Co Parenting Ain't For The Weak ( Jess Hilarious and Rome interview )

The Latest with Loren LoRosa
Episode: “Co Parenting Ain’t For The Weak” (Jess Hilarious and Rome Interview)
Date: May 1, 2026
Host: Loren LoRosa – The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts

Overview

This candid and lively episode features a heartfelt conversation between Loren LoRosa, comedian/author Jess Hilarious, and her co-parent and former partner, Rome. The discussion—based on Jess’s new book “To Death Dewy Parent”—dives into their tumultuous journey from young parents to mature co-parents, addressing generational trauma, emotional growth, and the ongoing work of raising a child together. The conversation is peppered with humor, realness, and occasionally tough truths, offering both practical and emotional lessons on parenting, relationships, and personal evolution.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Beginning: Young, Scared, and Pregnant

Jess’s Candid Recollection of Finding Out She Was Pregnant
- At 19, Jess discovered she was pregnant and was terrified, not just about breaking the news to Rome but also to her strict parents.
- Quote: “I was nervous. I knew I had missed my period… I knew I was pregnant. I was afraid that me telling him that I was pregnant would run him away because we were young and we just didn’t know what we were doing. We were babies ourselves.” (05:23)
Immediate vs. Lingering Fear
- The initial relief: Rome was happy about the pregnancy, giving Jess momentary comfort.
- The cycle of anxiety persisted through their relationship until feelings for each other were resolved.
- Quote: “That fear left, came back, left, came back. And it finally totally subsided once he and I got past our feelings for each other. Because then it was nothing else to be afraid of.” (08:49)

2. Generational Trauma & Patterns

Influence of Family Upbringing
- Rome discusses how he learned fatherhood by watching his dad and grandfather, who were present as providers and protectors, but not emotionally open or communicative.
- Quote: “My dad only protected and provided… Now that I’m vulnerable to talk about things and open up my feelings… My dad and my grandfather couldn’t do that.” (13:08)
Jess’s Perspective
- She reflects on how watching her own mother remain steadfast in difficult relationships influenced her tendency to “hold it down” for the men in her life.
- Both recognize the importance of breaking these inherited cycles for their children.
- Quote: “He’s trying to break those generational curses and create new patterns so his kids won’t have to go through the things that he went through.” (18:31)

3. Active Co-Parenting and Softening Masculinity

Rome’s Growth as a Father
- Rome admits he is actively working on being “softer” with his kids, especially his eldest son Ashton, to encourage open communication instead of instilling fear or emotional distance.
- Quote: “I’m just trying to be softer… I want my baby to be able to tell me everything because I couldn’t do that with my dad.” (20:16)
Respecting Children and Adjusting Parental Roles
- Both parents emphasize the need to adapt as children grow, highlighting that teenagers require new approaches and more nuanced conversations—especially about relationships and honesty.

4. Using Personal Stories to Educate Their Son and Future Generations

Authenticity in Storytelling
- Jess notes the honesty in her book is meant to serve as a roadmap for her son (and other kids) about what can happen—good or bad—when navigating love, mistakes, and co-parenting.
- Rome plans a second book from a father’s perspective to fill in gaps from Jess’s narrative.
- Quote: “Honesty will get you much, much further… It’s understanding and grace on a different level.” (23:11)

5. Vulnerability and Accountability: The LA Incident

A Raw Confession from Jess (Chapter 7)
- Jess recounts a painful period when another man left her son alone for hours while she worked, admitting her own dating mistakes and the guilt she felt as a mother.
- Quote: “I felt as a mom I dropped the ball because this is the [guy] I committed myself to… Trying to get over another guy… Not even for my son.” (30:16)
- Rome’s mature response is notable—he doesn’t blame Jess, recognizing that sometimes parents must trust others out of necessity, and the real fault lies with the untrustworthy caregiver.
- Quote: “Sometimes as parents, we gotta go to work… You expecting or trusting the school, the daycare, the home babysitter… to take care of your child. Right. And he failed at that.” (32:23)

6. Navigating Teenage Years and Maintaining the Co-Parenting Unit

Co-Parenting Challenges Through the Child’s Growth
- Both acknowledge the hardest part is continually re-learning your child as they mature.
- Rome shares the challenge of guiding his son through early romantic relationships, balancing discipline and allowing space for learning.
- Notable Moment: Ashton is caught juggling girlfriends, prompting Rome to reflect on how to handle these teen issues constructively.
- Quote: “He’s talking to other women, you know, and he cheating on his girlfriend… I don’t condone him doing that and I’m so serious.” (37:53)
Unified, But Distinctive, Parenting Approaches
- Lauren observes that the child benefits from both parental perspectives—even when Jess’s and Rome’s approaches contrast.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Early Pregnancy Fears (Jess):
“I Gotta tell this [man] that I’m pregnant too. You know what I’m saying? So it was definitely like…fear for everything. My life, my parents, my boyfriend…” (07:07)
On Breakthroughs About Parental Roles (Rome):
“Your father wasn’t a father. He was a provider. That’s two different things.” (14:28)
On Co-Parenting Lessons (Jess):
“Once you take feelings out of it and you understand how to give grace and understand how a person thinks, y’all will be— it’s nothing that nobody can tell y’all.” (24:11)
On Growth and Self-Awareness (Rome):
“The biggest thing that I’m at right now is trying to be more soft…With my children…so I can give him what to do before it go wrong, if that makes sense.” (19:15; 20:34)
On Vulnerability in Parenting Mistakes (Jess):
“I was afraid to tell you even in that moment…you’ve always held me high up in regards to being a mom… I just didn’t want that on my reputation from you.” (33:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

[05:23] Jess recounts finding out she’s pregnant at 19.
[08:49] How fear persisted and eventually subsided post-breakup.
[13:08] Rome discusses learning about fatherhood from his dad and grandfather.
[18:31] Breaking generational trauma and parenting patterns.
[20:16] Rome’s commitment to being a softer, more approachable father.
[23:11] Using honesty and their story to educate their son and others.
[30:16] Chapter 7 revelation: The LA incident (Jess’s painful confession).
[32:23] Rome’s non-reactive, understanding response to the LA story.
[36:12-37:53] The complexities of co-parenting a teenager; Ashton’s romantic escapades.

Final Thoughts & Resources

Book Availability: Jess’s “To Death Dewy Parent” is available in hardcover, paperback, audiobook (narrated by Jess herself), and ebook on all major platforms.
Quotes on Audiobook:
Jess: “If you always on the move and you don’t have time to sit down and read or if you can’t read, you can listen, guys. And I can read and I can write. That’s why I wrote the book. I just can’t read real fast, but I’m reading this book, and it is amazing.” (39:37)

Episode Takeaways

Co-parenting is a journey of constant growth, requiring emotional honesty, communication, and grace—not just with your co-parent, but with yourself.
Breaking generational patterns is hard but possible, and the work is never finished.
Parenting through mistakes, vulnerability, and humility can ultimately strengthen the family bond.

A must-listen for anyone interested in real, unfiltered co-parenting stories, generational healing, and the power of authentic communication within families.

Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Beginning: Young, Scared, and Pregnant

Jess’s Candid Recollection of Finding Out She Was Pregnant
- At 19, Jess discovered she was pregnant and was terrified, not just about breaking the news to Rome but also to her strict parents.
- Quote: “I was nervous. I knew I had missed my period… I knew I was pregnant. I was afraid that me telling him that I was pregnant would run him away because we were young and we just didn’t know what we were doing. We were babies ourselves.” (05:23)
Immediate vs. Lingering Fear
- The initial relief: Rome was happy about the pregnancy, giving Jess momentary comfort.
- The cycle of anxiety persisted through their relationship until feelings for each other were resolved.
- Quote: “That fear left, came back, left, came back. And it finally totally subsided once he and I got past our feelings for each other. Because then it was nothing else to be afraid of.” (08:49)

2. Generational Trauma & Patterns

Influence of Family Upbringing
- Rome discusses how he learned fatherhood by watching his dad and grandfather, who were present as providers and protectors, but not emotionally open or communicative.
- Quote: “My dad only protected and provided… Now that I’m vulnerable to talk about things and open up my feelings… My dad and my grandfather couldn’t do that.” (13:08)
Jess’s Perspective
- She reflects on how watching her own mother remain steadfast in difficult relationships influenced her tendency to “hold it down” for the men in her life.
- Both recognize the importance of breaking these inherited cycles for their children.
- Quote: “He’s trying to break those generational curses and create new patterns so his kids won’t have to go through the things that he went through.” (18:31)

3. Active Co-Parenting and Softening Masculinity

Rome’s Growth as a Father
- Rome admits he is actively working on being “softer” with his kids, especially his eldest son Ashton, to encourage open communication instead of instilling fear or emotional distance.
- Quote: “I’m just trying to be softer… I want my baby to be able to tell me everything because I couldn’t do that with my dad.” (20:16)
Respecting Children and Adjusting Parental Roles
- Both parents emphasize the need to adapt as children grow, highlighting that teenagers require new approaches and more nuanced conversations—especially about relationships and honesty.

4. Using Personal Stories to Educate Their Son and Future Generations

Authenticity in Storytelling
- Jess notes the honesty in her book is meant to serve as a roadmap for her son (and other kids) about what can happen—good or bad—when navigating love, mistakes, and co-parenting.
- Rome plans a second book from a father’s perspective to fill in gaps from Jess’s narrative.
- Quote: “Honesty will get you much, much further… It’s understanding and grace on a different level.” (23:11)

5. Vulnerability and Accountability: The LA Incident

A Raw Confession from Jess (Chapter 7)
- Jess recounts a painful period when another man left her son alone for hours while she worked, admitting her own dating mistakes and the guilt she felt as a mother.
- Quote: “I felt as a mom I dropped the ball because this is the [guy] I committed myself to… Trying to get over another guy… Not even for my son.” (30:16)
- Rome’s mature response is notable—he doesn’t blame Jess, recognizing that sometimes parents must trust others out of necessity, and the real fault lies with the untrustworthy caregiver.
- Quote: “Sometimes as parents, we gotta go to work… You expecting or trusting the school, the daycare, the home babysitter… to take care of your child. Right. And he failed at that.” (32:23)

6. Navigating Teenage Years and Maintaining the Co-Parenting Unit

Co-Parenting Challenges Through the Child’s Growth
- Both acknowledge the hardest part is continually re-learning your child as they mature.
- Rome shares the challenge of guiding his son through early romantic relationships, balancing discipline and allowing space for learning.
- Notable Moment: Ashton is caught juggling girlfriends, prompting Rome to reflect on how to handle these teen issues constructively.
- Quote: “He’s talking to other women, you know, and he cheating on his girlfriend… I don’t condone him doing that and I’m so serious.” (37:53)
Unified, But Distinctive, Parenting Approaches
- Lauren observes that the child benefits from both parental perspectives—even when Jess’s and Rome’s approaches contrast.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Early Pregnancy Fears (Jess):
“I Gotta tell this [man] that I’m pregnant too. You know what I’m saying? So it was definitely like…fear for everything. My life, my parents, my boyfriend…” (07:07)
On Breakthroughs About Parental Roles (Rome):
“Your father wasn’t a father. He was a provider. That’s two different things.” (14:28)
On Co-Parenting Lessons (Jess):
“Once you take feelings out of it and you understand how to give grace and understand how a person thinks, y’all will be— it’s nothing that nobody can tell y’all.” (24:11)
On Growth and Self-Awareness (Rome):
“The biggest thing that I’m at right now is trying to be more soft…With my children…so I can give him what to do before it go wrong, if that makes sense.” (19:15; 20:34)
On Vulnerability in Parenting Mistakes (Jess):
“I was afraid to tell you even in that moment…you’ve always held me high up in regards to being a mom… I just didn’t want that on my reputation from you.” (33:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

[05:23] Jess recounts finding out she’s pregnant at 19.
[08:49] How fear persisted and eventually subsided post-breakup.
[13:08] Rome discusses learning about fatherhood from his dad and grandfather.
[18:31] Breaking generational trauma and parenting patterns.
[20:16] Rome’s commitment to being a softer, more approachable father.
[23:11] Using honesty and their story to educate their son and others.
[30:16] Chapter 7 revelation: The LA incident (Jess’s painful confession).
[32:23] Rome’s non-reactive, understanding response to the LA story.
[36:12-37:53] The complexities of co-parenting a teenager; Ashton’s romantic escapades.

Final Thoughts & Resources

Book Availability: Jess’s “To Death Dewy Parent” is available in hardcover, paperback, audiobook (narrated by Jess herself), and ebook on all major platforms.
Quotes on Audiobook:
Jess: “If you always on the move and you don’t have time to sit down and read or if you can’t read, you can listen, guys. And I can read and I can write. That’s why I wrote the book. I just can’t read real fast, but I’m reading this book, and it is amazing.” (39:37)

Episode Takeaways

Co-parenting is a journey of constant growth, requiring emotional honesty, communication, and grace—not just with your co-parent, but with yourself.
Breaking generational patterns is hard but possible, and the work is never finished.
Parenting through mistakes, vulnerability, and humility can ultimately strengthen the family bond.

A must-listen for anyone interested in real, unfiltered co-parenting stories, generational healing, and the power of authentic communication within families.

wavePod

Summary

Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Beginning: Young, Scared, and Pregnant

2. Generational Trauma & Patterns

3. Active Co-Parenting and Softening Masculinity

4. Using Personal Stories to Educate Their Son and Future Generations

5. Vulnerability and Accountability: The LA Incident

6. Navigating Teenage Years and Maintaining the Co-Parenting Unit

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Final Thoughts & Resources

Episode Takeaways

Transcript

Summary

Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Beginning: Young, Scared, and Pregnant

2. Generational Trauma & Patterns

3. Active Co-Parenting and Softening Masculinity

4. Using Personal Stories to Educate Their Son and Future Generations

5. Vulnerability and Accountability: The LA Incident

6. Navigating Teenage Years and Maintaining the Co-Parenting Unit

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Final Thoughts & Resources

Episode Takeaways