Summary of "The Leadership Dance" Episode 11: "How to Step Up and Be the Best Boss" with Sabina Nawaz

Release Date: March 3, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 11 of The Leadership Dance, host Alissa Hsu Lynch engages in a profound conversation with Sabina Nawaz, an esteemed executive coach and former Microsoft executive. This episode delves into the nuances of leadership, particularly focusing on the challenges and transformations that come with rising to managerial positions. Sabina shares her personal journey, insights from her extensive experience, and the core principles from her latest book, "You're the Boss: Becoming the Manager You Want to Be."

Sabina Nawaz’s Background and Career Journey

Early Life and Education

Sabina Nawaz opens up about her upbringing in Calcutta, India, where societal norms often direct individuals towards careers in medicine or engineering. Despite these pressures, Sabina emphasizes the pivotal role her parents played in fostering independence and prioritizing education:

“My parents really focused on my education. They got me a first-rate education... they gave me the choice of continuing my studies.”
(00:33)

Transition to the United States

Moving to the U.S. for higher education was a significant shift for Sabina. Attending Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, provided a stark contrast to the bustling metropolis of Calcutta. She highlights the cultural and environmental adjustments she had to make, including missteps like confusing red mailboxes in India with blue ones in the U.S.:

“I tried to mail my first letter home in a fire hydrant... I had no idea that there would be a blue mailbox.”
(04:56)

Career at Microsoft

After graduating from Smith College and the University of Massachusetts, Sabina embarked on a challenging job search, submitting 180 applications before landing her first role at Microsoft. Initially passionate about coding, she soon realized it wasn't her true calling. With the support of a manager, she transitioned into roles focused on professional and executive development, ultimately overseeing the development of over 11,000 managers and nearly 1,000 executives:

“I had no idea what I was doing. I just came in with street smarts and lived experience as a manager.”
(09:34)

From Engineer to Executive Coach

Sabina recounts her sabbatical from Microsoft, which became a turning point in her career. During this period, she founded a nonprofit theater company and began coaching colleagues, leading her to question her career trajectory. This introspection culminated in her pivot to executive coaching, where she applied her extensive experience to help others navigate leadership challenges:

“It felt like a waste of time to pursue something whose formula I already knew. And that's when everything changed.”
(08:16)

Launching "You're the Boss"

Inspiration Behind the Book

Sabina reveals that her book was inspired by her personal struggles as a manager under immense pressure. Balancing high-level corporate responsibilities with the challenges of parenthood led her to realize the detrimental effects of stress on leadership behavior:

“I micromanaged. I forgot to be empathetic... people were crying after meetings with me.”
(12:31)

Key Themes

One of the central arguments in her book is that pressure, not power, corrupts leadership. She provides tangible examples and early warning signs for leaders to recognize and mitigate the adverse effects of stress:

“Pressure can come at you in a number of different ways... the challenge as a boss is the higher up you go, the more pressure you have.”
(14:10)

Managing Under Pressure

Sabina shares a poignant example of a client who, under significant stress, snapped at an employee over a delayed flight and lack of snacks:

“I just snapped at him and I said, we don't have any time here, give me your laptop.”
(14:10)

She outlines four key warning signs that pressure and power are negatively impacting leadership:

1. Lack of Dissent: “Nobody ever argues with you or offers a different point of view.”
   (14:30)

2. Overwork Perception: Feeling like the only one putting in the effort.
   (14:30)

3. Inflated Self-Perception: Being perceived as funnier, smarter, or faster than reality.
   (16:00)

4. Justifications and Excuses: Relying on “yeah, but...” to rationalize behavior.
   (16:00)

Personal Reflections

Sabina candidly shares her own experiences with stress and the importance of having trusted individuals to provide honest feedback:

“The minute you become manager, you stop getting the full truth. So it is great to have a partner, to have a coach.”
(18:10)

Prioritizing Self-Care: Managing Yourself First

One of the pivotal concepts from Sabina’s book is "Managing Yourself First". She emphasizes that leaders must prioritize their well-being to effectively manage others and drive business success:

“If they don't take care of themselves, that pressure and combined with that fatigue is going to take away from them taking care of others or the business.”
(18:49)

Implementing Self-Care

Sabina introduces the idea of microhabits—small, manageable actions that build over time to foster sustained self-care:

“Start super, super, super small... instead of... I'm gonna do one push up a day.”
(22:08)

She shares her personal microhabits, such as smiling once a day and doing at least one jumping jack, which help her stay grounded amid the pressures of her book launch and professional responsibilities:

“One is simply to smile once a day... another is at least one Jumping jack.”
(22:18)

Authenticity in Leadership

Sabina redefines authenticity as a plural and context-dependent concept rather than a singular, static trait. She argues that true authenticity is about aligning actions with core values, even as different roles and environments demand varying expressions of oneself:

“Our authenticity is not singular, nor is it static... Context and role make a big difference in what part of us comes in.”
(33:19)

Differentiating from Compartmentalizing

While authenticity involves adapting to different contexts, Sabina distinguishes it from mere compartmentalizing by ensuring that changes in behavior remain true to one's underlying values:

“As long as you're not then putting on something that they're all true to you... it's just that the context, the compartment that you're in changes.”
(35:35)

Cultivating Superpowers in Leadership

Through her coaching practice, Sabina helps leaders identify and harness their unique strengths, or "superpowers," using a process inspired by Bernard Haldane’s dependable strengths methodology. This involves:

1. Identifying Good Experiences: Reflecting on past successes and moments of pride.
2. Extracting Recurring Strengths: Pinpointing patterns that highlight inherent strengths.
3. Amplifying Strengths: Encouraging leaders to leverage these strengths further for exceptional performance.

“There is so much opportunity for growth in our strengths... how can we make you play even bigger in those arenas?”
(29:43)

Fostering Innovation Through Blank Space

Sabina introduces the concept of "blank space", dedicated periods where leaders unplug and allow their minds to wander, fostering creativity and innovation:

“Take two hours together, back to back once a week... you just sit there and think... most of our insights come when we're doing nothing.”
(30:02)

This practice encourages leaders to step away from constant activity, promoting mental rest and space for breakthrough ideas.

Embracing Unique Leadership Styles

Sabina discusses the importance of embracing one's uniqueness in leadership rather than conforming to traditional corporate molds. She reflects on a pivotal moment when she realized the futility of trying to blend in with her male colleagues at Microsoft:

“I was trying for these first four years... pretty much I was trying to be one of the guys... I realized, wait, I'm not a man.”
(26:40)

She advocates for leaders to identify and leverage their unique strengths to contribute authentically to their organizations.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up the conversation, Sabina Nawaz offers sage advice to her younger self and to current and aspiring leaders:

“Don't believe yourself... pause and say, wait a minute, how is this showing up on the other side?”
(32:11)

She underscores the importance of self-awareness, continual growth, and maintaining authenticity amidst the evolving demands of leadership roles.

Closing Remarks

Alissa Hsu Lynch concludes the episode by congratulating Sabina on her book launch and encouraging listeners to embrace the insights shared to become the best managers they can be.

“Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast, and I look forward to seeing you at your book launch in Seattle soon.”
(36:27)

Key Takeaways

• Leadership Under Pressure: Recognize how stress can alter managerial behavior and implement strategies to mitigate its effects.
• Self-Care as a Leadership Mandate: Prioritize personal well-being to enhance professional performance and empathy.
• Authentic Leadership: Embrace multiple facets of one’s identity, aligning actions with core values across different contexts.
• Microhabits for Sustainable Growth: Implement small, consistent habits to foster long-term positive changes.
• Fostering Innovation: Allocate dedicated "blank space" time to nurture creativity and strategic thinking.

Sabina Nawaz’s insights provide a comprehensive roadmap for leaders aiming to navigate the complexities of managerial roles while staying true to themselves and fostering a positive, productive work environment.