The Lazy Genius Podcast

Episode 441: What to Do When Everything Is a Little Annoying
Host: Kendra Adachi
Date: October 27, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Kendra Adachi ("The Lazy Genius") addresses the universal feeling of being persistently low-key annoyed—whether caused by life’s busyness, illness, hormones, or just a stretch of tough days. Recognizing that most people don’t want to live at the mercy of constant irritation (or let it tip into anger), she shares practical strategies for both reframing and tending to annoyance. Kendra structures the advice into five things to remember and five things to do when everything feels a little annoying.

The episode also features:

• Updates on new Lazy Genius playbooks (travel, celebration, projects, and yearbook)
• A segment on the Adachi family’s Halloween plans and candy strategy
• Lazy Genius of the Week honoring a listener’s post-it note task system
• A mini pep talk for listeners feeling too numb to care

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Annoyance: Understanding and Reframing

Five Things to Remember
([47:00–1:10:00])

1. Annoyance is in the Eye of the Beholder

   • Annoyance stems from your own response rather than something being inherently annoying.
   • Example: Kendra and her husband, Kaz, differ in response to kids’ homework resistance.
     • “You are currently annoyed; they are not annoying… The annoyance is originating with me, not the situation.” (48:45)

2. Annoyance is Cumulative

   • Irritation builds throughout the day—small annoyances can pile up, affecting reactions to otherwise minor incidents.
   • “It’s a line of dominoes, y’all. They start falling real fast after that first one tips.” (53:30)
   • Recognizing accumulation can foster self-kindness.

3. You Can Be Annoyed Without Being Mean

   • Feeling annoyed is normal, but it’s possible (and important) to avoid taking it out on others.
   • Kendra shares a relatable drive-thru story about missing fries and melted desserts, showing how she managed escalating annoyance without being unkind:
     • “You can be annoyed. I can be annoyed without being mean.” (59:10)

4. You Have a Say

   • While emotions may rise, you maintain agency over your response (within the context of regular annoyance, not trauma or clinical concerns).
   • “We have agency in how we choose to respond because it is a choice.” (1:04:00)

5. This Is Manageable

   • Most everyday annoyances are manageable, even if it requires small solutions.
   • “Your response can be managed… Nothing is beyond a small solution, even if that solution is just like kindness right in that moment.” (1:07:30)

Practical Strategies: Actions to Take

Five Things to Do
([1:12:00–1:23:30])

1. Slow Down

   • Consciously slow your breathing, movements, speech, and mental chatter to counter the frenetic energy of annoyance.
   • “I don’t see anyone who is relaxed and annoyed at the same time, you know? So counteract the speed of your annoyance by slowing down.” (1:12:35)

2. Notice When You’re Exaggerating or Generalizing—and Stop

   • Check for “always,” “never,” or sweeping statements, which just scratch the “mosquito bite” of annoyance and heighten irritation.
   • Example: Instead of “he never does homework,” reflect on actual patterns and compassionate realities.
   • “Notice when you’re using words like always and never and every time and making blanket statements… that is soothing instead of creating further irritation.” (1:15:30)

3. Check Your Expectations

   • Examine what you’re expecting in the moment and consider whether it’s realistic, or setting yourself up for frustration.
   • “Your annoyance is going to be tied to your unmet expectations. So examine them.” (1:17:00)

4. Disrupt Your Funk

   • Break the cycle with a small, pleasant disruption: play music, step outside, call a friend, or (famously in the Adachi family) eat cake.
   • Story: Kendra’s son pulls out of a fantasy football spiral with a late-night cake run, declaring, “I feel so much better. We should just have emergency cake in the fridge at all times.” (1:19:43)

5. Access Kindness

   • Intentionally bring forth softness and kindness (whether through breath, personal values, or spiritual practice) to round off hard edges.
   • “Grumpiness and annoyance have edges… accessing softness and kindness… will counteract some of those hard edges.” (1:22:00)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Perspective:
  “The level of annoyance actually comes from me. It weirdly puts things in perspective and it starts to calm me down.” (49:30)

• On Accumulation:
  “At the bare minimum, you're letting out a very deep sigh that coworker is going to know you're annoyed, even if you try and be diplomatic about it, because you've already had a series of things that made you a little bit annoyed.” (53:09)

• On Being Kind Under Stress:
  “Now I can be annoyed, and I can even be angry without being mean, without degrading another person or shaming them or blaming them.” (1:00:15)

• On Agency:
  “Other people do not force our hand when it comes to our behavior… we have a say.” (1:04:10)

• On Annoyance Being Manageable:
  “Annoyance is manageable. If it’s not, there’s probably another layer underneath that might need professional support—and that’s really good to know.” (1:08:10)

• On Disruptions:
  “Disrupt the funk. You can play music… go for a run… call a friend who makes you laugh… or eat cake.” (1:19:00)

Notable Segments and Timestamps

• [16:30–46:30]: New Lazy Genius Playbooks launch
  Travel, Celebrations, Projects, and Yearbook—tools for planning what matters. Notable for Kendra’s enthusiasm and listener-requested features.

• [1:25:00–1:28:30]: Adachi Family Halloween Plans
  Kendra’s daughter Annie as a “fancy businesswoman” with a briefcase for candy, Kendra as her bodyguard—a creative, joyfully described costume duo.

• [1:28:30–1:30:30]: Candy Strategy
  “We only buy Halloween candy that our family personally loves to eat… no more bags of candy nobody wants after Halloween.” (1:29:00)

• [1:31:00–1:33:30]: Lazy Genius of the Week
  Listener Rachel from Maryland uses a post-it priority system to break overwhelm into “now, soon, later, nevermind” tasks.

• [1:34:00–1:36:15]: Mini Pep Talk for Feeling Numb
  “Going numb, I think it means you care… what you’re protecting behind your numbness is beautiful and worth preserving.” (1:35:10)

Tone and Style

Kendra speaks with warmth, humor, vulnerability, and practical empathy. Her tone is encouraging, modest (“I am just a random lady who has been through the fire”), and always invites listeners to adapt her ideas without pressure or perfectionism.

Notable language:

• “Counteract the speed of your annoyance by slowing down.”
• “Disrupt the funk—emergency cake in the fridge!”
• “You can be annoyed without being mean.”
• “Kindness doesn’t mean you stuff your feelings, but you don’t have to be mean to express them.”

Takeaways for Annoying Seasons

• Annoyance is inevitable, normal, and not a moral failing.
• Perspective, self-awareness, and small disruptions can restore calm and kindness—to yourself and others.
• Tools that organize your tasks, rhythms, and life around what matters (like Kendra’s playbooks or Rachel’s post-it method) do help.
• If you’re numb, remember you likely care deeply—don’t judge yourself, and consider seeking deeper support if you need it.

Feel free to share this episode with a friend who might need a calm, compassionate approach to life’s annoyances—or just a good idea for Halloween costumes or emergency cake stashes.

Selected Quotes with Timestamps

• “You are currently annoyed; they are not annoying…” (48:45)
• “…It’s a line of dominoes, y’all. They start falling real fast after that first one tips.” (53:30)
• “You can be annoyed… without being mean.” (59:10)
• “Disrupt the funk. You can play music… or eat cake.” (1:19:00)
• “Going numb, I think it means you care… what you’re protecting behind your numbness is beautiful.” (1:35:10)