Kendra Adachi (co-host or alternate voice) (23:16)
All right, now let's talk about the things that wake us up. Or at least the things that wake me up. Now, maybe a good way to think about this is like, what makes you feel alive, you know, what makes being yourself completely frictionless. You know, doing things where being ourselves feels easy. That's going to help us stay connected to the truest part of who we are. Even when, you know, the roles and the tasks in life can try and knock us off kilter a bit. It's. It's that buzz again, right? It's that feeling of like just being right in the pocket of who you are. I have a friend who feels that way when she's listening to someone share what they're struggling with. Like, there's very little that makes her feel more alive than that. She's so herself and present in that moment and it's. It's really something to watch. So the buzz is not necessarily like roller coaster level activity. You know, it can literally be sitting quietly with a friend on a couch listening, but the buzz in your bones is there. That feeling of like, I'm supposed to be doing this, like, this is who I am. That's a beautiful feeling to look for and cultivate. Now I have a few of these and they're not things I normally share when I talk about, like versions of rest or what's saving my life or anything. All of these might be like a little new to some of you, even OG listeners. So the first one, well, this one's not surprising. The first one is being with my people. That's, you know, based on what I said earlier about being a relational person, that's not surprising at all. But being with my people is maybe my favorite thing that just lights me up. I get so much energy from being around people, especially people who know and love me. There's just nothing like it. Now, one of the things I'm slowly trying to incorporate into my life because of how important it is for me to be with People are like, regularly scheduled times with them. So my. You've heard us talk about this before. My friend and your favorite spiritual director, Emily P. Freeman, have a monthly morning on the calendar where we work together at a coffee shop and then we have lunch after. So even in seasons of life where we don't see each other as often as we used to, we have that. We can always count on it. It's like a repeated calendar item. We know that it's coming. It's like, decide once, baby. It's fantastic to have that in place. And I want to do more of that. And I've already actually started. So, like. Cause and I are starting to do a weekly quick dinner out, just us, which has been so good. Some of my girlfriends and I have started this monthly lunch date. Doing these regular things is so good for cultivating our relationships. But for me, it's doubly important because it helps me feel more like myself. The second thing that wakes me up is talking. What a vibe that is. But y', all, I'm such a talker. I normally, very regularly, will cap out my 15 minute Voxer limit. Like, your girl says some words. My favorite thing is when someone sends me a voice memo that's like three minutes long, and they're like, I'm sorry I talk so long. I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm just getting warmed up. Three minutes. Anyway, I am a talker. And when someone gives me the freedom to do that, to say as many words as I need to say and process what I'm thinking and just, like, go overboard with how excited I am about whatever it is, like, I genuinely feel super alive now. Side note, that makes the balance of listening even more important for me to tend to. Like, because I'm such a natural talker, I want to work even more at being a good listener. Sometimes I'll be in a conversation with someone and I'll have to tell myself, like, in my brain, Kendra, don't open your mouth. Don't do it. Don't you. You don't have anything to say right now. It's okay. Just listen. Just listen. Just listen. Like, it's hilarious. But I feel very alive when I'm able to talk. I feel that way here in this work. Like, I love being on mic and talking to you guys through this podcast. I love talking in rooms when I'm on book tour. One of my strengths is being able to communicate, albeit with a lot of words. And it's just part of who I am. So the more I accept that as part of who I am, the more I'm going to embrace doing it and like, not be embarrassed about it. But talking is also how I figure stuff out. It's how I figure out what I think. Like, I cannot internally process. It is genuinely not how my brain works. I read this quote from the book the Colony, which is a novel. It's like not a brain book at all. It's a. It's a sparse, weird novel about a tiny group of people who go off grid. It's great. But anyway, in that book, the narrator describes the relationship between one of the characters and. And words. And it. It was like someone was looking into me. It was so great. So I want to see if this resonates with you. Here's a quote. When she was alone, she sometimes felt blocked up. Like her head was full of fruit and her speech was a juicer that allowed the fruit to be used. There was no room for anything new until the old had been squeezed out in the form of finished thoughts or opinions. Walking around alone was sometimes straight up uncomfortable. Her head in a jumble, she couldn't grasp her thoughts. Y', all, that is me to a T. And then what's funny is I know some of you are the actual opposite. Like, saying the words actually makes the juice worse. It's better for things to stay in your head until they're fully formed. And even still saying them out loud, it. It can diminish your confidence in them. It's just wild how different people are. I really love it. But anyway, my point is I. I need, I need to talk. I need to talk it out. Like I'm a stopped up juicer. If I'm quiet for too long. I still try and cultivate the opposite to make sure I'm comfortable with silence. You know, I just want. I want to be comfortable with solitude. It's the same kind of thing. I want to be a good listener. But like, ultimately, when I get to talk, I'm. I'm buzzing all over. Oh, well, okay. The third thing that wakes me up is like, it's a little broad, but like, I love, I love cheering. I love cheering because I'm competitive. I love cheering on someone. I love when they're doing something that they love. Like, I don't know, playing a game or a concert or being in a play. Something like that. I love cheering on friends when something special happens in their lives. I love watching football with my family, either on TV or like @ the high school stadium and yelling and waving my pom pom and like having a blast. I love being part of something that is focused on another person where there is some kind of competition or performance or celebration of a job well done. I just love it. I cannot get enough. It lights me up all over. I love it so much. I actually wonder if another way to think about this category of things that wake us up is what moves you. Like, what is uniquely planted inside of you that just moves you to some level of emotion. I am all the way moved watching my oldest play his music. Like, I can feel it in my gut, the happiness and excitement and leaning toward him that I feel. And I don't think that's just because I'm his mom. I mean, partly it is that I feel that way towards other people who are not in my family. Like, I am moved when people are doing something that makes them feel alive, like performing or telling a joke or whatever. The thing is, like, I love celebrating people in those things. So maybe as you keep listening to, like, my personal list of what wakes me up, maybe another phrase to consider for yourself is what moves you. Cheering on stuff. It moves me a lot. Okay. The fourth thing that wakes me up and makes me feel totally like myself is figuring something out. I love to problem solve. Holy moly, it is. It's why we're probably going to start incorporating more office hours episodes into this podcasting schedule. Y' all really like them, and I absolutely love trying to figure out a solution for what ails the people. But I'm that way at home with friends, at church, at my kids schools. I'm like, how can we make this work better? How can we eliminate what doesn't matter what's actually going on here. Now, sometimes that is not mine to do, and I have to metaphorically sit on my hands. But sometimes it can be mine to do or literally is because I'm in charge of the thing. And when that happens, I'm just a live wire. Like, it's the best feeling. I'm so myself. It's why when I do book events, you know, every couple years that a book comes out, my favorite part is the Q and A, like by a country mile. I believe I have been given the natural ability to hear a question, see the problem, and be able to offer something that helps make that problem feel lighter. It's. It's one of my favorite things about myself, and I'm grateful that that's how I've been made. We need all the kinds of all the people, right? And that includes problem solvers. We don't now we don't want a whole world of problem solvers that would be like way too stressful. But just like we need listeners and caretakers and inspiring leaders and second in commands and cooks and stewards and gardeners and all the things, like we need problem solvers. I am one. And when I get to be in a way that helps somebody, it's like the best feeling in the world. And I feel like I'm doing exactly what I made to do. And then the final thing that wakes me up is anything that activates my passionate side that can be the competition that I already mentioned. Stories that keep me up at night. Am I reading, you know, things I have to share, like a favorite TV show, I will die on the hill, that it is the best thing ever. Like anything that I am passionate about wakes me up. I honestly think that passion is one of the things that makes the world go round. Like now. We can't all be passionate about the same things. That's crazy. We can't all care about the same things. But together as a collective, like, we all get to care about our specific things that move us and wake us up and ignite our passion. And if we all follow those things rather than try and dilute our energy to deal with all, all of it individually, we can actually make more of a difference in the world. But passion is also something that just makes life fun. Like, have you ever been around someone who is so beautifully passionate about whatever it is they love? And even though you don't love that thing, you love the passion in that person. You love how much they care. Like it adds to the joy of life to allow people to be passionate, to allow yourself to be passionate. That might be like a universal thing that wakes us all up is passion. You know, what gets you so revved up? Like, what can you argue about for way longer than anything else? What can you enjoy to your marrow that you want everyone to know about? Naming what you're passionate about and enjoying it is such a beautiful way to be an integrated person in this world. You're connected to the most energetic parts of yourself and activating it, inviting it into conversation and relationships. And because the things we're passionate about often feel like they're like self propelling, self fueled, they're less draining. You know, when you do things that you love or you care deeply about, you have a lot more energy to do them or talk about them. For example, my husband is like a Super chill guy. Enneagram9, middle school counselor. He's quiet, he's content, he's love. He's a great balance to my like not super chill, enneagram one professional talker Persona. But when he gets talking about bakeries and food he loves, the man is a different person. He could talk about focaccia for an hour without running out of things to say. It's the cutest thing. I share that to say that even like being a quiet person, like even the quiet among you listening right now, right? You have things that you're super passionate about. Bring those things out when it's safe to do so. Let people see you're crazy about focaccia or thrifting or literacy advocacy or whatever. The thing is like stoking your passions will absolutely help you feel more integrated and more like yourself. So in summary, you might resonate with these two different categories of ways to feel like yourself. You need ways to fill up and you need other ways to wake up. Both help you become a more integrated person. I read, I enjoy music, paint, bake, and cultivate solitude in order to fill up. And I spend time with people. I talk, I cheer, I solve problems, and I enjoy my passionate side. To wake up. I hope that my lists help you identify yours and Those are the 10 ways that I feel like myself. Today's A Little Extra Something is a peek into what is in our newsletter this month. Actually, it's two newsletters now, which is very exciting. So if you don't get either, here's the deal. The latest Lazy Letter is a monthly newsletter of personal things that I share that don't really land anywhere else. And then the book list is our brand new one. It's where I share reviews for all the books I read the past month. So many of you guys shared in our recent survey that you would like more behind the scenes info. And so today that's what you're getting. I'm going to share a little bit as it relates to the newsletters, like the behind the Scenes of it All. So both newsletters release on the first Wednesday of every month. So I write them on the day before that. Like I write them on the Tuesday of Sometimes it's the first Tuesday, sometimes it's the last day of the month, which gets complicated. Who cares? But it's on my work calendar in like bold red that it is newsletter day. That means it is very wise for me to adjust how I approach that week's podcast episode since I will be devoting a huge chunk of my work time to writing those newsletters. Well, this week that did not happen. This week I sat down on my laptop on Tuesday, not having worked the day before, since it was Labor Day and I was doing things with my family, you know, so I was very behind. I felt very behind, actually felt more behind than I probably was in reality. For those of you got that newsletter, you know that the night before I also had not slept because Annie was having trouble sleeping. And so I sat down at that laptop on Tuesday with very little energy and feeling pretty overwhelmed. And often how I'm feeling when I sit down at the laptop is what informs what I write. This podcast is planned out way in advance. Topics are chosen months before they release. And even though we have the freedom to change topics if we need to, that rarely happens. The newsletter, however, that has no plan. It just gets whatever, like, raw. Kendra sits down that day. I'm a responsive person, meaning I feel the most like myself. And I'm responding to where I am right now and who I am with right now, which is why I can't plan what I want to personally share. I don't know what that is until I get in front of my computer with like a few hours in front of me ready to type. So this month I typed a lot of words about trying to make it through busyness and tiredness and overwhelm, because that's what I was experiencing on that day that I needed to write. I think that if my life had been less busy and my focus was on, like a cool meal planning approach or how I simply cannot get enough of re watching Stranger Things, the essays in the newsletter, they would have matched to that energy that that's how I write. I write what I'm dealing with right then in the newsletter. And so this month was dealing with a very tired, slightly overwhelmed Kendra. I don't mind that being the process because I think it makes the whole thing feel more human because it very much is, like, legit. Right now. I am distracted by this, like, super thick hair that is growing out of my face. And I'm thinking, like, hey, maybe we can talk about favorite tweezers, like, right now. That's what I should tell everybody on the show. Like, I'm very immediate and responsive in my content when given the opportunity. So if you would like some of that energy, you can give the latest lazy letter a try. It's once a month and it's a favorite thing among many folks around here. The other part of the process that you might not know about with our newsletters is that other members of Team LG read the newsletter after I write it to make sure that I'm being thoughtful in my words and I'm not unknowingly being insensitive or ignorant about something. You know, we're human, so we miss things. But I think it's really important to share that we really do value different perspectives and have it built into our processes to notice where we might have missed the mark. It matters to us to be a place where everyone feels seen, even when I'm sharing, like, super personal stuff. So that's a little extra something for you this week. A little behind the scenes on the monthly newsletter. It's already gone out for September, but you certainly sign up and get the next one in October. Plus, at the bottom of every newsletter is a link to archived ones, so you can read as far back as you would like. All right, let's celebrate the Lazy Genius of the Week. This week, it's Rosie from Richmond, Virginia. I'd really just want to call you Rosie from Richmond. Rosie from Richmond writes, I absolutely hate the five minutes of getting everybody and everything into the house. The dog goes crazy, both kids immediately want something, and I have all the crap to carry inside. Backpacks, work bags, jackets, lunchboxes, artwork, trash, trash, etc. It always puts me in a bad mood for what's already a difficult window of time. Recently, it dawned on me, go in the right order. That's a lazy genius principle. I always assumed that I had to get the kids out first, but I finally realized that's the problem. Now I tell the kids I'm gonna bring all the stuff inside and feed the dog, then get them out. It takes like two minutes and they are happy enough to just sit in their car seats. Then when I get them out of their car seats, I can actually attend to them rather than trying to do all the other stuff at the same time. It's made a huge difference. Rosie from Richmond. This is spectacular, y'. All. The right order really can do wonders. Like, I bet there are places in your own life where you are stressed out and annoyed and you could flip the order and that could make a huge difference. Just like you're doing the same things, just do them in a different order and see what happens. I absolutely love the thoughtfulness of this Rosie. Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the week. All right, as we close today, here is a mini pep talk for accepting help. Basically, if someone offers to help you, say yes. That's it. Like, that's the pep talk. I know a lot of you are capable and can handle hard, busy seasons. Without help, it's a tougher hang and you're more tired at the end of the day. But you've been doing a lot on your own for a long time. It's sometimes easier to just take it all on yourself. But then when you hit that emergency that day or season where you really do need help, you really do need someone to swoop in and make a meal or sit with you at the hospital or watch your kid while you tend to a family emergency, you don't have the muscle memory to ask for help, let alone accept it. I think that saying yes to tiny moments of help and offering them to your people, it is an investment in the times when you simply can't say no. Now, that's not a reciprocity thing. It's not like you're building up a bank so that when you ask, it feels deserved. No, that's not what I mean. It's helping you as a person get more comfortable with accepting small help so that you're not as burdened when you need to accept big help. It's learning to live with the discomfort of someone else doing your laundry or mowing your yard or picking up your slack at work and going to the pharmacy to get you a COVID test or something. You know, like, we need each other. We need each other so much not to just like, do the tasks or run the errands. We need to practice being there for each other. We need to practice being neighborly, being friendly, showing up for our rider dies and small things. We need to practice receiving those small offerings of a coffee on a busy morning. Or like today. A friend of mine literally texted me after reading my newsletter and said, hey, I have margin to pick up kids from school. Would you like me to take your route today? And I said yes. I could have done it, but it was really, really helpful that she could. So I said yes. Say yes to accepting something that isn't dire but sure is nice to be given. Accept help when someone offers, find a reason to say yes. And that's your mini pep talk on accepting help. If this episode was helpful to you, or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, it would mean the world if you would share this episode with a friend or leave a kind review on Apple podcasts. Both of those things, they seem small and in some ways they are. But it's those small things that add up to get the show in front of more people. And the world needs more lazy geniuses. So thank you for sharing and listening and supporting this show this podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to thelazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it. Thanks y' all for listening and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.
