Living Your Legacy Podcast

Episode: Author & Relationship Coach: Rewriting Your Love Story After Failure
Host: Rudy Mawer
Guest: Randa Dutcher
Date: February 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt conversation, Rudy Mawer sits down with Randa Dutcher—faith-driven singer, speaker, author, and relationship coach—to explore the possibility of reclaiming and rebuilding love after failure. Randa, a mother of five, shares her vulnerable journey of divorcing and remarrying her high school sweetheart and how her personal experiences now inform her coaching and creative work. The episode dives into candid lessons about forgiveness, self-discovery, open communication, overcoming personal limits, and holding space for hard conversations in relationships. Randa’s story illustrates that no narrative is too broken to become beautiful again.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Randa’s Remarkable Story (00:00–05:04)

• Double Marriage & Self-Discovery:
  • Randa remarried her ex-husband after a two-and-a-half-year separation following divorce during her fifth pregnancy.
  • The breakup period became a time for personal growth and self-realization:

    "In that two and a half year span, I really found myself... I had like the second childhood with my parents, along with raising five kids as a single mom. I had three jobs... it was a lot... and because I worked on me, my ex husband at the time was like, wow, she's actually really great. And I miss her." — Randa Dutcher (04:07–05:04)

Key Relationship Lessons & Principles (05:15–07:54)

• Taking Responsibility & Self-Fulfillment:

  • Randa discusses how both parties contributed to the downfall of the marriage, with her own lack of fulfillment leading to controlling behavior.
  • Recognizing personal responsibility was central to healing:

    “I became a Nagaholic. I just was controlling and I wanted it my way... I lacked fulfillment and I didn't know how to connect or be vulnerable.” — Randa Dutcher (05:25–06:05)

• Vulnerability & Safe Communication:

  • Value of having a safe space with a partner to share “anything and everything,” no matter how messy:

    “…We can really talk about anything. He could tell me I'm thinking about robbing a bank, and I'd be like, okay, well, what does that look like? And what are the consequences of that?... being able to have a safe space with your partner to say anything and everything.” — Randa Dutcher (07:05–07:54)

Communication, Triggers, and the “Sweet Sandwich” Approach (12:04–14:08)

• Hard Conversations—How To Approach Them:

  • Importance of clarity about your feelings before communicating.
  • The “sweet sandwich” method: couching difficult feedback between affirmations and care.

    “I think first you have to be really clear what you're upset about. Is it something from my past that I was triggered by or is it something they said? And then just be really clear. Hey, you said this and this is what I heard and this is how it made me feel.” — Randa Dutcher (12:08–12:14) “I love you so much. You're my best friend. And when you said that my pants were ugly the other day, man, it just crushed my heart. So maybe in future could you say, hey, what do you think about those pants?” — Randa Dutcher (12:37–12:52)

• Projection & Love Languages:

  • Discussion about how people communicate and show love in different ways and the importance of recognizing and adapting to those differences.
  • Reference to Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” underscoring relationships and even workplace culture.

Overcoming Black-and-White Thinking (09:42–11:17)

• ‘God is a God of And’:
  • Randa’s realization that life is not black-and-white and one can embrace many identities and new beginnings.

    “Growing up, I believed that you had to be black and white... And through forgiveness, I just realized God is a God of And. You can be more than one thing. I can be a mom, I can be a singer, I can speak on stages. I can be a great wife, I can be a good friend.” — Randa Dutcher (09:46–10:20)

  • Rudy builds on this with advice about overcoming limiting beliefs.

Rediscovering Passion Through Crisis (14:16–16:46)

• Return to Singing & New Opportunities:
  • Randa shares her journey of returning to singing, rejoining stage performances, and her iconic experiences (e.g., singing the National Anthem for the Phoenix Suns).

    “Covid hit and they had my video somewhere. And during COVID they're like, hey, we saw your video. Can you come sing? ...That was really cool.” — Randa Dutcher (16:25–16:46)

Never Give Up: Randa’s Core Message (16:53–17:08)

• Perseverance, No Matter What:
  • Encouraging others to push through hardship, whether “bloodied and broken on the floor” or simply heartbroken:

    “Never to give up. Just never give up. It doesn't matter if you're bloodied and broken on the floor. It doesn't matter if you're heartbroken. You can crawl to your next space. You can walk, you can be carried. Just keep moving forward.” — Randa Dutcher (16:53–17:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I remarried my ex-husband. We've been married twice… But in that two and a half year span, I really found myself.” — Randa Dutcher (00:00–00:13)
• “Everybody has negative thoughts, crazy ideas, chaotic moments, but being able to have a safe space with your partner to say anything and everything...” — Randa Dutcher (00:34–00:49; 07:05–07:54)
• “I became a Nagaholic… I lacked fulfillment and I didn't know how to connect or be vulnerable.” — Randa Dutcher (05:25–06:05)
• “God is a God of And… you can be more than one thing.” — Randa Dutcher (10:08–10:20)
• “You’re not limited by your physical ability or mental ability, but your perception of reality.” — Rudy Mawer (10:20–10:33)
• “Never to give up. Just never give up. It doesn't matter if you're bloodied and broken on the floor...” — Randa Dutcher (16:53–17:08)

Important Timestamps & Segment Highlights

• 00:00–00:49: Randa’s introductory story—remarrying her ex-husband and personal transformation.
• 04:07–05:04: Survival and growth post-divorce—“three jobs... I sold cattle on Craigslist.”
• 06:02–06:30: Reflections on responsibility in divorce and relationship breakdown.
• 07:05–07:54: Defining new principles for communication in marriage.
• 12:08–12:52: How to have hard conversations—the “sweet sandwich” approach.
• 14:16–16:46: Rediscovering singing and performing after crisis—Phoenix Suns anthem story.
• 16:53–17:08: Randa’s closing message on resilience.

Additional Details

About Randa Dutcher’s Work & Resources

• Podcast: Going Dutch — Focused on relationships, spirituality, hope, and peace.
• Books:
  • Healing Through Broken Relationships (collaborative stories on resilience from heartbreak).
  • You Have a Gift, Shine Bright (children’s book encouraging self-recognition of gifts/talents).
• Instagram: @perfectlyimperfect.randa
• Website: randa-dutcher.mykajabi.com

Tone & Takeaways

Uplifting, sincere, and practical, the episode offers both heartfelt encouragement and actionable relationship strategies. Randa’s candor and Rudy’s business-inspired insights blend to deliver an episode as thought-provoking as it is motivating, reminding listeners that legacies—especially relational ones—are always under construction, and always redeemable.