From Army Intelligence to Fighting for Children

Summary

Living Your Legacy Podcast: "From Army Intelligence to Fighting for Children"

Host: Ray Gutierrez (filling in for Rudy Mawer)
Guest: Darshan M. Winick
Date: May 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode spotlights Darshan M. Winick, a family law attorney, trauma-informed therapist, former U.S. Army intelligence linguist, and self-proclaimed “honey badger.” Her journey—shaped by personal experience and a commitment to child-centered advocacy—unfolds as she discusses her transition from law to social work, the realities of family court, and her fight to keep children's welfare at the forefront of custody disputes. The conversation is intimate, candid, and filled with actionable wisdom for anyone navigating family law or seeking inspiration for purpose-driven work.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Darshan’s Journey: From Law, Trauma, and Military to Advocacy

• Early Motivations and Personal Story:
  • Darshan recounts seeing her husband endure a "horrific custody battle" and realizing, “Someone’s got to do something.” This propelled her to earn a Master of Social Work and dedicate herself to fighting for children in family court.

    "I decided I'm going to go back, get my master of social work degree and focus the rest of my energy and the rest of my life on fighting for kids in family court." (00:00, 06:47)

• Professional Background:
  • Darshan brings together her unique backgrounds: attorney, social worker, therapist, mother of three, and military linguist.

    "I'm Darshan Mwienick. I'm a family law attorney, social worker, therapist, mother of three teens, and honey badger pretty much." (02:04)

The "Honey Badger" Persona

• Origin of the Nickname:
  • Inspired by the viral “crazy nasty honey badger” video: “I’m little but fierce...and a brand was born.” (02:24)
  • The persona represents resilience and tenacity: “Honey badger la—and a brand was born. Years later, Randall's Animals still follows me.” (02:24)

The Challenges of Modern Family Law

• Demographic Shifts & Economic Realities:
  • Many young adults in California have children without marrying due to economic pressures, leading to multi-generational households and unique custody battles involving grandparents.

    “You’ve got late 20, 30-somethings having children, not getting married. Housing is outrageously expensive…Grandparents want their rights.” (03:37)

• Grandparents’ Rights and Step-parent Adoption:
  • Increasing cases where grandparents become primary caregivers and seek legal visitation or adoption rights.

    “Grandparents can win. It's not easy…In those cases, grandparents can win.” (04:09)

  • Darshan shares her own experience as a step-parent adopting her two sons:

    “I was a step-parent and then I adopted them.” (04:37)

  • Step-parent adoption in California is described as a positive, family-inclusive court process.

    “It’s kind of fun. You all go to court…kids have to sign stuff, get pictures taken with the judge. That’s my kind of court now.” (05:22)

The “Why” and Ethical Compass

• Purpose and Empathy:
  • Darshan distinguishes herself from typical lawyers through empathy and a client-centered approach:

    “I actually have empathy…most successful attorneys are all of the above…But I just didn’t fit in.” (06:05)

• Client Selection:
  • “The parent who has the capacity to put the children first. That’s the parent I want to represent.” (07:16)

Behind the Scenes in High-Conflict Custody

• Unseen Struggles:
  • Darshan unpacks celebrity custody battles (Kardashian-West as an example) and highlights the real, often hidden struggles—mental health, substance abuse, and coercive control.

    “A lot of times…there can be substance abuse issues, mental health issues…it’s really a no brainer which parent should have the children.” (07:46)

• Financial and Emotional Abuse:
  • She details how threats around money and access to children are weaponized.

    “You’ll never get any money, and you’ll never see your kids again…The state of California has codified that type of financial abuse as what's known as coercive control in the social work world.” (08:20, 08:54)

Cultural Reflections: Regional and Generational Differences

• Dynamics Across Communities:
  • Discussion comparing Miami (hot-headed, diverse, common divorces) and California (older divorces, “gray” divorce, different family structures).

    “Southern California…family law courts are jam packed…and again, a lot of it…older couples in their late 60s…the adult kids want to be involved and it’s kind of a mess.” (13:39)

• Generational Evolution:
  • Ray shares his own family story—being adopted by his grandmother—and the challenges of previous eras, contrasting with today’s family court realities.

    “My grandma…I was raised by my sick grandma. She left me alone for weeks on end…That was a different time.” (09:50)

Barriers to Access & Darshan’s Nonprofit

• The Need for Legal Aid:
  • Many in need cannot afford representation—a persistent theme:

    “So many people come to me and I want to take their case…they can’t pay my fee and I can’t work for free.” (15:17)

• Creation of a Nonprofit:
  • Darshan recently secured 501(c)(3) status for “Child Centered Advocacy” to provide legal help to low-income families.

    “That’s going to be my big push for the next 12 months—to really raise funds for my nonprofit so that we can help that many more families.” (15:52)

Coping with Emotional Toll & Boundaries

• Sustainability and Personal Boundaries:
  • Darshan is candid about the difficulty of balancing pro bono work and personal sustainability:

    “My first full year doing this full time…my first year I did a little bit of that and I suffered. A couple mortgages later, I have learned that I can’t.” (15:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I'm little but fierce. Honey Badger la. And a brand was born."
  —Darshan, on embracing her fierce advocacy style (02:24)
• "I actually have empathy. So I'm not a class A narcissist. And so. And most successful attorneys are all of the above."
  —Darshan, reflecting on her place in the legal profession (06:05)
• "Someone's got to do something. So I decided I'm going to go back, get my master of social work degree and focus the rest of my energy and the rest of my life on fighting for kids in family court."
  —Darshan, describing her turning point (00:00, 06:47)
• "The parent who has the capacity to put the children first. That's the parent I want to represent."
  —Darshan, on her client philosophy (07:16)
• "You’ll never get any money, and you’ll never see your kids again."
  —Darshan, illustrating financial and emotional threats in custody disputes (08:20)
• "California has codified that type of financial abuse as what's known as coercive control…That is not tolerated by the judges."
  —Darshan, on legal progress in recognizing coercive control (08:54)
• "I can't work for free…which is why last October I went to a law firm…Finally got my 501C3 status and we've already been able to help our very first client."
  —Darshan, on her nonprofit journey (15:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Darshan’s “why”: personal experience leading to a new mission
• 02:04 – Introduction and “honey badger” origin story
• 03:37 – Modern family dynamics and grandparents’ rights
• 04:37 – Step-parent adoption insight and personal anecdotes
• 06:05 – Empathy and uniqueness in the legal world
• 07:46 – Celebrity custody case dynamics and hidden struggles
• 08:20 – Financial coercion in child custody
• 08:54 – Legal recognition of coercive control
• 13:39 – Comparing Miami and California family dynamics
• 15:17 – Barriers to legal access and the Child Centered Advocacy nonprofit
• 15:52 – The emotional toll of pro bono work and building a sustainable path

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Closing Notes

This episode provides a meaningful, inside look at family law and advocacy from someone deeply committed to child welfare and justice. Darshan’s blend of professional expertise, personal experience, and unwavering empathy—and her resolve to create systemic change—offers motivation and practical insight for listeners at every stage of their own legacy-building journey. For those wishing to connect or support, Darshan can be found at Wenick Law, @honeybadgerla on Instagram and Twitter, and through her new nonprofit, Child Centered Advocacy.

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Host’s Final Words:

“From one lion to a honey badger, I’m very thankful for this conversation…you’re really going to change an entire generation. So God bless you so much.” (16:46)

Transcript

[A]

I saw my husband go through his horrific custody battle with regarding my sons. Now I realized someone's got to do something. So I decided I'm going to go back, get my master of social work degree and focus the rest of my energy and the rest of my life on fighting for kids in family court.

[B]

Darshan M. Winick is a fearless attorney, former U.S. army intelligence, linguist and trauma informed therapist. Speaker specializing in high conflict family law and child custody disputes. Known for blending legal strategy with psychology to protect children's well being. Moms and dads are not quite claiming them. Like talk about this struggle.

[A]

You know, it's really interesting you raised that point because what I'm seeing more and more of, especially in California, you've got 20 late 20, 30 somethings having children, not getting married. Housing is outrageously expensive. So they can't afford their own homes.

[B]

Oh geez.

[A]

So they stay with the grandparents and then they kind of go off and live their own lives. Fast forward. It spans the globe like a super high cold Internet.

[B]

Elvis Presley. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone. It's not over until I win. The Living youg Legacy podcast for those who live to leave a legacy that's extraordinary. Impossible. Oh, that is sensational. Jordan, open Chicago with the lead.

[A]

You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet.

[B]

You can live your dream. Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Living your Legacy podcast for Inside Success. I'm Rig Gutierrez. This is the Woman in Power edition. And and today we've got quite the powerful, powerful woman. The Honey Badger of all honey badgers. How are you?

[A]

I'm doing very well, thank you.

[B]

Take a moment to introduce yourself, my love.

[A]

I'm Darshan Mwienick. I'm a family law attorney, social worker, therapist, mother of three teens and honey Badger pretty much.

[B]

Can you give us a quick story of how the honey badger is actually following you?

[A]

Oh, yeah. So back in when I First started Twitter. March 2020 12.

[B]

The real Twitter.

[A]

The real Twitter. Old school Twitter. OG Twitter. Yes. I had just seen the crazy nasty Honey Badger video and I was like, that's me. I'm little but fierce. Honey Badger la. And a brand was born. Years later, years later, Randall's Animals still follows me.

[B]

That's awesome. I hope he's doing well.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

So what brings you here? I hear you filmed in a movie amazing episode for women in power.

[A]

I did. I filmed an amazing episode for women in power. Getting out my story about my passion for child centered family law. Too often it's not about the kids. And I'm making it about the kids in California, at least.

[B]

Yeah. Rayon, good for you. Yeah, I always, always like to brag that my grandmother adopted me. Like, she retired on a Tuesday at 60 and then adopted me with paperwork, with a legal guard and everything on a Thursday. So, yeah, it was an interesting process for me as a child. Let's talk about what was happening with my mom and dad when this happened. How often does this happen? Like, it's very sobering to hear that babies are coming out of everywhere, but no, moms and dads are not quite claiming them. Like, talk about this struggle.

[A]

You know, it's really interesting you raised that point, because what I'm seeing more and more of, especially in California, you've got 20 late 20, 30 somethings having children, not getting married. Housing is outrageously expensive, so they can't afford their own homes, so they stay with the grandparents and then they kind of go off and live their own lives. Fast forward. Grandparents want their rights. And so we take grandparent visitation cases, especially when you've got a situation where the father and mother really haven't been around that much and the children have bonded deeply to the grandparents. In those cases, grandparents can win. It's not easy for a grandparent to win a grandparent visitation action.

[B]

My grandmother won.

[A]

Your grandmother won. Well, she adopted you. Yeah, but, but. But that is definitely a thing. And. And I actually adopted my two sons.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I was a step parent and then I adopted them. So, yeah.

[B]

That's awesome. Talk about the adoption process and how it is a little different than the conventional, hey, we met, we did the thing. And now as a child, like, talk about that. Not that, but there's still the magic of raising or even helping.

[A]

Well, and that's the thing. In my situation, I was already sort of mom from 2012 to 2016, and my husband and I got married in 2015 and he had his two sons. I have my biological daughter, and we became a blended family. And I didn't hesitate. I wanted to adopt them.

[B]

Wow. What's the adoption process like? I'm sure folks are curious, but they've never taken the plunge because I'm sure it's difficult or maybe even easy.

[A]

I can't speak to just stranger adoption. I can speak to step parent adoption, which makes it very, actually very easy. Especially in the state of California, if you are a step parent. There's just a few forms. It's kind of fun. You all go to court, even the kids. The kids have to sign stuff, get pictures taken with the judge. That's my kind of court now. You're not getting yelled at by the judge. It's actually a positive experience.

[B]

Very cool. That's awesome. What was your why? What put you on this journey to follow this North Star?

[A]

The why? Well, I knew I loved the law. I knew I did. I wanted to be a lawyer. That's great.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

But what I didn't realize is that I don't like most lawyers. I don't like working with them. I don't have much in common with them. I actually have empathy.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. So I'm not a class a narcissist. And so. And most successful attorneys are all of the above. Yeah.

[B]

It's not because it's a negative thing. They just have to be lawyers. That's lawyers.

[A]

They are. But I just didn't fit in. I was like a Santa swimming upstream. It just wasn't me. But then I realized after I had my daughter and I saw my husband go through his horrific custody battle with regarding my sons, now I realized someone's got to do something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So someone's gotta do something. And so I decided I'm gonna go back, get my master of social work degree and focus the rest of my energy and the rest of my life on fighting for kids in family court. And by default, the parent. Now it's mostly moms, sometimes dads. We represent dads. We represent plenty of dads. It's the parent who has the capacity to put the children first.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

That's the parent I want to represent.

[B]

I got to ask you, because maybe I'm not, I don't watch tmz, but I know, you know, I know what a Kanye west is and I know what a Kardashian is. And I see their children, I see a lot of celebrities that are front facing doing the social media thing and the kids are off to the side, but then they end up splitting up. And what, what is really the melodrama? What's really happening behind the scenes? Like when a Kardashians going, well, I've got the children, Yeez. Doing this, like, what's really happening behind the scene that is not social media?

[A]

Well, in that specific case. And I can't, you know, comment on the mental health of anyone because I've never evaluated them. But you know, a lot of times in those types of situations, there can be substance abuse issues, mental health issue issues that it's really a no brainer which parent should have the children. Who. Which parent can be that stable parent?

[B]

Bingo. That's what I was looking for, that stability. So bottom line, it's just stability. Is it finance stability? Is it mental st. How many stability check marks do we have to hit here?

[A]

Well, in terms of finance stability, usually what's happening, and this is just. I'm not saying all, but a lot of men decide they don't want to be with their partner anymore, or the wife or partner doesn't want to be with the husband anymore. And the very first thing the dad says is, you'll never get any money and you'll never see your kids again.

[B]

Whoa. It's insane.

[A]

And it turns out such a manly

[B]

thing to do, too.

[A]

And it's terrifying for these women.

[B]

What a manly thing to do.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so they tell them that they're terrified. I do believe the state of California has codified that type of financial abuse as what's known as coercive control in the social work world. And. And that is not tolerated by the judges. We are moving towards judges understanding the dynamic between interpersonal violence, coercive control, and which parent is trying to weaponize the court system for their own gain to use to take the children from mom. Or sometimes it's the other way, but usually it's the other way.

[B]

What's. What's a common thread? So I'm reading my notes here because I've got your show script. Try not to be impolite. I'm not checking my DMs.

[A]

No, you're good. No, you're good.

[B]

You're good.

[A]

I'm used to that.

[B]

Oh, right on. What. What is a common thread? You see, like, what's something that, especially in California, is it, you know, someone doesn't show up and the kids are just left alone? You know, my grandma, I was raised by my sick grandma. She left me alone for weeks on end because she was in the hospital. And this was before I turned 16. So, yeah, any moment, social work, like, I. I knew. We knew that we were, like, crossing some lines here. Yeah. But that was a different time.

[A]

That was a different time.

[B]

This was the 90s, I can tell you.

[A]

In 1976, I was required to walk along a train track to go to my swimming lessons.

[B]

Right.

[A]

By myself. So, yeah, it's a different time.

[B]

It's a totally different time. So what's happening today where, like, are kids being abandoned? Like, what is something that's very common?

[A]

No, I would say kids are not being abandoned by both parents.

[B]

I see. Okay.

[A]

What you will typically have what I've seen and time and time again, Is dad either just leaves because he found a new partner and is off living his best life, going on vacation with his new trophy, whatever. And the kids are kind of abandoned by dad and mom has no money and dad's not paying. And so we have to go to court to get a court order for spousal support and child support support and

[B]

requires more money, more mental anguish, more. Yeah.

[A]

So that, so that there's stability for the children.

[B]

It's. I know it's human nature. I know we're designed to procreate, but I know we don't have to. Sometimes the decision miracles happen, but it is still very much a God country. Like in God We Trust, it's in the dollar bill. So we do live in some sort of values here.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

When. When, Gosh, there's so many ways and paths that I can take this question. Line of questioning. I, When I, when I listen to this story, I go back to the moments of, like, the faint memories of my mom and dad and, and how they struggled to like, keep. To even like, raise me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is there is. There is. Because you mentioned psychology, like, what is the psychological trigger here? I'm in love. I meet someone online, we fall in love. We're still riding that dopamine. We have an accident, we get pregnant. What do you find? Does the father immediately fall in love the moment the baby pops out? When is the. The red flags where you kind of see the fantasy of this to fall apart and now a child is in danger because whatever melodrama this couple's been through is now gone and now there's a child in play. What happens then?

[A]

I would back up a second and I would actually look at the values of the parties. You know, some. If the dad was raised in a less than great environment and wants a better life for his child, then it can work out.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Now, if you're dealing with a narcissist or anybody with some type of a personality disorder, you're heading for a train wreck.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely a train wreck there. And God bless my grandmother for saving me from that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

From that train and wreck. But yeah. What. How do you educate folks today? Like, don't, don't procreate. Like, don't meet. Like, how do you educate and stop kind of like this pandemic that at least my generation had to endure? Like, I grew up with. I grew up Latino. I went to Miami Senior High and everyone had divorced parents. It was very common. And then I went to California and dated my first California girl. Parents are Together they live out of Martinez. It's something I would grow up watching television. Like this is the family. I thought, I'm just, I want to have talk about that cultural dynamic, like Miami versus the Bay. Like you're seeing a lot more divorces in Miami because it's odd hot headed city and it's this Caribbean countries and then you've got the Eastern Europeans and then you've got a little bit of the South Americans. It's just bad traffic here.

[A]

Well, I don't know, Southern California, you'd be surprised. We get family law. Courts are jam packed and again, a lot of it we're seeing, it's interesting, we're seeing older couples in their late 60s. Kids are gone and they're divorcing, which is very interesting. And the adult kids want to be involved and it's kind of a mess. On the other hand, you see 20 something, 30, something, like you said, meet in a bar when they stand and it just doesn't work out. And then there's this dad on the hook for child support for the next 18 years.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Wow. It's that Kanye west song.

[A]

Back to Kanye.

[B]

Sorry, I'm channeling Kanye versus what? No, no, no.

[A]

I think it's a good, a big high profile kind of a caricature of what can go wrong.

[B]

Yeah. Last time I checked the Internet, I'm like, kanye was in trouble. That was years ago. I don't care. So how can people find you and do more research about you and learn more about you?

[A]

Well, there's not too many Darshans out there. Google, Darshan, Mwinick, Wenick Law, Honey Badger, LA comes up on Instagram and Twitter. I will always call it Twitter. Yeah. My nonprofit, which I just got 501C3 status for. Yay. Is called Child Centered Advocacy.

[B]

Right on.

[A]

And we are raising funds for families who need a family law attorney who can't afford it. Because I have so many people come to me and I want to take their case. They have great facts. I know I can help them. They can't pay my fee and I can't work for free.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I gotta ask, if you indulge me for a moment, how do you stay not pro bono and like, understand, like, I've gotta. I got, I got my own family to feed. I got my own bills to pay. I can't take every. I can't save everyone. How do you put on that hat and go like, keep your head down and like focus.

[A]

My very first year, my first full year of doing this full time. 2024. I did a little bit of that and I suffered. And you know, a couple mortgages later, I have learned that I can't. Which is why last October I went to a law firm who specializes in forming nonprofits in California. I said, this is what I want to do. Can I do it? They said, sounds great. Done. Finally got my 501C3 status and we've already been able to help our very first client. And hopefully we need to raise money. And that's going to be my big push for the next 12 months is to really raise funds for my nonprofit so that we can help that many more families who otherwise would be self

[B]

represented from, from one lion to a honey badger. I'm very thankful for, for having this conversation with you. For someone that was almost just barely missed the system and was raised by, adopted by my grandmother, I'm very thankful that you're doing this and you're, and you're, and you're really going to change an entire generation. So God bless you so much.

[A]

Oh, thank you so much.

[B]

I'm very excited that you had a great time here.

[A]

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

[B]

Right on. Thank you for being such an amazing, powerful woman.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And with that, we conclude our amazing episode episode of living your legacy podcast for Inside Success. I am Ray Gutierrez.