Stephen Colbert (0:00)

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I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. It is today. Today marks officially the 100th day of the Trump presidency. And the whole 100 day thing started back in 1933, right when FDR's extraordinary productivity set a first 100 day standard against which all future presidents would be measured. And I think it's appropriate to compare him to FDR because Trump is well on his way to bringing back polio. So in 100 days, how would the American people. Well, according to a new poll, while only 23% would give him an A, 45% would give him an F, the remaining 32% want to kick him right in the D. Yeah, and it's not just this poll. Even Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal is piling on saying that when Trump popular policy, he still goes way too far writing the White House motto seems to be that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing too much. Coincidentally, that's also the motto of Pizza Hut's meat lovers Pizza. Six meats. Six meats on every slice. I can't even name six meats. Pork, beef, chicken, panda. And of course, man, the most dangerous topic. One place Trump is incredibly unpopular is up in Canada, which yesterday gave him their lowest letter grade, Z, as opposed to their highest grade A plus. And Canadians absolutely proved it yesterday when they went to the polls and elected Liberal Prime Minister Mark Carney, who Marconi, who ran on an anti Trump platform. You take that Trump. That's what happens when you mess with a country whose national pastime is bar fight on Ice they make up later, right? Yeah. This was a shocking turnaround for the Liberal Party. Just a few months back, they were 20 points behind the Conservatives. Then in January, Trump came into office and. Oh, oh, oh, Canada. By the way, that line right there. Also your cardiograph. After eating poutine. In his victory speech, Carney went after Trump's threats to Canadian sovereignty, hammer and hockey stick. President Trump is trying to break us so that America can own us. That will never. That will never, ever happen. That will never, ever happen. Come at me, bro. Let me introduce you to my two friends, quiet and reasonable. Come on, let's go. You want to go, bro? You want to. With Carney's victory, Canadians rejected his younger, much Trumpier opponent, Pierre Poilievre. Which must be a relief for Trump, because now he never has to try to say that guy's name. I will make Canada our 51st precious 51st state. As I told their governor, Pierre, Polly waddle doodle of the day. Polly wanna cracker. And along came Polly. Yesterday, Trump hosted the super bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles. It's a traditional event to bring the championship team. Only one thing was missing this time, the team. Because less than half of the 53 man roster attended. That's kind of embarrassing for the President. It's right up there. Yeah. So 28, 20, 27, 25. It's right up there. When Lyndon Johnson honored the Jackson 2, Marlon and Tito. Marlon and Tito agreed to show up. The President spoke to the ones who showed and tried to talk about the team's legacy. Two years ago, the Eagles came incredibly close to football immortality. Yes, they did come incredibly close. Reminds me of that iconic commercial moving overseas. So people were alive in the 70s. So moving overseas. Yesterday, a massive power outage in Spain and Portugal left thousands stranded and millions without light. What will millions of Spaniards do without light? My guess? Facts. Luckily, luckily the power is back on now, but the outage took down the entire electrical grid of Spain and Portugal. As Spain's Prime Minister put it, we have never had a complete collapse of the system. Yeah, in Spain, they usually just get four or five smaller collapses for the table. Speaking of blackouts. Really? No, absolutely not. No. No. Speaking of blackouts, Pete Hegseth. Last month, the Defense Secretary shared specific times and coordinates of a US attack on Houthi rebels in Yemen on the non secure app signal, in a chat that included Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg. Then we found out that he had shared the Houthi attack details. And in a second signal chat that included his wife and his brother and brought his wife to meetings with foreign military officials where sensitive information was discussed. And all this loosey goosey with the houthi has led former Pentagon officials to call for Hagseth to step down. In response, Hegseth did what he does best, appear on Fox News. Jim, do you think there's a lot of people don't want you there and there's some type of steep that want to make sure you don't stay there? They've come after me from day one just like they've come after President Trump. Here's the thing, a lot of people come to Washington and they just play the game and it's you punch their ticket and get a loan to go along and, you know, start doing Meet the Press and going to the Council on Foreign Relations and spending time with all the new cocktail sipping crowd. That's not why I'm here. No, that's not why I'm here, Brian. I'm not here. I'm not here with the new cocktail sipping crowd to go along to the Face the Nation on the foreign relations. I'm not here to do that. I'm here to do shots alone and text war plans. Brian, give me your number. I'll send you some hilarious pictures of me dry humping a cruise missile. I'll copy my life on it. Hegseth knows his real job is to yell about stuff on tv, which is why he is keeping our war fighters battle ready by ordering a makeup studio installed at the Pentagon. Oh, that's right. Before you blow up, you ought to glow up. It's not the first time hair and makeup were necessary to lead our troops. Man, Hegseth looks fantastic in a thong. He's not the only dummy at the Pentagon. So is Trump's secretary of the Navy. And last face you see before you're shoved in the trunk of a Pontiac. John Phelan. Phelan visited the Pearl harbor memorial last week, but he made a little whoopsie when he posted about it on social media, saying he was there to honor those who died during Pearl harbor on June 7, 1941. Now, fans of knowin stuff may recall that the actual date of the Pearl harbor sneak attack was December 7, 1941. But it's an easy mistake. Who can forget the words of FDR? December 7, 1941. A date that will live in June. Evidently, I'm high mother truckers. But hey, hey, he said that, right? He said that's what he said. He said that. He said that. He actually. But maybe it was a typo. Maybe it was an autocorrect. Or maybe he doesn't know when Pearl harbor happened because he did it again, posting a short while later about the fateful day of June 7, 1941. It's like the famous saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. Hey, what was the date of 9? 11. But I guess we shouldn't be surprised that Faien is bad at this because unlike previous naval secretaries, he has zero military experience. Which explains why he's changed the Navy slogan to why is everything so wet? We got a great show for you tonight coming up. Will Ferrell. Right now the Home Depot has spring deals under $20. So no matter what you're working on, the deals are blooming at the Home Depot with savings on plants, flowers, soil and more. Then light up your outdoor space with Hampton Bay string lights was $34.97, now only $19.99. And get the grill going with two 16 pound bags of Kingsford charcoal. Was $19.98, now only $17.88. Don't miss spring deals under $20 now through May 7 at the home Depot. Subject to availability. Valid on select items only. I think you're on mute. Workday starting to sound the same. I think you're on mute. Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn. With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits like Flexpto or hybrid workplaces, so you can find the right job for you. Get started@LinkedIn.com jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how. Now streaming. When everything's on the line, real heroes rise to the occasion. TV's hottest show is Fire Country. We're firefighters. We're gonna find a way to get you out of here. We take the hits. We're on the same team. I'm right here with you no matter what. I would never leave you hanging in the deep end. This place is a way of giving you new family. Fire Country. All episodes now streaming on Paramount plus. Hey, everybody. I'm here. You know who this is? This is Will Ferrell, America's sweetheart. Will, you know we know each other for a long time. We've known each other since Strangers with Candy. Candy. Wow, even. Yeah. Strangers with Candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But even though I've known you for, gosh, that's 25 plus years now. We did that together. I still don't know you that well. And it's not that you're not, you know, you're not a giving guy. You're Very generous. You're very open. I'm still a little mysterious. It's part of the allure, I suppose. Part of the Hollywood star maker machine is you have to reserve a little something back so people can project their fantasies onto you. But as the host of a show, I really like to get to know my guests. Don't meet your heroes. That's right. I haven't. But the. The thing is, the thing is, is that I really like to know my guests because I respect them so much, you know? Yeah. And we here at the show have found a way to really get to the heart of somebody very quickly with a series of ergonomically designed bunker buster questions, we call them, that penetrate right through the armor and burst open your heart so the world can see the real you. Are you Will Ferrell, ready to be fully known? Absolutely. Will Ferrell, first question. Yes. What is the best sandwich? The best sandwich? What is the best sandwich? Oh, that's easy. I'll probably go with the classic salami and grapefruit on rye with a light sheen of mayonnaise. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. So you get. I'm getting hungry. You get the spicy. You got the spicy. You. You got the sort of fatty. You got the citrus and the mayonnaise. Fantastic. Is that panini'd or is that. Either way. Okay. Open face. You can't ruin. Comes pre. Ruined. There you go. What was your first concert that you attended? Roddy Ricch. Who's Roddy Ricch? Who's Roddy Ricch? Just a hip hop guy about five years ago. My first concert. Wow. Okay, good. But do I know any of his. Would I know any of his stuff? No. Okay. What is the scariest animal? The scariest animal? Yeah. You know what the scariest animal is? Yeah. The penguin. Yeah. Because you know the old phrase, don't turn your back on a penguin. I do know that. I do know that. Yeah. Apples or oranges? Uh, apples. Yeah. Yeah. It does get a. It usually gets a whoo. A light. Whoo. Have you ever asked anyone for their autograph? I've only asked one person. Vladimir Putin. And did. Did he get. Did he get it? He was in a rush. He was not signing that day. He was not signing. Wow. He's got to appreciate the fans, though. He did. That sends a bad impression to the fans because eventually they'll turn on you. He was like, I so appreciate it, but I'm in a rush. Oh, wow. Uh huh. Will, what do you think happens when we die? Oh, what do I think. What do I know happens. I'll take that too. What happens when we die? We turn into trees. Oh, yeah, that's very sweet. Yeah, that's very sweet. And we spread our branches and is it like, is there any kind of karmic aspect to this? Like the type of person we were turns into the type of tree we were. We're gonna be. It doesn't necessarily correlate, but I do know this. You're stuck as a tree for eternity. Once you become the tree, that's it. Uh huh. Yeah, that's it. Now you're going to experience a lot of things and you're going to, you know, witness, you know, and you'll be around and you'll be contributing to the world, to the planet. Oxygen. Oxygen, okay. But you're a tree. That's it. And you know this how? I just know it. Favorite action movie. Sense and sensibility. Yeah, sure. You know. Yeah, yeah. The horses. Yeah. The rein carrying the. Carrying her. The swinging of doors. Yeah, sure. The loud exclamations of fancy words. Window or aisle? I'm a window because I like a little privacy and I like to look out of the window at all the dead people. The trees as we go over. Sure. The trees. Look out over the trees. Favorite smell. Favorite smell. Jockstrap. Least favorite smell. Newborn baby's head. Earliest memory. Earliest memory. I was four years old and I attempted to rob a liquor store with my hand in a paper bag as if it were a gun. Oh, wow. And I made off with $36. You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. Okay? It doesn't mean like you have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is what you hear. What is the song for the Rest of My Life? Is it like playing in my head or is it just you go to turn the music? That's what you get. Rick Astley Never Going To Give youe Up Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and hurt you. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Dessert. Using this we've so get out of it. I just want to tell you that I'm feeling. Trying to make you understand. Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down. Never going to run around and desert you. Never gonna lift you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna hurt you. You can pay for that. Right? I was just about to ask. What? That. What's that gonna run us? Yeah. What's that little joke there of Mr. Clown man over here gonna cost me 30,000. 80. Yeah, that's fine. You're good for it. That's nothing. Come on, cbs. Come on. What number am I thinking of? You want to say it at the count of three? Nope. What number are you thinking of right now? What number am I thinking of right now? What number? 1,000, 284. No. Well, Farrell, describe the rest of your life in five words. Oh, conquer my fear of penguins. Congratulations, Will. You're known. Yes. Will Ferrell, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod show with Stephen Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh, fierce. This has been your Wayfarer style tip to keep those interiors superior. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Now streaming. When everything's on the line, real heroes rise to the occasion. TV's hottest show is Fire Country. We're firefighters. We're gonna find a way to get you out of here. We take the hiss to together. We're on the same team. I'm right here with you no matter what. I would never leave you hanging in the deep end. This place is a way of giving you new family Fire Country. All episodes now streaming on Paramount. Plus.