B (2:26)

Yeah. Well, let's start with that, because you do these laughter talks, right? Yeah. Tell us. Start there.

A (2:31)

Oh, yeah. One of my favorite things is actually getting up on stage and getting people to get weird with me. I feel like it like taps into my adhd, but also my passion to help people to really embrace who they are and not be so stuck in the stress of life because it can get to us and the more the world feels heavier, the less we're attaching to the playfulness.

B (2:56)

Yeah. I think as adults, a lot of people, they do, they get like so professional and then boring and then eventually unhappy that they forget the kid. You know, everyone says I'm a big kid. Like how I run my businesses and my offices and well, hence midlife crises.

A (3:10)

Like people get to a certain point, they're like, oh, I thought I was supposed to be happy at this age, but really I just followed a script. Script that was told to me of how I'm supposed to live.

B (3:18)

Yeah.

A (3:18)

And I didn't play in between. And it's devastating for folks. And that's why there feels like this big upheaval, like in their 40s or 50s of what did I do with my life? And I hate to see that. I want people to embrace the joys of life throughout because it goes well.

B (3:35)

I always say that. I mean, every year should get better, right? In theory. But for most people it's like they peak in their teens, twenties, and then it gets worse, you know, and they get stuck in this rat race. So just quickly, before we get too far into it, tell everyone, like, how did you get into this? What is the. Like what do you do? You know? Yeah.

A (3:52)

So I've been a mental health professional, like right. In my early 20s. I went to school in my like right when I was 18 to become a psych nurse. Then after years and years in a field that was just not sustainable and wanting to help helpers, then I went into counseling with the whole purpose to see the humanness in everybody, including the people who are doing all the caregiving. And even in that the way to survive, even nursing or any type of trauma exposed career is humor. It's how we get through those dark times is perspective shifting, connecting with the fellow person. And so as my journey has gone on, I've been creative forever. Like whether it's been music or poetry or comedy or any of those avenues, I wanted to merge all of that with my helpingness. And that's where embracing joys came into play of helping people or having a space where people can feel that sense of connection.

B (4:45)

Yeah.

A (4:46)

And also feel that sense of like, let's just be a bit more like light hearted and have fun again, you.

B (4:53)

Know, I would guess you're Not a typical, everyday, average counselor. And just like doctors, you have some good doctors, bad doctors. And I do feel in like the personal development sort of mindset space, like counseling generally gets a bad rap or sometimes does. So what, what is the, you know, why is that? What's the difference if someone's listening? But because a lot of people go to counseling, it doesn't work. Then they hire mindset experts. So what's the difference there between you, a regular counselor? Why does it not work for some?

A (5:20)

Oh, I believe that whoever we seek to help us has to be in alignment with who we are as a person. The amount of times I've had people say to me that they're so glad I'm not a counselor who just sits behind the board and just like does a smile and nodding because I've not.

B (5:35)

Had counseling or anything. But I imagine it's kind of like some doctors, they just see 20 patients a day and sign off a bunch of stuff and leave. And then you've got amazing doctors, maybe in more private setting, but they spend a lot more time and really figure out the root cause and invest. And that's probably the same difference in counseling.

A (5:51)

Well, and my specialty is trauma, which most people are not going to be like, ooh, that's light hearted. It's not. But we can't make and move through trauma if we don't feel that there is light in our lives. We can't get to that space, space where everything is going to be okay. Or I have the capacity to make it through things without knowing that we can access joy, that we can access humor because otherwise it's just going to keep getting heavier. And so one of the things I hear from people all the time too is that they love that there's so much laughter in our office space because it's not just me. There's nine of us in total now for my group practice, because I believe in the comm, that connection and community among therapists. And when people know that you yourself are supported and you, you know, you yourself actually show your humanness, which our laughter is, it gives permission for my clients to be themselves. And that's the magic.

B (6:46)

Well, and that's kind of like your unique selling point, right? What makes you unique? Because like I imagine again, I ever had counseling, but I imagine it from like the movies, they just sat there nodding, right?

A (6:56)

Oh yeah, very Freudian, like, lay on your couch and don't look at me.

B (6:59)

Is that typical? Is that typical counseling? How it settings?

A (7:03)

Everybody's so different and it depends on the type of training they've had or the type of counseling that like really drew them. But for me, it was positive psychology. For me, it was helping people get from I'm traumatized to post traumatic growth. Getting to that space of I'm on the other side of it. And I'm actually not necessarily grateful that it happened, but I'm grateful for the person I am because of it.

B (7:26)

Yeah, because I. Yeah, I know. I imagine some of the industry, they just get a degree and just do it as a career. They are the ones just signing it off and not absolutely just like any industry, you get the above average person that's, you know, really cares, really invests. And obviously you're one of those. You can tell, and that's why. And you have this unique system that helps people. So let's talk about like that unique system a little more. Someone's listening. They maybe have counseling now. Tried it in the past, it didn't work. And they're struggling with these things. What, how would you coach them through it in a couple of minutes?

A (7:58)

Oh, I would say find your person. Because that person who you were with before was just not the right one for you. Because there's going to be so many people who'd come to me and be like, oof, too high energy, not my vibe, or why is she laughing in session? That's not for me. I know how to read the room. I've done did comedy for like seven years. You'd learn how to read a room pretty quick. But having that skill of being able to know what a person needs in a moment, that is, that is part of the art of counseling. Knowing what the person needs, being able to read that. So having a person that you find that you're like, I don't have to explain it. They just know we get to just get into the work because I don't have to catch them up. That's really, really cool. So whether it's me, whether it's another person, it's just finding that right match. It's like dating. I'm not gonna marry somebody I don't get along with. I'm not gonna have a relationship with people that are not my people. When you're paying someone and hiring someone, be picky with who you choose. That's. That's actually really important. That's a gift to yourself, is to find the right person for your personality and your needs.

B (8:59)

Well, you know, I know you obviously specialize in certain areas, but let's talk about the broader side of what you do you help people find happiness, joy, all those things? Why is it that you know, and maybe I am making a blanket statement, but having a large majority of the population aren't in that place. Right. They aren't happy, they aren't fulfilled. Why is that?

A (9:20)

Well, and is why I'm creating Embracing Joys is because. Because I feel like so much division is happening. The algorithms are not helping us. They confirm our biases. And so if we get into one stream, then we feel completely disconnected from other folks. And that's ridiculous. We are so much more the same than we are different. We have different perspectives, different experiences and all that. But we all at our baseline want to live a life that is a quality life. We want to feel safe, we want to feel appropriately connected with the right people. And, and I feel like a lot of people are losing hope that that's even possible. There feels like so much more division than community and connection. And that's why Embracing Joys is coming to play. I want to remind people we can be kind to each other. We. We can unicorn each other instead of troll each other. Like it's very possible just to be nice.

B (10:10)

Well, yeah, there are a lot of negative people on online and, and I do agree social media, you know, I think the Internet and social media can help or hinder because you have one group that are into personal development where it helps and they're doing all the podcasts and they to personal development than they did 20 years ago. Right. They only had books then or maybe seminars now they can get it every day, all day, of course. But then you have the big percent that consume mindless content and it is negative or the world's gonna end or whatever. Right. Politics. But, but I do think part of it's also like generational and where you brought up. Because I grew up in a small town in England and I think everyone I knew and like the parents I knew, like what you accept there is. You're probably going to work in a job you don't really like for 40 years. You'll go out the weekend, have fun, go beer gardens and play, hang out with family and shop. And that's like the English lot. Like where I was from. That's what everyone did and that's why I left. But part of it too, I think is passed down through. Through almost your parents.

A (11:08)

Of course. Of course it's passed down for multiple generations because every single generation has been through different big events and everything we learned or didn't learn and just kind of hid inside of us and Just kind of worked through without actually working through. It is passed down and that's how we interact with the people that we bring into the world. And I grew up in a small town too. Like my dad was deputy mayor at one point. Like, it's small and they very much are a community of. It's the same. This is what you get.

B (11:37)

They live. That's where you are. Yeah.

A (11:39)

And I confused the masses because. Or as much of a mass of Hamiyota is. But I confuse a lot of people over time because everyone's like, well, why can't you just settle in and just do like, live this Manitoba life? And it just never felt right to me. I always felt like something was wrong and it was because my energy is meant to shift and change and grow and explore. That's just who I am.

B (12:02)

Yeah. That's how I was. And I. I presume you left that town.

A (12:05)

I did, yeah. Yeah, I did.

B (12:07)

And. And I was the same. But. And it's funny talking about the generational thing because I. I always speak about that too. Like, you know, I. My. My parents. Parents. My grandparents, they grew up through the World War. And my grandma was making hand grenades and my grandd war. So. And living in rations. So it's really only two gener. You know, it's like there you wanted to survive past 30, 40 years old and a war. Then you got like, you know, maybe that next generation. And it's only really now you've got the Internet and this ability to have online businesses and travel the world. And you forget two generations ago there was world wars and poverty, you know.

A (12:44)

Well, and we can walk around the street right now and the likelihood of us getting harmed by another individual is still low. Yeah. When I watch certain films or documentaries or things on like so many years ago, I think the safety and the amount of safety that there was then.

B (12:59)

Versus now and the equal opportunity.

A (13:02)

Absolutely. Like I wouldn't be able to be doing anything like this years ago. And so I. I think we forget to have gratitude for where we are and what we do have right now. And yes, it can all disappear in a second, but right now I'm the safest, I think I've ever been in my life to be able to explore all of these different opportunities.

B (13:24)

Yeah. And I think it's important to see, like, this is the environment we live in now and there is all this opportunity. It's not how you were brought up. Right. Like, because your parents brought you up how they were brought up, as you said.

A (13:34)

And that conditioning will Stay inside of us as well. Because it's really hard to fight against what the people that we trusted to raise us.

B (13:42)

Yes.

A (13:42)

Taught us. And so then when we're breaking those intergenerational patterns, it's not easy. Like it's actually quite hard to then tell your nervous system in your body it's okay to do it differently because it's like it's safe enough to do so now.

B (13:58)

Well, I think it's not only the conditioning from the parents, but also your environment.

A (14:01)

Oh yeah.

B (14:03)

The town that you live in. Right. So I think we got almost lucky. Once you leave the environment and you invest, immerse in a new one, everything changes all of a sudden.

A (14:11)

Yes.

B (14:11)

You know, but a lot of people, it's like they stay in that environment and then it's a constant battle because the people around them maybe don't get it. I see that in entrepreneurship and I'm sure you see that with your clients where you're trying to work through something and the environment, the spouse is maybe the opposite and pulls them back or the parents or the cousin or the brother in law or friend Is why.

A (14:32)

I love working with young adults quite a bit too, is because they're in this position of learning who they are outside that environment. Yeah. And they have that independence in comparison to when they are like a kid or a youth. And so they have this opportunity to step into the world in a way that feels authentic and genuine to them. And giving themselves permission to learn and grow and do something a little bit different is really beautiful.

B (14:58)

Yeah, Yeah. I think it's much different now if you're like 15, 20, 25, because you grew up in the Internet and you see all of these. I think it's harder, you know, I even I'm interested, I see it with clients in more the business space when they're 45, 15, it's like, why don't you start the business? And the answer is, well, it's all I know. Working in this factory or in this job for 20 years, it's what my dad did. Right. Or my, you know, whereas I think, yeah, the 20 year olds, like, yeah, I'm going to start the business. Right. So do you see it's harder for change for people that are maybe older because they kind of got ingrained into that habit.

A (15:31)

Absolutely. Because the generations before them, it was all about building your family, building this one thing that you did until you retired, that was the goal is you do the work, then you retire and then you can have fun. And I'm like, Whoa. What if I don't even make it till then?

B (15:46)

Yeah.

A (15:47)

Like, what do you mean? And so, yeah, risk taking is hard, even if you grow up in a generation where there's more of it. But it also is more fulfilling because I couldn't picture myself just being a psych nurse my entire life. It just wasn't working for me. And the amount of people who said, well, why don't you just stay in that career? Like, you're already in it, and it wouldn't have been fulfilling for me. And my life is way too short to just do something that's not filling my cup.

B (16:13)

Well, I even. Yeah, I even know nurses that they think it's going to be a great career and reward and they get into it and they're just burnt out and miserable.

A (16:19)

Oh, yeah. Half of the comedy I did was about nursing.

B (16:21)

Then they stay there as well. Right. Like, they just stay in it now because they did the qualification. So I love that general message of, you know, even if you've committed to a degree, you took courses, we were nurse, whatever. If you don't like it after five years, change, because five years later your life will be totally different and you'll be glad. And that's way. That initial risk is way better than the risk of 20 years of unhappiness.

A (16:44)

Oh, absolutely. And I think most people don't take the leap and it's because of fear or, like, not knowing what's on the other side. I'm more fearful of living a life that I know exactly what it is and I'm not happy. I would much rather take the risk and fall flat on my face and have to learn another lesson than do the same thing over and over again and expecting that I'm going to have a different result or a different emotion.

B (17:08)

Totally love that. So, last couple of questions, we talked about it already, but what. What will people expect from your episode? What will they learn beyond what we talked about here? And what does legacy mean to you?

A (17:18)

Oh, I am so excited. Like, truly, it was so wonderful being able to share my story, because there is a lot of trauma in my history, not only as the profession I was in, but also just personally. And I want people to know that being a human is hard.

B (17:30)

Yeah, yeah.

A (17:31)

But the more that we embrace our humanness and hold space for the difficulties and the things that feel really good, the yuck and the yum, we're actually being able to create more of a space to just move through whatever happens. So whether it's good, bad, ugly, whatever, we can Find that space of I can make it through regardless of what the circumstances and the scenarios are, especially when we have the right resources and the right supports.

B (17:57)

Yeah, love that. And what about the legacy side? What do you, you know, you're so passionate about this, but tell me what the legacy, long term, what you want to do.

A (18:05)

Oh, yeah, I want to leave a legacy of just. It's okay to have joy even in the dark times. It's actually essential. It's how we make it through that. Laughter. Laughter is in us because it's one of our healing models of making it through. We wouldn't have it in us as a species if it wasn't meant to be there. And so the more we can lean into the joys of life, the more that we can make it through the toughest times. I actually truly believe joy is an act of rebellion in times of turmoil and strife.

B (18:35)

It's funny because with joy, I think we're the species that has the least of it. Like, I watch my dogs and they sleep, they eat, and they play. It's like a third of their life is fun and joy. Right? But we, which is the most dominant species on the planet, have the least, least joy somehow.

A (18:51)

Yeah, we get too caught up in here and we like, we are biologically inclined to survive. Like that's what our bodies purpose is doing. So once we know that, oh, I'm feeling anxiety because my body's trying to tell me that there's an active threat, the more fun we have and the more reminders we have that actually life is good in a variety of ways. We teach ourselves that it's okay to experience joy and that we don't have to be so on alert all of the time.

B (19:16)

Yeah. Love it. And last question. People want to come to an event, learn more about you, hire you. Where do they find you?

A (19:22)

You can find me on Instagram at Embracing Joys. And you will be able to hook up a little bit of time with me, whether it's through lives or courses on my new platform, the Embracing Joys Collective that you will be able to join for only $100 for a lifetime membership.

B (19:41)

Wow, that's great. Well, there you have it, guys. Another episode in the wrap. Go make an impact, build a legacy, and I'll see you guys soon. Take.