She Lost Her Mother and Found Her Mission

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Living Your Legacy – "She Lost Her Mother and Found Her Mission"

Host: Ray Gutierrez (for Rudy Mawer)
Guest: Tali Manjiah, Founder of Ground Zero (Grief Coach and Stroke Survivor)
Date: June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Living Your Legacy delves into the deeply personal and transformative story of Tali Manjiah, grief coach and founder of Ground Zero. Following her mother’s passing and her own major health struggles, Tali channeled her pain into her purpose—guiding others through the darkness of grief toward coping and healing. The conversation covers Tali’s journey through loss, her approach to grief coaching, and her mission to empower others to honor and navigate their grief with honesty and dignity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grief: The Ongoing Process

• Grief Doesn't Get Better—You Learn to Cope ([00:00], [18:10]):

  • “It won't get better. But what you will do is learn how to cope...” – Tali ([00:00])
  • “People say it gets better with time. It doesn't. It actually gets worse... what you will do is learn how to cope.” – Tali ([18:10])
  • Tali emphasizes that grief is an enduring state. The loss is never fully resolved but becomes something one learns to live with through coping mechanisms.

• Honoring Loss and Embracing New Selves ([18:18]):

  • “I try to encourage them to honor their loss. If it's a loss, honor your newfound freedom if it's a divorce... whatever it is that you're going through.” – Tali

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2. Tali’s Story: Surviving Stroke and Her Mother’s Death

• Surviving a Sudden Stroke ([02:19]):

  • Tali recounts how excessive bleeding due to birth control pills led to a life-threatening stroke.
  • “I had to be on blood thinners... I had to learn how to walk again. I was in recovery for two years.” – Tali ([04:21])

• Losing Her Mother After a Long Battle With Cancer ([08:08]):

  • Her mother fought cancer for over 20 years but passed suddenly in 2023 after a sharp decline.
  • “She became so sick so suddenly... she just never got better.” – Tali ([08:41])
  • Not getting to say a full goodbye was one of Tali’s greatest regrets, a sentiment she explores deeply.

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3. What is Grief and Who Experiences It?

• Every Loss is Personal ([05:02]):

  • “Grief is literally what you deem as a significant loss. So it could be anything from death, cancer, diagnosis, to divorce, to losing a job.” – Tali
  • She stresses that grief is not comparable and is unique to each individual, “Don’t compare griefs. It’s not a race... not one shoe fits all.” – Tali ([05:31])

• Generational and Real-Time Grief ([07:12]):

  • Tali works with clients mourning diverse losses, including failed IVF, divorce, and death.
  • Even children grieve differently, often acting out because they lack emotional maturity.

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4. Navigating the Grief Journey: Acceptance and Purpose

• The Process of Letting Go ([11:38], [20:17]):

  • “I wanted her to die at home, not in a hospital... she literally gave me her last breath.” – Tali
  • “Once I accepted it is when I got out of that dark tunnel. And it took me six months to accept it.” – Tali ([20:17])

• Turning Darkness Into Mission ([15:40]):

  • “When she took her last breath, I didn’t know it, but that’s when I gained my purpose in life.” – Tali

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5. Tali’s Grief Coaching Philosophy

• Empathy and Realism Over False Comfort ([17:54], [27:09]):

  • “I’m really raw and honest with all my clients... it won’t get better. But what you will do is learn how to cope.” – Tali
  • “There’s really no magic pill... I would never tell them ‘it will be okay’. I won’t. Because that is false and they’re going to hang on to that.” – Tali ([27:09])
  • She works to transition her clients from purely emotional responses to more logic-based coping, emphasizing the importance of acceptance.

• Program Structure ([25:00], [28:55]):

  • Six-week programs with daily, intensive contact in the first two weeks; extended support as needed.
  • “Your first two weeks... every day, it’s me and you. I have to bring you out of it, at least get you to see the light.” – Tali ([28:55])
  • Willingness to continue beyond the program for clients who need more time.

• Accessibility and Meeting People Where They Are ([23:49], [24:39]):

  • Discussions of affordability and customized support: “Let me meet you halfway. What can you afford?” – Tali

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6. Coping and Daily Strategies

• Daily Coping and Presence ([22:24], [23:27]):

  • “Every day is Groundhog Day for me... but I’ve learned coping mechanisms to help me get through my day now. That looks like sitting in silence, like verbal affirmations.” – Tali
  • When with clients, Tali is fully present, putting their needs above her own grief.

• Silence and Journaling as Tools ([31:05]):

  • Both Ray and Tali extol the virtues of sitting in silence and journaling, not just for grief but for general mental clarity.

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7. The Emotional Toll and Ethical Practice

• The Weight of the Work ([32:05]):

  • “People were suicidal, and I don’t know anything about them. This is something you have to be passionate about.” – Tali
  • Tali is highly protective of her clients’ privacy, refusing to livestream sessions or violate confidentiality.

• Empathic Burden ([33:19]):

  • “I’m an empath, so I really ingest it... once I disconnect my calls, I’m still feeling it. I’m still in it with you.” – Tali

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8. Connection, Legacy, and the Circle of Life

• Personal Stories Connect Us All ([13:46], [15:27]):

  • Ray shares the story of caring for his grandmother. Both Ray and Tali draw parallels between their experiences of loving, losing, and honoring their elders.

• Leaving a Legacy by Helping Others ([15:40], [37:35]):

  • Tali’s mission now is to help thousands through their dark times, believing her mother would be proud of her transformation and resilience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “When she took her last breath, I didn’t know it, but that’s when I gained my purpose in life.” – Tali ([15:40])
• “I tell my clients, listen, if nothing else, show up for your kids, because that allows you to still show up for yourself.” – Tali ([19:22])
• “It’s okay to not be okay... Don’t allow someone to make you feel guilty for your grief journey.” – Tali ([36:23])
• “I would feel way more fucked up bringing someone out the tunnel to abandon them and they go back in the tunnel.” – Tali ([26:15])
• “Sitting in silence... everyone should do. Sit in silence, whether it’s for 30 minutes or an hour a day. You’ll see how you’re able to declutter your mind.” – Tali ([31:05])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Grief Philosophy Key Statement: [00:00], [18:10]
• Tali’s Stroke Story: [02:19] – [04:30]
• Mother’s Passing and Acceptance: [08:08] – [11:38]; [20:17]
• How Tali Coaches Grief: [17:54] – [19:22]; [25:00] – [28:55]
• Client Financial/Accessibility Discussion: [23:49] – [24:39]
• Empathic Burden: [32:05] – [33:19]
• Practice Structure/Privacy: [33:38] – [34:04]
• Call to Listeners/Final Encouragement: [36:23] – [37:44]

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Connect with Tali Manjiah

• Website: groundzero0.net ([31:44])
• Grief Hotline: Available on the website ([31:54])

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Takeaways

• Grief doesn’t resolve—it transforms, and so do we.
• Coping, not closure, is the true path forward.
• Honoring those we’ve lost can fuel our own sense of purpose and lasting legacy.
• It’s not only okay to not be okay; it’s a necessary part of healing.
• Supporting others, even in our darkest times, can help lift us out of our own tunnels.

“Continue to talk to yourself. Continue to hug yourself. Love on yourself. That is another way how you are going to get through grief.” – Tali Manjiah ([36:23])

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End of summary.

Transcript

[A]

It won't get better. But what you will do is learn how to cope because you have people who say all the time, oh, it gets better with time. It doesn't. It actually gets worse. And then I try to encourage them to honor their loss. Tali Manjiah is a resilient, purpose driven and empowering life coach and the founder of Ground Zero. Through her work, she helps individuals navigate life's challenges and cultivate deep self compassion, creating a lasting legacy of emotional resilience, authentic growth, and fearless leadership. I'm speaking to them from a human standpoint and I have to talk them off the ledge and I have to let them know that their loved one would not want them to join them because if they did, then they would have already did it. It's not their time. You will lose yourself because unfortunately it will get dark before it gets light. You have to go through that dark phase.

[B]

And now that you've gone through that dark phase, where are you today in the spectrum of healing or embracing? Where are you today and what is your North Star?

[A]

Every day I relive my mother taking her last breath. But I've learned coping mechanisms to help me to get through my day now. And that looks like

[B]

it spans the

[A]

globe like a super high cold Internet Elvis.

[B]

Ready for free.

[A]

Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone.

[B]

It's not over until I win the

[A]

living your life legacy podcast for those who live to leave a legacy that's extraordinary.

[B]

The impossible. Oh, that is sensational.

[A]

Jordan, open Chicago with the lead.

[B]

You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You can live your dream. Welcome to another episode of the living your legacy podcast, the Women in power edition for Inside Success. I am Ray Gutierrez. Joining me today is Tali Munjaya. She is the founder of ground Zero. And that's ground zero with a actual zero at the end, the numerical zero. She's also a grief coach and a stroke survivor. What an intro. My love, welcome.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Look at you go. I can barely see you. I don't know where'd you go?

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. That was. That was very real. I am a stroke survivor.

[B]

How is. How does one survive a stroke?

[A]

God, whoever your h power is, that's who brought me through, I want to say that I believe having my mother by my side helped a lot. She definitely was able to just give me the. The motherly love and let me know it's going to be okay. And she's here for me. I mean, literally, my mother never left my side. Um, but what's really scary is when I had the major stroke. She had just left home. I'm sorry. She just left the hospital to go home, which is only 15 minutes away, to get a bag of clothes because she said she knew something was about to happen. And so within that time of her leaving me is when I had the major stroke. And the only thing I can think of in my mind is, I don't want my mother to see me die.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so when my cousins called her and said, you need to get back, she was already on her way back. She didn't park the car or anything. She just left the car in the front of the hospital and ran up to the room where I was, grabbed my hand and said, baby, I'm here. And that's when my seizure stopped.

[B]

How old were you? What time was it? How does one. Is this genetics? Were you in high stress?

[A]

How did the stroke come about from birth control pills? This was in August 2012. And I was excessively bleeding and they couldn't find out why. So my menstrual cycles were last months because I just wouldn't stop bleeding.

[B]

Holy moly.

[A]

So at this point, my doctor every. That's not normal. So at this point, my doctor said, okay, we're going to get you on birth control pills because that medically intervenes to stop bleeding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was too much estrogen for me. And so that did what? Clotted my blood and it the two main stems, and I had one in the main stem and it bust.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So it was really scary. I had to be on blood thinners. I had to learn how to walk again. I was in recovery for two years.

[B]

So look at you now. Do you feel like all of that was necessary for you to be where you are today?

[A]

I do think that everything I've been through in life has prepared me to become a grief coach. But what solidified that purpose was losing my mother two years ago.

[B]

I apologize for that, and thank you for sharing that. How does one become a grief coach? Are you always grieving? And how does one coach one through the grieving process? Process.

[A]

So that's the hard truth of it. Once you experience grief, it's everlasting. It's going to hit you at different times. Some people grieve harder than others, but once you experience grief, you can never go back from it. Grief is literally what you deem as a significant loss. So it could be anything from death, cancer, diagnosis, to divorce, to losing a job. It could be anything.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because that's what you personally deem As a loss to you. What may not be a significant loss to you can be to someone else. So I never, I always tell people, don't compare griefs. It's not a race, first of all, it's one. It's not one shoe fits all either.

[B]

When, when it comes to the grief counseling and coaching, how much of it is divine, how much of it is science, how much of it is facts, and how much of it is just human behavior?

[A]

So grief in itself, it's human nature. It's an emotional roller coaster. Grief is the emotions that you have are now suffering from your significant loss. It's what you feel.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So a lot of it is literally human nature in my opinion. Again, it's just my opinion. A lot of it is human nature and facts, you know, and the emotional aspects of grief really vary based on the individual, not the actual loss. Because one may react differently to a divorce, one may react differently to a death.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, not everyone cries, but they're still grieving. And that looks like them not crying. That looks like them not acknowledging their loss. That looks like them going about their daily life. And you wouldn't even know that they lost someone.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But that's how they deal with grief. They totally black it out.

[B]

Yeah. Stone wallet, as I like to say. How much of it is generational grief? A lot of generational trauma, or is it stuff? Are, are most of your clients or folks that you coach grief that are. Is happening in this lifetime, this lifetime

[A]

in real time at that real time. I, I have clients that are dealing with failed IVFs. I have clients that are dealing with death. Oh, obviously I have clients that are dealing with two parent households becoming one. Well, you know, because kids deal with grief differently. Kids are not emotionally mature to understand what's going on. So kids act out in a lot of ways. So I deal with a lot of different variables and aspects of grief. It's. It's definitely something that has allowed me to continue to heal in my grief journey because I'm helping others get them out of the dark tunnel. Because I didn't have that. I didn't have anyone to help me.

[B]

Your stroke sound sounds like it was very sudden when you lost your mom. Was it sudden as well?

[A]

So my mother has been battling, been a total fighter of cancer for 20 plus years. So you wouldn't even know she had it if you looked at her. But of course I knew. And she had chemo and everything else. So once it. She basically lost the battle. August 27, 2023 and she began to lose that battle in August 23. So within three months, it took her. Right. So I didn't have a lot of time to understand what was really happening. And I think that's one of the hardest parts for me, that I didn't have that chance to say goodbye, because I'm never ready to say goodbye. Right. But she became so sick so suddenly, and it just. She just never got better. It went from worse to worser.

[B]

Wow. Was there a moment where, because I was raised with my grandmother and, you know, there was a point where I had to pre grief, I had to kind of just say my goodbye because I knew I was going to lose her. Is. Is there a method to that coaching where you kind of understand that this person is slowly fading and there is a point to pre grieve before the real loss happens.

[A]

So one thing I can say that was very helpful for me was the hospice nurse gave me a booklet that prepared me for losing a loved one. Now, my mother was already going through the process of dying, but I didn't know it when they stopped eating, when. Because their body, literally, their brain, is telling them we don't need anything else because we need to preserve our energy. So she stopped eating. And no matter how much I'm like, mom, I need you to eat. Please eat. Yeah, the doctors are telling her they need her to eat because she had major surgery. And that's the only way how you get better is you. You eat. You need prote. She wouldn't do it. And then she became very quiet. Nothing mattered anymore. So once they start going through the process of dying, whether she knew it or not, she never told me. She never said, baby girl, I know I'm about to die. My mother never said that. But I also never told her when I was bringing her home from hospice that this is why we're bringing you home.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, my mom is not stupid, though. I'm sure she knew enough to know this is not what's supposed to be happening. So I think that one can never be fully prepared to say goodbye. But I will say that having that literature to point out all the signs. So once I brought her home, though, she left me within 48 hours. Like my mother said, I'm blowing this popsicle stand. I'm not about to have you and your brothers. Your grandma was the same way, you know, crying and. And because at this point, I. I had to really take care of her. I had to wipe her. And my mom, she just hated that her own child was now having to wipe her and, and change her diaper. And, you know, she didn't like that. She let me know that much before she passed. She was like, you know, you're not my mother. I'm your mother. You know, things like that. So it definitely is a process of you have to accept. And I did not accept her leaving me for six months. So I definitely was nowhere near prepared for her to actually leave me, no matter if I knew. I brought her home.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I wanted her to die at home, not in a hospital. Even though I prayed to God, listen, make sure she takes her last breath with me. Don't. I don't want anyone to call me and say, hey, you need to get back.

[B]

Yeah. No, no, no.

[A]

And so she literally gave me her last breath within me, being anxious of her face.

[B]

Yep. Same. Same with my grandma. Yeah, it was. It was a very. It was a very, very spiritual moment. I remember her getting up, and I felt the room vibrantly. She was actually quite happy that she was able to get herself out of bed and check her insulin and helped her on her walker. And right before she sat on the toilet, she was gone.

[A]

Really.

[B]

She faded right in front of me. And you can see her. Her kind of shut off while she was trying to communicate to me. Just in her eyes. Oh, she just shut off. I held her hand while it was happening. I prepped for it for years. Like, I spent most of my teenage years just taking care of Grandma. And she would, she would. She would just have her. Her blood sugar would rise, and then she would fall unconscious. So I'd get back from television production in high school, and she'd be unconscious on the floor, but I would run through the drill, like, grab the OJ with sugar and a straw and wait for her, console her, and then she'd revive and rinse, repeat.

[A]

So how did you know this time that that was it?

[B]

I, I, I, I didn't.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It wasn't until, like, I held her and looked at her that I kind of went through the motions of, like, all right, well, let's. Let's grab the phone and go through the, the drill. And at that point, I remember I didn't cry. I didn't. I was just. There was peace, and I was just so happy for Grandma that she was. It was just her and I. It was really just her and I.

[A]

And what, what one thing I can say is, is that. And I don't know if this is true for you, but did you have solace in knowing that it was you and her to the end? Cause that's how I felt. With me and my mom back. It's a Groundhog Day for me daily. Every day, I see her take her last breath. But I have. I literally told her when I bought her home, it's me and you, kid, to the end, you know, So I have solace in knowing that I was there with her to the end. I never was gonna allow my mother to die alone. So I was just curious if you had that type of solace knowing, like you said.

[B]

Absolutely. I really did. And it was those, like, last moments, those last weeks where we actually had that bond, that connection that she never had with my actual father. She had it with me, and she was. She essentially just replaced everything she didn't have with her. My. My grand. My. Her husband, my. My grandfather right now, Luther Senior. And she never had any of that until she had it with me. And everyone said, well, she. The reason why she kept on going. Kept you. Kept her alive for as long as you did. And it was line one, article one, paragraph one. And the new will. She's like, don't. Everyone knows as to why I have sent everyone to hell, but my grandson takes it all. It's not much, but it was enough for me to just. It was yours, it was mine. And I spent my 20s just being an artist and being an only child that was adopted and didn't have a family and just became an artist. And then my first corporate job was working at PlayStation in San Francisco. So it was just. She's in this room right now. And I still go home. I still go to the. I still go to the house. Yeah. Hi, Grandma. She's very much blessed, this entire production. She's very much, very much. And I always like to speak to folks of coincidences. I used to be the game director for Power Rangers. It was called Legacy, Legacy Wars. And I worked for Legacy Makers. And my grandfather that raised me, his name was Rodolfo and they called him Rudy. And my grandmother was a high white witch doctor from Cuba. And she always said, chango, the saint of red, always follow red. And

[A]

Italian.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

Italian?

[B]

Cuban.

[A]

Cuban. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Close 16. I was four. It was quite. She was a Pan Am stewardess, and she retired on a Tuesday and adopted me on a Thursday with paperwork and everything. Oh, yeah. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And so I'm very much. Yeah, you're our. Our. Our Legacy is very proud of us. I know.

[A]

Yeah. Or.

[B]

Or your mom is very, very proud of you. And. And. Yeah. And I'm quite honored to be in this energy with you.

[A]

No, I. Listen, I'm so grateful. I appreciate you all, trust me. Trust me, I really do. Cuz one thing that I said is when she took her last breath, that's when I didn't know it, but that's when I gained my purpose in life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, that's when I said, didn't know it then though. Trust me, at that time, when she took her last breath, I was scared. I was alone. I said, how can I ever go through life without her? And then it turns to once I got out of that dark tunnel six months later is okay. How can I honor my mother and make sure she's proud of me? How can I make sure that the angel that was here on earth, that lives in some way. Because I'm not a saint. Absolutely not. You know, I've been. Been through life and done a few things, but one thing always remained is I literally know for me that I've always had a high moral compass and I stood on values. I'm very, very protective of my clients. Because you're in that vulnerable space, you need someone who's, who's not going to take advantage of you. And that was one of my fears because I was being very honest with myself. When I was in the throes of grief, I said, I know I'm in a vulnerable state. I know I'm weak right now. I know that I am just literally no good to be in society. So then I became scared of people because I'm like, someone's gonna try to hurt me. Someone's gonna try to take advantage of me. And I can't call my mom anymore. I can't call who I deemed to be my superhero, no matter what I was going through. My mother made it right. She was a problem solver. And that's something that I pride myself on. If It's a problem, 99.9%, I have a solution.

[B]

That's amazing. Let's see. Where should we take this conversation? Where can. I had all these lists of questions and now the dead signs completely caught me off guard. How can folks learn more about you? Because that's the question I wanted to ask. I had it in the back of my head. So I. I like the fact that you are a grief coach, not a counselor. Are you empowering that grief into. Into a positive talk about your, your philosophy here?

[A]

So what I am, what I really am really raw and honest about with all my clients is that it won't get better. But what you will do is learn how to cope.

[B]

Yep. It's very true.

[A]

Because you have people who say all the time, oh, it gets better with time. It doesn't. It actually gets worse because holidays, birthdays, death anniversaries or divorce anniversaries, like, whatever it is that you're going through, you still have to relive that at least one time in another year, God willing, you make it right. So I tell people, no, honey, it won't get better. But what you will do is learn how to cope. And then I try to encourage them to honor their loss. If it's a loss, honor your newfound freedom if it's a divorce, you know, honor whatever it is that you're going through, because at the end of the day, you really. A lot of people. I don't have kids, so a lot of my clients do, though. So they can't just take six months off and be in a dark like me. You know, they. They. You have to get back to being in mom or dad mode. You have little ones that depend on you. They don't understand grief, and it's not fair to bestow that upon your children either. And I tell my clients, listen, if nothing else, if nothing else, show up for your kids, because that allows you to still show up for yourself.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You know, and grief is something that is everlasting. Once you experience it, it's going to be forever and again. For some people, it looks like here and there. Then they're able to put it in a little box, lock it, and then it may creep up again because you have grief anniversary dates. And that's when they may start feeling like, why am I feeling like this? And then they're like, oh, yeah, because so and so was coming up. That date is coming up. So, no, I try to tell people, you have to be. Sometimes I may be a little bit too raw because I'm very realistic. But that is something that you have. Because I was very delusional when my mother passed. You know, you. You sit and you're like, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like you don't believe it.

[B]

Yeah, it's a protective. Protecting yourself at that point.

[A]

Like, I didn't accept it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But once I accepted it is when I got out of that dark tunnel. And it took me six months to accept it, because until then, I had her hostage with me instead of allowing her to do what? Rest in peace. She's so worried about me because I have not accepted her losing. I mean, her. Her leaving me. I'm. My heart is hurting. I've already had a stroke, so she can't physically tell me. Listen, stop. I'm. I'm in a better place. I'm not in pain because you don't want your parents here in pain. She was in pain her last three months.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They wanted to take her toes, her foot. I didn't. I know. No, that would kill her sending with my grandma, you know, so when you get to a point of, okay, this is not. First of all, that's not how she came into the world. This is not how she lived her life, you know, so now it's about honoring them in death. I'm not going to allow them to do anything that is going to catapult her death. When God was ready is when he took her. I didn't accept it. I questioned my faith. I was very angry. And then you sit and you what do you want? Your mother here in pain? Because for a long time I did. And that was not fair to her. Forget what I want. That's not fair to her because she wouldn't want me in pain, you know, so it was a process, but it was one that she helped to bring me through. So that's what I tell my clients. Listen, you don't want. You don't want to dishonor your loved one. You don't want to do that, and you don't want to dishonor yourself in the process, because you can lose you. You will lose yourself. It's not no kin. You will lose yourself because unfortunately, it will get dark before it gets light. You have to go through that dark phase.

[B]

And now that you've gone through that dark phase, where are you today? In the spectrum of healing or embracing, where are you today and what is your North Star?

[A]

Every day is Groundhog Day for me. So that means every day I relive my mother taking her last breath. But I've learned coping mechanisms to help me to get through my day now. And that looks like sitting in silence. That looks like verbal affirmations. Because my mantra is, it's okay to not be okay. So that looks like me showing up for myself, but giving myself grace. Because when I have a client on the docket, it's not about me. It's 100% about them. So no matter how I may be feeling when I wake up, I snap into being there for my clients because I'm honored that they show up for me to help them, because they are trusting me to help them, because they're in a vulnerable state. So if they take that first step and now we're locked in for our zoom call. The least I can do is show up for them.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And be present. Because you can be by someone but not present.

[B]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I have to be present for them because they are depending on me to help them.

[B]

What's the first common thread you hear when your clients. Is it, why me? Why did this happen? Or how do I find the money to a funeral? What's the common thread you hear with your clients?

[A]

Let's be real. We're in hard times and as an economy right now, so a lot of people want help and need help. They just can't afford it.

[B]

Yeah. No.

[A]

So I'm. I'm the type that. Okay, I can. Let me meet you halfway. What can you afford? Let's. Because that's a hard conversation to have, y'. All. Not only are you grieving, but then you get to talking about money, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you. Me, as a grief coach, I don't want to come across as one insensitive because that's the furthest from anything that I am.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, if I could, I would do it for $0, but unfortunately. Yeah. I have to still eat.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

My roof, everything. You know, I still have to live.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's when I. I'm very honest with them in terms of, okay, what can you afford?

[B]

What can you do without giving me numbers? Like, how do you kind of measure your value? Like, is it the amount of negativity? Is the amount of time? Is it the curriculum that you build? How do you measure and value and put a number to?

[A]

Well, I have six week programs.

[B]

Oh, right on. So you have. You have, like.

[A]

So I have a forum.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Cool.

[A]

But I also have it where after six weeks, you still need me, honey, I'm here. You know, because some people need more than six weeks.

[B]

Oh, sure. Six months sometimes. And you just keep them in and you keep them and you ascend them. You keep them in your tribe.

[A]

I do. I let them know from the very first meeting if. If you. If after six weeks and you still need me, honey, I'm here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We can talk about the particulars after that.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Because at that point, if you still need me after six months, then that means that you still are within that tunnel to a degree.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're not going to be still deep in it. That is a fact. That is a promise. But you still need me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. And I tell them I'm never going to turn my back on you because again, I needed Someone and I didn't have anyone. So I'm never going to allow my clients to feel alone because that's one way how to get one to go right back into that tunnel. And then. And then what? I will feel way more fucked up bringing someone out the tunnel to abandon them and they go back in the tunnel.

[B]

How do you build your curriculum? Because I'm already seeing, like it'd be cool if you had your transcripts from your Zoom calls and then have that into your. Into your Jackie. And then build a curriculum based on that one client's feedback and the transcripts. Because after six months, you're right. If they're not feeling any better, but they're still feeling something, you can keep them within your program, but then cater to them and give them a vip. Vip, Exclusive treatment.

[A]

So if they still. Because I had about two that still needed me after six months. So if they, when they, when they needed me after six months, that literally was like, okay, we're not back at square one. But obviously we need to dig deeper into another part of the realm of this dark tunnel.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And that's where it starts to getting to. Okay, let's start getting more into the deep rooted issues as to why you have not fully accepted what's going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And one of them is my IVF client. Yeah, that's. That was a. That. That hurt me. You know, and you can't really. It's really no magic pill. Unfortunately. It's. I would never tell them. It will be okay. I won't. Because that is false and they're going to hang on to that. So one thing I'm very careful with is my verbiage. I'm not going to tell you something that I don't deem to be realistic. I will tell you that I'm going to give you coping mechanisms.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You know, I will tell you that I'm not going to abandon you. And even if after you are. Okay, after six months, six weeks. Excuse me. And. And you feel the need to call me, I'm not going to say okay. I. I'm going to bill you. No, if. If it's a phone call and you just need me at that time to talk you off the ledge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm here.

[B]

Right on. For folks that are listening. How does one get a hold of you and what's the process like? What if. If folks want to get ready before they speak to you, what should they bring with them? What is their paperwork? Is there journaling? What would be the best way to approach, bring themselves.

[A]

Because when you're in the throes of grief, you don't have time to write anything at this point. You're acting off emotion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And my. My job is to get you now to start moving off logic because you're emotional.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But within your six weeks with me. Now we're going to shift that to logic, though, because now we're going to declutter. We're going to declutter.

[B]

Yeah. And this six weeks, is it. Is it a daily affirmations? Is it once a week? What's. What is. What does the process look like?

[A]

So your first two weeks. Intense. Every day, it's me and you. It's every. Because I'm in a dark tunnel with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I have to bring you out of it. I have to bring you out of it, at least get you to see the light. It's one or two things. Because once. Because when I was in it, I was in the dark for at least I was in the. It was. It was six months for me. Right. So I was literally in the dark, though, for at least four. That wasn't until I got to the fourth month when I reached out to a health and life coach and realize quickly, you can't help me.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're not. Yeah, you. You're telling me to add omega 3s to my diet and walk 30 minutes. Yeah, honey, I'm on the ledge.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I don't. I don't want to hear that, you know? So that by this time is when I'm already sitting in the dark in silence and realize that that was a coping mechanism for me. I realized sitting in the dark in silence helped me to declutter my brain because it was just going so many ways. And then you add fear on top of that.

[B]

So go ahead.

[A]

Once I started to declutter, that means I no longer see gray. It's black or white. And it helped me to then start to think a lot more logically. Then I realized, okay, this is not healthy. I've gained 80 pounds. My blinds and windows, everything is closed. I don't have no sunlight coming in. I don't even know what time of day it is. So then you start to understand that something's wrong. So then you're being honest with yourself. That doesn't change the fact that you still feel how you feel, but at least you are now more aware of how you're feeling. And that was when I realized that was a coping mechanism for me to sit in silence.

[B]

A healthy one, though.

[A]

And I do it every day to this day.

[B]

It's good to meditate and remain still, literally, people.

[A]

And this is not just for someone grieving. This is something that I strongly believe everyone should do. Sit in silence, whether it's for 30 minutes or an hour a day. And you will just see how you're able to declutter your mind and really maybe sit down and formulate your thoughts. And you know what? Let me start a business.

[B]

Yeah, write it down.

[A]

Something. It helps, though.

[B]

Absolutely. Journaling helps. It's helped me for. For. For beyond just grieving, just sitting in silence and then journaling.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

How can folks learn more about you and what's your dot com, give us all the fun stuff and how folks can connect with you?

[A]

So my website is ground zero with the numerical0.net, and I have a grief hotline number on there.

[B]

All right.

[A]

That people call me on. And that is when those that are totally helpless, you know, they feel like it's just. No. No one can help them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I've had a few calls where, you know, people were suicidal, and I don't know anything about them. I've never spoken with them. But that's when you have to really. This is something that you have to be passionate about because this person is calling you and they're telling you they want to die. They want to go with their loved one. I don't know anything about them. I don't know what having debriefed with them or anything. So now I'm speaking to them from someone. From a. Just a human. A human standpoint.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have to talk them off the ledge, and I have to let them know that their loved one would not want them to join them because if they did, then they would have already did it. It's not their time.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You're trying to speed up that process to join them when it's not your time. They want you still here. You matter. You're loved. I'm proud of you. And I'm proud of you for taking a step to call me. You know, so. No, it gets really real being a grief coach. And if you're not really ready to take on the traumas, and I'm an empath, so I really ingest it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So once I disconnect my calls, I'm still feeling it.

[B]

Oh, you're sitting there in it.

[A]

I'm still in it with you. So that's why it's not hard for me to get in and out that tunnel. Oh, it's not Hard for me.

[B]

Do you take some of these calls live? Like on a live stream or something? Kind of do your. It's all private.

[A]

I don't. Because the last thing that you want when you are in the throws of grief is a camera in your face and. And someone having an opinion about what you're personally going through. So. No, absolutely. That's one. I'm very protective.

[B]

Oh, good, good.

[A]

It's one thing that I want that I. I won't say I won't never do, but it's one thing that I'm not willing to do.

[B]

Sure. Maybe you should probably take some anecdotal stories and you know, the lessons from those stories and kind of have your personal ministry and you know, tap into an energy every Wednesday night or something. Have a live session. You never know who you'll speak to.

[A]

I actually like that because what I really want to do is be keynote speaker on a mass level.

[B]

You gotta start somewhere. Yeah.

[A]

I really want to speak to the masses because as we're talking right now, honey, someone died.

[B]

Yeah. Or several people have died.

[A]

Literally. Someone is the ink on a divorce. Someone literally just got a call. Cancer diagnosis. So I say that to say grief is literally happening. It's constant right now. It's constant, you know, so I. I really hope to just reach the masses on grief and letting them know that it's. It sucks.

[B]

That's part of the process of life, huh?

[A]

And life be life and life will be continue life. And my baby left me two years ago. And let me tell you, it only affects who would affect it. But I say that to say that just because I lost my baby, you got someone else who's goo goo gaga because they just bought new life into the world. So they're happy. I'm distraught, but that's life. So I tried not to bestow even when I was in the throes of grief. That's the main reason why I think I was in a dark tunnel so long. Because I refused to bestow my pain upon others. Because that's not fair. Walking around angry and. And cussing people out. I did that for a very brief time. And that's when I realized, you know what? I can't be in public. I'm out.

[B]

Yep, you isolate yourself.

[A]

But you got to have enough common sense to know that. Understand that someone doesn't care that you're grieving, that you just are totally rude to them. Guess what? They might have just lost their job. So now it's. It's where now everyone's Angry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, gosh, this is such a great podcast. I hope you had a fantastic time sharing your story, sharing your journey. Now we've wrapped up on this podcast. Any last words? Any. Anything you'd like to say before we wrap it up for good?

[A]

I do. I do want to let everyone know that it's literally okay to not be okay. Don't allow someone to make you feel guilty for your grief journey and know that no is a sentence. Don't do anything that you're not comfortable with. Don't allow anyone to dim your light. And more importantly, I'm proud of you because you literally, when you're in the throes of grief, it's so hard to show up for yourself, no matter what it looks like. Continue to talk to yourself. Continue to hug yourself. Love on yourself. That is another way how you are going to get through grief. I learned so much about myself. I mean, so much about myself that, I mean, I was like, oh, okay. And that's how I know my mother's proud of me. Because the way I felt two years ago and now I'm. It's a total 360.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I can only imagine what you'll feel two years from now.

[A]

Hopefully. Extreme gratification of helping thousands. I really. I really. That is my life mission. That is my life mission.

[B]

And I'm sure I speak for Kofi and the rest of the team here at Insight Success for letting us be part of your journey.

[A]

I thank you all for allowing me to get my journey out to the masses. That was something that I really overly like. It's. I couldn't. I can't thank you enough. So I do thank you.

[B]

Right on, Tali. And my grandma thanks you as well.

[A]

Listen, my mom's in this room, and your grandmother is in this room, and I feel the warmth. I do.

[B]

Yep. And with that. Oh, no, thank you, Tali. With that. This is Tali, and I'm Ray. And we are inside Success Sa.