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- [00:00]
A
The number one thing you can give to every single person you meet is a feeling. You hit them with a feeling. So when you leave them, whenever they hear your name, they feel a light, a light color.
- [00:12]
B
They just feel some weight carries on.
- [00:15]
A
That was somebody who I was safe because that's all we really want. Am I safe? Am I safe to be me? Am I safe to be heard? Am I safe to express myself? Am I safe to matter? And when you give someone that feeling, when you are in need, like real third world need, like hunger, food, depression, these types of things, you're going to have someone that's going to show up for you. Boyd Melson is a disciplined, resilient and service driven military leader and former professional boxing champion. Drawing from his unique experiences in the military and the boxing ring, he helps entrepreneurs, veterans and high performance leaders build emotional resilience and adaptability, empowering them to turn adversity into strategic momentum and building a foundation of true mental toughness, inclusive leadership and lifelong service. My stuff comes to me when I go for my runs and whenever I need to communicate with the source, I go for a jog. Something happens at a certain point of that run when I'm no longer thinking about left, right, left, right, that my mind starts to go places I don't. It doesn't go when I'm not exercising. And that's what I feel is like prayer for me. Information comes and I remember one time information came and it said it spans the globe like a super high as cold Internet Elvis ready for free. Today Apple is going to reinvent the phone. It's not over until I win the Living youg Legacy Podcast. For those who live to leave a legacy that's extraordinary. The impossible. Oh, that is sensational. Jordan Open Chicago with the lead Usain Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You can live your dream.
- [02:09]
B
Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Living your Legacy podcast. I'm your host for today, Jason Tyler and I am joined by Boyd Melson. Boyd, welcome to the show. Pleasure to have you.
- [02:19]
A
I'm so happy to be here.
- [02:21]
B
I'm happy to have you.
- [02:22]
A
Thank you, brother.
- [02:23]
B
It is always a pleasure. It is always a pleasure. Now Boyd, we just got finished recording your episode for Legacy Makers. Which guys, if you, if there's, if I ever recommend for you to watch an episode of Legacy Makers, it's going to be Boyd's episode. But now on the other side of filming, what would you say is like the, the number one thing you want people to be able to take away from your Experience.
- [02:47]
A
It goes back to what you said. And it's one of the tracks on my spoken word album. And it's about giving a. I have a track called Give a Feeling, and I talk about in the track that we're always told it's better to give than to receive. And we hear this throughout our childhood, and we try to live it. And what I've learned, or my understanding at least, is that people think of things tangible, always about giving. And then what they do is they look at what they have, and based off the amount of items they have, they create a value system for other people's worths based off what they have and decide what they think they can afford to give. And may not always be so altruistic, may also be because they want something in return. And then we also live knowing that we try to do that and we don't always get something back. And we're like, I thought why this
- [03:44]
B
was give and take. I thought this was a. Yeah, was an exchange, right.
- [03:49]
A
Why was I told it's better to give than or receive, and I'm not receiving anything, but I'm giving. Well, my track is. And this is what I'd like people to know. The number one thing you can give to every single person you meet is a feeling you give them with a. You hit them with a feeling. So when you leave them, whenever they hear your name, they feel a light, a light color.
- [04:13]
B
They just feel some weight.
- [04:16]
A
That was somebody who I was safe. Because that's all we really want, my safe. Am I safe to be me? Am I safe to be heard? Am I safe to express myself? Am I safe to matter? And when you give someone that feeling, when you are in need, like real third world need, like hunger, food pressure, these types of things, you're going to have someone that's going to show up for you because of how you made them feel.
- [04:42]
B
Yep. And for any of my clients that I've interviewed that are that might be watching this episode, you guys will know exactly the quote that he's referencing. People forget what you said. People forget what you did, but people will never forget the way that you made them feel.
- [04:54]
A
Got it.
- [04:55]
B
That's, you know, that's my favorite quote. And I live by that, too, because it's not just, I try to create that environment in the studio when I'm interviewing people, I try to create that environment of safety. And when it goes to your story, I feel like with. With your story, you have your. Your background, you know, Louisiana Creole, dad, military for 35 years. Jewish immigrant mom. Your background is that of, like, you there might have been, growing up in Brooklyn, a feeling of, like, a lack of safety. And yet you provide so much of it for everybody else. Talk to me a little bit just about, like, what that experience is like for you.
- [05:41]
A
It's interesting because I always was cognizant that I kind of never had a group. And I would watch my friends all having their clique, and I'd see lots of clicks. But what I learned is I was always, almost always welcomed into their clique, but I was never a part of the clique. And I would bounce from click to click to click.
- [06:03]
B
I did the same thing. I used to do the same thing. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I'm growing up half white, half black in Miami. It's always been kind of just like, oh, I'm just gonna bounce over here, but I can hang out with them. But. But you never feel like a unique sense of home in a. In a particular group of people. That's. That's been my experience.
- [06:25]
A
It's been mine. You know, we have androgynous DNA, and I think it creates you with genetic compassion that you're not even aware of. It's the epigenetic factor of everything that went into us, and then being exposed to the world and how it influences certain things inside of us that we weren't even aware of. I believe why I'm so big on accuracy, because I lived being judged off of behaviors or looks and then lived watching it happen. Lived where people didn't understand what I'm mixed with. So I hear them say some nasty things about something I'm mixed with that they don't know that I am.
- [07:06]
B
They don't have the actual context for
- [07:09]
A
what they're talking about. Hearing that. And it's like I get to be. I am an undercover brother. Absolutely. I'm the brother that when I was at West Point, all the brothers used to love ragging on me. We still got our group because of how light I am. And our group had some light skinned brothers too, but typical light skinned, like.
- [07:28]
B
Yeah, more my.
- [07:29]
A
And when they would rag on me, I would always. I'm like you. So. What are you laughing at? You. I. You're so lucky I'm here so they're not riding you. You're so lucky. I know. Yeah.
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B
You're so.
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A
I bet you want me always around so the heat gets taken off of you.
- [07:46]
B
Ye. Yeah. But you're like, pulling a little bit of that. That attention towards you, and he gets to dodge it. By. Just by association. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. There was a. There was a thing. There was a thing that we had talked about just right after we wrapped. And I want to. I want to touch on that because I want to. During your boxing career, I want to tell that story that you were telling me of the guy that you went to touch gloves with and you were
- [08:08]
A
like, oh, that was Keith Thurman. Be safe out there.
- [08:13]
B
That threw me. That would throw me for such a loop. And like, you know, the audience, the viewers that are watching this, they. They're not going to have the context for your boxing story. But you obviously, guys, if you're watching this podcast episode, make sure that you check out Boyd's episode of Legacy Makers, which will be coming out shortly after this episode airs. But give me a little bit of context leading into that fight, because that story killed me.
- [08:38]
A
Well, it wasn't just Keith. I would do this with everybody. And I be. I lost to Keith at the Olympic trash Thurman, and I. And I had a victory against him the year before. And so mind you, I'm in this. I didn't grow up boxing, and I'm also in my early 20s, so I'm older than everybody and I'm an officer and I undergraduate. And I finished my MBA during that time, too. I'm trained to lead men. That's where. And women, that's where I went to school to do that. And so I see them as they were children, even though they punched me in the mouth. They're 17 and 18. I'm 23, but I'm in a very different space. I was being trained to lead people in combat environments, so I care about them differently. For me, this is a part of my life. For them, it was their whole life. With this being a part of my life, I know it's going to end. And this being their whole life, I want them to still be able to be incredible in this. We're just competing against each other. I need you to be healthy after so you can live a successful life. And that's what I would think. And I would want them to know this because that's what I felt I was saying when I went to touch Olympic trials. I was in Houston in 07. I'm fighting Keith. And people started to learn that this is how I am. Like, I would hang out at weigh ins, I would talk to my opponents when they were getting off the scale. Like, how's it? Like really meaning it? Cause it's not. I know we're fight we're gonna box. But you don't hate. We don't have any bad feelings towards each other.
- [10:02]
B
We barely have enough context for each other to have bad feelings.
- [10:05]
A
Yeah. We don't even know anything about. And so I remember we go in the center of the ring, and I. I touched Keith. I said this to everybody. I said, oh, be safe out there. And I said, be safe. And as soon as I said, he yelled his head back and just walked beeline straight to this corner. Didn't want to hear any of it. And then one of my old teammates used to say, it's because you do those mind games voodoo on people. You befriend your people.
- [10:25]
B
You're in the ring doing Jedi mind tricks.
- [10:27]
A
Yeah, but I'm not befriending them to then want like. But I'm going to kill you. When we've. It's the same even when we're competing,
- [10:33]
B
the energy is going to be exact the same.
- [10:35]
A
Yeah.
- [10:36]
B
Regardless of the context of whether we're in a fight or if we're before the fight, your energy towards somebody is the same. It's that of someone that cares.
- [10:44]
A
Yeah.
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B
And you brought up leadership, which you had a great quote towards the end of your episode where you said that leadership means that you care about something enough.
- [10:54]
A
Leadership is a phenomenon that happens when you care about something enough. So what the phenomenon is, it's somebody is doing, having their behaviors in alignment with what's in their head to go out and get something that they want. And often it can involve moving pieces. You have to interact with other people. And then there's the leadership component. Leading yourself, the avatar we're in, and interacting with other people and their avatars, and. And at a minimum, it's yourself every time you feel compelled to do something, anything.
- [11:32]
B
I want to take a second here because at the end of your episode, I remember we were going through this segment, and I was like, all right, there's this business and then this business and then this venture, and you have your hands in so many things, and it goes to your core principle, which is caring do the things that you care about with your main overarching mission of curing the world of spinal cord injuries. So I want to take a second to just kind of talk about the different things that you've been a part of and are continuing to be a part of and what's going on in Boyd's world today.
- [12:07]
A
What's going on in my world today. I have to go out to USC for my second on campus weekend as part of this doctoral program. And we are. I have the first draft of chapter one, the introduction of my doctorate, due June 7th. So have that. We are filming our documentary, Unseen Warriors. Hopefully we'll have all the filming done by the end of August. And when we have the glorified sparring match, Donnie and me. And Donnie again is a double leg amputee and a lower lumbar spinal cord injury. And I'm gonna be in a wheelchair across from him. Sean Porter, two time world champ, is gonna fly in to be where Donnie's corner, Demetrius Andrade, who is a two time world champ, is going to work. My corner, Demetrius, is who I lost to in the finals of the U.S. championships.
- [12:54]
B
I remember hearing his name and being
- [12:55]
A
like, yeah, Boo Boo. And then Boo Boo's brother, three years ago became paraplegic. And that's what I always talk about. We come into this world in bundles. It reminds me. And I told Boo Boo, do you know how crazy it is? It's only 300,000Americans at any given time. And your brother, with your closeness to me now has paraplegia. Do you know how the odds of that are? But then I'd say maybe the odds were 100% because we made these decisions and that's why we're in each other's lives. And Sean and booboo are my two closest friends from my amateur days. Also, my wife's nickname for me is Boo Boo. And so sometimes when she says, I love you, Boo Boo. I miss you so much, I screenshot it and I text that to Boo Boo and I say, my wife just text me this. I just want to say f you because we're closed like that. So he always cracks up.
- [13:54]
B
Yeah. Oh, man, it's great having like, just having that relationship and being able to just crack that joke. It's such a. It's so niche and specific.
- [14:06]
A
Yeah.
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B
But like, that's. It goes back to what we were talking about, right. With like, I. I think that the. You. The language of the universe is statistical improbability. The universe is talking to you. When the things that are statistically improbable happen to you, that's where. That's where the universe is trying to tell you to move.
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A
Yeah.
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B
So when something happens, you're like, what the heck are the odds? That's the universe telling you, hey, message.
- [14:33]
A
You look. You look at the outlier under the bell curve. The outlier behavior is happening.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Just let you know this. Maybe these people you're paying attention to.
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B
Yeah. My attention is diverted because it's so improv. It's so unlikely to happen that it's like, I gotta. I gotta pay attention here because clearly. Clearly someone trying to send me a message.
- [14:52]
A
So check this out. You remember the. From Cool Runnings, The. The actor who is the lead of the boxes, and he's in above the. Above the rim, right?
- [14:59]
B
Yeah.
- [14:59]
A
Three years ago, I go to Barclays game. He's sitting directly in front of me. Like, five months ago, Maya invited me to Alan Houston's watch party. That was a game. Brunson hit a three with, like, two seconds left against the Pacers to win, and he's there. And then two weeks after that, I am flying, and he's right behind me to get on the airplane. The same celebrity actor three times. And that time I turned around and I said, hey, man, I just saw you at Alan Houston's watch party. He kind of paid attention. I was like, one. Remember Brunson hit three. He was like, oh, yeah, and there's something happening. I forget his name. I'm supposed to be doing something with him in this world that doesn't make sense. Right? It's an outlier three times, and out of all places, he's right behind me to get on the airplane, the lead.
- [15:45]
B
First of all, tens of thousands of people walk through that airport at any given time. This again, it goes back to what I was saying. Statistical improbability that's so unlikely that you have to look at it and be
- [15:57]
A
like, all right, what am I supposed to be doing?
- [15:59]
B
What do you. What do you want me to do? All right, let me. Let me do something. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because that's the universe prodding you to move in a direction. Because a lot of I. I feel like if you don't speak that, it's a language. And if you don't speak that language a lot, that's what can breed stagnant. Like, you can stagnate without the. The impetus to want to move forward in any direction. A lot of people, like, your central nervous system is constantly trying to tell you to be safe, stagnant. And, hey, this right here that we got going on is safe. We can stay right here. If it was up to my nervous system, I'd be in bed damn near all day. But because life is the way that life is, I have drivers that move me in different directions. And so, like, that's a big thing for me is statistical improbability. I tell this. If my girl ever watches this, she'll probably laugh at this.
- [16:55]
A
I gotta Read this poem to you. Then, since you're talking about statistics, I just had it here, and I read this to Ms. Angelina, and I had a fan, and I knew that if I kept her attention, it was good. So remember the P value stats? So P value to be statistically significant, it's gotta be 0.05 or less, which means 95% of the time you can expect the thing to repeat. You try to get it to 0.01, which means 99% of the times this will repeat. But it can never be zero because there's always a chance something could happen.
- [17:28]
B
There's always. There's. There will always be a finite chance.
- [17:32]
A
So there has to be a P value. It has to exist because it's impossible for not to. Like, if I've tried something a billion times, like we got a billion in first, may have given you a different result. So that's why error always exists. So this is a poem I put at the end of my book, learn their bcbs. And that again, is using statistic principles to apply to create a framework for when you're dating. It's really relationship building, but I built it around dating in the book. And then I write this poem at the end about the P VA reminder for anybody who has really been through it emotionally at the romance. And you just don't believe that there's somebody out there. So this is the poem. You ready?
- [18:10]
B
All right, let's do it.
- [18:11]
A
It's called the P value Reminder. I am a P value. I am necessary. I produce value. I'm the constant that proves nothing is absolute. I am the realization that it is possible. Only my absence is truly impossible. I am the never ending quest that searches for your imperfection. I remind you that if you search long enough, you will eventually prove my existence. I am the inevitable evidence that humans are not perfect. I always account for your flaws. And even though I always find at least one, that is what makes you most unique. I am the possibility that what you believe may not be true and what you don't believe may be true. I help you learn through loss. I am your reason to get back up. I am invisible until you try one more time. I am the reason you should never give up. Because no matter my value, regardless of my size, there is always hope. I am the P value reminder. The end.
- [19:23]
B
You are full. You guys don't have context for this, but I've just sat with Boyd for about what, three hours? And during the course of which I had to both myself and Jay, we had to take Notes about five or seven different times. Because you were so full of amazing quotables, we could write your whole episode is going to be quotable. I want to take a second here because we're as. We kind of, as we kind of wind down the podcast, I ask this of all of my guests on the show. But for the viewer out there, our audience, they're very entrepreneurial, they're very business minded. For the viewer out there who's, like we were talking about earlier, stagnated, who's stuck, who's feeling like they don't know what direction to go in. What is Boyd's number one tip for success?
- [20:18]
A
One of the things I focus on, you have noise and you have signal. That's what it always is in stats. Noise over signal. Signal over signal over noise. I'm sorry, rather you're trying to get it so that what you are doing cancels the noise out and everything's attributed to the signal. Like this is happening because of this. So our. Our themes we have. Because we're the only person that's lived every moment of our lives. We're the only person that's ever lived every moment or will ever. Or will ever. You're right. And we never miss a day. We've been here for the whole ride. There are things that if you live, when you start living long enough, you look back and you start to see what were the things that served as your signal? You know, how was it received and how did you experience it when you achieved it and when it was received. And then you have the stuff that served as noise, you may have got enjoyment out of, but it didn't really. It didn't really relate to anything else that you care. You seem to.
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B
It didn't really contribute.
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A
Yeah, yeah, it didn't. Outside of maybe an immediate joy, but that's about it.
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B
A jolt of emotion.
- [21:27]
A
I tell when you're not happy, the frame I use is channel your signal. Introspect. It's always inwards. And start remembering what brought you joy and what relationships brought you joy. And the best place to start is when you've figured out who. What has brought you joy, reach out to that person and start talking out loud about what you care about. And the other thing, you're lonely, Go volunteer somewhere. You'll meet people that are in their best space, their best version of themselves. Volunteering, especially when it's to help others who don't have as much. You're lonely, Go volunteer. You'll meet incredible people in their best space. And that's when you get to talk
- [22:23]
B
about what you care about, if you're lonely, go volunteer. I love the concept of that because when I think about. I actually just had a conversation about this with another guest of the show, and we were talking about the way they framed their answer to the same question was, if you're passionate about something, go either start a club or be a part of a club. But I like the way that you framed it, which is go volunteer. Because you're meeting people where they are at their best selves, I think that's phenomenal advice. And for guys, if you're out there watching and if you're. You're probably watching this episode and you're like, man, why does Boyd have so many great quotes? If you're watching this and you've made it to this point in the podcast, first of all, I want to make sure that you guys check out Boyd's episode of Legacy Makers coming out shortly after this podcast airs. Boyd, you have a plethora of different business endeavors, different ventures, different nonprofits, charities, what. Where can people find you most on the Internet, so they can keep in
- [23:30]
A
touch with everything that you've got going on Facebook and. And Instagram, the ones I'm on the most, and LinkedIn. And it's Boyd. B O Y D Melson. M as in Mary E L S O N. I've. I've lived a pretty interesting life that crosses over across different themes and touches lives of celebrities, sometimes in the military and all that. And I have a lot of friends. They asked me, how come you don't have a million followers? I have 2600 followers, maybe saying, I don't know what it takes to get a million followers or do anything like that. I just, I love connecting with human beings, so I'm available. You know, when I was on the Breakfast Club, I gave out my personal email because I said, if you're spy, if you have a spinal cord injury, please reach out to me. I had like 30 something people over the course of a month who listen and reached out. I'm serious. I get. And I gave the email. I was happy. They took me up on it. I also said a preference like, if you don't have a serious thing, please don't be an a hole. And just.
- [24:29]
B
Yeah, wait, so all 30 of them, they were spot.
- [24:32]
A
They were spinal cord injured.
- [24:34]
B
Like a statistical improbability because out of 300,000, 30 of them were.
- [24:39]
A
So maybe I'm exaggerating on the number 30. Maybe it's closer to 20 then and not Everybody was the person paralyzed. They knew somebody paralyzed.
- [24:47]
B
All, oh, yeah, six degrees of separation.
- [24:50]
A
Yeah. Well.
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B
Oh, yeah.
- [24:51]
A
One last thing I want to share. So it's funny when you say you get these quotes. My stuff comes to me when I go for my runs, and whenever I need to communicate with the source, I go for a jog. Something happens at a certain point of that run when I. When I'm no longer thinking about left, right, left, right, that my mind starts to go places I don't. It doesn't go when I'm not exercising, especially towards the very end when I always pick it up and exhaust myself. And then those first few steps of cooling down after I really push it out at the end, information comes. And that's what I feel is like prayer for me. Information comes. And I remember one time information came and it said, people who are quick to judge have not have things they have yet to forgive themselves about. And I thought about that, and I thought about, you know, that person that used to be overweight and now they don't have any time for anybody. Overweight, fat, lazy. It's fundamental.
- [26:00]
B
They haven't forgiven themselves.
- [26:01]
A
They never forgave them. Because anybody could be anybody. You happen to be in this one. It could be anybody. So when they see what they could be and they despise that, it's because they didn't forgive themselves. And I can kind of and not
- [26:15]
B
forgive themselves for being overweight, but forgive themselves probably for the way that they thought about themselves while they were overweight.
- [26:23]
A
I better talk.
- [26:25]
B
Yeah, it's a bit of both.
- [26:26]
A
Yeah, Yeah, I agree. It kind of falls out to what Carl Jung used to talk about with shadow. Shadow casting, and which you see when you. How you behave towards somebody is something you don't like about yourself or know about yourself. So I just used the forgiveness. Forgive about themselves. And then that still goes into the bigger message I read when I hear Yeshua talking, and that is that you need to forgive yourself because you're going to do things now that since it's still going to be you in the same body, is going to bring you pain in the future. So forgive yourself. You didn't know what you were doing, man.
- [27:05]
B
I could sit here and do this podcast all day. Boyd, it has been an incredible pleasure having you here in the studio, brother. You and I have more things to catch up on, I'm sure. But, guys, for y' all out there watching this episode again, I'm gonna reiterate. This is the third time I'm probably saying that you have to go check out Boy's episode, but this has been another episode of the Living youg Legacy podcast. Guys, I will catch y' all in the next one.
- [27:35]
A
Sam.