← The Lindsey Anderson Show
Loading summary
Transcript54 lines
- [00:00]
Lindsay Anderson
Mindset, how you see yourself, how you handle pressure. It's one of the most important pieces of the puzzle when it comes to success, whether that be in business, sports or life. Now on this podcast, I do a ton of strategy. I love to give you key takeaways, things you can actually go and apply. And today I'm bringing in somebody who lives and breathes mental performance at the very highest level. While it may not be strategy, today we're talking mindset. Dr. Haley Perlis is a sports psychologist who works with elite athletes, helping them build their mental toughness to win. And what's cool about her work, she can literally see if it works on the field. She's not just talking theory here. Her strategies are tested in high stakes environments. In this episode, she breaks down how to train your brain like you train your body, giving you hands on tools to push through all of the fear, self doubt and pressure. And of course, I had to ask at the very end, is AI changing how we train the mind? Stick around for the end for her take on that. Now, before we hop into today's episode, if you're ready to apply real strategy to your business, you and I need to talk. If you're serious about using social media to actually generate more clients, instead of just posting and hoping for the best, I'm offering a free social media strategy session. But only for those who qualify. Apply now by heading over to Lindsay a dot com. Apply. Now let's dive into today's interview.
- [01:36]
Are you ready for next level growth in your business? Welcome to the Lindsay Anderson show where we pull back the curtain on the exact strategies, tools and mindsets that build million dollar empires. If you're hungry for more time, more freedom and a whole lot more impact, you've come to the right place. Buckle up because we're about to ignite your business journey. Now here's Lindsay.
- [02:06]
Hey everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. Today. I'm really excited for today's guest, Dr. Haley Perlis. She is a leading expert in sports and performance psychology and keynote speaker and author. She has worked with elite athletes, business leaders and high achievers to help them develop the mental toughness needed to perform at their peak. With background as both an athlete and psychologist, Dr. Perlis combines science backed strategies with real world experience to help people master their mindset and excel under pressure. Today she is solving the problem of mindset mastery for high performers. We're going to dive in and solve this problem today with Dr. Perlis. Welcome to the show. So glad you're On.
- [02:51]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I'm thrilled to be here. I'm a student of yours. I learn from you all the time. Your podcast, your LinkedIn posts, your LinkedIn lives so well.
- [02:59]
Lindsay Anderson
I'm so glad you're here. I'm glad we connected. This is really fantastic. Why don't you tell us just a little bit about your background and what drew you into sports and performance psychology.
- [03:09]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yeah, I'll do both with one story.
- [03:11]
Lindsay Anderson
Okay.
- [03:11]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I was an athlete growing up. I was a sea racer in Canada and I was pretty good at 12. And at this juvenile world championships, my coach pulled out a hundred dollar bill, placed it in front of my face just before I'm about to go and told me that he bet on me to win. He then told me that he lost betting on a different athlete in a race a week before that I was not in. And he looked at me straight faced and he said, I'm not prepared to lose today. He then pointed me in the direction of the starting gates, smiled, and told me to go have fun. So in this moment, which is really the foundation of what I like to share, in this moment, I was at an emotional and a mental fork in the road. On one hand, I could feel anger, fear, frustration, worry. If my coach is betting on me, how angry can I be that he's letting me know, what if I make a mistake? What if he's wrong? On the flip side, Challenge, passion, confident, hopeful. If my coach is betting on me, doesn't that mean he believes in me? If he believes in me, why shouldn't I believe in myself? Now, I can't tell you that. At 12 years old, with the 10 seconds that I had left, I stood there and I said, haley, you're at an emotional and a mental fork in the road. What are you going to do to be your best? But I do remember thinking, wow, if my coach has high expectations, doesn't that mean I'm doing something right? And then I remembered of all the things I am doing right and that I can do. And I went down that race. I won. My coach came down, congratulated me, kept the 100 bucks for himself. But he said something to me that created my life. He said, it's amazing what your performance can be when you get your head straight. And then two weeks later, he brought a sports psychologist to come and speak to my team. And I went home at 12 and I told my parents that I wanted to be a sports site gal when I grew up.
- [05:08]
Lindsay Anderson
Wow. And the rest is history. What a great story. Yes. All from a really wonderful Coach, that's really fantastic. Now, I know you work with a lot of high performers across different fields. What's the most common mental blocks that prevent people from reaching their full potential?
- [05:25]
Dr. Haley Perlis
It's embracing that stress, it's embracing that pressure. You know, in sport, it's a common theme for someone to come to me and say, I can do it in practice, but I can't do it. Competition. And I think in the business world and even in health and fitness, certainly when you're your own entrepreneur and your own, you know, the pressure, when the pressure gets high, we start imposter syndrome. We start to freak out. We start to go back to I can't do it. We start to think that everyone else is better than us. What are they doing that we're not? So we lose the things that make us unique. So I really like to help people not just embrace stress, but really expose yourself to this pressure so that you can perform your best when it counts.
- [06:07]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. And, you know, this is the wildest thing about being a high performer and pushing yourself in many different areas is it feels like even the best continue to struggle with this. This isn't something that disappears. Why is that?
- [06:25]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Because that stress is never going to get easier. It, you know, you may be okay now. I've gotten this under control. Well, what's next? And because we are high achievers, we like mastery. We like to strive for what's even better out there. We want fulfillment, so we want to go for more and more and more and more and more. And the stress is never going to feel any lighter because we're always going for what's next. What's next? That growth and opportunity.
- [06:53]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, it's so true. Now, this is commonly argued, right? Is it a skill set issue or is it a mindset issue? Why we're not getting to where we want to go. How does mindset actually impact performance in business or personal or life?
- [07:08]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I believe mindset is a skill. I believe we have to have the right motivation, which is a skill, the right confidence, which is unshakable. The climate doesn't come and go with the result. So unshakable confidence, which is a skill. Concentration is absolutely a skill. And anxiety control. So I believe that mindset is a skill. But it all starts. This is where the art of it comes in, the science. It all comes with the stories we tell ourselves.
- [07:34]
Lindsay Anderson
Interesting. Yeah, absolutely. And because it's the stories we tell ourselves, we have full permission to change every single one of those and rewrite them.
- [07:43]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yes, yes. And it's just our thinking. Here's a good tip. It's just our thinking. We don't have to believe everything we think. That's right.
- [07:53]
Lindsay Anderson
Step one.
- [07:53]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yes, we can. Literally. I say to myself all the time, Hayley, it's just your thinking out of this, you know, and then let's. What's the more productive thought that's going to help me here?
- [08:04]
Lindsay Anderson
And so is your biggest. Well, let me dive into this. If someone feels stuck with that self doubt or pressure, they've seen a social media post that has triggered them where this high performer is suddenly turning inside. What is the first step they should take?
- [08:18]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I love the technique of countering. It's not looking on the bright side. It's not necessarily changing the story, but it's poking holes at the story you already have and convincing yourself with real facts and truths why this isn't 100% accurate. So I'm somewhat new to social media. I've only been doing it for a year and a half and I can't. If I say to myself, oh, I just suck at this post. I've never. I can't get it. Wait a second, Hayley, is that absolutely true? How do I know? Well, this post didn't have very many viewers or likes, but last week it did. So I start poking holes at my negative statement, countering, and then that allows me to kind of free. I kind of get unstuck on that negative statement, kind of open myself to be more curious about what opportunities lie, where I can see some growth that I've had, where I can explore this, experiment with that, learn from this person.
- [09:17]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. Okay, so we need to start poking holes. And in that series of being curious and asking yourself a ton of questions about your perception and how it's a little clouded right now can really result in freeing yourself up from that self doubt that can be so crippling for so many.
- [09:32]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Right? So you just ask yourself, is that really true or is that really, honestly 100% the truth with the intent of poking holes in it?
- [09:41]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, I like that. Can you, Haley, share a story of a leader or an athlete that you've helped that just transformed their entire performance by shifting their mindset?
- [09:50]
Dr. Haley Perlis
This is one of my favorite stories. I was working with an athlete who came to me, as I mentioned before, nailed it in practice, can't do in. In competition, and we discovered a mental block and this individual was intimidated by three specific opponents. So in practice it was all about what he can do to get better. And in competition it was all about what they're doing better, what they're going to do to beat him. The interesting thing is that those opponents were also his teammates. So they were there in practice when he was focusing on his own growth and they were there in performance when he was only focusing on what they're going to do that's better. So we looked at it and we reframed. Instead of saying, oh no, what are they going to do to beat me? We created a script. Took a little bit to get there, but we created a script, a story that ended up like this. Thank you opponents for showing up today. I want you to do your best today because I'm going to use your energy to motivate me to bring my best energy and kick your butt. So instead of using them as intimidation, he used them as motivation. I'm going to get inspired by your energy and I'm going to raise my game and then focus in on what he has to do to beat you. And I think it's really important. I experience this all the time. Again, new to social media, so I'll just stick with that example. I can look at everyone who has huge lists and amazing posts and I could just get intimidated or I could look and say, thank you, I want to raise my game. I'm going to use your energy, I'm going to look at you and see what you're doing and then I'm going to see how I can tweak it and twist it to fit my style and then ultimately I am competitive and beat you.
- [11:34]
Lindsay Anderson
And so what was the summary of his mindset shift?
- [11:37]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Oh, of course, yes. So he came to me in February and fast forward three months, April, he went off to Sweden to compete in the Junior World Championships. Not only did he beat his opponents, he became the Junior World champion.
- [11:51]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that your work is so unique and so it is very much based on wins and losses. So way to go.
- [11:58]
Dr. Haley Perlis
That's true. That's like the melody.
- [11:59]
Lindsay Anderson
That's a great area around here.
- [12:03]
Dr. Haley Perlis
But that's what I also like. It either works or it doesn't work. Yeah, and the cool thing about performance psychology is that we're talking about one technique to focus on one mental block. But if that doesn't work, there are others. There is an art to this science, which is what I love.
- [12:18]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, now I know mindset shifts are a series like repetitive habits and reteaching yourself new ways to do things and think. How can people build long term habits for mental resilience? What are your best tips here?
- [12:33]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yeah, you're right, we are. Don't quote me on the number. But something like 90% of what we do and how we think is habitual. But every single habit started off as a ritual, something we did once, and then we pushed ourselves to do it again and again and again and with repetition and frequency. That ritual that we were consciously doing became a subconscious habit. So it's the exact same thing with our minds. Think of a thought as a thought seed. And as I said before, it's just our thought if it's a good one. And we want to believe it and we want to use it and we want to create a habit of it just to see. We have to give it tender love and care. We have to fertilize the seed, we have to repeat it, and we have to push ourselves with calendar reminders, with post it notes, with having our accountability partners tell us about it. Repetition and frequency of that thought seed. It will grow and grow and grow. A process called myelination. It grows and grows and grows and becomes our habitual thought. And then the old unhelpful thoughts, use it or lose it. Like every muscle, it just atrophies and goes away. But we need to make a choice. Own that new thought, own that new story, and then we must push ourselves to repeat it every single day, time and time again so that it grows and becomes a habit.
- [13:54]
Lindsay Anderson
I love that. A literal definition of mental toughness. We're actually doing the reps here, period.
- [13:59]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yes. You gotta work for it.
- [14:01]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah. Now, obviously in terms of business and athletes, you're going to have wins, you're going to have losses. Like, this is just life. And so what is your go to strategy for? If I just had a huge failure or a huge setback, what's my strategy here?
- [14:18]
Dr. Haley Perlis
So remember this, the greatest performers are not the perfect performers. They are the performers that best recover. We have to have that mindset of do I strive for perfection? I absolutely. But I'm also striving to be the best recoverer I can be. So that's really, really important to know. And how do I recover? I like everyone to have three, no more than three, but one to three fundamental strengths. In sports, they always say the best professional athletes say that it always comes down to the fundamentals. So whenever they get overwhelmed, whenever they feel stuck, whenever they're negative, they just bring it back to a fundamental skill. All of us, whatever you're doing in an entrepreneur consulting coaching world, we all have fundamental strengths. So when we have a setback, I would like to immediately get back on the path of success. And I'm going to get back on the path of success highlighting one of my strengths. And so get back on the path of success. Use one of your three fundamental strengths, get back into that emotional state. And then when you, when it's the opportunity, you can go and learn from that failure, but you're going to be learning from it from a curiosity standpoint and not an emotional judgmental standpoint.
- [15:32]
Lindsay Anderson
Okay. Okay. Can you talk a little bit more about these three strengths? How do we know what those are?
- [15:38]
Dr. Haley Perlis
You can do it two ways. One is you can ask someone who knows you. How would you. Someone that's going to be honest, someone that you trust, someone that you believe believes in you. Or just sit down for a moment and reflect on a past peak performance, reflect on a past highlight of your life and write down what characteristics were there. So for me, I like the words. I use the words bright, full heart and a strength finder. And that's when I'm working with people. So this is, that's when I'm doing my consulting where I public speaking. So if I get a little bit overwhelmed or if I lose something or I stumble or I forget something, you know, I'm immediately going to look out into the audience and find someone's strength and I'm just going to embrace that and pull it out from them. Whether I see them standing tall, I'm going to acknowledge that they're looking confident today. I'm going to acknowledge someone's smile. I'm going to, I'm just going to look it out there and highlight someone's strengths, which allows me to reset.
- [16:37]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, I like that. Great tips. So we've talked a lot about sports psychology. I know that is your background, but can you tell us just a little bit how business owners and entrepreneurs can apply mental toughness principles to their work? How important is it to a business owner or an entrepreneur?
- [16:53]
Dr. Haley Perlis
If I can go through those four skills, I'll give one for each of those four. So when it comes to motivation, there's two types, and I like to call it trophy and heart motivation. Trophy motivation is the outcome. The praise, the money, the popularity. That's the trophy motivation. And then we have the heart motivation, which is feeling like you are effective, feeling like you have autonomy and agency, feeling like you belong, you're contributing. One of the biggest mistakes we make, which help, which creates burnout and takes away from mental toughness, is losing sight of the heart and only focusing on the trophy. So one way to maintain mental toughness is to make sure that we're balancing both heart and trophy like my trophies. But we have to make sure that we're balancing heart so that we have sustained motivation, which is mental toughness. When it comes to confidence, you can have confidence that comes and goes with the results. So we call that shakeable confidence, or you can have confidence that is unshakable. Focusing on, did you make the number of calls that you set out to do today? Doesn't matter if they picked up, doesn't matter if it was a successful call. Did you pick up the. The phone? I like to do this, but we.
- [18:03]
Lindsay Anderson
Don'T really know one knows what that is.
- [18:07]
Dr. Haley Perlis
But did you follow through on the plan? Did you expose yourself to something? Did you learn something? Did you take a risk at something? That's the unshakable confidence when it comes to concentration. Mental toughness is about identifying what is irrelevant and what is relevant in any moment. And that's a skill set because we are bombarded by all these different distractions and stimuli, external and internal. Mental toughness is being able to say, okay, right now, Lindsay, you are the only thing that matters to me right now. Does not matter. Everything else is irrelevant. And when we're done, no offense, you'll become irrelevant. And then I choose something else that's relevant, but it's the discipline to follow through. And then last but not least, mental toughness is about anxiety control. And one tip that I have for business owners and coaches. Remember, if you're especially with the people that you're coaching or people that are listening and watching this podcast, we chose this because somewhere along the lines we believed we could do something. Somewhere along the lines we care. And that is why we feel the pressure. We don't feel pressure about things we don't believe we can do or pressures about things we don't care about. We feel the anxiety and the nervous because we believe in ourselves. We want something to happen. So mental toughness is really bringing on pressure. Bring it on stress. Because that means actually in the right place.
- [19:35]
Lindsay Anderson
I like that. I like that. They do say, and I'm probably gonna misquote this, I probably shouldn't even say this to you. Cause it's not my expertise. But like fear, like anxiety and excitement are like really close to the same feeling. Is that correct?
- [19:49]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yeah. So Mihaly csikshimahy say that 10 times fast. He's the founder of Flow State, if you've heard of flow being in the zone, peak experience. And he has this chart and it's arousal and anxiety and there's a very clear difference between the two. And it's actually confidence. When we're feeling anxiety, that fear, that frustration, that worry, often, you know, low self belief, low confidence, doubt creeps in. But when you're feeling the arousal, the nervousness, you're the excitement, you still. It's going to be challenging, but I know I can make something happen here if I really put forth the effort. That's the difference. Fine line.
- [20:26]
Lindsay Anderson
Yeah, Interesting. Okay, I want to turn just for the final portion of the podcast. AI is really changing the world. I think everybody can kind of agree. So I would love to hear your thoughts on how AI is changing the game in the sports psychology field.
- [20:43]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Such a great question. It's interesting. A very close friend of mine just texted me like three days ago and says, I asked my bot what I should ask my kids after their sports practice. And then he texted me this, like, list of questions. And they were good questions. And so I replied back and I got, you know, I'm gonna have to think about a new career. But however, on the same day, I got a text message from a parent. So I am just talking about sport here, but it happens all the time in my consulting practice in business as well. But I got a text saying, thank you for working with my daughter. She really appreciates all your advice and appreciates the fact that you care so much and these bods don't care. That's right. And so I think you can get that content that way. And I'd like to just focus on the human connection. I know you talk about relationship a lot, and so I'm staying focused and true to the relationships that I'm creating as well with everyone that I work with.
- [21:44]
Lindsay Anderson
It is the thing we will have over bots is emotions and the humanness. I love that. I love that. So if there's one thing that the audience can take away from this conversation that you hope that the audience takes away from this conversation, what would it be, Hailey?
- [21:57]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I really think a very high impact piece is remember when you are feeling that stress, that anxiety, when you bring back your strengths, when you say, okay, I'm going to focus on one to three of these strengths. Remember how you said the difference between anxiety and excitement is really actually leading with one of your strengths and exposing yourself to that stress with your strengths. And that will take it from anxiety to excitement because it puts you back in a place of perceived control and a perceived confidence with that excitement.
- [22:31]
Lindsay Anderson
Sounds like a real mindset hack right there. To end the show with Haley now Before I let you go, I'm going to turn the time over to you. Let the listeners know how to find you and anything else you want them to know.
- [22:42]
Dr. Haley Perlis
Yes, thank you. The best place is my website. So Dr. Just Dr.haleyperless.com there you can access my masterclasses where you can talk to me directly. I get all of the messages when you opt in. Find out about my new book and everything there is to know about what I'm putting out there. All the content from my website. Best place to connect with me.
- [23:02]
Lindsay Anderson
I love it. Hailey, thank you so much for being a guest on the show.
- [23:04]
Dr. Haley Perlis
I appreciate you having me.
- [23:08]
Lindsay Anderson
That was such an incredible conversation with Dr. Haley Perlis. Mental toughness isn't just for athletes. It's for anyone who wants to perform at their very highest level. Whether that's in business or leadership or life. The way we train our minds directly impacts our success. And I love how she broke it down on this episode into real, actionable steps. Thank you for joining me on this episode. If you got value from the episode, here's what we need you to do next. Number one, share this episode with a friend or a colleague that you think would benefit from this episode. Number two please subscribe and leave a review. It helps if more people discover the show, the more you can subscribe and leave a review. And then finally, if you're ready to stop winging it on social media and actually start generating consistent leads and sales, let's map out a strategy that works for you. You can apply now for a free strategy session with me by heading over to Lindsay a.com apply cheers to you and your success.
- [24:11]
That's a wrap for today's episode of the Lindsay Anderson Show. If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share how you're leveling up your business. Want more? Connect with Lindsay Anderson and get the tools you need to crush your goals at lindsaya. Com. Until next time, keep pushing, keep growing and turn those business dreams into reality.