The Lazy Genius Podcast
Episode #437 – 10 Things I Always Do When I Have People Over
Host: Kendra Adachi (The Lazy Genius)
Date: September 29, 2025
Overview
In this heartfelt and practical episode, Kendra Adachi—aka The Lazy Genius—dives into the spirit of hospitality by sharing her personal list of "10 Things I Always Do When I Have People Over." While she acknowledges her deep love for hosting, Kendra invites everyone, no matter their level of enthusiasm or comfort with hospitality, to discover their own values and approaches. With a signature blend of warmth, humor, and wisdom, Kendra breaks down her personal hospitality philosophy, offers actionable tips, and encourages listeners to connect with others in ways that feel true to themselves. The episode concludes with her favorite go-to hosting recipes, an inspiring “Lazy Genius of the Week” spotlight, and a compassionate mini pep talk for anyone feeling lonely.
Defining Hospitality: Values & Philosophy
[03:10–10:20]
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Kendra frames hospitality by the dictionary’s definition: “The friendly, generous, and welcoming treatment of guests, visitors, or strangers.”
- She highlights the importance of being friendly (making people feel seen), generous (giving from what you have), and welcoming (eagerly opening your door).
- Hospitality "isn't confined to your kitchen table—it's a way of being in the world," whether at work, in your car, or waiting in the pickup line.
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Kendra’s five guiding hospitality words:
- Warm: Guests feel like they belong, not like they're in the way.
- Relaxed: Everyone, including the host, feels at ease.
- Confident: The host acts as a steady, welcoming guide.
- Thoughtful: Details are considered to help guests feel seen and cared for.
- Safe: No one needs to perform or feel judged; everyone can be themselves.
“What you believe determines what you do. What you value determines what you choose... Naming what matters is so important.” [06:00, Kendra]
The 10 Things Kendra Always Does When Hosting
[11:21–27:10]
1. Always Have Yummy Food
- Doesn’t have to be homemade. Kendra would “much rather be present with takeout than frazzled with something homemade.”
- Research backs the positive impact of sharing meals: “People who eat socially feel better about themselves and have a stronger social network...” [12:10]
2. Always Have a Hosting Buddy
- A friend (or spouse) who shares her hospitality values and isn’t afraid to jump in (“...someone who doesn’t feel weird, like, bumping around in my cabinets and drawers…”) [13:45]
- Invites a hosting buddy when new guests are coming over, making everyone feel more connected.
3. Save a Task for Introverts or Helpers
- Leaves simple tasks (filling water pitchers, plating food) for guests who want to help or escape small talk.
- “Someone will always either offer to help or look like they really need something to do with their hands...” [14:44]
4. Have Something Guests Can Immediately Help Themselves To
- Think appetizers, bread, drinks, or tasting spoons.
- “Some cheese on the counter is water in the desert, man.” [15:30]
5. Always Play Music
- Music helps smooth over silences and sets a relaxed vibe. Kendra starts the music a half hour before guests arrive:
- “Pauses and awkwardness…they happen…But music, it fills in the gaps in a way that’s just too easy to ignore now.” [16:40]
- Recommends breezy instrumental or “oldies” playlists to cultivate warmth and nostalgia.
6. Always Clean the Bathroom
- Imperfection is okay, but “having a clean bathroom...contributes to my priority of being thoughtful.” [18:15]
- Practical touches: visible toilet paper, air freshener, and even a lit candle. “We all poop, and we all poop in multiple places…but there is an insecurity for a lot of us when we have to poop at someone else’s house...” [18:50]
7. Have a Conversation Starter or 'Magical' Question Ready
- Inspired by Priya Parker’s “magical questions” (from The Art of Gathering)—questions that everyone wants to answer and hear others respond to.
- Examples: “What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager?” “What was a path you almost took but didn’t?” [20:38]
8. Listen for Relational Connections
- Kendra keeps a “mental file folder” on people, listening for overlapping interests or histories to help guests connect (“...I actively remember things about them...and I enjoy that remembering.”) [22:40]
9. Keep at Least One Thing Low Key or Childlike
- Could be simple food (boxed brownies, grilled cheese, popsicles), nostalgic music, or classic desserts.
- “Having something that’s just so beautifully low key that taps into a little nostalgia and like, childlike wonder is such an easy but thoughtful way to create warmth...” [24:08]
10. Go First or Go With
- Kendra models behavior for her guests: takes food first, makes herself a cocktail, sits down with everyone, etc. - “It’s easier for new friends and nervous guests to feel more relaxed if they’re following my lead...” [25:40]
Recap of Top Five Hospitality Values and the Ten Actions:
“To support those, I always have yummy food...hosting buddy...save a task...have something out...play music...clean the bathroom...have a question...listen for connections...keep something childlike...go first or go with.” [26:35]
Kendra's Favorite Go-To Hosting Recipes
[28:14–30:54]
Kendra shares her favorite “decide once” meals that minimize stress and create memorable gatherings:
- Homemade Pizza: Versatile, nostalgic, and interactive.
- Chicken Shawarma: Served with rice, naan, tzatziki, hummus, and customizable toppings.
Recipe linked in show notes and podcast recap. - Asian Rice Bowls: Rice base, ground beef (or tofu), and a “choose your adventure” topping bar (cabbage salad, pickled onions, sauces, roasted veggies).
- Burgers & Hot Dogs: Classic, easy to adapt for guests’ preferences (even vegan options), plus everyone loves a cookout.
- Dessert: Always includes boxed brownies (amped up with espresso powder, vanilla, chocolate chunks), ice cream, or a big slab of cake.
Hot Tip: "I always have takeout containers that I don't need back...sending people home with food or taking food to their home in containers that they do not have to return to you is one of the greatest kindnesses of all time." [28:45]
Lazy Genius of the Week: Andrea Gregory
[30:55–33:16]
Andrea creates monthly “Second Saturday Sundaes” in her rural cul-de-sac as a way to intentionally build community with neighbors.
“This is a great example of how you don’t have to gather in your home around a table or for dinner. Ice cream sundaes on the street all day, man. Let’s do it.” [32:55, Kendra]
Mini Pep Talk: If You’re Feeling Lonely
[33:17–36:57]
Kendra closes the episode with heartfelt encouragement for listeners struggling with loneliness:
- You're not alone—so many people are lonely and want connection.
- Suggestions for building new connections: community classes, volunteering, book clubs, befriending neighbors, saying “hi” to familiar faces, and more.
- The process can be slow, but even “every single class you go to without making a friend matters because it grows your muscles to try.” [35:35]
“If you are lonely, I’m so sorry, it’s so hard. And also keep going, stay hopeful, look out, say hi, go first, start small, and be kind to yourself while you wait.” [36:38]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On choosing your own values:
“What you value determines what you choose...naming what matters is so important.” [06:00, Kendra]
-
On presence over perfection:
“I would so much rather be present with takeout than frazzled with something homemade.” [12:15, Kendra]
-
On simple food:
“Some cheese on the counter is water in the desert, man.” [15:30, Kendra]
-
On the importance of music:
“Music is the best. Music is the best. Music is the best.” [17:55, Kendra]
-
Acknowledging awkwardness:
“We all poop, and we all poop in multiple places, but there is an insecurity for a lot of us when we have to poop at someone else’s house...” [18:50, Kendra]
-
Sharing community:
“Ice cream sundaes on the street all day, man. Let’s do it.” [32:55, Kendra]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 03:10 – Kendra’s Hospitality Philosophy & Values
- 11:21 – "10 Things I Always Do" List Begins
- 12:10 – Importance of Yummy Food
- 13:45 – Having a Hosting Buddy
- 14:44 – Saving a Task for Helpers
- 15:30 – Appetizers/Help-Yourself Stations
- 16:40 – Playing Music
- 18:15 – Bathroom Cleanliness & Details
- 20:38 – Magical Conversation Starters
- 22:40 – Creating Relational Connections
- 24:08 – Low Key/Nostalgic Elements
- 25:40 – Going First/Going With Guests
- 28:14 – Favorite Hosting Recipes
- 30:55 – Lazy Genius of the Week
- 33:17 – Pep Talk for the Lonely
Final Takeaways
Kendra’s approach to hospitality centers on being present, valuing connection over perfection, and customizing traditions to fit your own context and values. Whether you “go all out” or keep things simple, the small, thoughtful actions are what build warmth and community. And if you’re struggling with loneliness, you’re encouraged to start small, go first, and remember you’re not alone.
For more details and recipe links, subscribe to the Lazy Genius “Latest Lazy Listens” recap at thelazygeniuscollective.com