Podcast Summary: The Life Coach School Podcast

Episode: #525: Say vs. Hear
Release Date: July 4, 2024
Host: Brooke Castillo

Introduction

In Episode #525 titled "Say vs. Hear," Brooke Castillo delves into the profound impact of self-talk on personal performance and emotional well-being. Drawing parallels between golf and everyday life, Brooke explores how the language we use with ourselves shapes our actions, emotions, and ultimately, our success.

Golf as a Metaphor for Life

Timestamp: [00:00]

Brooke opens the episode by sharing her recent experiences playing golf with her son, Christian. She observes that golf serves as an excellent metaphor for life, emphasizing the mental aspects of the game:

• Mental Game in Golf: Success in golf isn't just about physical skill but also about mental resilience and how one handles success and failure on the course.

• Observing Reactions: Brooke notices Christian's physical and emotional reactions to making or missing putts, highlighting how these reactions influence his subsequent performance.

Notable Quote:

"The way that he's thinking, the way that he's feeling is affecting his actions on the course."
— Brooke Castillo [05:30]

The Power of Self-Talk

Brooke transitions to discussing the concept of self-talk, emphasizing its dual role in both expressing and receiving emotions:

• Negative Self-Talk: When Christian misses a putt, he exhibits disappointment through body language and negative self-talk, such as "That sucked" or "Why can't you make a putt?"

• Self-Impact: This negative rhetoric doesn't just reflect his feelings; it also reinforces them, creating a cycle that affects his performance adversely.

Notable Quote:

"When you miss a putt and you are shaking your head at yourself... you're also at the effect of that disappointment."
— Brooke Castillo [12:45]

Conscious Communication with Oneself

Brooke emphasizes the importance of consciously deciding what we say to ourselves, especially in moments of failure or frustration:

• Constructive Self-Talk: Instead of indulging in negativity, Brooke encourages replacing harsh self-criticism with supportive and constructive feedback.

• Example from Golf: She cites an example where a fellow golfer remains stoic regardless of the shot outcome, illustrating the benefits of maintaining a consistent and positive demeanor.

Notable Quote:

"If you're feeling tense, tight, disappointed... that's definitely going to affect how you show up and hit the ball."
— Brooke Castillo [15:20]

Application Beyond Sports

Brooke broadens the discussion to apply the "Say vs. Hear" concept to various aspects of life:

• Professional Settings: Managing emotions when an employee makes a mistake, urging a shift from venting frustration to offering constructive feedback.

• Personal Development: Encouraging listeners to list positive affirmations they want to hear and practice saying them to themselves regularly.

Actionable Insights:

1. Self-Awareness: Recognize the negative self-talk patterns that hinder performance and self-esteem.
2. Positive Affirmations: Create and consistently use a list of encouraging statements tailored to personal needs.
3. Pause and Reflect: In moments of frustration, take a pause to choose a more constructive response instead of reacting impulsively.

Notable Quote:

"The biggest negative impacting thing that we can do to ourselves is to not have our own backs and beat the crap out of ourselves."
— Brooke Castillo [20:10]

Building Emotional Maturity

Emphasizing emotional maturity, Brooke discusses the responsibility of managing one's reactions:

• Overcoming Instinctual Reactions: Acknowledging that negative reactions are often the path of least resistance but choosing to engage higher cognitive functions to respond differently.

• Long-Term Benefits: Highlighting how consistent positive self-talk leads to improved self-esteem, better performance, and a more conscious life.

Notable Quote:

"Being who we want to be doesn't mean we won't make mistakes... but we can manage the person that we most want to be."
— Brooke Castillo [22:35]

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Brooke wraps up the episode by reinforcing the transformative power of conscious self-communication:

• Empowerment Through Language: By controlling the language we use with ourselves, we can significantly influence our emotional state and actions.

• Encouragement for Practice: She urges listeners to actively practice positive self-talk, even if it feels awkward initially, to cultivate a more supportive internal dialogue.

Final Quote:

"How you talk to yourselves is how you listen to yourselves. You need to make sure that you're not indulging in a bunch of negative nonsense."
— Brooke Castillo [25:00]

Key Takeaways

• Self-Talk Matters: The words we use internally have a profound effect on our emotions, actions, and overall performance.

• Conscious Choice: Actively choosing positive and constructive language can break negative cycles and foster personal growth.

• Application Across Life: Whether in sports, work, or personal relationships, the principles of positive self-talk are universally applicable.

• Emotional Maturity: Developing the ability to manage and redirect self-talk is a sign of emotional maturity and leads to a more conscious and fulfilling life.

Learn More:
For those interested in deepening their understanding of life coaching and personal development, Brooke Castillo invites listeners to explore comprehensive certification courses at TheLifeCoachSchool.com.