Leverage Speaking to Scale Your Business with Darryll Stinson

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Lindsey Anderson Show – "Leverage Speaking to Scale Your Business with Darryll Stinson"

Episode Overview In this compelling episode of The Lindsey Anderson Show, host Lindsey Anderson welcomes Darryll Stinson, a multifaceted entrepreneur, former Division I athlete, bestselling author, and renowned TEDx speaker. The conversation delves into the strategic use of public speaking to amplify business growth, emphasizing authenticity, impactful storytelling, and the psychological underpinnings of effective communication.

Guest Introduction Lindsey Anderson introduces Darryll Stinson, highlighting his impressive journey from a collegiate athlete to a transformational speaker and author. Darryll shares his mission through Seeding Greatness, focusing on restoring the planet and empowering individuals through storytelling and transformational services. His resilience, having overcome personal struggles and achieving significant milestones like multiple TEDx talks with over two million views, sets the stage for an insightful discussion on leveraging speaking opportunities for business scaling.

Key Topics Discussed

1. The Three Realms of Speaking

   • Knowledge, Doing, Becoming: Darryll categorizes speaking into three distinct realms:
     • Knowledge: Teaching what you know through best practices and consumed information.
     • Doing: Sharing how you implement strategies in your life, demonstrating practical application.
     • Becoming: Communicating your essence and personal transformation, akin to mentorship without proximity.
   • Notable Quote:
     “Speaking in the realm of who you are is giving people the power of mentorship without the proximity.” [04:17]

2. Authentic and Impactful Speaking

   • Depth of Reflection: Effective speakers must embody self-awareness across financial, psychological, emotional, and social dimensions to convey genuine insights.
   • Beneficial Vulnerability: Sharing personal stories should foster audience growth rather than mere emotional expression.
   • Notable Quote:
     “The best marketing tool for a viral speech is a great speech.” [05:20]

3. Mastering TEDx Talks

   • Central Idea Focus: Darryll emphasizes the importance of distilling your message into a single, clear idea worth spreading. He advises speakers to present fresh perspectives on existing concepts to stand out.
   • Application Process: Preparing for a TEDx talk is a rigorous six-month process that ensures depth and clarity.
   • Notable Quotes:
     “Before you apply, get your idea to a sentence or less.” [09:45]
     “Ideas worth spreading, not speeches worth giving.” [09:09]

4. Avoiding the “Courtesy Clap”

   • Authentic Feedback: Darryll discusses the phenomenon where audiences offer superficial praise, hindering genuine impact. He urges speakers to seek honest feedback to truly benefit their audience.
   • Impact Over Applause: The goal is to create meaningful change in listeners’ lives, not just receive accolades.
   • Notable Quote:
     “People should stop clapping when people do a terrible job.” [20:56]

5. Balancing Vulnerability and Purpose

   • Storytelling for Others: Darryll advises that personal stories should serve the audience’s growth, ensuring that vulnerability translates into actionable insights rather than self-centered narratives.
   • Audience-Centric Sharing: Tailoring the depth and nature of personal anecdotes to resonate with the specific audience’s experiences and pains.
   • Notable Quote:
     “It's about you. It's for them, though.” [23:06]

6. Harnessing Subconscious Beliefs

   • Self-Awareness in Behavior: Darryll reflects on the importance of understanding subconscious beliefs that influence actions, emphasizing their role in personal and professional development.
   • Practical Transformation: Addressing deep-seated beliefs can enhance skills like high-ticket sales by fostering genuine self-confidence and worthiness.
   • Notable Quote:
     “I wish I would have known how my subconscious belief affects my behavior.” [26:59]

Insights and Takeaways

• Clarity of Purpose: Successful speakers focus on a singular, impactful idea that can be thoroughly explored and leave a lasting impression on the audience.

• Authenticity Matters: Authentic storytelling fosters a deeper connection with the audience, making the speaker’s message more relatable and actionable.

• Strategic Vulnerability: Sharing personal experiences should be purposeful, aiming to provide value and facilitate audience transformation rather than seeking validation.

• Continuous Self-Reflection: Speakers must engage in ongoing self-assessment to ensure their messages remain relevant, impactful, and aligned with their personal growth.

Conclusion In this episode, Darryll Stinson offers invaluable strategies for entrepreneurs, coaches, and consultants aiming to scale their businesses through effective public speaking. By emphasizing authentic communication, clarity of ideas, and the importance of genuine audience engagement, Darryll provides a roadmap for leveraging speaking opportunities to achieve substantial business growth and personal fulfillment.

Connect with Darryll Stinson Listeners are encouraged to reach out to Darryll through his website darrelstinson.com for more insights, event participation, and community support.

Final Thoughts Lindsey Anderson wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of actionable strategies and authentic growth, encouraging listeners to apply the discussed techniques to transform their businesses and lives.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• “Speaking in the realm of who you are is giving people the power of mentorship without the proximity.” – Darryll Stinson [04:17]
• “The best marketing tool for a viral speech is a great speech.” – Darryll Stinson [05:20]
• “Before you apply, get your idea to a sentence or less.” – Darryll Stinson [09:45]
• “Ideas worth spreading, not speeches worth giving.” – Darryll Stinson [09:09]
• “People should stop clapping when people do a terrible job.” – Darryll Stinson [20:56]
• “It's about you. It's for them, though.” – Darryll Stinson [23:06]
• “I wish I would have known how my subconscious belief affects my behavior.” – Darryll Stinson [26:59]

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing actionable insights and highlighting the transformative power of authentic speaking in scaling businesses.

Transcript

[Lindsay Anderson]

Are you ready for next level growth in your business? Welcome to the Millionaire Maker show where we pull back the curtain on the exact strategies, tools and mindsets that build million dollar empires. If you're hungry for more time, more freedom and a whole lot more impact, you've come to the right place. Buckle up because we're about to ignite your business journey. Now here's Lindsay.

Hey everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Millionaire Maker show. I am your host, Lindsay Anderson. And today I'm so excited to interview my guest, Mr. Darrell Stinson. He is the co founder of Seeding Greatness, a movement of restoring the planet and helping humanity mill through their stories and transformational services. Darrell's going to talk to us about how to leverage your speaking opportunities, how to get more speaking opportunities and all about the world of speaking. He is a former Division 1 athlete. He overcame multiple suicide attempts to become a multiple bestselling author and a two times TEDx speaker with more than 2 million views. He is accomplished, he is an expert and I'm so excited to interview him on the show today. Welcome Daryl. So glad you're here.

[Darrell Stinson]

What up, what up, what up? Glad to be here.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Did I miss anything? You're an impressive guy.

[Darrell Stinson]

Oh man. I mean, I don't know how much to tell people. I think people can hear my voice and know if we're supposed to connect, have further conversations, whether that's professional, personal, you connect with who you resonate with. You know, your vibe attracts your tribe. So I don't feel the need to, you know, go through a bunch of stuff. But there's tons of stuff that might be pertinent to people. So we'll get into the convo.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I do have this question around the former Division 1 athlete.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yes.

[Lindsay Anderson]

What did you play? Tell me just briefly about that.

[Darrell Stinson]

Played football primarily. I went to college to play both football and basketball. I was ranked top 100 my senior year in high school in both. I was 79th in basketball and I was, I don't know, it depends on what rankings you read. Anywhere between 20 to 70 ish in football but earned a full ride scholarship to play football and basketball at Central Mission University. Only ended up playing football because I, you know, that was much better early on than they thought I was going to be then. They didn't want me to get hurt playing basketball and football. Paid my scholarship. Central Michigan University head coach Butch Jones, you know, we won a Mac championship there and was ranked 23rd in the nation 2009. Lots of great athletes that come out of that Program number one, draft pick, Antonio Brown, down with fever, some super bowl winners. So you're really one of a championship team. Probably top two, three teams to come through.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Wow, that is so cool. I love that. So you're. You are a professional athlete. But let's fast forward. What would you say you're known for now, man?

[Darrell Stinson]

My vulnerability on stages and my ability to help other people to share vulnerably without trauma dumping, without, you know, being emotional for emotional sake in a way that results in growth in their business and transformation for the audience that they speak to and themselves. We. I can get into this a lot, but one of the things I talk about is, you know, the three realms of speaking. Okay. Knowledge, knowledge, doing, becoming, right, to know, to do, to become. So there's people who teach what they know. This is kind of like a. Like, you know, I consume information. I give you best practices of what I consume. There's people who teach what they do. That's realm number two. I'll show you more of, like, how I'm implementing this in my life. Like, I might, you know, teach you what I'm doing in my life. And then there's teaching who you are. This is your essence. And the best way I know how to explain the third realm to people is that we understand in leadership development and mentorship that proximity is power and that some things are caught and they're not taught. So speaking in the realm of who you are is giving people the power of mentorship without the proximity.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay, can you be a little bit more specific? So are you saying when you're doing speaking, the most powerful type of speaking is the becoming who you are? That's the kind of speaker you want to be, because you can make the same impact through your words as if you were sitting next to somebody.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah. Because it has that depth of insight and wisdom and reflection. But in order to have that potency in the communication, you have to have that depth of reflection in the practice of your own becomingness. You have to have an awareness of what you're doing in practice and how you're responding in all areas. Financially, psychologically, emotionally, socially. Because that's what creates the potency that can only be caught in proximity of mentorship. That now, because of your reflection and connection and awareness of the process you going through, you're able to share that potency from stage with others.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Those are the most powerful talks. Those are the ones that are really going to make the big impact. And that's what you teach people. Is. Is this. Wow.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yes.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay. So you had a TEDx speech. Two million views, is that right? What was that? And like what was the secret sauce there?

[Darrell Stinson]

Oh man. The best marketing tool for a viral speech is a great speech.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah.

[Darrell Stinson]

And, and well you know, it's interesting because the number of people who I get who are seasoned speakers or they have enough like you know, repetitions, they've done enough podcasts, maybe they were teacher for 15 years, they're like, I'm good, I know how to speak, I know, I just want the opportunity. And it's like okay, problem number one. I think you're more ready than what you are.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah.

[Darrell Stinson]

Specific being it like yeah, you might be further along than maybe the average communicator, but TED is a specific talk and regardless of your level of skill, it's still like signing up for a Boston Marathon. You can just get up there and just give the normal keynote that you give but your results won't be exceptional in most cases. And so you gotta take yourself through an actual process of creating your speech. So man, again it's a six month process we bring clients through. I can couple of pointers in that to self initiate.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Let me just clarify something really quick.

[Darrell Stinson]

Go for it.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You're talking about getting on the TED stage and you're like even if you are a speaker and you're on all the stages and doing all the speaking, TED itself because it's like all nuanced like if you want a successful TEDx talk, like it's not what you're used to. There's some nuance here and you're going to share with us some tips around the nuance, is that right?

[Darrell Stinson]

Exactly, exactly.

[Lindsay Anderson]

But I don't, don't give me the tips yet, Daryl. I want, I want, I want to know this first because I know that you're a seasoned speaker yourself as cuz we're, we're talking to business owners here, people who need more high quality leads.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Do I pick a regular stage or is Ted the stage for more leads?

[Darrell Stinson]

Bo, Ted's like a, you know there's farming and hunting in business. Ted's like a farm. Okay. Like a long term, like and I say long term play. But you know I went, I got 2 million views in two years. So it wasn't like 10 years but, but it's not necessarily a short term as like I'm on a stage like I'm going to be speaking on Monday to 500 people so I can generate profits and cash flow and leads and connections and referrals way faster from Doing a talk like that than I would doing a TED Talk.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay.

[Darrell Stinson]

But my TED Talk has been out for four years and it brings me gigs almost every month.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Right.

[Darrell Stinson]

And it's an old version of myself, so can't even imagine if a new version of myself was actually on display. Right.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I don't even want to know how many times you have a new version of yourself, Terrell. You seem like you're always recreating.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay. And then there is this idea that the TEDx, because there is a brand and there is some authority and notoriety there, that that also helps or.

[Darrell Stinson]

No, it does. It really does. I don't teach that a lot because it's cheap to me. Cause I know people who are like, oh, I just wanna do a TED Talk. I'm gonna put the logo on my website, I'm gonna put one sheet. I call myself a TedX speaker, but the talk is trash. I want you to be an expert before you hit the stage. And then we tetify your idea. I don't want you to have the stage define and make you the expert.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I love that. I love that. And it would just be like a throwaway TED Talk at that point anyway. Right?

[Darrell Stinson]

Well, you can leverage it. It wouldn't be throw away by any degree. You can leverage it. Or look, you can put it on your website, put it on your one sheet. You can call yourself a 10X, open up doors for you. But the like, it's. It's not going to have as much traction and it's going to lack a substance because you lack putting substance into it. It's like you microwaved it instead of crock pot.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Give us three tips, like three things going into a TED Talk. What do we need to know? Gerald?

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay, going into a TED Talk, thing number one. All right. Value ideas over speeches. And I'm doing air quotes.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay.

[Darrell Stinson]

Speeches quote unquote. Okay, again, headache is about ideas worth spreading, not about speeches worth giving. We're not doing a traditional keynote where there's an intro, three points and a conclusion. We're unpacking a central idea. So tip number one is before you apply, get your idea to a sentence or less. Simon Sinning. Great. People buy what people buy. Why you do it, not what you do. One sentence.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay.

[Darrell Stinson]

Renee Brown. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Okay. Daryl Stinson. Rejection is projection or protection. It's in a single sentence and it's an idea that over the course of 18 minutes or less, you unpack it. Layers and layers and layers. If everybody listening to get that one thing, I promise you, it'll set you apart to put you easily in the top 10%. The other thing I do is I have my own TEDx stage that we host out of metro Atlanta. We had over a thousand applications this year. So I literally thumb through application, application, application, me and all the team. But I looked through it. I looked, I read everyone to a degree. The ones that could not. I could not tell what their idea was in a sentence or so or like the first like 10 seconds of the video. It's like if it didn't seem clear, if you confuse, you lose. And they lost me. I was like, I don't know. Next. Yeah, it seems like a lot of work. Ah, man.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Seems like it's not here. Like I'm not marketed to at this point.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah, right, exactly. So get really good at communicating the idea. The idea. Not the tips, not the pointers. The idea. I'm being like, I'm saying this.

[Lindsay Anderson]

This is important.

[Darrell Stinson]

He's very important. People hear this and it goes. I think they shake their head. They go, yeah, I get it. Then they send me an email with their idea. And it's a speech outline. What?

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah, it's not a sentence, not an idea.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah, it's like how to change your life. I'm like, okay, that's not an idea. So that's tip number one, idea, one sentence. Or last. Tip number two is make that idea a new idea or a fresh take on an old idea. So sometimes people can get into an idea, but it sounds like something that everybody else is saying. Leadership is influence, because that's what you take.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Gotta have a unique idea here. Otherwise it's not an idea worth sharing.

[Darrell Stinson]

There's this fun game that I have behind me. Yeah, it's right behind me. You can see it on my camera. Disrupt this. This is fun game. You get like, you pull these cards and this is like these objects and then you can have these prompts of what you want to do with these pictures or objects that are on the card. One of the card is like, you can disrupt it. It's like you can take a stove and a hanger and go, hey, you can make these things anything that you want them to be. Disrupt it. And it's just, it's a game to inspire creativity and get your mind thinking in different ways. So I can say, okay, fine, I'm going to put that hanger on the stove and that hanger is actually going to be iron and steel and the stove's going to be like, mushy. Lightweight, so that it's a weapon. You can just disrupt it, make it something completely not what it is.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Right.

[Darrell Stinson]

I would do that with. I would do that with your same old topic. I would go, okay, leadership is influence. How do I disrupt it? How do I make it? How do I turn it, twist it, say it in a different way that more than say it in a different way. How do I look at it from a different len that can be globally helpful for people.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay, I like that. All right.

[Darrell Stinson]

So you could say on its own, it's basic sense. My talk was about resilience. You could say that. But I spun it and looked at it through the lens of rejection and being resilient through rejection and then made my talk about overcoming.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yes. And protection also was in there. It's like one or the other, but again, listen. Yeah, exactly.

[Darrell Stinson]

So people got to kind of play that. And it's good to have like a real analytical person be devil codes, devil's advocate. And that would be tip number three. Okay, so tip number one, one sentence or less, singular idea 10x is about ideas worth spreading, not speeches worth giving. Do not send me your speech outline. Send me a central idea, one sentence or less that you can unpack. Number two, communicate it as a new idea or a fresh take on an old idea. Number three, get an analytical person that can tell you when you're breathing. That will tell you that you just said leadership is influence and then try to change it to. Leadership is aggregated, employed. You didn't actually change it. You're saying the same thing. You're not saying anything different. I've heard this a hundred times before. You're not even saying it in any way. And most people, especially high level people, sometimes people, they don't recognize the blind spot that people are so inspired by them that they're not.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Can you unpack that just a little bit more?

[Darrell Stinson]

I call it the courtesy clap of courtesy clap. So for years I was in the industry and I was speaking because I was like former athlete, you know, I was, you know, always carried a good present. I would go, I would speak, I would do a bad job and people would say, oh, thank you. Awesome. Oh, that was amazing. You did great. Some people even lied to me and said, oh, that's exactly what I needed to hear. But you know how I could tell they were lying? I asked the question, I said, oh, really? What was it?

[Lindsay Anderson]

And, you know, then they quoted the other guy.

[Darrell Stinson]

What was really going on, if I was honest with myself, was that I didn't actually make an impact in their life. And they felt awkward and they didn't know how to handle the cognitive dissonance between who they saw me to be and how I showed up. When I spoke, and they didn't want to tell me that, hey, I was. I'm actually weak. And because they didn't want to say that to me, they told me that it was awesome.

[Lindsay Anderson]

So, like, was this like a. Like how long did this. Did this. I'm going to struggle, but like, recognize this, that people are saying stuff to you that it's not landing you conferences? Of course I do, Daryl. Of course I do.

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay, can you. Can we have an honest conversation right now for a second?

[Lindsay Anderson]

Let's do it.

[Darrell Stinson]

All right. The last conference you went to, I mean, ballpark, how many speakers were there?

[Lindsay Anderson]

The last. Oh, a lot. Like 20.

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay, 20. Okay. Out of the 20 speakers, Lindsey, was there any of them that got up there, spoke for 30 minutes to an hour dry salesy.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah.

[Darrell Stinson]

Telling stories. They were their own entertainment.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yes.

[Darrell Stinson]

And at the end of their presentation, people said, yeah, Yuen.

[Lindsay Anderson]

All of young.

[Darrell Stinson]

Courtesy clap.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah, but you noticed this. It sounds like. And you're like, like, I don't want that. Like, I want people to real. Like what? Like, explain that middle part for me where you're realizing you're getting the courtesy clap, but you want to be shown up in a more authentic way.

[Darrell Stinson]

Has anyone ever, like, if you were honest with yourself right now, has anyone ever told you you did a great job when you know you did a good job?

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Darrell Stinson]

You know, we always feel it. It's just scary to actually face it.

[Lindsay Anderson]

And now you have me admitting it on this show. Daryl, I don't know.

[Darrell Stinson]

I know.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I don't know.

[Darrell Stinson]

You don't want to admit it because it's like, damn. Ooh, yeah, I know. Hey, I just watched my one of my film, like the full length film from my like two weeks ago. I was mad. I was so mad. I was like, oh my God, this is bad. And again, I'm an owners critic. Right. So.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Right.

[Darrell Stinson]

But also, I'm also willing to be self honest because that's how we grow. Because, you know, everyone says this, Lindsay, this is kind of pull a heartstring a bit. Everyone says that it's all about the audience. It's all about who you're reaching. Hey, like you want to impact lives. Like grow your business. It's all about people. It's about helping while serving others. We all say that. And to me, if we're really serious about Helping other people. And we're out here, we're speaking, we're on podcasts, and we're doing that as vocal leaders. We have to have a level of self honesty to our craft to assess the true impact of our work.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Amen. I like the way you worded that. I agree.

[Darrell Stinson]

We do. So what made you address that face? That it was that yearning in my heart. I felt that there was people that I could reach that I wasn't reaching. I was unfulfilled by someone that told me that I did an amazing job. But they couldn't clearly articulate how they were going to apply what they heard into their lives. That wasn't okay with me. I wanted to see their life change. Not just them have an emotional experience.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You're like, I'm taking this as a. As you mentioned, a vocal leader. This role seriously. My role is to help people improve their lives. And if they're not doing that, I'm not being as good as I can be. So I got to be honest with myself because that's the only person who can change. Taro, that's good stuff right there.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I want to circle back on something you said earlier, which is my specialty is social media and showing up on social media as a business owner, not an influencer and making sales on social media. And a lot of times people show up too vulnerably because of the stuff you said earlier in the interview, which is they share too much emotions and they're trauma dumping. Because I think with the likes and they get all this kind of stuff. Can you speak to that?

[Darrell Stinson]

Stop it. Nasty, dirty. We all can sense it. We feel it. Stop it now.

[Lindsay Anderson]

How do you know if you're. Because like, you know Bernay Brown, which you brought up, she talks about being vulnerable. And so, you know, you hear it worded as here's my experience, not your wounds, but what is it?

[Darrell Stinson]

Lack of people. We want to be honest. Like I just was with you and asked you the hard questions. We are free to be in a relationship like that. Because if I start having conversations with Lindsay like that, guess what Lindsay's gonna do? Lindsay's gonna start having conversations with me like that. And that's really what people are afraid of. Not of what they have to say to other people, but what people will hold them accountable to if they say what they really wanna say to them. I just feel like it takes like everyone that I know that has gone overboard with the trauma sharing or from emotion sake. They had to have come to Jesus moment. Like it had to be, hey, man, can I. Can I talk to you for a second? You just showing up and you'll kind of pimp out your story, and you're not actually telling people how to get out of the pain. You're just kind of sharing and being in victim mode. Is that really how you want to show up or talk to me and just be honest? It's like, again, you got to have people around you who love you enough to tell you when your breath stays. And I'm telling you, like, sometimes, especially as a leader, you actually have to ask specific questions from people to get specific answers. So how I found out that people were giving me courtesy clap is I asked specific questions.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You're willing to sit back and hear the answer. Like, you said, tell me one thing. I said, yeah. And they were like, what do you impact?

[Darrell Stinson]

Tell me about that? Oh, why? Why did that resonate? Why was that significant? There was, like, no reflection on that. It was just like, oh, I. I don't know what else to say. I think people should stop clapping. When people do a terrible job. I think they should not clap that the speakers can stop walking away and settling for the equivalent people really so serious. Because a lot of. A lot of speaking. I do a lot of entrepreneurship, growing your business with speaking, but I also do a lot of mental health and advocacy as a suicide survivor. And so for me, like, I'm not going to walk away and everyone. Like, that's amazing. And then somebody goes and commits suicide, right? I'm going to try to save anybody that I can if they have an opportunity to hear my voice. And so I have to be like, hey, really? Like, legit? Do you feel good with your next step? Like, do you know why you committed to the step before and haven't actually done it? Like, okay, cool. Now. Now you're on the path of transformation.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yeah.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay. Okay. So back on the vulnerability. So when I'm prepping my talk and you say, you know, it has to be part of me that's going to be the most powerful talk is when I'm showing up being. So how do I work in some of these historical stories about me without the speech becoming about me and me also being vulnerable? Like, what's.

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay, cool. Thank you. I love it. Interview me some more. I like this. We have the good combos. I love. I love interviews. All speakers love being interviewed. We say it's easier to.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You guys are so good at it.

[Darrell Stinson]

Well, it's easier to be interviewed than it is to sometimes speak because you feel like you got to perform to a level, right?

[Lindsay Anderson]

Yes.

[Darrell Stinson]

So hold on. What's the question?

[Lindsay Anderson]

It was thread the needle between. I need to share personal stories about me. How does it not become about me? And I can still be vulnerable, but not, like, too vulnerable.

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay, stop. So the story. The story is about you. And listen, this. Okay, listen to this whole sentence. You ready? It's about you. It's for others. Here's the part. I want everybody here, and it's for you.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I was surprised by that.

[Darrell Stinson]

I know. And some people are even. Some people are so offended by the first part that they don't listen to the rest. They're like, it's not about me. I'm like, no, it is about you. It's your story. Stop. Stop acting like it's not about you. It's their story. And stop resisting your story. Because here's what I would say to people. Does everyone have a story to tell? Yes. Does everybody's stories matter? Yes. That includes you. Your story matters.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay.

[Darrell Stinson]

If it was about somebody else's story, you would want to hear about their story. Don't you care about other people's stories? Yes. Okay. So get out of the trap. And all the mental and the false humility of, like, it is about you. It's for them, though. So if I'm talking about when I was depressed and suicidal and thinking about ending my life, when I. When I talk about me, I'm doing it for the sake of other people. And that requires two things. Number one, it requires me to make sure that I'm giving moments that is applicable to people.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay?

[Darrell Stinson]

Okay. So as an example, when I tell people that I was cut off from my emotion, I did not know how to express, so I suppress. That's about me. Now I got to make it for them and say, hey, everybody, repeat after me. Say whatever you don't express. Whatever you don't express, you suppress. You suppress. Okay, take 15 seconds. Write areas where you want to say something, but you have chosen not to in work, in relationships and business.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay, so being able to take your story and broadening the context so it applies to everybody in the audience.

[Darrell Stinson]

Yes. Yeah. And then if you're teaching in Realm 3, the next part of it is a byproduct. It is about you. For them, for you. Okay, so we have byproduct. Because now I say I can tell where people are limited in their life based upon where they're limited with their lips. And so you getting more free about what you're communicating and being more okay with communicating it and communicating it in a more empowering way where you're not a victim because you're taking about you and making it for them. Now you're benefiting from it. You're benefiting. I'm not trapped by the limitation of it being inside of me anymore. I've expressed it now. I've grown. The other thing is now you get to experience. We say, hey, your test will become your testimony. Your pain will become your power. Your mess will become your ministry. The way that that actually happens isn't by us trying to bypass it psychologically. They say, you know what? Everything happens for me. You know what? Like, everything happens for a reason. It's not pseudo spiritual. It's actually very practical. My pain becomes my power when I share my story with somebody else, and their life changes because of the pain that I was in. How do I know what to share and how much to share? It depends on the audience. I share in direct proportion to the pain that the audience is in. So when I'm speaking to addiction recovery communities, I go more into the addiction vulnerability of my story. When I'm in corporate, I go into different vulnerability. I talk about the insecurities in working as a leader and the struggle to be my authentic self or to lead courageously. So how much to share and what to share depends on the pain that the audience is in, because the purpose of you sharing your story is first for them, then for you.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You always got to watch the context there of the audience. Okay, dear, I loved this conversation. I have one more question for you because we're almost out of time.

[Darrell Stinson]

I'll be sure.

[Lindsay Anderson]

You are extremely talented. You've been a lot of places. You do a lot of things. What's one thing you wish you would have known before you got started?

[Darrell Stinson]

Wish I would have known how my subconscious belief affects my behavior. I wish I would have known that way earlier because I would have got out of my own way far sooner.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Okay, can you just expound on that just briefly for those audience members?

[Darrell Stinson]

I conscious belief. Hey, what's operating in the background of her mind? The operating system that runs our life, the traumas that we have that influence our behavior, they're so ingrained in our psychology and our behavioral patterns that we are often unaware of it.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Right?

[Darrell Stinson]

Autopilot, Autopilot. Okay. So any level of cognitive behavioral therapy or conscious coaching will help you to start to see, hey, the fact that you have problem quoting sales isn't because you're bad at sales because you were broke going up and you feel like you're unworthy of what you're asking for. And so in order for you to actually get better at high tech sales, it's not about you learning how to overcome objections and sales tax. It's actually about you going back loving that former version of yourself, giving that version of yourself what you wish you would ever receive so that by doing stuff you have enough self confidence and worthiness to now you're open to that at a high stake and sale as an example.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Well Darrell, what a great interview. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise. Before I let you go, I'm going to turn the time over to you. Let us know how to find you and anything else you want the audience to know.

[Darrell Stinson]

Any platform Stinton speaks man, I'm super approachable. You can also go to my website, darrelstinson.com, stories in the show, notes and all that type of stuff. Reach out to me man. We host events usually every four to six weeks, prices ranging. We even have free events. Just tap into the community, see who we know that we can help. My mentor told me that one of the things that he wish he would have done more is ask for help. I think people are suffering because they think that they have to do it alone. They don't. So reach out to us and we can support you.

[Lindsay Anderson]

I love it. Thanks Daryl for being a guest.

[Darrell Stinson]

Thank you.

[Lindsay Anderson]

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Millionaire Maker Show. A big thank you to Darrell for sharing all of his expertise and knowledge on today's podcast. We had such a great time during this interview. Don't forget to sign up for my upcoming workshop. If you want to know how to generate more high ticket sales with social media, all you need to do is head over to Lindsaya.com thank you so much for listening to the show. Cheers to you and your success.

That's a wrap for today's episode of the Millionaire Maker Show. If you love this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share how you're leveling up your business. Want more? Connect with Lindsay Anderson and get the tools you need to crush your [e-mail] until next time, keep pushing, keep growing and turn those business dreams into reality.