The Lazy Genius Podcast

Episode 444: 10 Ways to Simplify a Holiday Gathering

Host: Kendra Adachi, The Lazy Genius
Date: November 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Kendra Adachi offers practical and compassionate advice for making holiday gatherings less stressful and more meaningful. True to her “Lazy Genius” philosophy—be a genius about what matters and lazy about what doesn’t—Kendra shares ten approachable strategies to simplify big family meals and celebrations, plus bonus tips on group games, an inspiring “Lazy Genius of the Week,” and a mini pep talk for when you feel overwhelmed.

Main Discussion Points

[00:00–05:20] Introduction and Philosophy

• Kendra emphasizes this show is not about maximizing time or productivity but about finding contentment and compassion in each season of life.
• She encourages listeners to focus only on what actually matters to them and to let go of perfectionism and unnecessary tasks:

  "Here, we do things differently. We value contentment, compassion, and living in our season." — Kendra (02:00)

[05:21–10:04] Two Favorite Tips from the Archive

1. Plan the Easiest Meals Leading Up to the Gathering:

   • Make low-effort, familiar meals before the big event. Don’t stress over dinner when you’re busy prepping for guests or traveling—that’s what “plan your hot dogs” means.
   • “Plan them, just plan your hot dogs and then enjoy the margin of having the decision made.” — Kendra (06:08)

2. Assume the Best Intentions:

   • Enter tense family situations assuming people are acting out of stress or distraction, not malice.
   • “Even if you’re wrong...you are starting from a kinder place, making the navigation of their decision just a little bit softer.” — Kendra (07:24)

The 10 Ways to Simplify a Holiday Gathering

“You don’t have to do ANY of these… This is a list of ways to leave things behind if they don't actually matter to you.” — Kendra (12:12)

1. Let the Food Be Your Table Decor [12:25]

• Skip elaborate tablescapes if they stress you out; bubbling cheese and a golden turkey are beautiful on their own.
• “If you are someone who finds tablescapes...stressful and unnecessary for your own personal table, what would you think about just making the food the decoration?” — Kendra (13:10)

2. Serve Fewer Things [14:27]

• Don’t feel pressured to offer 15 dishes; stick to the crowd favorites.
• “You don't need three kinds of potatoes. One is great. I mean, so is three, but one isn't any worse than three.” — Kendra (15:00)

3. Use Your Local Bakery [16:15]

• Outsource desserts and breads—support local bakers and lighten your load.
• “Unless you love baking pies...you could also turn to a professional who does this as a small business and they love it.” — Kendra (17:10)

4. Only Have One or Two “Ornery” Dishes [18:36]

• Limit complicated, time-sensitive recipes. Most dishes can wait or be reheated; don’t add stress with too many fiddly foods.
• “If you have too many ornery foods, you're gonna have a stressful holiday gathering. And we're trying to simplify that stress, not add to it.” — Kendra (19:45)

5. Pad Your Timing [20:45]

• Expect delays—add 15–30 minutes to your meal prep timeline, so you’re not sweating last-minute chaos.
• “By padding your time...you can just be like, ‘Hey, our meal’s ready. Let’s get drinks and gather around.’” — Kendra (22:05)

6. Play Overrated/Underrated [23:14]

• Use a casual game (like naming an everyday thing and voting if it’s overrated or underrated) to spark easy, fun conversations that everyone can join.
• “It allows people to have an opinion around super low-risk topics...Strong opinions about unimportant topics. It's a fun hang, man.” — Kendra (24:22)

7. Embrace a “Yes, And” Attitude [25:34]

• Borrowing from improv, Kendra suggests responding generously to others’ ideas and requests, where safe.
• “Generosity of spirit is one of the best ways to simplify just about anything, even if it's just within yourself.” — Kendra (27:15)

8. Lighten Up Your Gratitude [28:00]

• Avoid forced “what are you thankful for” rounds; instead, ask about favorite dishes, happy memories, or fun specifics.
• “Lighten up the gratitude so that it scratches the itch...But it’s separate enough from that energy that someone...can still participate without a lot of pushback or pressure.” — Kendra (29:19)

9. Ask Great Questions [30:12]

• Prepare a few engaging, open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing and everyone feeling connected.
• Example questions:
  • What's a movie that if it's on TV, you have to finish it?
  • What's an anti-pet peeve—something tiny that brings you big joy?
  • What was your go-to karaoke song?
• “Having a few great questions in your pocket can help keep things rolling and connective where everyone feels seen and important.” — Kendra (31:42)

10. Be Thoughtful, Not Impressive [33:25]

• Focus on caring for guests, not wowing them; set up comfort and delight without seeking validation.
• “Being thoughtful does not require anyone to say anything to you about what you did. Being impressive absolutely requires someone else saying something to you...” — Kendra (34:30)

[35:22] Bonus: Favorite Group Games

Kendra’s go-to party and family games:

• Codenames: Great for larger groups and building connection.
• Hues and Q’s: Fun color guessing for all ages.
• Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza: Silly, slap-happy card game, perfect for kids.
• Bananagrams: Fast-paced word play—her personal favorite.
• Just One: Cooperative word guessing.
• What Do You Meme? (Family Edition): Meme-caption matching, like Apples to Apples but sillier.
• Post-It Note Game: Classic “Who Am I?” guess-the-name game with nothing but sticky notes.

“Games are just so much fun to play. You also might be reminded of a game you already have in your cabinet...” — Kendra (40:36)

[42:24] Lazy Genius of the Week

Highlight: Claire Da Silva’s “Thanksgiving Spinner Dinner”

• Claire’s family adapted their tradition because her spouse is on call at the hospital. Instead of hosting or traveling, they’re having a “spinner dinner”—a favorite appetizer-style meal served on a turntable, making an otherwise disappointing holiday feel special and fun.
• “This is a great example of how routine during the regular parts of life can inform and even enhance the special, busy times...” — Kendra (44:28)

[45:26] Mini Pep Talk: When You Hate Everything

• Kendra shares a moment of overwhelm, reminding listeners it’s normal to feel frustrated when life is at max capacity, but that doesn’t mean you actually “hate everything.”
  • “Everything at once is not how we're made. Everything at once is not a sustainable practice.” — Kendra (47:02)
• Encouragement: You’re not failing—you’re just not built to do everything at once.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[Regarding tablescapes]: Sometimes what I made was too high, and you couldn't see the person across the table from you.” (13:48)
• “The most complicated parts of a holiday gathering is the conversation, right?...It can just feel like a minefield.” (29:14)
• “Cleaning the bathroom and lighting a candle...Doing that thoughtfully towards someone who doesn't want to poop at your house but has to, and making it comfortable for them...” (34:00)
• “Everything at once is not a sustainable practice. The reason you hate everything is because your body and brain and soul are not equipped to deal with everything at once.” (47:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------|------------| | Show’s Philosophy & Approach | 00:00–05:20| | Two Favorite Past Tips | 05:21–10:04| | The 10 Simplifying Strategies | 12:13–34:36| | Favorite Group Games | 35:22–41:35| | Lazy Genius of the Week | 42:24–44:56| | Pep Talk for Overwhelm | 45:26–49:26|

Takeaways

Kendra champions a simpler, more thoughtful approach to holiday gatherings: cut unnecessary work, prepare for imperfections, prioritize enjoyment over performance, and stay connected—even when life feels chaotic. As you plan your next big family meal, remember:

“Be a genius about the things that matter, and lazy about the things that don’t.”