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- [00:03]
Lindsay Anderson
Are you ready for next level growth in your business? Welcome to the Lindsay Anderson show where we pull back the curtain on the exact strategies, tools and mindsets that build million dollar empires. If you're hungry for more time, more freedom and a whole lot more impact, you've come to the right place. Buckle up because we're about to ignite your business journey. Now here's Lindsay.
- [00:34]
Hey everybody. Welcome to another amazing episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. Today I have another amazing guest, Mr. Brian Biro. He is America's breakthrough speaker. You're going to love this guest. Brian has delivered nearly 19 presentations across the world over the last 34 years. He is the author of 16 books, including his bestseller Beyond Success and his brand new Lessons from the Legends. Brian was rated number one from over 40 speakers at four consecutive Inc. Magazine international conferences. With degrees from Stanford University and UCLA, Brian has appeared on Good Morning America and CNN. Brian was recently honored as one of the top 10 interactive keynote speakers in North America and and one of the top 50 motivational speakers in the world. And he's here to talk to us today. Brian, welcome to the show.
- [01:33]
Brian Biro
Thank you, Lindsay. And you get a A because you did Brian Byro's bio flawlessly. You can see it increase your fast.
- [01:40]
Lindsay Anderson
But I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say those three words. You're not going to trick me into it, Brian. Not this time.
- [01:45]
Brian Biro
Got you through it once you did it. Leave. Stick with the winner.
- [01:49]
Lindsay Anderson
Amazing. Brian, you have so many things going on. You've inspired so many people. If you were to boil all of this down into one thing, what would you say that you are known for?
- [02:01]
Brian Biro
I've called America's breakthrough speaker and it's because my passion is about breaking through. When you think about it, every big event that an organization has is about breakthroughs. My perception of leadership is a little different in that most of us have been raised to think that we have leaders and we have followers. We're all leaders. You're the CEO of your own life. How do you show up every day? That's leadership. How do you deal with adversity, with challenge, with change? Big part of leadership. Probably most important of all, what kind of impact do you have on the people around you? Do you lift them up? Everyone is a leader. And so when I say breakthrough leadership is my passion. Breakthroughs, it's really about all of us about being the living the kind of life we want to live and having the impact on the people that we want to have on really creating a Difference in the way that we embrace change as opposed to being frightened of it. So I'm called America Breakthrough speaker because I had a million people over the last 34 years actually experience a real breakthrough in my programs. I have them all breaking through these 1 inch thick words at the end of the program. It's a metaphor, it's real. These are real pieces of the wood. But it's a metaphor of breaking through fears, obstacles, habits or doubts. And so my passion is about helping people understand that breakthroughs are not only possible in our lives. That's a big first step. But I want to help people understand how to make them planable. What are the keys to breaking through? How can you break through with your teenager and really connect with them? How can you break through with your team and with a different generation of people so they really just grab a hold of personal responsibility. How do you build leaders? How do you create trust? Those are the things that I really focus upon. And they're all come under the. The foundational topic of breakthrough and breakthrough leadership.
- [03:47]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Brian. Now, so a couple of things here. So number one, do you mind? Why don't you give us a definition? What is your definition of breakthrough? I feel like we hear this word a lot. What is it?
- [03:57]
Brian Biro
Ultimately, there is only one breakthrough. If you get right down to it, you breakthrough from fear to love. Fear have many different names. Love has many different names. Every time you choose the fear side, you know, makes you tighten up. It makes you think all the reasons you can't or you won't even try. Every time you choose the love side, you're just like my grandkids at 5 and 8 who say anything's possible. You can't wait. So ultimately, breakthroughs are about doing things Maybe when you started out, you didn't know you could do. And to me, breakthroughs only come when you actually start to focus on controlling three controllables. There are three things that once you master those three and you focus on those three, then you're going to start to do things and create results in your life that when you step back, I don't think I could possibly do that. When I started out as a speaker, I had no thought I could end up speaking to a million people over 34 years that I would be doing this for that long. I just loved what I did. But that is a breakthrough result and that comes from embracing these three simple. And we can really focus in on each one of them. Ultimately. Here's what they are. One is to shape your future. All Breakthroughs start with vision. You gotta see it before you can be it. But most people don't recognize that their vision is something that they can really develop and that that vision ultimately can become a choice. So the first is to shape your future. We can talk about that in. The second is to energize and engage your team and yourself when it comes to breakthroughs, when it comes to human performance, when it comes to your health, when it comes to living a great life. So much of it is energy, and yet so many people think about their energy and the way they think about the weather. Hope the weather is good for the family picnic. Hope the family the weather stays good through the holidays. Isn't that the way we sometimes think about our energy? I hope I have enough energy to make through these four zoom calls today. Hope I have enough energy when I get home to not fall asleep on the couch. But I want to help people understand that is so far from the truth. Your energy is a matter of choice. And so we can talk a little more about that. But that's the second key. The third controllable, is to build people, build teams, and build relationships. All your listeners, all your viewers, Lindsey, are in the same business and the foundation, they're in the people business. It's the relationships you build. It's how you grow and help others grow that will determine how far you can go. So how do you do that? How do you do that intentionally? How do you build people, build teams and build relationships? How do you establish trust with people in the first 30 seconds? How do you help people know that they're important? Because when you. And when you focus on those three controllables and we can dive deeper in each one if you like. But as we. As you focus on those three, and here's the secret, most of us try to focus on the results. We want results, right? We do want results, but we don't control the results. We control what we put in the direction of those results. And when you focus on what you put in, you're going to great get great things that come out behind me. You can see what looks like a pyramid right there. My mentor and my friend who wrote the forward to my very first book was the greatest men's college basketball coach of all time. His name was John Wooden. If anybody's a Ted Lasso fan, then you probably know a little bit about John Wooden, because his pyramid of success was on the wall of Ted Lasso's little office out there in England. Anyway, Coach Wooden was. Won 10 national championships, no other coaching histories won more than five, but Coach Wooden was all about focusing on those controllables, on the things you do control, rather than what you don't. In fact, in 27 years of coaching basketball, John Wooden never said the words winning or losing to his players. Did he want to win? Oh, yeah. Well, what he wanted more was for everyone to focus on what they control. Their effort, their energy, their attitude. Those three controllables we just talked about. So that's the real secret. You want the results, but you focus on the things you control, and that's how you start to generate great groups.
- [07:46]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Brian. All right, I have a question for you. Tell me, was there a pivotal moment in your life, Brian, where you realized that this was the case, that you actually had control to break through, and you had control, not like the weather, but of your life?
- [08:00]
Brian Biro
Any question in the end? Definitely, yes. I was 20, 21 years old. I was a senior at Stanford University. And on the outside of people looking at me from the outside, they would go, oh, he's really rocking it. He's going to a great school. Stanford. He's doing well at Stanford. He's life is great. But inside, I felt lost. I felt like I. I didn't matter, that. That I was a failure, complete failure. And I had grown up with a dad who had a very hard time expressing appreciation or love. And so, as a result, all my young life, I felt like I was never good enough. That when you live for outside recognition, when you depend upon approval to be approving of yourself, you'll never have enough. And on the darkest day of my life, when I thought I might not make it past that day, all of a sudden it hit me that I had a choice and that I was living my life about approval and that need for approval. Now, we can appreciate approval. We can appreciate kind comments and compliments. But when it's what gives us life, then we're putting ourselves at the effect instead of the cause of our own joy. And so in that day, I wrote these words down. I said, no one can be loved until they let themselves be seen. No one can be seen until they learn to love themselves. And so that was the first moment that I began to shift away. And ultimately, what changed my life, the pivotal moment, was when I stopped living my life to try to be the best. See, when you need that approval, you're always trying to be the best. Now that's all about comparison. You can't. When you start thinking about being the best, it's comparing yourself to everybody. Else. And you'll never be good enough or you'll be a narcissist, one or the other. That day I shifted to focusing on the rest of my life, going after one simple thing, being my best. That was within my control. And it was an immediate, incredible shift. It ro. Suddenly, I was joyous. Before that, Lindsay, you did not want to play a sport with me because I was mean bugger. I. I had to beat you. And instantly when I did, all of a sudden I was fun to play with, I was fun to do things with. And actually I performed better when I stopped worrying about comparison and I started focusing on what I controlled. My effort, my energy, my attitude, my spirit and life just became a richer, fuller thing. So it was. It's a real important thing to remember that within every adversity is planted the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. In other words, the toughest times that we've gone through and made it to the other side aren't the often the things from which we grow the most. So if. If you're in one of those tough times, the two things don't give up. And number two, shift your focus from the painting to the possibility. Shift your focus to what can I learn from this? Right? And shift your focus to what you can do. And take one step at a time. And the next thing you know, you've shifted your entire life. And that trajectory may seem like a tiny little change, but if that keeps going in that new direction, it can be a massive change.
- [11:09]
Lindsay Anderson
I love your message because it is all about stuff that people can control. You're the CEO of your own life. The only thing you can control is your intent and the direction that you're headed. And you shared these three powerful keys to breakthrough. You shared shape your future, energize and build people teams and relationships. I love that. So as people are implementing these three rules so that they can take advantage of this cycle that you talk about, which is like a expansion and contraction cycle of, like, pain, and then benefit. What are some common obstacles that you have noticed that people encounter when they're trying to implement your three rules? Brian?
- [11:47]
Brian Biro
The first one is about where all breakthroughs start, which is about vision, and that's about shaping your future. So I'm going to ask all of the people watching this podcast right now, I'm going to ask you all a question. And just for the fun, and even if you have people around you, if nobody's around, answer out loud. It's a vision question, a silly question. What color? And you don't have to do this because it could be embarrassing. What color is a yield sign? Now, I've asked that Lindsay to close to a million people, and every single audience that I've ever spoken to almost unanimously calls out yellow. Yield signs are red and white. They're upside down. I could tell you're thinking yellow. All right, that's what, overwhelmingly, maybe 3% of the audience whoever said red, and they're overwhelmed by yellow. So you see thousands of yield signs in the same way you see yourself every day. Your family every day, your job every day, your clients every day. So the question is, why don't we see what's right in front of us? And here's the key. Almost everyone I know, you, me, my kids, your kids, my team, your team, almost everyone I know rarely uses their vision to see. We don't use our vision, you know, what we use to stem, we use our memory and our conditioning. And whatever you use your memory to see, do not see what is. You see what was. And the second you lock onto what was, guess what? You block out what is and what could be. Now, that's well and good for yield signs. And I hope you'll all join me because I am the happiest driver I know. Because every time I see a yield sign, I start cracking up. I'm thinking, what else have I been missing lately? And let me warn everybody, for the next couple weeks, every time you pass a yield sign, it's going to feel like it leaps out of cement, whacks you up. But where does it actually matter to us to no longer depend upon our memory to see one word, the word that you're all about? Lindsay. People change. The way you look at people, the people you look at change, change the way you see yourself. The self will change so instantly when you see yourself. And that's what I'm trying to help people develop, is to see themselves as breakthrough leaders and understand those concepts. And instantly you do that, you start to see differently, change the way you look at people, the people you look at change, change how you see yourself. The self will change. So the first kind of barrier is to break that comfort zone and that habit of using your memory to see, especially with people. I won't go into the whole story, but one day after my oldest daughter went away to college, when she first came back to visit us, all of a sudden I realized I had been looking at her like she was an old yellow yield sign. I've been looking at her like she was a 10 year old. She'd been driving her own car for two and a half years. She walked in our door that Thanksgiving at freshman of college, announced to her mother and I that she applied for and been accepted to do a ve very special service program in Ghana, in Africa, because Kelsey wants to make a little bet. And I realized in that moment that every time I looked at her as if she were an old yellow yield sign, what happened to our relationship? It went backwards until I looked at the wisdom, the courage, the remarkable woman that was right in front of me when I used my vision to see. So the first breakthrough, it starts with vision and no longer depend upon your memory to see. When you do that, you begin to understand the most powerful principle of all when it comes to shaping your future, which is what you focus on is what you create. What you focus on is what you create, not what you get. It's what you create because you're in the game of creating what it is you're looking for.
- [15:09]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Wow. You just dropped a lot of value bombs there, Brian. There was a lot of truth in what you just said. It's so internal, focused. You change what's inside of you, as you said, then everything else around you change. Your total perception changes. I love it. I love it. Tell me, Brian, is there something that the audience can do daily to remind us that we're actually in control of this situation?
- [15:33]
Brian Biro
Oh, absolutely. Number a couple of things that we can do. We could spend three hours in this podcast and I know we don't have three hours, we have only about 30 minutes. So I want. There's the probably the most important thing you can do, because to me, of those three controllables, the one that makes the biggest difference in our personal life and professional life is to build people, teams and relationships. And the key to that is what I call the gift. And it. It's called being fully present. What does that mean, when you're fully present? When you're fully present, 100% of your mind, body and spirit is with the people you're with, where they are now. How many of us ever been with somebody where we know their body's there, but the rest of them is in some other county? How does it make you feel when someone you wish to be present with you is not fully present with you? How does it make you feel when somebody you really want with is more interested in their cell phone than they are listening to you? For everyone I've ever known, it makes them feel worth less. It makes it feel insignificant and unimportant. Here's the gig, Lindsay, our job. And you do a brilliant job of it on this show. Our job, if we really want to live a rich life, is gonna help the people that we lead, that we serve, that we love. To know they're important, to know they're significant, to know that they matter. Because when people feel important, they rise to oh, yeah. And when people feel unimportant, they fall to oh, no. And so how do you do it? It comes down to the choice to being more fully present. So here's a way to do that. Simple practical application after this incredible podcast. For the next 30 days, pick out two people in your life, one at work, one at home, who for 30 days, you commit to be more fully present with. Now, it doesn't mean you have to spend more time with them. Your schedule may be such you have less time with them, but when you're with them, put the cell phone away. No more meals where you're three feet away. But all use your cell phone. Ask more than tell. And then do what we rarely actually do. Listen before you formulate your response. Because, Lindsay, when you think about it, most of the time we're not really listening. What do we do? We're thinking about what we're going to say. But take it in first. You'll know what to say after you've taken it in. Look at them with those yield sign eyes. Make sure you're not using your memory to see. And you watch. After a couple of days of committing yourself to it, making the choice, don't worry about perfection, just do it more. They'll look at you different. They're going to go, man, there's something different about you lately. You've been working out your hair. You're looking good. As you become more present with them, you'll develop that muscle until it becomes your comfort zone instead of your confinement zone. So the most important thing that you can do, I believe all because I believe you cannot build trust without being present. I know you cannot help people know they matter without being present. And you'll never have life balance or life rhythm, if you want to call it that, without balance. Because here's the simple truth. Most people think about life balance in terms of equal time. Let's clear it up. You're not going to have equal time. There's 48 hours of stuff to do and 24 hours to do it in, and it ain't gonna change. But five minutes of being fully present with someone is worth five hours of faking it. And you can't fake it. All right. You know, when people are fully present. And so I love to kind of bring this one alive with a simple idea. It says, the past is history, the future a mystery. The gift is now. That's why we call it the present. I got that. My two daughters who are now well grown up, they're both in their 30s now. Well, when they were 8 and 3 one night when I could have been present with them, tucking them in at night right before they went to sleep, cuddling with them, loving them, let them know how important they were. I was in the habit of going in my office two doors from where they slept, getting on the phone, right. And this was kind of before there was cell phones, but. And they walked in my room that night and they looked at me and they said, daddy, can we ask you something? I said, sure, you can ask me anything. And said, daddy, do you love your phone more than you love us? I felt the blade going deep. Emerson said, what? You do scream so loudly, I can't hear a word you're saying. And in that one moment, my daughters taught me that there's nothing I could ever do that was more important as a dad than to being there, being fully present with them. From that night on, I never, ever again missed one of their dance performances. I never missed one, even though I was speaking. If the event coincided with a big event in their life, I would not take it. I never missed one of their dance performances, one of their big school events. And my life got richer, not only personally, but professionally, because I was doing more with the time that I had. If you want to give the ultimate gift to someone, be fully present. Choice.
- [20:04]
Lindsay Anderson
Well said. So you boiled this down to one thing. And I want. I would like for you to further clarify this, which is basically you're saying, and in your life, you focus on people, and if you focus on how you're making other people feel and other people, then your life will be full in exchange. This is what I'm hearing you say. Is that accurate?
- [20:23]
Brian Biro
That is rich. And I want to add a caveat to it, because it's the truth. Whenever you seek to enrich another person's experience, you can't help but enrich your own because you feel, number one, you feel. What's the greatest feeling in the world? I think the greatest feeling in the world is to give to someone. When we serve. Mother Teresa said, service is love in action. And when we genuinely give, and there's a difference, giving with the expectation of receiving, giving in order to get, that's not giving. That's a transaction. But giving, because you love to give, and receiving, because you love to give others the joy of giving. That's when you feel the ultimate high, the ultimate. And whatever you seek to enrich another person's experience, you have to go places you wouldn't have gone had you not made that choice. You have to look for new opportunities. You have to look. Look for ways to express yourself better. So you grow by actually caring about and really seeking to enrich others experience. So it is a full circle. It's. Some of the best leaders I know have one major falling now. They don't understand the power of receiving. Think about it. What is receiving? You get right down it. You really pay attention. Receiving is allowing other people to feel the joy of giving. And whenever you receive poorly is snatch their joy away. And you teach them. If you can't receive well, you teach people that giving can be scary and hurts. When people reject your giving to complete the circle. All right. When you reach out to other people, you seek to give it. Give to them without worrying about what's going to come back. It'll come back tenfold. And you'll learn in the process. When you give and then you receive, you are truly a full leader and a full giver.
- [22:05]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Brian, I'm double underlining everything you're saying over here. I love it. Let me ask you this question. You've now shared with over a million people. The secrets of you have control of your own life. You're not at the width of whatever life is throwing at you. You're actually creating it. What do you feel is like the future of this way of thinking? You have changed a million lives. Are people gonna start thinking this way, Brian?
- [22:31]
Brian Biro
I hope so, because that's my passion. I love what I do with so much joy. I joke about it, Lindsay, but it's the truth. When I'm on stage, I am 25 years old. I get off stage, I'm 70 again. But on stage I'm 25 because I'm willing what I was put under it to do. And what I've noticed is that people who genuinely do focus on controlling their controllables, who stop comparing themselves to other people and instead focus on improving themselves. People who recognize that their joy, their energy, their presence, their vision, our choices, they're happier. One of the books I wrote is It's Time for Joy. How to become the happiest Person you know. And truly, I think that joy comes when you start focusing on controllables. Think about it. Your own self. When you're focused in on what you do control, you feel momentum, you feel confidence growing. It's when you focus on what you don't control, then you get frustrated, angry, you give up. So my vision of this is that the more people do this, the more the better we're going to be as parents. Because when we start using comparison as a tool, as parents, we always set up winners and losers, but mostly we set up losers. Why don't you act more like your brother? All of a sudden the brother's good and you're not. And we didn't have to do that. We could focus in on helping them. When we focus on those things, we create joy and we feel gratitude. And gratitude is the highest emotion of all.
- [23:50]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Brian, in one sentence or less, you've done all of these things. You've written 16 books and everything. There was one thing that you wish you would have known before you got started. What would that be?
- [24:03]
Brian Biro
It would have been that life enriches when you focus on being your best and let go of being the best.
- [24:11]
Lindsay Anderson
Well said, Brian. What a beautiful interview. Thank you so much for your time and your inspiring words. Before I let you go, I'm going to turn the time over to you. Let the audience know how to find you and anything else you want us to know.
- [24:23]
Brian Biro
I would love to have you reach out to me via my website. Speaking is my passion. As I said we talked about on the show, I've spent 34 years to reach a million people. I have. In the next decade. My goal Is to reach 1 million more and that can only happen when people reach out to me to come and speak to their organizations. And my website is brianbyro.com, pretty simple. It's got all the information about how to reach me and I promise you I will get right back to you. I wish you all great joy.
- [24:52]
Lindsay Anderson
Thanks for being a guest on the show, Brian. There you have it folks. A really awesome episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. A big thank you to Brian for coming on the show today. As a reminder, if you are looking for how to make more sales on social media and really connecting with the people on social media instead of just posting content and waiting for customers to come in. If you want to know how to make real connections on social media which will help you build your business, make sure that you're signed up for my upcoming workshop called the Social Media Sales Machine. All you need to do is head over to Lindsay a.com workshop and I'll share with you the who, what, when, where, why and how of how to post on social media to attract high quality relationships, clients and collaboration partners. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. Cheers to you and your success.
- [25:54]
That's a wrap for today's episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share how you're leveling up your business.
- [26:06]
Brian Biro
Want more?
- [26:07]
Lindsay Anderson
Connect with Lindsay Anderson and get the tools you need to crush your goals@lindsaya.com until next time, keep pushing, keep growing and turn those business dreams into reality.