Stop Being Frustrated At Work: How To Set And Manage Expectations With Hanna Hart, Executive Coach [E93]

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: The Legal Department
Episode: Stop Being Frustrated at Work: How to Set and Manage Expectations
Host: Stacy Bratcher
Guest: Hannah Hart, Executive Coach
Release Date: May 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this practical and engaging episode, host Stacy Bratcher welcomes back executive coach Hannah Hart to discuss a pain point for many in-house attorneys: setting and managing expectations at work. The episode covers why expectation-setting often goes overlooked, how mismatches lead to frustration, and actionable language and frameworks for leaders and team members to use. With stories, candid insights, and hands-on advice, Hart emphasizes the critical links between expectations, communication, generational differences, and overall team dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Types of Expectations and When to Set Them ([02:16]–[04:15])

• Three Categories:
  • Behavioral expectations: How team members interact, norms, and preferences (e.g., communication styles).
  • Task expectations: Details of assignments—timing, milestones, context, quality standards.
  • Roles and responsibilities: Clarity about individual versus shared duties, especially in cross-functional settings.
• When to Set Them:
  • Onboarding, at the outset of relationships, during role or task assignments, and through ongoing conversations.
• Insight: Most friction on teams stems from unclear or mismatched expectations.

"I think a lot of relationship friction is caused by mismatched expectations... if you have some ability to name an expectation and check whether that expectation is shared, that's a really important relationship skill."
—Hannah Hart, [04:07]

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2. Negotiating Expectations: It’s Not One-Way ([05:22]–[07:56])

• Authority Matters:
  • Leaders may set expectations but should create space for discussion—others may need "permission" to contribute.
• Negotiation Example:
  • If a manager's task deadline conflicts with an employee’s existing workload, both parties need to find workable timing.
• Flexibility is Critical:
  • Task and behavioral expectations can sometimes be negotiated, especially considering workload or communication preferences.

"You have to have some agreement or buy-in in order to make it work."
—Hannah Hart, [06:48]

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3. Practical Language for Leaders ([07:56]–[11:44])

• Creating Space:
  • Instead of dictating, ask: “How does that fit with your workload?” or “Where would you start?”
  • Avoid ambiguous delegation (“would be nice to have by Friday”)—clarify whether it’s a real deadline.
• Providing Context:
  • Share the bigger picture or “the why” behind tasks to encourage agency and proper prioritization.

"If I want to be super warm and friendly, I could say, how does that fit in with your workload?"
—Hannah Hart, [08:33]

• Context Matters:
  • Explaining dependencies (e.g., board meeting deadlines) helps team members understand importance and sequencing.

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4. Setting Relationship Expectations in Onboarding ([12:01]–[14:18])

• Overwhelm Preventative:
  • No need to “dump” all information; instead, set expectation for open communication.
• Structure:
  • Detail meeting cadence, introduce key relationships, establish feedback timelines, and define what success looks like after specific periods.
• Self-Ownership:
  • If onboarding is lacking, seek resources for self-guided success (e.g., recommended: The First 90 Days book).

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5. Language & Strategies for Junior Team Members ([14:18]–[16:22])

• Initiate Conversations:
  • “Hey, I want to check in on how things are going.”
  • Specify areas of confusion rather than seeking broad, undefined guidance.
• Own Your Success:
  • Ask targeted, performance-improving questions, and request one-on-one time proactively.

"If you say, hey, I want to do a good job... I’m having some confusion about X, Y or Z... try to make your request as specific as possible."
—Hannah Hart, [14:54]

• Avoid “Soldiering On” in Silence:
  • It’s better to flag challenges early than to risk going off-track and delivering unsatisfactory work.

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6. Generational Differences and Expectation Management ([17:25]–[21:10])

• Gen X Perspective:
  • Emphasis on independence and “figure it out;” contrasted with perceived “neediness” in younger generations (Gen Z).
• Avoid Stereotypes:
  • Treat individuals as such—avoid assumptions.
• Developmental Approach:
  • Use scaffolding as a tool: assess and provide only as much guidance as needed, then gradually reduce it.
• Situational Leadership Model:
  • Match your management style to the recipient’s skill and will for the given task.

"Your managerial style needs to meet them, rather than you expecting them to adapt to you."
—Hannah Hart, [19:44]

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7. Scaffolding vs. Micromanagement ([21:10]–[22:55])

• The Spectrum:
  • From “throw them in the deep end” to “micromanage”—effective management lies between.
• Techniques:
  • After assigning a task, ask for a walk-through of their planned approach; correct early if needed.
• Self-Awareness for Leaders:
  • Reflect on your own unstated expectations, and ensure communication is explicit.

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8. Feedback Loops and Task Ownership ([23:16]–[25:56])

• Delegation Reflection:
  • If a delegated task goes poorly, ask: was the hand-off clear? Did I provide feedback beyond redlining?
• Long-Term Development:
  • A leader’s role includes growing and retaining talent, not just completing tasks.
• Explicit Teaching:
  • Discuss the “why” behind feedback, especially for junior staff who may not intuit processes or reasoning.

"If you as the manager are not making time to talk someone through the why of your redline... is that reasonable?"
—Hannah Hart, [24:37]

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9. Navigating Behavioral Expectations in a Hybrid World ([28:09]–[31:45])

• Remote/Hybrid Sensitivities:
  • Examples: expectations for camera-on, professional attire on Zoom, etc.
• Communicating Preferences:
  • Share your preferences, but allow for team norms to develop.
• User’s Guide Strategy:
  • Some leaders draft “user’s guides” detailing how they operate, communicate, and give feedback. Teams can exchange these to promote understanding.

"There are elements... that sort of set the tone for formality or informality..."
—Hannah Hart, [30:46]

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Notable Quotes

• On setting expectations clearly:
  "Making sure that you’re clear when something is not open to negotiation, and making space when it is open to negotiation." —Hannah Hart, [09:33]

• On tackling generational differences in learning:
  "Let’s live in the real world... what is actually going to help someone learn and make them want to stick around and work with you again?" —Hannah Hart, [25:39]

• On behavioral expectations post-pandemic:
  "Behavioral is a broad topic. It’s how we communicate, how you show up, et cetera. But it can be kind of sensitive..." —Stacy Bratcher, [28:09]

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Memorable Moments

• Personal Connection: Stacy recounts leading a meeting and being surprised that her preferences weren't obvious to others, emphasizing the need for explicit communication ([01:16]–[01:49]).
• Humor: Hannah jokes about the outdated fashion rules in offices as an example of overdone behavioral expectations ([29:16]).
• Actionable insight: The introduction of the “user’s guide to me” as a practical team-building exercise ([29:42]).

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Timestamps for Critical Segments

| Topic | Start | |-------------------------------------------------------|---------| | Introduction, why expectations matter | 01:16 | | Distinguishing types of expectations | 02:16 | | Negotiating expectations and communication strategies | 05:22 | | Practical leadership language for delegation | 07:56 | | Onboarding and early relationship expectations | 12:01 | | How juniors can negotiate for clarity | 14:18 | | Generational differences in workplace expectations | 17:25 | | Scaffolding vs. micromanagement | 21:10 | | Feedback, task ownership, and long-term leadership | 23:16 | | Behavioral expectations in hybrid settings | 28:09 | | User’s guide idea, team preferences | 29:42 |

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Tone and Style

The conversation is candid, practical, and occasionally humorous, reflecting both Stacy’s leadership experience and Hannah’s hands-on coaching approach. The tone is supportive but direct: the hosts discuss their own learning points and encourage listeners to reflect on their own practices.

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Closing Fun Question ([32:18])

• Pump-up Song: Hannah’s current favorite is Bad Bunny’s "Tite Me Pregunto," for its energy and singalong value.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: The First 90 Days (for self-onboarding and expectation-setting)
• Hannah Hart’s Website: hannahhartleadership.com
• Hannah on Forbes: Forbes.com

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Transcript

[A]

My name is Hannah Hart. I am an executive coach and facilitator. And a fun fact about me is that I swim in cold water without a wetsuit for 20 to 30 minutes a couple times a week.

[B]

Welcome to the Legal Department, a podcast for lawyers who want to learn, connect, and grow their careers. I'm Stacy Bratcher. I'm a general counsel, and I'm exc to share these conversations to help you level up in house. On today's episode of the Legal Department, I'm excited to welcome back Hannah Hart, who's an executive coach. She was here for episode 63 where we talked about feedback, and that was actually a very highly rated. And I got a lot of feedback on the feedback episode. And as I was reflecting on it, the opposite side of feedback, and we talked about this in episode 60, is setting expectations. And so that's what I wanted to talk to Hannah about. So, Hannah, thanks for coming back.

[A]

Oh, I'm happy to be with you, Stacy. And a topic that's near and dear to my heart.

[B]

Well, it comes up all the time. It actually came up for me recently. I lead a big meeting with a lot of different people in it, and I was working on agenda setting with someone who supports that meeting. And we were talking about, well, we want more people to contribute and whatever and give reports. And I said, well, don't you think people know that they're. I want them to do that. She said, no. So it was kind of interesting that, like, shocker.

[A]

Something that was obvious to you was not necessarily obvious to others.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I gotta tell you, the mirror is in my face all the time. So anyway, I am excited to dive in. And so let's just start off with just even using my meeting as an example. Like, when is the right time to set expectations? You know, you have a new hire, people on your team, it seems. I'm just. Obviously, it doesn't come naturally to me. So help me find out what's the best way to set expectations.

[A]

Right. Actually, I'd like to just take a step back and sort of distinguish among different kinds of expectations. Oh, sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think about it in at least three categories. One are kind of behavioral expectations, like, what are the norms? Communication preferences, how are we going to work together? And that is something that you can have a periodic conversation about. Like at the outset of a relationship, you might set some expectations, but you want to be in conversation about it and renegotiate. So the idea of negotiating expectations, I think is important one another is task expectations. So timing Content, context, quality, milestones, those are kind of task expectations and those would be set at the time of delegation or assignment of roles and responsibilities. And then that sense of like roles and responsibilities is also really an expectation. And that is something that could be baked into a role. When I'm hired, I'm hired to do A, B and C. These are expectations of me that I will fulfill these key responsibilities. But then there are always blurry lines and there's often when you're talking about sort of cross functional work, there may be overlapping areas. And so what's mine, what's yours, who has responsibility is a kind of third category. And as you can hear from those different categories, there are probably a number of inflection points at which it's useful to clarify or set expectations. And I think a lot of relationship friction is caused by mismatched expectations. Right. So if you have some ability to name an expectation and check whether that expectation is shared, that's a really important relationship skill.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm just, you know, again, I, it's all about me here. I was thinking about when you were talking about, you mentioned friction, like maybe because the meeting I'm talking about, I, I do feel some, a bit of friction about it and it is because I don't feel like I'm getting a lot contribution from others. And it does go back to, I have not, as my colleague pointed out, have not set an expectation that this is an, a shared dialogue. It's a two way street. So.

[A]

Right. And I mean, depending on what your position is relative to someone else, you might have the sort of authority to set an expectation or you might want to make a request or make your preferences or needs known and then negotiate about that. So depending on, you know, if you're leading this meeting and you have clear positional authority, people are probably actually looking to you. They might even feel that they need permission to contribute. And so that's something where you need to be kind of aware that the hierarchy that is invisible to you might be actually impeding them from making exactly the contribution you're looking for.

[B]

Yeah. Another word that stuck out to me is you said negotiate expectations. So talk about that.

[A]

Yeah. So for an example, as somebody's manager, you may come to the table with a set of expectations of what their role is, et cetera. That's fair. Now you've got a task that you need to assign to someone. Turns out their plate is already full with things that someone else has given them. So you may have, you may wish to set an expectation I need this by Friday. But then there may need to be a conversation where they explain the context on their side and they say, okay, so if I'm going to do that by Friday, then I may need to push something else off or I can't get it to you by Friday, 5 o'. Clock. But is, you know, Monday noon enough? So hopefully some conversation, much like I think I said, you know, feedback is a conversation where you're trying to share information that you would want to know from the other person. Is this going to work for them? How's it going to fit in with their workload? Similarly with behavioral expectations. Let's say I have a preference for communication by text and you have a preference for communication by slack. Okay, well what are we going to do about that? Now? If there's positional authority, one of us might be able to dictate it, but that might not be the smartest move. So I think, you know, there are so many different areas where we need to have some alignment about something. And it is to your benefit on both sides to understand that flexibility is important and that you have to have some agreement or buy in in order to make it work.

[B]

So I want to. You know, one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you again is because I feel like especially post pandemic, people are lacking some communication skills and it's very hard. People find it challenging to relate, especially in the workplace. And as you're talking about this, negotiating expectations, it strikes me that both as a leader and somebody who is on the other side of that, that having some language around how to open up these conversations would be helpful. So as a leader, and we'll take it from the other side as well, what would your advice be to, to a leader to help them create a space where there can be a conversation and negotiation around expectations?

[A]

That's a great question. And I think it really points to the need to create space. And you can do that in a number of ways. So let's think of a couple different examples. One might be I'm giving someone a task, part of their job and I'm delegating if I take adequate time with that delegation to set expectations up front and make room for the other person to ask questions. If I say, here's what I would like, ideal world, I'd like a draft by Wednesday, I need to review it and make finalized by Friday. If I want to be super warm and friendly, I could say, how does that fit in with your workload?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like I can just affirmatively ask a Question. Or I can make space and say, where would you start? Right. Like asking a few questions to sort of assess whether the person really understands what they need to do and that they have a plan going forward. So it's kind of asking a few questions and making sure that they have a little space. You can go overboard and sort of ask for permission to direct someone's work. And I think we want to steer clear of that. A weak delegation is one that just sort of says, hey, it would be nice to have this by Friday. And then the person is actually pretty unclear. Is Friday a deadline? And then you're mad when they don't give it to you on Friday because, you know, if someone said they thought it would be nice, you would just do it. Right. You would get it well by Thursday. Yeah, depending, you know, depending on the. Again, sort of authority. So I think making sure that you're clear when something is not open to negotiation and making space when it is open to negotiation.

[B]

So one thing I like to do because a lot of my work is dictated by external deadlines, like a board meeting or a court deadline or something that we really can't, you know, I don't have authority to move around. But what I try to do is to make sure the folks that are working with me know these are the deadlines that I'm working against. And I'd like our CEO to be able to review it. Or I want to have a pre meeting with some certain people. And so. And then I try to kind of problem solve together around the calendar.

[A]

That's a great approach. And what you're talking about is really making sure they understand the context and some of the why behind the request or the deadline. And that helps both with helping them just understand. And they can figure out where their work fits in in the larger picture, which is nice. People like to know that they're not just sort of a tiny little node, but they're part of something larger. But it also gives them some agency to make sure to prioritize on their own and understand the why. And people will feel like, why is someone, you know, making me go through this fire drill? I know the meeting's not until fill in the blank date because they're not thinking about those various other steps. Other steps. So that's helpful. It's also, in effect, a form of sort of training around project planning. Like what do you do? You back up from the deadline and you think of what the various milestones are. So it's part of developing their awareness as well. If you're hoping that someone may ultimately step into greater responsibility, that they get that bigger picture.

[B]

Well, I think one of the reasons I do it is because I'm somebody who resists authority just naturally. And I honestly don't want people doing things just because I've asked them to do them. I want them to have a larger context and be in it together sort of thing. Like, oh, hey, we want to put out the best work product and it's going to our board. And so we want to make sure we've gotten this input or had time to polish it or whatever. So, yeah, I'm going to give myself a gold star on that one.

[A]

Good for you. I do want to go back to a different form of negotiating expectations, and that is kind of relationship expectations. So a great time to talk about setting up a relationship is onboarding, obviously.

[B]

Yeah. It's so hard. It's so hard.

[A]

What's hard about it?

[B]

What's hard about it is for me, and this is just, again, this is all about me, Hannah, is always, always that we're already here. And if you're not new to an organization or a role, you don't see what the other people don't know. And so it can be for me, difficult to know all these different things. I need to make sure that I'm letting you know about.

[A]

Right. Well, that's sort of one model. Like, what I need to do is kind of dump all of this on you, like all the context, the things. And you know, that's just not feasible. For one thing. You're right. There's all kinds of things that are invisible to you, but it would also be overwhelming for the other person. But what you can do is set the expectation that, number one, you want to have open communication with them. If you have some clear preferences or habits. I want to have a one on one with you with this frequency. Here are the kinds of things that we'll talk about. Here are the key relationships that you need to start to build. Right. So you can do some onboarding that also helps set expectations. But it can also just be the thing that says, okay, look, three months from now, let's check in. That's an expectation setting a metric saying, here's what success looks like. You're on a learning curve for this first X period of time. Think about really building, building your familiarity with this system, meeting these people, understanding the flow, whatever that is. And then kind of here's when I expect you to be performing. Ideally, that's partly a manager's job. We Might flip to the other side which is what if your manager doesn't do any of that stuff? What if nobody takes time to onboard you and you don't know what success looks like? And there's a. I've mentioned this various places but the book the First 90 Days is a great one for if you are joining an organization, how to kind of set the terms for your own success by setting expectations around deliverables, relationships and what your learning agenda should be.

[B]

Yeah. So take more of an ownership up front. Well, let's go back on the communication side. So that was super helpful about you know, as the, as the leader, how to communicate if you are more junior. I mean and I think that there's some generational aspect of this as well. But what's some language that junior people, if they are not getting clear expectations or if the expectations feel unrealistic or unachievable, like what's some language for them to work on negotiating?

[A]

So one place to start is just initiating a conversation that says hey, I want to check in on how things are going and make it a two way street. So if you are the more junior person, depending on the type of relationship you have with the more senior person and how available they are. But oftentimes I hear, you know, they're not even making time for me, how would I ask these questions? But if you're the more junior person, it's never a bad thing to initiate a conversation with your manager where you are looking to improve your performance. So if you say, hey, I want to do a good job, I want to grow and learn and I'm having some confusion about X, Y or Z. I don't know how my work product is being received. I don't know how I measure up against expectations. I'm feeling some confusion. Try to make your request as specific as possible. So sort of a global like help me figure it out is not a strong or useful position. But figuring out like what's the thing that you really want to know about and make time. Initiate a one on one conversation and be clear about that.

[B]

Yeah, no, I would agree as a leader for I don't want people to be too. I perceive it as needy if there's. This is a question a lot of times but I would absolutely feel like somebody is really invested in their own success and the success of the team if they were to affirmatively seek out, you know, some direction and feedback around expectations in the role.

[A]

Yeah. The other thing is like if you are struggling, the worst thing to do is to try to hide it. It never works. Right. Like, if you have been given a delegation that is unclear, you don't know what you're supposed to do, and you just plug a long way and go down whatever direction seems right to you, and then hand in a piece of work where you haven't asked any questions, the chances are that you're going to get it wrong and the person is going to be frustrated. So kind of flagging early. Look, I'm unclear about this piece, or I've hit this particular impediment, or now that I get into it, I have a choice to make, and I don't know which one is correct. You want to come with some solutions mindset. And as you said, like, not just present a problem that your manager needs to solve for you, but the other end of the spectrum is just sort of soldiering away, even though you don't know what you're doing and flailing around. And that's not particularly useful either.

[B]

Well, let me. This. This gets me into the generational thinking a little bit. So I'm a Gen Xer. You know, I would describe us as the latchkey kids. No one's bringing oranges to our soccer games. You know, figure it out. And in our last episode, I think we talked about, you know, one of my early assignments as a. At a law firm. They just put a big stack of files on my desk, said, this is the client's problem. Go figure it out. And so people in my generation, and I think the expectation is that you can figure it out. It's a lot about independence. And so I think that language that you gave, in terms of framing questions and being specific about the direction and feedback, I noticed younger generations, especially the Z's, I perceive them as neat, feeling, very needy, and, you know, and. And so I want to.

[A]

No judgment there.

[B]

No judgment. Maybe there's a different word. But I do think it's helpful to. If you could share. You know, again, we come to work, we come to life with our life experience, and sort of where we are generationally is certainly a piece of that. So how does that feel, the expectation setting?

[A]

Well, first I'll say that I hear you on that experience of generational differences, and I think there's some truth to that. And it's always risky to stereotype. So I want to recognize that it's probably more helpful to treat folks as individuals than to lump them into a group. That said, part of me just wants to kind of put it back to you, Stacy, which is like, you wish they were different but they're not. Like, let's say you. If someone comes to you and they are struggling and you think they should be able to figure it out, but they need some help. Wishing won't make it so. But what you want to do is try to help them build some capacity for thinking on their own, standing on their own. And a way I like to think about it is figuring out what's the minimal scaffolding that someone needs to get a task done, and how do you over time remove that scaffolding. So, for example, if we think about the classic situational leadership model of skill and will. Right. Like, how high is someone's skill and how high is their will to do a task? Your managerial style needs to meet them rather than you expecting them to adapt to you. So you want to assess that, what do I know about this person? Have they done this task before? So are my expectations based in a wish, or are they based in something that I have some data to support? What you're describing is maybe a belief that the lack is will. Like they should just figure it out. So they don't actually have the skill to do the thing, but they should be able to figure the thing out. And if they want more direction. It sounds to me like you are identifying a will gap.

[B]

Well, I don't. I think. And again, I don't. I want to just be clear that I'm not bringing this to work myself, but I do. I do identify with sort of the figure it out generation. And maybe it's not will, but willingness. So, you know, I think that. And I. We put this in the prep stuff that, like, I think that there's a perception from folks in my generation that I shouldn't have to handhold you, I shouldn't have to step by step. So I think it is helpful to hear you to frame it in terms of scaffolding and help people who might have a more rigid mindset to think about this. A developmental path for somebody.

[A]

Yeah. So we might think about, like, just taking a coaching approach, or we could just set out a spectrum. Like, on one hand, you totally abandon someone and you just throw them in the deep end of the pool and expect them to swim.

[B]

Happen to some people, maybe on this call.

[A]

Maybe so. And on the other end, you micromanage and control them. And there's a lot of daylight between those two ends of the spectrum. And so what we might think about is, is this a person who needs to be taught how to do a task? Is this a person who needs to be given an objective and then let run with it or somewhere in between. So the first thing to do is like, if you're clear about what the task is, you give the context, you identify kind of the key points. I need it by this date. This is what it is. Then you can start by just asking, where are you going to start? Or just to make sure that you've gotten enough guidance from me, why don't you walk me through what your process will be? So I'm not telling you how to do it, but I'm validating whether or not you're taking an approach that I believe will work. So that's something short of micromanaging, because I'm making the assumption that you have

[B]

an approach that, you know.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm checking up on it. Right. So that's a form of scaffolding. And if what I hear is your step one is already kind of off the path, then I can offer a correction early on. And if I hear that you've really got a. You're like, you actually have a project plan. Cool. Like, I can just set a checkpoint. So I think taking time in the handoff of the task to ask what the person's plan is really helps with getting a sense of how much hand holding they actually need. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I like that. I like that. And you know, it is. I think we all have to be self aware of what we're bringing to conversations and what we're bringing for our own if they're unstated expectations. You know what I mean? You asked is this is my expectation that somebody just has a will not to do it or, you know, so I just wonder about that.

[A]

Yeah. What actually is coming to mind for me here is a conversation I had with a senior attorney in a law firm who's managing junior attorneys and is feeling frustrated that the work product they're getting is not matching their expectations. So we sort of went upstream to like, what does the delegation look like? Okay. They acknowledged that maybe they didn't give quite enough scaffolding. Then we went even further upstream. What's the last piece of work that they did for you and how did they do and how did you give them feedback? Oh, well, I just gave them the red line.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's pretty typical, right? It's very, very typical. And we might wish that they would have diligently reviewed that red line to understand why you made these changes. Why did you make these changes and understand that there's probably some negotiation point or whatever it is. Right. But in the real world, it's not billable, it's not gonna get done. Right. Like them taking time to review the red line is probably not gonna happen. Not realistic.

[B]

Although that's short term thinking.

[A]

It is. But whose responsibility is it to help develop long term thinking? So if I think about like, what does it mean to be an executive or a leader in an organization? Part of your job is developing people, developing and retaining talent.

[B]

Yeah, it's a big part.

[A]

And so it's not just about am I getting this brief done well and on time, or have I got this markup of the agreement. It's really how am I building resources and leverage within the firm or the organization. So everybody needs to take a little bit more long term thinking. And if you as the manager are not making time to talk someone through the why of your redline, but you're expecting them to infer the reasoning behind your red line, like, is that reasonable? Yeah. Right. And if you want the result, if you think about like, what is actually going to help someone learn and make them want to stick around and work with you again, that probably would weigh in favor of at least taking a little bit of time to walk through. Maybe not every point, but like, hey, if there were a couple of big points that someone just sort of missed the analysis on, you want to point that out to them?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if they're doing a similar task, the next time you want to say, hey, this actually looks like you might wanna look at the markup from last time because that will be helpful to you. Yeah, you might think they should figure that out, but like, let's live in the real world.

[B]

Well, and that's why again, I, and I really just encourage people to check out the other episode, episode 63, because we had a great conversation. But it does to me, leads to the expectations. Even if the partner giving the assignment, they have hidden expectations in the example that you gave that you're gonna get it right, that if I had observations or if I had corrections, you are going to have learned what those, why I made those, and then you're not gonna make the mistake again and you're gonna go back and check the other work that we did together so that you didn't make the same mistake twice.

[A]

Like all those are bottled up and they may seem quite obvious to you, they just may not be obvious to the other person. Well, and I, especially a more junior person who's, you know, hasn't been around the block a time or two.

[B]

Well, that's where I say, I think it's somewhat Generational.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you asked about how a more junior person can negotiate over expectations. And I wanted to raise one other element. You know, I said let them know early if you're having a problem. Ask questions about how to prioritize. If you've got different work streams that you're trying to manage. But there's also just like, if you have constraints in your life, you have a child or an aging parent at home where you have some responsibilities, then trying to highlight that early on is really helpful because what you don't want is to have to dash out the door when someone is expecting you to be there and they have no idea why. So, you know, if your manager or the attorney you're working for is not asking you affirmatively about your life outside of work, you might think about trying to find an opportunity to share that. And again, recognizing you have a job. There are legitimate job expectations, but if you have a personal constraint, your manager probably would want to know that and be able to plan around if needed.

[B]

Yeah, I think they'd want to know it. And they'd also want to know what your plan is for how you will still accomplish the job or get the work done. And this, this kind of gets me back to where we started, which is this seems like kind of behavioral expectations. And I want to talk a little bit about that, especially in this sort of hybrid, remote world. And it is, I think behavioral is a broad topic. It's how we communicate, how you show up, et cetera. But it can be kind of sensitive things like you need to have your camera on when we're on a zoom meeting or you can't wear a baseball hat. I mean, I. This is gonna make me sound old, but during pandemic I had some calls with high priced consultants and they're in tank tops and have a top knot on their head. I mean, it was not my expectation.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I also didn't feel empowered or that it was appropriate for me to be, you know, calling people out on that. So for those more sensitive kind of personal preferences or expectations around certain code of conduct type behavior, what are some communication tips for that?

[A]

The tank top one is a toughie, but although I do remember the era where I had a friend who worked in an organization where pantyhose were required and you were not allowed to wear open toed shoes, but slingbacks with peep toes were okay, like sort of ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Talk about micromanaging.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I digress. So one thing that I think is kind of interesting that I've Seen is for a leader to write up a user's guide to me. And that includes some self disclosure about preferences. I like this kind of communication. Here's how you can know I'm under stress. Here's the best way to raise an issue to me. Here are things I like feedback about. So it's an expectation setting. Often this is done somewhat hierarchically.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like here's I'm your manager. I want you to understand me. And also I want you to somehow accommodate my preferences. But I've also seen teams do it and share them. So there's a way of sort of saying, okay, here are. I'm an extrovert, I'm an introvert. I prefer to do things in writing. I prefer to have someone pick up the phone and call me, God forbid. And so that is, it's less expectation sharing and more. Or setting.

[B]

Get to know me more.

[A]

Get to know me. But there are elements of that that sort of set the tone for formality or informality. You know, call me by my first name or, you know, if someone chooses to share about their family or doesn't share about their family, those things all are cues to what a manager or leader might expect from you. And if they ask for that in return, great. What do you do when your boss likes to talk in person and you would prefer to email you go into your boss's office and talk in person. Right. So there's a limit to the negotiation. But if your boss at least understands that you're more comfortable in writing and that it's a. It's a developing skill for you to speak in front of a group or to have to deliver something verbally rather than in writing, then that's good for them to know what your developmental journey is.

[B]

Yeah. Well, and I. And I think then it's like we're working on this together as opposed to like, why does Hannah always just send these long emails? You know, instead of getting frustrated about

[A]

that, it also opens the door to feedback.

[B]

Yeah, the feedback. Yes. And they are so closely correlated. So I've really appreciated digging a little bit more in on the front end to that. Well, I end all episodes with the same fun question. And you did give this before, but I don't know if your taste in music has evolved. What is your pump up song?

[A]

Oh, so right now I am really enjoying Bad Bunny.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And that particular song is Tite Me Pregunto, which was part of the super bowl show, but it has few words in English that I can sing along with. That helps me but that is my current Pump up song. Awesome.

[B]

Well Hannah, thanks so much for being here. Where can people find out more about you?

[A]

They can find out more about [e-mail] and I also can be found on forbes.com Great.

[B]

Hey, before you go, if you want more content from the legal department, check out TLD Goal Getter on Substack. It's a mix of free and subscription based content to help you level up your career. That's TLD Goal Getter on Substack. Hope you check it out.