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Kendra Adachi
This episode is sponsored by Daily Look. Finding my style is like a recent ish development. I do know what I like, but sometimes the temptation of buying what I see on the Internet and just hoping it works for me is too real. That's why I'm glad I found Daily Look. Daily look is the highest rated premium personal styling service for women, making it easier to elevate your style without copying someone else's. With Daily look, you get a dedicated stylist to curate a box of clothes that match you delivered right to your door, no fitting rooms needed. You get up to 12 premium pieces per box. Keep what you love and return the rest with free shipping both ways. Since I had filled out a detailed style questionnaire and even sent a style Pinterest board to my stylist, so many pieces in my recent box were hits get started by taking your style quiz at DailyLook.com Elevate your style by signing up at DailyLook.com today. Take your style quiz at DailyLook.com and get 50% off your first styling fee when you use code LAZYGENIUS at checkout. This episode is sponsored by IXL Learning. My kids enjoy school, but it's tough when they hit a subject that confuses or frustrates them or they just don't really like. But when that subject has IXL assignments attached to it, they actually have fun with the learning process. IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies. IXL is designed to help them understand and master topics in a fun way with positive feedback. Plus one subscription gets you everything. That's one site for all the kids in your home, Pre K to 12th grade grade. Don't miss out. One in four students in the US are learning with IXL. IXL is used in 95 of the top 100 school districts in the US make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and the Lazy Genius listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlearning.com lazygenius visit ixlearning.com lazygeniod to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Foreign hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 394, 5 Ways to Feel Grounded in a Busy Month. I almost named this episode five Ways to Find Balance in a Busy month but finding balance isn't a thing. Balance is teetering back and forth between two sides, hoping to not fall over. Balance is so precarious, and that's how time management often feels in a busy season. We're trying to do everything really well, holding it all successfully without falling over. Finding balance is actually a major drain on our energy and our calm and our contentment. What I think we really want to feel is grounded, whether that's in a busy month like December, or honestly, just anytime at all. So let's just jump into five ways to feel grounded in a busy month. Number one, Find a busy month mantra. I'm gonna give you a few to choose from or you can come up with your own. Essentially, you are grabbing onto an important reminder that helps you stay grounded in whatever area has you feel like you're floating and untethered and out of control during this busy month. So your busy month mantra could be I will match my expectations to the energy I'm willing and able to give. I will match my expectations to the energy I'm willing and able to give. Most of our frustrations in life are due to unmet expectations. And busy months, especially December, are chock full of expectations. You have your own. You have the expectation of family members, of culture expectations. They're all over the place. They're like twinkle lights, but not as chill. If you are surrounded by expectations that you feel like are being unmet, the tendency is to try and hack our energy in order to meet the expectations. We try to do more and be more and attempt to cram in more, and all that does is make us tired and cranky and behind. Instead of changing the energy, change the expectation. Match the expectation in the energy by adjusting your expectation. Maybe I won't make baked treats for every neighbor this year since the oven is on the fritz or this work project is taking me deep into December or I've been sick or whatever the case may be, right? And honestly, that case could simply be I just don't have the energy. I don't have the energy. Adjust your expectation. Sometimes we also have to adjust the expectations of others, letting them know how sad we are that we can't make the snickerdoodles this year, but that this season looks different than years past and adjustments have to be made, right? I will match my expectations to the energy I'm willing and able to give. Another busy month mantra could be I don't have to make the most of everything. I don't have to make the most of everything. I said this in an Instagram reel a couple of weeks ago, but women are not given permission to be mediocre, and that is wildly true. In December, we're making cookies and memories and wrapping gifts beautifully and hosting gatherings and getting thoughtful gifts for other people and decorating homes and attending all the functions and trendy outfits and without any stress around our schedules. Now, I know all of that is kind of cliche, but it also feels really true. Women already have to tell themselves that it's okay to just be okay at something, and there's little encouragement from outside voices to that end. But in December, I think the voices feel extra loud in busy months in general, the chaos of the to do list. It can drown out the voice of reason and kindness in your head. So your busy month mantra might need to be I don't have to make the most of everything. You don't have to capitalize on every gift, every gathering, every memory, every moment. Just let your life be what it is. Let some things be mid. It's not giving up or giving in to do that. It's human and wise and normal and good. A final busy month mantra you might want to borrow is Good is here right now. Good is here right now. When we're super busy and in a chaotic season, it is so easy to not notice the good that is around us. We just stay sucked into this vacuum of celebrations and to do lists and projects and whiny kids and overbearing parents and whatever is on your list. Busyness usually puts us in survival mode, which takes us out of noticing mode. So this mantra can help bring you back to that grounded place of noticing Good is here right now. So that's the first thing that you can do to feel grounded. Have a Busy month mantra Find your own. Borrow one of these. Choose a different one based on what the day needs. But have a busy month mantra. The second way that you can feel grounded in a busy month is by actively releasing the expectation that everything you do has to be great. This, you know, is a little bit like the mantra above, but I think it is a real shift that we have to actively keep making. Our culture and the time management industry and retail in general is all about making you think that you need to level up. Level up your winter outfits, your planning methods, your wrapping, your holiday appetizers. Everything seems to be about making everything great. Sometimes with language, about impressing people or making neighbors jealous or putting your old self to shame, it's such a damaging message and moves us further and further from feeling grounded, discontentment and leveling up and greatness are all about dislodging us from where we are so that we feel motivated to change and make things better and more optimized and more memorable and more impressive and spend more money. That's a huge reason why you feel all over the place right now. Every message you see and hear is actively trying to make you feel that way so you'll spend money. It's really wild once you see it. So instead, actively release the expectation that everything has to be great. It does not. It does not. Things can be average and middle. Some things can be left for another time, others that really matter to you. They can be elevated to a place where you put more of your time and your energy and your care. That genius energy, right? You can make some things beautiful and great and memorable, but they're not in order to impress or to be better. They're coming from a deep sense of what matters to you, almost certainly for the sake of love and kindness and connection. So the second way to feel grounded in a busy month is to actively release the expectation, sometimes daily or even hourly, that everything you do has to be great. It doesn't. This episode is sponsored by Ritual. When it comes to adding something to my routine, my first question is always does it actually work? That's why I trust Ritual. They're a clean supplement company committed to clinical trials and their essential for women 18 multivitamin is one I've used and trusted for literally years. I take two capsules every morning with my coffee and I love that they're gentle on an empty stomach and have a minty aftertaste. Ritual uses clean, high quality key ingredients in their bioavailable forms that are vegan, non GMO gluten and major allergen free. 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- [10:11]
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- [11:12]
Kendra Adachi
Episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace has been the online home of the Lazy Genius Collective since day one and for good reason. It's the all in one platform that help helps creators and entrepreneurs not just stand out, but thrive online. Recently we launched a new product in our store and Squarespace made the whole process so simple. Thanks to their fluid engine, we could set up gorgeous, functional pages with ease. I am no tech wizard, but with Squarespace's Drag and drop editor I do not have to be. Squarespace also has flexible payment tools which means our customers can use everything from Apple pay to after paying. We want it to be easy for you to be a lazy genius and Squarespace makes that happen. Plus their built in analytics are truly great offering information that's truly helpful right there. Clear as day, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com lazygenius to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode of the Lazy Genius podcast is brought to you by Wild Grain. Y'all know I love baking, but I can't always bake everything I want to eat. Luckily, there's Wild Grain. Wild Grain takes the hassle out of baking since all items bake from frozen in 25 minutes or less with no mess or cleanup and they're shipped right to your door. My box landed on my doorstep last week and the delight I felt when I opened that thing. We had fresh pasta, sourdough, apple cider donuts and more. My middle kid is obsessed with croissants so those have been such a fun breakfast for him. With the same pull it from the freezer effort from me. Wild Grain's boxes are fully customizable. In addition to their classic variety box, they recently launched a gluten free box and a plant based box that is 100% vegan. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep for a limited time? Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box, plus free croissants in every box. When you go to wildgrain.com genius to start your subscription, that's wildgrain.com genius. Or you can use promo code Genius at checkout before we get into the third way to feel grounded in a busy month is to note that I'm almost certainly you can hear it that someone's cutting a tree down close to my house. So my apologies for the buzzing because I am almost confident that you can hear it pretty well. But we carry on. All right, the third way to feel grounded in a busy month is to activate your senses. There is so much research on this, y'all, but grounding yourself from a mental health standpoint is literally about looking at things, hearing sounds, touching stuff, tasting stuff, smelling stuff. It helps us come back to ourselves and not drift off in the chaos of optimized activity and stressful expectations. If you are feeling stressed out and untethered, you can ground yourself in that moment by touching something natural like grass or dirt or even a soft blanket on the couch. If you don't want to go outside. You can light a candle that you love and smell it. You can look around your space and look at things that bring you joy, or look into someone else's eyes that you trust and just take a deep breath in the moment. You can ground yourself with your senses and also you can create an environment of feeling grounded in your home or at your desk, at work or even in your car by actively bringing in your senses. Have some playlists at the ready that you play while you're driving or working or making dinner. Playlists that feel good in your body. You can light candles, simmer cider on the stove. You can get a lotion that you love that has like a wintry scent or that matches whatever busy month you're in, and you put it on when you need to feel grounded, like being tactile with your hands as you rub in the lotion. Put your hands over your heart. I do that all the time. Like press into your heart, dance, light a fire, or turn on the Netflix fireplace show. Activate your senses. Lean into them. Don't see those choices as silly or small. They're not. As we all know, starting small works way better than anything else anyway. All right, the fourth way that you can feel grounded in a busy month is to schedule rest. And I think it would be a compassionate choice to do that every day. I was talking to a friend recently about her busy schedule and it's way busy. She's in grad school, so she's like grading papers and running classes. She's also doing research as part of her degree, so she's managing the schedules of a ton of people who are involved in her research study. She also has a partner and hobbies and family and regular responsibilities. And she was feeling like she she never rested. But then as she kept talking, she realized that she did have some joyful, restful things in her life already. Like a scheduled weekly movie night. It always happened and it always made her happy and feel grounded in herself and her home and her life. Now I share that little story to say Sometimes when we hear the idea of scheduling rest, we see it as starting from scratch. Like, oh man, here's one more thing I need to do that I'll feel bad about when I don't actually do it. But I wonder if most of you already have some rest scheduled most days already. You just haven't named it that way or noticed it. Maybe you read after every kid goes to bed at night, that's scheduled rest. Maybe you intentionally take a lunch break like I do and actively enjoy yourself by eating food you love and not doing anything productive or, you know, feeling bad for taking the hour that's scheduled rest. So notice if you already do schedule rest and then notice it more. You might not have to add anything to your life at all. But in busy months, those regularly scheduled bits of rest are often the first thing to go. So maybe your practice can be adding it back in. Or you might want to consider scheduling some form of rest and connection with yourself where you feel like yourself and you fill up. You slow down on the inside every day. You know, it doesn't have to be for hours and hours, but I encourage you to look around at your days, notice what's already there. And if there isn't any rest, schedule some. Or adjust something that's already there to look more like rest than it currently does. This isn't just about refueling. It's about showing yourself and your body that you can stop. You can not be productive. You can hit pause on the projects and the work and responsibilities long enough to tell your soul that your value is not connected to those things. Yes, it is for bodily physiological rest and restoration, but it's also like a small protest to the constant hum of productivity. Schedule rest. Just be where you are. What a gift to give yourself. So the fourth way to feel grounded in a busy month is to schedule rest. And the final way, at least in this episode, to feel grounded in a busy month is to remember that you're not missing anything. Some of our stress in busy months is rooted in the anticipation of forgetting things, not doing everything really well, or holding urgency in our brains for every task when not every task is even close to urgent. Right now, you have done this before. You will do this again. You can do this with more compassion than you ever have, because you can know that deep down you're not missing anything. It's going to be okay. Your checklist is not going to save you. Your organization is not going to save you. Your lack of organization is not going to destroy you. People live through busy seasons all the time, and the process and results both look wildly different from person to person and season to season. There is not some optimal way that you haven't figured out to get through December. There is no normative standard you have to abide by. There is not a magical approach that somehow makes everything line up and work out. You can do what works for you. You can get by in whatever ways you need to, and you can believe in your soul that you're not doing it all wrong just because it doesn't look like some ideal. You're not missing anything. So to recap, five ways to feel grounded in a busy month are to have a busy month mantra, to release the expectation that everything has to be great, to engage your senses, to schedule rest, and to remember that you're not missing anything. It's all gonna be okay. You don't have to be great. You can say, I am here, this is now, and there is good. There is good here. So take a deep breath and enjoy your season. Even if it's a busy one. And that's five ways to feel grounded in a busy month. All right, a quick heads up that this week I will be writing the latest Lazy Letter. It's my monthly newsletter that goes out to over 60,000 people on the first Wednesday of every month. Except in January when it will come out the second Wednesday. Because the first Wednesday is the first of the month. So we're not doing that. And this month I'm going to be sharing book reviews from this month's Reading My favorite books of 2024, a story about three people that I encountered while I was in Indianapolis at the same time as Taylor Swift. People who who changed how I see the impact that one individual can have on a huge space and some words about gift giving and winter vibes, including links to my favorite Christmas slash winter playlist. So if you would like to get that newsletter, you can head to thelazygeniuscollective.com join all right, before we go, let's celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week this week, it's Sarah Parsons. Sarah writes, For a long time I've held on to meaningful cards and notes that I've received from family, friends, co workers and my students, but I haven't found a good system for keeping them that eliminates paper clutter. In my house, I had a brilliant idea to take a photo of them and create a digital file with pictures of all these cards and their sentiments to revisit and read over years to come. When I need encouragement or a smile. This has helped me hold on to words of life that matter while eliminating clutter from my surfaces. You know, we sometimes give technology a bad rap, but this is a time when it totally comes in handy. Making a digital keepsake box for important things is so fantastic. I did this with years of my kids artwork. I scanned the art, but then I actually put those images into a photo book. That way I can still have like the tactile analog experience of the art, which I love, but with a lot more safe space space saving energy, which I also love, but where I don't have to keep like piles and piles of paper art, right? Which it is. Okay, if you choose to keep your kids art or if you choose to keep all of your meaningful notes and cards, right? Remember, it's all about what matters to you. It's what matters to you. So if it matters for you to keep the actual thing, find a way to keep the actual thing. If it doesn't matter so much but you still want to remember, then you can do something like this where you have a digital keepsake boxer, print it in a book or whatever. So thank you for sharing, Sarah, and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the Week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.