The Lazy Genius Podcast - Episode 451: Permission to Not Be Great
Host: Kendra Adachi (“The Lazy Genius”)
Date: January 5, 2026

Overview

In this heartfelt and honest episode, Kendra Adachi gives listeners timely and "practical permission to not be great," especially as a new year begins. She challenges the cultural pressure to chase optimization and mastery in every area of life and instead invites her community to embrace contentment, integration, and smallness. Through personal anecdotes, readings from her book, and relatable examples, Kendra reassures her audience that being “mid” (average) in most things is not only okay—it’s freeing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rejecting the Pursuit of Constant Greatness

• Cultural Obsession with Greatness
  Kendra points out how the start of a new year intensifies societal messages about goals, self-improvement, and achievement. She acknowledges the appeal of setting goals but emphasizes the importance of kindness and contentment over relentless optimization.
  Quote:
  "That's why we're so tired all the time, because we're trying to do everything as fast as possible." (09:27)

• Integration Over Greatness
  Reading from Chapter 2 of her book The Plan, Kendra argues that integration—connecting all parts of ourselves with compassion—is a more sustainable and humane aim than external greatness.
  Quote:
  "The goal is not greatness. The goal is integration." (15:04)

2. Two Beliefs That Change Everything (15:04-32:20)

• Belief 1: The Goal is Not Greatness

  • Kendra contrasts the pressure to achieve mastery, hustle, and “crush” your goals with holistic integration and “wholehearted living.”
  • She draws on Brene Brown’s lists of things to let go (like perfectionism and comparison) and Andy Kolber’s affirmations about self-compassion and gentle progress.
  • Physical embodiment of integration: listeners are encouraged to notice the relaxation and relief that comes from letting go of exhausting standards.
  • She humorously undermines rigid “productivity industrial complex” advice, especially as it applies differently (and often unrealistically) to women.
    Quote:
    "You’re not a robot. You’re not a machine to program. You’re a flesh and blood person with a beautiful, slightly unruly life who just wants to get your stuff done, have fun, not yell at your people too much, and occasionally feel bone deep contentment." (22:20)

• Belief 2: Start Where You Are

  • Critiques typical future-focused time management, urging listeners to first attend to their actual present realities and capacities:
    "There is no tool complex enough to hold the intricacies and daily variability of a woman's life." (26:24)
  • True, sustainable change starts from honest self-acceptance and taking small steps—envisioning your desired future is helpful, but not as an initial step if you’re already overwhelmed.

3. Embracing “Being Mid”: What Kendra’s Not Being Great At (32:20-40:50)

Kendra models her message by sharing three areas she’s intentionally choosing not to excel in right now:

• Intentional, Creative Time with Kids
  "I'm not trying to be great at intentional, creative, individual time with my kids... I'm releasing the pressure to do it a certain way and it feels really good to let that go." (34:00)
• Home Decor and Updates
  "The way my house looks right now is almost certainly how it's going to look this time next year. Like, I'm content with how things are." (35:58)
• Regular, Trackable Movement
  "Mid is fine. I lift weights regularly, but never the same way twice… I’m just letting my body lead how I move, not a schedule. I don’t need to be great at that kind of management." (36:54)
• She highlights how releasing the pressure to be great lets you redirect energy to what actually matters for your season.

4. Permission Not to Chase Cultural Definitions of Success (40:50-44:25)

• Kendra acknowledges outside pressures, including cultural messages and even faith-based perspectives that sometimes value smallness and presence over greatness.
• She reminds listeners:
  "You don't have to be the best or be impressive or have big dreams or always be chasing something that you can mark in a journal. You can, but you don't have to." (43:09)

5. Lazy Genius "Word of the Month": NO (45:10-49:50)

• For January, Kendra proposes “NO” as a guiding word, encouraging listeners to say no to things that don't matter as much, to avoid overcommitting, and to resist the cultural urge to hustle or overhaul everything.
• Practicing intentional "nos" protects space for wholehearted “yeses” to what truly matters.
  Quote:
  "Every wholehearted yes has to come with a confident no." (47:12)

6. Lazy Genius of the Week: Cheryl Webster (49:51-51:15)

• Cheryl, from Seattle, honors her need for margin by scheduling a recurring "Stay Home" night on her calendar—a simple but powerful way to say no to overdoing and yes to rest.
• Kendra calls this tip "a fantastic example of a thoughtful, helpful no."
  Quote:
  "The simplicity and effectiveness of this is just the best thing.” (50:20)

7. Mini Pep Talk: When You Wish You Were Different (51:16-54:49)

• Kendra discusses coping with life changes or disappointments that can’t be undone (growing older, lost seasons, chronic illness, distance from loved ones).
• She advocates for grieving honestly rather than avoiding discomfort:
  "If you are feeling like you wish things were different and they technically cannot be, don't avoid the feeling... The only way around is through." (53:07)
• Encouragement to seek support, journaling, therapy, or prayer—reminding listeners that contentment often follows honest processing rather than forced self-improvement.

Notable Quotes

• On letting go of needing to be great:
  "You can be mid at most things, and it's okay." (39:14)

• On integration vs. greatness:
  "If your goal is greatness, if that's the most important thing, you're going in the wrong order. At least for the kind of life I think you want to live. The goal is not greatness. The goal is integration." (21:08)

• On the power of saying no:
  "Practice saying no so you can say yes to what matters, and we'll see how this goes." (48:32)

• On being your whole, ordinary self:
  "Be normal, be ordinary, be messy, be great at something you love and mid at everything else. That's how we live lives that matter." (44:12)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction & Purpose – 03:41
• Two Beliefs That Change Everything (Book Reading) – 15:04
• Personal Examples: What Kendra is Choosing Not to Be Great At – 32:20
• Reflections on Cultural Messages & Permission – 40:50
• Lazy Genius Word of the Month: No – 45:10
• Lazy Genius of the Week: Cheryl Webster – 49:51
• Mini Pep Talk: When You Wish You Were Different – 51:16

Tone & Style

Kendra’s tone is warm, compassionate, direct, and gently humorous. She reassures listeners with permission, practical illustrations, and plenty of grace for being imperfect. The episode balances encouragement and realism, offering listeners both affirmation and a gentle challenge to adopt kinder, less pressured rhythms for the new year.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is an antidote for anyone overwhelmed by January’s self-improvement hype. Kendra offers two life-giving beliefs (integration over greatness, starting where you are), shares her own not-so-great areas to encourage margin, and suggests the word “No” as a liberating theme for the month. Listeners walk away with concrete permission and inspiration to resist striving and instead build a life of intentional, compassionate presence—even, or especially, if it means not being great in every area.

“Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t.”