She Faced Unimaginable Loss and Chose to Heal

Summary

The Living Your Legacy Podcast: Episode Summary

Episode Title: She Faced Unimaginable Loss and Chose to Heal
Release Date: April 28, 2025
Host: Jordan
Guest: Melissa Sue Methven

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Introduction

In this deeply moving episode of The Living Your Legacy Podcast, host Jordan welcomes Melissa Sue Methven, an inspiring author, speaker, and breathwork coach. Melissa shares her profound journey from experiencing unimaginable loss to becoming a beacon of hope and resilience for others. This conversation delves into the transformative power of storytelling, the importance of self-care, and the creation of a lasting legacy.

Melissa's Journey: From Loss to Healing

Melissa opens up about the tragic loss of her husband to suicide on March 10, 2022, a moment that left her and her two young children, aged six and eight, grappling with immense grief. This devastating event became the catalyst for Melissa to share her story, aiming to provide a safe space for others to express their own truths.

"My husband died by suicide in March 10, 2022, leaving myself and my two young children at the time were 6 and 8. And that propelled me to share our story." [00:00]

Melissa emphasizes the importance of prioritizing her own healing before extending support to her children. By immersing herself in various healing modalities, she not only found solace but also discovered that sharing her narrative could offer others a pathway to their own recovery.

Holistic Approach to Overcoming Stagnation

When discussing strategies for individuals feeling stuck—be it in life, relationships, or personal endeavors—Melissa advocates for a holistic approach. She emphasizes the need to declutter both the mind and body to reconnect with one's true self.

"I start with finding space for stillness so they can really reconnect to themselves where self care, like investing in themselves." [06:21]

Melissa outlines her method, which includes:

• Mental Clarity: Utilizing journaling, gratitude practices, prayers, and meditation to declutter the mind.
• Physical Health: Focusing on nutrition and fitness to ensure the gut and body are in harmony, recognizing the profound connection between physical and mental well-being.
• Identifying Patterns: Helping individuals uncover and break free from recurring obstacles that prevent progress.

The Power of Storytelling in Saving Lives

A significant portion of the conversation centers on how sharing personal stories can be life-saving. Melissa recounts how writing her book, The Truth Behind the Smiles, resonated with many, leading to transformative actions such as seeking help for addiction or leaving abusive relationships.

"By sharing my story, it allowed others a safe place to share theirs." [04:35]

This reciprocal sharing fosters a supportive community where individuals find the courage to confront their struggles and envision a path toward healing.

Importance of Self-Care and Prioritizing Yourself

Jordan and Melissa delve into the often misunderstood concept of self-care, challenging the notion that prioritizing oneself is selfish. Drawing parallels to aviation safety instructions—“put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others”—they underscore that taking care of oneself is essential for effectively supporting others.

"Self love, like just go get the care that you need. Seek out, ask for help." [07:06]

Melissa shares her personal regimen, which includes early morning prayers, meditation, breathwork, regular workouts, and infrared sauna sessions. This disciplined self-care routine empowers her to maintain balance amidst her multifaceted roles as a mother, dental hygienist, and business builder.

Building Momentum and Embracing Opportunities

Melissa speaks candidly about the importance of momentum in personal growth and business success. She illustrates how once momentum is established, opportunities begin to flow more naturally, often appearing unplanned but perfectly timed.

"Once you create the momentum, magically, the next pieces of the bridge just keep appearing in front." [12:15]

Reflecting on her own experiences over the past year, Melissa describes how her book launch led to significant milestones, including media appearances and the inception of her podcast. This cascade of events showcases the compound effect of sustained effort and belief in one's path.

Understanding and Building a Legacy

The conversation shifts to the concept of legacy, with Melissa defining it as the lasting impact one leaves for future generations. She shares personal anecdotes, such as her grandfather's resilience and active lifestyle at 96, highlighting how individual actions and values can inspire and empower descendants.

"A legacy is something for generations... giving those kids hope. And also they'll believe they can do that too." [14:32]

Melissa encourages listeners to begin their legacy-building journey by focusing on personal strength and self-improvement, which in turn positively influences those around them.

Key Takeaways and Resources

Melissa concludes by emphasizing the power of hope and community in overcoming dark times. She encourages individuals to take the first step toward healing, assuring them that happiness lies beyond the paralyzing fog of grief and hardship.

"There is happiness across that you just have to make that first step." [16:02]

For those seeking further guidance, Melissa shares her resources:

• Book: The Truth Behind the Smiles available on Amazon and Audible.
• Website: melissagratitudelife.com
• Social Media:
  • Instagram: @melissagratitude
  • Facebook: Melissa Sue Methven
  • YouTube: melissagratitude

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Conclusion

This episode of The Living Your Legacy Podcast offers a heartfelt exploration of resilience in the face of profound loss. Melissa Sue Methven's journey from tragedy to empowerment serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity to heal and inspire. Through her story, listeners gain valuable insights into the importance of self-care, the transformative power of sharing one's truth, and the enduring impact of building a meaningful legacy. Whether you're navigating personal challenges or aspiring to leave a lasting mark, Melissa's experiences and advice provide both motivation and practical tools to support your journey.

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Notable Quotes:

• "It's not over until I win the living your legacy podcast. For those who live to leave a legacy that's extraordinary." [01:17]
• "Start working on you, you know, strengthen you, because then that will ripple. Have a ripple effect of everyone around them." [17:33]
• "Surrender. You know, there's a calling to make that shift, but oftentimes we want all the answers for that direction." [11:06]

Transcript

[Melissa Sue Methven]

My husband died by suicide in March 10, 2022, leaving myself and my two young children at the time were 6 and 8. And that propelled me to share our story. And I knew I had to stop there with with his story and not continue on to my children. So I dove into all the healing modalities and took care of myself first. And then I realized that by sharing my story, it allowed others a safe place to share theirs. Melissa Sue Methven is an author, speaker, and breathwork coach dedicated to helping others heal and reconnect with their truth. From traveling the world as a flight attendant to building a life in Alaska, her journey through love, loss and resilience now fuels her mission to guide others out of darkness and into purpose.

[Jordan]

So many people suffer with this behind the scenes. If people are, whether they're stuck now or in a bad place or a bad relationship. Relationship or something needs to change, how do you recommend they start?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I would say.

[Jordan]

It spans the globe like a super high cold Internet. Elvis Presley. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

It's not over until I win the living your legacy podcast. For those who live to leave a legacy that's extraordinary.

[Jordan]

The impossible has.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Oh, that is sensational.

[Jordan]

Jordan, open Chicago with the lead.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You can live your dream.

[Jordan]

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Legacy Makers. Today we're going to talk all about saving lives. How if you're maybe feeling stuck in your current life, how you can work on that new version and break through that and a whole bunch more. We're here with Melissa. Welcome to the show.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Thank you. It's a great honor. Thank you for having me.

[Jordan]

Cool. So I'm excited for this. You're doing a lot of things. You're a speaker, an author. You run these masterclasses. You help people go from stuck to unstuck. Right. And that's a big problem in the world. So many people I meet have these goals and dreams. I see them a year later, they're still talking about their goals and dreams. Right. And they need people like you to help unstick them. Yeah, let's start there. Like, what is it that you do?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Well, I'm, you know, I. After I wrote my book the truth behind the Smiles, I realized that by sharing my story, it allowed others to see their truth and share their story. A safe place to do that. So I'm really just reconnecting everyone to themselves. First of all, I feel like we're all very much cluttered, either too busy in the Mind or even the gut. So I start with a full kind of fasting. So to kind of. With the. Because if your gut is not aligned, then it. The mental health as well, it affects everything. So I try to declutter the mind with journaling, gratitude, prayers and meditations. And then it's through nutrition as well. So I got to declutter. So then people can find that stillness and reconnect to themselves, remember who they are and the purpose that they're here for. So that's what I guide them through first. And then we're able to find patterns that they're going through in their lives that they get stuck, they can't move forward.

[Jordan]

So it's a very, it sounds a very holistic approach. Right. A to Z, looking at their life, nutrition, diet, probably sleep, I imagine everything like that, mental health, environment, energy. And you're looking at these things and, and looking at where maybe the biggest bottlenecks are. And often I imagine that multiple places. Right. And I do want to revisit this and get some tips there for people that are in this position. I mean, it's a big percent, like I said. But I also want to just talk about the other side. Right. I, you know, this, this podcast is named Saving Lives, so there's got to be a story behind that.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yes, yes. Well, my husband died by suicide in March 10, 2022, leaving myself. My two young children at the time were 6 and 8. And that propelled me to share our story because my husband had suicide in his family as well. Both grandparents on both sides. You can call it a generational curse.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

And I knew I had to stop there with. With his story and not continue on to my children. So I dove into all the healing modalities and took care of myself first. And then I realized that by sharing my story, it allowed others a safe place to share theirs. And then after I wrote my book, the Truth behind the Smiles, people were writing to me and saying, I checked myself into rehab, I'm an alcoholic, and I'm going to seek help. Or I was. They were writing to me and they were in abusive relationship. And as they're writing to me, they're seeing more clearly and getting out of that fog. And now a year later after that, that realization, they have now moved out of state, have been able to keep their children safe. So I feel it is saving lives because I'm just sharing my truth. It's allowing others to see their truth.

[Jordan]

Well, I mean, that's, you know, and, yeah, that's, you know, such a Great story. And I think it shows the power of storytelling. Right. Which is partly what Legacy Makers is about, is people sharing their own journey and how they've overcome certain obstacles in life and now they're helping other people do the same. And I think this is just a great example of that. Right. And obviously such an important example too, because so many people suffer with this behind the scenes.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yes.

[Jordan]

So. So what a. You know, maybe let's start there through everything you've learned and gone through. If people are. Whether they're stuck now or in a bad place or a bad relationship or something needs to change, how do you recommend they start?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I would say start with finding space for stillness so they can really reconnect to themselves where self care, like investing in themselves. A lot of times we have a hard time investing in ourselves. We'll invest in our kids. And the best advice I got from an organ donor at the hospital was to take care of myself first. And my kids would co regulate with me. So I always say self love, like just go get the care that you need. Seek out, ask for help. I was hyper, hyper independent and asking for help was really hard. But I had no choice after my husband died. And so that was a big one. So I always tell people, reach out, ask for help and take care of yourself.

[Jordan]

Well, and I think that I'm really interested by the, you know, taking care of yourself first because this like I think thing in the world where some people are like, you know, it's selfish. Do I should take care of everyone else? Then there's the other side where, you know, and there's a famous saying, you know, like when an airplane's going down. Yeah.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I'll say the worst.

[Jordan]

Gone first. Right.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And I've always been, you know, maybe somewhat selfishly on that. I've always believed you should always take care of yourself first because if, if not, you spend your whole life looking after other people.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And if you're in a bad place, you can't really help anyone anyway. Exactly. So what would you say? Because I. But I do meet a lot of people that don't do that. And sometimes they're the most amazing people and I want to shake them and I go, you're spending so much time worrying about everyone else.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Worry about yourself for a minute. You know, you're the mvp. So what would you say to someone like that?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Oh, I know. Still so many people like that and I see it and they're such giver. And I was like that too. And they're, they're keeping so busy and they're getting something out of it. You know, they give, give, but I said I'll give. Little nudges like don't forget to be able to receive. You got to allow yourself to receive as well. Because unfortunately what I'm seeing with those people then they start getting little nudges, little aches and pains somewhere that are showing up where all of a sudden they're going to get little nudges to slow down and they'll have no choice to start taking care of themselves. And you don't want to wait till those little whispers become really loud, you know. And so I really, for those people I said don't forget to allow yourself to receive. And it's not selfish. You know, as a mom you do feel like that. But I was a flight attendant back in the day and so I do remember telling the moms and the parents, put on your oxygen mask first. And that makes so much sense because what use are you?

[Jordan]

Yeah. If you're a pastel, if you're passed.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Out, you can help your kids. And if I not, my nerfit system is not regulated. I could tell when I minor my kids will be array like they're going.

[Jordan]

To be more short tempered with the.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Kids and vice versa. They're fighting. The whole energy of the house really changes.

[Jordan]

Yeah. It's the same with leadership too. A lot of people listen in a business owners. Right. Like if you're as the owner in a great place, you'll be a better leader and you'll have more creative ideas and generally a company grows because of the leader and the ideas of the visionary and CEO. Whereas if you're in a bad place you're always on the defensive and always in a, you know, maybe a more negative environment. Exactly. So important. Yeah. In family life and in professional business life.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah. To be find harmony and balance as well. Because I find like I'm so overwhelmed at times right now because I'm building this business. I am also a mom, you know, and I, I'm still working as a dental hygienist couple days a week and speaking and doing all these engagements and giving a lot of my stuff. But I have to remember, I mean I work out five days a week. I, after I put the kids to bed, I go in my sauna, my infrared sauna. I do red light therapy and then I do breath work. My, I wake up at least I always, I like about 5, 5:30 and I do my prayer and meditation and breath work. I have to have that Time, then it keeps me al where my direction. So I, I don't see it as selfish. I think it is a necessity to keep grounded and to keep the energy that I need to keep going.

[Jordan]

Yeah. So next question. Around all of that, someone's listening. They're like, you know, maybe we're hitting the nail on the head, as the saying goes, that they're a little stuck. They're worried about everyone else. They know they've got to. Sometimes I think there's wake up calls in life. Like, maybe they're listening. They're like, yeah, I've got to do it this year. I've got to get a new career or really figure out my business or get my product off the ground or I've got to lose £20 or whatever it is. Right. Find a new relationship. What? Some hard words of encouragement to make them do it.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Surrender. Surrender. You know, there's a calling to make that shift, but oftentimes we want all the answers for that direction. We want it to be all controlled, like, well, I need to have this much money to move on to this or I can't leave this job. Just trust that it will. If it's call a calling, you gotta completely surrender and step in. No fear. Like, remove that doubt.

[Jordan]

Surrender. I call it believe.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Oh, believe. Yeah.

[Jordan]

What way is it saying yeah, Is that like belief, masculine, perfect. You know, I think, I think when you start, because I used to be like that when I was starting my businesses or my business idea or my fitness stuff, I would wait and plan for months until every piece connected. Whereas now as I've become more successful, I've actually done the opposite where I just need the first couple of steps of the bridge. I say to my team and I trust that I take a step forward and the next plank appears on the bridge for me. And I see that in a lot of high performers. They just get going, they just get, get started. And I've learned that this thing called momentum is so powerful.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Once you create the momentum, magically, the next pieces of the bridge just keep appearing in front.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I've seen this in my life. This whole year has been a momentum. Every. I wrote my book in Mill Valley, California last January, and since then it launched in June. And then my book was on the NASDAQ on a in September for the Suicide Awareness Month.

[Jordan]

But.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

And then it propelled to podcasts and especially in the dental industry because I'm a dental hygienist. My husband was a dentist. Then it was interviews, TV interviews. And now here at Legacy Makers to be able to share, have that platform, to share my message. I've been on this momentum, starting my. My own podcast as well. And yeah, I'm just diving all in because I'm trusting it. So it's brilliant.

[Jordan]

Right. And it feels great. You know, there's. There's ups and downs in business. Right. And you get some years where you're on that. That downward slope. It's like skiing or running downhill. It feels great. And then you'll have some times, sadly, where it's the opposite. And then momentum goes and you're fighting for every inch. But, you know, I mean, if you're in that momentum phase, it's great to savor it. But. But also it's important to realize that it does keep compounding success, because if you had looked back six months ago or however long and said, I'm going to do masterclasses, my book, podcast, film a TV show, speak or undo, it's like too overwhelming.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And figure out why you can't ever plan all that out. And, and then the. How to do half those things, they haven't appeared in the universe yet. Right.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

But I'd over think it.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I'd overthink. Oh, who do I need to connect with, what I need to do?

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Whereas it's just kind of naturally flowed.

[Jordan]

And a lot of those, you would never. You don't even have the answers, like how to get in the rooms or to do these things. But once you get that momentum going, they start to fall somehow in front of you. Right?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Yeah. Like an opportunity to be on your podcast today. I don't know who's going to listen to it out of your audience, but I have no doubt that it will get me, you know, somewhere else, you know?

[Jordan]

Yeah. So I love that. So. So next couple of questions, more on the legacy side. You know, we've talked a lot about, you know, what you're doing and what you're up to and how that helps people and some tips. But what does a legacy mean to you?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

A legacy is something for generations. Like, for. I picture you talking to, you know, grandparents talking to their children, talking about their. Their great grandparents and what they've done in their life. And the kids are listening to them and they're leaving that legacy that will share those stories forever and give those kids hope. And also they'll believe they can do that too. You know, that strength for whatever they're going through. Like, for me, for example, I think about my grandfather, he was born in Haiti, but it got really dangerous in Haiti and left at 23, and he went to Quebec City. And I think of his strength and what he did for his family. He's 96 now and still dances the tango three times a week, and he's very active. And he was leaving a legacy of his faith, taking care of himself. I mean, I always say, this is why I take care of myself, too, because I want to age just like him. He does not look 96.

[Jordan]

That's correct.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

And so that's a legacy, something that's passed on to other generations and gives them that strength and courage. When they're maybe stuck or having a hard time, they'd be like, no, no. My grandfather, my grandma, she did this.

[Jordan]

I love that. Yeah. Talking about legacy and the episode, you know, that got coming up, what are some. Obviously, we talked a little about your story and some tips, but what else are people going to learn or take away from your episode?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

For my episode, I think ultimately, really for me sharing my story, I want to provide hope, hope and resiliency and know that crossing over that really dark. I know that fog, that it's so paralyzing that there is happiness across that you just have to make that first step. So I want to provide them a community. You know, let me be that community where I can guide you through that first step. That might feel so paralyzing, but providing hope and light and love in a place where you don't feel alone. My podcast is not alone, Melissa Sue Methman. Because I share stories of people where you think they wouldn't be here anymore, but they are. They're living miracles. And then I. I share resources as well, where you can be like, okay, I want to try EMDR or I want to try parts work, or I would try breath work. You know, so it gives them kind of an idea. Because I listened to a lot of podcasts when I was living in Wasilla, Alaska. There was not a lot of places to go for. For healing as well. Yeah. Well, there you go. So that was my only kind of resource out there. And so, yeah, that's kind of what I want to share.

[Jordan]

Good. Love it. And last couple of questions around legacy. If someone's listening, they want to start working on their legacy. What are some tips you'd give them?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

I always say start working on you, you know, strengthen you, because then that will ripple. Have a ripple effect of everyone around them.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

So I would say start something that resonates with them, either writing, meditating, praying, working out just something for their health, for the mental and physical health.

[Jordan]

Good. Love it. And last question. They want to check out the book, they want to check out the podcast. They want to find you on socials. Where do they go?

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Oh, so for the book the Truth behind the Smiles, it is on Amazon. It is also an audible. I did record it with my own voice as well and you can find me, my website is melissagratitude life. I'm on Instagram melissagratitude. I'm on Facebook melissasu methven and I'm on YouTube as well for melissagratitude.

[Jordan]

Cool. Well, Melissa, been a pleasure. Super excited to see the episode and the whole story come to life there and yeah, I'm excited for it to hopefully impact more people like it already is. So thank you for sharing and super excited to see it all continue.

[Melissa Sue Methven]

Thank you very much.

[Jordan]

My pleasure. All right, guys, well, there's a wrap. Another legacy makers in the making. We'll see you guys soon. Take care.