Lauren LaRosa (14:09)
And I think, you know, in looking at this, and I did try and reach out and have a new refreshed conversation around this with Vivica Fox, to no avail. Um, but I think in. In. In, you know, having the conversation I had with her and seeing the way that people reacted, you know, to her, even in her mentioning this conversation, I do remember there was a time where Vivica Fox, you know, and 50 were going back and forth, you know, the thing they were doing amongst their shows. And 50 Cent's girlfriend at the time, Cuba Link, had got involved, and, you know, she said some things that weren't too flattering of Vivica Fox. And the world quickly reminded Cuban Link and everybody else that thought that, you know, those comments were cute. You cannot play with Hollywood royalty. Black television, black movie, black it girl royalty, which is what Vivica Fox is. So when I see people have conversations about the fact that she's expressing herself and what this relationship meant to her, didn't mean, did to her, I'm like, y', all, that is her business to be able to do. So you got people out here. And this is the thing, too, that bothers me. Like, I feel like when it comes to women, when we have conversations about relationships in our. Our, you know, what we demand in relationship, not even what we demand, but, like, just what we want in relationships, what we don't want in relationships, how relationships have affected us, depending on the person and depending on how we talk about it, we're dragged. Like, we are not allowed to be these, like, women needs these people, these beings that are just out here figuring things out, dating, learning what we like, what we don't like. Like, think about the fact that, like, right now as take any woman in Hollywood, any single woman in Hollywood right now, let's take Trace Ellis Ross, for example, Tracee Ellis Ross has talked a lot about, you know, being single, you know, not having kids and enjoying her life at this point without all of the things in dating. Right. She's also talked about deciding to keep her business to herself when it comes to dating. And I know a lot of women that do this, especially industry wise or if they, you know, they're influencers, they have a little buzz or whatever the case may be. Right. Because as a woman, you don't get the ability to date a man. Experience that, learn from it, dislike it, talk about it, use it in any type of creative. Taylor Swift is dragged every time she writes about an ex. Summer Walker gets dragged every time she talks or writes about an ex. And, you know, and granted, I'm not saying that every woman and every decision that they're making with the men that they're dating are great decisions. That is not the argument here. What I'm saying is, is who are we to tell these women that they can't make them decisions and can't do that? If Tracee Ellis Ross today were to go out on a date in public and be seen with somebody, even if the date is just her casually getting to know somebody, she is now marked by that person that she was seen with. And literally, it could have just been like a coffee date. But if you're a man and you're seen out and you're, you know, dating a person or whatever, multiple different people, it just doesn't stick the same. And I think people don't understand that, period. I think if you're a woman who is not in a certain space, which is crazy to me because I feel like you don't got to be famous to understand that as a woman, you know, your account is your count. What is, what is, what is thrown on your name and your reputation when it comes to dating, when it comes to men, when it comes to, you know, all of that sticks way harder than it does any man in any similar situation. But especially with women in the spotlight, I think we give them such a hard time about these decisions that they're making and their reactions to the decisions and how they handle them. When it's like, it could have really been a situation that, like, really stopped, you know, things in her. As she said, she had to go back and rebuild her career after taking on certain roles and being the sexy girl and the girlfriend and, you know, being spotted with all of the guys. And that's just a thing. Why are y' all mad at Vivica Fox for expressing Something she might have learned. Maybe she had to learn. Yo, you don't want the big name celebrity rapper. You don't, because it overshadows your work. It overshadows, you know, your own career. It overshadows all of the hard work you put into things. Like, why is that an issue? We only do it with women. If a man were to come out and say, for instance, Nick Cannon is a perfect example. And Nick Cannon, not everybody loves his commentary when he talks about Mariah Carey. I think every now and then he does get that, oh, here you go again. But at the same time, Nick Cannon is allowed to have conversations about his experiences in dating Mariah Carey, who was a, you know, super. I mean, in the canon, it was Nick Cannon, but it's Mariah Carey at the time, right? He gets to talk about that. He gets to talk about how it. It really messed with his ego. He gets to talk about the fact that he had to take a step back and really take a look in and say, hey, why did that bother me? Why was I so challenged in that relationship as a man? Like, why did her status and the things that she's accomplished, you know, make me feel lesser than or make me feel like I had to poke my chest out in certain situations? And then our relationship didn't work. We call these conversations healing. And, you know, he's tapping in with himself and he's maturing, but when a woman does it, oh, Lord, here she go again talking about that relationship. She can't get over that man. And I'm here for the back and forth. You know, it's entertaining because, you know, the minute 50 cent is mentioned, you know, he is coming. And he had similar, you know, sentiments than, like, what I saw online. So 50 Cent posted a photo of himself with the red pill, blue pill. And in the photo, the caption says, either way, I'mma have that ass in the Matrix. You know, I love me some you, girl, but Damn, it's been 22 years, Vivica. Question for the audience, question for the people in the room. Why can't women talk about what they've learned in relationships and it not be, well, damn. Still, honestly, I feel like anytime a woman is talking about anything relationship wise, especially something that has turned her off, she doesn't like. She has had to learn from her. She's had to move on. We are either difficult, we're bitter, we're stuck on past situations. We. We want too much, our expectations are too high or just unrealistic, or we don't know how to, like, create a safe space for a man to be, like, vulnerable and all these things because we don't want to settle for certain things. And maybe this is the woman in me speaking. Am I being biased? I want to hear from the men as well. How do y' all feel? Do you feel like as a man? Because I know sometimes men get called sassy, but most of the time it's the men with the podcast mics. And let's be honest, a lot of them do be a little sassy, a little seasoned, little sass owned. But men, do y' all feel like you guys are able to have open conversations about what you've learned in relationships, how you've learned it, what you've liked, what you did not like, and how is it proceed? Because I feel like when I'm watching men do it both in a, you know, very open, big entertainment industry or just even on podcasts or online, women love hearing an evolved king. Yes. Men love seeing men in spaces, being able to express themselves, because according to you guys, women don't allow you to space to. But the minute we do it, I'mma get chewed up for this video. The minute we do it, we are bitter. We can't move on. Oh, they love to say we don't know our worth because we're, we're, you know, we don't want to be here. We're figuring it out there. Like, don't have dated around. And I don't mean like you out here just throwing it in, throwing it in a circle for everybody. I mean, like, you are honestly a single woman who has decided to be single until you figure out what it is that you want. So you're dating and experiencing different people. Then you fatherless, you a hoe. You don't know. It's just, I don't understand, like, what are we supposed to do? Like, can we date? Can we learn? Can we grow? Can we use it to teach the next generation of young girls coming up about, hey, this is what you should not do or nah, y' all let me know.
