Podcast Summary: The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk

Episode 661: Suzy Welch — How to Identify Your Core Values, Close the Authenticity Gap, and Live with Purpose
Release Date: November 10, 2025
Host: Ryan Hawk
Guest: Suzy Welch — Award-winning NYU Stern Professor, three-time NYT bestselling author ("Becoming You")

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ryan Hawk explores Suzy Welch’s groundbreaking “Becoming You” framework — a practical approach to discovering your unique purpose by identifying your core values, recognizing your aptitudes, and finding economically viable interests. Suzy shares her journey through grief, the origins of her NYU course and book, and actionable insights for listeners who want to live more authentically and with greater self-awareness. The conversation is energetic, candid, and filled with memorable stories and research-backed wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Area of Transcendence: Living Your Purpose

[02:35–05:16]

• Suzy illustrates "area of transcendence" with the example of Disturbed’s drummer fully immersed in a performance, calling it "the sacredness of purpose."

• Quote:

  "My whole life's work, my purpose is to help people find that purpose for themselves. ... I'm kind of like a purpose doula. My job is to get you to be the drummer in Disturbed, so to speak."
  —Suzy Welch [03:06]

• Suzy immediately grounds this in realism:

  "You better be good at it or forget it. Otherwise it’s a hobby."
  —Suzy Welch [04:15]

2. Suzy’s Personal Story: Loss, Reinvention, and Purpose

[06:56–12:15]

• Suzy details her life after her husband's illness and death (Jack Welch, former GE CEO), walking through personal grief during Covid, and the realization that meaningful work — not escapism — was her path forward.
• She describes how her proposal for the NYU class "Becoming You" unexpectedly met overwhelming demand.
• Quote:

  "My plan was to grieve. Even when you know it’s coming, nothing prepares you. ... I went up into the woods... Life sucks. I don’t know who I am without him. ... Then I had this gigantic eureka, which was, oh, my God. The cure is not walking in the woods. The cure is working."
  —Suzy Welch [07:36]

3. The 'Becoming You' Framework: Three Core Elements

[13:03–43:07]

• 1. Values Excavation

  • Not just personality — values are deeply held, organizing principles. Suzy identifies 16 fundamental values (e.g., scope, radius, belovedness, work centrism, affluence).
  • Distinction between values and virtues:

    "Values are choices about how we want to live, work, relate to people. ... Virtues are things like integrity and courage—virtues are social constructs that we all agree everybody should have more of."
    —Suzy Welch [14:15, 22:58]

  • Example: "Family centrism" is not universal — only 50% have it in their top five values.
  • The "Authenticity Gap": The difference between your values and how much you’re actually living them.
  • Quote (on values clarity):

    "Usually the response is, holy... This is the self-portrait I have been afraid to talk to people about."
    —Suzy Welch [16:15]

• 2. Identification of Your Aptitudes

  • Aptitudes are like "the dominant hand of our brain" — cognitive abilities preset by age 15 (future-focused, inductive, generalist/specialist, etc.).
  • Personality is "how the world experiences you," best measured through 360 feedback (PI360), not just self-description.
  • The gap in self-awareness is often large:

    "Your personality is not the list of adjectives you write down about yourself. Your personality is how the world experiences you."
    —Suzy Welch [30:51]

  • Suzy’s lesson from her own 360: She had to better communicate her control in chaotic situations.

    "The world said back to me, baby, you are the hurricane."
    —Suzy Welch [34:41]

• 3. Open the Aperture on Economically Viable Interests

  • Identify work that both calls you emotionally/intellectually and aligns with your value of affluence.
  • Most people know only a handful of career options; Suzy expands her students' view through "Opportunity Bingo" and megatrends.
  • Example: Nut tree farming as a fast-growing but overlooked career.
  • "Affluence" (how much money matters) varies widely; people often lie to themselves about this.
  • Quote:

    "If affluence is your top value, then you’ve got to look at all the work that calls you intellectually, emotionally—there may only be one job that also pays in that category."
    —Suzy Welch [43:07]

  • On career changes:

    "The market doesn’t lie. Are they willing to pay you, or not? If not, then it’s a hobby."
    —Ryan Hawk [47:33]

4. The Difference Between Values and Virtues

[13:30–24:46]

• Detailed, candid back-and-forth between Ryan and Suzy about distinctions:
  • "Thankfulness" is a virtue, not a value.
  • "Family centrism" or "cosmos" (faith) are values — they’re unique choices and not universally prioritized.
  • Quote:

    "Everybody should be like you, okay? Everybody should do it. ... But it shouldn’t be a choice."
    (On thankfulness as a virtue, not a value)
    —Suzy Welch [22:28]

5. Generational Value Differences

[25:22–29:42]

• Gen Z’s top values: eudaimonia (self-care), voice (authenticity), and nonsity (helping others); achievement and work centrism rank higher with hiring managers.
• Quote:

  "They look at the deal that's being offered to them by companies and they don’t want it. ... Achievement just brings you anxiety."
  —Suzy Welch [26:32]

• Ryan’s observation: His experiences with high-achieving students highlight the outliers and complexity in generational data.

6. Developing Self-Awareness

[35:46–39:21]

• Tools like 360 feedback are essential; most people overestimate their self-awareness.
• Story: As a crime reporter, Suzy learned everyone is the hero of their own story — self-narrative clouds self-perception.
• Quote:

  "Everyone writes the story of their life with themselves at the center as the hero."
  —Lt. Joe Lodato, quoted by Suzy Welch [36:39]

7. Practicing Radical Candor & Navigating Messy Life Decisions

[38:29–42:58]

• The difficulty of being a true "truth teller" due to possible social consequences.
• Suzy is candid about her own struggles giving tough feedback to friends, emphasizing the complexity and nuance in real life.
• Kim Scott’s "radical candor": Only about 10% of people naturally practice it, most opt for empathy over challenge.

8. Leadership & Sustained Excellence

[49:09–51:41]

• Commonality among excellent leaders:

  "They're not doing it for the money. ... They’re doing it for the love of the people, the love of excitement, the love of work, the love of impact."
  —Suzy Welch [49:09]

• Examples: Jensen Huang (Nvidia), Jeff Bezos (Amazon) — both exemplify clarity, vision, and a focus beyond financial compensation.
• High "work-centrism" can define personal and professional happiness (as in Suzy and Jack Welch's early return from their honeymoon to resume work).

9. Final Advice: Be the Author of Your Life

[52:50–53:38]

• Quote:

  "It’s better to be the author of your life than the editor. ... At a certain point, you have to become the author of your life. And the way you do that is by knowing who you are."
  —Suzy Welch [52:51]

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• [03:06]: "I'm kind of like a purpose doula. My job is to get you to be the drummer in Disturbed, so to speak." —Suzy Welch
• [04:15]: "You better be good at it or forget it. Otherwise it’s a hobby." —Suzy Welch
• [07:36]: "The cure is not walking in the woods. The cure is working." —Suzy Welch
• [14:15]: "Values are choices about how we want to live, work, relate to people. ... Virtues are things like integrity and courage." —Suzy Welch
• [16:15]: "This is the self-portrait I have been afraid to talk to people about." —Suzy Welch
• [22:58]: "A virtue is a generally accepted social construct... Values are choices." —Suzy Welch
• [26:32]: "Achievement just brings you anxiety. Now I don’t agree with that, but ... that’s their right." —Suzy Welch
• [34:41]: "The world said back to me, baby, you are the hurricane." —Suzy Welch
• [36:39]: "Everyone writes the story of their life with themselves at the center as the hero." —Lt. Joe Lodato, via Suzy Welch
• [49:09]: "They're not doing it for the money. ... They’re doing it for the love of the people, the love of excitement, the love of work, the love of impact." —Suzy Welch
• [52:51]: "It’s better to be the author of your life than the editor." —Suzy Welch

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:35] — Transcendence/purpose story
• [06:56] — Suzy’s personal journey and the NYU class story
• [13:03] — Introduction to the three-part framework
• [13:30–24:46] — Deep dive into values, values vs. virtues, generational differences
• [29:58–34:41] — Identifying aptitudes, 360 feedback, self-awareness
• [35:46–39:21] — Self-awareness, radical candor, truth-telling
• [43:07–48:44] — Economically viable interests, career selection, affluence
• [49:09–51:41] — Leadership excellence, case studies, personal stories
• [52:50–53:38] — Suzy’s closing life/career advice

Memorable Moments

• Suzy’s “purpose doula” analogy and her dream of having Disturbed’s drummer address her class.
• The difference between "family centrism" and "belovedness" as values, illuminated with personal stories about her marriage and children.
• The story of Suzy and Jack Welch leaving their honeymoon early to get back to work — exemplifying high work-centrism.
• Ryan’s candid back-and-forth with Suzy over what counts as a value vs. a virtue — both enlightening and entertaining.
• Suzy’s vulnerability admitting a friendship that faded because she couldn’t share hard truth — the “messiness” of life in practice.
• Her advice to “be the author” of your life, not just the editor.

Actionable Takeaways

• Take time to excavate your real values (not just virtues or personality traits) using tools like the Values Bridge.
• Seek honest feedback (e.g., 360 reviews) to increase self-awareness—most people have an authenticity gap they’re not conscious of.
• Broaden your understanding of careers and industries—many fulfilling, economically viable paths are hiding in plain sight.
• Understand your own need (or lack thereof) for affluence and make career/life decisions that align with all three pillars: values, aptitudes, and viable interests.
• Strive to become the author of your own life’s narrative by knowing yourself deeply and making bold, clear choices.

Further Resources

• Book: Becoming You by Suzy Welch
• Assessment: The Values Bridge (soon available online/open enrollment)
• Suggested prior episode: Insight Global’s Bert Bean & Sam Kaufman (#424)

This summary encapsulates the spirit, advice, and practical wisdom of the conversation — perfect for listeners who want to reflect and act on Suzy Welch’s actionable ideas about purpose, values, and authentic leadership.