Dating/Relationship Confessions ( Ari Lennox on toxic love and Michelle Obama gets real about marriage)

Summary

Podcast Summary – The Latest with Loren LoRosa Episode: Dating/Relationship Confessions (Ari Lennox on toxic love and Michelle Obama gets real about marriage) Date: March 12, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Latest with Loren LoRosa dives into candid conversations about dating and relationships, focusing on the emotional journeys of two major figures: R&B artist Ari Lennox and former First Lady Michelle Obama. Host Loren LaRosa discusses the complexities of modern dating, women's changing perspectives on love, and marriage's long-game realities. Real, unfiltered confessions highlight personal growth, self-awareness, and the work it takes to build lasting relationships – all wrapped in Lauren’s trademark honest, relatable style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Behind-the-Scenes: Culture, Conversation, and the Power of Media (03:55)

• Loren shares excitement about an upcoming South by Southwest panel on HIV prevention with music artist Ciara.
• Emphasizes how "culture and media shape conversations we don't always want to have," especially within hip-hop and R&B communities.
• Lauren’s belief: "We underestimate the impact that we have, especially in areas like media, hip-hop, R&B. I really think we underestimate how much we make things cool" (05:17).

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2. Ari Lennox’s Journey: From Toxic Love to Self-Accountability (06:30–14:06)

Ari Lennox’s "Vacancy" Album & the Dating Tug-of-War (06:30)

• Ari’s new album Vacancy explores the push-pull cycle of finding love, losing oneself in another, experiencing heartbreak, and regaining autonomy.
• Loren: "It's that tug of war that dating actually is...you figure out who you want to occupy your space." (07:32)

Public Scrutiny for Women Who Date (07:45)

• Loren reflects on Lori Harvey’s media coverage and the double standard for women exploring varied relationships in public.
• "Every time I hear someone complain about her and a dating situation...I'm like, she's human. That is how you figure out what not being vacant in your space looks like." (08:14)

Ari Lennox on Why She Chose Toxic Partners (08:47–09:56)

• Ari Lennox (via interview clip):
  • “I think I have a thing for toxic energy. So I think there's still some more healing that I need to do.” (08:47)
  • "When I look back...it's a shame. I gave them so much time and there were sweet energies that I didn’t. And so now I see those sweet energies, getting married and starting families, I'm just like, dang, that probably could have been me." (08:59)
• On Attraction to Toxicity:
  • "I think they just seem really exciting at first. The chemistry is incredible...sometimes it’s convenience." (09:25)
  • “The sweeter energies that I felt like weren’t for me, I felt I could see myself falling asleep a little bit on the phone.” (09:49)

Loren’s Personal Reflection on Toxic vs. Secure Love (10:00–13:40)

• Loren relates personally, noting many women endure similar phases: "I don't know any woman who has not been through this phase of her life." (09:59)
• "My relationship right now...it couldn't have been, ‘You're the nice guy and I don’t want to be with you because it's boring.’ I'm at a point where I need someone who's going to get me in check, but I'm also just valuing and loving myself so much differently." (10:49)
• On breaking unhealthy patterns: "It's like walking outside on a 90-degree day...dressed for rain...because you expect something bad to happen." (12:00)
• Loren stresses the importance of honesty and growth: "When you get to the point where you can be so honest with yourself, even if you're still doing the things you have to sit yourself down and question, that's a different level of transition and growth." (13:33)

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3. Michelle Obama on Surviving Tough Years in Marriage (17:15–21:00)

Conversation Context (17:15)

• Loren sets up a discussion from the podcast In My Own Opinion with Michelle Obama, her brother Craig Robinson, and actors Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bath.
• Highlights Michelle Obama’s openness about marriage: "There were 10 some years that were not good with her and Barack Obama. But comparing that to all the other years, it was worth the fight." (17:45)

Children and Marital Challenges (18:45–20:55)

• Michelle Obama (original audio):
  • "Sometimes without kids, some of the tough times wouldn’t happen. The thing that makes [marriage] harder is when those beautiful, wonderful, lovely kids that we all want and love, they show up...Now it’s the first major joint project that you have to do together. And that’s when the hard starts." (18:54)
  • "A lot of our hard was because of the kids who we love deeply. Without them, a lot of the hard things don't come up." (19:30)
  • “The level of muscle that Barack and I have in our marriage is earned. It’s earned over time. And it’s only gotten better…If you quit too soon, you’ll rob yourself of the success of the better, the work that goes in.” (20:38)

Real Talk on Relationships (21:00)

• Loren praises Michelle Obama’s candor: "She tells the truth...it doesn’t always feel good...but they figure it out." (21:00)
• Notes that in any relationship, “there’s always a point where one person might check out, but the other is still fighting for it.” (21:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ari Lennox:
  • “I think I have a thing for toxic energy. So I think there's still some more healing I need to do.” (08:47)
  • “There were sweet energies that I didn’t [choose]. So now I see those sweet energies, getting married and starting families, I'm just like, dang, that probably could have been me.” (09:06)
• Loren LaRosa:
  • "I don't know any woman who has not been through this phase of her life...we as women, so many women I know have been through this, felt like if things were good, if we were being loved on the right way, there’s something wrong." (09:59, 11:09)
  • "What I love about Ari Lennox in this conversation...it's just very honest. It’s not about trying to be relatable – it’s really just honest." (13:48)
• Michelle Obama:
  • "Sometimes without kids, some of the tough times wouldn't happen...The thing that makes [marriage] harder is when those beautiful, wonderful, lovely kids...show up...that's when the hard starts." (18:54)
  • “The level of muscle that Barack and I have in our marriage is earned...if you quit too soon, you’ll rob yourself of the success of the better, the work that goes in.” (20:38)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:55 – Loren’s behind-the-scenes look at her SXSW panel and reflections on culture’s impact
• 06:30 – Introduction to Ari Lennox’s new album and dating commentary
• 08:47–09:56 – Ari Lennox on choosing toxic energy and regrets about missing out on “sweet energies”
• 10:00–13:40 – Loren’s personal narrative on patterns in women’s dating journeys
• 17:15 – Introduction of Michelle Obama’s conversation about marriage
• 18:54–20:38 – Michelle Obama on how children strain (and ultimately strengthen) marriages
• 21:00 – Loren connects Michelle's and Ari's honesty to a broader conversation about relationships and resilience
• 25:23 – Loren’s closing thoughts; call for feedback on Ari Lennox’s journey and the Obama marriage

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Closing Thoughts & Listener Engagement

Loren wraps up by encouraging empathy for Ari Lennox, praising her vulnerability and music’s reflection of real-life struggles. She urges listeners not to judge others’ relationship phases and appreciates Ari's transparency:

"Leave my girl Ari Lennox alone. Everybody has their phases and their stages that they must go through." (25:23)

Listeners are invited to share their thoughts via social media or the iHeart app talkback feature, weighing in on both Ari Lennox’s confessions and Michelle Obama’s candid look at marriage and parenthood.

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Summary:
This episode masterfully blends celebrity insights with relatable real-life relationship wisdom, featuring raw confessions about modern dating and marriage. Loren LoRosa spotlights the necessity of honesty, growth, and patience—whether you’re on the journey to self-love like Ari Lennox or working through marriage’s toughest years like Michelle Obama.

Transcript

[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody exclusive. You know she don't lie about that, right?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Lauren came in hot.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa and this is another episode of the Latest with Lauren LaRosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news and all of the conversations that shake the room. Now checking in behind the scenes of the grind. We are literally on a countdown so we hit the road. I've been talking to you guys about this every single episode but really excited for a conversation that I'll be joining. Now I can give you guys a little bit more detail. So if you will be at south by Southwest this weekend coming which is the weekend of March 15th. I will be on a panel with a health professional and artist, music artist Sierra on Saturday, March 14th and we'll be having a conversation about HIV prevention and how entertainment and culture helps us to start having the conversations that like we don't want to have to make sure prevention is a thing that that's actually happening and I'm really excited for that conversation. Y' all know I love to talk, love to get into the things, but I love when conversations intertwined with culture, pop culture. I think that we underestimate the impact that we have especially in areas like media, hip Hop R and B. I really think we underestimate how much we make things cool and how much we make things the thing to do. So excited to be on this panel and be having this conversation. And that's what my behind the Scenes of the Grind has been like. I've been kind of like just resting and getting through work and resting as much as I can because this weekend, baby, we are outside. But speaking of conversations and how culture and impact and real conversations come together, let's get into a few real conversations that are happening right now that we just cannot ignore. So our girl Ari Lennox, she was over in LA on effective Immediately with my bro DJ Head and my sis, Gina Views, and they were having a conversation about music and where she is in life today in her new project, Vacancy now the project's fire. We interviewed her on the Breakfast Club. Go and check that out in full on on Netflix if you have not already. But the project is all about this, like, back and forth struggle of I found someone. This person is making me feel good. I'm not baking anymore. My space is occupied. And then, boom. This person is toxic. It makes no sense. This person is leaving me empty. And I'm walking away, and now I'm vacant again. And now I'm here and I'm looking and I'm trying to figure it out, and I'm inviting new people into my space. It's that tug of war that dating actually is, where it's like you figure out what your space is that you even want occupied. You figure out how you want to do it. You. You figure out who you want to do it, right? Like who you want to occupy your space. But you're. It's so up and down about what that. Who looks like. Like, I think most people don't like having these conversations when it comes to the woman's side of things and women being actually able to get out there and date. We talked about Lori Harvey and Damson Idris on this podcast and, you know, a big splash that they made in the news recently with their dating life. If you didn't listen to that episode, go back and take a listen. And the reason why I bring up Lori Harvey in this is because people love to give Lori Harvey such a hard time for dating, for going out dating people, figuring out what she likes, what she doesn't like. And I mean, it's a lot more public because she is the daughter of Steve Harvey and she's become a figure and a fixture and culture of her own. And she's also dating Men who are high profile and very well known as well too. But every time I hear someone complain about her and a dating situation or the fact that she may have moved on or may have broken up with someone, I'm like, woody, like she's human. That is how you figure out what not being vacant in your space looks like. You got to figure out who you want to check in and who you need to check out. So Ari Lennox is on that journey right now. And the album literally is the R B neo soul soundtrack to that. Right? So she's, you know, over on effective immediately with DJ Head and Gina views, and they get into a conversation about just dating. And, you know, from having a conversation myself with Ari Lennox, I feel like she's in a season of accountability that I haven't seen from her. And I've been a fan of her for a very long time. And I'm not mad at it whatsoever. And I don't know why it's making people so upset. But here's what she had to say about the fact that she chooses toxic men over nice men who would treat her nice. And that's why she thinks she isn't married. Let's take a listen.

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I think I have a thing for toxic energy. So I think there's still some more

[Lauren LaRosa]

healing that I need to do. Because when I look back on all

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

of these energies, it's a shame.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I gave them so much time and

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

there were sweet energies that I didn't. And so now I see those sweet energies, getting married and starting families, I'm just like, dang, that probably could have been me. If I recognize the security in those

[Lauren LaRosa]

individuals at the time. And like now, like, yeah, I'm definitely feeling that now.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I'm aware that there's something going on, there's something wrong.

[Lauren LaRosa]

What do you think it is that attracts you to, like, toxic energy?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I think they just seem really exciting at first. The chemistry is incredible. And they don't even always be fine.

[Lauren LaRosa]

It's not even that.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Like, they're sexy or something. I mean, well, they're sexy, but they don't be the finest things I've ever seen. It's just an energy. It's sometimes it's convenience. What we talk about a lot of those. The sweeter energies that I felt like weren't for me.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I felt I could see myself falling asleep a little bit on the phone. So I don't know if that's like.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

If boring is good or not. Like, I'm trying to figure out what that means.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Like, it's the thrill. Yeah, it's the thrill of it. Yeah. Can I just say that I don't know any woman who has not been through this phase of her life. Like, I. I don't. Maybe some more drastic than others, right? Like, maybe some, you know, have allowed more than others, have stayed in situations longer than others, you know, are. Are in this mood, in this phase, a little bit older than others. Because I know me right now myself, the relationship I'm in, it couldn't have been that. Like, it couldn't have been, oh my God, you're the nice guy. I don't want to be with you because it's. It's boring. No. Like, I am at a point where, yes, I do. I definitely need someone that is, like, gonna get me in check and gonna get me together, okay? Because I can get. I could take it there. But I'm also just valuing and loving on myself so much differently than I was when I thought that that type of thing was like, it for me. And I thought that was cute. My. Like, how I am about myself today wouldn't even allow me to. To entertain the type of energy that Ari Lennox is talking about. But I don't knock her for being there because I was there and in me being there and once I started to come up out of it, like. And it's not that. And it's not that the relationship I'm in right now or the marriage I will be in with st. You know, my. My partner, now it's all the way perfect whatsoever. But the fact that we as women, and so many women I know have been through this felt like if things were good, if we were being loved on the right way, there's something wrong. And I still have my moments. Don't get me wrong. Like I said, my moments where I'm random, like, you really love me, like, you tell me you like. And it's. And it's so crazy. Nothing's wrong. Like. Like, it's like walking outside on a 90 degree day with their sun and no rain. And you're dressed for the rain because it's just like. Well, I know it rains in the world, so I'm gonna just dress like this. Like, that's literally what that's like. And I don't know why our mind and our psyches do that to us as women. And I think, you know, if I'm being honest with you, coming out of the, like, that mental space and that. That aura that Ari Lennox is talking about, you get so traumatized by manipulation and it becomes such a. A consistent pattern of, like, this is too good to be true. And I think it's not even about, like, manipulation from men in relationships, because, you know, some people listening to this will be like, never been there, never been that, never experienced that. Sometimes that comes from life. Like, I don't know about y', all, but I know even in life, like, there are times where I'm like, God, you doing your thing a little bit too much. Like, what's about to happen, what's going on? And the fact that we even question that, as if we're not supposed to have good things in life when you work for them, or, you know, when you. You faced it through your journey the way that. That you were supposed to, or just, you know, like, you show up for God, he going to show up for you is insane. If you study for your test and you do well on your test, you wouldn't go and ask your teacher, like, why do I got a. A? You crazy? But we do it anyway. And I think watching people be upset at Ari Lennox for making these comments, I'm like, I wish the world was a lot more honest about the things that we actually go through as human beings. Because what I love about Ari Lennox in this conversation is. And in any conversation that I'm seeing her in throughout this, like, you know, this accountability phase that she's in, it's just very honest. And it's very. It's not even about trying to be relatable. It's really just honest. And I think when you get to the point where, like, you could be honest with yourself to, like, literally so honest with yourself, where even if you're still doing the things that you're having to sit yourself down and be like, are you crazy about? That's a different level of, like, transition and growth that's about to happen in your life.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

lenovo

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Now let's get to Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson and the conversation they had with Sterling K. Brown and his wife, Ryan Michelle Bath. Now both Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bath are actors. No, they act. And the conversation was very wide range. It was about an hour long conversation on the In My Own Opinion podcast. And what I love about Michelle Obama's conversation is exactly what I'm telling you guys. I took from Ari Lennox, like, and people, they, I hate to put these words together, drag and Michelle Obama because I feel like she's our forever first lady. Don't ever play with her. But what people love to drag Michelle Obama about in this phase of her life where she's honest and talking us through things as a human, not just as a first lady, but as a human who has had children, who has been married 30 plus years, who has, you know, loved the Same man for 30 plus, she tells the truth. So they're having the conversation about Michelle Obama. You know, she's, she's been very vocal about the fact that there were 10 some years that were not good with her and Barack Obama. But comparing that to y' all the other years, it was worth the fight. And in having that conversation, Sterling K. Brown asked Michelle Obama basically, did she, did they only make it through because of the kids? Which is, which is a common thing as well too with married couples, especially once you've already put the time in and you know all the things. And I thought that this was a very, like, he was very bold for asking this question. But when I, when I heard him ask it, I'm like, I've never thought about that with her and Barack Obama because it seems like, I don't know, like they're, they're former president, former first lady. They have the perfect family. Like there was no other option but for them to figure it out. But that's not true. They're humans. Let's take a listen to how Michelle Obama answered that. If kids were not a part of the equation in terms of like, do you think that some of the tough times may have led to a separation that didn't. Sometimes without kids, some of the tough times wouldn't happen. Right? Facts. And this is why I say, look, it's great when it's just you two, you know, and because there really isn't challenges with division of labor because everybody can be their own individual people, you go off, do your movie. Yay. Yay. We have our separate lives and then it's romantic, we get back together. The thing that makes that harder is when those beautiful, wonderful, lovely kids that we all want and love, they show up. Yes, ma'. Am. With their own agendas, you know, with their own needs. And now it's the first major joint project that you have to do together. And that's when the hard starts, you know, So I think a lot of our hard was because of the kids who we love deeply. But I think without it, without them, you know, a lot of the hard things don't come up. Right? Cause you could, you can go to the gym all you want when there are no diapers to be changed. Thank you. You know, you could do whatever you want. Who's driving? Do you know how to the Michelle's have been talking. Do you know how to make a dental appointment? Do you know where they go to the doctor? Do you know their doctor's name? You started it. Look, the level of muscle that Barack and I have in our marriage is earned. It's earned over time. And it's only gotten better. And I think that's the point. It gets better and then if you quit too soon, you'll rob yourself of the success of the better, the work that goes in.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Love it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Love it. Like, and that's the duality of like, growth and womanhood and love. It's like, because even Michelle Ryan, Michelle Bath and Stella K. Brown, they have a podcast called We Don't Always get along, and they're literally on Michelle Obama's podcast with her and her brother Craig and are talking about the fact that, like, it doesn't always feel good, the conversations, the relationship, a lot of things. It doesn't, but they figure it out. And they even talk about at one point where like, one person might check out and be like, I ain't doing this. No, not happening. I'm good. But there's still one person there fighting for the relationship.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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Support for the show comes from Public the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc, SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures in the

heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming [e-mail] Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors for the next era of gaming. Upgrade to smooth high quality streaming with Intel Wi Fi 6e and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech Search power [e-mail] lenovo

[Lauren LaRosa]

Lenovo

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

to say here is leave my guard Ari Lennox alone. Everybody has their phases and their stages that they must go through. And a lot of us go through the same ones just with different people at different times of our lives. But I think once you get to this, like, stage of growth, we. We tend to forget. And I think that's what makes our Lennox so amazing as an artist is like. Like, she's just very honest about what she's dealing with, and it makes you relate to the music even more. Like, when I listened to the project, I knew. I'm like, oh, baby girl is dating, and she is trying to figure it out. And the only reason why I knew that is because I, I before getting into a relationship, I was dating. And I know what it's like to feel like, okay, I have this space, I have my boundaries that I've set up up, and I'm allowing you to come into it. And I understand the reference of, like, comparing that to a hotel and checking in and checking out and, you know, fixing up the hotel and fixing up the rooms and fixing up what it looks like when people walk into your life, especially after other people walk out. Across the board, everybody's just trying to figure it out, y', all. Period. That's it. That's all. Everybody is just trying to figure it out. And I appreciate the good conversations they're having in the midst of it. It let me know how y' all are feeling, though. Number one, are you where Ari Linux is at? How do you feel about what she said? I want to hear from you guys. I'm Lauren LaRosa. Everywhere. L O R E N L O R O S A let's really talk about it. There is also a talk back feature on the I Heart app. If you download the I Heart app, you'll find the talkback feature there. You can literally go there, click the talkback feature, and talk back to me. My lowriders. I want y' all to get outside in the streets. In the tweets. I want to hear it. Ari Lennox. Is she crazy? Do you feel her? Why are people so upset? And on the other end of things, on the married end of things, do you think that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, after hearing everything that Michelle Obama has said very openly about the issues that they went through, if there were no babies involved, would we have had the first family that we had in that White House during the time? I'm Lauren LaRosa. This has been another episode of the Latest with Lauren LaRosa Tell you guys every single episode. Look, y' all could be anywhere with any old body talking about all of the things, but you guys choose to be right here with me every single day. My lowriders. I appreciate you guys. I'll catch you in my next episode.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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