The Lord of Spirits Podcast: "One Flesh"

Episode Date: January 27, 2023
Hosts: Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick & Fr. Stephen De Young
Podcast Theme: The Seen and Unseen World in Orthodox Christian Tradition
Episode Focus: The Mystery of Marriage—its origins, theology, history, spiritual meaning, and implications for Orthodox Christian life

Episode Overview

This episode explores the spiritual reality and ancient roots of marriage within the Orthodox Christian tradition. The hosts trace marriage from its biblical beginnings, through patriarchal stories, its treatment by the prophets and Christ himself, and its ultimate meaning as an icon of Christ's union with the Church. Using scripture, theology, and historical context, Frs. Andrew and Stephen connect the seen and unseen aspects of marriage, unravel its sacramental nature, and highlight how these insights affect Orthodox Christian communal and parish life today.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Marriage in the Creation Narrative

Timestamps: 06:11–26:35

• Humanity in God's Image

  • Humanity is created to bear the image of God—not a static quality, but a capacity to be exercised in the world (06:19–06:33).
  • Both male and female are explicitly said to bear God’s image—a radical notion for the ancient world (07:04–11:04).
    • Fr. Andrew: “This is radical. Here we go. Somebody will quote this, right? The Bible teaches radical egalitarianism for the Bronze Age.” (11:13)
  • Contrasts with ancient Greek thought (Aristotle, Hippocratic texts), which often saw women as a different (even defective) species (08:24–10:12).

• Adam's Aloneness and the Creation of Woman

  • The 'aloneness' of Adam is not psychological loneliness but the lack of another to fulfill the command to "fill the earth and subdue it" (13:15–13:49).
  • Woman (Eve) is created from Adam's "side," not merely a rib: the word indicates being pulled apart into two which are rejoined in "one flesh" through marriage (18:24–19:50).
    • Fr. Stephen: "The word in Hebrew and Greek, they do not mean rib. ... Every other time, it means 'side,' as in one half of a structure." (18:25–19:04)
  • The "one flesh" union of husband and wife mirrors the primordial human wholeness.

• Wedding as Sacrament

  • Humanity is divided into male and female, and marriage reunites two as one flesh, foundational to human purpose and the oldest sacrament (25:34–26:35).

2. Patriarchal Marriages: Patterns and Lessons

Timestamps: 26:55–55:24

• Abraham and Sarah: Archetype of faithfulness, though Abraham's faith is notably weakest in his dealings with Sarah (28:15–30:44).

• Isaac and Rebecca: The Bible’s ideal marriage. Isaac loves Rebecca (arranged marriage), which was radical and atypical for their era (30:58–34:19).

  • Romantic love as a modern construct is discussed (35:08–39:57).
  • Biblical love is concrete, self-sacrificial, and active, not merely feeling or desire (41:45–45:23).

• Jacob, Leah, Rachel, and Concubines: The polygamy of Jacob (and others) is shown to cause endless strife and is never depicted as righteous or positive (46:15–48:52).

  • The Bible describes polygamy but does not endorse it (48:11).

• Joseph and Asenath: Their mixed marriage prompts later Jewish/Christian literature to frame her conversion and their union as a type of Gentile inclusion into God’s family (49:41–55:03).

  Notable Quote:

  • "You see with Reuben... incest problems. And all I'll say is to the modern day, polygamous situations show those same exact issues. This has never been done well." (46:52–47:18)

3. Marriage in Wisdom Literature and the Prophets

Timestamps: 55:40–64:07

• "Rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Proverbs 5:18): addresses faithfulness in arranged marriages and the temptation to trade in an early wife for a more desirable one later in life (55:59–57:28).

  • Faithfulness is not just about keeping commandments but fulfilling roles and responsibilities within the community and family (58:20–59:25).

• Malachi 2:13–15:

  • God rebukes those who are unfaithful to their marital covenants, linking faithfulness in marriage with faithfulness to God (61:23–62:45).

  Notable Quote (Malachi 2):

  • "Did he not make them one with a portion of the spirit in their union?" (88:02–88:47)
  • "If you do these things, then you will be blessed. ... Not if you do the sacrifices correctly." (63:00–64:07)

4. Marriage in the New Testament

Timestamps: 64:33–70:40

• Marital Qualifications for Clergy: "Husband of one wife" more about lifelong faithfulness than about simultaneous polygamy (64:38–65:44).
• Marriage as Norm in Christian Life: Celibacy is not superior; the married state is assumed as typical for Christian leaders and laity, with singleness or celibacy a specific vocation (67:57–70:14).

5. Teachings of Christ on Marriage

Timestamps: 70:46–78:17

• Matthew 19:3–12: Christ roots marriage in God’s original intent—male and female, joined as one flesh by God. Divorce is a concession for human hardness of heart, not part of God's design (70:56–74:07).
• Celibacy as a Calling: Christ calls celibacy a special gift; the expectation is marriage unless one is called otherwise (77:16–78:10).
• Polygamy in the Old Covenant: Even where not explicitly prohibited, it is described negatively; Deuteronomy and Leviticus condemned it through idiomatic language about "sister to sister" (78:17–81:26).

6. Development of Jewish and Christian Wedding Rituals

Timestamps: 86:28–123:43

• Malachi 2:15 as Sacramental Proof-Text:

  • "God makes them one and gives a portion of the spirit in their union. That’s not a human activity, not a contract. That's a sacrament." (92:12–92:49)

• Who Officiated Ancient Weddings?:

  • Initially, patriarchs and then presbyters (elders); institutionalized as families and then communities grew (95:07–96:55).

• Bride Price, Dowry, and Dower:

  • Bride price was restitution, not a purchase—marriage meant loss of labor and support for the bride’s family (97:02–103:10).

  Memorable Story:

  • Fr. Andrew: "I could not take this man's daughter and his dog... So we left the dog." (102:11–103:10)

• Transition from Pagan/Roman to Christian Weddings:

  • Roman weddings full of idolatrous rituals, invoking household gods and superstitions (112:06–117:41).
  • Christians, even before formalized church weddings, did not practice such customs; early Christian weddings were shaped by Jewish and reformed Gentile traditions, later incorporating the Eucharist (119:31–123:25).

• Ongoing Cultural Adaptation:

  • Christian communities adapt elements from surrounding cultures, but must discern what is consistent with a Christian vision of marriage (129:12–130:18).

7. Sacramental Mystery: Marriage as Christ and the Church

Timestamps: 139:29–164:38

• Marriage as Icon of Theosis:

  • Ephesians 5:32: "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (140:35–140:43)
  • The marital union is not only analogous to, but derives its meaning from, the union of Christ and his Church (149:39–149:52).

• Old Testament Nuptial Imagery:

  • God's relationship to Israel frequently depicted as marriage; unfaithful Israel as an adulterous spouse (Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezekiel 16).

• Christ as Bridegroom:

  • NT parables, the crucifixion (Christ’s side opened as Adam’s was), and Revelation’s marriage supper of the Lamb complete the pattern (155:38–159:12).

  Notable Quotes:

  • "Marriage is the participation in this larger reality of Christ’s marriage with the Church, this cosmic reality of Christ’s work, and therefore is a means and path of theosis." (160:30–161:07)

8. Marriage as Means of Salvation and Community

Timestamps: 161:12–179:32

• Married Life as Theosis:
  • Marriage is not an end in itself, but a means of serving, self-sacrificing, and participating in God’s life (163:09–164:13).
  • The Holy Spirit animates the marriage; faithfulness to Christian life draws the Spirit into that union (165:13–166:20).
  • Even if only one spouse is striving for faithfulness, it sanctifies the marriage and the other (168:05–168:55).

9. Critique of the "Nuclear Family" and True Christian Community

Timestamps: 170:19–179:32

• Expanding Family Beyond the Nuclear Model:

  • Many who are single, widowed, or childless feel left out by the narrow nuclear family ideal; ancient Christian and Hebrew family meant a large, supportive, extended household (171:09–174:27).

  Fr. Andrew:

  • "That idea of a family is just too small... No human can fulfill all another’s needs." (172:31–173:40)
  • "Every Christian becomes part of the household of God. Brothers and sisters was meant completely seriously." (175:04–176:33)
  • "Even if you’re not a married person, you're still part of this household... a family." (177:40–177:54)

• Parishes as Spiritual Families:

  • Orthodox parishes must live as extended families, providing roles, support, and community for all—married, single, with or without children.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "The Bible teaches radical egalitarianism for the Bronze Age." – Fr. Andrew (11:13)
• "The word in Hebrew and Greek, they do not mean rib. ... Every other time, it means 'side,' as in one half of a structure." – Fr. Stephen (18:25)
• "Love is always something concrete, something you do, something you choose, regardless of how you feel." – Fr. Andrew (42:19–42:54)
• "Marriage is a means for salvation, a means of theosis, a means of becoming one with God." – Fr. Stephen (163:33)
• "No human can do that for any other human." – Fr. Andrew on the myth of fulfillment by a spouse (173:32)
• "Every Christian becomes part of the household of God." – Fr. Andrew (175:22)

Key Timestamps for Reference

• 06:11–26:35 – Creation, the meaning of "one flesh"
• 26:55–55:24 – Patriarchal marital models
• 61:23–64:07 – Malachi’s challenge on marital faithfulness
• 70:56–77:03 – Christ’s teaching on marriage and divorce
• 86:28–92:49 – The Spirit in marriage (Malachi 2:15) as the sacramental core
• 112:06–119:13 – Pagan Roman wedding customs vs. Christian
• 139:29–142:18 – Ephesians 5 and the Christ-church mystery
• 170:19–179:32 – Extended parish family; critique of the nuclear family

Summary Table: The Progression of Marriage in Salvation History

| Era/Context | Marriage Theme | |--------------------------|--------------------------------------------------| | Genesis Creation | Image of God, reunion of divided humanity | | Patriarchs | Faithfulness, problems of polygamy, conversion | | Wisdom/Prophets | Joy and fidelity, marriage as covenant, God’s faithfulness | | Christ’s Teaching | Return to original intent, sacramental union by God | | Early Church | Sacrament, proof-texts, Eucharistic context | | NT Theology | Marriage as icon of Christ and Church, theosis | | Orthodox Practice | Marriage as communal mystery, family as parish |

Concluding Message

The Orthodox Christian understanding of marriage is deeply spiritual, ancient, and cosmic in dimension—rooted in God’s original creation, expressed in Israel’s vocation, fulfilled in Christ’s union with the Church, and sacramentally alive in the daily lives of believers. Marriage is an icon, a means of theosis, and the family of God is radically inclusive, extending healing, purpose, and belonging to all.

To connect, learn, or ask follow-up questions, the hosts invite listeners to email or message the podcast.

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