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The Lindsey Anderson Show
The Five Frogs of Change: Building Unshakeable Resilience in Business with Brenda Reynolds
00:24:33
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- [00:00]
Lindsay Anderson
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. I'm so excited for today's topic because it's all about resiliency. Now, most business owners step into this business ownership game fueled by vision, ambition and the dream of creating something bigger than themselves. But the reality, it's a relentless rollercoaster. Unexpected setbacks, failed launches, financial pressure, and the constant battle to stay ahead. The fact is your business is going to run in cycles. You're going to win some, you're going to lose some. And it is key to not get so emotionally caught up in all of this emotional trappings that can be your business, but instead be able to make it through all of the highs and lows with resiliency, knowing that there's a pattern here and knowing that you can get to the other side. And in reality, there's only benefits here because the only way that you're going to grow as a small business owner, as a person, to actually be resilient, go through obstacles, understand who you are, redefine yourself as a person who can now do things that you weren't so sure you could do before. And that creates a new version and vision of yourself. It's really the way you get ahead. It's how you win. And it's why I like to say to my clients and in my agency, fail forward faster. It is not failure. Everything is a test. When you test it out, there's stuff that works, stuff that doesn't. Take that data and move on. Because you will never be able to make this business succeed if you're worried about quote, unquote, failing. Instead, it's a test, it's a lesson. And it really is the only way and when handled correctly, the shortcut for building the business of your dreams. Now I'm here and I'm excited to welcome today's guest, Ms. Brenda Reynolds. She's going to bring us her simple system for developing resiliency. We talk about this cycle and I'm so excited to welcome her on.
- [02:11]
Brenda Reynolds
Are you ready for next level growth in your business? Welcome to the Lindsay Anderson show where we pull back the curtain on the exact strategies, tools and mindsets that build million dollar empires. If you're hungry for more time, more freedom and a whole lot more impact, you've come to the right place. Buckle up because we're about to ignite your business journey. Now here's Lindsay.
- [02:42]
Lindsay Anderson
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. I'm so excited for today's guest, Ms. Brenda Reynolds. Now, Brenda is a leadership and change expert, TEDx speaker and best selling author. She helps leaders navigate transition and uncertainty with practical strategies that turn now what moments into opportunities for growth. Brenda has worked with top organizations like McDonald's, QVC and Goldman Sachs, equipping leaders with the mindset and tools to lead through change with confidence. Today we're going to be breaking down resilience and how to really approach resilience as a leader. She has a five step framework she's going to lead us through. I'm so excited to welcome to the show, Brenda. Welcome to the show, Brenda. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do.
- [03:29]
Brenda Reynolds
So I work with organizations, teams and leaders to help them, especially during times of change and transition, navigate it to some positive outcome. I like to say mastering the now what moment. We all get faced with them at work and at home. And how do you convert your now what to why not?
- [03:47]
Lindsay Anderson
Interesting. Can you give me a hardcore example of that? Put this into play for me, Brenda.
- [03:53]
Brenda Reynolds
Yeah, how hardcore do we want to go? Honestly, my inspiration came in 2008 because my life was taking a nosedive at the same time the economy was. I had my own consulting practice, but I was being divorced unexpectedly with two little boys, no guaranteed income, no health benefits and a lot of decisions to make. And so every part of my life needed to change. And as I was navigating that time, I remember thinking, I feel so fortunate that I have the background and experience I do about working through change because it came in handy for me and I wanted to share some of those things with leaders because frankly, that's the job description of a leader is navigating now what moments? Navigating uncertainty. If we didn't have uncertainty in our organizations, we wouldn't need leaders. It's why they exist. And so I began really focusing on that and doubling down on it with my client systems and in my coaching programs.
- [04:56]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Tell me, Brenda, why is developing resiliency and being more resilient such a critical skill in today's business world?
- [05:06]
Brenda Reynolds
Holy moly. Well, turn on the news and you'll get a clue. The world is shifting under our feet every single day. I have clients that I'm working with who are really up in the air. They've got federal funding that has been stopped. They have major reorganizations going on. They're trying to create cultures that can attract key talent. So there is so much, I think the landscape right now is especially volatile and turbulent. So now is the time for that. And what's funny, Lindsay, is when I wrote My first book, tbd, Leading with Clarity and confidence in Uncertain Times. It was 2017, and the only debate I had with my editor was whether we should use the word uncertain. Because she said, no one uses that word. Right. I held firm and said, no, we're using that word. Flash forward to the pandemic. Flash forward to what we are experiencing today. And you can't get through a news broadcast without hearing the word uncertain or uncertainty.
- [06:10]
Lindsay Anderson
That's right. That's right. Your book was very timely. You chose the right word.
- [06:14]
Brenda Reynolds
Had no idea. Wish I had known.
- [06:17]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. What is one of the biggest mistakes that leaders make when trying to lead through uncertainty or change?
- [06:24]
Brenda Reynolds
One of them is cheerleading the change. Leaders think that cheerleading the change will make it suddenly okay for people, and it isn't. It just comes across as disingenuous. It comes across as toxic positivity. It comes across as, oh, here's a leader who's not really in touch with how this change is going to impact me or our department or our world. And yet that's what leaders tend to do because they're further down the road in adjusting to the change than the employee is. So they've worked through the emotional part of the change, which we really do need to talk about change. How do you define change and how do you define transition? And they're very different, but the leader who doesn't take a moment to remember they're further along in the process than their employees will lose credibility.
- [07:18]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah. I would love to ask you, what's the definition for you between change and transition?
- [07:23]
Brenda Reynolds
The change we usually have down. Right. I always use the example of moving from one home to the next. We know what we have to do. We can map it out on a project plan. We've got to get the house ready. We've got to figure out where we're moving to. We're packing up, we're hiring a realtor. All of the things. We're good at mapping the things. And many leaders are good at mapping the things of the change plan. But what doesn't get put on that strategy is how is this change going to affect the people? Because you can have an incredible continuous improvement effort, take wings and try to make a more efficient operation. But if in the end, the people are rebelling, the people are reluctant, then it's going to deep six all of your efforts. Effort. So right alongside of that, tactical planning needs for change needs a strategy for managing the transition. And the transition is the psychological and emotional journey we go on. Right alongside of all of the changes that are happening.
- [08:30]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Can you paint out a picture for me about leaders who tend to not navigate change very well versus those that do? What is the big difference here in terms of the output?
- [08:42]
Brenda Reynolds
The output is. And I'll tell you a story to illustrate it.
- [08:45]
Lindsay Anderson
Great.
- [08:45]
Brenda Reynolds
It was a client system that had hired Big Bus, spent millions of dollars on a continuous improvement organization to come in and do some work in their hospital system. And they came in and did their process and then they left. And then I got the phone call that says, hey, they streamlined our processes. We've got new procedures, but the problem is no one's using them. Everyone's doing an end run. Nobody wants to do it differently than what they're accustomed to. So this is blowing up in our faces. And so could you come in and help us with the people component now? So I would say really good leaders do a nice job of managing themselves through the change and transition and then engaging others and having a good communication strategy for how to roll out the change on an emotional level with good communication, with opportunities to engage people in decision making, with good town halls, updates and authenticity. That's the other thing. I once worked for a leader who herself was going through a big personal change with. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and everyone knew it, but she never missed a minute of work, never talked about it, and would not even acknowledge it was happening to her. And it became very awkward for everyone on her team because it felt like the message was, well, when you go through a big life thing, you just don't talk about it. You pretend it's not happening, and you show up no matter what. So I think she really lost credibility points by not being authentic and walking that line between not wanting to throw someone else under the bus for the change that's happening, or saying, yeah, you know, CEO made this decision. I don't like it either. You don't want to do that, but you also don't want to act like it isn't happening or like it's automatically going to make everyone's life better. Because typically, in short order, it doesn't. It makes it messier, makes sense.
- [10:49]
Lindsay Anderson
Why is resiliency the cure or the number one skill you need in order to navigate uncertainty?
- [10:55]
Brenda Reynolds
I describe resiliency as, you know, it's. We develop it over time. So we get to this moment, we go, I can't do. And then. But we do it. And then we hit another moment where that voice in our head says, but I can't do that. But we do it to the point where that happens enough that we get to the next moment where we're tempted to say, I can't do that. And instead we say, I can do that. I've done it before. And I think it's cycling through those moments to time and time again that create resilience. And in the five Frogs framework, the last stage of this is the S stage. And I say that this is where we get to crown a more sovereign, stronger, expanded, resilient version of ourselves because we've gone through so much to build that muscle.
- [11:51]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. What is that last stage called, Brenda?
- [11:54]
Brenda Reynolds
I call it the sovereign stage. The sovereign stage. It was like, hey, when I was going through my divorce, my attorney said to me, brenda, this is how the book got its name. Whatever you do, don't come in here and tell me about any prince who's going to save the day for you until you have kissed at least five frogs. Now, that sounded foreign to me, but fast forward, frogs kept showing up in my life. And I talk about this in the first chapter of the book. And it struck me much later that the FROGS was actually an acronym for all of the changes I was going through. And it's an acronym for the changes that leaders and businesses go through, too. And so in that first stage, this is the now what stage. This is where things feel like they're falling apart.
- [12:41]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah. So what do you call the first stage? So FROGS is the framework. So we already have the end. We all want to be sovereign. The sovereign stage where we have all of the resiliency. So let's step by step this. So stage one is what.
- [12:53]
Brenda Reynolds
It's kind of what it sounds like. It's all the F stuff. It's freaking out. It's the stage where things are falling apart, where we say F this where our feelings are raw and emotion, Our emotions are running high. And that's the messiest part. I always say it's like being the tadpole. You're swimming around, you got no legs, you can't jump, you can't do a lot. You just. You're trying to get by as a little tadpole. So that's the F stage when we freak out.
- [13:20]
Lindsay Anderson
Okay, step two.
- [13:22]
Brenda Reynolds
R R. This is where new responsibilities start coming our way. For example, when I was being divorced, a whole lot of new things were coming my way as a single parent that I needed to take care of or in running the house that I never had to before. It's also a stage where we should pause to reflect and reframe what's happening? So the reflection is also, what's my responsibility now? Or what was my responsibility in getting to this place? And then what do I need to reframe? I had somebody say to me, actually my six year old son said to me that day, it is what it is, mom, but it doesn't have to be bad. From the mouth of babes.
- [14:09]
Lindsay Anderson
From the mouth of babes. I love that. I love that. So freaking out stage to reframing the freak out to better serve you. What's the oath?
- [14:19]
Brenda Reynolds
Oh, my gosh. Over time, I'm overcoming obstacles. Is that enough O words for you, Lindsay?
- [14:23]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, it is. Like you have filled this acronym with all of the right words, Brenda.
- [14:27]
Brenda Reynolds
Okay. Yeah. Because big or small, we have to overcome the obstacles. Whether you're leading a big reorganization or you're running a small team with a big change going on, there are going to be obstacles that come our way. So we overcome them big and small. And then G G, I think I'm growing because from all of that comes growth. Whether we realize it or not, we can't help but grow. And we grow through adversity, we grow through change, and then through that we come to the wow. I'm a different version of myself. I'm more confident in this thing I went through. I'm stronger. When I was going through my life challenges, I kept saying to people, I want the next phase of my life to feel like this. And I would throw my arms out in front of me. But I didn't know what I was trying to say. It wasn't until I wrote the book that I realized I was trying to say I want to live an expansive life. What are the dreams I haven't lived yet? What are the things I haven't done? What does this new freedom afford me? I. On the other side of any change, people are now positioned to ask the same questions. Why not do this thing? Why not? So on the other side of the now, what is the why not? And the opportunity to expand.
- [15:48]
Lindsay Anderson
I love, I love how you've boiled this down, burn it into a very simple five step framework. I've always found that if you can recognize these patterns in your life because you go through the same pattern in business, you freak out of a new problem, you have new responsibilities, you overcome it, you change, and then you own this change. And this happens in business, as you know. And I find that it's really useful to see the pattern because when you're in the freaking out mode, you're like, okay, this is just like A part of this. It's part of the cycle, and it makes it a lot more palatable because you understand the pattern.
- [16:21]
Brenda Reynolds
It normalizes it. So you can. Yeah, and you're still gonna freak out. And you want to, because if you don't, that's unprocessed emotion that's going to come back and haunt you later. And by the way, that's true in organizational change, too. If people don't get a chance to sort of vent or freak out on some level, appropriately, all of that feeling, like when you do a big rift, for example, and people are just expected to show up and act like nothing bad just happened, but it did. They have survivor guilt, for example, all of those feelings get embedded in the culture. And so then years later, something happens and everybody gets triggered. And there's a trust issue. It's because we didn't go through the F stage with the organization and the team to the extent that we needed to.
- [17:11]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. So if you were to give everybody listening one key tip on developing better resiliency as a leader, what is your number one tip you're going to give us today? Brenda?
- [17:22]
Brenda Reynolds
I'm going to say slow down. Okay, here's what I mean by that. When change hits, it often puts us in another F word, right. Frenzy. And in that frenzy, we stop really reflecting. We stop being intentional. We stop being as strategic as we could be. And our frenzy as a leader infects everyone around us. So I'll do a quick activity for you and the listeners, Lindsay. If you think about the upper and left hand corners of your computer, I want you to just look to the space I direct you to. So look to the left corner, look to the right corner. Right, left, left, left, left, right, right, left. Were you breathing when you did that?
- [18:06]
Lindsay Anderson
No, I wasn't, Brenda.
- [18:07]
Brenda Reynolds
And many of us go through entire days in a frenzy where we're not even breathing. And so we can't do good work that way. And when I catch myself in that mode, I literally move slower, talk slower, make sure I take a moment to breathe on occasion. Otherwise, we just have a lot of people working for us who aren't breathing either, and we can't be intentional and make good choices that way.
- [18:33]
Lindsay Anderson
Solid tip there, Brenda. Solid tip. Okay, now here's my question for you, which is, we're in the world of AI now, right? So much technology. How do you find that plays into helping people be more resilient? Is there a place for AI in that? Does that even fit in here?
- [18:48]
Brenda Reynolds
Brenda, What a slippery slope. AI has its time and place, right, But I think the hard and scary part about it is people are in the F stage around AI too, because once it's unleashed, it's already unleashed. You can't put it back in if it's used for good, not evil. But I think it could be tricky. I've made a commitment to the people who read my newsletter, and my commitment is, you're going to get my words. I want to remain authentic. I want you to know I could whip this newsletter out in no time flat if I let myself use AI and I'm not going to. And yet I have a leader on coaching right now who had to create this very complicated new work schedule for her organization. And I said, how did you pull all of that together so fast? And she said, my friend, you know, my AI tool that helped me to figure it all out. So I think it's going to keep us in that change process because AI is ever evolving and we're going to have to keep adapting to. What does this mean?
- [19:51]
Lindsay Anderson
We're going to have to frog that all day long, you know? Yeah, I agree. All right, Brenda, you've done so many things. You're very accomplished. You've been doing this for a long time. What is one thing you wish you would have known before you started?
- [20:06]
Brenda Reynolds
What I wish I would have known is to not overly focus on the gap. And I still have to relearn that. We do something and then a minute we do it, we discount it, we go, wow, yeah, I did it, so it can't be that big of a deal. And then we get really focused on the stuff we haven't done yet. And we compare ourselves to others and we worry about how far we have yet to go. And when we do that, we're just never enjoying the journey. We're always worrying about what we haven't done yet. Instead of pausing to celebrate, I actually call it self abrate, where you pat yourself on the back and say, damn, I'm good. Look at that thing I just pulled off. Or look at that thing I just did. We just keep hurrying on to the next thing. And so I think that with age comes wisdom. And I think that's just some of the stuff that I practice way better now than I used to so that I can enjoy the journey.
- [21:02]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Brenda. Brenda, what a great interview. Thank you so much for sharing your time and your insights here. I'm going to turn the time over to you, tell everybody how to find you and anything else you want the audience to know the best way to.
- [21:13]
Brenda Reynolds
Find me is on my website, which is brendatheletter K reynolds.com and there you'll find out anything you want to know about my consulting, my coaching, a coming together women's program that I run for leaders and both my books. Here's my beautiful cover if I do say so, or the five Frogs Transformation Journal. And if you're a leader feeling like you need a crystal ball to help you manage change, I've got one for you. It's right here on the COVID of tbd and you can always reach me. All my contact information is right there on the email and through social media as well.
- [21:50]
Lindsay Anderson
Thank you Brenda. Appreciate having you on the show today.
- [21:53]
Brenda Reynolds
Thanks for having me, Lindsay. It was a delight.
- [21:57]
Lindsay Anderson
There you have it, folks, another awesome episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. A great big thank you to Brenda Reynolds for coming on the show and sharing her wisdom about building resiliency in your business. Now, success in your business is not about avoiding obstacles. It's about building the resiliency to navigate them and to be a better person on the other side. And really the difference between understanding that and building resiliency is the thing that will make a business owner succeed and one that will not. I'm so excited about that episode. A big thank you to Brenda for coming on the show today and sharing her system for developing resiliency. This is a skill that can be learned. Once you understand and learn the pattern. It can make what you're doing in business and building a business so much easier because you see the pattern and that you wouldn't be able to get ahead without this gift called obstacles. So a big thank you to Brenda for coming on the show. Now if you're looking to scale your business with social media and you want to create social media with a system that sells like most people think, social media is a content game that is one piece of the puzzle. But if you don't have the other pieces, then social media will not convert for you. If you're a business owner who is looking to create a high quality lead generation stream from social media, make sure you head over to Lindsay a.com apply and apply for a free social media strategy session with me. On this session we'll go over what kind of content you should be posting, how you should be engaging with your ideal customers, how you're going to convert that audience into real paying clients and how we can do that at scale. Head over to Lindsay a.com apply and apply now for a social media strategy session with me. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. Cheers to you and your success. Foreign.
- [24:05]
Brenda Reynolds
That'S a wrap for today's episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. If you love this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share how you're leveling up your business. Want more? Connect with Lindsay Anderson and get the tools you need to crush your goals@lindsaya.com until next time, keep pushing, keep growing, and turn those business dreams into reality.