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- [00:00]
Indeed Advertiser
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- [01:02]
Kendra Adachi
The season with Smarter scent the Pura plus Diffuser lets you control your fragrance from anywhere with your phone. It's sleek, it's smart, and best of all, it's free. When you subscribe to $0.02 For a year fragrance has never been this easy. But hurry, this summer deal won't last. Head to pura.com and grab your free Pura plus diffuser today. Hey there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 426, Office Hours. These are our quarterly episodes where I take the questions that y' all shared with me on Instagram and and answer them here. As always, we will save the questions specific to parents for the end. Okay, well, let's just jump right in. So first up is Mika. Mika writes, after a weekend away, I'm awful at getting reset. Dirty laundry stays dirty. The car isn't emptied fully. Totes on totes on our entranceway filled with miscellaneous stuff. What order do I start with? Should I pack up differently? Be okay with it? Give myself until the next day or two? Lol. Buy doubles of everything so the miscellaneous just stays in the bag. Help. If you all knew how many of these questions end with help and an exclamation point. So many. All right, we're going to address a couple things here. First, Mika starts out by saying, I'm awful at getting reset. Now. I'm great with us being honest about our situations. Like some of us are awful at things. I mean, sure, but there's a lot of power in how we talk about stuff that we find challenging. If you frequently use words that are discouraging or you use broad strokes phrases like all the time or everything or never, you'll. You're not gonna find a lot of hope in those places. So first, I want you to notice when you're using language like, I'm awful at this without at least a little bit of kindness. Now, second thing, Mika said this. Should I give myself until the next day or two? Lol. Yes. Yes. Micah, it sounds like what you're saying is you're awful at making it look like you never left your house on the very day that you return. Now, while you can totally do that if you like, that is not the baseline expectation. Resetting after being gone for a weekend does not need to happen right away in order for it to be correct, in order for you to even be good at it. Things take time. That's okay. Third, I would choose an order for the tasks that you always follow when you get back. Like, it doesn't have to be the right order. It's just right for you. It's like a decide once. Right. It's your little routine when you get home. So here's an idea of what that could look like. You decide that when you get home, the first thing you're going to do is you're going to have everybody work together to bring everything in from the car. Like before hands are washed or people are settled or any of that. Everything comes in the house now, rather than dropping it in the middle of your main living area or like right by your door, which is probably a place you're gonna have to look at it until it's gone. I would pick a space that's kind of off center in your house and have everyone leave everything there. Maybe it's like all by the washer and dryer, even though it's not all laundry. Maybe it's in like a rarely used dining room. That's where ours is. Maybe you have a mud room. And just the idea here is to have a central location that everything from the car, that's where it goes. And that location is not your living room or wherever you live most of your life. Okay. So that's the first thing you just. That's what always happens. All right, everybody get everything from the car before you do anything else. We're getting everything out of the car. Okay. Then you've brought it all in to this one location. Great. Maybe next you have like an order of the things that you're going to put away. Like maybe your order is food, laundry, everything else. Or maybe you just decide to go like tote by tote, suitcase by suitcase, regardless of what you choose. My point here is just choose, choose an order. Decide once, like this is what I do, right? This is what I do. This is what we do like as a family all the time. And I would say get help with that. It's not just like you. If everybody is bringing everything in, have everybody have like a specific job, maybe that they do every time you come home.
- [05:37]
Carvana Advertiser
Thanks for selling your car to Carvana. Here's your check.
- [05:40]
Kendra Adachi
Whoa. When did I get here?
- [05:41]
Carvana Advertiser
What do you mean?
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Kendra Adachi
I swear it was just moments ago that I accepted a great offer from Carvana online. I must have time traveled to the future.
- [05:48]
Carvana Advertiser
It was just moments ago. We do same day pickup. Here's your check for that great offer.
- [05:52]
Kendra Adachi
It is the future.
- [05:54]
Carvana Advertiser
It's. It's the present. And just the convenience of Carvana. Sorry to blow your mind.
- [05:59]
Kendra Adachi
It's all good. Happens all the time. Sell your car the convenient way to Carvana. Pick up. Times may vary and fees may apply. Possibility means you have a chance. Passion opens the door to all possibilities. When I feel like anything's possible, I feel kind of giddy. I want to be an astronaut, an artist, an actress, to visit another country. All I need is a backpack and a pair of shoes and I'll find a way I'm able to do anything I set my mind to. I've never felt like more things are possible than right now. In the right shoes, anything's possible. Dsw. Countless shoes at bragworthy prices. Imagine the possibilities.
- [06:38]
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- [07:11]
Dermalogica Advertiser
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- [07:43]
Kendra Adachi
Next up is a question from Mark Hella, who I have met in real life and just think is the greatest. Okay, so Markella's earnestness in this comment made me laugh so hard. She writes, do I need fiber, protein, magnesium? Awaited walking vest? What are we supposed to be doing right now? This is the question for every woman over 40. What are we supposed to be doing right now? I don't have an actual answer to what we're supposed to be doing right now, but I did want to take a minute to acknowledge this question because it is so real. I feel it too. Like, what all am I supposed to be doing? While it could be protein and fiber and magnesium, I hope not a weighted walking vest. Cause I already sweat too much. It's hard to parse through, like, all the things to figure it out. So here's my answer. It's kind of dark, but here we are. My answer is, remember that you're finite. Remember that no matter what you do and how much you care for your body, you cannot stop the fact that you might get sick or that you will for sure die. Like, I know again, it's very dark. But also, like, to me, it's kind of a relief. I think, that so much of our hustle in this world is trying to stay in control of our lives and somehow prevent ourselves from, like, aging or declining. We're always trying to grow and be better and do more. That's in so many industries, right? And the wellness industry is most definitely an industry. Now. I'm not trying to be a skeptic here. Like, I put protein powder in my coffee every morning. I lift weights almost every day. Like, this is what it means to be like, 43, apparently. But if we live thinking that there's a right way of taking care of our bodies in order to keep them from eventually dying, we're always gonna be chasing that rather than just, like, doing whatever we can with what we have and enjoying our life where we are. So my advice in what are we supposed to be doing? Is to just focus on what resonates with you, what is confirmed by your doctor, what makes your body feel good and what you have the energy and ability to make happen in your life in small ways. Taking care of ourselves is worth the time it is. But I also don't know if all of us have the ability to make our health a part time job now. Some people do, or they make the sacrifice too, and I think that's great. And there are even certain situations that might necessitate that. But for the average lady just doing her job, tending to her people, trying not to crash at 4 o' clock every day, start small, listen to your doctor, listen to your body and move. I know we should move. As annoying as it is. We need to. We need to move now. The weighted walking vest is optional, but I do know we need to move. All right, next up is Erin Weldon. Aaron writes I would love help lg ing meal planning, specifically dinners. I know it's a struggle for many, but it feels tough because of my family's preferences. My husband wants to have meat with every meal. I am a vegetarian, mostly vegan. My 7 year old is selective. My husband would happily eat the same familiar meals over and over. He has the same salad for lunch every weekday. Every weekday is in all caps here. I like our standards, but I also need variety and to try new recipes sometimes. I've tried everything the meal matrix, the dinner queue, purchased meal plans, asking chatgpt. But for these reasons it seems like none of the typical solutions like hellofresh or crock pot meals work for us. We also both work full time and like cooking, but don't have much energy for it at the end of the day. What matters is that we eat dinner together most nights of the week, that we usually eat a version of the same meal that my 7 year old has, familiar foods he'll eat and a stretch food or two to try that we eat relatively healthy. Typing this all out makes me realize it's just too many parameters to meet, but it's our current reality. Please help. There's another one with help and an exclamation point at the end. All right, Aaron is in such an understandable place, one that a lot of you listening probably can hear. I chose to read this question, not to answer it, but to point out what Aaron said at the end. She said, typing this all out makes me realize it's just too many parameters to meet. And that is true. It's also Aaron's reality. But there are some things that have to go. You can't have eating together and eating some version of the same meal and variety all exist equally. With so many food restrictions, one of those has to take the back seat. Now maybe that's not the case forever though. You know, I can see a world and in situations like this where there are just so many parameters where the approach kind of changes week to week, like one week a month is variety week. Or like eat what you want to week something that adds some spark into the meals without it being tied to. This is what we're gonna do always. You know, maybe there's like a three week rotation that you do repeat, but then one week a month you don't follow that at all. You know, and it might be that the seven year old is eating cereal or everybody's eating something different from one another or, or like Aaron, you and your husband are cooking different things that you're both excited about. Like I, I always listen, I will always come for the guy who has food preferences but doesn't contribute to making them happen. I'm not saying that's true of Aaron's husband, but gone are the days of the men in the home saying they need meat at every meal but not partnering with their wives to make it happen in those situations. So just putting that out there. So in short, you can't make everything matter. As hard as it is, something has to go week to week. Now you can change what that is over time. You can alternate priorities, but ultimately not all of those things can matter every single day of your lives. Not without massive compromise and partnership. And if that feels too hard, just eat the same five things over and over again and try something new as often as you get inspired to. Okay, these last couple of questions are going to be kid centric questions. First is Bailey, who writes solo parenting for two months while husband is away for med school rotations. I'll have a one year old and an almost four year old. We live in Arizona and it will be 90 plus. Still. How do I handle the mornings solo? I'm trying to start small, but even that is a big ask. Haha. So when we are on the cusp of a transition of like a new season of life and it has challenges to it, it always feels really big. It's like looming and unknown. It's hard to imagine how we're going to do it. So we spend energy trying to figure it out before we get there. And that energy often doesn't land us anywhere helpful, at least for very long. So the first thing that I will remind Bailey and anyone else who is in this situation is that we cannot figure out a new season before it begins. We can't prepare so much that it'll all be okay. Remember the plan? Remember the time management book I wrote? Plan is an acronym. You can't just prepare in order to live. You also need to adjust and notice. You have to be in it. You have to see what's working. You have to make small adjustments. You then you prepare a little more. You continue that dance forever and ever. You cannot prepare yourself into a new season. It is impossible. So stop trying. But what you can do is you can start small by naming something about that transition that feels the most overwhelming and start working to make that smaller. Now, Bailey has kind of already done that, I think, by naming the weather and the mornings. Now, I'm not sure why handling the mornings solo is different from handling the whole day solo, but maybe there's like a morning routine that could help add some stability. Remember, lazy genius routines are not about a list of sequential things that you do. They really are based on a feeling you want to experience at the end. Right. The routine itself is an on ramp to a specific feeling or experience or, or goal. It is not a list of things to do. That means that what you do, it can change as long as you're prioritizing whatever it is you're after. So maybe it's calm or adventure or being energized. You know, name that thing. Brainstorm a few things that could lead you there and then consider how you might be able to do one or two on mornings when it makes sense. The other approach is like a meal matrix where you, you know, you eat certain things on certain days. You can do things on certain days, you know, or even just one or two days a week. Knowing that on Tuesdays you're always going to go for a drive and then go to a new before it gets too hot in the day is like a great anchor in the week. But the answer I think is that's the most important in this is to try to not over prepare. You cannot prepare your way into a new season. Okay, the next question is from Fashionista pregnancy with a 6 and 3 year old with horrible morning sickness. How can I do what must be done while living a life that consists of half the energy and half the ability? I feel guilty for a summer that won't be quite as full as normal. That last sentence is the only thing we need to pay attention to here. You're we're not going to try to figure out what you need to do to live and get your stuff done. We're paying attention to the guilt for a summer not being quite as full as normal. Because once you deal with that, the first half will take care of itself. I hear this all the time from parents for lots of different reasons. You know, the mom is pregnant or sick or starting a new job or lost a job and therefore lost income. And so this season, this summer is different than normal and they feel terrible about it. You guys, you do not have to feel this way. In fact, I rarely see it being the reality anyway. Kids are not lying in bed at night thinking, man, this summer is not at all like it was last year. They're three. They just want to be with people who make them feel happy and safe. They want to do things that bring them joy. And joy can come in so many different packages and at different paces depending on the season. So many of you listening are big preparers. And those are the ones who often ask questions like this and feel guilty that something isn't the way it usually is. That cannot be a goal for your life. Remember that learning to pivot is way more important than learning to plan, figuring out how to hack your energy or hack the schedule to trick the kids into feeling like summer is the same or that everything is normal or that you're getting a lot done. It is just not the way that we need to live. Be where you are. Honor the body you have now. Live in your season. Just like the last question, you cannot prepare yourself into a hard season. It's just not a thing. Adjust and notice and adjust and notice and prepare a little and then just keep living. Be done for now with what you've got to do. It's all going to be okay. Your kids are not going to have a ruined childhood because this summer is slower. Okay, next is Emily Meyer who writes, how do you lazy genius? A toy reset surrounding birthdays and Christmas. When a lot of gifts come in. I know a purge in advance would help with this, but I never make it a priority. Signed, currently drowning in five year old twin birthday toy piles. Do you know what the problem is here? It's not the purging or the rhythm or needing to have some sort of gift philosophy to share with grandparents and stuff. It's that you're currently drowning in birthday toy piles that haven't been put away yet. Like for real. I can see it. I can see it. This happens to us every Christmas in our house. Everybody has gifts. We put new things under the tree like, like after they're unwrapped and everything. That's where they stay. But then eventually those things need to get put away by whoever they belong to. But as we stare at the piles for a day, for two, three or more, it activates our preparation brain. It turns on our big black trash bag energy, and it makes us think that we've got to systemize this thing when really, you just need to put the toys away now. If there is literally no room for those toys, there is no place for them to go. Then remove things that the kid wants to trade out. Do it together, like in the moment. Pick up the things. Say, you know, we only have so much room in your room, so we want to make room for this new truck set that I'm holding in my hand that you're so excited to play with. What are we ready to say goodbye to? We can let another kid play with so we have room for the truck and then give that thing that you pull out to a friend or donate it and then be done. You don't need a purging calendar. You just need to put your stuff away. Last question is from Hillary Daniel. How do I keep my kids entertained at home while I work from home eight hours a day? I live in Georgia, and sending them outside feels like punishment. Screens are great, but I feel guilt for implementing them all day. Okay, so this is a more common question over the last few years, isn't it? Like, I feel like I'm not gonna say anything terribly new, but these are my immediate thoughts. Then the first one is, you can't, you can't. You can't keep your kids entertained at home while you work from home eight hours a day, every day. Not without help or not without that help being like, probably a screen pretty significantly. This is just not a sustainable way to live for some people. It is what is required. And therefore, you gotta make some big changes and compromises in this season. Now, structure matters, you know, at least a little. So if, if not being on screens all day matters to you, then you could have like a no screens before 11 o' clock rule. That's something that we do sometimes that works really well for us. Now, those rules, they could be creative with whatever, you know, you. Their kids want to do. You know, they can go outside if they want. They can read, they can build something like whatever, but they just sort of know that the structure is there's no screens before this time. And that adds that add some structure. You could also add structure by having certain days of the week have a different priority. So, like, you know, it could be that, like, maybe on Mondays, the kids need to work together to accomplish some kind of task, like a housework situation, depending on how old they are. Like, they prep the snacks and the lunches for the week or something. Maybe one day a week you have a sitter or a family friend come and hang out at your house with their kids. Like, if I had a friend who had to work full time from home and didn't have childcare, didn't have, you know, the kids were just there. I wasn't working from home, and I also had my kids the same age. I would just take my kids to her house and hang out there for a few hours. Like, that's almost easier for me because the kids have friends to play with. You know, you could have like another day that involves, like making. You know, it's like, this is the day that you're gonna make stuff. You're gonna write music, you're gonna build something, you're gon. You're gonna bake, you're just gonna make something. You get the idea, you know, and then maybe. Now this is the thing that I think is important. Maybe one day a week, like Fridays, it could be a rot day. I borrowed that phrase from Jamie Golden. We use it in our house now. We have rot days where there are no screen restrictions at all. And those days are great. Like, having those days sometimes is really great. And if the kids know they're coming, then they're not as resistant to other days that have a little bit more structure. But ultimately, working from home without childcare is incredibly challenging. Almost like impossible really. So you have to either be creative, like relentlessly creative with kids who can, like, take it and self motivate, or you have to call it a season and just live in it. You just gotta live in it. And that means some compromise. And that's okay. No one's gonna be ruined for the rest of their lives because they spent a summer watching tv. They'll be okay. All right, you guys, thanks everybody for your questions. We will do another Office Hours episode in about three months, and I look forward to hearing what you guys have to say then. Speaking of hearing what you have to say, what a great segue that is. It is our annual survey time. We need to hear from you about what you are enjoying from the lazy genius space, what you would like more or less of, and what you would like to see in the future. We have got questions about the podcast, the playbooks, the email list, all the things, and your feedback matters in a massive way. It like, literally determines what we do and don't do because this work is for you. So we really appreciate your input. As a thank you, we are randomly drawing five winners to get a hundred dollars to the store. Of your choice from a list like Target, Sephora and rei just because the list we have, they do really good online gift certificates and I hope you win. I hope you win. But thank you for taking the time to fill out this survey. Whether you win or not, it really is crucial and helpful and we are so grateful for your feedback. The link is in the show notes so you can click on that. Take a couple of minutes to fill it out and then we would love to have it by July 21st. So we've got one more week to do that, so thank you so much for doing it. All right, before we go, let's Celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week. This week it is Lexi Frankhauser. Lexi writes, I'm an avid cook and collect all of the things spices, sauces, seasonings. My pantry is full of delicious potential because I like to be ready to make a specific meal or 12 at any given time. The problem is that I end up forgetting what I have, which leads to buying duplicates or letting a culinary inspiration die a sad death because I can't find what I need. The solution I found was to organize my pantry by cuisine or intended use instead of by container or type of thing. For instance, instead of grouping canned tomatoes, chickpeas, water chestnuts, and refried beans in a can section, they join their buddies in the respective Italian, Mediterranean, Asian and Latin sections. When I want to make a certain kind of cuisine, the search is faster. Plus it's easier to know what I have and what I need. There's still a space for all purpose ingredients that we use often, but organizing my pantry by in by cuisine and how they'll be used works way better for me than organizing by the shape of the container that the ingredient comes in. Holy moly. I love this. What a great idea. If you love to cook different cuisines, organizing your pantry by cuisine, it makes all the sense in the world. I'm pretty sure this was something that I wrote about in the Lazy Genius kitchen. When you're organizing your stuff is you don't have to organize it in the way that everybody says, right? Like that's a perfect example of doing what works for you, even if it's not like the standard way. Most people do organize a pantry by like size and shape for sure, but that doesn't work for everyone. For Lexi, organizing by cuisine works so much better. So I love this. Thank you for sharing Lexi, and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the Week. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi. An executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks, y', all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week.