Boss Moves & Breaking Points: Black Women, Business & Boundaries

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Boss Moves & Breaking Points: Black Women, Business & Boundaries"
The Latest with Loren LoRosa | May 7, 2026 | The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this inspiring and candid episode, host Loren LoRosa brings together dynamic Black women entrepreneurs—Janae of Brown Girl Grinding and Melissa Butler, founder of The Lip Bar—in a behind-the-scenes style conversation recorded at the Accelerate Her Awards, a global leadership conference celebrating Black women in business. Their authentic conversation explores the realities of entrepreneurship, building community-driven brands, self-care, boundaries in business, capitalism, resilience, and the unique pressures Black women face in leadership. The episode is filled with actionable insights, empowering moments, and a deep dive into the mindset shifts required to thrive as a successful Black woman in business.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Conference Reflections & Recognition (03:32–04:11)

• Loren shares her gratitude for attending the Accelerate Her Awards, highlighting the importance of Black women leadership, collaboration, and her own recognition with the "Bossy Award."
• Importance of women uplifting each other for the next generation.
• Loren:

  “These women are coming together because they want to pour into each other, they want to fill each other's cups, they want to celebrate each other, and they want to uplift the people that are coming next.” (03:40)

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2. Self-Care & Business Boundaries

(04:35–09:43)

• Moderator's question: How do you genuinely take care of yourself amid the demands of business?

• Janae: Advocates for self-awareness and slow mornings; keeps her phone on silent to minimize distractions; stresses not feeling guilty for enforcing boundaries.

  • “Being aware of what you have to give people and when you need to rest… that's what I need to rejuvenate myself so that I'm not only giving to my audience, but also my team.” (05:51)

• Melissa: Grew up in hustle culture where self-care took a back seat; only after a breaking point did she establish serious boundaries such as no work after 5pm or weekends.

  • “It wasn't until Covid that I even gave myself permission to be Melissa... I had to remind myself that I was a human first, not a business owner.” (07:05)

• Both underscore the difficulty of giving oneself permission to rest, given societal expectations of Black women to “carry the weight.”

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3. Unlearning Hustle, Embracing Wellness

(08:31–09:43)

• Discussion of moving away from filling every hour with productivity.
• Melissa advocates for fitness, journaling, meditation, and prioritizing sleep.

  • “I have leaned into wellness...Massages, Reiki...but working out and journaling and also just sleeping has been a game changer.” (08:49–09:43)

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4. Breaking Points & Self-Talk

(14:34–16:31)

• Moderator: Shares a personal story of burnout while caretaking for family and balancing work, asking guests about their own breaking points and post-burnout self-talk.
• Melissa: Importance of self-worth and “having the same nerve to love yourself as you do to serve others.”

  • “You have to have that same nerve to love yourself enough to show up for yourself. Not just your customers, not just your community, not just your team members.” (15:21)

• Janae: Reminds herself that her unique vision can't be replicated; validation that her community will still be there even if she steps back.

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5. Navigating Visibility, Community Expectations, and Privacy

(16:44–20:18)

• Conversation around public presence and the balance between influencer “on” moments and protecting private life.
• Janae: Strategically chooses when and where to be “on” for her audience, even planning her outings based on likelihood of being recognized.
• Melissa: Prefers privacy, only sharing selectively. Challenges the notion that there is a single “correct” path to entrepreneurial success.

  • “One of the things I want us to get out of the habit of is thinking that there's only one path to success. There are many paths to success. There is not ever going to be one singular way to get it done.” (19:07)

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6. Content Creation & Brand Authenticity

(20:29–21:31)

• The group discusses the difficulty of content creation and the importance of authenticity.
• Janae: Loves the creative process; Melissa: Finds content creation challenging and is intentional in focusing on her strengths in business, not forcing herself to fit the influencer mold.

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7. Failures, Details, and Resilience

(21:31–24:47)

• Both share stories about launches and campaigns that didn’t go as planned.
• Janae: Had to launch without her ideal products or photography; learned to give herself grace and accept imperfection.
• Melissa: Emphasizes resilience, reliance on team, and the necessity (and beauty) of failure for growth.

  • “When things go wrong, it literally doesn't bother me. I love it when things break. I love it because it means that my team is going to get better.” (22:40)

  • “Failing is so beautiful as long as you fail forward.” (24:05)

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8. Capitalism, Community, and Morality

(24:47–28:41)

• Dialogue on navigating perceptions of “selling out” as Black women succeed financially.
• Melissa: Money is not bad; condemning wealth hinders future growth for the community. Stresses transparency and education about business realities to the community.

  • “We can't be afraid of money. Money is not a bad thing. We need money to eat, to feed our families, to fuel the future generation…” (25:54)

• Janae: Focus always on building a community, not exploiting insecurities for sales.

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9. Advice to Their Younger Selves

(29:18–32:55)

• Janae: “Trust people to help you. Failure is okay. And don’t be so hard on yourself.”
• Melissa: Shares a story of a holiday collaboration delayed by customs, underlining the unpredictability of business. Wishes she’d had more confidence in early days and trusted her unique perspective.

  • “If I would have had the confidence those early days to keep pushing on some of those more challenging conversations, I think we would have had a different path.” (32:12)

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10. Closing Reflections

(32:55–33:39)

• Moderator: Recognizes the ongoing process of learning and growing, even for successful entrepreneurs, and the bravery in “doing it scared and in front of the world.”

  • “Nobody has it all figured out...they’re figuring things out as well. They’re doing it scared. They’re doing it in front of the world.” (33:27)

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Notable Quotes

• "You have to have that same nerve to love yourself enough to show up for yourself. Not just your customers, not just your community, not just your team members."
  —Melissa Butler, 15:21

• "Being aware of what you have to give people and when you need to rest... that's what I need to rejuvenate myself so that I'm not only giving to my audience, but also my team."
  —Janae (Brown Girl Grinding), 05:51

• “Failing is so beautiful as long as you fail forward...If you're continuously making the exact same mistakes, then baby, you might be in the wrong business. But the goal is to get better.”
  —Melissa Butler, 24:05

• “Trust people to help you. Failure is okay. And don’t be so hard on yourself.”
  —Janae (Brown Girl Grinding), 29:18

• "There is not ever going to be one singular way to get it done...you have to be comfortable with leaning into the thing that you are good at."
  —Melissa Butler, 19:07

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:32: Loren LaRosa discusses the significance of Accelerate Her Awards and Black women uplifting each other.
• 05:51: Janae explains her self-care practices and the importance of boundaries.
• 07:05: Melissa speaks on unlearning hustle culture and prioritizing herself after a breaking point.
• 14:34: Moderator and guests discuss breaking points and how to reset after burnout.
• 19:07: Melissa challenges the myth of a single “correct” path to success.
• 21:31: Handling failure and importance of resilience in entrepreneurship.
• 24:47: The tension between capitalism, community expectations, and Black women making money.
• 29:18: Guests give advice to their younger entrepreneurial selves.
• 32:55: Moderator re-emphasizes that even the most visibly “together” entrepreneurs are still just figuring it out.

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Recap & Takeaways

This episode is an honest, empowering reminder that Black women entrepreneurs face unique challenges and pressures around visibility, self-sacrifice, and the morality of success. Melissa and Janae provide both practical strategies (boundaries, self-care routines, resilience) and mindset shifts (embracing failure, seeking help, and standing in confidence) needed to succeed—and do so with humor, relatability, and vulnerability. Their stories collectively emphasize:

• There are many paths to business success
• Self-care and boundaries are revolutionary acts
• Failure is a requirement for growth
• Community, authenticity, and education are at the heart of ethical entrepreneurship
• Even the most successful are always learning, growing, and “doing it scared”

For aspiring or current entrepreneurs—and anyone navigating the balancing act of purpose, visibility, and wellness—this conversation is an invaluable resource.

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Transcript

[Lauren LaRosa]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Janae]

Guaranteed human. Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business because people always ask me how am I actually able to run everything? We got brown Girl grinding on social media for the stories, but brown girlgrinding.com is Shopify in the merch. Shopify is literally the platform where I turn this tiny idea into a real business. And right now my storefront, browngargrande.com and the black Effects storefront are booked and busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting, y'. All. I'm so excited about the fact that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a really big way. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, trust me, y' all can do it too.

[Wheezy]

This is wheezy. WTF from Decisions Decisions ladies. Let's talk about taking control of our sexual health. That's grown woman energy. You may think HIV affects someone else somewhere else, but the truth is it's impacting our community and some of us are being hit harder than others. Black women make up just 13% of the women in the US yet account for nearly half of new HIV diagnoses amongst women. Taking care of ourselves is community care. Know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body. That's using your power. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

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[AT&T Business Wireless Spokesperson]

Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T business Wireless, checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sail or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time.

[Melissa Butler]

Sometimes AT&T business Wireless Connecting changes everything.

[Janae]

I'm the homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody know if you don't lie about that.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Right?

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

Lauren came in hot.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey y', all, what's up it's Lauren LaRosa. And this is the latest with Lauren LaRosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news, and all of the conversations that shake the room, baby. So you guys know I've been in Miami for the Accelerate her awards, which is a global leadership conference with powerful women. These black women get together, and, I mean, these are millionaires, billionaires, women that are making decisions. These are the decision makers, the who's, who's. But more importantly, these women are women that are coming together because they want to pour into each other, they want to fill each other's cups, they want to celebrate each other, and they want to uplift the people that are coming next. And I am so blessed to have been in conversation as one of those people that are coming next and to receive the. And to receive the Bossy Award as a celebration in a notch, in an official welcome, you know, into this leadership family. You know, this conference has been amazing. Shout out to Kimberly Blackwell, who has an agency that puts all these things together. I mean, sponsors range from everybody, you know, from Visa, and, you know, I got to do a fun activation with Meta Disney Travel. I've. Wells Fargo. I've met so many people this past weekend. Ran into my girl Takara from America's Next Top Model as well. Yeah, just. I mean, Pastor Jamal Bryant. Kamala Harris spoke. I could go on for. I ran into Terry Vaughn. Had a great conversation with her as well. I could go on and on for days.

[Janae]

And thanks for supporting me. A lot of what they talked about

[Lauren LaRosa]

while I was here at this conference was the podcast and our audience, so I appreciate you guys always.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Thank you, honey.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Welcome, ladies. The floor is yours. Hey, ladies.

[Melissa Butler]

Hi. Hello.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

How y' all feeling?

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Amazing.

[Melissa Butler]

I'm excited to be here. I love this conference. It's just a warm hug.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

It's my first year being here, and,

[Lauren LaRosa]

I mean, last night I came in,

[Moderator/Interviewer]

I was really tired, but when I walked in, I received, like, it was. We were in church last night when I walked in, and then just now backstage, I told you guys that that was, like, the first, like, group conversation I've had, and that felt like a hug. So we were talking a bit, you know, backstage, and they were like, oh, what are we gonna talk about? And I was like, you know, I had prepared my notes, and then as I was coming in here, I was like, there's so much I naturally want to know from you women because you are so successful at what you do, but you also show up so much that I'm like, we're not going to do the notes. We just going to talk. We're going to have sister conversation. Y' all down for that? All right, so my first question, and anybody can take this, is when you are working in an industry where you have to show up so much, like, I know you're in front of the camera a lot, you're modeling your own brand as well, you know, you face of your brand as well. But also, I think when people here show up or be the face of, they only think about like an influencer or someone who's taking a photo for a website or, you know, doing interviews. But you show up every day sometimes even if you're behind the scenes, because you're meetings, phone calls, zooms, you have employees. How do you take care of yourself in the midst of all of that? And I mean really take care of yourself. Not I get a 30 minute nap.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

We were kind of talking about it, but for me, it's self awareness, knowing what you need. We talked about, like, when you don't answer the phone or when you. I'm a huge proponent of just like knowing what I need when I need it and being okay with that and not feeling like, guilty about it. I don't. I have slow mornings. That's something I promise myself as an entrepreneur. When I work for myself, I'd rather stay up all night than get up early in the morning. So I'm gonna have a slow morning. But I also don't talk on the phone all day and just like, chitchat with people. I don't have it to give. I'll call you back. And that's just what. But also, people know that, like, when I'm around other people, they're like, your phone never rings. Because I'm busy. This is the work day. I have to work. So I feel like being aware of, like, what you have to give people and when you need to kind of like rest. There's also, like you said, you're on the go all the time and you get home, you just kind of like close off to the world. That is very much me also. And that's okay. That's what I need to kind of like rejuvenate myself so that I'm not only giving to my audience, but also my team and making sure I can show up for them and be on 100%.

[Melissa Butler]

I love that that came natural for you because you were what, a year in 10 months? 10 months.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

10 months.

[Melissa Butler]

Not for my brand.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Yeah.

[Melissa Butler]

So I've been doing the lip Bar for 14 years. And I think I grew up in hustle culture, where it's like you're supposed to give. You're supposed to grind all night, you're supposed to wake up early in the morning. And taking care of myself really took a back seat. It wasn't until Covid that I even gave myself permission to be Melissa. That's why if you notice if people. If you've come up to me, you're like, you're the lip art girl. I'm like, I'm Melissa. Because I had to remind myself that I was a human first, not a business owner. And I think as a black woman, we grow up in this. In this world where we are used to wearing the weight, we're used to caring so much for our families, for our teams, for our communities, et cetera, that it was not natural to me. I actually had to go through a breaking point to say, melissa, you deserve more of you.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Melissa Butler]

And in that breaking point, I just created serious boundaries. I'm like, oh, I don't work after 5 o' clock in for. I don't work on the weekends. When I'm tired, I'm comfortable saying that I'm tired. When I don't want to show up, I say no. But that wasn't necessarily the case. And I don't think that that's how a lot of people grow their careers, grow their businesses, because we didn't know that we had permission to do that.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

It's a lot of unlearning.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Melissa Butler]

It's a lot of unearthing from my

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

previous career, the first year of, like, working on my own, I would have to tell myself, like, it's okay to take a break.

[Melissa Butler]

It's okay.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

It's okay to sit down. It's okay. You feel like you need to feel every hour of the day.

[Melissa Butler]

Yeah.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Because you're like, well, yeah.

[Melissa Butler]

Productivity, mom.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Absolutely.

[Melissa Butler]

Eating, productivity, like. Like Pac Man. And so I have leaned into wellness. I've leaned into fitness. I work out a ton. I realize that if I don't work out, I'm an angry person. I journal. I rely heavily on my journal because sometimes it's like you just have that emotion that you want to get out. It's not that you don't have anyone to talk to. I am so fortunate to have a great group of friends and family and even my team. I couldn't do this without my team. But sometimes you just want to be with you. You want to sit with your emotions first. And I have found that fitness, meditation, massages, Reiki. I've done all the things, but working out and journaling and also just sleeping has been a game changer. Like, I try, I try really hard to prioritize. Seven, eight hours of sleep a night.

[Wheezy]

This is weezy. WTF from Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Janae]

Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business because people always ask me like, how do I actually run everything? So Shopify is literally the platform where I turned this tiny idea into a business. Before this, I was really just like popping up at any in person event, any vending opportunity I could, which I still do, but I wasn't really as focused online. I. I was like, you know, the websites are going to be too much to build out. I'm not like a super techie person, even though I can make cute. And I didn't want to put up a website that would run my customers away. I wanted it to be efficient, to be easy. And Shopify helped me build brown girlgrinding.com out. Once I switched to Shopify, it finally clicked like, okay, I can actually do this. It's not about it being tough, it's about using the right platform to make it easy. Shopify takes all of the guesswork out. I build my own store, I manage my community, own my own customer relationships. Plus, this is my favorite thing. Shopify gets my products everywhere. I'm able to link stuff through Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop the Shop app, even ChatGPT and Instagram, which is very important for me. And Shopify's AI co founder, sidekick, game changer, let me tell y', all, right? So it's helped me not only optimize my site, it helps me look at my sales trends, it updates my product skills, all the stuff I'm absolutely not an expert in. But it's like having a genius business partner that never sleeps. And right now, the Bronco grinding storefront and the Black Effects storefront is busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting. I love that for us. I am pumped, like so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a big way. And I will be there preaching this platform to all of the small black owned businesses that partner with us. So if you've been sitting on an idea or if you're ready to scale, which you've already started, this is your sign. Go to shopify.com Ben if I can do it, you can do it too.

[Superhuman Podcast Narrator]

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque, others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all. Embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year, within probably

[Moderator/Interviewer]

10 days, I'd put on £10. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.

[Superhuman Podcast Narrator]

Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[David Eagleman]

There are times when the mind becomes a difficult place to live. This is David Eagleman with the Inner Cosmos podcast. And for Mental Health Awareness Month, we're dedicating a series to understanding the mind when it struggles. I'm joined by doctors, researchers, and those with lived experience. We'll talk with singer songwriter Jewel about anxiety.

[AT&T Business Wireless Spokesperson]

I started living in my car and then my car got stolen. I was shoplifting, I was having panic attacks. I was agoraphobic.

[David Eagleman]

And making it through hardship to be

[AT&T Business Wireless Spokesperson]

present is a learned skill and it's hard to be present.

[David Eagleman]

We'll talk with John Nelson about clinical depression and the brain implant that saved his life. What I learned is the procedure made me happy because I'm disease free. And we'll talk with leading experts like Jud Brewer about anxiety and John Hirschfeld about obsessive compulsive disorder and the science of how the brain can change. This is a month of deeply personal and honest conversations about what happens when the brain goes off course and what we can do about it. Listen to intercosmos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

You talked about A breaking point. And I don't know if you have one that you want to share, but it made me think about I caretake for my mother and my grandmother. And I remember I'd gotten to a point where like, I physically passed out because I was trying to keep up with work and that, you know, that space was new for me as well too. And I felt like if I didn't keep up for work, I was out of sight, out of mind. And because, you know, at the time I was in a new, I was the only black girl there. And, you know, I was like, if I dip, they're going to just replace me, get rid of me. And I can't afford that. Right? When you're in that breaking point, it feels like, oh my God, my world is over if I don't learn how to get back on the horse. What was your self talk in that moment where you got yourself to a point where you're like, I don't want to come back here again. Here are the things I need to do. And I'm okay with that.

[Melissa Butler]

It was really that I'm worthy. So. So, like, the way I think about the lip bar is like, I had the nerve to serve. I had the nerve to center black women. I had the nerve to say that our beauty was enough. Like, that took a lot of gumption. That took a lot of confidence because it's not what the broader industry was doing 14 years ago. And so when I think about the how and why I started, it's like, well, Melissa, you have to have that same nerve to love yourself enough to show up for yourself. Not just your customers, not just your community, not just your team members. And I think that's a hard thing to do. But it was just a moment of defiance. It was a moment of defying what the world said success looked like. And I think that, you know, now, 20, 26, 14 years later, I love that wellness is being prioritized because that certainly wasn't the case. And so it's just a matter of, like, deciding that you are good enough for the fruits of your labor, frankly, because, like, we all work so, so incredibly hard. Why, why wouldn't I take the vacation? Why wouldn't I do the thing? Why wouldn't I sit back and look at the world that I've built and

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

the vision and passion that you have for your brand. No one can replace that. Like you're saying, you do feel like you have to be visible or you're gonna get passed by and people are gonna forget about You. But no one's serving the community. I'm serving in the way that I'm serving them. So they will be there.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Let's stay there for a second too. Because one thing I noticed about your brand, not even just 12pm Studios, but like, you know, you're vlogging on YouTube. You are very present across social media as well, too.

[Melissa Butler]

Everything, right?

[Moderator/Interviewer]

No one can do that like you. Because when we are fans of you, it's physically like you, right? That means you have to pick and choose. When you allow that to be shut off and realizing that you just walking outside of your house could turn into a photo op moment. Or like, where's your on and off switch? On the influencer side of it, right? Because if I'm a fan on YouTube and you're out and about and you're not vlogging, but I see you, it's like, I want that interaction. I want that. But that may be your off day. So how do you figure that out in the space of 2026? We take out our phone, we live.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

You know, it's so funny because I also am very aware of my community. Like, this is my community, right? It's black women. So I know when I need to be on, and that's just a part of my job and responsibility, and I'm happy to do it. But I know I'm like, hey, if I'm going to Tyson's Corner, that's like the luxury mall. I'm gonna see the queens, I'm gonna see my audience like that. So that's what it is. So I need to be prepared. I need to make sure I look ready for photos or I'm just in a head space and if I don't got it that day, then I need to stay home because. Or I need to go. There's parts of town where I'm like, my audience is not gonna be here. I might go to a barbecue place that's in a little hole in the wall. I'm like, this is.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

I'm good here.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

No one's gonna ask for a picture. Like, these people don't know who I am.

[Melissa Butler]

So.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

So that's just like a part of life. But I make sure I can show up and go places when I know my people are going to be there.

[Melissa Butler]

You know what's interesting about that? Like, I have been so antisocial from. From the beginning of time. Like, I know that the lip bar would be so much bigger if I were to truly step into being the face of the brand. Like, I'M the face of the brand

[Moderator/Interviewer]

because you leaned in. I know you got that advice on Shark Tank.

[Melissa Butler]

People remember me, Shark Tank. But I'm not the person, like, camera to the face all day. I'm not the person who's creating content. It is not natural to me. And I have struggled with that over the years, mostly because, like, that is where a lot of the growth is coming from. It's like, oh, you're supposed to create the content. You have to invite people into your world. And I have been so intentional about deciding to keep my world private. Like, people don't know that much about me. People know, like, Melissa was on Shark Tank. People know what I allow them to know.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Right.

[Melissa Butler]

And, like, yes, I'll be vocal about things that I think that my broader community needs to know, but people don't even know I'm in Miami right now. But I think that one of the things I want us to get out of the habit of is thinking that there's only one path to success. There are many paths to success. There is not ever going to be one singular way to get it done. Like, math is incredibly complex, and I think that you have to be comfortable with leaning into the thing that you are good at. I am good at understanding the community. I am good at connecting dots. I am good at understanding emotion and understanding the gaps in which our community are not being served. That's my superpower, being a content creator. And editing is probably not it. I also know that it's not it, because that is hard as hell.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Yes.

[Melissa Butler]

Like, you have ever tried to, like, create content. I'm like, oh, I have so much respect for Janae because. Wow.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

And it's even harder when you don't like it.

[Wheezy]

Yeah.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Like, I love it. So it's not like I'm like, I can't wait to get in bed and, like, start editing.

[Melissa Butler]

Meanwhile, it's that hard thing. And I'm like, I'm kind of unwilling to do it. Like, I will give myself in many other ways, but that's not gonna be my ministry, and that's okay.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

And, you know, one of the things talking about creating content in Janae, like, even before meeting you here, like, you're one of the people that, like, you're consistent. I know, like, when she coming, she is coming. And I mean, the details are together, the look is together. It's like. And it doesn't feel like the aesthetic is forced. And I love people who make content that way. Right. I was on your website. I was telling you this. I was on 12pm Studio's website preparing for this conversation.

[Janae]

And the first thing I was, I

[Moderator/Interviewer]

thought, I'm like, I'm like, I don't know if people understand the importance of a product shot when you were an entrepreneur trying to sell a product. But I was like, wow, her photos are amazing. Like, but they're so simple. But the details are there. And both of you, ladies and gentlemen, I know because I know you were making things out of your kitchen forever, right? Because the details are so important to you guys. I want to hear about a time, though, because you do detail so well that the details weren't done right. And how did you deal with that internally? Because if you take it so serious, I know it hurts when it don't go well.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

This is something I'm still learning because I feel like nothing in this process has gone exactly the way I've wanted it to. And it's, I think, just learning as an entrepreneur. Like, obviously you don't know as a consumer what my goal is and what my hope is or my vision is. But from launch day, we didn't launch with the products I wanted to. Like, there were certain things that weren't ready and we couldn't push it back anymore. The first shoot didn't go well and we had to scrap it and hire a whole new team and do a whole different shoot. Obviously, no one knows that, but that was devastating to me when we spent most of our budget on that shoot and then had to, like, basically asked for favors and my husband had to hop in and do stuff. So there's so many things. And I kind of was holding myself very accountable and, like, being very difficult on myself. And I had to say, like, this is new. This is new for you. But also, this is the way of business. Like, things are not always going to pan out how you expected and how you hope for it, but you need to just keep it moving and elevate. Right? Like the website you're looking at, that was not the website we launched with, but we also needed to launch with what we were capable of and what we had the capacity to do. So I'm still in the learning phase of that.

[Melissa Butler]

I think one of the most important characteristics of a leader of an entrepreneur is resilience. And with that resilience, there's an understanding that things will go wrong. Like, I expect things to go wrong. I don't freak out when they go wrong. I'm like, oh, okay, I'm still in the freak out that went wrong. I've accepted it. Now what is the solution. I get very action oriented also. I think one of the things is just like reliance. So there's resilience and there's the reliance, the reliance on your team. And like no one is in your brain but you. No one has your exact vision but you. And so when you trust people, when you are hiring people, when you are giving entire functions, like I don't own a single function of the lip bar, that means that things will go wrong. And that's okay because you have to have room for people to learn. It also allows you to grow as a leader. So when things go wrong, it literally doesn't bother me. I love it when things break. I love it because it means that my team is going to get better. It means that I learn how to communicate my vision, my goals a little bit sharper so that the next time we can fail at a different thing. I think that failing is so beautiful. As long as you fail forward now. If you're continuously making the exact same mistakes, then baby, you might be in the wrong business. But the goal is to get better. I mean that is the name and game of capitalism. There's always more. And I think that that has been the most painful part of being an entrepreneur because you don't realize that when you're starting this business with the goal to serve or to show up for a specific community in a way that they are not currently being served, like you start in a very purpose driven way and then you start growing and then you're like, whoa, I hit that milestone, what's the next one? And every single year there is a new milestone which means that every single year you have to work slightly differently to reach that new goal. So you got to get comfortable with shit breaking.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

When you talk about, you know, starting, starting out with this like purpose and you want to help everybody. And you know, I just think about like someone who's like really, really young in business. Not even like the age, but just like first six months out right of their first business. It's like such a green eyed, like I can solve every problem, I can do all these things. And then you get to the point where you're making money and you bring in the capitalism conversation. I think that that's or capitalist conversation.

[Janae]

And I think for black people and

[Moderator/Interviewer]

for black women, that conversation has always been one that like some people are willing to have and some people aren't because there's a whole conversation about it gets to a point where some industries are like, they lean in on what people are weak with. Right. So, like, you guys are in beauty fashion. They appeal to what. They appeal to people's weaknesses to make them want to buy.

[Janae]

Right.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

But you guys remain good people throughout it. And I think a lot of people are scared that once you start making that money and you are. Are okay with making your money, you're a black woman out here doing it. That now people change how they think about you as a person, morally. How do you guys deal with that as successful black women? Go ahead.

[Melissa Butler]

Well, I mean, I think the first thing is that we can't be afraid of money. Money is not a bad thing. We need money to eat, to feed our families, to fuel the future generation. And I do think that we have condemned making money in some facet. It's like, you know, you root for that person when they're on the ground floor, and as soon as they are trying to grow, which requires a different version of them, it's kind of like you expect them to stay in that same place. And I approach that with honesty. I approach it with integrity. I am a very transparent person. I've made it my personality to be honest because, like, I never want people to assume things about me. Ask and I will give you the real answer. And I have. I've used that with my family, with my friends, with my. My customers and my community. And so it's like, yeah, one day I do want to sell the lip bar. And I actually think it's a great thing. I understand that some people may think it's better that, you know, so it's like, it's just about approaching things with honesty integr and integrity. But also it's understanding that our broader community may not know the why. And so I take a very serious responsibility in helping to educate them. Like, why, why. Why are these beauty brands selling? Why are these beauty brands failing? Like, what. What does it require to raise capital? Like, we don't really know the ins and outs of business beyond rooms like this. Right. So we are in a very privileged room right now, but the masses for black people in this country have no idea how any of this works. And so it's a lot of assumptions that go into it. And I think that we, as leaders in this space, we have to approach it with honesty and integrity and with a heart in educating our people. If we want to see more from our community, communities.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

And if you want them to stay on your side, like you said, I feel like it's also a balance of. I think we both have this in common with our brands where we are Serving it's community first.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Is the goal. So even when we do promotional assets or campaign shoots, I'm never trying to dig at the emotion of insecurity to get you to buy something. Right. It's about building a community and you being a part of something. I want to make sure you feel seen with diversity in our campaigns. So it's always community driven. And I'm here to serve you. I want you to feel, have a luxurious experience at an approachable price point. So I'm. I'm offering more than I feel like I'm trying to get. So I feel like there's a good balance with, like, the. Yes. Money is kind of the byproduct of what I'm doing, and that's what comes in. But my goal is to make you feel good and make you feel seen.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Got you.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

I love those answers. I do. And I was excited to come to this space to. To feel that as well. Cause we do. Like, you get to a certain point and you see it. You see people have conversations about women who have acquired a certain amount of success financially or whatever, as if this isn't the same person who may come from whatever she came from or whatever the case may be. And it's very unfortunate. And if you guys could talk to yourselves way back when, your first day of business, what would you tell her? As the woman you are sitting here as today,

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

trust people to help you. Failure is okay. And don't be so hard on yourself. I was talking to you earlier. The last fourth quarter, I feel like almost broke me because it's also a balance of my business is new for my brand, but I also have a creator business, and that business has been thriving since 2019, when I became a creator full time. So I'm also on the journey of learning to balance two businesses and clocking in, clocking out of this job and into this job, and I do both all day long. And trying to do that and learn how to be the CEO of this new brand was very difficult. So just giving myself more grace.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Do it, girl. Give yourself some grace. You're doing it in front of the world, too.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

In that part.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

I need to tell myself that. That's why I said it to you.

[Melissa Butler]

You said fourth quarter almost broke you. I'm going to tell y' all a really quick story. That's an aside. So Janae and I did a collab last holiday. It was November. It launched. It was beautiful. It was fabulous. She was fabulous. All the things. Our items got held up in customs for six Weeks for drugs. Why? I don't know. Were we smuggling drugs? No. Why they decided to search them and hold our items for six weeks for drugs? I don't know. Still don't know. But when I tell you that was a time that I was panicking because we had to be very vulnerable and open. And I don't know if you were getting crazy messages like, my order is taking too long and we had to just address people. And, you know, sometimes people don't necessarily want to read or, you know, but we are sending, I don't know, maybe five different emails on sort of like, what's happening. And when I say Q4 almost took me out, I mean it almost took me out. I don't even remember the question. But when you said that, I had a flashback to what was happening, my Q4, and I was like, oh, yeah, last, you know, four months ago, it was, it was a. It was a storm. But I would tell myself to just be confident, to be confident and in who I am and the mistakes that I would make and my ability to do exactly what I set out to do. Beauty is so male dominated. It is dominated by white French men. So period. And so going into it, even though they were not thinking about my customer when we started, you know, it's been really challenging to navigate, you know, pushing on our suppliers, pushing on our retailers to remind them that, like, I actually know more about my customer than you. And sometimes it gets really easy to listen to the powers that be, those manufacturers, those suppliers, those retailers. And so in those early days, I wish I would have reminded myself that, like, I am starting because there, there is a gap that they don't see and to just do it scared. And so I was so scared in those early days because I didn't know anything. I was on Wall Street. I went from Wall street to beauty. I knew nothing about it. And so if I would have had the confidence those early days to keep pushing on some of those more challenging conversations, I think we would have had a different path. And our path was still fine. It was still ours, and I'm still very proud of it. But early on, it would have been a confidence conversation.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

Isn't it crazy when you look back at those times, though, you talk about confidence and not being hard on yourself. Once you make it out of it, it's like you had no idea what was on the other side. But, God, I'm so grateful I made it to the other side. Right. I think that's a great note to end the conversation on ladies, you guys have been amazing, and I hope you know, for everyone who's been out here listening to this conversation, you realize, number one, that nobody has it all figured out. Because these ladies right here, if you follow them anywhere on Social, you buy any of their product, I swear by Lip Bar, I love your content.

[Janae]

It feels like they have it all

[Moderator/Interviewer]

figured out, but you hear them say they're figuring things out as well. They're figuring out, they're fixing, they're maneuvering, but they're doing it. They're doing it scared. They're doing it in front of the world. So we commend you, ladies. Congratulations on everything. And. Yeah, girl. You got it, y'.

[Melissa Butler]

All.

[Moderator/Interviewer]

The birthday.

[Janae (Brown Girl Grinding)]

Okay, thank you.

[Lauren LaRosa]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Janae]

Guaranteed human.