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Hey there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I am Kendra Adachi. This podcast is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently on this show. We value contentment, compassion, and living. In our season, we favor small steps over big systems. Here we are, lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 461, the overlooked secret to loving your home. A few weeks ago, I followed my boys into the house. Like as they were walking into the house and one of them said, man, I love home. And the other said, me too. Home is pretty great. And I tried to play it cool and thankfully did not cry because that would have embarrassed them so much. But I was so grateful to hear them say those words and it got me thinking. Why do they love home? Why do any of us love being home? I was able to identify a couple of things that surprised me, and I'm excited to share those thoughts with you today. After we talk about loving our home, we will have a little extra something that helps us love where we live on a larger scale. We're going to talk about how to actually call your representatives and share your thoughts. This was requested as an episode topic, but it felt like just the right size to put. Here is a little extra something. We hear this often as citizens of the U.S. call your reps, call your reps. And yet so many people don't because of all the unknowns. You know, who do you talk to? What do you say? Is the person on the other line gonna like, get angry at you if you disagree with them? How often should you call? Does it actually work? I wanna demystify calling your reps. It's a core part of our democracy that we the people have a voice. So if you would like to do that but have been held back for whatever reason, maybe today's rundown of just the basics of that will help make it easier to do. After that, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week who shares an incredibly easy but super fun tip on making home a place that she loves. And then we'll close with a mini pep talk for when everything feels too heavy. And in today's pep talk, you will hear my voice as well as someone else's, which is always fun. Before we get into all that, two quick things. Number one, our next latest lazy letter goes out a week from this Wednesday on April 1st. Also, is it just me or does anyone else think that there are just 30 days in March? I mean, I know March has 31 days, but doesn't it feel like it should have 30 days? It's fine. Next week, on Wednesday, April 1, not April 2, I will send out the monthly newsletter with all kinds of personal essays for me, my favorite book of the month, as well as a new segment we're calling the Reply all, where I answer your questions from the previous month's Soup newsletter. I almost called it a Soup letter. That would be actually pretty great. It's kind of like. Like an ama. Like an Ask me anything in the newsletter. And it's We've only done it one month, but it's been really fun. So if you would like to get that newsletter and have not before, you can give it a try. I don't know what I'm gonna write about yet because the words are always driven by what my life looks like on the day I write it, which will be next Tuesday. Based on how 2026 has gone so far, there is no actual telling what we will get, but it is always a good time. The newsletter is pound for pound the most impactful and maybe even successful thing that we do. The people who get it open it, they read it and they stick around. Like our unsubscribe rate is super low and our open rate is super high, well above the national average. Those are like data driven ways to say people like this newsletter and they like reading it and they stick around and want to read more. And you might too. You might too. You can sign up for it@the lazygeniuscollective.com join uh, and if you do that before next Wednesday, you'll get the latest one that goes out on next Wednesday. One more quick thing. We are about to talk about loving your home and I would be remiss if I did not talk about my favorite person to speak about the home, especially decorating your home, which is a little less of what we're gonna talk about today. I need to tell you about Michael Lynn Smith, AKA the Nestor. Virtually everything I know about decorating a home is from her and she is a resource you will absolutely love. If you do not know her already, I'm going to suggest her book, house rules. It's 100 rules for your home that actually make it feel more like itself. Mike Woolen is super empowering, cares about the right stuff, and makes a beautifully imperfect home feel accessible in a way that no other home influencer, author, whatever, ever has for me. So I would encourage you to grab House Rules by Michael Lynn Smith if you want some practical help on decorating your home, if that is part of eventually loving your home like we're gonna talk about today. All right, before we get into the overlooked secret to loving your home, here's your quick reminder about the podcast recap email that we send out every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens and it summarizes the episode, shares the lazy genius of the week as well as other segments we have on the show. And it has a little extra note to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you'd like to get that recap, you can head to the lazygeniuscollective.com listens. Okay, now let's hear from our episode sponsors who make this show free for you to listen to, which is super rad. And then on the other side we'll get back to the overlooked secret of loving your home. This episode is sponsored by Good Ranchers. So I was sick last week. Like horizontal on the couch sick, not cooking dinner. And at one point Kaz was like, hey, box of meat just showed up on our doorstep. Which is not a sentence you hear every day. It was our first Good Ranchers delivery and the timing could not have been better. We pulled out the chicken nuggets that night. The kids cooked them and ate them. It was delicious. Plus now I have steak to throw on the grill for a quick dinner that everyone loves because we all love steak. What I love about Good Ranchers is the heart behind it. They source 100 of their meat from American farms and ranches and everything from packaging to fulfillment. Even customer service happens right here in the US I love feeding my family well and supporting other families at the same time. Visit goodranchers.com today if you subscribe to any of their boxes, you'll save up to $500 a year. Plus, if you use my code GENIUS, you'll get an additional $25 off your first order. That's Genius for an extra $25 off your first order on top of the $500 you'll save this year just for subscribing goodranchers.com American meat delivered this episode is sponsored by Square. I pay attention to how places run. I can't help it. And there's a little bakery downtown called Northern Roots where everything just works. The line moves quickly, the receipt hits my email before I've even stepped away from the counter, and the person helping me isn't stressed about the register. They're just present. That kind of smooth experience doesn't happen by accident. It's Square. Square brings payments, inventory, and sales tracking into one system, so business owners aren't juggling a bunch of separate tools. It's the kind of support that helps you focus on what actually matters. Square helps you run faster, sell smarter, and stay in control even when things get busy. And why wait? Right now you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com go/lazygenius. That's sq u a r e.com go run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. All right, let's get into the overlooked secret to loving your home. I want to start with three foundational beliefs that I think every lazy genius wants to believe to be true in your home. These are the three things that keep us focused on what matters. After we talk about those three beliefs, I'll share three phases that you can walk through that practically help you create a home that you really love to be in. You spend some time in phase one, you get comfortable there. Then you move on to phase two, get comfortable there, and then to phase three. But first we need to start with the three foundational beliefs for learning to love your home. These beliefs are compassionate boundaries that keep you from floating away into the abyss of discontentment. So belief number one, how my home feels is more important than how it looks. That's what I want you to say to yourself. And grow to believe how my home feels is more important than how it looks. Whenever I hear someone talk about their home and how they wish it were different, they always start with how it looks. Which makes sense, but for a lazy genius, it is the wrong place to start. How something looks is low on the list because looks don't actually do the thing that we want our homes to do. Aesthetics and great furniture and well placed lamps or whatever else that you wish you had. They do not make your home a warm, welcoming place. Not on their own. I want you to imagine homes that you've been in or even lived in that felt good to be in. Right? They felt warm and welcoming, inviting, safe, whatever words you want to choose. What made the home feel that way? I'm guessing it wasn't the size of the couch or the intricacies of the bookshelf vignettes or the uniqueness of the art on the walls. It was probably like the person. It was how they looked at you, how they welcomed you in, how they weren't precious about their things or focused on their home more than they were focused on you. That they didn't apologize for their home in a way that made you question your own home. Now I want you to imagine the flip side. Have you ever had or been in a home that was beautifully decorated? It looked like a million bucks and you did not feel at ease. The house looked amazing, but you didn't like, necessarily love being there. I had a friend whose childhood home felt that way. To me, the house was a stunner, but I always felt a little nervous being there because it was such a stunner. I was worried about messing stuff up or putting the chips back in the wrong place, or upsetting her mom who liked things a certain way. The home looked beautiful, but it was not easy to be in. Beautifully decorated homes can be cold. Plain homes can be warm. Therefore, how your home feels is more important than how it looks. The more you believe that to be true, the more at ease you'll feel in creating A home you love and the better your choices about how it looks down the road. The second belief that helps you love your home is that it's good to take your time. It's good to take your time. I recently saw a photo of our family living room from, like, just after we moved into this house, which was about 15 years ago. None of the furniture or decor from that photo is in our living room now. Now, some of the furniture and decor is like in other parts of the house, but the living room itself is completely different than it was 15 years ago. However, at no point have we done an overhaul of the living room. No overhauls, no immediate makeovers. Over 15 years, we have taken our time. I have found pieces I love. We've learned how the room suits our family well. It's taken me time to understand what my style is. So today, our living room, it is one of my favorite places to be in all the world. It feels good. It feels like home, and it does look like a room that is us. But I never would have gotten that living room all at once, ever. It feels and looks this way because I took my time. Now, I did the opposite in our previous home. I was in my early 20s when Kaz and I moved from our small townhouse into a house that was way too big for us. And I did not take my time. Like, we had virtually no furniture, definitely no style, no decor. Like, very little. And I went all out on decorating the entire thing immediately, almost like I was on, like, a decorating television show. Like, there had to be a distinct before and after. Nothing gradual, all immediate and almost everything we put in our home then is no longer with us. That's not because it got too old. It's because I went too fast. I did not take my time learning and trying new things and finding out what I liked. I just went for it, tried to set it up and leave it, and it did not go so great. This is common for so many of us. We're discontent with partially done rooms with half measures, with a couch we like, but a coffee table we don't. We think that our options are a total makeover or unhappiness. I'm guilty of this, of thinking that a room is not done until I absolutely love everything about it. Well, we just established that how a home feels is more important than how it looks. So if that's true, it's good to take our time getting to a place where we love how it looks. There's a lot of trying and learning and waiting and Hunting. And yet a room can still feel the way we want it to feel, even if it doesn't look the way we want it to look. Yet that belief changes how we feel at home. That gradual is better than immediate, that it's good to take your time. And the third belief is that small things matter. Loving your home isn't about how it looks overall or how it looks. Having it all look awesome. Like right now, in this moment, we have to believe that small things matter as we gradually create a home that feels good to be in, not just looks good. Small things like a shelf that displays photos that make you smile, plants. A candle that you love to light, a lamp where you change out the light bulb to be either cooler or warmer light, depending on what you want in there. Cuddling up on the couch with your partner or your kid at the end of the day and being happier about the cuddling than about the couch itself. Small things matter. Small changes matter. Noticing those tending to and being grateful for the small things in your home, I think it inspires you to keep doing small things. And small things are so much easier than big ones. It's way easier to slowly create a living room you love over a year or two or 15, like me, then try and redecorate the whole thing this weekend based on whatever is available at Lowe's. Side note, I think that's one of the reasons why remodels are so stressful, especially things with permanent fixtures like bathrooms or kitchens. You're having to make all of those design choices like tile and countertops and faucet finishes and lighting and stuff all at once. It's all immediate and big. Like there's nothing small or gradual about it. And that's hard. That's really hard. So creating a home that you love is actually a fantastic opportunity to practice smallness, to value doing one small thing in a room to make it feel a certain way and then being done until you do the next small thing. The secret to loving your home is not having a home that's beautifully decorated, regularly tended to, super tidy. It's really clean all the time. That matches the pictures in your head or on Instagram. I know you would like that home right now. And maybe you're even feeling a little discontent and unhappy that you don't have that yet, and that's okay. But I truly believe that the secret to loving your home is to focus on how you want your home to feel, to take your time and to believe that small steps matter. You might not be able to completely Change your home right now. In fact, almost certainly now. You can't change all the decor or the floor plan or its location. If you're unhappy with where you actually live. That you can change how it feels based on what you believe, which I think is pretty great. So if we are starting with the three beliefs that how your home feels is more important than how it looks, that it's good to take your time, and that small things matter, let's talk through the practical side of this. How can you create a home that you love to be in? Like, for real? I think there are three phases that help you get there. Each one is like learning a new skill that builds on the next. So don't move too quickly through these phases. Like, get comfortable with one before you move on to the next one. So phase one is how your home feels. We have already established that how your home feels is more important than how it looks. So this makes sense. Is our starting place. As we talk about this phase, keep in mind that it's good to take your time and it's good to start small. All right, what do you want your home to feel like? You get to choose. Here are some words that might spark, like, a little energy for you. Cozy. Comfortable. Welcoming. Peaceful. Colorful. Playful. Calming. Reliable. Warm. Earthy. Interesting. Inviting. Choose a word for your home. Or you can start small and choose a word for one room. Now ask yourself, what makes my home or this room feel that way already? Don't sell yourself short. Like, I want you to spot the good that's here right now. I guarantee that whatever word you've named can be felt at least a little bit in your home because it is something that matters to you. So what are you already doing? What's already making your home feel that way? For me, I want my home to feel cozy. I think that's one of the reasons my boys like being home so much, because it's cozy and inviting. So what makes my home feel that way already? Yes, I think, you know, the cozy couch and the big basket of blankets definitely help, but I also think it's the culture. I try really hard to make it a point to welcome my family when they get home. Like, I really try to look them in the eye and warmly greet them and say that I'm glad they're home. I don't always remember to do this, but most of the time when the kids walk in the door from school, I don't say, how was your day? Or even be in a different room. Like, I try to notice when they're gonna get home and go to the door where they're going to be and say, I'm so happy to see you. Coziness and warmth and that invitation, I think it comes from people more than from furniture. You know, in our house, we also have a lot of, like, texture and sensory stuff that makes it feel cozy. For example, light. We use lamps more than overhead lights. I open windows constantly to let in, like, the naturally setting sun, which is sort of a nice, cozy feel that we're sort of moving with the day. I light candles sometimes. We play the fireplace show on tv. That attention to light, that adds coziness, and it has nothing to do with how the house looks. We play chill music a lot. We keep the couch cleared off except for pillows, so that it's easy to get in there and be cozy. We have a lot of food in bowls. Like, our dinners are certainly served in bowls because I feel like a bowl of food is, like, so cozy. We always have baked bread and snacks and stuff on the counter, which I think is also cozy and inviting. Those things all contribute to our home feeling the way that it does. And really none of them have to do with, like, furniture quality or how shelves are decorated, you know? So ask yourself what already makes your home feel the way that you want it to? Think about all your senses. And then I want you to keep doing those things. Keep doing them with great intention. And then you can say, like, oh, well, what else can I do to keep that feeling alive, to cultivate that feeling here? Like, if you want a peaceful home, you're probably not gonna, like, have the Clash blaring on the speakers when everybody gets home from school. But, hey, if you want a fun home, you might just have the Clash blaring on the speakers when everyone gets home from school. If you want your home to feel playful, you might high five your teenager every time you pass him. But if you want your home to feel warm, you might give him a hug every time you pass him or a pat on the shoulder. It's different, right? Those are really simple things that have nothing to do with decorations or vignettes or styled shelves or new furniture. So I want you to spend some time here. I want you to spend some time in phase one for a little while and focus on how your home feels. Start small and take your time. So that's phase one. Next is phase two. Focus on how your home functions. Okay? It's usually easier to love your home when it works pretty well, when it has space for the things that matter, when the Right. Things work and when people have what they need. This is my favorite phase to be a lazy genius. In fact, a lot of our office hours questions are in this phase. A lot of our lazy genius of the week answers are those ideas are responses probably to this phase, to making something function just a little bit better. Right. We're trying to identify small problems that keep our home functioning well, solving those small problems and enjoying the small but mighty results of them. I've shared this story many times before, but I always come back to it because it's something that is stuck for so long that fits in this phase two place. So for the longest time, I was not loving my home because of how many cups were everywhere. Oh, my gosh. Cups and water bottles, new cups because a kid couldn't find their old one that they were already using. Like, I was a little dramatic about it, but I felt like I was living in a house of cups. So rather than get different kinds of cups or being mean to my children, or coming up with some complicated cup system or going beyond the cups and being like, our house is too small or whatever it might be, I lazy geniused it. I used the principle, put everything in its place, and I created a place for cups and water bottles that were in use. I just got this, like, wooden lazy Susan. It's very simple. It doesn't matter what it is. I put it on the kitchen counter out in the open. That is where the cups go. We then implemented a house rule which is another lazy genius principle that said, hey, cups and water bottles for the day, they go on the drink spinner when you're not using them. Now, it took a few weeks of encouragement for that to work, for people to remember to use the drink spinner. But here we are years later, like many, many, many years, and that drink spinner is still on the counter and doing its job. It makes our home function better and therefore easier to live in and love. It's nice to live in phase one before you enter phase two because you might hit phase two and start solving problems with, like, a harder spirit than you intend. If you don't have a sense of how you want your home to feel, you might start solving problems like an angry robot. And that sort of defeats the purpose of creating a home that you love that has this specific feeling that you're after. So know how you want your home to feel. Cultivate that feeling for as long as it takes. And when it's time to solve small problems that help your home function better, you will do it with More intention and kindness because you're letting that feeling lead rather than the mechanics of the problem. I feel like 80% of what I make exists in phase two, so we won't go into it anymore. But I tell you what, Phase two, figuring out how your home functions works a lot better when you've spent some time in phase one first and figured out how you want your home to feel. Then after that, after you know how you want your home to feel and you've cultivated that feeling and you're experiencing it outside of what your home looks like, after you have started to make things function a little bit better, now it's time to move into phase three, which you can probably guess what that is. Phase three is how things look. So once you have established how your home feels and you have solved enough small problems to help it function better, how it looks actually falls into place more easily. Now, hear me. I'm not saying that you can't, like, buy anything new for your house. You can't choose, like, a pretty rug for your living room until you've named how you want your home to feel and how that you've made everything in your living room functional. I'm not saying that. However. However, the kind of rug you choose for your living room, it will change depending on how you want the room to feel and how you want the room to function. The aesthetics of your home support feeling and function. They're not necessarily the source for it. Now, because I don't know your style, and also because I am not a home decor expert at all, we're not going to spend a whole lot of time in this phase. I just want you to go in the right order, which is another lazy genius principle. Go in the right order and stop putting how your home looks above how it feels and functions. If you are unhappy with your home focusing on how it looks first, it probably is not going to get you where you want to go, especially if you ignore the first two things. So because I don't know your style and because all the particulars of decorating is not really the point here, I just want to tell you a story, okay? I want to tell you a story of how I went through the three phases in my living room over the 15 years that we have lived here, right? I already told you, the furniture and decor has changed, like, almost completely, but it happened over a long period of time. Okay? So I want a cozy home. I want my home to feel cozy, like I said. And I also, I like for everything in the living room, especially to Be contained. That's part of its functionality. For me, I want enough storage so that our stuff has somewhere to go where we don't have to look at it while still leaving plenty of floor and couch space to be cozy and play games and hang out. Right? Like, I want the stuff to not clog up where we're going to be cozy. I want it to have a place to go. So storage has always mattered in the living room and in my whole house, frankly, now, at first, warmth was generated from within. It was more of a culture than an aesthetic. We have always had a big, cozy couch because that matters. But the decor from 15 years ago, it did not add a lot of warmth, really. Like, I can see that in the picture. But we still had light and music and family connection, and that was plenty. It was great. The functionality was pretty steady, too. We had a couple of pieces from IKEA for a long time that held our stuff. Most of our furniture actually was from IKEA for years and years, because that's what you do when you first get married and you don't have a lot of money, is you go buy stuff at ikea. So the stuff, it functioned, and we were fine, right? We were generating warmth as a culture in our family. And we had pieces that did what they were supposed to do. Like, it was great, it was fine. But the aesthetics were not warm, nor were they really our style. Everything was like that IKEA white. And I wanted to start substituting in, like, swapping out IKEA white hard lines for texture and wood and warmth to continue making my home feel cozy. Right? I had lived in phases one and two for a really long time. And a few years ago, it was, like, time to start small and take my time and find similarly functional pieces to what I already had. That looked warmer than what we had, right? That looked cozier than what we had, because that is what I wanted the room to feel like. So over years, the IKEA furniture, it was, like, moved into other parts of the house or sold at yard sales. And in the places of those furniture I have slowly added again over years, mostly thrifted pieces that have warmth and personality, like, in their literal bones, because they're, like, made of real wood and they're old and they have, like, marks on them and they have, like, cool legs and interesting. They're just interesting, right? But I don't buy furniture that's just pretty. It has to be warm and cozy, feeling, like, in its vibe, and it still has to function in a way that the old piece does, or else what am I even doing right? I need it to be cozy, it needs to contribute to being cozy, and it still needs to function. I'll share this photo. It's actually two photos in the next latest Lazy Listens podcast recap email that. Just this month, just this month, I made a fantastic small change in my living room with a piece of furniture. I was at my favorite consignment store and I spotted a tall, like, dark blue, green wooden dresser with, like, the coolest hardware. It had really cool inlay detail. It was just so rad. Now my immediate thought was, everything in my house is functioning fine. I don't really have anywhere to put this. And I left the store, but I kept thinking about the dresser and I texted a friend and I was like, I found a pretty dresser, but I don't know where I'll put it and if it's worth it to buy it. And she was like, girl, a dresser that's cheaper than something you'd find at Ikea and unique that you keep thinking about. You should just go get it and figure it out later. So I split the difference between how I was feeling and what her advice was. And I went back for a second time that day because I was on my way to school pickup and the store is like, right by the school. And so I just swung in there really quickly to take a photo and some measurements because I didn't do that the first, first time. And I wondered, I was like, I wonder if this would go well by my reading chair in the living room that is also a recent addition to the warmth and functionality of my living room space, like, right after Christmas. I've talked about that before. And that photo was also in the latest Lazy Listens email. And I wondered, I was like, huh, like, this could be really great next to my reading chair. I already had an old Target desk that functioned well enough next to my reading chair that this would function the same, if not better, because it had more storage and it would add visual warmth and coziness in a way that this cheap desk did not. So I took a photo of the dresser and then I left again two times to that store in the same day. After I got home from school drop off, I kept thinking about the dresser. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept visualizing it in its place, place. I measured, like, the space, you know, it would totally go there. I realized it would be so much more beautiful to look at than the desk that was there. And then I realized I was like, man, if I go back to the store tomorrow, and that dresser is gone. I'm gonna be kind of heartbroken. So I hopped in the car and went to the store for the third time that day. I got there with five minutes to spare before closing, and I bought the dresser. Oh, my gosh. It now lives next to my reading chair. It functions even better than the desk before it, and it looks like a million bucks. In fact, it makes the whole room feel like itself now. It's like the dresser was made for my living room, and like, the living room's been waiting for this dresser for. For a really long time. But listen, my living room would never have felt that way all at once. The living room needed to feel the way I wanted it to, despite the decor for a little while. It needed to function properly, even with pieces that weren't the prettiest. And then, then I was able to slowly and thoughtfully swap functional pieces for cozy, functional pieces again. I'll share photos of like before and after in the latest Lacey listens email. I think creating a home is like. It's kind of like becoming a person. You just don't turn 21 and suddenly have everything figured out, even though you think you might. There is constant becoming. There are changes and adjustments and realizations and things that you have to unlearn and new skills that you require and taste preferences or all kinds of things that develop over time with experience. And like, living your life. Who you are at 21 is not who you are at 31 or 41 or 51 and so on. We don't just come out like a completely formed person. And I think the same is true of your home. Your home is not gonna become. It's like static self right away. It will grow and adjust based on your season of life, on your preferences, even just like trying certain furniture configurations. Slowly, over time, your home is going through its own journey of becoming itself. So don't rush it. Go through the process. Honor the order. So, in conclusion, I want you to start with beliefs that help guide you. How your home feels is more important than how it looks. It's good to take your time, and small steps matter. Then I want you to live in each of these three phases before actively moving on to the next one. So that you can, like, immediately love your home, immediately love it, and continue to love it even more as you move from how it feels to how it functions than to how it looks. Starting with how it looks might be fun on renovation television shows, but it's not real life for most people. So go in the right order. Don't overlook the secret sauce of how your home feels and I genuinely believe that you will continue to love your home and you can actually love it right now. And that is the overlooked secret to loving your home. This episode is sponsored by Ritual. Winter always changes my skin more than I expect. Even when I'm consistent with skin care, things can start to feel a little dry and less smooth. I've trusted Ritual's multivitamins for years, so when they introduced Haicera, I was immediately interested. One of the reasons I stick with Ritual is because of what they stand for. High quality ingredients, traceability, third party testing. Their products are vegan, GMO free and tested for heavy metals and allergens, which gives me a lot of confidence in what I'm taking. 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