Loading summary
Transcript8 lines
- [00:00]
A
This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron. You know how some nights you open the fridge, stare inside and think, nope, not today. That's me. Like at least twice a week. That's why the new Blue Apron is such a game changer. They have shipped over 600 million meal kits through the years, but now they've made things more flexible than ever. You can shop a la carte, no subscription required, order what you want, when you want and skip the commitment completely. They've also added assemble and bake meals. These are one pan dishes with prepped ingredients that take five minutes or less of active time. Perfect for busy nights when you want a homemade dinner but don't want to spend hours on it. With 100 plus weekly meals most customizable in that same Blue Apron, quality chef design recipes, fresh ingredients. It's never been easier to get out of a food rut and back to enjoying dinner. Try the new Blue Apron today and get 40% off and free shipping on your first two orders at blueapron.com with code LAZYGENIUS40. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more. This episode is sponsored by Ritual. Winter can be tough on the skin. The colder air, the dry heat. Even when you do the usual things, sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. That's why I love that my beloved Ritual created Hyacara, a once daily skin supplement that supports skin hydration from the inside out. I've trusted Ritual for years. I love that their products are vegan, GMO free and rigorously tested for heavy metals and common allergens. Haasera is Clean label project certified. In each capsule is even Essence with soothing vanilla which makes the whole experience of taking it a little bit more luxurious. The clinical results are impressive. Hyacra leads to nearly 3 times of an increase in skin smoothness and a 3.5 times reduction in crow's feet wrinkles within 90 days compared to a placebo. Start Hyacra to support your glow without compromising on clean science. My listeners get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at ritual.com lazygenius that's ritual.com lazygenius for 40% off your first month don't miss out on their best sale of the season. Hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We we favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 444, 10 Ways to Simplify a Holiday Gathering. Next week is Thanksgiving in the U.S. but whether or not you'll be celebrating or you'll even listen to this episode in a different month in November, I think we could all use some help when it comes to holiday gatherings or just like large family gatherings in general, the holidays are typically when we gather with the bulk of our extended families, if we have them, and it's not a usual occurrence, right? Uncommon situations often produce the unexpected. So let's talk through some tools that simplify what might already feel complicated enough in gathering with extended family. So I have 10 super simple ideas to simplify your gathering, and even if you try one, I think it'll make your gathering and life a whole lot easier. After that, we'll have a little extra something where I'll share some of my favorite group games to play. You can borrow any of these for your holiday weekend or just the next time you're like having a game night. Now, I'm not like a gaming expert by any means, but I do. I do love a good game. Next, we will celebrate the lazy Genius of the week with the sweetest idea on hosting a Thanksgiving dinner when your family is not around. And then we'll finish up with a mini pep talk on when you hate and everything. Okay, before we get into all of that, if you have not been listening to the podcast for a couple of weeks or you just keep forgetting, you can go to the lazygeniuscollective.com playbooks and check out our new additions to the Playbook family. We still have our beloved seasonal Playbooks Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall. I could not think of the seasons in order, but we have added specific playbooks for those bigger things in your life that might need a little extra space to like, make a mess and dream and remember and plan Celebrations, projects, travel and yearbook. Okay, these four new Playbooks. They're in four new colors, just as fun and essential to use as ever. And because many of you have asked for this, we are selling the four new ones in a Playbook Extras bundle so you can get them at a sale price. So we hope you enjoy that. If you have any questions about the playbooks. Feel free to reach out to hello@the lazygeniescollective.com all right, let's get into the episode. We have done a handful of Thanksgiving specific episodes over the years, and while this one can be a bit more broad than the others, there is an episode from the archives that is super old but has some great ideas in it. Episode 133 y'. All, that was like 300 plus episodes ago. It is called 10 Helpful Thanksgiving Strategies. It released in November of 2019 y'.
- [05:20]
B
All.
- [05:21]
A
That was before COVID That feels like an actual lifetime ago. Well, the episode, it has some great info, but to save you the listen if you only have time for one episode this week, here are two of my favorite ideas from that episode. The first is to plan easy food leading up to Thanksgiving weekend. Whether you're traveling or hosting or something in between, having easy food that you do not have to think about the few days beforehand will be a lifesaver. Order pizza, eat something cereal, microwave quesadillas, toss rotisserie chicken with a bag salad, boil pasta, make ramen, fry up bacon and eggs, whatever. Pick whatever meals are the most brainless and simplest for you or whoever's doing the cooking, and lean into those meals the week of Thanksgiving. Playing your hot dogs Right? If you've never heard me say that, you're like what? Playing your hot dogs is a concept. It's not an actual command. Even though you can actually plan your hot dogs, it is a concept where you actively plan the Plan B meal. Don't wallow in the unmade decision and labor over it of like what are we going to have for dinner? Especially when you know deep down you're totally just going to have hot dogs and that's fine. So plan them. Just play in your hot dogs and then enjoy the margin of having the decision made. So that is the first idea that I love from that old, old episode. Playing the easiest food leading up to your Thanksgiving weekend of hosting, traveling, cooking, whatever it's going to be. And the second thing I loved about that old episode is to assume the best intentions. Dr. Becky is a parenting expert and she uses the phrase most generous interpretation when we go into interactions, complicated family relationships, assumed family of origin roles, or just unexpected places at all. It is so easy for us to assume the worst when someone says something like passive aggressive or hurtful or whatever. Or maybe it's like completely neutral and we just identify it as those things, we're assuming that they're making a dig or that they are coming from like a wounded place and taking it out on us or whatever. So instead, just begin with the most generous interpretation. A good generous interpretation for like a snappy comment or something is to assume that that person is under a lot of stress because they're hosting, or because someone else is and they want to, or because they have social anxiety or because they're just tired. It doesn't have to do anything with you. So assume the best intentions of people. Even if you're wrong, even if you're assuming something that is not true, even if their intentions are to hurt or shame or draw attention to themselves or whatever it is that's bothering you, you are starting from a kinder place, making the navigation of their decision just a little bit softer. Okay, so those are the two things from that old episode. Now, before we take a quick ad break, which makes this episode free for you to listen to, thank you so much to our sponsors for that. And before we get into the 10 Ways to Simplify a Holiday gathering, here is your quick reminder to sign up for our podcast recap email. It's called Latest Lazy Listens. It goes out every other Friday and it summarizes the episode, which is really nice for episodes like this that are lists because then you don't have to remember the things or write them down. You can just get it in an email and it's like there for you. So if you would like to get that reCAP, head to thelazygeniuscollective.com listens when.
- [08:52]
B
It comes to hiring, I don't want just anyone who looks decent on paper. I want the right person with the right background who can jump in and actually move things forward. That's why I trust Indeed Sponsored Jobs. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Instead of struggling to get your job post noticed, Indeed Sponsored Jobs give your posts the boost it needs to be seen by the exact candidates you want fast. And it really works. According to Indeed data, Sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed are 90% more likely to report a hire than non sponsored Jobs because you reach a bigger pool of quality candidates. If I needed to hire a new editor tomorrow, I'd be super specific. Three years of podcast editing experience, familiarity with our software, and an ear for conversational shows and and with Indeed Sponsored Jobs, I'd actually see those kinds of candidates, not just someone who's edited one YouTube video. Spend more time interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. Now with Indeed Sponsored Jobs and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves@ Indeed.com lazygenius just go to Indeed.com lazygenius right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com lazygenius terms and conditions apply. Hiring do it the Right Way with Indeed.
- [10:13]
A
This episode is sponsored by Quint's as the weather cools down and the holidays ramp up, I find myself reaching again and again for my favorite staples from Quint's. From $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters to Italian wool coats that truly feel designer. Quince makes it easy to build a wardrobe that lasts. And because they work directly with top tier here at the gold factories, they skip the middlemen so you get incredible quality for about half the price of similar brands. I've added a few new pieces this season, including a pebbled leather sling bag. I wore it recently all over New York City. I felt polished, effortless and totally like myself. Quince is the kind of brand you come back to because it delivers every time. Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last From Quince, perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to Quince.com Genius for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q U-I-N-C-E.com Genius to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Genius okay, as we get started, a little reminder before I get into this list. Remember, you don't have to do any of these, like at all. All of these are simplifying what what can be complicated. If something is not complicated to you or you absolutely love doing the thing, you probably don't feel the need to simplify it. So don't. Don't we all get to care about different things, putting our genius energy into what matters to us and leaving the rest behind. So this is a list of ways to leave those things behind. If they don't actually matter to you as much as the things you do care about, if they do matter a lot to you, carry on. You do not have to listen to me. Okay, here are 10 ways to simplify a holiday gathering. All right, number one. Let the food be your table decor. Let the food be your table decor. Out of the gate, we're going to use the reminder I just gave you. If you love a tablescape, do your thing. Love every minute of it. Love every tiny pumpkin or candle or bow or little like evergreen tree that you beautifully organize. I'm here for all of it. But for anyone who does not care as much about a tablescape, this one can feel complicated. There does seem to be an expectation now that tables must be scaped in such a way that we like ooh and ah when we walk in the room. And I'm just here to tell you, that does not have to happen. In fact, in my own experience, tablescapes get in my personal way. Like, maybe it's that my table's too small or, I don't know, I have too many people or the plates are too big, whatever. But I have, like, rarely created some kind of table decor that stood the test of the whole meal. My flower arrangements or my, you know, eucalyptus or whatever, it always gets put to the side before anyone even, like, takes a bite of food. Sometimes what I made was too high, and you couldn't see the person across the table from you. That almost always a tablescape, it takes up space in the middle of the table. And if you're hoping to also put food there, it can get. It can get busy, it can get complicated. It can be very full. On that table, you're caught between a rock and a hard place trying to, like, move lit candles while holding a casserole dish of Mac and cheese. And that sucker is really heavy. So if you are someone who finds tablescapes and table settings stressful and unnecessary for your own personal table, what would you think about just making the food the decoration? Your meal is going to be a sight to behold. I have no doubt. What? But have you seen bubbling cheese? I don't even like cheese that much, but watching browned, bubbly cheese is beautiful. Then you're not worried about, like, shifting dishes and messing up the design. Just put the food on the table and call it good. The turkey in the middle. If you have a turkey, you know, if you want, like, a little something, you could put, like, a tiny vase of flowers or those eucalyptus leaves in the center as an anchor or something. But ultimately, a super easy way to simplify a holiday gathering, especially around a table, is to let the food be your decoration. It's the thing on the table. Everyone wants to look out anyway, so don't sweat it. Unless tablescapes, like, don't make you sweat, you know, so that's number one.
- [14:27]
B
All right.
- [14:27]
A
Number two, serve fewer things. Now, again, you might love serving all the things. You might have a holiday gathering situation where everybody brings something. So the variety is, like, part of the fun. It is the plate that looks like an artist palette with all the, like, dobs and dabs of different variations of potato on your plate. But if that is not something that typically happens at your gatherings or you find the amount of holiday dishes to be complicated and stressful, simplify by serving fewer things. You don't need three kinds of potatoes. One is great. I mean, so is three, but one isn't any worse than three. Where might you simplify the amount of dishes you serve? You can make some of them store bought or you can just make more of the things that everybody really, really loves. There's going to be enough food. Just make fewer of the things. Now, I won't be hosting this year because we will be in New York watching Sam march in the parade. But for the last few years that I have hosted for my husband's side of the family, we've just kept the hits and just repeat them. Like, I don't add anything new. It's like, don't fix what isn't broken. So we have turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, Mac and cheese, green beans. My harvest salad that I just throw. There's no recipe. I just throw it together every year. It's always a sleeper hit. Everybody loves the salad and sister Schubert's yeast rolls because why mess with something that's already amazing? Now you might be like, that's a ton of things and it is. But it's also the bare bones of a meal that feeds 13 people who love eating Thanksgiving food. I have been to Thanksgiving gatherings and holiday gatherings where there were no less than 15 dishes available. And that is a lot. It is not bad, especially if you love doing it, but it is a lot. So if you don't want a lot, you can serve less, serve fewer things. It's okay. Number three, use your local bakery. If you have a local bakery that makes holiday pies or desserts or breads or whatever, please go buy them. Unless you love baking pies or desserts or whatever, which I personally do. You for sure can like make your delicious pie, but you could also turn to a professional who does this as a small business and they love it and then just like enjoy the fruits of not having to do the labor. Local bakeries are often the smartest around the holidays. They're offering not just like breads and desserts, but sometimes breakfast stuff and like sweet rolls for the next day's breakfast. This is an incredibly valuable resource, you guys, that I think a lot of us forget about. Use your local bakery or let's say you have a friend who is like a really good baker. They love to bake and they're not currently overwhelmed by their own holiday schedule, you could hire them to make some pies. Like, that's a fun way to also get the homemade aspect without having to do it yourself. Side note, I will say, you know, not everybody has to turn what they love into a business. That's crazy. But if you, for example, make like, a really good apple pie, a really good pumpkin pie, and you want to do this in your margins, you could 100% text your friends, like, your phone contact list and be like, hey, I'm making 25 apple pies for the holiday weekend. They can be baked from frozen whenever you like. First come, first serve and charge people for the pies and just watch the text roll in. Are you kidding me? If somebody offered to make me a delicious apple pie that I did not have to make, even if it wasn't Thanksgiving, I think I'd still buy it. So that could be a really fun way to earn a little money if you are the baker, but also, like, help your friends by doing something that you love doing that would make their holiday celebration a little easier. Okay, number four. I love this one. Only have one to two ornery things. Okay, now, I mainly mean food here, not humans. You cannot really always control how many ornery people you get to be around. But as far as food goes, especially if you are hosting, but even if you're bringing things, please don't have more than a couple of ornery items. Now, what do I mean by ornery? Well, that dish that is only good for the first, like, five minutes it comes out of the oven is ornery. The thing that never seems to cook as quickly as you'd like, but it needs to go all the way in order to be good is ornery. The recipe that is less forgiving and it needs to be babysat is ornery. Mac and cheese, for example, is not ornery. It can be made ahead. It could even hang out in the oven for a little longer without causing much of a ruckus. It can sit out. It's fine. It's great. Kind of. No matter what. A turkey, believe it or not, is not terribly ornery, especially if you use my turkey recipe. Now, sure, it needs to be cooked, and it can be a little stressful because it's like the centerpiece or whatever that a turkey also needs to rest once it's out of the oven. So, like, as long as it's cooked, it can wait around. It's fine. Ornery foods do not wait around. Ornery foods need more dishes and ingredients and attention and Perfection. And if you have too many of them, if you have too many ornery foods, you're gonna have a stressful holiday gathering. And we're trying to simplify that stress, not add to it. So for whatever you're cooking, you're doing, only have a couple of ornery things. Let the rest of the stuff be easy. Number five, pad your timing. Pad your timing. All right. One of the hardest things about having a holiday gathering where you are hosting, right, or you are attending even, is getting all the food done at the same time. Now, some things can survive just fine at room temperature. Like I said for the Mac, like, the Mac and cheese is great, but for the most part, you kind of want everything to be at, like, peak deliciousness at the same time. Y', all, that math is really hard to pull off. In fact, I think that's one of the most stressful things about a big meal with a lot of dishes on a regular weeknight, you probably just. You're making one thing out of one pot or pan, the meat in three. Life seems to have moved on for most of us. We're not doing that every single night, and we're not. We're just not serving multiple things at once on, like, a Tuesday. But for holiday gatherings, there are so many things. Multiple things. That's the name of the game. We love to have all the things. Just today, just today, I was driving carpool, and one of the kids, who is not mine, was sharing what they do as a family for Thanksgiving. And do you know what they talked about exclusively? The food. They listed out all the food that will be eaten. And it was many things. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, deviled eggs, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, corn pudding, Mac and cheese, several kinds of pie. The list didn't end. This kid did not really get to the end of the list as much as just, like, did like, a little bit of an ellipses and just stopped talking, dreaming about the foods. Like, we love all the foods, of course, but timing them to be all done at the same time, it's tough. It's really tough. So you need to pad your timing. Now, you probably know the drill of, like, balancing foods that can be served without needing to be bubbly hot. Right? You're just trying to have a mix of things so it doesn't all have to be done at the exact same time. But even so, as you create your oven math or your meal math, or you help someone else think through theirs, pad your timing. I feel like the chances of a meal being ready at 1 o'. Clock. If you say 1 o', clock, it's slim, man. You're not gonna make it on time. There's always something waiting to be done, and then everything else is kind of waiting around, which could be fine. That's fine. But I think it's the waiting around after the designated meal time that can create the stress. If you're hosting and you say to everybody, you're eating at 1 and it's now 1:20, and not everything is still ready. Like, that's stressful. You know, it's okay. But you also might feel responsible that everyone's raiding around while you scramble around to get these dang potatoes cooked. But what if you were to pad your timing and plan the meal, do all your math as though everything was gonna be ready at 12:40? You know, what if you padded it by 20 minutes? You can still say to everyone else, we'll eat around one. But almost certainly the kitchen math is gonna struggle to meet that. I don't know that I've ever eaten at a holiday gathering where everything was done on time. So by padding your time, by giving yourself 15, 20, or even 30 minutes in your planning to anticipate things that are running behind, it's so helpful. And even if. Even if everything is ready and even ready early, everyone's already there, right? You can just be like, hey, our meal's ready. Let's get drinks and gather around. You know, pad your timing. Give yourself a cushion. It just so much less stressful that way. All right, number six. Play Overrated. Underrated. Okay. Sometimes the conversation around a holiday table, it can be a bit tricky, right? It could be that a lot of these people, you have not seen them in months. You might not have seen them since last Thanksgiving. It could be that there are divisive things that not everybody wants to talk about, but somebody does. It could be that your family loves each other, that doesn't really talk about personal or vulnerable things. So the entire meal feels like a long string of, like, horrible small talk. A super simple way to enjoy conversation with the entire group that also inspires everyone to want to actually talk and share is to play Overrated. Underrated. So there is an actual game you can buy that's called Overrated. Underrated. Or you can just play it without cards or scoring or whatever. The basic idea is you say something like sweet potato fries, and you let everyone say if you. If they think they're overrated or underrated. The actual game has, like, a point system. You can even try and Guess what the person thinks about sweet potato fries. But also as just a general conversation starter, it's so easy to just say a thing and then let everyone around the table say what they think about that thing. We played this like casual version with, with just pulling out the cards out of the box and no points or whatever. We played this at a recent group din. It was so easy and fun. I would just pull out a card out of the box so I didn't have to think up ideas, you know, of like words to debate or whatever. And we all just said what we thought. And the good news about this game is it's. It like allows people to have an opinion around super low risk topics. Like, I have really strong opinions about crosswalks. I have been told I can be quite entertaining when I get riled up about crosswalks. Strong opinions about unimportant topics. It's a fun hang, man. It's a good time. So if you are looking for a way to keep things rolling at the holiday table with a group that might be a little hard to wrangle sometimes, just drop it into the next moment of awkward silence. It's like, hey guys, what do we think? Let's. Let's play Overrated. Underrated. What do we think about the Grand Canyon and just let people go to town. The game itself is not expensive. It's a great addition to your game collection. But again, you could just throw out things randomly. Overrated. Underrated is an underrated game. Okay, number seven. Embrace. Yes. And you've heard that phrase, right? Yes. And it is a foundational concept in improv comedy where your response to another player's idea in a sketch, it is always yes. And you always agree with whatever someone says or does and then you elevate it with another thing. Okay. Yes. And it's why for any office fans out there, it is why Michael Scott in the office was hated in his improv group because he never used yes. And he always became a spy with a gun or whatever and ended every scene his own way, no matter what. He wasn't listening to what other people were doing. Well, during holiday gatherings, especially when those gatherings involve family, a great way to simplify the complication of like family roles and patterns and conversations that can be uncomfortable is for you personally to embrace. Yes. And now I'm not saying to put yourself in the path of like, unkind words from other people. Not at all. But I know that I've gone into certain gatherings and immediately put my guard up. Like I'm in a constant defensive posture. And that posture often leads to an energy of no, but instead of yes. And so when it's appropriate and emotionally safe for you, think about having a posture of yes. And if your grandmother, who is retelling the same story as she does every single year, and that kind of irritates you and she starts telling that story again, don't be a no but person and stop her because she's already told it and you're annoyed by the repetition. Be a yes and person. Let her tell it. Listen. On a much lighter note, be a yes and person when people ask to do something that is not in your plan. If you had plans to serve dessert right after the meal around the table, but then somebody suggests waiting and eating it outside, unless there's like a huge reason to say no, be a yes and person. It's like, sure, let's do that. Maybe we can even light a fire outside. Generosity of spirit is one of the best ways to simplify just about anything, even if it's just within yourself. That yes and posture really smooths out the potentially emotional complications of holiday gatherings. Okay, number eight. Lighten up your gratitude. Now, this might be a bit more for Thanksgiving gatherings, for sure, but for some reason, the forced like, what are you thankful for? What are you grateful for? Those conversations seem to be, as the kids say, or at least used to say, very cringe to me. Not everybody wants to share what they're grateful for in a crowd. Some people feel put on the spot. Sometimes you're doing it in a room of people you don't actually know very well. So if you have any say in the gratitude portion of the evening or day, lighten it up a little. Ask something like, what is something everyone is grateful is on the table today. You know, like, start out with a favorite food situation or ask what is something everyone is grateful for About Grandma. Turn the focus onto a single person who would probably really love that attention. Or ask something specific, like, what is something everyone is looking forward to before this year is out? You could even have categories written on pieces of paper in like a little bowl. And a person draws out a paper and says what thing from that category they're grateful for? So, like an event, a day of the week, like, listen, I love a Friday food, a friend, a hobby, a song, a TV show, a piece of technology, a class in school, a project that's finally done. It's a long list. You can still offer opportunities for people to share about themselves and access their own gratitude without it being full of, like, typical Gratitude, pressure. Lighten up the gratitude so that it scratches the itch of the people who do care about that kind of thing and maybe even the tradition of that kind of thing. But it's separate enough from that energy that someone who is uncomfortable or kind of eye rolly about that approach can still participate without a lot of, like, pushback or pressure. Okay, number nine, Ask great questions. One of the most complicated parts of a holiday gathering is the conversation, right? We've already had a couple of tips about that can just feel like a minefield. Which is why we are trying to like, lighten up the gratitude and play overrated. Underrated that you can also have a slew of questions ready to go that get things going for you and the table without it feeling too forced. I mentioned this a few weeks ago in episode 437, 10 Things I Always Do When I have People Over. Actually, that's a really great episode to listen to if you're hosting anything over the next few weeks. But in that episode, I shared the concept of magical questions. Not the magic question, which is one of our 13 lazy genius principles. What can I do now to make something easier later? Magical questions are something that Priya Parker came up with. She is an expert on gathering. Her book, the Art of Gathering is so very good. But she presented this idea of magical questions, which are questions that everyone wants to answer and hear the answer too from everyone else, which is, honestly a tough ask. It is. That's why having a few great questions in your pocket can help keep things rolling and connective where everyone feels seen and important. Plus, it's also a lot of fun. At my mom's birthday a couple weeks ago, I, you know, we're gathering around the table and I asked, I asked her what some of her favorite songs were and it led to like half an hour of playing favorite songs over the Bluetooth speaker. It was really fun. So even a simple question like that, it can spark a lot beyond it. If someone has a hard time answering that kind of question, like, what's your favorite song? You can make it more specific by asking, like, what was your favorite song in high school? Or something like that. Or what's a song that when it comes on, you have to dance, Right? Other questions you could use. What's a movie that if it's on tv, you have to finish it no matter what? For me, it's World War Z. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm finishing the whole dang movie. What posters did you have on your wall? As a teenager. I used that one at a group dinner recently, and it was a fantastic conversation starter. It was. It lasted a long time and it was hilarious. Another question. What is an anti pet peeve? Something that's so small but brings you enormous joy. What's the worst fashion choice you ever made? What's your go to karaoke song? How do you like your eggs? If you were gonna sail around the world, what would be the name of your boat? Just ask great questions. Have a little list on your phone log. A good question when you hear it from someone else. Like, not even around, like a holiday gathering. Like, if you hear a really great question, build up a little stockpile for yourself. Great questions simplify complicated conversations so well, and they actually lead to warmer connections between people. And then finally, number 10, be thoughtful, not impressive. This is not at all surprising coming from me. And while it's not the most, like, nuts and bolts practical idea, it is one of the greatest perspectives that you can carry within yourself whether you're hosting or not, in order to simplify this gathering. Be thoughtful, not impressive. So what does this look like? Well, being thoughtful is you thinking ahead about the other person, the other people and their needs, their experience, their preferences. Being impressive is you thinking about how another person is going to think about you because of what you already thought about. So the focus of the two things could not be more different. The behaviors might look identical, right? Cleaning the bathroom and lighting a candle in there and maybe having, like, obvious extra toilet paper and poop spray or air freshener or whatever. Having all of that available, that's a behavior, you know, that's something that you're doing, doing that thoughtfully towards someone who doesn't want to poop at your house but has to, and making it comfortable for them, versus doing all of that so that someone will say to you, man, you really set up that bathroom really nice. Like, in fact, that could be a lovely litmus test for your own posture. Being thoughtful does not require anyone to say anything to you about what you did. Being impressive absolutely requires someone else saying something to you about what you did. If you try and be impressive and no one comments on it, you're gonna be in a funk immediately. But thoughtfulness is not about that. It's not about you. It's about them. So be thoughtful, not impressive. So to wrap up, as you enter into a holiday season that will likely have some gatherings involved, remember these 10 things, especially if any of these things simplify something that feels already complicated to you. Let the food be your table, decor cook fewer things. Use your local bakery. Only have one to two ornery things. Pad your timing. Play overrated, underrated Embrace yes, and lighten up your gratitude. Ask great questions and be thoughtful, not impressive. And those are 10 ways to simplify your holiday gathering. This episode is sponsored by Kanopy Skincare. Experts and dermatologists have long said that indoor humidity is the secret to healthy, glowing skin. And a not so fun fact. Dry air can start wreaking havoc on your skin in as little as 30 minutes. That's why Canopy exists. Canopy is a completely reimagined humidifier. It helps your skin stay hydrated, your sinuses stay clear, and your space feel more breathable. It uses paper filters and no mist so there's no mold, no musty smell and no puddle on your nightstand. Just clean hydrated air. It's dermatologist recommended, super easy to clean and actually looks good in your bedroom or nursery or office. Not like a plastic spaceship. Go to GetCanopy Co to save $25 on your code Canopy Humidifier purchase today with Canopy's filter subscription and look for other Canopy products such as the Canopy Bath and Shower Filter. Even better, use code Lazy at checkout to save an additional 10% off your canopy purchase. Your skin will thank you. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're starting something new or scaling something you've loved years, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your work, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. I've used Squarespace for years. It is what the lazy genius calls home. It is simple, beautiful, actually works the way you need it to, especially as we have created digital and physical products to sell online. Squarespace has made that process a breeze. And if you're not sure where to start, Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it easy. Their new blueprint AI tool. It can help you build a custom site in just a few clicks. Or you can explore their gorgeous templates and use drag and drop tools to make it your own. Head to squarespace.com lazygenius for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code LAZYGENIUS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For today's a little extra something I'm going to share with you some of my favorite games to play with a group. Some are games that you buy, others are just games you play. But here's my favorite list first. Code names. I love codenames. Oh my goodness. Code names is a great time for a group of people, especially as a way to like forge connection where it might be hard to find. So one person, if you've never played before, one person tries to get the rest of their team to identify the code names on a big board with one word. It's almost like. It's almost like the New York Times Connections game but with like higher stakes. It's so much fun. It's so much fun. Codenames is great for a group. Another game I love with a group is hues and Q's. This is a color guessing game. You have this huge board, a ton of colors, like gridded in rows and columns. It's like this giant ombre rainbow. Each person tries to get the rest of the group to guess their secret color that they chose by using just one or two word clues. And then those clues cannot themselves be colors. So if you have like a green on your card and you see the grid, it's like a 34 or whatever you might set. Your clue might be grass, but there are so many greens on the board. It's a great game with kids too. Surprisingly fun. It's just. It's a solid one. It's one of our favorites. We pull out all the time now. I will die on the hill of Taco cat goat cheese pizza. If you have kids at your house during a holiday gathering and they are getting a little bored, one of those kids, they're going to know how to play pull out. Taco cat goat cheese pizza. It's like war, but with silliness. With, like cats and pizza with eyeballs. And you also like slap if you have. I forget when you slap, but it's like you slap as well. It doesn't matter. It is so fun. It is so much fun. We bring it with us to restaurants sometimes, like as a family, because it's always a hit. It's always a hit. Okay. Of course. I'm a huge fan of Bananagrams. I've mentioned that several times. It's one of my favorite games to play. It's like making your own crossword puzzle as fast as you can. I was undefeated. I'm no longer undefeated, but it's because I drew two cues and there were no use or eyes on my board. And so I just had to keep peeling letters while everybody else built their board waiting for Q's and eyes. And they didn't come for a very long time. So was a Bit stressful. So I've only. I've only lost once, though. Okay. Another great word game that kids love, at least mine do, is just one. Okay? You have one guesser, and that guesser has to guess the correct word from a card. They don't see the words on the card. Everybody else sees the word, but the guesser does not see the word. What they have to do is they choose a word from the card. There's five words, so the guesser might be, like, number two. The number two number. The number two word. And everyone else, the whole group, they write down one word, just one. Right? One word. That will be a clue for the guesser to guess that word. The only thing is that if anybody in the group writes down the same word, like, if they have duplicate clues, then those words cancel each other out. So then the. The guesser is looking at, like, if the word, for example, was mountain, somebody might write tall, somebody might write rock, somebody might write Everest or something. And so that person would see tall, rock, Everest, and they go mountain and guess mountain. It's really, really fun, kids. It's great for all ages, too. And if a kid is the guesser, and this is what we do with Annie, because she doesn't know every word on the card, we're just like, don't choose 1 and 4, and then she'll choose 2, 3, or 5, and then we'll play. So it is just a really, really fun game that also helps with, like, making connections with words and writing and just the comfort of, like, sharing the, like, language development with little kids as a group. Like, it's just a great. It's a great game. We've been playing it for a long time. Okay, I have two more. Another one that we love, especially Annie. Annie loves this game. What do you meme? And there's a family version. Basically, you have, like, you have a deck, a card deck of captions, and then you have a deck of crazy images, and they have to match them. It's almost like apples to apples, but for memes, where somebody has a card and you submit what caption you think is the best one, and if yours gets picked, then you get the points or whatever. It's so fun. It's ridiculously silly. Great for a crowd. And then one final game that is a sleeper hit that requires nothing except a stack of post it notes is the post it note game, where you write a person's name on a post it note. You stick it to your head. Well, actually, you stick to someone else's head and then they have to guess. I have to ask yes or no questions to try to guess who the person is. It is so silly. It's so fun. It's so easy. So you could play that game. Now, you might already know about all of these games, but even if there's one that you haven't tried yet or you haven't heard about, you will be in luck. Games are just so much fun to play. You also might be reminded of a game that you already have in your cabinet that you haven't played in a while. And you're like, oh, this would be great to pull out for our next holiday gathering. But also, you can bring games with you when you go to someone else's house for a gathering. Even if it's just like checkers and chess, a deck of cards, Scrabble, Rummy cube, like those classics, those are on people's shelves for a reason. So anyway, games all day long. Those are some of our favorites. And that's today's a little extra something. And now for the Lazy Genius of the week. This week, it's Claire Da Silva. Claire writes, Today I had an inspiration about how my family will celebrate Thanksgiving this year, and I just had to share with you. My spouse is a physician and it's his turn to take the Thanksgiving holiday call shift at the hospital. It's always a bit of a bummer when he has to work on a holiday, especially now that our kids are older, 4 and 7, and really notice his absence. I realized I was feeling unmotivated to host extended family, cook a big turkey meal or travel without him. This year I felt guilty about my lack of enthusiasm and just uninspired overall. Then it hit me. We already have a decide once meal for nights when dad is working. We call it spinner dinner, a mix of finger foods, charcuterie and handheld leftovers served on a divided, lazy Susan. We graze together with toothpicks and my kids absolutely love it. It makes what would be an otherwise sort of disappointing dinner time. No dad jokes. A fun event with little effort on my part. And then I realized my family's favorite part of Thanksgiving has always been the appetizers. Anyway, so this year we're going all out with gourmet no leftovers, a Thanksgiving spinner dinner feast. Our own fun, meaningful twist on the holiday that will no doubt become a family tradition. This is just a beautiful idea. This is a great example of how routine during the regular parts of life can inform and even enhance the special busy times, routines and decisions and things that find Their deep grooves over time, they allow for life to remain just as meaningful, even when pivots are necessary. So I just love this. Claire, congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, let's finish with a mini pep talk for when you hate everything. So I was gonna say that the last couple of weeks have been crazy, but I feel like I've been saying that for, like, two months now, and I think I have. Some seasons are just extra in every way. I'm in one of those now in that weird space where my kids are old enough to have a lot of things going on, but not old enough to get themselves there. They are independent, but they still need me all the time. But. And then there's the fact that I have, I don't know, a job and a spouse I love and friends and family and hobbies and rest and all kinds of things that are competing for my time and energy, of which I feel like I continuously have less and less, especially right now. That's how it feels right now. So recently, in a text to my pal Emily, Emily Freeman, I said something I think we've all said before. I said, I hate everything. But then immediately I was like, no, I definitely don't hate everything. My life is so rich and full, and even though there are aspects of it that I would like to be different, I don't hate everything. Not in the slightest. And I bet you don't either. I bet you don't either. But what we probably do hate is everything at once. Everything at maximum capacity, everything that needs juggling and managing and getting in the right order and place to make it happen. Now, that's a spectrum, right? No one is organized in everything all the time. Literally no one. You pivot, you adjust, you make plans and hold them loosely. You remember how valuable it is to notice the people and energies around you rather than try and make everything fit into some logistical puzzle. Like, we know this intellectually, but I know I still struggle sometimes to embrace it internally, especially when life just feels really busy. It's easy for me to be like, I hate everything. So here's your reminder today and mine. Everything at once is not how we're made. Everything at once is not a sustainable practice. The reason you hate everything is because your body and brain and soul are not equipped to deal with everything at once. And when you're in a season where you have to, it's easy to just make a blanket statement that everything is too hard, everything is the worst, and everything needs to stop, and you just need a huge vacation for your life that if you shift that sentiment to, oh, wait, I don't hate everything. I don't. I'm just in the middle of everything at once. And that is not doable. Now, you can lament that season if you need to. I know I have and do. And then alongside of your honesty, you tell yourself the truth. You do one thing at a time, and you let something go. You do something with less excellence than you would prefer, but it's something that doesn't matter as much, and it's getting done right. Making those kinds of choices is good. It's wisdom. So in this likely season of Everything at Once, remember, you're not made for that. The fact that you hate everything is not because you're not good at life or at planning or at juggling everything. The fact that you hate everything is a natural response to a pace you were never made to keep. Within a culture that doesn't have your needs and priorities in mind. We live in a culture of greatness and optimization, rushing toward an imagined future that we think that we can control. That is not our life anymore, pals. We are whole people here today. Our goal is not greatness. It is to be ourselves where we are, no matter the circumstance. So hold fast to that when you hate everything and you'll probably see far more of what you love. And that's a mini pep talk for when you hate everything. If this episode was helpful to you, or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, it would mean so much if you would share this episode with a friend. Go ahead and like click that little arrow on top of the box and just text the link to somebody who would enjoy this episode. We appreciate you sharing it with people. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for latest Lazy listens. It goes out every other Friday. You can go to thelazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y', all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week. If you have kids, you know that every day can bring a fresh hell. In other words, it's always something, sometimes a couple of things at the same time, from time management to mess management to whether this is all supposed to be a little more fun. The what Fresh Hell? Podcast is here to solve the issues that moms are facing. Every week, in every episode of what Fresh Hell. We take a parenting or relationship issue and figure it out through research, expert takes, and our own experiences, good and bad. So listen to what Fresh Hell. Because when it comes to motherhood, laughter really is the best medicine. Listen to what Fresh Hell.
- [50:21]
B
Wherever you get your podcasts.