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Kendra Adachi
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Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast isn't about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this podcast. We value contentment, compassion and living. In our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are Lazy Geniuses being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 436, how to pivot Gracefully, a guide for the sick, tired and overwhelmed. Up until a few hours before recording, this was going to be an episode on dealing with sickness. Like all by itself. You know, we're entering the cold and flu season, so the timing made sense to get us thinking and prepared. Not so much on like a medical level, but on an emotional one. And then I was forced into my own graceful pivot with a migraine that impacted the entire week because of what work it displaced. And I spent several days like readjusting tasks and priorities and emotions and rest because of this one migraine. And then a couple days later I was knocked off my own tracks when I by some items in the news that made me feel all kinds of things from my kids who had so many big questions about what is happening in our country, and from an algorithm that started telling me to move to another country. So what do we do when we are hit with something out of our control? Whether it's within our own bodies, in the bodies of the people that we love and live with, or from the world itself, what do we do when we are forced to pivot away from what we planned? We because our energy or our attention can't function the way they were when we made that plan? That's what I want to consider today. Spoiler. I don't really have an answer for this. Not like a concrete formulaic one. But I do have some thoughts after that. For a little extra something, I'm going to share my favorite shows and movies that I watch when I'm down for the count. Whether it's emotional or physical, I have some like I go to comfort watches when I want to feel better. And even thinking about that list right now, like in a pretty equilibrium state makes me so happy. And I haven't even turned on the tv. As always, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week and then we will end with a mini pep talk for dealing with the weight of the world. Before we get into that, just a quick reminder that our digital store is closing. So we love our digital products, but it is time for them to retire. So if you would like to get your hands on the holiday docket which helps you plan the busiest time of year, the summer docket which helps you plan the weirdness that is summer the Swap, which is a lazy genius guide to decluttering, or the recipe ebook which has 25 of our forever favorite recipes. You can get all of those at a heavily discounted price of $9 each. Plus both dockets are not dated, so once they are downloaded on your computer, you can print them as many times over as many years as you would like. You can check those out through the link in the Show Notes, or you can go directly to the lazygeniuscollective.com store. All right, let's get to the episode how to Pivot Gracefully A Guide for the Sick, Tired and Overwhelmed Honestly, y', all, I don't even know where to begin today. Like I am. I am tired. I am on the tail end of a relatively fruitless work day because I couldn't focus. I'm gearing up to get my kids from school even though I am not ready for that, practically or emotionally. And I know that I'm gonna have to navigate crappy homework attitudes and overstimulated bodies and whining about what we're having for dinner. I've had to pivot a couple of errands because time did not go the way that I intended today, which impacts the tasks that were gonna come from those errands. Putting a Couple of things behind the honest truth is that I just wanna crawl into bed, not have anyone need me, not have anyone talk to me, not have anyone tell me anything sad or hard or that I have to weigh in on. I don't want to cook spaghetti or do fractions or read James and the Giant Peach out loud or move my body or put away the clean towels. And what's what's wild is that I'm also super grateful and content with my identity and my value right now. I have meaningful relationships that feed my soul. My family's basic needs of food and shelter and rest and belonging are met. I am privileged beyond measure on just about every metric, and yet I am deeply weary. It's a pervasive weariness that makes me move slower under function and power down now, not every day, but some days, and I don't always know when those days will come. And it's not just emotional weariness. You know, we get hit with all kinds of things that cause us to over function, under function or change course. A kid gets sick, a partner sprays, sprains an ankle, you get a migraine, a dear friend is having a mental health crisis, a co worker's parent dies and you're now covering for them. The possibilities are endless. Now if you need practical help when someone is sick, try episode 101, the lazy genius Deals with sickness. I talk about sick kits, which is like a basket or a box with all the essentials that your sick person might need. I talk about having essentials in more than one room so you're not, like, hustling to find the one box of tissues. I talk about deciding once and using the outdoors and saying, yes, it is a deeply practical episode, albeit a super old one. So if you want that kind of help, know that episode exists now for something that's a little less practical but nonetheless important. For me, I think that one of the hardest feelings to contend with when I have to pivot because of my own body or someone else's because of sickness or just emotional overwhelm or whatever, is that I feel like I am going to be behind the eight ball immediately. Like, I'm already running on fumes. And now we've got this, like, pile up happening that's going to keep me, you know, metaphorically stuck in traffic for longer than I would like. That feeling is enough to make you push through. At least it can me, especially years ago, before, you know, sufficient therapy and personal growth. It feels easier to just keep going, you know, to white knuckle it. As Andy Colbert, She's a therapist and author. She uses that phrase a lot. And that compulsion to stay on track even when our bodies are clearly telling us to slow down or that we're literally getting sick, when our minds are telling us to put down the phone, when our souls are telling us to, like, talk to a person we love or to go outside. The compulsion to ignore those cues and just power through that compulsion comes from, I think, two places. So the first is, I think it comes from our attempt to control our. Our own finitude and fallibility. Like, we are gonna die, y'. All. We're limited. We just are. The other night, the other night, I was at a gathering of. Of artists where we talk about the intersection of creativity and spirituality. And one of the guys in the group, like, humans are hilariously limited. But he said it with gratitude. It was kind of like he was saying, yeah, I can't do a lot of things, but that's fine. I'm not going to let that keep me from having fun and trying things and being creative. He was talking about a release of control. Since American culture does not do things like death or grief or nuance very well, even vulnerability, we're often only left with this expectation to control our vitality and our contributions and our excellence and even our lifespan. Nobody wants to die. Nobody wants to be small or less than or not good at something and yet being comfortable with how limited we are, how finite we are, it can be surprisingly life giving. It takes the pressure off of trying to control our lives and it allows us to just live them. So I think that's the first reason that we ignore the cues of our bodies. We're trying to control them more than listen to them. So really light, really light topic today, right? We're gonna take a quick. We're gonna, we're gonna get into the second reason why I think that we avoid our bodily cues. We're also gonna take an ad break, which makes this episode free for you to listen to. So we appreciate our sponsors for that. But reminder as we do every week that we send out this podcast recap email every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens. It summarizes the episode, it shares the lazy genius of the week. Some of the segments that we do has a little note from me. So if you would like to get that recap, you can head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens this fall. Your home deserves smarter scenting. Pura's sleek diffuser connects to your phone so you can swap between fragrances, set schedules, and create the perfect autumn mood with with just a tap. From cinnamon and crisp apple to rich, cozy woods, Pura makes every moment feel like fall. Upgrade your home today. Shop the fall collection now@pura.com.
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Kendra Adachi
All right, so one of the reasons why I think we give into the compulsion of holding on for dear life and forcing our way through a hard day or a hard season. It's because we think we have more control over our lives and our bodies than we do. The second reason that I think we do this is because of the cultural pressures of western productivity. And as we've talked about, many times, the heaviest weight of that tends to fall on women. It's not an exclusive weight, but it's typically ours. But regardless of who you are, we are expected to buck up and get her done. You know, we're challenged to stay vigilant in the face of things that are trying to throw us off track. And if we don't stay vigilant, if we get off track, then we're like, not smart enough or disciplined enough or capable enough to manage it. It's like our problem. It's our fault, and we need to get it together. We need to figure it out. You know, we take a double dose of, like, headache meds, we chug a Coke, and we get back to work. Or on a bigger scale, we try these hacks and take these courses and commit to 10 step programs because clearly we need this expert help in getting our lives together, keeping them optimized and excellent. Now, I do think we've gotten a lot better at noticing that push, especially as it comes to, like, all of the things we are doing. More and more people, especially women, are recognizing the silliness of trying to do everything perfectly or even decently, not without help or an equal load share with a partner, if there is one, or without intense prioritization. Most of you have learned both from this space and a few others that you don't have to do everything, and you definitely can't care about all of it equally, and you're getting more and more okay with that. But one of the places we still need to pay attention to the. The cultural pressures of Western productivity, it has to do with our bodies. There is a ton of content out there about our bodies that mostly about optimizing them and making them strong, and still in some places, if you're a woman, making them smaller. But y', all, we are so disconnected from our bodies. In the Plan, my book on compassionate time management, I talk about that disconnection a little bit. So I'm just gonna read a part of what I wrote in that book. So this is in the chapter entitled how to Notice. And there are three principles that I think help us notice our lives rather than just prepare for them. Those three principles are staying grounded is better than staying on task. Your body is wise and good is here right now. In fact, that whole chapter would be a really helpful companion to this episode. But here's just an excerpt from the section titled, your body is wise. For years, I did not listen to my body. I would go hard, hustling to get everything done, even the good things. And my body kept tapping me on the shoulder to tell me, in the form of fatigue, headaches, and shortness of breath, to slow down. I rarely listened, so my body had to get louder. Consequently, every few weeks, I felt like I had the flu. My head and stomach hurt. I was tired and achy, and I would usually need to poop and then crash for 12 hours. It was like clockwork. Very disturbing, annoying clockwork. At first I thought it was hormones, and it was to a point. I was moving at a constant pace with no variability, and my hormones are too variable to support that. We'll get into that in the next chapter. But really, my pace was the perpetrator. My body had quietly been telling me to slow down, at least occasionally. But I wouldn't listen. Instead, it had to get so loud, I had no choice. Your body is wise and will tell you what you need to know. It's part of how you notice what's working, what you need, and what matters. As licensed therapist Hilary McBride says in her book, the wisdom of your body, being fully connected to the body is about being fully alive. Okay, that's the end of that excerpt, and I want to share a little update with you from that. Y', all, I don't get sick like that anymore. Like, I no longer regularly feel like I have the flu. Do you know why? Because I have cultivated the skill of listening to my body and honoring whatever I'm being told. Now, I can already hear you that your job or your family or your circumstances don't allow you to just stop whatever you're doing and take a nap. Frankly, my life doesn't either. But it's not always about completely disengaging from life. Our bodies aren't always calling for that kind of extreme reaction. I mean, it might if you ignore the little things for long enough, but that's not usually how it starts. Have you ever been running at a fast pace for a lot of the day, and then you catch yourself, like, talking louder or faster or even, like, a little unkindly. When that happens, y', all, sometimes I feel my chest does this little thing where it, like. It, like, shimmers and catches. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like a signal that says, hey, girl, you are. You're a bit high strung right now. I need you to breathe and then lower and slow your voice. Everything is okay. And then I'll do that. Or sometimes I will feel the need to close my eyes for literally 30 seconds, like while I'm sitting in my car before I pull out of a parking spot or something. Sometimes my eyes need to close because they are tired or overstimulated, or it's just my body's way of reminding me to slow down for just a second. Now it took me a while to trust that those things were real and that they were worth it. Most of them seemed too small to even matter, but I knew I needed to try, so I tried to listen and respond to the small cues from my body. And the result is that I no longer feel like I have the flu and that I have to shut everything down completely in order to get back to equilibrium. Here's why I'm sharing this in an episode called how to Pivot Gracefully. Graceful pivots aren't necessarily these, like, dramatic right turns, like you're in a heist movie, running from the cops or something. Graceful pivots often happen slowly and in small increments. They're helping you stay grounded to where you are and who you are right now. It's things like deep breaths and kind smiles and questions instead of declarative statements. Graceful pivots require the body, and the body is wise. The body helps you start small because it operates in small ways already. Breath, heartbeats, steps that are limited to your own gait, like even your opposable thumbs. They are limited in how far they can help you reach for things. The body is wise, and it will help you start small so that you can gracefully pivot in whatever way is in front of you. Now there's another key element to gracefully pivoting, especially when plans are forced to change in a way that does feel a little like that dramatic right turn in a heist movie. Maybe. It's like the Sunday night before a big busy week, and you have your plan ready to go, right? You're like, everything is lined up. Then you are awakened on Monday morning by your kid who is unfortunately puking. Well, that certainly changes things. Suddenly you're trying to keep everyone else away from the puking kid. You're scrambling to call the person in your carpool whose kid you were supposed to pick up this morning, but you can't anymore because of the puking kid. You're remembering the work meeting that you were supposed to attend, and now you're like, oh man, can I join it virtually? Or should I even Go at all. Because, again, you have a puking kid. Because you're also monitoring the puking kid. Like, you're making sure that they stay hydrated, that they're not in danger, that they have what they need. You're holding their hair, whatever. And then you're, you know, you gotta go to the store for Saltines and Pedialyte. Like, everything happens in the shortest span of time. And that kind of pivot, it can be unkind to your brain. Survival mode is a bit desperate, and she can let you have it. So on top of all the logistical pivoting in the first hour of the puking kid, you're also feeling the stress of being behind that eight ball of not getting the things done you intended to. Life can change plans on the thinnest of dimes. Now, I want to speak into this energy with a thought that you might not like very much or you might not even believe to be true. And that's okay. I'm just asking it for you to, like, soften up a little and just hear me out. Very few things are as urgent or important as they feel. Very, very few. I know you want to push back on me, and I get it, and there's always an exception to the rule. But in general, very few things are as urgent or as important as they feel. I'm not saying they're not urgent or important at all. I'm just saying they're likely less urgent and important than they feel to you in that moment. I already mentioned the migraine I had the other day. So here's the context for. Helps illustrate this point a little bit. So I had planned my week in a pretty detailed way because I kind of had to. I had some weird meetings and, like, unusual things on the calendar that impacted my work days. Plus, I had extra work to do on top of making this actual episode, which was, you know, kind of stifling my usual work rhythms, like, all this extra stuff. So I usually write the episode on Tuesday and record it on Wednesday, but last week, my Tuesday and Wednesday were both full. So that meant the writing had to happen on Monday, and then recording had to happen on Thursday because we have things like ad deadlines and upload deadlines and, like, this is my job to turn things in on time. Well, I go to bed on Sunday with my plan, and then I wake up Monday morning to carpools, getting everyone off to school. You know, I'm go, go, go with my three kids and three schools and three start times. And then I finally get home, I get My cup of coffee. I log into a meeting with my team like I do every Monday morning. Well, about through that meeting, my head started hurting like. Like, bad. The pain got progressively worse at a pretty fast clip to the point that in the middle of the meeting, I was like, y', all, I'll be right back. I gotta. I gotta go take some medicine. Now. That was one of those smaller cues I was listening to right away because it sure felt like a migraine was growing. And those. Those are not a good time. So we ended the meeting, actually, before we were done talking about the things that we were talking about, because everyone else on the call knew that I was feeling and that nothing was urgent enough to push through that feeling. So I got off the meeting. I immediately went to lie down, y'. All. I was in bed for three hours. Like, I couldn't open my eyes. I could barely move. Everything hurt so bad. It was like one of the worst migraines I've ever had. It did fade to a mild headache midday, but by the time I felt like I could really function, it was. It was time to get Annie from school. I remember staring at my Monday to do list that had been, you know, meticulously planned. Every day was not just Monday, and very little was checked off, including writing what you're hearing right now. And that was, like, the most important thing that was the biggest half to. Of that Monday was to write this episode. And I stared at that list, and I was like, well, I mean, at least I've got good content for the sickness episode, because I'm pivoting, right? You know, often the advice in that moment is like, you just do the have to's. Just do the have to's. Well, the irony of this is that I already was, like, going into that week, I knew I couldn't do anything extra. Like, I already had essentialized my week into the most have to tasks. I didn't even write down any hope to's. The have to's were long enough. I had already chosen the easiest meals of all time for our family to have that week. I had already asked for help and let someone in. I asked my mom to go to the grocery store for me, and I asked a friend to take a couple of extra carpool routes that week. Like, I was so prepared with the essentials. But preparation means very little to a migraine. And guess what? You are listening to this episode. It got done. Even though the only day it could have gotten done was Monday, it didn't happen on Monday, and it still happened. In fact, I thought I would absolutely get this thing written on Wednesday morning because I would just have to. I would just have to adjust my. My Wednesday day to fit it in. And guess when I wrote the bulk of it late Wednesday night. I did write a little on Wednesday morning, but it wasn't landing. Like I wasn't inspired. Part of that was because I was so weary from the world and my body's reaction to the world. But here's my point. Even the most urgent things can wait for when your body or your kid's body or someone you love's body is down for the count, you things are rarely as important as they feel. The answer isn't clear cut, like ignore the important things, who cares? There's not a formula or set rule here, but I think the reminder really matters. When you believe that very few things are as urgent or as important as they feel to you in the moment, you do find just a hint of relaxation. Amidst that overwhelm. You sense the foundational contentment, the resistance to productivity, culture. You recognize that even though you're a finite, fallible human, you can also get a burst of creativity and energy at an unexpected time. Like I am right now. And writing this at 11:29pm, a time when I'm usually very much asleep now, will I feel it tomorrow morning? Probably. Maybe. I don't know. But I do know that my body has shown up for me tonight. My brain is focused, my body has energy, and the episode is getting made. It is not happening on the schedule I intended, but that's okay. Very few things are as urgent or as important as they feel. And many things can wait or be delegated or be done halfway again. You will have many exceptions to this, and that's fine. I just want to start with a posture of, you know what? This feels dire and like a really tough pivot to force. But it's gonna be okay. It's gonna work out. This is kind of dark, but I want you to think about experiences you've had personally, whether in your own life or the life of someone you know and love, Where a person gets like a sudden terrible diagnosis, or there's a car accident or a death or a lost job, something that came out of nowhere. A house fire, a school shooting. Horrible things happen to people every single day. People with plans and intentions and hopes for that day, and then the rug is pulled out from under them. And sometimes then it's set on fire. Those are intense examples, but in some ways they prove my point. The things we think are the most important, rarely are life stops for what really matters most. So if we take this back to a more like normalized type of overwhelm, you know, the news, your schedule, your hormones, a sick family member. You can start with the kind posture that very few things are as urgent or as important as they feel right now. That's an important component to pivoting gracefully. Remind yourself that when life stops, the most important things naturally rise to the surface. Pay attention to them, honor them, and the rest will happen when time and energy align again like they are for me at close to midnight on a school night. Which is not what I have chosen, but it's what I have. Let's pause again for a quick word from our episode sponsors. Thanks for helping us keep the show free to listen to.
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You know, all this reminds me of an episode from a while back called how to Pivot around Any Obstacle. That episode was geared a little more towards smaller things like literal spilled milk, you know, and how to pivot. Like when you're upset that somebody messed up your plan. There were some clear steps that I laid out in that episode, and I'm going to remind us of those steps today. I've referenced a couple of them a little bit already, so let's just go all the way in. So the first step of pivoting around any obstacle is to breathe. I will die on this hill. All while taking deep breaths, y'. All. Breathing is critical for me. It's critical for you. It's critical for your body to tell you to slow down and pay attention to what really matters. So step one is breathe. Step two Actively seek softness. When you are tight and hard and trying to be in control, trying to be right or justified in a situation, it's really hard to move forward in a graceful way. So actively seek softness within yourself. Make it a priority. The breathing will help with that, too. Remember the relationship. Remember the dignity of the other person. Remember to honor your own body. Actively seek softness towards yourself, towards others, and towards the situation. Step three is to name what matters right now, at this moment. What matters most? When you're sick, tired, or overwhelmed and have to gracefully pivot, name what matters to you so you know where to pivot toward. Step four is to make the problem smaller. This is a version of remembering that not everything is as urgent or as important as you think. You might feel so behind, like you're facing 10 giant problems at once when something puts life on a longer pause. But rather than tackle the whole giant at once, make the problem smaller. It's like that weird saying about eating an elephant. You eat it one bite at a time. It's gross, but you know it's accurate. So when you need to pivot first, breathe. Actively seek softness, name what matters, and then make the problem smaller. When I was down with a migraine, I didn't think about how to pivot regarding every single missed tasks on my to do list for the day. Honestly, my problem at the moment was making the migraine Go away as quickly as possible. The other stuff was not urgent at all. So I took my meds, I got my eye massage mask. I laid in a dark room. I didn't pressure myself to get up after 17 minutes or whatever like I do in my naps. I let my body decide how long it needed to rest before it got well again. Now, if it had gone longer and gotten worse, then that would have been a different problem to solve, right? But at the time, the problem was just to tend to my migraine without guilt or worry. The pain was bad enough to pile on guilt and worry. So step four is to make the problem smaller. Then step five is to put what you need in its place. Lean on the word need. What is essential in your graceful pivot? The most basic thing you can think of that needs attention. Maybe it's food, maybe it's medical care. Maybe it's getting a kid from school since you can't make it over there because of the puking kid at home or whatever. Put what you really, really need in place and leave the rest for when your brain can hold a little bit more. Step six in pivoting around any obstacle is to stay connected to yourself. Listen to your body. Stay human. Watch the pace of your inner life. She gets a little crazy town. Slow her down. Go back to step one and breathe a little bit. And the final step is to ask the magic question, what can I do now to make something easier later? If you're super worried about a fairly urgent thing that can wait for now but not for long, do a small thing to make that urgent thing easier later. One of the things I did when my week got displaced because of the migraine was to wait an extra day before washing my hair. I know that's weird, but it gave me an extra hour on a day I needed it to let my schedule breathe a little bit. Because when I did my weekly plan the weekend before, like, I literally thought through when I was going to wash my hair because of how much longer it takes and which mornings that would fit in the most. And even though that was a wise choice at the time to to do that so I didn't have to think through it later, I still had to change it. I had dirty hair for longer so that I could have a little extra time on a day that I needed it, that was my answer to the magic question, Wash your hair on Thursday. So a quick recap of those seven steps to pivoting around any obstacle. Breathe actively. Seek softness. Name what matters. Make the problem smaller. Put what you need in its place. Stay connected to yourself and ask the magic question. And as far as this whole world and your finite life are concerned, I want you to remember two main things. Your body is wise, and you should listen to her. And very few things are as urgent or as important as they feel. You will absolutely have days where the rug is pulled out from under you. Those days might extend to weeks and even months, and you just don't know how you're going to do it. If you want to pivot gracefully when you're sick, tired, or overwhelmed, remember you are not a robot. Remember that you can live by a different set of values than what a lot of western productivity culture espouses. Remember that your body is wise and people matter more than productivity does. And dinner can be cereal for as long as it needs to be without an ounce of guilt. Be kind to yourselves, my friends. Be soft, start small, and be kind. And that's how to pivot gracefully. All right, today's a little extra something is light and fun. It is my list of comfort watches when I am down for the count. These are the shows and movies that I go to when I'm sick, when I'm tired, and when I am overwhelmed. They are my comfort blanket. And I think it's always fun to learn this about people. So here's mine, in no particular order. The first is Fleabag Season 2. I will watch that thing over and over again. I get a new level of enjoyment every single time. It is possibly one of the most perfect six episodes of television ever written. Don't worry about season one. It doesn't matter. Season two is all you need. Season two is all you need. Next is Stranger Things. Season one is a banger and a really great time when I want to just, like, enjoy the origin story of, I think, my favorite show ever. I am re watching it now to get ready for the final season's release in a couple of months. I. Y', all. I would give Steve Harrington a kidney. He's like. He's like Adam the. You remember the oldest brother from parenthood, that emotionally manipulative show. You wanted Adam. It was like, I wanted to marry Adam. I wanted to be Adam's sister. I also wanted to be Adam's daughter. I wanted to maybe be his mom. I don't know. It was like, such a weird vibe to love someone who is pretend on all of those different levels at once. And I. I feel that way about Steve. Next is Lost, season one. I mean, do I even need to explain this, like, absolutely perfect television I only have to watch the pilot, and I'm sad. Like, some days, if I'm, like, feeling really down, I will literally watch the pilot of Lost and feel better. So good. I also really love watching Sherlock when I'm feeling bummed and not feeling like myself. Mysteries make me happy, Buddy stories make me happy, and Benedict Cumberbatch makes me happy. So that show will always be a favorite, will always be a go to. The final TV show that I go to is Brooklyn Nine Nine. Now, listen, you can put me in front of, like, any of the major comedies of the 2000s that I'm in. The office, parks, 30 Rock, new girl. There is something about Brooklyn right now that makes me feel like I'm drinking chicken soup. Like, super hilarious chicken soup, but still chicken soup. Maybe it's because of the relationships. Maybe it's because I love Andy Samberg so much, like, with my whole actual heart. I don't know. But Brooklyn 99 is a winner every time. Some go to movies when I need, like, a little small retreat, you know, And I. I'm not gonna, you know, tv binge something. Our Sense of Sensibility, which is my favorite movie of all time. It's an Oscar winner. Perfect in every way. Emma Thompson and baby Kate Winslet and tan Alan Rickman, which is, like, almost looks like a different person compared to how he looked when he was playing Snape. Awkward Hugh Grant. Knowing that Emma Thompson met her now husband, Greg Wise on that film is all too much. The music, the scenery, the scene at the end when Margaret says he's kneeling down. I cry every single time. I might cry right now. Like, it never fails to make me feel better. Oh, so good. I mentioned I love a heist movie. I love a spy movie. I love, like, anything that's high stakes. So I do love the Bourne movies. I love watching those when I'm not feeling well. Same goes for 13 hours. Inception all Day, man. And then one more to it. This is not an exhaustive list, but it is deeply accurate. This is my answer to the question, what movie? When it's on tv. Which is also kind of funny to ask, what movie when it's on tv, do you just, like, have to stop and watch the whole thing, y'? All. My answer to that is World War Z. If World War Z is on TV at any point in the entire movie, it doesn't matter. I am now gracefully pivoting to my couch to finish the movie. Like, I can't not finish it. I adore that movie. Weirdly, it's not My favorite movie ever. I'm not even sure if it's in my top 10, but it's like a drug. Like I get sucked in immediately and I want to see the end. I love it. I love it so much. So those are the things that I watch when I am feeling sick, tired or overwhelmed and they immediately, immediately make me feel better. That's our little extra something. All right, let's celebrate the Lazy Genius of the week. This week it is Haley from Lexington, Kentucky. Haley writes, I often do Epsom salt baths for my magnesium deficient neurospicy family, myself very much included. I was becoming annoyed with the packaging of the large bag bags of salt, storing those bags and precious under the sink space and using a kitchen measuring cup to dose it out. I was wandering Target and found in the pet aisle a cheap lidded pet food container with a sealed lid and a measuring cup included that slots into the lid of the container. The container is also tall and slim and fits perfectly between my toilet and the bathtub in my small bathroom. And it's completely hidden by the shower curtain most of the time. Very niche, but a total game changer. I love ideas where you take something meant for one thing and then turn it into a solution for a different thing. Like having your eyes open for something that solves the priority of the problem. Like Haley and the ease of accessing the salt and not just like the entire problem of like, what do I do with the salt? It allows for wisdom and creativity and, you know, not being dependent on finding a container specifically for Epsom salts or whatever it is you're trying to solve. And so be patient, know what matters to you, and solutions will show up in unusual places. I love it. Thanks for sharing, Haley, and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the week. As we close, here is a mini pep talk for dealing with the weight of the world. I've had more days than not wishing that I could just escape the weight of all the sadness and fear and worry and harm and has simply been too much. And yet, like my friend Shannon Martin encourages us to do, we embrace counterweights. We balance out that heaviness and weariness from the world with things to counterbalance it within ourselves. We don't remove it. We don't ignore it. We balance it out. So for every news, podcast episode I listen to, I need like 15 songs that fill my soul. For every Instagram reel that makes me feel things I didn't plan on feeling right now. I walk around the block. For every worry about a kid somewhere else. I sit with my own kid and I love on them, knowing that that is mine to do right now. I read books about circuses and I thrift oil paintings and I refill my hummingbird feeder and I drink full fat oat milk because it tastes better and I love it. Also, where does the fat and oats even come from? Please don't answer that. It's rhetorical. But it's weird. The weight of the world is too heavy for one person to bear. It's probably too heavy for the entire world to bear together. And when we're not wanting to bear the same things, it can get squirrely and heavy and hard to stay in. That's why Shannon's reminder of counterweights is essential. Not just to deal with the weight of the world on our own shoulders, but in continuing to have the margin and the stamina. Stamina and the compassion to make that world a better place for everybody. Watching birds and planting flowers and waving hi to your neighbor and buying the jumbo blueberries and putting your coffee in the prettiest mug you have. Those are not too small. Nothing is ever too small against the weight of the world. If the idea of counterweights is resonant to you, I want you to check out Shannon Martin's new book. It doesn't come out for like six months, which I think is stupid because I want to write now, but we can wait. This is a concept that we all need so desperately right now, so in the meantime you can follow her on Instagram at Shannon Martin that's Shannon with two A's. There's no O in her Shannon. You can pre order her book Counterweights wherever you like to buy books. I want to buy like a thousand copies and just hand them out like pamphlet. You will be so glad to see that book land in your mailbox come March. It'll be the best surprise. So when the weight of the world hits, listen to your body, be wise about the actual urgency of things, and find a counterweight. And that's a mini pep talk on dealing with the weight of the world. This podcast is part of the Odyssey Family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly Production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to thelazygeniuscollective.com listens to get it Thanks, y', all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week.
Nancy Cartwright
Hi, I'm Nancy Cartwright. You may know me better. As the voice of Bart Simpson on Simpsons Declassified, we're diving into the mysteries that keep the the Simpsons forever young. Have you ever wondered how the Simpsons regularly predicts future events? Who better to ask than the show's creators, performers and writers, the celebrity guests? Be sure to follow and listen to Simpsons declassified wherever you get your podcasts.
Episode #436 – How to Pivot Gracefully: A Guide for the Sick, Tired, and Overwhelmed
Host: Kendra Adachi (“The Lazy Genius”)
Release Date: September 22, 2025
In this episode, Kendra Adachi explores how to “pivot gracefully” when life doesn’t go as planned—especially if you’re unwell, exhausted, or emotionally overwhelmed. Drawing on personal experience, especially a recent bout with a migraine and the emotional aftermath of distressing news, Kendra unpacks the emotional and practical components of adjusting to disrupted plans. She emphasizes compassionate, small strategies over productivity “hacks,” and offers comforting permission to listen to your body, focus on what matters, and let go of unnecessary urgency. The episode closes with a mini pep talk about balancing the heaviness of the world with “counterweights” of small joys.
Kendra planned this episode to address “dealing with sickness,” but a migraine forced her to change plans, offering fresh real-life perspective on the topic.
She notes how quickly a day can unravel: “I've had to pivot a couple of errands because time did not go the way I intended today, which impacts the tasks that were gonna come from those errands.” (05:10)
She describes profound weariness—physical, emotional, and existential—even while feeling gratitude for her life: “The honest truth is that I just wanna crawl into bed, not have anyone need me…And what's wild is that I'm also super grateful and content with my identity and my value right now.” (06:20)
Two main reasons:
Our attempt to control our limitations:
“We are gonna die, y'all. We're limited. We just are.” (09:00)
We push through exhaustion or difficulty, fighting vulnerability and limitation rather than accepting them with compassion.
Cultural pressure for productivity:
“Regardless of who you are, we are expected to buck up and get her done. If we don't stay vigilant…it's our fault and we need to get it together.” (13:19)
The weight of productivity culture is particularly heavy for women.
Kendra cites her own experience ignoring her body’s “small” cues (fatigue, headaches) until she routinely crashed:
“For years, I did not listen to my body…my body had quietly been telling me to slow down, but I wouldn't listen. Instead, it had to get so loud, I had no choice.” (15:32)
The solution was gradual:
“It took me a while to trust that those things were real and that they were worth it. Most of them seemed too small to even matter, but I knew I needed to try, so I tried to listen and respond to the small cues from my body.” (18:50)
The body is “wise.” Graceful pivots often happen as a series of tiny adjustments, not huge right turns:
“Graceful pivots require the body, and the body is wise…The body helps you start small because it operates in small ways already.” (19:56)
When the unexpected hijacks your plans (like a sick child or a migraine), it’s easy to feel panicked and behind. Kendra offers the core thought:
“Very few things are as urgent or important as they feel.” (24:08)
Even carefully essentialized schedules must make room for disruption.
“Preparation means very little to a migraine. And guess what? You are listening to this episode. It got done…Even the most urgent things can wait for when your body or your kid's body is down for the count.” (26:40)
(based on her previous episode, “How to Pivot Around Any Obstacle”)
(31:19)
Recap Quote:
“So—breathe, actively seek softness, name what matters, make the problem smaller, put what you need in its place, stay connected to yourself, and ask the magic question.” (35:41)
On accepting limitation:
“Being comfortable with how limited we are, how finite we are, it can be surprisingly life giving. It takes the pressure off of trying to control our lives and it allows us to just live them.” (09:40)
On preparing but still having to pivot:
“Preparation means very little to a migraine.” (26:13)
On what really matters:
“When life stops, the most important things naturally rise to the surface. Pay attention to them, honor them, and the rest will happen when time and energy align again.” (28:56)
Permission to do less:
“Be kind to yourselves, my friends. Be soft, start small, and be kind. And that's how to pivot gracefully.” (37:37)
When she feels sick, tired, or overwhelmed, Kendra turns to these shows and movies as “comfort watches”:
Haley repurposed a pet food container to store Epsom salts for her family’s baths, solving storage and accessibility problems—a prime Lazy Genius move.
“I love ideas where you take something meant for one thing and then turn it into a solution for a different thing.” (44:57)
Kendra references Shannon Martin’s idea of “counterweights”:
“We embrace counterweights. We balance out that heaviness and weariness from the world with things to counterbalance it within ourselves. We don’t remove it. We don’t ignore it. We balance it out.” (45:43)
On the importance of small joys:
“Watching birds and planting flowers and waving hi to your neighbor and buying the jumbo blueberries…nothing is ever too small against the weight of the world.” (46:37)
Final encouragement:
“When the weight of the world hits, listen to your body, be wise about the actual urgency of things, and find a counterweight.” (47:06)
Warm, humorous, confessional, and encouraging—Kendra uses candid storytelling and empathetic advice to create an atmosphere of permission and community. She balances lightness (e.g., comfort show confessions) and depth (acknowledging pain and weariness), always with grace and an accessible, down-to-earth style.
Key takeaways:
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Summary prepared by podcast summarizer AI. For more, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t.