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- [00:00]
Paul Alex
Welcome to the Level up podcast. I'm your host, Paul Alex. I went from being a cop to an eight figure entrepreneur that helps average people like you and me make money every single day. I created this podcast to help you get motivated and to crush your goals. Let's win together. Remember, I have your six. Get ready to level up right now. Hey, guys, and welcome to the Level up podcast. My name is Paul Alex and today we have a special guest, okay? Our special guest. She goes by the name of Brittany Charm. Now, for all my ladies out there and even some men, you guys are having issues with dating in 2025. Well, look, Red pill, blue pill, it doesn't matter what type of pill you are. You have Brittany Charm here, who is one of the leading dating coaches in the online space. Brittany, how are you doing today?
- [00:49]
Brittany Charm
Excellent. How are you doing?
- [00:50]
Paul Alex
Good. Good. Now, if you guys don't know, Britney and I are actually married. Okay? Brittany is my wife. So when we started dating, you know, she was working for the government guys for the Department of Motor Vehicles. As you guys know, I'm former law enforcement and we're both from California. So at the end of the day, we are recent newlyweds. And, you know, when we got married, I was just like, babe, what are you trying to do besides government work? And she's like, you know what? I really try to help women, like, in the dating space because there's so many women out there trying to be boss babes and talking up and complaining about, you know, men and all that. And we always have these discussions, right? We always have these discussions about, you know, why relationships don't work, which mainly comes down to communication, comes down to, you know, people having issues. But, Brittany, for people that don't know you, okay, tell us a little bit about yourself, your background.
- [01:50]
Brittany Charm
Well, aside from working for the government, I was an HR analyst for over 10 years. So I have a really, really good, vast knowledge on how to carry yourself, how to conduct yourself in meetings, how to always be professional, and just how to be a lady, because I was forced to at an early age. I started with the state at only 20 years old. But while doing that simultaneously, I also worked and did makeup. I was a makeup artist, so I've done makeup for over 15 years. And along with that, I was a personal stylist, so fashion expert. So with those three things, you know, I've always kind of had a hold on everything as far as being successful in corporate, being successful in beauty, being successful in fashion, they all go hand in hand, especially when it Comes to putting your best foot forward, presenting yourself in dating. Because the example that you set in person should always mirror the example that you set on social media. And that's something that I've just always had down.
- [02:56]
Paul Alex
Okay, so let's go ahead and do a little Q and A. I'm going to do a little bit different style of interviewing style since I do have my wife on here, guys. Usually I go in, I ask those hard questions. I'm still going to ask some hard questions. You know, that's just the nature of the game. This is called the level up. Right? So we about to level up on this episode, right, babe?
- [03:14]
Brittany Charm
Yes, we are.
- [03:14]
Paul Alex
No, that's right. Okay, so, Brittany, question numero uno.
- [03:18]
Brittany Charm
Okay.
- [03:18]
Paul Alex
Are modern women too entitled when it comes to dating, or are men just not stepping it up?
- [03:24]
Brittany Charm
Both. So what's happening is men and women are actually not dating at their level. So they're either dating up too high or they're dating down too low. So what's happening is people have a false sense of reality because of social media. It's kind of given people, you know, it's made average people think there's something wrong with being average.
- [03:50]
Paul Alex
So let's talk about that real quick. When you say it makes the average person feel average, what do you mean by that?
- [03:57]
Brittany Charm
Well, for example, we were both nine to fivers. What's wrong with marrying another nine to fiver? What's happened is on social media, everybody sees like these yachts and this extravagant lifestyle. They feel like that's always attainable and that's the only way for happiness. That's not true. You could be happy married to a cop. You could be happy married to a lawyer. You could be happy married to a firefighter, a truck driver. It all depends on whether you guys are a match. That's essentially it.
- [04:24]
Paul Alex
So what you're saying is people, whether it's men and women, they have too high of a expectation nowadays.
- [04:31]
Brittany Charm
Yes.
- [04:32]
Paul Alex
Okay. And, you know, I. I guess like we always have this conversation. So I guess the thought process of, you know, back in the day, you know, when we were in our local towns. All right, and this is not to talk shit about townies, but it is what it is. And you move to a large metropolitan city like Miami or possibly San Diego, right now you're exposed to beautiful people. You're exposed to other people that are either high level or they live a ridiculous lifestyle. And now you have more competition. But, but I think what you're saying is now in the online space, you are open to the entire world.
- [05:15]
Brittany Charm
Right, exactly. So what's happened is that for men, it kind of sucks a little bit because now that girl who lives in that teeny, tiny town or somewhere in the Midwest, she has men from here all the way to Europe to Dubai that can try and hit on her. And so it's made the dating marketplace really, really difficult, and it's given a false sense of reality. Now the. It can affect men and it can affect women or it can't. Because guess what? Even if you aren't at the level that you want to be, you can always get yourself there. That means you need to step up your looks, get in the gym, eat better, maybe use better face products, get a dermatologist, get an esthetician. It may mean that you need more etiquette as far as experiencing new things, taking yourself out to dinner. I always tell women, date yourself first. You can't tell a guy that you want to go to Nobu or you want to go to Javier's. And you've only ever been to Sizzler. So you know what I mean? You can give yourself those experiences and expand your own horizons so that you can be in the marketplace to be with someone who's of the who's who. But you have to put yourself in that position. Just like you always tell men all the time, you know, step it up, be a family man, be traditional values. If you want to have a higher caliber woman, then you need to elevate your finances, quit living paycheck to paycheck, get a second source of income. Right?
- [06:42]
Paul Alex
Yeah, yeah, no, that, that, that makes a lot of sense. And, you know, it comes with the whole red pill, blue pill movement. And I always tell people this is like, you know, I actually know quite a few of those podcasters that do like the whole red pill, blue pill thing. And they're great guys. They're great guys. Nothing against them, but I think what, you know, they need to clarify is, you know, the people that are watching, these influencers and content creators, they're not at that stage of the game where they can just go blatantly, just go ahead and down anyone, because they haven't made it to that point in life where they've achieved greatness. Right? So, no, I totally agree. So my follow up question would be, do you, I know you teach women, okay, how to find high value men. Okay. And some men, they might go ahead and be like, what? Like, what do you mean? Because I feel like there's a lot of women in the online space essentially that you know, try to attract high value men, but they're like onlyfan creators. So is that, is that what you're doing? You're like you're teaching any type of woman how to find a high value man or what's.
- [07:53]
Brittany Charm
No.
- [07:53]
Paul Alex
Who's your avatar?
- [07:54]
Brittany Charm
My avatar is highly successful women who are sophisticated. So you know, no offense to the onlyfans girls or girls that are sex workers, but that, that's not what my aim is for because I'm kind of against the whole gold digging, sugar babying, sugar daddy thing because you know, I hate to put religion in there, but I'm a Christian and that kind of goes against my core values because I feel with any bad thing like that that you're doing, it's temporary gratification. It may feel good for right now, but guess what? Whether you're a man and you're sugar daddying, you could go broke or, or you could croak a woman. You keep going out there doing that. Your beauty only lasts for so long. Eventually in a relationship or a marriage, you have to than just your looks and sex. Can you be sitting together on a porch in the rocking chairs holding hands and talking about the good old days and laughing and talking about your accomplishments you made, not how many times you were shaking your booty on OnlyFans. So it's a very vicious cycle. So who I help are the highly successful women. The doctors, the attorneys, the self starting women, the business owners. There's so many women who own trucking companies, who own tow truck companies, who own construction companies. Maybe they, you know, they inherited it or something, their dads ran it or they're law enforcement, they're firefighters, they're highly successful women. But sometimes they don't have the femininity that they should have because they're in a job where they're forced to have to be more masculine because if they show a sign of weakness then they're not an effective leader. So I help them be able to, as we call it code switch so they can take the masculine and feminine energy and know when and where to use it. Essentially I help them do that and really tap into their femininity because most women have it. It's just they've either not gotten a chance to use it or sadly in society, you know, in the 90s, you know, we were both kids in the 90s. All those talk shows that we watched preached nothing but strong, independent women. You don't need a man, you don't need a man. Don't comb your hair, don't look good. Don't be the best you can be. You don't need a man to open the car door for you. You don't need a man to pay for dinner. So now these women are in the masculine role. And sadly, the ones who are highly successful that I deal with, they're now having to deal with men who now want to have their hot girl summer. They're the ones who are feminine. So they're like, how do I get, how do I put myself in a position to be around those masculine men and not those feminine men that I'm, I'm encountering because I'm giving off the masculine energy?
- [10:27]
Paul Alex
I mean, that makes sense. So, so two follow up questions that I have for you is I know that you just explained to us exactly like the type of woman that you actually help. Yeah, but are you telling me that like, let's say for example, you have a woman who works at Walmart, okay, when it's, it's not a high paying job, they're working retail. Are you saying they don't deserve to find love?
- [10:48]
Brittany Charm
No, they can absolutely find love. But there's levels to it. So for someone at that level, you know, with every dating element, there has to be a common ground, you know, aside from just looks and just sex. So if she is a Walmart worker, retail, maybe she can't have that CEO of that company, but she would do well with a firefighter or someone who still wants to be in the more provider role, but they have more of a common ground. That's what I'm saying. It has to be someone who can be in those social circles, but you never know that girl who is the Walmart worker or the retail worker, she may know how to level herself up and be a great client with enough potential to be able to move in and out of those circles. But when you're in the higher circles, you have to be able to communicate at the dinners, at the brunches, at the, you know, corporate meetings or the events that these types of men have. And if you're there, you can't talk about, you know, the clients that you have at Walmart. It's not a common ground.
- [11:50]
Paul Alex
So what if you got like a supermodel working at Walmart? Like you don't, you don't think a pretty girl got an advantage over somebody who's more highly successful, but let's say they're not a looker.
- [12:02]
Brittany Charm
Yes and no. Let me explain why. Because after a certain age, men want more than just looks. I'm Finding. Okay, so these higher caliber men, like they love beautiful girls for bedroom dates.
- [12:13]
Paul Alex
But what is a bedroom date?
- [12:15]
Brittany Charm
Oh, a bedroom date is pretty much a classy way of saying you're a booty call.
- [12:19]
Paul Alex
Okay, but what. So that's like basically the new, the new term now is what the kids are saying.
- [12:23]
Brittany Charm
That's what I coined. It's called bedroom date.
- [12:25]
Paul Alex
Bedroom date. Okay.
- [12:26]
Brittany Charm
It's actually worse than a booty call though, because girls who are getting bedroom dated think they're in a relationship and they're like falling for the guy, but really he has you on his roster on rotation.
- [12:36]
Paul Alex
Give us a scenario.
- [12:37]
Brittany Charm
Okay, so an example of a bedroom date would be a girl who only gets the late night calls to hang out, only gets Netflix and chill. She never gets taken to dinner. And even sometimes she's asked by him to bring, to bring dinner to him. It's not, it's not reciprocated. It's not reciprocated, but because out of desperation, because she hasn't dated anyone in months or even years, she feels like she's in a relationship when really he's just using her body like he's swiping a credit card.
- [13:08]
Paul Alex
You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of that movie Bridesmaid, you know, with that, with that, the main star. And then she's, she's over there in bed with, you know, the side dude.
- [13:19]
Brittany Charm
With the Porsche, Porsche.
- [13:21]
Paul Alex
And then he's just like, gotta go.
- [13:23]
Brittany Charm
Like, you know, that is, that is like the ultimate, like, that's the best analogy you can give. She was like the ultimate bedroom date. And it's funny as when I was younger, I used to love that movie, but now watching it, I'm sad for her because she was getting bedroom dated that whole movie and he, he, she literally had to hop over his fence when, when he told her that he was done with her for the night.
- [13:43]
Paul Alex
That's hella funny. Yeah, reminds me when I was a kid. Anyways, anyways.
- [13:48]
Brittany Charm
Oh, good.
- [13:49]
Paul Alex
That's, that's, that's why we're married, guys. Because we're able to have conversations like this. Husband and wife, right? So. Okay, now to go back to your original answer, which I like because, you know, you're articulating yourself well. And I think anybody that's listening to this, they're probably like, damn, she makes a point. But I sort of want to counter what you said about, you know, men that are looking at a woman of certain status. I feel as men, let's say, for example, we all Know that men at their prime are in their 30s.
- [14:19]
Brittany Charm
Correct.
- [14:20]
Paul Alex
That's when men develop mentally. They have. They're going to be in the best financial state majority of the time. I'm not saying all the time, guys, but majority of time they will. And then for majority of men, right. I feel like they had a disadvantage probably in their teenage years or in their 20s, trying to impress girls their age. When girls are at their peak, right. And typically, from what I recall, you know, I would have friends be like, yeah, she likes older guys. You know, even though I never had that problem. But they like older guys. And I'm like, okay. So I know I see the red pill, blue pill stuff now. And I see kids in their 20s and their teenage years and they're like, oh, girls like dudes my age, like in their 30s, in their 40s now. And I get it because it's the money, their maturity. And the younger generation thinks that guys my age are ready to settle down with them. So my question to you is if a guy has been going through it with females and let's say they weren't the best looking guy, they weren't in shape in their 20s and they're going into their 30s, and now they're ultra successful. I like to compare this to. What's that famous actor, Michael B. Jordan. Is that what his name is? Yeah, yeah, From Creed, Right? The dude. Like you remember when that host on the red carpet L'Oreal.
- [15:43]
Brittany Charm
Yeah, I felt for him for that.
- [15:45]
Paul Alex
Right. But let me explain it. So she used to pick on him in high school, used to call him a nerd. And then he's in his prime. He just did Creed, Creed 2 or whatever. She's like, hey, you know how, how does it feel to be on the top of your game as like the one of the most popular actors? Right? And he was just like, oh, it feels good. But yeah, you remember, you were talking shit, right? So I feel for like majority of the guys that are making real money, especially because we're out here in Miami and everybody got money out here.
- [16:14]
Brittany Charm
Yeah.
- [16:14]
Paul Alex
It's like, why would a guy that has suffered in his 20s and his 18s by getting alienated by, let's say beautiful women or the top tier women in their teenage years and in their 20s, go ahead and give those women now that are the same age as them the opportunity. Because to be honest, I mean, I've never had issues with women, but if I was one of these guys that was like, no disrespect, but a nerd or you know, didn't get chicks when, when they were young. Why would I give them the time of day in my 30s when I'm like, I'm ripped, I'm wealthy, I'm looking good, I'm in my top peak. I would rather want somebody that looks good look, somebody that's like fire, like in their 18 to 21. I mean, this is it is what it is. Okay, I'm keeping it real, right? Yes, fortunately for me, my wife, she's very beautiful. You know, I'm not even going to go into her age, there's no need to, but I mean, you look better than most 20 year olds anyway, so. Answer that for me.
- [17:19]
Brittany Charm
Okay, I agree with you actually. So. But let me, but let me tell you what ends up happening. So initially those guys use those girls and they have fun because they're fun. Yeah. When they first get their money, they're gonna do that. But what ends up happening is those 18 to 21 year olds have a rotation as well. So what's gonna end up happening is they get that instant gratification, they get the sex, they get all that enjoyment from those girls. But initially what's gonna happen, or eventually what's going to happen is they're going to look over in the bed and see that it's empty because that girl's on that rotation.
- [17:51]
Paul Alex
And they're lonely.
- [17:52]
Brittany Charm
And they're lonely. So they're going to realize, dang, sex is good. But I really want a warm body and someone genuine beside me to care for me, to care for me, to give me that. So yeah, they're going to do that a few years and then when it gets old, they're going to actually marry someone who is within their level. And if you notice what I, I notice, they normally marry like a nice girl from like a small town or something. A humble girl. A humble girl, absolutely.
- [18:17]
Paul Alex
But I feel like now with social media that's, that's getting harder and harder to do because like, you got to think about it like this. And this is my perspective from, from a man. Right. Is, is the fact that, you know, back in 2008, it was like. No. 2006. Damn. Getting old. 2006, when I graduated from high school, guys. Right. You know, I was in a small town and, and I was in the East Bay, you know, which is San Francisco Bay area in California. And everybody knew. Everybody.
- [18:45]
Brittany Charm
Yeah.
- [18:46]
Paul Alex
So it's just like if you were the top do, if you were top G in your high school, it doesn't mean you were top G. Across the country, right? There's always going to be somebody better than you. But now with social media, it's exposed everybody to everybody. So it's just like, how do you compete when you're not the best looking dude or gal? How do you compete when you don't have the most money, you don't live the lifestyle. And then let's say, for example, you're in a relationship right now in 2025, right? As a youngster, you know, 18, 25, even 30s, right? Because I've seen the dating team right now. It's horrible, right? And now people have to compete with the mindset of, well, I can always do better.
- [19:30]
Brittany Charm
Okay, well, this is my answer to that. The biggest thing is the A word, accountability. And it's simply you have to be accountable and know what it is that you can get and what it is that you can't get. And also be accountable that, hey, you haven't kept yourself up, maybe you're losing your hair, maybe you're starting to get a dad bod, maybe you're a girl and you got a little bit of the jelly rolls going on. It's being accountable and knowing that, hey, even though you may want something, it may not be for you. So unless you're putting in the work to get that, you need to date within your league. That's something I talk to women about all the time. Doesn't mean you have to get down to that supermodel body and get that. But you do also have to have a reality check. And no, because you're not going to be in that tip top shape physically or mentally. You need to get someone within your league.
- [20:18]
Paul Alex
So are you saying that like people's family and friends are just inflating their head?
- [20:22]
Brittany Charm
Absolutely. They're lying to them. Like, I had very honest parents. I went through an ugly duckling healing phase. Anybody that knows me from my, my small town or has even seen me on social media, I show the before pictures. You teased me about it. I was, I was emo at one point and had ugly blonde streaks that look like a raccoon. Oh my gosh, I hate thinking about it. But anyways, what did I do? I, I, I gave myself, I started giving myself makeovers at 12 years old because, like, eventually the teasing was out of control and I couldn't handle it anymore. And I'm like, I'm not gonna go through life like this and be a dork my whole life. So each year, something you always preach too, is every year you should be getting better and Better. And that's essentially what I did. And then my mom started seeing the changes in me, and she poured into me, and she was like, let me put my daughter in pageants. So my mom put me in pageants so that I can have the etiquette, the poise. I could stand up straight. I could feel confident speaking. I could feel just confident in life. Because guess what? Even in dating, you have to be confident on a date. You have to be able to articulate yourself. You can't just sit there like a mute.
- [21:26]
Paul Alex
Yeah, you're right. I mean, you got to look good. I think you perform good, and then you talk good, and you have that level of confidence, and then people, you know, they're just more intrigued. Absolutely. So, okay, with that being said, you gave yourself a makeover, you said around 12, 14, something like that.
- [21:41]
Brittany Charm
Yeah, 12.
- [21:42]
Paul Alex
Okay. So around the age of 12, you gave yourself a makeover. I mean, obviously, you. You worked for Mac for, like, 15 years. You were one of the best out of. In Cali, because, you know, it was crazy. You know, just short story, guys. Last year, we went to a friend's giving. It was a friends giving.
- [22:01]
Brittany Charm
Friends giving.
- [22:01]
Paul Alex
Yeah, Doral Beach. And then one of the guys that was there, he's also Mac artist that runs his own, like, makeup agency. And, like, he knew about Britney, and we were like, what the hell? Like, small world, right? So with that being said, what would you say is the biggest beauty mistake that women in 2025 are making that's keeping them single? Right now?
- [22:19]
Brittany Charm
They're still doing their makeup like they did in their 20s, or if they're in their 20s, they're still.
- [22:23]
Paul Alex
Oh, snap.
- [22:24]
Brittany Charm
Or if they're in their twenties, they're still doing their makeup like they did in their teens. So let me. Let me tell you. The biggest way you can tell a woman's age is by how she does her makeup. When you're really young, you wear hot pink, you wear green, you wear blue glitter, all that stuff. I did it. But guess what? As I started getting older, when I transitioned from my 20s to my 30s, you actually wear less makeup. And in Mac, we used to call it a whole lot of nothing. You wear a whole lot of nothing to look like you're not wearing a lot. Yeah, but what happens is these women are still like, I'm still gonna wear my purple eyeshadow. I'm still gonna wear my blue liner and that hot pink lip. And while that was fun and Y2K in the tens, now, it's very, like, it's scary because we're. We're going back to the traditional ways, which is what I was going to talk about later. But everything is going back, not necessarily super conservative, but to, like, a softer, gentler time. That's why we have, like, the soft girl era or what I always tease you about being you. You love quiet luxury or stealth wealth. It's very, very discreet. So if you have this loud, offensive makeup, how do you fit that narrative? Just like the housing market is doing a correction, there's going to be a correction made in the dating world and also in the mindset. We're going to start seeing people sit back down to dinner, turn off their phones, put their electronics away, and get back to being ladies and gentlemen again. So with that, yes, the biggest beauty thing is wearing too much. Not wearing, you know, a hairstyle that, that fits your. Your face, and just you're not putting your grooming up to the best standards. But it's the makeup that's. That's too much all the time. All the time.
- [24:05]
Paul Alex
Now that makes. That makes a lot of sense. Okay, so let's pivot real quick. Since we're still on the subject of, you know, people dating in 2025. Like, what is your opinion on dating apps? So with dating apps, okay, let me get a little bit specific here. What is the number one mistake based on, like, what your clients tell you? Because I. Because I know. I always like to, like, listen on the background, guys, when she's doing her client calls, and I'm like, wow, that's interesting. But what do you say is the biggest mistake you see women making in online dating? That's keeping them single.
- [24:40]
Brittany Charm
I wish I could say it was just one thing. Can I give you two?
- [24:43]
Paul Alex
Yeah, sure.
- [24:44]
Brittany Charm
Okay, so one of them being they're showing too much.
- [24:48]
Paul Alex
What do you mean by that?
- [24:49]
Brittany Charm
Like, thong shorts that are cupping the butt. Like, they're. They're. They're showing their body.
- [24:56]
Paul Alex
So. So are you saying, like, they're exposing themselves too much, like, on Instagram and Facebook and all that?
- [25:02]
Brittany Charm
Instagram, Facebook, dating apps. So what's happening is they're getting bedroom dated. Because they're only being shown in a sexual way doesn't mean you still can't show your physique. But you need to wear, like, a fitted dress, fitted slacks. You can't help it. If you're shapely and you're just wearing a dress, you can't help it. But if you're wearing something where you're scantily clad, it just. It sends the wrong Message, and it attracts the wrong type of men.
- [25:25]
Paul Alex
Got it.
- [25:26]
Brittany Charm
So that's like the biggest thing is that they're wearing the. The wrong type of thing. Or if it's not too sexy, it's too frumpy. They're not dressing for their age. So they're either dressing too old or they're dressing too young. And they look. They look silly. Kind of like how we see the guys who are still wearing the tall tees and the. And the fitted hats and the Jordans and all that stuff. They're dressed like how we. How. How you dressed in high school. Right, baby?
- [25:53]
Paul Alex
Yeah.
- [25:54]
Brittany Charm
Yeah. So it's. And then, so what I see the women still doing is they're still trying, even though apple bottoms has made a comeback. I just saw last night, their ad. You know, they're still wearing the apple bottoms, but they don't have an apple bottom anymore. Or they're, you know, they're still wearing things like that. So it's kind of ick. And then the number two thing is that they're trauma dumping on the dating apps and on social media.
- [26:18]
Paul Alex
Okay, so if I was. I mean, I know what it is because obviously you're my wife, but, like, explain it to somebody who obviously doesn't know what trauma or drama dumping is.
- [26:30]
Brittany Charm
Trauma dumping is something that can happen on a date where you talk about that you have mommy issues, you have daddy issues, you just. Your past and that you have problems. It's been 10 years since I've been on a date. Like, even if it has, like, nobody.
- [26:44]
Paul Alex
Wants to hear that.
- [26:45]
Brittany Charm
Yeah. And on top of that, like, that's not something that's going to make or break a relationship. Like, I don't need to know that.
- [26:51]
Paul Alex
It's.
- [26:51]
Brittany Charm
It's. And so what it does, though, is make it appear or make it quite evident that you have issues and nobody wants anyone with issues.
- [26:59]
Paul Alex
Yeah.
- [27:00]
Brittany Charm
Not saying we all don't have something. A little bit. Nobody spoke perfect. But you don't do all. You don't share like that on a first date. It's really gross. So it's not just happening on the first date in the interaction. It's actually happening on social media. So you'll see the men and the women on their stories. They'll. They'll record themselves crying. That's a form of trauma dumping. They'll go on there and say, you know, there are no more good men out here. There are no more good women out here. And it's like, so if I'm a woman and I see a Guy doing that, I'm like, oh, he. There's something wrong with him. He keeps picking bad women and vice versa. If you're a woman and you keep saying there's no good men out here, then it's you. Then the men are thinking, well, it's because you're not picking the right men. Why do you keep, you know, going in a circle? So that kind of thing. The other thing I. I say they do, it's. It's a form of trauma dumping is crashing out. That's when someone completely spazzes out on social media.
- [27:55]
Paul Alex
So give us an example of that.
- [27:57]
Brittany Charm
One of those would be like, you know, posting screenshots of someone talking about your breakup and then tagging the person showing yourself destroying property, just acting up and screaming. And sadly, this is. This is done constantly.
- [28:14]
Paul Alex
I don't understand how people can, like, legit just, like, record themselves acting up. Like, you got to hold the phone while you're doing this.
- [28:21]
Brittany Charm
Like.
- [28:21]
Paul Alex
Like.
- [28:21]
Brittany Charm
Like, yo.
- [28:22]
Paul Alex
Like, it's sort of like, okay, 1, 2, 3. Like, how does that even make sense? Like, come on. Like, your parents taught you better than that.
- [28:33]
Brittany Charm
And the. And the sad part about it, honestly, is they think that, like, they're getting attention because when they view their stories, they're like, oh, my gosh, 500, a thousand people or 2,000 people viewed this. I'm like, and they're laughing at you. And now they've screen recorded it. So listen to this, ladies and guys. They're now screen recording you, and they're putting it on Facebook or they're putting it on YouTube. And now you're going viral because they're laughing at you.
- [28:57]
Paul Alex
Yeah, that's wild. So, okay, now as far as dating apps go, all right, because there's so many out there, let's say we have some introverted daters that are listening to this podcast right now. Now, men and women, okay, what would be your best advice? Let's say if somebody was like, britney, I don't got time. I don't got time to, like, socialize and stuff. So these dating apps, like, I could focus, you know, the dating apps a couple hours. Like, what would you recommend is the best way to approach dating apps? And then is there any specific dating apps that you would recommend?
- [29:39]
Brittany Charm
So none of the free ones. And the reason why is a lot of those people don't realize it. It's just hookup, swinger thing. So most of the time when they're swiping left or swiping right, it's like, you know, do you want the mystery meat at Dollar Tree or do you want to get your meat from, you know, Whole Foods?
- [29:54]
Paul Alex
Right.
- [29:55]
Brittany Charm
So essentially getting like the tenders, the bumbles, all those that are free, you're, you're, you're pretty much getting the dollar tree of dating, you know, or if that's, if that's what it is that you're looking for. But if you're saying you're a high caliber woman or a high caliber man, someone who isn't willing to pay a monthly fee. Fee to invest in themselves isn't worth your time. Someone who is paying that monthly fee to invest in themselves, they're not paying to go hook up because they know they can swipe on Tinder and get that for free.
- [30:23]
Paul Alex
Right.
- [30:24]
Brittany Charm
They're actually on there to date with intention and to date with purpose. So I would say any of the paid ones, they also have ones now if you even just type in on Google for people who, they have one for women and men who make six figures and above.
- [30:37]
Paul Alex
Right?
- [30:37]
Brittany Charm
So you're making sure that you're, you know, keeping everything within your circle because once you reach a certain level financially, you normally want to date and marry within your circle. And if you look at the elite, that's what they do. They kind of keep it going and they encourage their kids to do the same thing. So that, so that, that would be the other thing. Also, if, let's say, you know, you're still scared, you don't want to invest that much, then tighten up your social media, because guess what? Even though it's not supposed to be, the biggest growing dating app is Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, even, in some ways. But it's your calling card. Your social media is your calling card. That is your ticket in for work, that is your ticket in for dating, for making business relationships and new friendships. So it's not just taking these. You know, everyone's gonna hate me for saying these ugly Android pics because I'm seeing it. It's using an iPhone. And, you know, I'm Team Brown Skin, because I'm brown skin. As you guys can tell, it's making sure you have the correct lighting. So that means if you are using an iPhone, you're attaching an LED light with a yellow tone to it so that you can actually see your complexion and your face. I just gave you guys free sauce right there and I, I charge for that.
- [31:53]
Paul Alex
I love that. I love that.
- [31:54]
Brittany Charm
Yeah.
- [31:55]
Paul Alex
So, so, Brittany, real quick, man, we're running out of time, so let's get down to this last question, and then we'll allow the audience to go ahead and you can provide your socials so then they know where to find you. And then we might do a part two, because this is a pretty good conversation, guys. I mean, man, you have so much knowledge in this field. So, okay, what do you got to say to the people that are calling you a gold digger because you're teaching women how to actually find a high value man? Okay. I mean, obviously, you put a couple reels out there. Almost teasing, you know, the broke the brokies.
- [32:40]
Brittany Charm
I did.
- [32:41]
Paul Alex
Which was pretty funny because, you know, some of those comments were, like, crazy. But how do you respond to that? Like, what is. What is your thought process?
- [32:49]
Brittany Charm
Well, I love it. I. You know, all press is good press, so I do like that. But what I will say is, I'm a traditional woman, so if. Let's just let me.
- [33:01]
Paul Alex
And when you say traditional woman, what do you mean?
- [33:03]
Brittany Charm
Let me explain, and I'll even give a little history lesson for all of us in here that'll. That'll really just reel it all in. So when I say I'm a traditional woman, I believe in traditional gender roles. That means me as a wife, I'm there to nurture. I'm there to give peace. I'm there to cook. I'm there to clean. And I'm also there to be your shoulder and your support system, because remember, the man is the head, but I'm the neck. So I have to be there to help keep everything afloat. That's my role. So with that being said, I wanted a mate. You, a husband that believes in traditional gender roles as well. So that means you're the provider you're going to protect. You're gonna do what's necessary to ensure that our family is safe and secure and that I still feel good as a woman. We still have our date nights, but we still do stuff at home. That's what I mean by traditional. So with that, and it's me carrying myself appropriately as well, because I know wherever I go, whatever I do, I'm a reflection of you. So that's why I have the ideals that I have, and that's why I can say what I say. I'm not. I'm not a gold digger. I'm not a sugar baby. Yeah, none of that stuff.
- [34:19]
Paul Alex
So. So what do you got to say to all the ladies out there that I guess are trying to be boss babes? Are they going against the grain of being a traditional woman? And that's why they're having a hard time finding a traditional man.
- [34:33]
Brittany Charm
Yes. The reason why and brief history lesson is because unfortunately we've all forgotten that what a man and a woman's role are. Especially one of my videos that as you said, went viral. As far as like dates and, and the roles and responsibilities of a date, do you remember homecoming and prom? Okay, so. Or even back then when you would, would date in high school, did you ever go and have the girl drive and, and pick you up?
- [35:00]
Paul Alex
No.
- [35:01]
Brittany Charm
What did you, what did you do?
- [35:02]
Paul Alex
I picked it up.
- [35:03]
Brittany Charm
Okay. And if it was homecoming, didn't you, or prom, didn't you get her a corsage?
- [35:08]
Paul Alex
Yeah.
- [35:08]
Brittany Charm
Okay. Even though it wasn't Ruth's Chris or Flemings or Nobu or Javier's or, you know, any of the places, let's say you were just taking her to a Cheesecake factory, which I love, by the way. Did she, did you tell her to open up her purse and go 5050 or did you pay for dinner?
- [35:27]
Paul Alex
No, I paid.
- [35:29]
Brittany Charm
I rest my case. Because traditionally, even as a young man, it's always taught to the young man, hey you, you hold out your hand for a lady, you open the door, you put a, put a corsage on her when you're going on a date. You make sure, you know, you put your jacket over her shoulders when you're, you know, when it's cold. And then you pay for dinner that you can afford at the time. So what's happened now is the role's reversed because us women were so focused on being boss babes and we were pushed education, education, education, which is great. We forgot to let men be men and men lead. And so because we forgot that men forgot too, not all men, but some of these lower frequency men forgot that what their role was. And so because all these boss babes said they can do it, they're now paying for dinner.
- [36:20]
Paul Alex
Wow.
- [36:21]
Brittany Charm
So that's what's happened. So what I, I encourage women to do because they're saying they like it. But then what happens is when they get into a long term relationship or a marriage, they end up resenting the man when the man has to ask them for money, and they end up saying, well, you're not contributing to the household. So my thing that I tell them is to just be patient, be mindful, work on your femininity and don't settle if that's not something that you can handle. If, if you know, you can't handle being with a man who's not going to treat you like a lady. And you can't like not throw it in his face later. Then you need to just be single until you can find that person.
- [36:58]
Paul Alex
Wow. Okay, that's amazing, man. We. I didn't even get to ask half my questions, guys. But with that being said, I think we're going to be doing a part two pretty soon, guys. But Brittany, where can my audience go ahead and find you?
- [37:12]
Brittany Charm
They can find me on Facebook at Brittney Charm. They can find me on Instagram. Charm, beauty and connection. If you just type it into to Google, you'll find it too. And I actually have a Facebook group called Makeup and Manners for Modern Matchmaking. It's a private Facebook group, but I allow the highly successful women to join. You just have to make sure you answer the questionnaires and put in your contact information because it's a secure, safe place just for women. That's why I asked for that information. So. So that they know it's a sisterhood. So it's meant for us women to connect and for me to provide feedback and show my experiences.
- [37:49]
Paul Alex
I love that. I love that. Guys, once again, if you are listening right now, make sure to rank us number one on Spotify. We've been top 10 for the past year. Okay. It's been phenomenal. The Level up podcast with Paul Alex. Make sure to also check us out on YouTube, guys. Make sure to follow Brittany Britney charm on IG and Facebook and that's it. I'll catch you guys on the next one. Continue to level up. Thanks for listening up to the Level up podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure to share with a family friend and everyone you know who's ready to level up. Leave a five star review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you tune in. It really helps spreading the word. And don't forget to check out officialpaulalex.com for more episodes and resources to kickstart your journey. Let's level up together.