#413 Office Hours

Summary

The Lazy Genius Podcast: Episode #413 - Office Hours

Host: Kendra Adachi, The Lazy Genius
Release Date: April 14, 2025
Description: Kendra Adachi blends systematized organization with compassionate permission-giving to help listeners focus on what truly matters while being "lazy" about the rest.

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Introduction to Office Hours

In Episode #413, titled "Office Hours," Kendra Adachi dedicates the episode to answering listener-submitted questions, offering tailored Lazy Genius solutions to a variety of everyday challenges. This format, conducted quarterly, allows Kendra to directly address the concerns and curiosities of her audience, fostering a sense of community and shared experience.

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General Insights on Problem-Solving

Kendra emphasizes two key principles:

1. Empowerment Through Questions:
   “You do not necessarily need me or anyone else to solve your problems. Asking the question might just do the trick because you are smart and you know your life better than anyone does.” (04:20)
   Kendra highlights that formulating a problem as a question can often lead to self-discovery and personal solutions, reinforcing the listener's innate ability to manage their own lives.

2. Shared Experiences Alleviate Isolation:
   “Hearing what other people are experiencing is wildly helpful in contextualizing our own lives.” (07:15)
   By sharing stories, such as her experience speaking to Senate Moms, Kendra illustrates that feeling overwhelmed is a common human experience, thereby reducing feelings of isolation among listeners.

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Listener Questions and Lazy Genius Solutions

1. Prioritizing Self to Combat Burnout

Question from Melissa Marie:
"It seems like the world moves so fast. I try to prioritize myself and rest, but I still feel like I have a cycle of feeling burnout. How can I, lazy genius, say no to more to leave more margin for myself and the things I care about?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Metabolize Your Stress:
  “We often pay attention to the stressors rather than the stress.” (09:10)
  Kendra recommends focusing on daily practices that help release built-up stress, such as mindfulness and relaxation techniques, as emphasized in the book Burnout by the Nagoski sisters.

• Understand What Matters:
  “Every single thing that matters to you comes at the cost of something that matters less.” (12:45)
  She advises listeners to clearly define their priorities, accepting that saying no to one thing allows space for what truly matters, thereby preventing burnout.

2. Connecting with a Spouse Without Wasting Time on TV

Question from Becky Fowler:
"I'm trying to spend time and connect with my husband after our son goes to bed, but I'm also wanting to use that time for hobbies or tasks that need fun. Connection is important, but sitting in front of the TV seems like a waste of time, which is my husband's go-to after dinner."

Kendra’s Response:

• Create Varied Evening Routines:
  Drawing from her own relationship, Kendra suggests alternating evenings between shared activities and individual hobbies. For instance, “There are evenings where he's watching something and I'm painting, or I read with earbuds while he's on TV.” (16:50)

• Ensure Quality Companionship:
  Emphasizing that being together doesn't always require simultaneous activities, Kendra encourages finding harmony in shared silence or parallel activities that respect each other’s preferences.

3. Managing the Laundry of Hand-Knit Socks

Question from Kate (4 Present Joys):
"Washing hand-knit socks feels overwhelming due to the intricate process and limited space in our small apartment. How can I lazy genius this task?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Designate a "Sock Day":
  “Declare it Sock Day. Make the main activity of the day tend to the socks,” (20:10)
  Kendra advises allocating a specific day to handle sock washing, simplifying the process by reducing daily clutter and integrating it into a fun, cherished routine with her toddler.

• Streamline the Process:
  Suggestions include using designated containers for soaking and drying, and incorporating playful activities to make the chore enjoyable, thereby reducing the perceived burden.

4. Overwhelmed by Possessions Before Moving In

Question from Sue Bay:
"After my husband died 20 years ago, I moved to a new city and into a condo to be near my daughter and her family. Now, at 81, I'm overwhelmed sorting through my possessions. It feels like I'm preparing for death while still alive. Do you have any thoughts?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Honor the Season of Life:
  Kendra encourages embracing this transitional phase with compassion, suggesting “Live in the season. Make decisions based on what you need now, not what you normally do.” (25:30)

• Utilize Donation Over Yard Sales:
  Instead of the exhausting yard sale idea, she recommends donating items to meaningful causes, such as organizations supporting women fleeing domestic violence or helping foster children, which provides a sense of purpose and ease in letting go.

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Parenting-Specific Questions

1. Playing with Kids

Question from Anna Engelmeier:
"I naturally lack the urge and know-how to play with my kids. With summer coming up, how can I lazy genius my way to playing with them for joy and fulfillment?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Redefine Play as Connection:
  “Connection can happen without play and pretend.” (30:00)
  Kendra suggests focusing on activities that foster connection without the pressure of traditional play, such as drawing together, sidewalk chalk activities, or collaborating on simple projects like building a fairy house.

• Incorporate Play into Everyday Tasks:
  Integrating playful elements into daily routines, like painting with challenges or interactive games during chores, can make interactions more enjoyable and less forced.

2. Handling a Child’s Reluctance to Participate in Activities

Question from Kaylin Rine:
"My child, almost 6, does an activity for 30 minutes twice a week before we leave. He whines about not wanting to go and loses interest midway. Do we try again in a few years or keep pushing?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Balance Resilience and Respect:
  Depending on your family's priority on resilience, decide whether to encourage persistence or honor the child's changing interests. Kendra shares her experience with her daughter quitting Taekwondo, emphasizing personal growth over rigid commitment.

• Decision-Making Flexibility:
  Encouraging children to make small, manageable decisions about their participation can empower them and respect their autonomy, fostering a healthier relationship with commitments.

3. Simplifying the Process of Buying Birthday Presents for Kids’ Friends

Question from Brooke Epps:
"Buying birthday presents for our kids' friends is exhausting. I want my kids to learn to be good gift-givers by noticing what their friends like, but the constant trips to the store are draining. Should I batch buy or let them choose individually?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Decide Once, Then Let Kids Choose:
  “Decide once on a category of gift, then let your kid pick within that category.” (35:45)
  For example, select a category like board games or snacks, and allow your child to choose the specific item, balancing ease with personal touch.

• Utilize Online Shopping:
  If avoiding store trips is a priority, opt for online orders within predefined categories, simplifying the process while still involving your child in the selection.

4. Navigating a Summer Pregnancy

Question from Taylor Lamond Rights:
"I'm due in September and the upcoming summer feels daunting at six to nine months pregnant. How can I lazy genius this season to stay comfortable?"

Kendra’s Response:

• Adapt to Seasonal Needs:
  “Make decisions for this particular summer based on what you need, not how you normally live your summer.” (40:20)
  Suggestions include using portable fans, scheduling outdoor activities during cooler times, modifying hairstyles for comfort, and incorporating more cold beverages like smoothies to stay hydrated and cool.

• Embrace Temporary Adjustments:
  Kendra encourages making temporary changes to routines and environments to accommodate the unique challenges of a summer pregnancy, ensuring comfort without permanent lifestyle alterations.

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Conclusion

In this Office Hours episode, Kendra Adachi adeptly addresses a wide range of listener questions, offering practical and compassionate Lazy Genius solutions. From personal burnout and relationship dynamics to niche household tasks and parenting dilemmas, Kendra's insights empower listeners to navigate their challenges with ease and intentionality. By fostering a sense of community and shared experience, she reinforces the core Lazy Genius philosophy: focus on what matters, and let go of the rest.

“Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.” (35:02)

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Notable Quotes

• On Empowerment Through Questions:
  “You do not necessarily need me or anyone else to solve your problems. Asking the question might just do the trick because you are smart and you know your life better than anyone does.” — Kendra Adachi (04:20)

• On Shared Experiences:
  “Hearing what other people are experiencing is wildly helpful in contextualizing our own lives.” — Kendra Adachi (07:15)

• On Prioritizing What Matters:
  “Every single thing that matters to you comes at the cost of something that matters less.” — Kendra Adachi (12:45)

• On Connection Without Traditional Play:
  “Connection can happen without play and pretend.” — Kendra Adachi (30:00)

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Episode #413, providing valuable insights and actionable advice for listeners seeking to apply Lazy Genius principles in their daily lives.

Transcript

[Kendra Adachi]

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[Catherine Wooten]

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[Kendra Adachi]

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[Catherine Wooten]

Days hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 413, office hours. So office hours episodes, we do those about once a quarter and you guys send in your questions, your challenges, your problems, and then I try and offer you a Lazy Genius solution. Katherine Wooten left this comment on the Instagram post about office hours and her thoughts are what I hope you experience too when you listen Katherine says this I love when you post the call for lazy genius questions, largely because I start thinking about what my current problems or issues are and end up answering my own questions just by actually phrasing what's stressing me into a question and thinking about it. So how do I lazy genius what to make for dinner on the nights when my husband is home late from work? Well, have you thought about making a meal matrix that's easy to reheat meals or decide once on a cold dinner like sandwiches? How do I lazy genius getting my kids to stop taking the cushions off the couch when they don't care about the house rules? Maybe live in the season of little kids needing to make couch cushion forts or try a smaller house rule or cushions back on the couch before dinner? I also like reading through other people's questions as it reminds me that other people are experiencing the same chaos as me. Okay, a couple of notes here. First, you do not necessarily need me or anyone else to solve your problems. Asking the question might just do the trick because you are smart and you know your life better than anyone does. Now, that's not to say we don't all need help and ideas sometimes, but don't start out assuming that you can't lazy genius something in your life. Just asking the question might spark a little help. The second thing is hearing what other people are experiencing. It is wildly helpful in contextualizing our own lives. You might think you're the only one dealing with something and then you read a comment or hear a question on the episode and you realize you are definitely not alone. A quick story so a couple of weeks ago I went to D.C. to speak to a group called Senate Moms. It is a bipartisan group in dc. It's moms who are either Senators or who work for senators. Well, they invited me to speak to their group with a view of the Washington Monument. Like it was this beautiful room. It's one of the coolest things I've ever gotten to do. But something surprised me that honestly shouldn't have surprised me. So I spoke for a few minutes and then we did a Q and A. I do Q and as often at speaking events, especially where the group is small enough to take questions. It's one of my favorite things to do. If you've ever been to one of my events and you've experienced a Q and A, you already know how much I love it, but also like how Valuable it is to the whole room that we're just talking about what we're dealing with. Well, I definitely was a little skeptical about whether or not I could help these women. They work at a breakneck speed. You know, they're brilliant, super capable people. I do not understand their jobs at all. One of y'all, one of Cory Booker's speaker speech writers, was in the room at this meeting just hours off after he had gotten off the Senate floor in that record breaking filibuster. She was like, yeah, it's been a. It's been a really, it's been a really busy week. It's like, it was crazy anyway, so I was a little bit like, what am I, what help am I going to give these moms? I should not have been surprised by what happened. The Q and A with these women. It looked exactly like every other Q and A that I've ever done. Like, for real. Senate moms were struggling to prioritize time with their kids. They were stressed out about life's little details. They were struggling with guilt. They were wondering how they were going to fit it all in. There were tears and permission and solidarity, just like every other Q and A that I've ever done. Let this be a reminder to us all, you are never alone in what you're going through. You're never alone. No problem is too small to matter. No problem is too big to not be able to face it somehow. Everyone is going through stuff, but everyone also has the capacity to invite compassion into those places. Whether you're home with tiny kids, taking care of your sick dad, trying to find purpose in your dead end job, or you're writing legislation on the Hill. So with that in mind, let's jump into today's questions. As always, I'm going to put the parenting, like kids specific questions on the back half so that if you're not a parent and you are limited on time, you can just stop listening if you'd like. Once we start those. Now, as is true with most of what I do here, I think that we can learn from each other's experiences. Even when they're different. Maybe especially when they're different. But I also get that you sometimes only have 10 minutes to listen. So let's make those 10 minutes meaty for you. All right, our first question comes from Melissa Marie, who writes, it seems like the world moves so fast. I try to prioritize myself and rest, but I still feel like I have a cycle of feeling burnout. How can I, lazy genius say no to more to leave more margin for myself and the things I care about. How relatable is this question, you guys? Right. So I have two thoughts. First, on a practical level, metabolizing your stress every day is essential to avoiding burnout. Many of you have read the book Burnout by the Nagoski sisters. And it's excellent. It's excellent. If you struggle with burnout and you have not read that book, it is your manual for sure. Truly, truly excellent. And the biggest takeaway for me from that book was that I have to release my stress. I have to do something every single day that metabolizes the stress my body and day will naturally build up. Now, I'm paraphrasing here, but in the book they basically say that we often pay attention to the stressors rather than the stress. We try and manage the stressors, the things that cause stress like kids and jobs and relationships and chores and all the things, but we don't actually deal with the stress itself that comes from moving, from creating, from laughing or connecting with others. Very doable, small human things. So that's the first thing. Tend to the stress more than the stressors and read Burnout if you would like more specifics. So the second thing has to do with what matters. No matter what matters, it will come at a cost. If you say that ambition and success at your job matters the most, even when it's to provide for your family that you love, that priority comes at a cost to other things. In this case, maybe it's your time, your energy, or your contentedness. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a trade off that exists no matter what. Kaz and I have chosen that we want our lives to be small, contented, and full of connection with our city and our people. We do not have professional ambitions. We don't try and make money at any cost. In my work, I say no to things all the time, even very lucrative things, because they would take me away from the priorities that I've chosen. Even priorities to stay small come at a cost. Every single thing that matters to you comes at the cost of something that matters less. And the sooner you expect and accept that trade off, the more ease you will have in letting things that matter less go. Melissa said that the world moves so fast. It really does. If you want to prioritize moving at a different speed than the world, it comes at a cost. Everything does. So choose what cost is worth it. I think that naming that is the first step in finding more ease in letting go. So I know that's not super super like particular and specific, but I hope that that mindset helps all of you. Especially you, Melissa, who wrote in okay, our next question comes from Becky Fowler, who writes Lazy Genius Evenings I'm trying to spend time and connect with my husband after our son goes to bed, but I'm also wanting to use that time for hobbies or tasks that need fun. Connection is important, but sitting in front of the TV seems like a waste of time, which is my husband's go to after dinner. Okay, the first thing I would encourage you to do is listen to episode 332, how to Enjoy your evening hours. We did a whole episode on this because of how real this challenge is, but specifically to your comment, Becky, particularly the mentions of TV and hobbies. This sounds a lot like me and my husband. His favorite thing to do after everyone is like mostly settled is to lie as flat as possible the couch and watch something that makes him laugh or watch sports. Like that's low key. His hobby. Honestly. Now mine can be that sometimes, but it's not sustainable is the only thing. So we do not treat every single night the same that is part of episode 332 that there are evenings where he's watching something and I'm sitting at the coffee table next to him painting. Or I might put in earbuds with white noise and I read while he watches tv, but I'm next to him like we're silent, contented companions together, even though we're technically doing different things. So to Becky and anyone else struggling with this, go listen to episode 332 if you would like more help.

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[Kendra Adachi]

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[Catherine Wooten]

Next is wildly specific and I love it. Kate from 4 Present Joys writes, Washing hand knit socks. Bear with me. I know that sounds niche. Yes, it does involve it involves soaking them in cold water and gentle soap in a bin that takes up counter space, waiting several hours while they soak, getting rid of most of the water, and then laying them flat to dry. I put it off because I hate doing it, even though I love knitting socks. And then I have a backlog of socks to wash, usually at the same time that my counter is full of dishes and my toddler has things spread across the floor where I usually lay them to dry. Space is an issue. In general, we're in a small apartment so options are limited. Okay, so this is deeply niche and also so great. Now I'm going to remind Kate and everyone listening of one of our favorite lazy genius Princip Put everything in its place. The socks do have places to go during their cycle of getting clean. You know, there's probably a hamper or something where they wait. There's the soaking bin that Kate already has and then there's some type of like laundry line or rack to dry or floor space. Maybe that's actually a thing to consider is to move the socks from the floor to like hanging them somewhere to dry. But it doesn't sound like the socks themselves need a place. It's more that the routine of washing the socks needs a place. I would like to suggest, Kate, that you plan and declare when it is Sock Day. On sock day, the main activity of the day for you and your toddler is to tend to the socks. On sock day you eat breakfast on disposable dishes so that cleanup is easier. On sock day, you cook your easiest lunch and dinner that doesn't require like prepping or counter space or dishes. Or you can even say that Sock day is take day. On sock day you watch a sock puppet video or you make your own sock puppet game with your kid while the actual socks soak. This sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. On Sock day you mark the moment and celebrate the fact that you love knitting socks and you want to honor that hobby and desire within yourself. So maybe on sock day you work on a current pair of socks while your toddler like makes yarn chaos on her own. Declare it Sock Day, Kate. Make it easy on yourself and have fun. Sometimes we don't need to put a thing in its place, we need to put an activity in its place. Okay, next up. I love the honesty and heart behind this next one. Sue Bay writes this after my husband died 20 years ago, I moved to a new city and into a condo to be near my daughter and her family. Now at 81, they have asked me to move into a suite in their home. The five of them lived with me for six months after their home sold quickly while they searched for a new home. So I know we will live harmoniously, but I find myself a bit overwhelmed sorting through my possessions. I almost feel like I'm going through my items for my death. Except I'm alive. That sounds morbid, but it seems this is the final purge. I have so much dinnerware, glasses, bowls, etc that my daughter suggested we both have a yard sale, but that just sounds exhausting. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks. So first I want to honor this season of life. Sue said that this feels like going through her stuff. It's like she's dead even though she's alive. The finitude of life is something that is kind of startling sometimes. But Sue, I just want to thank you for the compassionate and like even light heartedness that you're bringing to your own finitude. I Think we all need to think about that more. That's why Oliver Berkman's book 4000 Weeks is one of my favorites. He's basically like, hey, y'all, we're all going to die. Stop trying to manage your life and time like you're going to live forever. It's. It's very calming and clarifying in the best way. Now, the second thing, I hear you on the stress of a yard sale. Like, oh, now I do have an episode about yard sales. It is episode, episode 66. Had to look it up. The Lazy Genius yard sale, y'all. I still get DMS even from that super old episode about how people followed my approach for their yard sale and it went really great. So if, if money is needed, maybe your yard sale is. Would be worth it. You know, the exchange of time and energy for several hundred dollars, it would be great. But if money is less important and you would just like to say goodbye to the things that you no longer need, I would encourage you to find a place to donate that matters to you. Where I live, we have a thrift store whose proceeds and even the items themselves are specifically earmarked for women fleeing domestic violence. We have another non profit that collects donations for foster kids as they go to different placements, especially kids who are 18 and place out of the foster system with like no real resources. Or maybe there's an organization that works to house the unhoused and they need things like plates and bowls and all that that you have to, you know, help someone get started in a new home. So I think that donations, especially if they land somewhere that matters to you, are really wonderful. One other idea that I've done before when I was getting rid of a lot of stuff but I didn't want to host a yard sale is that I just texted all my people, like friends, neighbors, anyone who I didn't mind knowing where I live or had already been in my house. And I said, I'm about to donate a ton of stuff, come by during this time and just take whatever you like so you're not charging people that things are still going to a new place where they'll be used. So those are my ideas. Thank you so much for sharing with us, Sue. All right, now we're going to do a couple of kid and parenting specific questions. So if you're out of time and want to bounce, now's the time. First up, we have Anna Engelmeier, who writes, I'd love to hear how you lazy genius playing with one's own Kids. Mine are age 7. Through teenagers, I gravitate towards doing well with managing the household. I'm a good listener and nurturer and supporter. But I naturally lack the urge and know how to play. With summer coming up, knowing how to. Lazy genius. Playing with my kids would likely bring me lots of joy and fulfillment. So this is. This is totally me. I am not a mom who plays. I think that's actually the first line of the lazy genius way. I'm not a mom who plays. In fact, there is a study. I do not know the name of.

[Kendra Adachi]

It or any details, so, so sorry about that.

[Catherine Wooten]

That there was a study that found that moms are better at nurturing and dads are better at play. And I see it anecdotally all over the place. Dads can play. Dads are so good at playing. Moms have a harder time. So this is all in general, of course, like, it's not every family has a mom and a dad that exist as the parents anyway. That there are legit studies that prove it, which is wild. And I'm gonna say it's kind of comforting as a mom who doesn't play. So connection is the ultimate thing here, right? And connection can happen without play and pretend. So after you, like, release your own expectation to play the way you think you should, I want you to think about ways to creatively connect with your kids that do speak to what you enjoy and what makes you feel more alive and competent in. For me, I am not a pretend play person. I'm not. I'm not terribly silly. Even Annie, she will ask for. Cause specifically, she's like, I need to be silly because he's silly. And he will have so much fun with her in that way. Like, she's not wrong in saying that. That she and I do have plenty of ways that we connect with each other. We draw together a lot, which I love. A fun spin on this, to make it a little bit more, like, playful, is to do one of those, like those YouTube video prompts. They would call it, like, the three marker challenge or the five marker challenge. Everything is a challenge, but basically, like, you print the same coloring sheet out, and then you and your kid blindly choose three markers each, and then you have to color your whole picture with only those three markers. So that adds, like, a little bit of play to the art in a way that I find very doable. Other things that Annie and I do, we do sidewalk chalk and hopscotch. And I try to not wet my pants because hopping is a whole thing. It is Also, why I never go on the trampoline anymore. We read, we gather things to build a fairy house. We play board games. She makes homemade dough or, like, gross concoctions in the kitchen with just, like, old stuff from the fridge while I'm getting dinner ready, which is, like, togetherness and. And kind of play, but it's. I'm still doing what I need to do. We're just connecting it together, basically. You don't have to pretend. You can be on the lookout for ways to connect. That's the key word. Connection. Connection can totally happen without stereotypical pretend play. Thanks so much for your question, Anna. Okay, next up, Kaylin Rine writes, my child, who's almost 6, does an activity for 30 minutes twice a week at home before we leave. He whines about not wanting to go. He has zero problems during the activity, but loses interest about three quarters of the way through. There are not tears or extreme tantrums involved, but a serious case of whiny reluctance. We paid for the activity and want to raise kids who stick with a commitment and. But we also want to listen and respect a kid's opinion and interest. Do we try again in a few years? Do we keep pushing? What do we do? Okay, man. How. How real is this? I think a lot of parents struggle with this question, and spoiler alert, there's, like, not a clear answer. I think that so much of your default position lies in what matters most. So we are friends with a family who prioritizes resilience in a big way. They listen to and affirm their kids when things are hard, but they really do encourage them to stick it out so that the kids can know and experience in their bodies that they can do hard things. And I love that. I love that. And also, resilience is not as high of a priority in our house, which means we would handle a kid not wanting to do an activity differently than our friends would. And both ways are great. They simply come from different priorities. So if resilience matters a lot, it's okay to encourage the kid to keep going. Now for a little specific help. This is what we did when Annie was experiencing the same sort of reluctance in her Taekwondo class. She never really wanted to go. She had a good time when she was there, but she was like, pretty toast by the end of her class. It definitely felt like pulling teeth. It took a lot of energy from everyone. She never asked outright to quit because I think in some ways she liked it. Right? But she wasn't sure if she liked it enough. Now when I would ask her if she wanted to keep going or if she wanted to take a break and think about trying something new. She would always say she wasn't sure she wanted to quit and she wanted to keep going. So this is where I employed some excellent wisdom from my friend Emily P. Freeman, host of the Next Right Thing podcast. Emily is the kindest expert on decision making and discernment. And one of the things that she says is that decisions don't have to be, nor are they ever really a hundred percent, 100, 0. Sometimes the decision is 51, 49. We wait for it to feel like all the way good, but if we do that, we'll be waiting a really long time. So I actually shared that concept with Annie. I said, even if you want to quit just a tiny bit more than you want to stay, that's still enough. You don't have to totally want to quit or totally want to stay. It's okay for it to almost be the same. And then she, she like held her two hands next to each other, one just slightly above the other, and said, this hand is the quitting hand. So from there I was like, okay, well what do you think about going one more time knowing that your quitting hand is a little higher than the staying hand and you can just make sure whatever you want to do is what we'll do? And she went one more time. She had a good time, but she got in the car after and she was like, her quitting hand was still higher than her staying hand. So she quit Taekwondo. Everything we do, everything we do is helping us become a person. Everything our kids do is helping them become a person. I think rather than focusing so much on like whether you should push your kid to keep going or try again later, you think about the kind of person you and your kid are becoming, no matter the steps you take. Like, it's a longer life lesson anyway. All right, two more. Brooke Epps writes this. Buying birthday presents for our kids friends birthdays. I want them to learn to be good gift givers who notice what their friends like. But the time and energy of constantly taking trips to the store for all the birthdays is kind of exhausting. I'm tempted to batch it, but that would take away from them choosing what would be best for their friend. I love this question so much. So I'm a big fan of deciding once on a gift for friends birthdays. And that feels like the obvious answer here. But what I love with this question is if you want to prioritize your own kid being an active participant in the gift, especially in this beautiful thing of noticing what other people love. I love that. And because of that priority, deciding once can be harder. So here's my suggestion. First, start with your priority. Is it more important that the decision is easier once you're in the store, or is it more important that you don't have to go to the store at all? Because that feels like the. The problem point is the. The shopping itself. Okay, so if. If it's more the decision, like, if going to the store is fine, but really you just want the decision to be easier. Decide once on a category of gift, but then let your kid pick the thing that fits their friend the best within that category. So if your decide once is like a board game and your kid is going to pick a specific one for their friend, or maybe the decide once is a puzzle, and then your kid picks the picture of the puzzle, or maybe it's play DOH or kinetic sand or something. And then your kid picks their friend's favorite color of the play DOH or the sand. Or it's a fun bag of candy, and your kid picks their friend's favorite candy. Right. Also, side note, I will stand by snacks as, like, the greatest gift forever and ever. Our kids often get their friends, like, a whole bunch of their favorite snack. I remember giving that idea to Sam, my oldest, when one of his friends had a birthday. I think she was turning, like, 13 or something. Listen, he thought the idea was so dumb. He was like, why would I do that? I was like, dude, trust me. What's your favorite chip? He said it was salt and vinegar. And he knows this because he eats lunch with her every day. I said, okay, we're gonna get. What if we got every brand of salt and vinegar chips at the store, Everyone we can find. And then you can have, like, a huge bag of bags of chips. And she could even have fun deciding, like, which brand is her favorite. So he. He was like, all right. He relented. She was obsessed with the gift. And now that's like our go to for teenagers, snacks as gifts. Baby, they're so good. Okay, back. Back to the situation at hand, though. Back to the priority. So if your priority is to have the decision be easier but the store is fine, then you can make a decide once of a category and just pick within that category. If your priority is to not have to go to the store at all, do a similar thing. Think about categories of gifts, like snacks or board games or books, where you can order from your phone and have it delivered with your groceries or your next order of toilet paper or whatever. So name the priority and then have your kid decide within that sort of decide once situation, they can pick the specific version of whatever you have decided that's easier for you for their friend. Also, I just want to say again how precious it is to honor your kids being an active part in knowing what their kid like their friends like. I just think that's really dear okay, final one. Taylor Lamond Rights Pregnancy in the Summer I'm due in September and the summer feels so daunting at six to nine months pregnant. So I was pregnant with my first two kids over the summer and it was miserable. So solidarity. Taylor There are things like portable fans and moomoos because you know we need to get the pregnant lady comfortable. But I'm going to remind you of just one important thing instead because I don't even know fully if it's a heat thing like what the summer pregnancy problem specifically is, but I want to remind you of this Live in the season. So for example, if you are someone who does not normally belong to a pool because of the cost or something, or you know how often that you think you're gonna go, that you know that in this season being in the cold water is gonna be a delight, then join a pool just for the summer. If you usually enjoy being outside in other non pregnant seasons and you don't know how to make that work now because it's too hot, you're uncomfortable. Then like go out in the early mornings before it gets too hot. Do it differently this season than you would in others. Cut your hair or keep it longer so you can pull it up. Do your hair differently in this season because of the season that you're in. Drink smoothies more often to get your vitamins, but enjoy them because they're so cold. Right? Basically, make decisions for this particular summer based on what you need, not on how you normally live your summer. You're not deciding things forever. You're not trying to make this summer look like any other summer you ever had, you ever have lived before. You're trying to be cool and comfortable as much as humanly possible. So give yourself permission to make different decisions in this season to make that happen. I hope that's encouraging to you. All right, that is this month's office hours because we had so many of you write in today. We will not have a lazy Genius of the week this week, but this is a great chance to remind you where to send your submission if you want to be considered for Lacy Genius of the Week. Take any idea, even things that feel silly or small, maybe especially so and email it along with your name to hello the lazygeniuscollective.com and you can put Lazy Genius of the Week in the subject of your email. Latoya is our Director of Community and she will happily read your ideas, so thank you for sharing them with us. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.

[Tommy Morrissey]

Imagine if you could ask someone anything you wanted about their finances. How much do you make? Who paid for that fancy dinner? What did your house actually cost? On every episode of what We Spend, a different guest opens up their wallets, opens up their lives, really, and tells us all about their finances. For one week. They tell us everything they spend their money on.

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My son slammed like $6 with the.

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Blueberries in five minutes. This is a podcast about all the ways money comes into our lives and then leaves again. Which of course we all have a lot of feelings about.

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Because whatever you are buying or not buying or saving or spending at the end of the day, money is always about more than your balance. I'm Courtney Harrell and this is what We Spend. Listen to and follow what We Spend and Odyssey Original Podcast available now. Wherever you get your podcasts.

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Find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.