And even if he was controversial to everybody, that doesn't excuse murdering him. The new Cracker Barrel logo was controversial, but nobody chopped up the old guy in the logo and stuffed his body parts in the barrel, even though it's specifically a barrel for crackers.

[D]

It's been.

[A]

I got a couple. You guys got a couple. I got a couple thoughts. I got some thoughts. It's really. It's been. Oh, it's been such a tough couple of days for Trump, but yesterday he got to do something, you know, just for him.

[C]

I'm thrilled to be here with the men and the women who are really the heart and soul of one of the greatest, most admired and most successful companies in the history of the world, frankly. The one and only McDonald's.

[A]

I love you. The one and only. I love you guys. Because of McDonald's. They never ask me about Jeffrey Epstein. I think it's hard to understand what they're saying through that little drive in speaker. The event was the annual meeting of franchise owners that they call the McDonald's Impact Summit. It's the nation's second biggest corporate fast food conference. Right after Arby's. We have the meetings. Trump bragged. He bragged a bit, sure. Arby's, why not? Little horsey sauce goes a long way. Trump bragged about how he's been force feeding McDonald's to all of his MAGA buddies.

[C]

You fed us very well. And I even got Bobby Kennedy to eat a Big Mac. And he told me he loved it. He didn't want that publicized. He told me he loved it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. In fact, here's an actual picture of their McDonald's in flight meal. And you can see just how much Bobby loved it. Bobby's never really been a drive thru fan. He prefers drive over food. Now, Trump spoke for almost an hour. An hour. He spoke for almost an hour. And he shouted out his menu favorites.

[C]

No matter who you are, everyone loves something at McDonald's. There's always something to have. I like the fish. I like it.

[A]

I don't know what on earth was that sound? Is he. Is Donald Trump getting the fish out of the Coke freestyle machine? I got Dr. Pepper, a splash of Sprite, and ooh, Skrad. That wasn't the only noise that came out of his filet hole.

[C]

He's going like, sir, yeah. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, skedaddle. The word skedaddle, it's always blank, blank, blank, drip, drip water. We call it the drip drip. We're drip, drip, mean, mean, mean.

[A]

Could we get a round of MRIs for the table?

[D]

Three. I'll pay for it.

[A]

I'll pay for it. One, two, three, three. Trump continued his heartfelt MC praise while.

[C]

Other politicians fly around on campaign planes stocked with expensive catering on Trump Force One. Prior to ascending to Air Force One, we served only McDonald's almost every time.

[A]

Yes. In fact, I love McDonald's so much, I wrote you a little song. Old McDonald's makes me food Burger shakes and fries and on a plane I often lick ketchup off my ties With a lick lick here, a lick, lick there Here a lick, there a lick everywhere a lick, lick old McDonald's, I love you. Epstein killed Himself. We got a great show for you tonight.

[B]

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[A]

Welcome back to the show, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, Laid Back tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an Emmy winning actor and activist. You know best from Cheers, Curb youb Enthusiasm and the Good place he currently stars in A Man on the Inside.

[D]

Oh, hey.

[B]

I was just thinking about you.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Neat. Cause I was also thinking about you. Wanna grab some lunch?

[B]

That would be lovely.

[D]

Perfect. Let's do it. Let's get some lunch. Actually, I can't. Whoa. Getting real mixed signals here. I forgot I'm meeting a friend. Stupid friends. Stupid friends. They ruin everything. Just go have a lovely time with your friend and you know where to find me.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you for kissing me.

[A]

Please welcome Ted Danson. Nice. Nice to see you again.

[D]

Nice to see you too. Yeah. Emmy night or something.

[A]

Yeah, we ran into each other At a party at Chateau Marmont. That's how fancy we are.

[D]

It's very cool to meet you and.

[A]

Very cool to see you again to meet your wife. Oh, yeah. Evie's much cooler.

[D]

Rock and roll.

[A]

You have been so successful for so long. Look at all the shows that people have loved you in. Cheers, csi, Bored to Death, Curb youb Enthusiasm, the Good Place, and Now A Man on the Inside. I do like to ask about the early years of struggle, though, because especially when someone has been so long since the struggle. I'm just curious, what did success like making it? What was your standard when you knew, like, okay, I'm. Something's happening for me.

[D]

Here's what I. Here's when I know my life is working. Clean underwear and socks that match. Socks that match. Then I know.

[A]

Yeah. Were you just doing your laundry more frequently or were you buying fresh socks every so often?

[D]

I should have left clean underwear out of that. Just have gone with Matt's socks.

[A]

Always clean underwear, because that's. Clean underwear implies a much darker story from the earlier part of your life. Yeah, you have said that. You want to know what it's like to be funny at every age, that you want to just keep working for as long as you can. You are now 77 years old. What is double lucky? It's very sexy. It is very sexy. Well, it's very lucky. 70 years. Seven. Double. Double seven.

[D]

Did something. Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Wow. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's what I. That's why they gave me this job temporarily. Now I'm just curious what's funny about 77.

[D]

I. I love Pratt Falls and physical comedy. So anytime I can be physically funny. But I. Here's what has become funny. My. It's not that I'm trying either. My run has become funny. It's more of a scurry that's close to the ground. In case I fall, it won't hurt so much.

[A]

Now, is that because you're 77 or because you've been comedy running for so long that you can no longer remember what real running is like? Cause my wife Evie blames. She says when you go to run someplace fast, you do this thing at the beginning. That is no human does. I do this. I do this. She goes, we gotta go. I go, and then I run. And she goes, why do you do the thing first? She goes, no one. No one does that.

[D]

A couple of years ago, I started doing fake trips.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

So that I could do it. And then go. I'm just kidding. Now they've blended into real trips. But I can still go. Just kidding.

[A]

Exactly. Pawn it off. That's nice. Okay, season. Season two of the new show A Man in the Inside premieres this week. You play a retiree who goes undercover for a local private investigator based on.

[D]

A true story, a documentary out of Chile. Yeah, Santiago, Chile. Sergio was this 82 year old man who had shut down because his wife had died here before. And he was getting more and more isolated. And he randomly picked an ad saying, very funny, actually, gentleman from 75 to 85, good with technology, and they put him into a retirement home to see if something bad was happening. Turns out it wasn't. But it was so sweet, so gently funny and full of heart and dealt with some of the hard stuff with aging. And we solved the crime last year. And so we've moved on to a liberal arts college where there's a mystery happening, a crime, which is kind of cool because Mike Schur is really good at finding things in society or knowing that they're coming. I don't know how he did it because he's been planning this for two or three years. But liberal arts colleges are kind of under attack nowadays, and so there's a celebration of liberal arts in the midst of this mystery. And the other thing is second chances. Do you get to fall in love again if you've lost the love of your life? And I get to play that out with my wife Mary?

[A]

I know that is extraordinary because not only are you playing, not only are you playing, you know, a chance to fall in love a second time, but you get to fall in love all over again with somebody you already fell in love with?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

What is that like to, like, show up on set with this woman you fell in love with 30 years ago to then re. Fall in love with her? Is that. Do you have any. Do you plan ahead of time how. No, no.

[D]

The actor in us, you learn your lines and then you show up and you do the circumstances and all of that, but you want to try to be real in the moment and present and all of that. Like you and I are right now, right?

[A]

I'm like. I'm falling right into those baby blues right there. I feel like Diane, but with Mary.

[D]

I hate love scenes. I hate love scenes with other people. It's like, how do you like making love? Or just love? No, just love scenes. And I never made love on. They never paid me to be sexy.

[A]

You've never made love on camera?

[D]

I kissed. Oh, okay. But no, I was the guy who Made good jokes about sex, but not actually.

[A]

Okay, keep your shirt on.

[D]

Keep your shirt on, Ted, please. But with Mary, she loves me, I love her. And I can throw myself into it because there's no guilt. Because if it's a stranger, it's like, oh, this is wrong. Or is it nice? No, no, it's wrong. It's wrong.

[A]

You know, so really, I mean, listen, I acted a when I was younger, but I never had, I never. I guess no one ever wrote me a love scene and so that, so there's a little guilt involved with like giving yourself over to the attraction to another woman.

[D]

So you hold yourself back, but I got to not hold myself back and fall in love with my wife.

[A]

That's pleasant. We have to take a quick break, but don't go away. Be right back with more Ted Danson, everybody. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the.

[D]

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[A]

To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Give it a try. @mintmobile.com Upfront payment of $45 for 3.

[B]

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[A]

Hey everybody. We're here with the Lovely and talented Mr. Ted Danson. Emmy night when we met at that party afterwards, you and Mary had been honored that evening with the Bob Hope humanitarian. It was a lovely evening. You guys gave a lovely speech. People said lovely things about you. I'm just curious, where did you learn your sense of humanitarianism, your sense of service for other people?

[D]

That's a big thing titled I end.

[A]

Up feeling like Saint is Saint easier.

[D]

Yeah, that's kind of a given. Great. One of my kids went to a psychic one day and the psychic said, you know, your father walked with Jesus and she made the mistake of telling me.

[A]

And you throw that back in your kid's face.

[D]

Here's my image of that moment. Fellas, wait up. It's me, Ted.

[A]

And Jesus is Like, oh, it's Ted again. We already have 12. I'll let you know if somebody dies.

[D]

My father was an archaeologist. He. Yeah, it was cool.

[A]

That's fun. Academic. Like, was he teaching?

[D]

He was a professor then. He was out in the field and he was digging and, you know, the whole thing. And you see civilizations going way back. So what I got from him, and he actually said these words, but kind of absorbed it was, this life, this time, right now, is not just about you. It's about the stewardship of what you've been given. And that kind of soaked in. And so when something came up for me, it was fighting offshore oil drilling in California, and I met this environmental lawyer, became friends, and we kicked their butts and won. And you start finding people in organizations that you enjoy who are doing good work and you support them.

[A]

You know, you got arrested a few years back with Jane Fonda right there. Was that your first arrest, protesting? It was Climate Action protest.

[D]

She's. Yeah, she's definitely one of my heroes in life. Truly. That is. That's called the champagne of arrests. I have a kind of a bad shoulder. And they came out and said, Mr. Danson, if you don't leave now, we're going to have to cuff you and take you to jail. I said, okay, can you cuff me in the front? My shoulder hurts, you know. Yes, Mr. Danson, of course. So champagne has nothing to do with real arrest.

[A]

Did you get. Did you. Did you mix it up when you were young? Like, were you active and rebellious? No, in protest as a young.

[D]

We were stupid once or twice.

[A]

It's a fine line.

[D]

We lived in this beautiful Flagstaff area, just gorgeous, you know, countryside. And there were. It was a period where there were billboards one after another. And so we decided, with the help of a geologist that was working there, we'd go out at midnight and we'd cut them down.

[A]

You cut down all the billboards?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

To restore the view or something?

[D]

Yes, to, you know, protest. You know, stupid. Like I said, stupid. But here's how stupid. We cut down every sign except a sign for my father's museum.

[A]

Aha.

[D]

Boy, he kicked our butts. He was not a happy man.

[A]

You're also hosting a podcast where everybody.

[D]

Knows your name, hosted by Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes.

[A]

Here you are back in. Back in the day. Right there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Who.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Did you have something you wanted to everybody. Literally everything we tried to do to beat Woody at anything, he kicked our butts.

[A]

You're a big guy. You never beat him in arm wrestling?

[D]

Nothing. Basketball? Nothing.

[C]

Pool?

[D]

Chess? No. He's one of my best friends. And what a wonderfully odd doctor.

[A]

Well, just the two of you? Just the two of you. Hanging is worth a listen. Who's a guest that you haven't been able to get that you really want? Is it somebody you're pursuing?

[D]

I'm not. I don't. My brain doesn't work that way. But we just had Carol Burnett.

[A]

Oh, the best. The best.

[D]

We had Dick Van Dyke.

[A]

Dick Van Dyke, yes.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

He's going to be 100, like in a week, right?

[D]

I know.

[A]

That's fantastic.

[D]

He was my hero. I didn't grow up with TVs, and my first TV was at Stanford and I turned it on at 11 o' clock and there was Dick Van Dyke tripping over the ottoman. Yeah, sure. I was hooked.

[A]

There's your guide. There's your North Star for physical comedy.

[D]

There's socks and clean underwear right there.

[A]

Ted, thanks so much for being here. Good to see you. Season two of A Man on the Inside premieres Thursday on Netflix. It's Ted Danson, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled no ding decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no Ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores. If you aren't initially approved. Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores.

[B]

Experian.

[D]

You think you understand how this business works, but you don't.

[A]

Landman, TV's biggest phenomenon returns to Paramount plus from Taylor Sheridan, Co creator of Yellowstone starring Billy Bob Thornton.

[D]

You have to know the rules of the game and bend them.

[A]

And you really have to know them to break. Demi Moore. I want success.

[D]

Get it for me.

[A]

Andy Garcia, Ali Larder and Sam Elliott.

[D]

You don't even know the game you're playing, do you?

[A]

Landman new season now streaming only on Paramount Plus.