Why High-Performing Men Secretly Feel Broken at Home — Mitchell Osmond Explains

Summary

The Level Up Podcast w/ Paul Alex

Episode Summary: Why High-Performing Men Secretly Feel Broken at Home — Mitchell Osmond Explains

Guest: Mitchell Osmond, Leadership Consultant & Host of the Dad Nation Podcast
Date: December 18, 2025

---

Main Theme & Purpose

In this candid conversation, host Paul Alex Espinoza and guest Mitchell Osmond break down why so many high-performing men struggle behind closed doors, particularly at home, even as their professional lives appear relentlessly successful. Mitchell shares his compelling personal journey—from rock bottom to thriving coach and podcast host—while offering actionable advice on leadership, owning your story, redefining success, and building both legacy and authentic connection.

The episode empowers listeners to take radical ownership of their lives, confront uncomfortable truths, and define success on their own terms—all in the pursuit of lasting health, relationships, and fulfillment beyond material measures.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mitchell Osmond’s Story—Hitting Rock Bottom

• Mitchell’s turning points (03:00–08:06):
  • The breakdown: Overweight, $100k in debt, spiraling with substances, facing marital collapse after job loss.
  • The realization: Feeling “powerful at work but powerless at home,” repeating cycles of trauma from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family background.
  • Quote:

    “I was kind of stuck with that duality of feeling like I was two different people trapped in the same body.” — Mitchell (05:30)

  • Funeral moment: At a wealthy philanthropist’s funeral, hears the minister ask, “Are you living a life worthy of imitation?” Mitchell realizes “if this was my funeral... they would have said, ‘he struggled—and then it was over.’” (06:01)
  • Decides to take radical ownership, gather a supportive, successful circle, and fully commit to self-improvement.

2. The Path Out—Debt, Fitness, and Rebuilding

• Mindset above all (12:06, 14:00):
  • “Mindset 100%.”—Mitchell (12:06)
  • Fixing internal beliefs was key, not just external habits or routines.
  • Personal example: Emotional relationship with food rooted in childhood—“When I was sad, chocolate made me feel better. I had no idea that even happened.” (15:00)
• Practicalities of paying off $100k debt (09:35):
  • Ruthless prioritization: Differentiating needs from wants.
  • Side hustles: Leveraging existing skills, working four part-time jobs, and rejecting ‘look rich, be poor’ social media culture.

3. Radical Ownership—What It Means

• Letting go of entitlement (17:41):
  • The cavalry isn’t coming; discipline must be self-created.
  • Quote:

    “No one is coming to save you. My wife is never going to grab the Netflix remote from my hand. My son’s never going to grab the smartphone from me. There’s never going to be a pack of cheerleaders at the gym parking lot at 5am cheering me on.” — Mitchell (18:29)

  • Reframing: Success is built through adversity, not waiting for things to get easier.

4. Measurable Change—Finances as Evidence

• The tangible shift (21:50):
  • Changes in finances served as concrete markers of internal growth.
  • “It was that tangible proof, it was evidence that helped me see that what I was doing was making a difference.” — Mitchell (21:50)
  • Internal growth often comes before visible external results.

5. Evolving Relationships—Navigating Family & Friends

• Shifting circles (24:02–27:41):
  • Business growth brought new standards, sometimes making old friends or family uncomfortable or unsupportive.
  • Family often wants safety, not risk—“They love you and want you to play it safe... terrible advice, but they say it because they love you.” (25:23)
  • Paul's experience reflected: “When it came down to the new level of finances for our family... I couldn’t really go to my mother anymore and say, ‘these are my multimillion dollar problems.’” — Paul (27:41)
  • Practical advice: Love family from afar, change your environment to nurture growth.

6. Mistakes High-Performing Men Make—Losing Themselves

• Burnout and self-loss (31:21–36:38):
  • Men often lose the very family or relationships they’re striving to provide for.
  • Create your own definition of success—not someone else’s, and not an unattainable, ever-moving target.
  • Cautions against “gap mentality”: Always measuring oneself against a future ideal instead of acknowledging “the gain.”
  • Quote:

    “We end up anxious and stressed out versus... looking back and celebrating where we've come from.” — Mitchell (34:01)

  • Use “success statements”—clear benchmarks for finance, marriage, health, etc.—reviewed and reevaluated annually.

7. Tactical Habits—Small Wins & Power Hour

• Power hour (38:39):
  • List three daily wins, and three planned wins for tomorrow, every night.
  • “You're priming your subconscious mind... when you wake up in the morning... you have clarity, like, instantly: ‘These are the three things I’m moving today.’” — Mitchell (39:10)
  • Cultivating gratitude must be intentional.

8. Leveling Up—First Steps for the Stuck

• On time and urgency (40:57):
  • Quote:

    “Time is the only currency that we spend without knowing the remaining balance.” — Mitchell (41:01)

  • Reclaim wasted hours from distractions and dead-end relationships.
  • Don’t go it alone—find community and mentorship:

    “The lone wolf dies alone. The strongest wolves build packs.” (43:08)

  • Coaching can radically shorten your learning curve, so seek relevant help and accountability.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was kind of stuck with that duality of feeling like I was two different people trapped in the same body.” — Mitchell (05:30)
• “Are you living a life worthy of imitation? If you were to die tomorrow, would you be proud of the legacy that you left?” — funeral minister (06:01)
• “Mindset 100%.” — Mitchell (12:06)
• “No one is coming to save you... the cavalry is not coming.” — Mitchell (18:29)
• “If you like where you're at, then that’s great. Keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want to be somewhere else, you need to learn how to make different decisions.” — Mitchell (20:34)
• “Time is the only currency that we spend without knowing the remaining balance.” — Mitchell (41:01)
• “The lone wolf dies alone. The strongest wolves build packs.” — Mitchell (43:08)
• “You have to kill your old self in order to become your new self.” — Paul (16:32)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Mitchell’s Personal Story & Funeral Realization: 03:00–08:06
• Getting Out of Debt & Rebuilding: 09:35–11:02
• Mindset Overhaul and Emotional Roots: 12:06–16:32
• Radical Ownership Explained: 17:41–21:05
• Finances as a Marker of Progress: 21:50–22:52
• Relationship Change/Familial Tension: 24:02–27:41
• Burnout & Redefining Success: 31:21–36:38
• Daily Power Hour (Wins & Planning): 38:39–40:02
• First Steps for the Stuck—On Time, Mentorship, Community: 40:57–44:08
• Free Resource for Listeners/Closing Advice: 45:49–49:06

---

Final Takeaways / Action Steps

• Examine your beliefs—often your key to transformation lurks beneath habitual thoughts rooted in childhood.
• Take radical ownership: no savior is coming, and discipline is not a gift; it’s forged with decisions.
• Define success for yourself—holistically, not just in dollars or titles.
• Track small wins daily; gratitude and clarity are both practice and mindset.
• Choose your circle intentionally; your tribe will either elevate or restrain you.
• If stuck, reclaim your time, seek out community and mentorship, and don’t believe you must do it alone.
• Remember: Your story and how you show up—especially as a man, father, or husband—matters deeply for shaping your legacy.

---

Resources & Further Connection

• Free Gift: "Connection Code—50 Questions to Spark Fun and Fire" at dadnationcode.com
• Mitchell Osmond:
  • Dad Nation Podcast (Top 5% globally)
  • Instagram: @dadnationco
• Paul Alex Espinoza:
  • Instagram: @PaulAlex

---

“You matter. What you do matters... How you show up as a man in this world... is significant. You are capable of so much more than you even understand right now.” — Mitchell (48:11)

---

This episode is a must-hear for anyone looking to break cycles, cultivate inner strength, and build a legacy grounded in both achievement and authentic connection.

Transcript

[A]

Experience a membership that backs what you're building with American Express Business platinum, unlock over $3,500 in business and travel value annually with statement credits on select purchases from brands like Dell, Hilton and Adobe and other benefits. American Express Business Platinum. There's nothing like it. Based on total potential value of statement credits on select purchases and other benefits, enrollments required monthly and other limits and terms apply. Learn [e-mail].

[B]

Our Life Today is the result of the decisions we've made over the past three to five years.

[A]

My mindset is completely different than where it was five years ago and this is the reason why I've been able to build what I build now.

[B]

I was headed for more depression, more drugs, more alcohol. So right there I made a decision to take ownership over everything. I gathered five men around me who were seeing success in the areas that I wanted to. And Paul, within 18 months, completely paid off the hundred grand of debt, totally restored our marriage. I lost the £60. As the business grew, my goals changed. What I believed was possible for me began to increase.

[A]

When it came down to the new level of finances for our family, our family will actually hold us down, especially when you are essentially the bloodline breaker. So when it came down to it, I couldn't really go to my mother anymore and say, hey mom, these are my multimillion dollar problems. Hey guys and welcome back to Level Up Podcast. This is Paul, Alex and today inside of our virtual actual podcast is the first episode out of Puerto Rico. Guys. We have a special guest by the name of Mitchell Osmond. Mitchell Osman is a leadership consultant, executive coach and the host of the dad Nation podcast which is actually top five globally with 33,000 listeners, which is pretty badass. Okay, That's a great accomplishment, man. With 15 years in senior leaderships, he's equipped high performing men to thrive at home in their health and their happiness, which is important. Guys, you got to be successful in all aspects of life, right?

[B]

We.

[A]

While amplifying their career success through coaching courses and his podcast, Mitchell helps men master the mindset, build strong marriages and lead with confidence. A sought out speaker and thought leader, he shares insights on leadership, marriage and high performance habits. His mission? Empower men to lead with purpose, win in every arena and leave a legacy that endures. Guys, Mitchell, welcome to the show, brother.

[B]

Thank you so much for having me on the show today, man. I'm looking forward to this conversation.

[A]

No, dude, it's gonna be good man. You know we always love speaking with thought leaders, especially when it comes to mental health. You know, as far as the, the podcast goes, it is a self help podcast. That's how we started roughly two years ago. And now, now we're here. People need it, dude. People need the help, right?

[B]

100.

[A]

All right, Mitchell, so let's dive into it, brother. So you've built a powerful brand about leadership and fatherhood. But take us back, man. What was life? All this success?

[B]

Yeah, dude. And I think that's a great place to start because I think a lot of people can make the mistake of listening to podcasts like this and thinking, well, these people have it all figured out. Well, they don't necessarily understand where I'm at and they begin to tell themselves lies. But let me be the first to tell you that I've made every mistake in the book and I've learned every lesson the hardest way. And so for me, there were two pivotal turning points. For me, that really kind of was my rock bottom. You know, the first point for me was it was a fight. The second one was a funeral. The first one, the fight, if you want a picture, it was me and my wife. We were in the living room, we were sitting on the couch, and we just had a blow up. Now, we had been married for about three years, and it was three years of struggling at this point. But this day, this fight, was our rock bottom. And we fought all the time. But I knew this one was different. That I knew that if I didn't, I knew that deep down, if I didn' I was about to lose my wife and we were on the verge of divorce. I was on the verge of losing everything. And now, to back it up a little bit, Paul, like, I had recently been let go of a senior leadership position. And as men, especially as high performers, you know, our careers mean everything to us. It's our identity, it's our calling, you know. And so I spiraled, man. I was 60 pounds overweight, I was 100 grand in debt. I was medicating with drugs and alcohol, just trying to, you know, cope. And now I was dangerously close to losing everything, losing my wife. And this was the challenge, man. I had seen success in growing organizations and being an entrepreneur, leading board meetings, but yet why? Like, I had a great life professionally, but why was it I couldn't figure out my life personally? You know, it was this. This duality of feeling powerful at work but powerless at home. And so I'm a textbook situation, man. Where I grew up, you know, alcoholic father came from a dysfunctional upbringing. Drugs, alcohol, crime were in the home growing up. And I knew what trajectory I was on. I knew that I was destined to do something different. But I just couldn't seem to break that cycle, man. I kept getting sucked into mistakes that my father had made and his father had made. And when I would yell at my wife, I could hear his words, I could hear his voice in mine, and it was brutal, man. And so I. I was kind of stuck with that duality of feeling like I was two different people trapped in the same body. And the second point, the turning point for me was literally seven days later, after I had this blow up, me and my wife still weren't talking. I was asked to sing at the funeral of this wealthy man. He was a philanthropist. And I was getting ready to sing the last song, side stage. It was a couple thousand people. It was a big funeral. And I overheard the minister say. He said, are you living a life worthy of imitation? If you were to die tomorrow, would you be proud of the legacy that you left? And Paul, man, as I began to try and sing out the lyrics of the last song, I could barely choke out the lyrics because all I could think was, if this was my funeral, nobody would be saying, he inspired me to have an amazing marriage, or he inspired me to get in shape, or he inspired me to, you know, get my finances in order. At that point, they would have probably said he struggled. And then it was over, you know? And so I was faced with this visceral vision of where I was headed. I was headed for, you know, more depression, more drugs, more alcohol, you name it. And so right there and then, man, I took. I made a decision to take ownership over everything, you know, no more lies, no more victim, no more, you know, BS mentality, and I was going to own it all. And so I gathered five men around me, five men who, strategically, I reached out to, who were seeing success in the areas that I wanted to. And Paul, within 18 months, completely paid off the 100 grand of debt, totally restored our marriage. I lost the 60 pounds, built a lean, strong body, and was finally clean of substances and distractions, man. And that was the journey. And because I was in leadership positions, I. Everyone started asking questions like, how did you lose the weight? How did you turn it all around? And then I started helping friends in my life, just buddies of mine, building budgets, getting out of debt, reconnecting with their wives. And a mentor of mine challenged me. And he said, man, if you really want to have an impact, you need to start a podcast. You need to start if you really want to turn that trash into Treasure, you want to share your story with the world and help other men do the same. And so I launched the dad Nation podcast and within six months, we became top 10% podcast in the world and then launched a coaching practice. Because I have men messaging me from all around the world saying, man, could you help me too? And so then I launched the coaching practice within six months. That was a six figure coaching practice. And, dude, at the end of the day, that's all I do. You know, I heard Ed Milette say, you are the most qualified to help the person you used to be. And so that was me. And I help men just like me every single day. So that's my story, man. And that's how I got here, man.

[A]

That's. That's powerful, Mitchell. I. I love that, man. Let's get into specifics. How old were you when you were going through these tragic events, man?

[B]

I would have been 32 when it all hit the fan. Got married at 29. And that was the problem, man, is my past just kept bleeding into my present, right? That the unhealed pain and the trauma from my childhood kept bleeding out into my marriage and my wife, and she was paying the price. So, yeah, I was about 32.

[A]

Yeah, I'm a. I'm a big believer, man. You know, people always say, like, hey, I'm going to be stuck in my environment. Hey, I'm going to be. I can never change myself. You can change yourself. If you change your environment, you change to what you listen to. Change who you want to be, like, right? So at the end of the day, man, I could relate so much to you because around the age of 28, 29, that's when life hit me and I was just like, dude, what am I doing working 80 to 100 hour work weeks? Why am I lost in the sauce, right? I got to go ahead and fix myself, man. And a lot of people, they don't let their pride, they let their pride go ahead and stand in front of them, right? But you gotta. You gotta realize who you are and you gotta realize that, hey, I got. I got problems, man. I gotta fix it, right? Find solutions. So how were you able to get out of $100,000 in debt, brother? Because I know there's a lot of people out there. They're like, man, I'm trying to start a business, but I can't find funds, right? But here you got out of $100,000 in debt, so how'd you do it?

[B]

Yeah, man, the biggest thing that I, the biggest principle I applied Was learning how to say no. Learning how to say no to the things, you know, the needs versus the wants. You know, this, this, Amazon purchased this, going out, this vacation, whatever. Is this a need or is it a want right now? You know, Abraham Lincoln said, discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want now. You know, something like that. And so for me, what I wanted most was financial peace. And so I started side hustles, man, and I looked at some of my skills and were like, what is the most, what was most monetizable skill I have? And I just started grinding, dude. I launched, I was a musician and so I launched a music studio, I started teaching lesson. I was working four part time jobs, man, busting it and, and then saying no to a lot of those things until I could get out of debt. And then I had that conversation, okay, now how do we double down on what we're doing? And so that was, that was my journey, man. We were just, I think a lot of people in this world today, they want both, they want this lavish lifestyle without having to put in the work to build a business or whatever. And so they do both. They try and look like a baller, but they don't have the income to support it. And then they find themselves in a whole world of debt, right?

[A]

Facts, facts. Especially now with like social media going on, people trying to keep up with the Joneses. I know I'm aging myself by saying that, but it's the truth, guys. It's just like you, you're trying to fake it to make it. And you know, Nowadays, especially in 2025, we're in a trust era now. You being a coach, you being in the digital space, you know how it is, brother. People are like, hey, are you a scam? How can I scam you from personal experience, right? I'm trying to help level you up, right? So at the end of the day, man, I always tell the people that are going to continue to rise in this world, especially in the digital world, it doesn't even matter what AI. I'm not afraid of AI because AI can't replace myself. AI can't replace Mitchell Osman, right? All the pain, all the experience, you know, all that jazz. So let me ask you this question, man, this is deep because a lot of people, they can't navigate through rebuilding themselves, right? It takes a lot of effort. So when you first started rebuilding yourself, when you went through these critical incidents, what part of your life did you work on first? Was it like your business? Was it your body or was Your mindset?

[B]

Yeah, that's a great question. Mindset 100%.

[A]

I've spoken to hundreds of entrepreneurs and one thing I consistently see them struggle with is their sales process. It's a total mess. A bunch of scattered information spread across tools and systems with no clear view of what's moving. That's where today's sponsor, pipedrive comes in. The number one CRM tool for small to medium businesses, pipedrive brings your entire sales process in one simple centralized space, giving you guys a crystal clear, complete view of the sales process and customer information. So use in control and close more deals faster, guys. Teams are using pipedrive to close an average of three times more deals per month. Every team does things a little differently and I love that you can fully customize pipedrive to fit my team's unique sales process and strategy. And we can all work from one platform. It all centers around the visual sales pipeline where you can see every single deal, what stage they're in and what needs to happen next. Since everything is in one platform, pipedrive makes it easy to unite your team, keep track of sales tasks and stay on top of your leads. It's so powerful. Powerful. It's a simple CRM built by salespeople for salespeople. So join the over 100,000 companies already using Pipedrive right now. When you use my link, you'll get a 30 day free trial. No credit card or payment needed. Guys, just head over to pipedrive.com forward/level up to get started. That's pipedrive.com forward/LevelUp and you can be up and running within minutes. Meet the computer you can talk to with Copilot on Windows.

[B]

Working, creating and collaborating is as easy as talking.

[A]

Got writer's block? Share your screen with Copilot Vision to help spark inspiration and use Copilot voice.

[B]

To have a conversation and brainstorm ideas.

[A]

Or maybe you need some tech help with Copilot Vision. Copilot sees what you see. Let Copilot talk you through step by step guidance so you can master new apps, games and skills faster.

[B]

Try [e-mail] copilot and it all comes down to mindset. Anyone who's done the deep work understands that, you know, trying to trying to get a meal plan and get a six pack. If you don't deal with your emotional relationship with food or if you try and be the best husband in the world, but you don't deal with these sabotaging impulses that you have because of past, you know, relationships, these are all just going to be band aids that you're trying to stretch over a gaping wound. And so at the end of the day, what we need to do is go way deeper into the surface. We know, Paul. We know that 80% of the way we see ourselves and the way we see the world is shaped before we're 12 years old. That's why we have to look to the past, to see where. Where we went wrong, where our limiting beliefs come from. And that. That was the problem, man. It was, for example, in my fitness. Yeah, I was. I was. I was £240, and I'm a short guy. I'm not that tall. So I was heavy, and I was training five, six times a week, but I was eating like a slob. Because here's a crazy thing. I had this crazy emotional attachment to food, and I didn't understand why. But as I hired coaches and began to do the deep work, I was brought back to a time in my life when I was in elementary school, and I would get bullied a lot. And so when I come home from school, my mom would say, did you have another bad day again? And I say, yeah. And she'd say, well, here's a cookie to help you feel better. And then, boom. What I understood then was when I'm. When I'm sad, chocolate makes me feel better. When I'm mad, when I'm frustrated, when I'm happy, when I'm irritated, food makes me feel better. I had no idea that even happened. And when I grew up as a grown man, all of a sudden I'm realizing I still have that bond with food that was formed when I was seven years old, Right? And so it wasn't enough for me to have a workout plan, and I hired trainer after trainer, but I had to break that. And that's a mindset piece. And I could tell you story after story of limiting beliefs that I struggled with or just different things that I carry from my childhood that continue to limit and sabotage me in my future. So, for me, man, the game is mindset. Always first.

[A]

I love that, and that's powerful. I agree with you 100% of the time, man. And, you know, through my experience now being in a very similar industry as you, starting the coaching space in 2020, talking to tens of thousands of people and them wanting the success, right? But then when you go ahead and you challenge them and you ask them, okay, what are you willing to give up in order to reach that success? Right? I always have this saying, you have to kill your old self in order to become that your new self. So. So for a lot of people, they're not willing to go ahead and make those sacrifices. And I'm like, okay, is it that you really want this one goal or is it that you just want it for now? Right. So I love, I love what you're saying when it comes to mindset, because everything is mindset, brother. Whether, say, you could do it or whether you say you can't do it, you are correct. Right?

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That's it. That's it. So upon doing some research on you, brother, you know, I've seen that you've mentioned radical ownership before. Okay, so for someone hearing that for the first time, what does that actually mean in real life?

[B]

Yeah, man. That means letting go of this sense of entitlement that one day, God, the universe is just going to give you what you want. Right. I'm a millennial. We are plagued with this, like, entitlement of, like. And I don't know if it was because we all started getting, you know, participants participation ribbons and sports when we were kids, but it's like, we all think we deserve a prize. David Data in. In this book, the Way of the Superior man, he calls it the great masculine error, is that one day it's all going to make sense. One day it's going to be easy, that you're just going to wake up and be disciplined, that you're just going to wake up and have a lot of money or have a great marriage. But the reality is the Calvary is not coming. No one is coming to save you. My wife is never going to grab the Netflix remote from my hand. My son's never going to grab the smartphone from me. There's never going to be a pack of cheerleaders at the gym parking lot at 5am cheering me on. You know what I mean? And the moment I learned to let go of that expectation and embrace the fact that I must own this, no one else. And it will never actually be easy to believe that is to believe a fallacy that it will always be difficult. And perhaps that's always been the point, because we were designed to face adversity, especially as men. We were designed to build, to conquer, to drive. You know, that's actually part of our masculine essence. That's where we get our sense of purpose from, is building something. But the problem is, is we get sabotaged because we think that it should be easy. And so when we start to face adversity, we give up or we back off, when that's actually the sign that you need to double down. And so taking ownership is saying exactly that. That not my friends, not my family, not my wife, not my kids. No one is going to do whatever this is I need to do. It's only me who's going to do this. And whether it's a goal in your fitness, a goal in your marriage, a goal in your finances, and a goal. I don't care what it is. It's all on you. Right? It's all on me and my life. You know, for me, when I was faced with the honest truth of where I was heading, when that minister asked that question, are you living a life worthy of imitation? I was forced to see the end. And I realized no one would want the life that I'm. No one would. Would want to imitate my life. And you know what I got? I created that life. You know, we know that our life today is the result of the decisions we've made over the past three to five years. When I think about the decisions that I was making in 2022 or 2020, it makes total sense as to where I am today. And as I tell guys, I tell clients this all the time. It's like, well, if you like where you're at, then that's great. Keep doing what you're doing. But if you want to be somewhere else, you need to learn how to make different decisions and learn how to elevate your thinking to be somewhere else in three to five years. And you're the only person going to do that. Anything other than that is Einstein's old definition of insanity, which is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Right. So that's what it looks like for me for ownership. And all my clients would echo the same thing, and that's how we get results, is we take ownership.

[A]

I love that. I love that. And when you started owning everything, okay, you started taking that ownership, what was the first big result that you actually started noticing? You know, for me, once I really started getting financially better in my life, I started analyzing and reflecting and saying, okay, what is it that I changed in order to get to this level? And what do I have to change to get to the next level? So the finances is what ultimately helped me realize how internally I changed. But for you, Mitchell, what did you notice internally that you changed or financially first?

[B]

Oh, that's a good question. I think. I think seeing the improvement in my finances was a. Was a tangible, measurable data point that showed me that something was changing. Right. Because I was losing weight and, yeah, my. My relationship was getting Better and all those different things. And I got mentors in my life. But again, it's hard to measure your. The development of your mental health. You know, it's hard to measure the. Where you are with your wife and your relationship. You know, it's, it's intangible. But when you got X number in the bank versus six months ago, you know, that's really easy to see. And so it was that. It was that tangible proof, it was evidence that helped me see that what I was doing was making a difference. And then that gave me confidence to continue in all the other areas of my life. Does that make sense?

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, it makes sense, man. I mean, like you're saying it's. It's probably the, the simplest and easiest change to see for yourself and for anyone out there, right? Because even though we lose weight, like I was on a weight journey earlier this year where I lost close to 50 pounds, right? I was very similar on your, on your weight, on your weight that you mentioned earlier. And, and I dropped in. I dramatically like my physical change. But see, it wasn't until people actually told me, right, because we don't see those change. I mean, we see each other in the mirror every single day. And the finances is definitely what allowed me to see, like, okay, wow, like, this has never happened before. What did I do different? So I had to reflect back on the actions and see, okay, cool. My mindset is completely different than where it was five years ago. And this is the reason why I've been able to build what I've built now. Right? And we'll continue to build. So that makes a lot of sense, man. Okay, so as your life started to improve, all right, how did your relationship and family life actually change along with your business growth?

[B]

Yeah, that's a good question. It's so funny. And I think not a lot of people talk about this, but as the business grew, my goals changed. As the, as the business grew, as the finances grew, my. What I. What I believed was possible for me began to increase. The things that I, the hunger that I had begin to increase, my self confidence began to increase, you know, and that had a great effect on my marriage because my wife was, was living it with me, so she could see it. But here's what a lot of people don't talk about is your extended family or your other friends at that level, what begins to happen, because what happens, and it's not popular, but what happens is you change and you start to elevate and you start to hold yourself to A higher stand, higher standard than what you used to. You start to have different conversations and you start not necessarily wanting to talk about the same old trash that you used to. Now you're looking for a sense of purpose and meaning in every relationship. When you used to show up as a 6, now you're showing up as a 10. And what happens is people around you start to get uncomfortable because, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're different. You've changed. And what they don't really say, but what really is going on on the inside is you're going after your dreams. And I can see that you're accelerating. And it makes me uncomfortable because it's a reminder that I'm not stepping up. And you know what? That doesn't align with my current level of thinking, my current. The way I see the world, the way I see myself. And you start to get this social tension and where you kind of have to make a choice, will I stay with this tribe that I was in or will I elevate? And I'm saying ditch the tribe, but elevate and bring new people in or form a new tribe and then still maintain some of those relationships. But we got to understand that just by virtue of elevating wherever you're at financially in your relationships and your fitness and your business, you will change. Your thoughts will change, your attitude will change, your energy will change, your tenacity will change. And it's going to make people uncomfortable. And your family might even give you advice, but this isn't popular advice as well. But I tell people all the time, your family doesn't always give you the best advice because they love you. And if they love you, what they want you to do is play it safe. They don't want you to take risks. They don't want you to take chances. They don't want you to back yourself in that way because it could go wrong. Stay where you're at. Good is good. It should be good enough. Why can't you be happy? That's terrible advice, right? But they say it because they love you. And so what I tell guys all the time is like, hey, as we level up, we got to anticipate this happening and understand how we're going to navigate it. Because that is the thing that keeps people pulled down. That's why we call crabs in a bucket, right? Crabs are reaching up, pulling the crab back down. And this is what happens if we're not careful. We can't handle that tension because we're tribal and we want to belong. And the Second we start elevating, we're like, whoa, I don't like this either. People, people don't want to be around me as much, so I'm just gonna turn it back down to where I was and stay at this level. Does that make sense? So those were some things that happened in my life that I had to sort of work through.

[A]

I totally agree. When I had made my first six figures online back in 2021, dude, it was like March of 2021, I was still a cop in Oakland, California. I remember going to my mother because I'm very close to my mother. And I had told her, I was like, mom, look, you know, I started a second side hustle online, educating people on what I'm doing to be financially free as a nine to fiver, right? A blue collar guy. And you know, she didn't understand the online game. She doesn't understand business. I don't come from, you know, entrepreneurs, man. My mom is an immigrant. She came to the States and built her version of the American dream, which I respect. But when it came down to the new level of finances for our family, she just was scared. And I agree with you when you said our family will actually, actually hold us down. Especially when you are essentially the bloodline breaker or you are that one. Just like what Emma let says, you're the one right in, in the family that can change generational wealth for your family, right? So, so when it came down to it, I couldn't really go to my mother anymore and say, hey mom, these are my multi million dollar problems, right? And that's where like, you essentially have to get a coach, you have to get a mentor, you have to level up your environment. And that's why in the past five years, guys, I've moved from San Diego to Miami, now to Puerto Rico. But I've changed my circle and my circle gets smaller and smaller. But it's because with every new level, there's a new devil, right? So the same people that helped you to get to a million can help you get to 10 million. And it's vice versa, right? So at the end of the day, I agree with everything that you say, Mitchell. You know, just be careful with who you guys listen to. There, there is such thing, especially if you guys are close to your family. There's, there's a saying that I always say, just love them from afar. Love them from afar. That's it. You can still take care of them, you can still go ahead and visit them on the holidays, but it doesn't mean you have to interact with them every day because what you listen to, what you see, your environment every day can greatly cause an effect in your life. So, Mitchell, I love the fact that you help men become successful in all aspects of life. So my next question would be many men chase but lose themselves. Even. Even myself. Dude, I've lost myself in building businesses before back in 2024. And many men, they lose themselves or their families in the process. Okay. How did you learn to lead not only at home and in business without burning out again?

[B]

Tis the season to cozy up with all your favorite holiday movies and shows.

[A]

You coming where to? The North Pole, of course, Like a.

[B]

Very Jonas Christmas movie and Home Alone on Disney.

[A]

Should I burn down? I don't think so.

[B]

Then snuggle up with the Polar Express and National Lampoon's Christmas vacation with Hulu on Disney plus.

[A]

I think we're all in for a very big Christmas treat this season.

[B]

There's something for everyone with Hulu on Disney plus bundle subscription required charms apply. Visit disneyplus.com hulu for details.

[A]

Steve Cubine and Nan McNamara's podcast From Beneath the Hollywood sign, he pulls out.

[B]

A box and gives McAllister a ring.

[A]

Saying, here's something that Remember me by Daryl Zanuck.

[B]

Hit the roof.

[A]

Mary Aster has been keeping a diary. This torrid affair with George S. Kaufman is chronicled on a daily basis, talking about the actors and actresses who won an Oscar on their very first film. Get your fix of old Hollywood on.

[B]

The podcast From Beneath the Hollywood Sign. Yeah, man, that's, that's so such an important question because I think we lose sight, like you said, we lose sight of the important things. And here's the thing, man, we are, especially as men, you know, this is the case for women, too. But as men, you know, when we think about the masculine essence, the thing that makes us men, that the drivers of our masculinity are things like accomplishments, excellence, having a sense of purpose, you know, being on mission, you know, building things. That's why when you look at the. When you look at any super bowl party, you see all the men gathered around the TV watching the athletes watching the game because we're drawn to athletes like a moth to a flame because they're the best in the world at what they do. They've got a clear mission, they're doing something great. They're excellent, right? And we see the women usually standing around the island or the snacks, connecting with one another, nurturing relationships, because that's how they're wired. Is by intuition, by emotion, by nurturing one another. And so for men, this is actually how we're wired. And so if we're not careful, though, we can go too far. And the great irony for a lot of the men that I work with is they spend their life trying to give some life to their family, but they end up losing the family they were trying so hard to provide for because they got so laser focused. And that's a great thing, but when it's taken too far, it's a weakness. Right? And so the biggest thing that I would maybe advise your listeners to work through is to create your own definition of success. Right? Because what happens is. And this. And I read a book a couple years ago called the Gap and the gain by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Phenomenal book, but he talks a lot about how we fall into this trap of always thinking in the future and like defining ourselves by some undefined measure of success, something that is hypothetical. We stretch and we strive and we don't even know what we're shooting for and we end up anxious and stressed out versus, and that's the gap mindset versus the gain of looking back and celebrating where we've come from. You know, I've gotten out of debt, my relationship is better, I've lost 30 pounds, whatever. Here's the thing though, either way, you're going to get to the future. The question is, is what version of you gets there? The one who's stressed out, living in the Gap all the time, being obsessed about what he hasn't done yet, or the guy who gets there by celebrating every victory, looking back as to where he's come from. And so how we can get out of that trap is simply by creating what I would call success statements of like, I know I will be, I'll know I'm being successful when, I'll know I'm being successful when. Right? Because what we need to do is define that for ourselves because other people are constantly defining success for us. Instagram, the neighbor, you know, our father in law, our brother who's, you know, got the boat and got the, you know, car, got the whatever. And so we start going after goals that don't even make sense for us and we lose, we lose track of everything around us. But like our family and our kids and all those things. And so for example, for me, that's what I did, you know, and that's what a lot of my clients do. And we hold ourselves to that standard. So if you're listening today, and maybe, you know, it's a Financial thing, I'll know I'm being successful when I can live for six months without working on passive income, you know, or I'll know, maybe if it's a marriage thing, I'll know I'm being successful when I can go seven days without snapping at my wife and kids. You know, I'll know I'm being successful when I can go two weeks without binge eating. Right? You fill in the blank. Whatever success looks like for you, write it out, print it off, tape it on your wall. I don't care. Put it in your journal, revisit it every month, and be like, am I still being successful according to my standards of success? And you need to consider not just the financial goals, but also the goals in your relationships, the goals, and your spiritual health, your mental health, and all those things. And basically, you cover those five areas with those success statements and hold yourself to those standards. And the thing is, is, you know, every year I go through those and I increase them. Right? And that's the thing, because you always want to get to the next level. Again, going back to our masculinity, how do we now, okay, this was success this year, okay, for 2026, what does success look like? And it should look different because we're not supposed to stay the same, right? That's the whole point of the game. Does that make sense? That's a real practical tip you could do.

[A]

I love that, man. It's equivalent to, you know, when I tell anyone I'm trying to help about small wins. You know, I had a. I had joined many different masterminds, but one of the best ones I've joined was actually Russell Brunson's mastermind. And I remember Russ at one of the actual meetings in Idaho, he had mentioned, hey, guys, you know, it's very easy to get burnt out as an entrepreneur, especially when it's all about hitting your quotas on a monthly basis or year after year. You know, you could be going ahead and business is steady, it's growing, you're winning. And for a lot of entrepreneurs, they get jaded to it, right? It's like you want to chase that high that you initially got when you first reached success or what you thought was success, right? And you're always trying to beat that high, but you'll never get to it, right? So. So for me, that's exactly what had happened. I was just like, dude, after like, two, three years, I almost got burnt out, right? Lost myself in the sauce, man. And what I had to go ahead and actually do Is I have to do a lot of reflection. Even on a daily basis. I still do, like, daily, right? I have to remind myself, like, number one, you know, look at how far you've gone. You, you've came from five years ago or even last year. Look at the progression. What have you done this year, right? And think of positive things. Don't think of at things. Because at the end of the day, this is one thing that I always tell people. It could always be worse, man. You know, you got two hands, two feet, Good. There's a lot of people that don't. Right? You got a family that loves you.

[B]

Good.

[A]

There's a lot of people that don't. You got kids, Good. There's a lot of people that can't have kids. So at the end of the day, it could always be worse. So I love that, man. I love that you. You have those, those milestones on those wins, because I think it's very important. You know, it helps a lot with mindset, right?

[B]

Well, and another quick one, too, is something I call the power hour. And it's real simple. I mean, a lot of guys, you know, we're busy and, you know, especially if you got kids, you know, you put down the kids, you just got a few minutes before you starting to get gassed, you're getting ready for bed. And every single night, all I do, man, is I write three wins from the day, three things that I move forward. And then I write three wins that I'm going to get after tomorrow. And what that does is it helps me cultivate this, you know, gratitude when I, as I reflect over my life, because that is a skill that needs to be cultivated. You're not naturally grateful, you're not naturally joyful. And so that is one thing that helps you see the wins every single day, but then also listing out the things you want to move forward tomorrow. And even if it's just three, that's all you need. And then what happens is you're priming your subconscious mind to go to work as you. I'm sure you know all about this, you know, while you sleep. Because when you go to sleep, man, the gatekeeper to your subconscious mind opens up. And then you start formulating thoughts about how to get those things. And so when you wake up in the morning, not only have you all your brain been thinking through solutions, you have clarity. Like, instantly, you're like, these are the three things I'm moving today. And so it's a beautiful way before you go to sleep to practice gratitude and to Stay focused and prepare for the next day.

[A]

I love that. I love that. That's. That that goes great. It actually goes great into time management, right, because you're already thinking ahead of the day. You're thinking of like, hey, what I gotta do first thing in the morning. All right, cool. Let me go ahead and knock that out as soon as I wake up. That way you guys don't even have to think, right? How many of you guys wake up and you're like, don't talk to me unless I have some coffee, right? Well, go ahead and plan the night before so then you guys can dream about it. You wake up and guess what? Imperfect action. Make it happen, guys. Right? So, Mitchell, this is the level up. So some words of advice to help the audience actually level up in 2025. We're going into quarter four now towards the end of the year, look into a new year in 2026. So for someone who is listening right now, who feels stuck, maybe like you did once, you know, in your life, brother, what's the first small step they can take today to start their own comeback story?

[B]

Yeah, that's awesome. Let me share a quote with you and then some. Some tips or some ideas. One quote I heard maybe two, three months ago has just been rocking me is time is the only currency that we spend. Without knowing the remaining balance, we have no idea how much time we have left. We have. I could, bro, I could have 60 minutes or 60 years. And it's so important for me to stop giving my time to garbage that doesn't matter. That's not moving the needle in any area. And we do it all the time. We give away time. Buckets of time to social media, to Netflix, to drinking, to eating, to whatever, to friends, to dead end friendships. You name it. You have no idea how much time you have left. And that kind of, kind of goes back to my. My funeral moment, you know, where I was faced with that at the end of my life. What do I want to be known for? And so if you're listening today, number one, understand that time is a gift. You don't know how much you have left, so stop giving it away to things that aren't productive, that aren't moving the needle. The second thing especially connected to that is stop trying to do it on your own. I would ask you, when you think about an area of your life that you're not happy and you've been trying to do it by yourself, you've been trying to do it with these little YouTube videos and these little free gifts, PDFs, blah, blah, blah. How's that working for you? Probably it's not working well, right? And I say that in love. But at the end of the day, what you need to do is reach out and get around other people who are on the journey. The same journey as you get into, especially if you're a man. Because we are like lone wool. We have this lone wolf mentality. And it's like, I'm going to be self made. Well, I'll tell you what, man. The lone wolf dies alone. The strongest wolves build packs, okay? Get around other men who are trying to do the same thing. Leveling up and get a coach. It doesn't have to be my community, doesn't have to be me. Could be, you know, anyone who, who you trust. Like you said, find somebody you trust because there's so much noise. Find someone you trust and start following them because they will collapse the amount of time it takes to get to that point. It took me, you know, 10 years to get to where I am today. You hire a coach and get into a community, you can do that probably one year, like in, in a tenth of the time. And so because they will give you the advice to help you sidestep all the mistakes and the community will hold you to that standard so you don't give up. Because I tell you what, man, as a guy who's walked through the garbage myself, there were a million times where I almost gave up. I almost gave up. And there were men that held my arms high when I wanted to fall. And so that would be my piece of advice. Stop believing the lie that you can do this on your own. I mean, you might be, but if you did, you would be like.05% of the world that can do it on your own, right? So collapse the time, exponentiate the process, Hire a coach and get into a community.

[A]

No, no, dude. Every stage, guys, you know, listening to Mitchell, he makes total sense. Even if you are that 1% of the 1% and you've gotten great success by yourself by being a lone wolf. Trust me, I've been there. But I will tell you this. I stay a student of the game now and guess what? I learned so much from other people's just point of views and experience. And that's realistically what you're buying into when you go ahead and get a coach or a mentor. It's their experience, okay? So go ahead, learn from somebody that you can relate to, that is your people. Because now with the online world back in 2020, dude, I wasn't on social media for eight years and when I came back I was just like, this is amazing right now. I've made some of my best friends that are multi millionaires online, dude, online. Like none of my, none of my friends, all my co workers back home are currently. Well, I'm still friends with them, but none of them are multimillionaires where we're all hanging out, right, because we're all traveling, you know, different states, different countries. But it's because of what we were able to do. Which is what? Learn from people. Just like Mitchell said, learn from people that have the experience and you guys don't have to go through a decade. I dude, me and you have so much in common. Like I literally went through like a decade and a half to get to where I'm at, man. And it's just because I'm hard headed, right? I just wasn't listening to people that were like, hey dude, you should like educate yourself on you doing X, Y and Z. I would have got there a lot faster, right? So now it makes a lot of sense, Mitchell. So where can my audience find you, brother?

[B]

Yeah, man, I'd actually, you know what? I'd love to give your listeners a free gift if you're, if you're okay with that. Of course I help a lot of men with understanding their emotions because, you know, in the context of marriage, we know that Today in the U.S. 7 out of every 10 divorces are initiated by women. By the women in the relationship. In situations where the wife is a high earner or an educate has an education, that number goes to 90% of divorces are initiated by women. Of Those divorces initiated 80% of the the time. The main reason cited is a lack of emotional connection with her partner. And so it is just known that as men and we could do a whole episode on this is we struggle with connecting with our emotions, both with ourselves and also connecting with our partners. And so I've just have something called the connection code, which is 50 questions designed to spark the fun and get the fire back in your relationship. So if your wife or your girlfriend or whatever has said something like I feel like I married a robot or we don't talk like we used to or you don't talk about your feelings. This list of questions has been tried, tested and true. And you can download it for free and take her out on a date. Pull any of the ones off this question. It covers everything from like your dreams to your leisure to passion, intimacy, you name it. So if you go to dadnationcode.com code you can get it or I'll give you the link you can put in the show notes. But yeah, man, other than that, you could just check out the dad Nation podcast. You know, like I said, top 5% globally. And then, yeah, if you just Google that, you'll find my face plastered everywhere. I have communities, coaching programs, courses, you know, you name it. So I go, I have ways to serve men all the way from free up to quite high ticket. So happy to do whatever I can to serve you the most powerful way I can.

[A]

I love that, brother. And what's your Instagram handle?

[B]

Yeah, the Instagram handles at dad Nation. Cool.

[A]

So you guys have it right there. It's dad Nation co on Instagram. Guys, make sure we're going to go ahead and make sure to collab the reel off of this interview with that handle. With that being said, Mitchell, any last words before we exit out? Brother.

[B]

You matter. What you do matters. You know, we live in a world that tells that tells that. I think a lot of parts of society would say that men don't matter. And I know you're not, not just men. Listen. But I'll speak to the men for a moment. They say that, you know, that you, I mean, you can't even use the word masculinity today without getting canceled. So. But I would say how you show up matters. You know, I could, I could list statistics that will blow your mind about, you know, high school dropouts and children with learning disorders and, you know, you name it, that come from fatherless homes. And so how you show up as a man in this world, as a husband, as a father, you know, is significant. And so if you have, if you feel like you, what you're doing isn't, you know, carrying purpose or you don't have meaning, trust me, brother, you do. And you are capable of so much more than you even understand right now.

[A]

And that is the Level up with Mitchell Osmond. Guys, make sure to leave a five star review on Spotify, Apple podcasts and anywhere else where you guys listen to this interview. Share with a friend, share with a fellow friend that needs some help to level up their mindset. This is a great interview with Mitchell Osmond. Make sure to check out Dan Nation co on Instagram, guys, it's going to go viral. With that being said, Paul, Alex, the level up Mitchell Osmond. We'll catch you guys on the next one.