0037. Jim Florentine and Ryan Shaner

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Luis and Zac Show - Episode 0037: Jim Florentine and Ryan Shaner

Release Date: February 16, 2025

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Introduction to Guests

In this episode of The Luis and Zac Show, hosts Luis J. Gomez and Zach Amico welcome back two familiar voices from the comedy world: Jim Florentine and Ryan Shaner, both of whom are celebrated contributors to the Everybody is Awful podcast. The hosts express enthusiasm about their guests, highlighting Jim’s return to the show and Ryan’s past involvement with the End Podcast.

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Mustache Grooming and Personal Appearance

The conversation kicks off with a light-hearted discussion about grooming, particularly focusing on Zach's recent decision to shave his mustache—a look he hadn't sported since 2015. Luis compliments Zach's clean-shaven appearance, remarking, “With the mustache, but when you shave it down, you got a like an actually goodlook face” (03:20). This segues into a humorous exchange about personal appearance standards and the social perceptions tied to facial hair.

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Historical Insights on Penicillin

The group delves into a historical anecdote about the first injection of penicillin in 1941. Shannon introduces the story: “In 1941, Columbus ate a honey” [08:32], which Luis clarifies refers to penicillin being administered to a patient with a severe infection after scratching his face on a rose bush. They discuss the life-saving impact of penicillin and its modern uses, including treatment for syphilis and gonorrhea. The discussion emphasizes the importance of antibiotics in combating bacterial infections.

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Personal Experiences with STDs and Health

The hosts and guests share candid stories about their experiences with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Luis narrates receiving a text about testing positive for an STD: “It was like, hey, you know, someone that, you know you've slept with has tested positive for some disease” (10:07). Zach reveals his struggle with being falsely accused of transmitting herpes, leading to anxiety and unnecessary medical cycles. The conversation highlights the stigma and misunderstandings surrounding STDs, as well as the importance of communication and responsible behavior in intimate relationships.

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Comedic Segment: "Is She Herpes Hot?"

One of the standout segments of the episode is the creation of a new comedic bit titled "Is She Herpes Hot?" Here, the hosts humorously debate the attractiveness of various celebrities and whether they would risk contracting herpes from them. Notable exchanges include:

• Luis: “Is she herpes hot? That's a fucking great.”
• Zach: “Would you risk it for Natalie Portman?”
• Jim: “Scarlett Johansson’s nudes got leaked a few years back. That was awesome.”

The segment plays on the absurdity of associating celebrity attractiveness with the risk of contracting STDs, showcasing the hosts' sharp wit and unfiltered humor.

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High School Anecdotes and Mischief

Jim Florentine reminisces about his rebellious days in school during the 60s, mentioning, “I got kicked out of Catholic school” (53:19). Zach shares his tumultuous high school experience running for school president with satirical campaign posters that mocked classmates' names, leading to multiple expulsions. These stories provide a glimpse into the hosts' formative years, highlighting their penchant for mischief and irreverent humor.

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Tattoo Tales and Personal Marks

The conversation shifts to tattoos, with Luis expressing frustration over the symmetrical placement of his own tattoos: “All my tattoos are symmetrical. Like, I realized that I have them in the same places all over my body” (46:00). Zach admits to having no tattoos, citing indecision in choosing designs. Jim also clarifies that he doesn't have tattoos, reinforcing the group's camaraderie and differing personal styles. The dialogue underscores the personal significance tattoos hold for individuals and the varying attitudes toward body art.

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Promotions and Show Updates

Throughout the episode, the hosts and guests intermittently promote their respective projects:

• Jim Florentine: Promotes his new comedy special, “You Can’t Please Them All,” available on Amazon Prime (40:05).
• Ryan Shaner: Announces upcoming live events, including wrestling championships and collaborations with the Legion of Skanks (40:12).

These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the show’s energetic and supportive atmosphere.

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Interactive Segment: Listener Engagement and GoFundMe

A notable portion of the episode involves Shannon, the show's producer, bringing up a GoFundMe campaign aimed at funding Shannon's cosmetic procedures. The hosts brainstorm creative and outrageous incentives to encourage donations, such as:

• Luis: “We can just make this a verb. Would you risk it for Emma Watson?”
• Zach: “Would you risk it for Kelly Ripa?”

The discussion veers into absurd territory, reflecting the show's unapologetic and comedic nature. Despite the over-the-top suggestions, the underlying intent is to engage listeners in a humorous fundraising effort.

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Closing Remarks and Final Bants

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and guests engage in playful banter, continuing their trademark humor. Topics range from critiques of celebrity photo shoots to exaggerated plans for future episodes. The energy remains high, leaving listeners entertained and anticipating future shows.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Luis J. Gomez: “You just smell her hands and hair. Ah, you get sick because these little kids get sick a lot.” (01:37)
• Zach Amico: “I'm thinking about it the whole thing is if we were texting or sexting...” (15:19)
• Jim Florentine: “We did that around the school. Yeah.” (07:27)
• Luis J. Gomez: “She wasn't hot enough to like.” (27:43)

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Conclusion

Episode 0037 of The Luis and Zac Show delivers a blend of historical insights, personal anecdotes, and sharp comedic segments, all wrapped in the hosts' fearless and unapologetic delivery. With engaging discussions on health, personal grooming, and playful takes on celebrity culture, the episode offers a wild and entertaining ride for listeners, staying true to the show's reputation as a comedy revolution.

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Timestamps Reference

• [00:00] to [78:27] - Transcript spans from the start to nearly 78 minutes.
• Key sections are timestamped as referenced above for notable quotes and discussions.

Transcript

[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Zach Amico]

Fill her up. You're listening to the gas Digital network.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what time it is? They say life a bit tighter. Night boy we diving in. We got Zach amico sending shots red dot he the sniper Lewis see your wife and open Micah he go Piper, Lewis and Z back then it came.

[Jim Florentine]

To attack spilling crack on the track.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Indeed. It's your boy L J go Puerto Rican rattlesnake. Louis and Zach show. Zacho's here.

[Ryan Shaner]

How you doing, pal?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sub, you feeling better? You look better.

[Ryan Shaner]

I feel better, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Zach was rough for a few days. Zach was. Zach was sick.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's result of living with somebody who works with children.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yep. You know, it's a double edged sword being a pedophile. It kind of rules.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh yeah, I mean you get first choice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just, you just smell her hands and hair. Ah, you get sick because these little kids get sick a lot. This is the Lewis and Zach show. We have a great show planned today. Very excited. Shout out to everyone in the racist live chat that is joining us, all you fucking [e-mail], the number one subscription you can get. I mean, let's get real for the bank, for the buck. Thousands and thousands of hours of content uncensored, ad free, not available anywhere else. Bonus Friday show for Lewis and Zach. Bonus Friday show for Legion of skanks. I mean, come on, baby boys, get out there and subscribe. If you're watching this on YouTube, you hate censorship, you hate advertising. We all know it. Gas digital.com use that promo code LAZ get instant access to everything. Pretty fucking sick at a discount by the way. You get a discount with that LAZ promo code. Two incredible guests on the show today from the everybody is awful podcast. I think first time on Lewis Zach, but you know, obviously an old real ass podcast alum, the great Jim Florentine back on the show.

[Jim Florentine]

Good to see you guys, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's up kid?

[Jim Florentine]

How's it going?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chilling, Feeling very good. And also our other guest, bugging me out right now.

[Zach Amico]

Bugging me out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's bugging me the out, you know, from the end podcast. Usually he has a mustachio, but he shaved it nice and clean. Shaven. Ryan Shaner back on the show.

[Ryan Shaner]

Ryan Shaver, I just want to let.

[Zach Amico]

You know this is. This is. I have six months to live. Is that actually why I shaved this?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, we like it. I. You, you're a handsome son of a. What's funny is when you're shaving down, you're a handsome son of a. With the, the mustache, but when you shave it down, you got a like an actually goodlook face.

[Zach Amico]

It's the worst part is, like, I hadn't had my face shaved since 2015.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. So over a decade.

[Zach Amico]

Over a dude. I tot I did it. And how I up. I was explaining to you I was trimming my mustache with, like, scissors, and then I was like, oh, there's hair, like, underneath, trying to get it. I was like, hitting my lip and I was like, it. I'll just use my electric razor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I use the thing that flips up. And as soon as I did it, I put it up to my. Dude, I took a chunk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a chunk out of the center.

[Zach Amico]

Out of the center.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like animal from the Legion of Doom.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, it was so up. And I did that thing like, you know where are doing dumb tick tocks where they're waxing their eyebrows?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, of course.

[Zach Amico]

And they're like, oh, no, dude, I screamed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, screamed. You're upset.

[Zach Amico]

Fruit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, how long has it been now?

[Zach Amico]

What, since you shaved? A day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A day. So you're growing it back?

[Zach Amico]

I think so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you. But you're thinking about it.

[Zach Amico]

I'm thinking about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're thinking about maybe people, because everyone's talking about how handsome you are.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I, I.

[Zach Amico]

First off, I think I look like a wish app. GI Joe. I look like a. I don't look great. I look good. I don't look.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you got a handsome face.

[Zach Amico]

I look all right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got a handsome face.

[Zach Amico]

It's just new.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The mustache is more of a style choice. You're still handsome with the mustache, but this is like, you're like, oh, my God. It's a handsome devil underneath.

[Zach Amico]

Also, like, you know, I, I got rid of it and then I was like, man, because for a while I was getting bummed out because a lot of dudes that I knew who had them were like, curling it all the way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that's super. That's gay.

[Zach Amico]

And I was like, that's just like. And a lot of. A lot of have it. And I was like, I don't, I don't, I don't wanna. I don't want to have it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my mustache. I. I'm just a mustache guy now. I started shaving my chin pubes. Just doing the stash. It's still very spicky, but.

[Zach Amico]

But, but it works for you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It does work for me. When I shave my face, I look like a ninja Turtle. So it's not good. Like, that's a good look for you. It's almost like you're ironically making yourself less good looking with the mustache.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, it's almost like he hates women, so that's why he.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But then bitches like that too.

[Zach Amico]

But now this looks like I pay to hate women. That's what, that's what I look like. I look like a professional women.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's very Aryan. Very saluting the white race. Yeah, dude, you look like a proud boy now. Much more so than before.

[Zach Amico]

I definitely order three shirts from Kanye.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, we ordered. We ordered five shirts, Kanye. We did. Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

They're going to sell them together and make one for me.

[Zach Amico]

Are you going to put them in the top of a bathroom and let them rain down on top?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know where I'm going to wear this Kanye shirt. I. I'm going to wear it social media, Walmart.

[Zach Amico]

Just wear it to Walmart.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wear it out to the bank.

[Zach Amico]

Just wear it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, yeah. There won't be any there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's a, it's a real choice to have that Kanye shirt.

[Jim Florentine]

The prop. The only place you'll be safe is that Skank Fest wearing that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe that's where I wear. Maybe I. Maybe. You know what, dude? I do costumes every year. Maybe I'll just get a full fledged, like Hitler uniform for Skank Fest this year.

[Ryan Shaner]

I got a better idea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please.

[Ryan Shaner]

Because you don't. You obviously don't want pictures of you wearing it in the ether.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Where it's a naked roast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, smart.

[Zach Amico]

Very smart.

[Ryan Shaner]

All cameras are banned.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but I mean, it's such a popular shirt now. Aren't people gonna get it? Aren't people gonna get it?

[Zach Amico]

I think people have already got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

People got it. People got not got the shirt. I mean, are they gonna get why I'm wearing it? Like, it's fun. Just a goof. I don't hate. I'm not a Nazi. I don't hate Jews. I'm just saying what a fun shirt to go and buy when he puts it for sale.

[Zach Amico]

How much is it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

20 bones.

[Zach Amico]

20 bucks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretty.

[Zach Amico]

That's very, very damn.

[Ryan Shaner]

Because it was like, designer.

[Zach Amico]

That's affordable.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there anything on the tag, do we know, Shannon? Does it have like a little Kanye logo on the tag? Because it's got. It's got to be a collector's item, right? At the very least, it will be worth more than $20. It's already down. So if you try to buy it on. In fact, look that up, Shannon. If you try to buy it on ebay or. No, you're not going to be able to. You can't sell it anywhere digitally, I bet.

[Zach Amico]

I just wait. I can't wait for the knockoff. Easy shirts. The knockoff.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We can just do that. We can just make our own. Definitely. Shirts. Why am I even wasting. It's not hard to do my effort or energy.

[Zach Amico]

It's just lines.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it's just 20 bucks. Bucks.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Jim, you're. You're from the age group that would draw swastikas on your notebooks on your. Because I'm from that age group and you're. You're.

[Jim Florentine]

We did that around the school. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

But it was to be funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was to be funny.

[Jim Florentine]

That's it.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bathroom stall, swastika fun.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. Teacher's lounge.

[Jim Florentine]

We always. In the bathroom or on the chalkboard, they had the history map covering the board. So we put a swastika in these.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that is fun. So we flipped it up.

[Zach Amico]

That's fun.

[Jim Florentine]

In the middle class. And it would see the swastika.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's beautiful. It's a beautiful time. It's just funny. That used to be The. The. The YouTube comment section was just the bathroom stall. In the. You know, in school or wherever, you just write whatever you want on those walls. Put some horse phone number, you know, for a good time. That's a classic bit.

[Zach Amico]

Did you ever do that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How many phone numbers you put in the bathroom?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've done a few right there.

[Jim Florentine]

How many did you call?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. When I see them, I call them. When cell phones became popular, you would see the numbers and you'd call it up and be like, oh, this isn't a whore asking for a good time.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, yeah, you know, we. We have a great show planned today. I will say, guys, lots to talk about. Shannon, what are we up against today? In 1941, Columbus ate a honey.

[Zach Amico]

1941, Yeezy shirts came out also.

[Shannon]

So close to the year that you've been waiting for, Louis. 1941.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

So the first index injection of penicillin was administered to a patient in. By a British physician.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Shannon]

And cured. Or cured him for a month. And then he died because they ran out of penicillin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What did they cure him of?

[Shannon]

So he scratched his face on a rose bush and it became infected and he started getting abscesses.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A rose bushes? Natural.

[Zach Amico]

Is that what they call him now? It's like, I know these aren't herpes. I scratch my face on a rose bush.

[Shannon]

He started getting life threatening abscesses on his eyes, face, and lungs. So his. His. Once they injected him, his temperature dropped. He was doing great. And then when they ran out of penicillin on March 15, 1941, he died.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, you know, you got an extra month. They figured. They figured something out with that guy. Good for that guy.

[Zach Amico]

Good for him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. What do they use penicillin for now?

[Zach Amico]

Syphilis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do they?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Gonorrhea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, no, I just took some other. For syphilis.

[Jim Florentine]

And it's all in the same family, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. It ends with cylin. It was amoxicillinoxicillin, doxy.

[Zach Amico]

I'm allergic to penicillin.

[Ryan Shaner]

I'm allergic to penicillin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really? How do you know?

[Zach Amico]

When I was a baby, they did the allergy tests.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm allergic to penicillin, aspirin, ibuprofen, Advil, Motrin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So anything that.

[Zach Amico]

Anything. Anything that would take away my pain or venereal disease.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn, dude, that sucks.

[Zach Amico]

It. It really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I just finished. I got a. A text message from somebody saying that I had. That they got an STD for me, which is a random text, which is a fun prank to play on your.

[Zach Amico]

Was it written on a bathroom stall? And then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I. My doctor wasn't gonna be able to see me for two weeks and I was like, this is crazy. So I just got the antibiotics offline and I did it. A full antibiotic cycle.

[Zach Amico]

How did the text go?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was just. It was like, hey.

[Ryan Shaner]

It was a service.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A service that said, hey, you know, someone that, you know you've slept with has tested positive for some disease. I forget what it's called at this point. I for. I talked about it.

[Zach Amico]

It's a service that just texted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's a service that does that? Yeah. It's beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

How does it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's a website where you can sign up so that you can anonymously inform your partners.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which is not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Which is crazy. Yeah. So. But I never felt any symptoms or anything. I just took the.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Doxicillin and then there was another one. It was two of them. It was doxicillin. And then whatever the next one was, man. Yeah, but I feel great now, so.

[Zach Amico]

You'Re never gonna know who.

[Jim Florentine]

But it was a prank, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know if it was a prank. I didn't feel anything. And then the two girls that I had unprotected sex with also didn't have any symptoms or anything, and they're fine, but in my head, I was. It was just gonna sort of drive me crazy, so I just opted to take the antibiotics.

[Zach Amico]

Look at you being a nice guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it is. And I. I. For the first time ever, I called both chicks, and I was like, hey, just so you know, this is what's going on.

[Ryan Shaner]

Like, old Louis, he was jerking off while he did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Old Lewis would have literally just never. Yeah. Never mentioned anything.

[Zach Amico]

Snap your phone in half, it's like, I don't know what happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In the ocean.

[Jim Florentine]

What did they say when you told.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They were both cool? They were both.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it depends. On what? What was it? What was it called again?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you remember, Zach?

[Ryan Shaner]

It was something we never heard of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was Judge something. Genitalium. What was it? Shannon, come on. Come on.

[Shannon]

I'm trying. Trying to find it.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, what did you text Louis?

[Shannon]

I can't remember any of the words.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The genitalium was the second.

[Ryan Shaner]

Genitalium was one of them.

[Zach Amico]

Genitalia was one of genitalia.

[Shannon]

Oh, I found it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yummy. Genitals.

[Shannon]

Mycoplasma.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Mycoplasma. Genitalium. That's what it was.

[Zach Amico]

That sounds like what they make action figures out.

[Ryan Shaner]

I got diagnosed with microgenitalia.

[Zach Amico]

What the is that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I got microplastics in my.

[Zach Amico]

That just sounds fake.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, you know what? I'm feeling good now. Hey, if I. But in my head, I always have, like, some sort of, like, gonorrhea, chlamydia, something. It's just, I. I. If I think about my dick hard enough, I. It'll start to burn. Just. I. I'm talking about it. Yeah, my dick stingling. Wait a minute.

[Zach Amico]

Psycho ball.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can you hold on? Did an angel just get his wings? What is that? Jim, have you ever had an std? You're. You're from a generation of guys.

[Jim Florentine]

No, I never got one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nothing.

[Jim Florentine]

No, but we. When I was living down in Florida at the time, my buddies, they were all in bands, so they were bringing chicks back all the time, of course. So we didn't have any money, so we'd go down to the. The pet store and get fish tetracycline because that's a form of penicillin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Jim Florentine]

So we. They were like 10 pills for, like, 4 bucks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you just take a cycle.

[Jim Florentine]

Just take a cycle. If we fuck some slutty chick, we're like, let's just start popping them now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is. It's. It's so funny. Like, as I'm getting older, I'm less inclined to raw dog and cream pie. A strange slutty chick.

[Zach Amico]

Look at you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Back in the day. I mean, I'm growing, dude. Back in the day, I would. Not only would.

[Jim Florentine]

I just said he had two unprotected sex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I mean, I. Having two girls that are having unprotected sex with. That's not that bad, considering who I am and what I do.

[Ryan Shaner]

He knows their first and last names.

[Jim Florentine]

All right, wait, whoa. And was it the same week?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How far apart was it? How far apart was it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They know about each other. What do you want me to say? And I'm cutting things off with the one. She was going through some. I had to wait to cut her off. I make the phone call, like, hey, you know, and she's like, this is going on right now. She started Going into. Launching into all these problems. She knew I was gonna fucking cut things off.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. May have fucked up your pussy also. Shut off.

[Jim Florentine]

I'm surprised that one of your friends didn't tell you it was a prank at this point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I sent it to you if they. If they did.

[Jim Florentine]

You know, I could picture Big J doing something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I did it to Big J afterwards.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, you did?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

What did he do?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He didn't get it because we didn't put in. They have. I guess they have to text you back at a real number to, like, verify. And we did it with, like, Ari Shafir's. Like, he had some, like, hotline number or whatever. And it just didn't. It never went through to Big J. But we should do it to somebody. It is fun.

[Zach Amico]

That sounds like a fun time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is a fun time. Very scary. What a scary thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But. Yeah, CDs. I. For a long time, I thought herpes didn't even exist until I met you. I was like, it does exist.

[Zach Amico]

And I had to send the weirdest text to Louis J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go, can you be immune to herpes? Because I think I must be.

[Zach Amico]

No, you can't be. Well, see, the whole thing with. With herpes is apparently, like, it's always. If you've had chickenpox like this. The viruses I have had.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chickenpox.

[Zach Amico]

It's always in your system.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not true. I tested negative for herpes.

[Zach Amico]

You have a form of it in. In you.

[Jim Florentine]

It could light for years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For years.

[Jim Florentine]

It should pop up on a task.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. If you get stressed and, you know, stress brings it on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was very. Up until the past, like, six months. I was extremely stressed at all times.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna have a big clown nose on that pee pee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. God damn it. I don't know what I would do. I would.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, the first day, and you have to tell.

[Jim Florentine]

You have to tell somebody if you have it now. Like, it's a. It's a law.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a law. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta. You gotta do the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You go to jail.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they can. They can press charges.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stop it.

[Zach Amico]

But a lot of when I was single, I did the disclaimer right up front.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right up front, right up.

[Zach Amico]

Like, if I was. The whole thing is if we were texting or sexting or sending nudes or whatever, and they're like, yo, we should meet up in front and be like, yo, I'm all about that, but you got it. I don't know if this is what you want to get into. And I just, like, list the whole thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, what's your whole thing? Do you get?

[Zach Amico]

My whole thing is that I. I don't have any symptoms. I've never had an outbreak, but I did test positive for it. And, like, there's no guarantee that you can't not get it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a night that's a genuine nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

A lot of. Dude. It's like one of those things when you hit send, you're like, well, that's the end of that. Like, you really are just like, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What your podcast was named after every girl you talk to. It's the end.

[Jim Florentine]

And when most back out after you.

[Zach Amico]

Told them no, 99% of them were like, oh, no. The weirdest thing is, this is what's so up about it, is that there was a couple that I would text and be like, hey, just want to let you know, I have this going on. And they're like, oh, yeah, me too. I'm like, you weren't going to say anything?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or the girl you weren't going to.

[Zach Amico]

Say a thing is terrifying. And it's like, that, to me, makes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me like, I've had one girl in the history of my sexual escapades. Sexcapades, if you will tell me that she had herpes ever. And it was pretty recently. I was gonna. I was like, oh, we should hang out. This chick. And she was like, hey, so, you know, I, you know, I got herpes like a decade ago. She was like, I haven't had a outbreak in a while and. And I was still very nice. I was like, yeah. I was like, we can still hang out.

[Zach Amico]

You didn't do it.

[Ryan Shaner]

You didn't.

[Zach Amico]

You didn't hang out with her, man, you're a puss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I mean, I. You know what? I probably would have if she was hotter. Am I getting herpes from a. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You can't get it from an ogo. That's a crazy ugly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was. But you know, she wasn't.

[Zach Amico]

She's not herpes hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She wasn't hot enough to like. Because it was almost like, is there a path to making this my wife forever? And then you're like, I don't really care if I was like, married. Who gives a shit? Give each other your STDs, do whatever you got to do. But it's like, it was never going to happen. Beyond. Sure. Banging once.

[Zach Amico]

And you. And you wouldn't use a condom for this chick?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I would have to use a condom if she had herpes. Yeah, of course.

[Zach Amico]

But you wouldn't. You didn't even want to test the water.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nightmare. Do you keep my dick inside of a heart inside of a condom?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

With a down on her.

[Jim Florentine]

You might get it from going down on her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I love eating.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I love it to the butt. Gotta stick to the butthole, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Have you. Have you ever had a girl admit that she has an STD to you before you banged her?

[Jim Florentine]

No, but one girl told me that she got herpes and she thought it was for me. And I freaked out over it. But then she went up telling me she was in college. It was her freshman year, she was banging like 20 dudes. And then she realized. She said, hey, it wasn't you. I blamed it on you for some reason.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For some reason, that's me.

[Zach Amico]

What happened to me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

That's what happened to me. Somebody claimed I gave them herpes. And I was like. And I started trying to, like, go down the rabbit hole of who I'd been with and, like, trying get herpes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

From a rabbit hole, never around, and.

[Zach Amico]

It was such a pain in the ass. And then later and for the longest time, for like, years, I was like, man, I don't know how I got it, but I clearly gave it to this chick. And then a Roommate of mine told me one night. He's like, yeah. When she was crashing on my couch at my buddy's house when he was a roommate with him, he's like. She got drunk and admitted that the whole point was, like, she gave it to me. She was hoping that I would be so distraught that she and I was. You dating well. And I was like, what a fucking maniac.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And this is. You had a mustache at the time.

[Zach Amico]

I did. I did it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very confident.

[Zach Amico]

It was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right now, you'd be like, fine, I'll be with her.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would have settled. I would have had to do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Keto Brains nootropic Creamer for supporting today's show. We love Keto Brains. I really do. I've been. I've been using Keto Brains for a few months now. I actually became a fan of the brand. I. I was recommended by a friend and I started posting about it, and then, you know, that's why they're now on the show. But I genuinely love it. It's really great, dude. It's. They have lion's mane mushroom L theanine. It's. It's made with MCT powder, and it's a coconut creamer. It tastes delicious. You can put in smoothies, you can put it in coffee. I literally take it every single day with my morning coffee. I have a bunch of supplements, and this is one of my new supplements that I. I guess it's a supplement. I don't know if you call it a supplement, but it's actually delicious and it really makes you feel great. It's natural energy. A lot of people drink mushroom coffees and all this other out there. This is a creamer that goes into any coffee, and it genuinely makes me feel absolutely great. Whether you want more energy at the gym or if you just want more mental focus and more clarity, it's genuinely absolutely great. It's Keto Brains. As with a Z, K, E, T, O, B, R, A, I, N, Z. The website is keto brains.com and go and support them. There's no promo code or anything like that. They're just a great company that supports comedy, and they also just have an absolutely great product that is truly delicious. So, yeah, go try out Keto Brains today. There's a million different supplements out there. I'll tell you right now, if you guys are trying to. Whether it's just trying to get mental clarity, a little bit more energy, or if you're trying to kick your body into ketosis. Keto Brains has you covered because it's high fat. It's a great product. I really, genuinely love them. Think faster, focus longer, feel amazing. Try Keto Brains Nootropic Creamer today and experience what optimized brain power really feels like. Just go to ketobrains.com that's keto k e t o b r a I n z.com and check out their awesome product. All right, where were we? Let's see. We have a lot to talk about here. So there's an anti Kanye video that went viral. Shannon's AI.

[Zach Amico]

It's AI.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

I did not know it was AI.

[Shannon]

I'll show it to you. I'm going to show it to you directly from the poster here.

[Zach Amico]

Definitely AI.

[Ryan Shaner]

They make a very specific choice with one of the celebrities they use.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Luigi Manoni.

[Ryan Shaner]

This is gonna be what we.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Huh? These all make sense. Portman's Toy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So this is all this is. I mean, if you're a celebrity, don't you kind of want to be like, don't put me in your anti Kanye commercial.

[Shannon]

Scarlett Johansson did speak out about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What'd she say?

[Shannon]

So she has already had issues of her likeness being used, that she was suing for that chat GPT or open AI thing using her voice. And so she just came out and she was like, as much as racism sucks, it kind of sucks more to have your likeness stolen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Does it really?

[Ryan Shaner]

That's what he said I did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, I mean, like, all right, Jew hate is one thing, but.

[Ryan Shaner]

But they didn't pay me to be in this video.

[Zach Amico]

You gotta save me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a stupid.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, I thought the Woody Allen, you.

[Zach Amico]

Know, very good choice.

[Ryan Shaner]

You know, I feel that was one away from being like Epstein.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Harvey Weinstein.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that was great.

[Jim Florentine]

Scarlett Johansson's nudes got leaked a few years back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was awesome.

[Jim Florentine]

Phenomenal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, I. I took part in the fappening. I mean, I. I went to look. I went into a deep, dark fappening hole. And I. I mean, just.

[Jim Florentine]

I know people getting mad if you looked like you shouldn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy. That's psychotic.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

You couldn't get away from, like, when Jennifer Lawrence's got, let me tell you, wild.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wasn't even attracted to Jennifer Lawrence until her nudes were leaked.

[Zach Amico]

It was wild.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then it was like, okay, same thing with that other. She's kind of got a big forge. You suck at a dude's dick on a boat. I don't give a about this. What's her name Shannon?

[Ryan Shaner]

The girl from Mean Girls, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's sucking it. Pull it up.

[Zach Amico]

There's so many.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amanda.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is sucking a dick on a boat. I would have never jerked off to Amanda Seafried in. At ever in life. She should be thanking these people because now I'm beating my dick to her.

[Zach Amico]

You wait. Did you ever see Lovelace? She's in Lovelace.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Zach Amico]

It's pretty good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah. I mean, she's fine. She's obviously an attractive woman now.

[Zach Amico]

She said she had herpes. You wouldn't. You wouldn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I wouldn't take it.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Amanda pulled the highest photo of Amanda Seafood then find sucking dick on a boat, please. Toy tonight. Amanda C. Free edition.

[Zach Amico]

Telling you right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's go. I'm telling you, she's toy, obviously, but for a celebrity.

[Zach Amico]

Herpes. Is she herpes toy?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a.

[Zach Amico]

This is she herpes toy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We just came up with a new segment on the show. Is she herpes toy? That's a fucking great.

[Zach Amico]

Would you risk. Would you risk it for. Okay. Natalie Portman, Would you risk herpes?

[Jim Florentine]

She openly says be good in bed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she'd be a little lie there. She could be all thin. Natalie Portman now or Natalie Portman the profession.

[Zach Amico]

Well, see, that's. She's definitely got herpes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was a 9, but she was.

[Ryan Shaner]

Natalie Portman in the baby doll dress. Review from Vendetta.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, this is the hottest photo of Mana C. Free that's ever been taken.

[Zach Amico]

Now. You're a liar, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Taking. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

That might be airbrush and it might be. AI.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think I'm taking herpes for this? No way.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, I think she's super hot.

[Zach Amico]

She's incredible looking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's her sucking dick on a boat now. That's an average size.

[Zach Amico]

That's enough to make me say no. That looks like it's not good. That looks like it's just.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, they might have caught her on the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I like. I like.

[Ryan Shaner]

On the upswing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. You got to use. When she uses her hand at the same time. It's solid, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Not well unless she's just holding it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that's crazy. She got a She. I had a. I had a girl spit in her hand while she did it once.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, that's Spitting on it is the best.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, will you little piggy. I don't like when girls make gagging sounds, though. What gals? Stop.

[Jim Florentine]

I've never heard that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've never Heard gagging sounds. You never heard a guy say they don't like it?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't reach mine. Don't reach back.

[Zach Amico]

You have to make the own sounds yourself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my. My girl's just gagging looking at my cocks. When a girl makes a gagging sound, it's just like.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. It's just. It's so unfeminine. Like what she's doing is she's stopping herself from vomiting.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You've never had a woman puke on your dick before?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Ew. I would be so upset you've had that done.

[Jim Florentine]

Why? Because they saw the herpesaurus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look at the one in the race. Live chat. Okay. All right. Pull up Benny and the jets photo from the racist Live chat. This girl's got a non butt. Are you out of your mind, dude? Are you out of your mind? She's cute, obviously, but she's got a little bit of a saggy tit. She's got a non existent ass.

[Ryan Shaner]

You call it a saggy tit? I call that a heavy.

[Zach Amico]

That's just a heavy. That's a heavy title again. Show the pictures.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not getting herpes for her.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, you are, Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Twas not.

[Zach Amico]

I'm guaranteeing if she came up to you at a show and she was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Coffee, please. Shannon, put the sugar free creamer in at this time.

[Zach Amico]

I. I'm. I'm saying you're a fibber, dude. You're a herpes.

[Jim Florentine]

If you saw her walking down the street, you didn't know she's maybe a six.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's not that hot, dude. I mean, she's, she's just. Okay, pull up more photos of her as well. We're going to decide if we would take herpes from Amanda Seyfried. I love this new bit. Toyed enough to take herpes? We got to come up with a better name. We'll figure it out. Not toy enough to take herpes. I don't. I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

Well, who, who, who, who would you consider tight enough to take?

[Jim Florentine]

I go, Scarlett Johansson. I would take it.

[Zach Amico]

Really? I think she's got too much of a bass mouth. I think she's good looking, but her mouth's too big.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm just. Even Scarlett Johansson. I'm just not like, blown away by what about.

[Zach Amico]

I think I would take herpes from Brie Larson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't know. She's another one with a flat ass. You like a flat. She doesn't have a flat ass. You like a flat ass, dude, Fox Old Megan Fox. Like, not today. Megan Fox with her.

[Ryan Shaner]

Jennifer's body.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Her little children. Her little tranny children. No way, dude. I'm not taking herpes from that.

[Ryan Shaner]

Okay, I'll do one inner prime. Jessica Alba.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. Yes. Right now. Jessica Alba. Are you out of your mind? Yes.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If she said, I'm having an outbreak right now, you could just. Me without a condom. I'd be like, let's go. Let's party.

[Zach Amico]

It's actually called Alba. You'll just get out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I got Alba albreak.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, I mean, I know mine and Lou's gonna disagree hard. It's Cat Dennings.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. But I bet you today Cat Dennings is a goddamn mess.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, she's got a new show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Does she? Yeah, she's on a show with Tim Allen Are crazy.

[Ryan Shaner]

She married Andrew.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

None of these are even that, to be honest.

[Jim Florentine]

Sydney Sweeney, maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing. Sydney Sweeney falls into the same demographic as Amanda.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Flat ass, big fat titties.

[Zach Amico]

They kind of almost look alike, but they're still super hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's just. Okay. I think I'm just. I'm. We don't see eye to eye on these things.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's just not my type of chick.

[Zach Amico]

We don't have to see. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm just saying. You would, though, maybe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, Sydney Sweeney, I think would end up being really hot in real life.

[Jim Florentine]

She loves getting naked and on camera.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Straight up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's pretty.

[Jim Florentine]

She's gonna be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's gonna pull up the top 10. Top 10 celebrity. Hottest celebrities right now. I want to see what guys like, because I can't. You notice I just stopped giving a. About celebrities for the most part. I'm just not really. I just don't get into it, so I guess I'd have to.

[Zach Amico]

Well, now we're in a weird time because, like, what we consider hot is, like, the general. Like, everyone's trying to protect themselves of what we consider hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What do you mean?

[Zach Amico]

Like, I'm guaranteeing some of. Some of them say, like. Like, Dank DeMoss is hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know who that is.

[Zach Amico]

She's that fat lady who tried to get into a lift and they denied her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do we have a list of the top 10 hottest female celebrities?

[Shannon]

Yeah, here's number 10.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Alexandra Daddario. I might be taking herpes for. And she's another one with a kind of a flat ass and giant titties, but she's. She's striking. Victoria justice would Definitely take herpes from Victoria Justice. Are you kidding me?

[Jim Florentine]

I don't know who she is, but I would.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's from Victoria.

[Zach Amico]

Salama Hayek. Yep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Today, though, she's an old lady.

[Zach Amico]

No, still today she's an old lady because I see her desperado, Selma. I see her in From Dusk Till Dawn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was it Dustel dawn or she's in? Both.

[Jim Florentine]

She was hotter.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dustel dawn is the one where she does that crazy dance. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She's in a Zamber dance.

[Jim Florentine]

But desperados that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I watched that with my mom and Dustel dawn, and my mom said, and I quote, if I had a dick, it would be hard right now. I was like, you're a classy woman.

[Zach Amico]

Pretty great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's pretty wild. General Wouldn't take herpes from her. Would smash. I'm not gonna be scared off by all the guys that say, if you think General Dirk is hot, you're a pedophile.

[Zach Amico]

Who says that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A lot of dudes. A lot of. There's a lot of weird.

[Ryan Shaner]

She's got a scene in an ex.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

If she can't have. She can have a legal scene. I'm not a pedophile.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hot.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yes, it was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. She was spiteful. Oh, dude, her boyfriend's gonna film her. A black guy. Oh. It made me angry. It hurt me a little bit. And I was jerking off at the same time. That is a strange feeling that you have if you can masturbate and have your feelings hurt at the same time.

[Jim Florentine]

And she's 23.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Lily Collins.

[Zach Amico]

Lily Collins.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know who she is. Emma Watson. This is. This list stinks. Hello. How old is this list? Nobody thinks Emma Watson's hot.

[Shannon]

I put 20. 25. This is from Ranker. But you liked the 10. 9, 8 so far.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, we're getting not as hot. We don't take her.

[Zach Amico]

But obviously there's the other one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's your girl. She is beautiful.

[Jim Florentine]

I take herpes and AIDS from her.

[Zach Amico]

That would be sick.

[Jim Florentine]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Margot Robbie's ridiculous. But I will say, dude, her body does kind of stink. No, no, it does. Go get. But after we go to number one.

[Zach Amico]

No, it does.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After we go to number one, go to Margot Robbie in a bikini. Me and my son were looking at Margot Robbie pictures the other day because. Because we were talking about likes. Because he. Because he thinks Margot Robbie's, like, pretty top tier from, you know, Wolf of Wall Street. But he saw her as Harley Quinn and also in the Barbie movie. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yes, he Went to go see the Barbie movie. I've heard of this.

[Zach Amico]

Who's that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. She's pretty tight, though.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Ryan Shaner]

I don't know, dude. Her in Wolf of Wall street is top tier.

[Zach Amico]

It's out of control. Her body's flawless in Wolf of Wall Street.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but, you know, it is. It's really an angle they GRE up. It's like. It's like Brad pit in Fight Club. You know what I'm saying? It's lighting.

[Zach Amico]

There's going to be smoking mirrors. But whatever, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He got a pump right before he went out there. You know for a fact, like, his body wasn't.

[Ryan Shaner]

Let's not pretend. Like, all four of us would not take herpes from bread.

[Zach Amico]

Fight Club era. Bradford.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look, I. I might. I might kiss his ass. You might have to look, if you have an opportunity to kiss Fight Club.

[Zach Amico]

If you can run your fingers down like a washboard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's real. Yes.

[Zach Amico]

You do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You told me he was. That's like. He was jacked in that movie. But, like, lean and.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a stud.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they were gonna. So that was the whole thing, too. I don't know if American History X came out before or after Fight Club.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's definitely before.

[Zach Amico]

So they were like, when Edward. Oh, that's what it was when Edward Norton was getting jacked for American History X. He's like, I want to look like Tyler Durden. Like, you can't. You can't pull off those hats.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, he was pretty jacked, but Tyler Durden was like. That was just like. Like the ultimate fucking male right there, dude. Brad Pitt, Fight Club. I don't want to be all gay about this, but let's get real. The problem is Brad Pitt's too good looking. He's just. They don't make people that good looking anymore. Like, they still do it with chicks, but, like, there's no. Like, who's the big male celebrity? Is the guy from that. That, that. That cooking show that. He's a chef. He's also the Texas Tornado.

[Zach Amico]

Who.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He plays a Texas.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, Jeremy Allen White.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Bitches like this guy. Look at that fucking ugly, fucking angular face. He's got the face of fucking Dr. Evil. Let's get real.

[Zach Amico]

They're like the anti.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. I watched Austin Powers yesterday. You know, I can only reference things I've seen in the past 24 hours.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, is that doing anything for you?

[Ryan Shaner]

But compared to Brad, Shannon thinks he's too short.

[Shannon]

He's so little.

[Ryan Shaner]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Brad Pitt's kind of little too. I think Brad Pitt's only like 5, 8.

[Shannon]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's twice the size of shit.

[Zach Amico]

You didn't even. You didn't even comment on my face, Shannon, at all.

[Shannon]

Because I was shocked by it when I saw you walked in. So I was trying to process it, but you have an amazing jawline.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you. Okay, now, would you. Would you. Let's just say I'm a celebrity.

[Jim Florentine]

Would you sleep it?

[Zach Amico]

Would you entertain.

[Jim Florentine]

Would you entertain it?

[Ryan Shaner]

Like, take it out for a drink? Watch a movie?

[Shannon]

It's.

[Zach Amico]

You can say no, you can say.

[Shannon]

It'S just been so long since I've had sex that it would be a shame if the first time I had it, I contracted something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's not giving it to anybody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm not giving it.

[Shannon]

Then, sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's. You're fine.

[Shannon]

Brad Pitt's 511.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Brad's 511. He was like five eight.

[Zach Amico]

I thought he was short.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tom Cruise is five'eight I think.

[Zach Amico]

Or five'seven he's about my height.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I know, cuz in Interview the Vampire, they put like lifts in his shoes so he could be as tall as Brad Pitt.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, Brad Pitt looked all weird in that super bowl commercial. No, Tom Cruise.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't even see it.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he's finally like, aging or doing something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

[Jim Florentine]

He's always looked exactly the same.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I thought he sold his soul or something too.

[Zach Amico]

I hope it all hits him like a ton of fun bricks. Yeah, I hope it all just.

[Ryan Shaner]

I noticed that about Rob Lowe recently. Yeah, he's on the new season of the Floor. Yeah, he looks ragged. I've never seen him look bad before.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but Brad Pitt was like so good. Like they. They just. All the guys that come out now aren't. Who? The other guy from the. The video game TV show on hbo. You know, he's the last of us. He's walking around with a little girl.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I know exactly you're talking. Talking about. I don't remember his name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pedro Pascal. Oh, Pedro Pascal. Yeah, people. Yeah, yeah, he's. I mean, compared to Brad Pitt. Yeah. Chiseled ass Brad Pitt. Legends of the Fall. Brad Pitt. Ew. Look at this guy.

[Zach Amico]

We're in a age of ugly, hot for dudes. Yeah, it was perfectly hot for chicks in the 90s going into the 2000s.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was it? Yeah, dude. Girls were always hot. Girls were always toyed as. Dude, what are you talking about?

[Zach Amico]

Ferruzia ball.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but you see, you're going to Zach's Category because I'm in the same category that you're kind of attracted to.

[Ryan Shaner]

You know, you tell me you don't want to her in Waterboy.

[Zach Amico]

You would in the Craft. You'd the out of all four chicks from the Craft for herpes. Without a doubt.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like the black chick in the Craft, to be honest with you. Black chick in the Craft, Rachel True rules. Is that her name?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Rachel True.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And honestly, the man, the redheaded wasn't.

[Zach Amico]

That toy, Robin Tooney.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She stopped knowing their names.

[Zach Amico]

What I'm saying is, if you hadn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stop enjoying witchcraft, you're a man, you.

[Zach Amico]

Watch the Craft because you're like, I hope I could all four of these chicks at the same time. That's like the ultimate.

[Ryan Shaner]

Light as a feather, stiff as a board.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, stiff as a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stiff as goddamn. More. You know I am. All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando Total Body deodorant. Deodorant's no longer just for your armpits. You can put it anywhere. Your balls, your butt sack, your crack, your lower back, your head. Zach. I'm just looking. I just got a lot of stinky parts.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really. They have everything. They have spray deodorant, they have cream deodorant, they have roll on deodorant. Incredible, incredible product products at Mando. And they've been a longtime supporter of the show.

[Ryan Shaner]

So whether you choose the solid stick, the aluminum free spray deodorant, all these are perfect for hard to reach areas. And think about this. 12 hours after a shower, the average man's grundle odor level is a 5 out of 10. With Mando, it's a resounding 0 out of 10.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Ryan Shaner]

And we have a great deal for you guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just go to shopmando.com shopmando.com and you can try out their starter pack. The starter pack is great. It includes the stick deodorant, their cream deodorant, and two products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes, which I love. The wipes wipes make a big difference. I keep them every time I travel. I have the deodorant wipes on me. Rub them. My balls. My balls smell delightful. Just go right now to shopmando.com, use the promo code LAZ and save 40% off your starter pack. All right, where were we?

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah, I mean, my only all time is Rose Mcall, like at her best.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rose McAllen Zach likes a dark fucking.

[Jim Florentine]

Demented bitch in Generation Doom.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. I would go up to Jawbreaker.

[Zach Amico]

Jawbreaker, she was also Marilyn Manson.

[Ryan Shaner]

And Jawbreaker, she's pretty great.

[Zach Amico]

I thought she was really hot in. In Biodome.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Buddy. See? Buddy says I Drew Barrymore today. I did have kind of a thing for Drew. Drew Barrymore back in the day, but it's only because I heard about how up her childhood was. It just kind of like turned me on a little bit. I had a Playboy with her in it that was pretty sick. And then her mom was in another. She'll.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hot, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was pretty hot.

[Zach Amico]

I bet it was fucking tight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretty fucking toy. Yeah. Literally neither one of these is the one that I'm talking about. Shannon, you picked it. The two fucking pieces of fucking shitty Drew Barrymore bread. Let's go to the meat of Drew Barrymore. Like her slutty phases.

[Ryan Shaner]

The butt of the bread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's both shitty end pieces is. Let's get some solid, nice middle of.

[Ryan Shaner]

The bread slice about her in Batman Forever.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, when she was two Faces.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, she wasn't.

[Zach Amico]

No, she was two faces.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Uma Thurman's an ugly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's not great looking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll say it right now. Yeah, pretty toy. Pretty toy.

[Zach Amico]

Hot as.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not herpes toy.

[Zach Amico]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not herpes toy. Look, if it's right in front of you and it's. This is throwing it at you and then she's like, oh, just so you know I have herpes. You're probably gonna slide it in.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but that's where. That's why I'm saying you would. Because the opportunity you're gonna have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where do you consider. So we're having a different thing here. We're talking about women on a screen. We're never gonna get a chance to them. They're not really herpes toy. A woman in front of you. If I'm horny, I mean, it could be a homeless bag lady that weighs 300 pounds. I might just get herpes from her.

[Zach Amico]

I guess if you're gonna put it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We make bad decisions when we're horny.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Evil. Evil.

[Zach Amico]

I get what you're saying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've done it. Shannon, is there any man hot enough for you to take herpes from, like the Rock or Cal Drago?

[Shannon]

Are we assuming that herpes transfer is 100% going to happen?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, they just tell you they have herpes.

[Ryan Shaner]

They tell you spin the wheel, Make a deal, baby.

[Shannon]

Then probably, yes, I would say there's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you landed on bankrupt.

[Shannon]

There's two up there. The, the Rock, obviously, and Ryan Gosling.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ryan Gosling.

[Shannon]

Love him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. Yeah, wow. She loves him.

[Shannon]

I love him.

[Zach Amico]

You cannot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love him. I love it. All right, let's, let's do some plugs. We're just, we're trucking along here, boys. We're 36 minutes into the show. Let's get some plug. I don't know what that was, but it's okay. Let's do some plugs. Ryan Shaner, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Zach Amico]

You can check me out on the end podcast with Ryan Shander. Wherever you get your podcast from and make sure to call the hotline, 833-443-5300. We'll address any comment, question, concern you have live on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's go with Jim Florentine. What are you plugging, my friend?

[Jim Florentine]

Check out my new comedy special, you can't please Them all on Amazon prime podcast. Everybody is awful every Monday.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Love it. Zach Amico.

[Ryan Shaner]

This weekend, Worcester, Massachusetts, Juggle a weekend with Juggler Championship wrestling coming out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come see me live on the road, folks. We got the, the Bring five Friends tour coming to a city near you. First of all, next time I'll be on stage is going to be next week in Los Angeles. February 19th. I'm on Big J's headlining show at 8:00 with the Comedy Store. But then we're doing Story wars live from the Comedy Store. I think tickets are just about sold out. I think there's a handful of like two top tables left. So grab those tickets. They will sell out. Wise guy. Salt Lake City, February 21st and 22nd. Second. I'm gonna be in South Bend, Indiana, March 21st, 22nd. And then I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina on the 23rd. We just added Story wars at the Mothership on March 26th. Wednesday the 26th, we're doing two shows, special guest lineups. I just got a bunch of confirmations now. It's gonna be wild shows. Get those tickets. They're gonna sell out very easily. Then March 27th, be in St. Catharines, Ontario. 28th, London, Ontario. 29th, Windsor, Ontario. 30th, Burlington, Ontario, Philadelphia, the next weekend. And a lot more to bring five friends who are coming to a city near you. The Skank Fest tickets go on sale May 2nd. Guys. Get them because they're gonna go fast. We're breaking records here, guys. The amount of comics that are gonna be on Skankfest this year, unbelievable. A bunch of people that have never been there before. So make sure on May 2, you grab your tickets and come and party with the Legion of Skanks in New Orleans. I'm doing a new special on July 12th that's going to be at side Splitters in Tampa. Bobby Kelly's directing. My production company is sick. So, yeah, guys, come be a part of that. Two different tapings that night. Zach and Meek on those shows as well. Get those tickets because those are going to sell out very, very soon as well. And make sure you guys check out all my other podcasts, Story wars, the Regs, the Legendary Legion of Skanks. And if you guys love me, I do a bonus podcast every Friday, the Lewis Journal Podcast. Guest just for Just me, solo, just for subscribers to my email list. I do a newsletter every week, and I believe. Shannon. Are we gonna have an audio version of that up in the newsletter this week?

[Shannon]

Working on it, most likely, yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, the audio. The. You'll be able to subscribe to a private RSS feed. It'll be in your next newsletter as well. And also, I'm doing giveaways for Scanfist. The only way to get into the Thursday night kickoff party at this point is by winning VIP passes. And the only way to win those VIP passes, I'm telling you, right. I'm not doing it anywhere else. The only way to win those Thursday night tickets for the. And tickets for the entire weekend is by subscribing to my mailing [e-mail] I'm picking one winner every single month. In fact, we'll pick that winner on Monday, Shannon. We'll. We'll give them away. We'll announce it on this show, and we'll email you as well. So go to louisofscanx.com subscribe to my mailing list. And yeah, I got a couple. I got a couple specials on YouTube. I got all that stuff. So come support me. Come support everyone on the show and subscribe to Gas Digital, the new guest digital. Let's see, Shannon. Time out. Justin Hilliard for the remainder of the show. Every time I've looked down, he's been saying something shitty. He's gotta go. He's gotta go. Sorry, Justin. Enjoy not chatting during the remainder of the show. You sucking? How about that little.

[Zach Amico]

What did he do?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. Every time I look down, it's like, oh, Faluz is insufferable. No, too long for plugs, Louis. Well, sit down and don't. Don't chat. How about that? You. Justin Hilliard. What a. Cancel his Membership. Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Does he have a mother? Kill his mom.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Doc's his mother. No, just time him out. He can come back for the last 10 minutes of the show. Shannon. So time out for like, 25 minutes. How about that?

[Zach Amico]

Bummer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dick Bick. Nickler says you're a pussy. Lewis, Time him out to Shannon J. Fucks. Dawkins says get fucked was. Time him out as well. Shannon. You guys think. You think I won't keep going? I'll tell him the whole goddamn chat. You think I won't keep going, you fucking cocksuckers.

[Zach Amico]

The Puerto Rican preschool master. Just putting everyone in timeout.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How is Amy Winehouse? Baby daddy still in the chat. And these guys got timed out. That's how bad they are.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ooh, ooh. Time them the out, Shannon. Okay, what happened with Pete Davidson's tattoos? Got them removed. I think tattoo removal's gotten a lot easier now, right?

[Zach Amico]

Pete Davidson got his tattoos removed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone a bunch.

[Ryan Shaner]

All of them?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, all of them.

[Jim Florentine]

That's. Yeah, he's in some new photo shoot. He got them all removed.

[Shannon]

Yeah. I have some pictures here as part of an ad campaign. Here's one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you got them all removed. I don't like this photo shoot. That's the gayest photo shoot I've ever seen.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna show you a video and you're gonna hate it. Oh, no, let me just find it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't want to see it.

[Shannon]

So here it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So.

[Shannon]

It's part of this, like, clothing brand, and for, like, Valentine's Day, they're saying he's, like, the official boyfriend of the store.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Reformation is the.

[Shannon]

Is the brand of the brand. Yeah. Here you go.

[Zach Amico]

The official boyfriend. Hey, you may know me from stuff.

[Ryan Shaner]

For the past few years. Years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The one thing that's given me a.

[Jim Florentine]

Space to collect myself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, Pete. Hey, Millie.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's gluten free.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Has been coming in here a couple times a week and being the perfect boyfriend. Wow. You look amazing.

[Zach Amico]

You should definitely get that. Yes, I'm someone's boyfriend, and I take that seriously. It's important to show emotional support.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wrote a letter about my feelings. Why are women attracted to Pete Davidson? It makes no sense to me. I mean, he's funny and rich and has a big. But besides all those things, he kind of has an alien head, does he not?

[Zach Amico]

A little. He's got buggy eyes. Yeah, he's got crazy, crazy boyfriend eyes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So. Yeah. So he's got all of his tattoos removed.

[Shannon]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure it's finished. His whole process.

[Ryan Shaner]

And I know it is better to do those now, but it's still a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's a lot of.

[Zach Amico]

That's nuts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's. It's very painful to get your tattoos removed.

[Jim Florentine]

I wonder if he kept the one of Hillary on his cap half.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he had a Hillary tattoo.

[Zach Amico]

A damn. You removed the Mars attacks alien.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Would I get my tattoos removed? I guess not. I kind of like my tattoos.

[Zach Amico]

They look all right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have to add more.

[Zach Amico]

How. How many are you gonna get?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, my problem is I recently looked in the mirror and I realized that I'm. I'm just a. I'm a mirror for that.

[Jim Florentine]

Zach, you gotta go in timeout now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, you son of a. Time him out, Shannon. No, but I. All my tattoos are symmetrical. Like, I realized that I have them in the same places all over my body.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it kind of drives me out of my mind.

[Zach Amico]

It's like reverse ocd.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't like it. I don't like that. Because it wasn't on purpose. I wasn't like, oh, let me just make sure I get them. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. I actually don't have there or there. I have one on my chest here. I guess they're not all symmetrical. You could almost. It's some. I gotta just. I gotta make him not match on both sides. It's like if a 7 year old creates a character in the UFC game, it's where you would place the tattoos.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, accurate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you have tattoos?

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't have any.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

None. You look like you'd have a bunch of times.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone says that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I did want, like, when I was growing up, I did want, like, a lot. I love tattoo. I think tattoos are awesome.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like. Why don't you ever get a tattoo?

[Zach Amico]

It's because of what I was doing. I was, like, constantly changing my mind about what I wanted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And now it's like, I don't give a. About enough anything to get it tattooed on me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but I don't give a. That's better. I mean, I guess it's just making yourself look cooler and more badass.

[Jim Florentine]

He's already marked by herpes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you have any tattoos, Jim?

[Jim Florentine]

No tattoos.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

None. Neither guest has tattoos. Look how cool we are.

[Zach Amico]

You guys are cool.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, tattoos are badass.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I. I just. I just stopped. Stopped caring. I stopped caring.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, I know. I mean, most of my tattoos have meaning, but they're not. Like, it's not like, oh, I have to say this.

[Zach Amico]

What's that one mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is. I got this when I was promoting for comedy clubs. It's the king of clubs.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe don't get any more tattoos.

[Jim Florentine]

What about the numbers?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me and Big J have the same tattoo. We did trivia on each other, and then every time we got a question wrong, we had another one etched into our wrist.

[Jim Florentine]

Oh, okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was on the podcast.

[Zach Amico]

I was gonna say. Is that how many times you've been texted recently?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on, doggy. Come on, doggy. Yeah. No, most of my. Most Every one of my tattoos I've meeting. Some of them have to do with my son. A lot of them have to do with my son, but I think they're just cool. Like, Zach is just silly goose tattoos.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, real meaning for you? Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

This is my buddy that passed away.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Ryan Shaner]

That was his wrestling mask.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wasn't this your buddy that passed away too?

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ryan Shaner]

Well, I got that before he passed. We got each other on our arms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, nice. Wow, Zach, you don't have a tattoo of me on your arm.

[Ryan Shaner]

I would get you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That made me feel good.

[Ryan Shaner]

I would definitely get you.

[Zach Amico]

I would.

[Jim Florentine]

If Lewis passed away, would you get a tattoo of him?

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, 100%. But there's no way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He couldn't afford it if I pass away.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's a very good point.

[Jim Florentine]

You better get a now in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Seriously.

[Ryan Shaner]

No, I would get it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would get a Zach amigo tattoo. That'd be sick. Dude. Let's do it. A skank fest this year. Yeah, sure. Let's get each other tattooed in each other this year.

[Zach Amico]

I think you guys should get preemptive memorial tattoos for one another.

[Ryan Shaner]

Oh, just. Just the year that.

[Zach Amico]

A dash for when. You are gonna love that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is great.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's the best way to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretty sick. So let's see. There's a teacher from Brisbane. Is that in Australia?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who identifies as a cat. Can we see this?

[Shannon]

Yeah. So I just. I have pictures. I could not find a video of it, so I don't think they ever posted it. But here's the picture. They blur his face out.

[Zach Amico]

Out.

[Shannon]

Or her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What? So.

[Shannon]

So this person makes the kids call this person Ms. Purr. And it says that they lick. Lick the backs of their hands in class. They hiss at the students when they don't do the right thing. And then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why are you saying they?

[Shannon]

Yeah, because I don't. I don't know if this. I don't know if this is a guy or A girl or what? So I'm not. I don't know if it's a guy or a girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But why is this person not being shamed for doing this?

[Shannon]

I don't know why they're not showing the face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Small Batch Cigar for being a longtime supporter of the show. Small Batch Cigar is an incredible online tobacconist. So if you guys are trying to get cigars and getting them online, go to smallbatch cigar.com they have every brand that you love. They have new brands that you probably haven't heard of. You guys probably been seeing me smoking cigars recently. It's because Small Batch Cigar is my new favorite website to visit.

[Ryan Shaner]

They have free shipping on every order, and almost every order arrives within two to three days within the continental United States. They come with the Boveda pack so that everything you get is super fresh. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All you got to do is go to smallbatchcigar.com, use the promo code GAS10. When you check out. You're gonna get 10 plus those 5% rewards points. Not a better deal on the Internet. Smallbatch cigar.com has you covered. Small batch cigar.com promo code GAS10. All right, where were we? Shannon, I bet you did a moment of research. You could figure out who this is.

[Shannon]

I spent an hour. Jorge and I both looked up to try to find information.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So why would you even bring this story to the show, Shannon? I thought I was going to get a video of a cat hissing and purring.

[Shannon]

I mean, that you. Can you get it? You know what it looks like when a person hisses and prayers? It's more the purpose of it being, like a teacher in a school doing this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Teachers are.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's. That's a level beyond.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That's crazy. That's just a crazy thing to do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. There's got to be some sort of happy medium of, like, teachers. Because when I was a kid, the teachers didn't give a. At all. They were smoking cigarettes. They were like, if you were a problem in the classroom, they kicked you out. Now it's like the teachers are, like, over the top. They're all trans. They're all trying to tell kids that their feelings are valid. We should find something right in the middle.

[Zach Amico]

Teach math and just teach math.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shut up.

[Zach Amico]

Up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's it.

[Zach Amico]

The happy medium is just doing what you're supposed to do and then be like, I hope you guys learned something. Get the on. Yeah, that's a happy meeting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Were you good in school, Shannon?

[Zach Amico]

Was I good?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, terrible.

[Zach Amico]

I was. I wasn't. I. High school sucked because I was like, I'm. I'm retarded. So I didn't. And I was always getting into trouble, and I. I was almost expelled, like, four times, really, for being an.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What. What. What did you get in trouble for?

[Zach Amico]

The ones that I ran for school president when I was. Was in my senior year.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just to, like, ironically, that's something that I would do.

[Zach Amico]

My friend nominated me. Like, I didn't know I was nominated. My friend nominated me and I was like, oh, well, I'll do it. I, like, accepted the nomination. And I made my other buddy John be my running mate. He didn't know. And then we got in trouble for mudslinging with our campaign posters because I was making fun of people's last names for being too foreign. I was. I was like. Because this one guy, Josh Kajoula, I've known him since I was in, like, fucking in kindergarten. And I was like, what kind of name is Kajoula? I can't even pronounce that for a name you can say about Shane or McLean. And I was like. And then the two other.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then you were. That was a poster.

[Zach Amico]

That was a poster.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the. Is his name?

[Zach Amico]

I was like, for a name you can say vote us. And then the other one I got in trouble for was because there were two chicks running, and I was like, Liz Reaga. And like, I think her name was Kate. I can't remember. I was like, they're women enough. Said Shader McLean. They were like, you can't do that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That rules.

[Zach Amico]

And, yeah, we got in trouble for. And then I got in trouble because someone was doing. Doing in the morning, they would have, like, people talking in the hallway about, like, their campaign.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I took a. Like an office chair out. I was mooting. People in the background of their thing, they're like, you can't. I was just an. I was an. In high school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jim, what was high school like in the 60s for you? No free love, a lot of acid.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No black.

[Ryan Shaner]

Suspended for using the colored water.

[Jim Florentine]

I did. I. There was two of them. I would just always use the black one. But no sixth grade. I got kicked out of Catholic school. I cut these wrestling mats up. They went on the morning. They were bragging about how much they cost and take care of them and, you know, so that. That day, me and my friend cut them up with razor blades.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then you got. You got kicked out of school together?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, they didn't know it was me. It was someone in our class because we had that last class that day. But they knew it was either me or me and two other guys. So we were just, for the next, like, two months, in the principal's office.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every day, they're trying to break you.

[Jim Florentine]

Break me? And I wouldn't break they. I had to swear in a Bible. I'm like, I don't you just swear in a Bible? Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like. Yeah, come on. I swear in the Bible. Come on, folks.

[Zach Amico]

Look at that.

[Jim Florentine]

And then they said, don't come back in the seventh grade.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. And then you just went to regular school?

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, regular school. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I always wanted to go to Catholic school. I thought the uniforms were cool.

[Zach Amico]

Why?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. I just thought they were cool. I thought it'd be cool to wear a uniform. I didn't dress nice when I was in middle school or high school.

[Zach Amico]

Oh. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it was like, if I didn't have to put any thought into it, it would have been dope. Plus, the. The girls wore the little Catholic school uniforms, I guess.

[Zach Amico]

That's odd.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it was toy pretty good back in the day. I take herpes from Catholic schoolgirl hell. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, we had a bunch of chicks because that was like. I was in high school in my ninth grade. I was 99.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was.

[Zach Amico]

I was in ninth grade. So that was when, like, Britney Spears was, like, still.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So chicks were dressing as Catholic schoolgirls in my public.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to go from. In the 11th and 12th grade every day, I would say after school and watch the junior varsity tennis matches because they just wore these little skirts, and they were running around, and their skirts would pop up and they'd have panties. Like, literally, me and my friends would just sit on the. Like, this is incredible.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we had a problem with women's field hockey for that shit too. Yeah, they stopped guys from going to the practice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Practices were fucking great. I even learned it because my girlfriend at the time was on the junior varsity tennis team. So I was like, this rules. I have an excuse to go. And, yeah, I was a real pervert back in the day.

[Jim Florentine]

My friend was a gym teacher at a high school, and he ordered all their shorts to be really big. The women's shorts, they make them do exercise on the floor so you could see.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, that's. Yeah, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's illegal. That's nice.

[Jim Florentine]

He was in my wedding party.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That guy's a. That guy's a criminal. That's pretty sick. That guy fucking rules.

[Zach Amico]

Make a big shorts.

[Ryan Shaner]

I was in the musicals in high school and we did find anything happen on the way to the Forum. And there's a scene where the main character, all the girls from the different whorehouses dance for him to find a wife. And I'm sitting there. My best friend Lenny's in the scene with me. And Lenny, I've got my hands on his. Excuse me, I'm sitting. He's got his hands on my shoulders. And this girl comes out and she had a leopard leotard on. It was a dress rehearsal and she. I don't think she had panties on under it. And in her dance, she touched her toes. So she'll be sitting. She would touch one toe and touch the other. And she puts her leg out and touches her toe and her entire left side of her falls out. And then she touches the right side and the entire others. Both lips completely out. And we're holding each other trying not to laugh at this girl's giant parachute vagina, man. We get off stage and we go to laugh at the janitor. My dad's friend Tommy. Like a fat angel of death just appears between us and goes. You guys see the size of that girl's cunt?

[Zach Amico]

Dude, you know that janitor got in his car and put on slow ride and just parked up a marble.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was the fucking 90s. You could do whatever you want in the 90s. Do we. When I was in musical theater, the, like, they would. It was pretty crazy. Like we would go between scenes and there'd be like costume changes and these thought it was like real theater. They would like just get naked. Their tits would come out and they'd be like, whatever. Who cares? This is just the theater family. I'm literally being like, this is so hot. Holy. I was like a real pervert. If you look up, I don't know if you can find it. Shannon. But like, I used to my picture every year that I would take because they would do like, like a professional photographer and you. You can come in and buy like pictures from the productions. So I would always do a picture with like four or five girls, like surrounding me. And that was my thing. Girl's name, Genevieve Gearhart, who was so. She was. She was a woman amongst girls. I'll tell you this much. She was so hot when we were in high school. Yeah, this I'm touching. I'm grabbing her Face. And my. And I'm touching my dick. This is her dad had to buy this photo. And then the girl on the. The girl to the left of me with the long brown hair. I used to tutor her in math and make out with her. I didn't know math. I was just like. I was making things up. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just going over her house all the time.

[Ryan Shaner]

The girl on the other side of him, he tutored in double Dutch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm talking about. They're on the same side. Yeah. And then I couldn't. I. Look how nice it was. I couldn't not let the black girl be in the photo. I was like, fine. You can come to look at you being progressive. Yeah, dude. But I was. This was. I did that. I recreated this photo three years in a row in musical theater. And their parents just had to be like, what the. Why is this kid touching my daughter's face like this? Isn't that wild?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, that's. That's not. That's not as creepy. If you were doing. With the back of your hand. That would be creepy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you. This. I'm holding her face.

[Ryan Shaner]

Looks like he's taking his dick out and I mean, is about to turn her head around and face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, I look like I'm 40 years old.

[Ryan Shaner]

You look like you took that picture two weeks ago. You look like you shaved your mustache for the photo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah, boy.

[Jim Florentine]

Wow.

[Ryan Shaner]

And it's not only that you look older. Some of them look so young.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Another one. Well, they're all. They're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is. I'm. Am I in the 10th grade here? So they're all in. All these girls are in the ninth grade and I'm in the 10th grade.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. The one in that. That pink one isn't even on her knees. She's standing up. That's how.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. That's Holly Stobo. Shout out to Holly Stobo. Yeah, she looks. She had big cans.

[Zach Amico]

She looks like she's eight years old.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big cans for a child. Her parents owned a mortuary.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. She was like a weird grief tits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, like a mortuary but a funeral home. Where is there a mortuary? In every funeral home?

[Zach Amico]

There's. Yeah, it's one of the same. Is it one of the same?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure. Yeah. But that's what her. Her family owned a funeral home.

[Zach Amico]

Hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I know, it's pretty fun. But she wasn't like a gothy, like.

[Zach Amico]

No, she was trying to keep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was a normal. Like a soccer Playing. It was like. Like, we know deep inside you've seen dead bodies. It's got to be wild.

[Zach Amico]

It's got to be hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So what happened? Luigi Mangione, the guy Who Shot the UnitedHealthcare CEO, has been given over $300,000 from fans for his defense. Women are fucking retarded, dude.

[Ryan Shaner]

It's not just. It checks. They said he's getting awesome treatment in prison. They said that he got applauded when he walked in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Ryan Shaner]

He got.

[Zach Amico]

They spit on their fingers first and everything?

[Ryan Shaner]

No, they said that he got a free haircut for his trot. For his first appearance. That they threaded his eyebrow, like.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Ryan Shaner]

That they gave him, like, a full makeover so that he would look really good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They liked him. He said.

[Ryan Shaner]

They said everybody.

[Jim Florentine]

Same prison as P. Diddy, though, right?

[Ryan Shaner]

Is he.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that.

[Ryan Shaner]

Everyone there is super nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I bet Diddy's getting. Yeah, he's rock star treatment as well.

[Zach Amico]

He's probably not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What did he really even do? I saw him kind of a little bit. Like, what. What was. What were the charges against Diddy? I. We just. We all kind of made fun of it, and we were like. But then I realized I'd never even really never sunk in what he did.

[Shannon]

He's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's.

[Shannon]

Will soon be on trial for sex trafficking and racketeering charges.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like those aren't bad crimes.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, it was like taking women over state lines. Which is who?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time I bring a back to New Jersey, I see a trafficker, you know, when I Uber to my place in Jersey. Is that sex trafficking? Am I sex trafficking? Trafficking? I can't say it. Am I sex trafficking, Shannon, by Ubering a from New York to New Jersey? Just have sex with her.

[Shannon]

No.

[Zach Amico]

What is. What does it constitute? What is sex trafficking?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You have to sell them as prostitutes.

[Shannon]

Okay, so sex trafficking is a federal crime. A federal crime that involves using force, fraud, or coercion to compel someone to perform sexual acts.

[Zach Amico]

That's exactly what Lewis is doing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sex trafficking and coercion.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, Louis, Like, I just want you to see my pool.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Seriously. Seriously.

[Zach Amico]

This is definitely coercion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, I think coercion's the only way you get laid as, like.

[Zach Amico]

A dude is coercion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you. You're gonna fucking just. Girls just gonna fuck you. You have to coerce her. There's no. She just doesn't spread her legs.

[Jim Florentine]

I got a spare bedroom. Don't worry. We don't have to sleep in the same bed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I don't do that. But I'm like, let's go have a meal. We'll fucking go. And that. Coercion. Am I buying her a nice meal? Going to. There's a great little Greek spot near my house. Ooh, so good, man. I'll go there tonight. Yeah. I coerce. I'm not ashamed to say it.

[Zach Amico]

He's a coercer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every girl that I've ever had sex with, I've coerced into having sex with me.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I guess you have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So define coercion, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Looking up the. The legal version of it, it. Let's see what this is. AI's answer. Coercion is the act of forcing someone to do something they wouldn't otherwise do, often through threats. Coercion can be physical or psychological, but it's. Yeah, threatening them. You're just manipulating them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, manipulation. We're all manipulating each other.

[Jim Florentine]

You can't tell her, hey, I want to come. Come back to my house. So we could. You can't say it. Even if she says, I know. You just want to have sex or be like, no, no, I want to hang out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want to watch Soul. Duh.

[Zach Amico]

Obviously, it's no coercion here, just hanging out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But this is what it is in life. You're. You're manipulating. You're being manipulated. So are you going to be the manipulated? I don't think so. No.

[Zach Amico]

You got to manipulate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, that's it.

[Zach Amico]

You got to manipulate before they manipulate you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Goddamn right. All right, well, good for Luigi Mangione. I mean, I guess I don't really care. I did sort of. I mean, I do. I try to take a co. Contrarian position on most things, but I don't think it was a contrarian position. I was like, no, you shouldn't murder anybody. Even if you think it's like an evil fucking CEO, you shouldn't kill them. That was a controversial take for a lot of people.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Which is pretty crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I just think. I just think it's lame you shot him. He should have done something way cooler.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bare hands.

[Zach Amico]

Axe would have been fucking amazing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Axe Flamethrower. Sick, that is. Grenade would have been awesome.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He just looks down.

[Zach Amico]

That old shogun thing where they throw the hat and it goes over someone's head and they pull it off and decapitate somebody would have been sick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

These are fun ways.

[Zach Amico]

These are things that would have been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Awesome, but you have to really want to murder somebody in order to tie.

[Ryan Shaner]

Them to four horses and support different directions.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah, that is fun.

[Zach Amico]

That Would have been fun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No. Yeah. If you're gonna murder somebody, a gun is the easiest way to do it. You can just.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but anybody, Anybody can pull. Anybody can shoot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Could you though?

[Zach Amico]

If I. If I. If I was Luigi Mangione who was just walking up and shooting someone in the back?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you could. That's easy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sh me in my eyes.

[Zach Amico]

If he made him look at him, that would have been a different thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's see. I'm a model. Any man who wants to marry me should pay me a husband tax to maintain my hot body. You don't have to say that. This, whatever it is she is. I'm assuming this is a New York Post story, Shannon, Right?

[Shannon]

Yes, of course.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's. It's. This is. And this is an only fans as well. This is. This. It's all manipulation. Right? The. The. You buy an ad in the Post to get people to talk about you and then everyone goes to your only fans and subscribes. That's all this story is. So we shouldn't play those stories, Shannon, because I'm not. I'm not.

[Zach Amico]

Chick herpes hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, let's see.

[Ryan Shaner]

I guess it's a great question.

[Zach Amico]

Is she herpes hot?

[Shannon]

I'll show you. I'll show you the, the images here. Then I have her Instagram. But we have actually seen her before. So here's one. We have seen her before. She's the one that supposedly has like the perfect body.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, she's pretty toy husband tax though.

[Shannon]

So she's saying that like it costs a lot of money to like upkeep her body, like procedures gym hair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you don't have to say this like I. I paid for my ex girlfriend's gym membership and all of her dumb that she had and yeah, this is pretty hot.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pretty toy.

[Jim Florentine]

I get it.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, pretty goddamn tight. But yeah, if you're. She's only gonna be with a guy. This goes without being said. This is why it's a non story because it goes without being said. She's hot enough that she's only going to be with a guy that obviously takes care of her. So you don't have to even say that. It's not called a husband tax. It's just called being a husband. That's what husbands do for the most part.

[Jim Florentine]

Yeah, he's gonna pay for implants, everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. If you want to be with a hot bitch, that's gonna be your life. But she's got an Only fan. So she's probably. She's probably crushing, making mad money.

[Zach Amico]

There's no way she's not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. What's her only fan? Shannon. Can we see her naked? I want to steal from her.

[Shannon]

She doesn't have a link tree on her Instagram.

[Zach Amico]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy. She's just a hot chick.

[Shannon]

Just a hot chick?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What is her thing? Do you have an Instagram? How many followers does she have on Instagram?

[Shannon]

1.3 million. Oh, hold on, hold on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pull her up.

[Shannon]

Wait one second. I found. I found something. So it's going there. There's a private page that's going to. It's not exactly only fans, but it's similar. So she does have dick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Chandler says that's all going away in five to ten years. Yeah, but you get a good decade of piping that down. And then she has your children. And once she has your children, then you love her for a different reason.

[Zach Amico]

You can only hope. Hope. She might be totally annoying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She might turn into a psycho.

[Shannon]

Yeah, yeah, but she's Brazilian. Also.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can we see her Instagram, please?

[Shannon]

Her Instagram? Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's see it. And did you find her only fans or. No?

[Shannon]

So it's, it's this privacy dot com.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, so she has her own. It's like that. Only $5 a month. 25amonth. Is she naked? Shannon, Find her naked on the Internet for free. Forget all this. We're not paying for it. It's crazy.

[Jim Florentine]

That's a lot. 25amonth.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's just pennies a day, J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Honestly, it's less than a cup of coffee. Less than a cup of coffee, Jim. Prioritizing a couple. Let's see. Oh yeah. See, I don't. This why I don't. I don't love.

[Zach Amico]

She's got cross eyed titties.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't love fake tits. Just in general.

[Jim Florentine]

Those are too hard. Hard too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, those are big bulbs.

[Ryan Shaner]

Pool balls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, it's not good.

[Zach Amico]

I mean those are all right, look.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She'S hot, but honestly, dude, it's those fake tits ruin her. I bet you she had better real small tits.

[Zach Amico]

She probably did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

That's like any stripper in any strip club.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jim Florentine]

Looked like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Shannon, where are we at with your Shannon's cannons Go fund, man?

[Shannon]

Let me see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I said once we get to $5,000, I'm donating a grand.

[Shannon]

$840.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We are going up every day. Yes, we are going up every single day, Shannon. But this time next year you're gonna have new tits.

[Shannon]

It's exciting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is said we created a GoFundMe for Shannon's tits because she has 22 roll tits that have to be replaced. Otherwise they're gonna consider. They're gonna continue to calcify inside of her body, eventually kill her.

[Zach Amico]

That's no good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. But are you wearing a low cut top now?

[Shannon]

No, we didn't really decide on that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, we need to. You. No, no, you're okay. You want to. You want to give people a little bit of a show, right? And I think people will start donating more money right now if they get a little more sexually turned on by you. We have a lot of SIMP fans, Shannon.

[Shannon]

All right, next week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Next week. The whole week.

[Zach Amico]

I want to see sound more excited about it, please.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I want to see your tits, Shannon.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, next week I guess I'll do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we're going to get there. We're going to get there. And once again, once we hit 5,000, I'll donate $1,000 that day. I swear to God.

[Ryan Shaner]

I will wear a very low cut top with the girls prominently displayed. But then put like a barcode or one of those like Q codes.

[Zach Amico]

QR codes.

[Ryan Shaner]

QR codes. Yeah, right above it so that when people download the picture of you, they feel compelled to donate.

[Zach Amico]

That's fine, Zach. That's a million dollar idea.

[Shannon]

I like that.

[Ryan Shaner]

Get a temporary tattoo of the QR code for the gofundme and put it between your text.

[Zach Amico]

You know what also would be a sick if a chick shaved her pussy hair into a thing of a QR QR code and just like had pictures of her on the Internet. And you like, you take that.

[Ryan Shaner]

That's a great stripper move to get a QR code on your ass.

[Zach Amico]

Straight up, dude.

[Ryan Shaner]

Make it easy for your Venmo.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that would be amazing.

[Ryan Shaner]

I would give her money just for the ingenuity.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wonder if you could actually tattoo a QR code.

[Zach Amico]

You can.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you sure?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I've seen people do it, but it actually scans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Whether or not it works, I don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. Like I saw the. I. I knew somebody with a tattoo of a barcode on.

[Zach Amico]

The barcodes are different. Different. The QR code. I've seen people with tattooed.

[Ryan Shaner]

Yeah. I've seen links to YouTube, like if they love a song.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon. But how those QR codes and even a barcode is very intricate in terms of like the exact precise line work. Really, really good tattoo artist.

[Zach Amico]

Very non shaky.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon can You. Does it work, though?

[Shannon]

Yes. Yeah. When I looked this up, I said, the ones that. Ones that work. And it says, yes. They'll work the same.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They work the same. Yes. You can get a QR code tattoo that works, but requires careful design and execution by a skilled tattoo artist to ensure the code is precise enough for scanners to read it accurately. Yeah, dude. If it starts fading a little bit, it just doesn't work anymore. That is fun. I would get a QR code tattooed right. Shannon, this is. This is. We got to figure out a way to get more people to donate to your GoFundMe. Okay, okay. Maybe if you. Maybe if you picked one winner to suck and. Or one donation guy.

[Shannon]

Nope.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just suck and one guy. Shannon.

[Shannon]

Nope.

[Jim Florentine]

Or one winner gets to see him when they're done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What about that, Shannon? One winner gets to see them in real life. Not touch you, but you have to actually show your.

[Zach Amico]

You're behind bulletproof glass and everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go to a deli in Harlem. No.

[Zach Amico]

No one's gonna get to him.

[Ryan Shaner]

What about tiered rewards? Like, when you hit 2000, she's gonna cry. You'll post a video of you doing jumping jacks with no bra for, like 10,000 seconds.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But not with your tits out. Just with, like, a fun shirt.

[Shannon]

I don't love it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, you need to listen. If you want people to pay for your body, you have to be a little sluttier. I'm being honest about this. I'm not. This is real anger.

[Shannon]

This is all your idea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's not.

[Shannon]

No, thanks.

[Zach Amico]

Coercion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want your new tits, and I'm trying to get you your new tits. But every time we give you an option to do something.

[Ryan Shaner]

Fighting us tooth and nail here, lady.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I. I don't like it. I don't think that's good. I don't want to do that. Well, how do you expect free tits? I'm going to give $1,000.

[Zach Amico]

He does have a point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I say when you get to 2500, you do the show in a bikini top.

[Shannon]

Not going to do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When we get to 5,000, I'm donating another thousand. But you do another thing for the next. And then. Yes. And then you pick one donator who's over a donation. Over, like, like 250 bucks or 300 bucks. Right? You pick one guy who actually gets to see your tits in real life. We come in the office at his expense.

[Jim Florentine]

You just flash them real quick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just flash him.

[Shannon]

Maybe if I. If. If I can see what they look.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, Shannon, you're a. No.

[Ryan Shaner]

You're the one against the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. It's gonna be a random person.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon wasn't one ug.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy, Shannon. What a psycho you are. You just an ugly who's gonna donate money. Ugly men are donating. Donating? Yeah, he's gonna be a hot guy.

[Jim Florentine]

Every guy's gonna be a creep. Yeah, that's donating.

[Shannon]

There's gonna be a least creep of all of the donators.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Deplorable, says Lewis. A G is cheap. A G is not cheap. I'm giving a thousand dollars towards hits. I'm never gonna suck. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

That is. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jenna. Yeah. If you. I'll tell you right now, if you said you're gonna put every guy who donates 300 or more into a. And every 300 you donate, you get another. Another raffle. We would get there in two weeks.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon again, he is right, Shannon.

[Jim Florentine]

You should do for your health, because you have to get those old ones out.

[Zach Amico]

Seriously, think of your children.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Think of your future poison into your body.

[Ryan Shaner]

Hear me out on this one, Shannon. You get a bbl, but with fat from my body. So I get to get liposuction. And then you can put my fat in your ass until sense.

[Shannon]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

Think about it. Assamo.

[Shannon]

I don't hate it.

[Zach Amico]

That's pretty good.

[Ryan Shaner]

Anytime somebody squeezes Shannon's ass, I'm like, you get phantom.

[Zach Amico]

That be sick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Squawkman says, what are. What are we? We? 14 years old. Who gives a about this? Yeah, a lot of people care, guys. A lot of people.

[Jim Florentine]

And yes, we are 14.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And we're pretty immature. You're watching the Lewis and Zach show.

[Zach Amico]

We just did herpes hot not that long ago. What the are you talking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Talking about, dude? What do you think you're watching right now? Give me one more cup of coffee. You're pissing me off. Shannon, we need a tiered system here. This is a great idea, Zach. We get to 2000, you get a. There's a prize for the viewers of the show. You're just doing the show in a bikini top. Or even, like, make the office cold and put a top on where we can see your heart.

[Ryan Shaner]

Somebody would wear for, like, if you were a shot girl, something just real, real nice. Shannon, would you do with them prominently displayed?

[Zach Amico]

Would you do stickers and air fresheners of your boobs?

[Shannon]

What?

[Zach Amico]

Like, would you do, like, stickers of you, like, in a wet T shirt? Like, it's not. It's not. No one's seen it. But, like, it's just out there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, would you. Would you. Because this exists. Because they did. I did it with my. Years ago. I made a mold of my. What if we make a mold of your pussy and the winner gets to have the mold of your pussy?

[Shannon]

I thought you were gonna say boobs because that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would do a mold of your boobs. Yeah, your boobs have molds. So that's why I'm trying to get you new tits.

[Shannon]

Can I just try? Can we, like, give the old ones to someone? Does that matter?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nobody wants your old tits if the nipples aren't attached. It's like this. Can we see?

[Jim Florentine]

Display them at Skankfest. Her old ones.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That will be fun. Yeah, right?

[Jim Florentine]

You put them on display there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna throw them at a car like a water balloon.

[Zach Amico]

You could make a nice lamp out of. You put light bulbs behind it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shannon, I. I think that you're. You're not slutty enough. And if you were just a slut. You don't have to be slutty, just sluttier than you're being. We would go very far in this contest.

[Shannon]

I'll think about it over the weekend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You need to stop thinking. You need to start doing. Okay, I'm being honest right now. I'm protective over you, me and Shannon you're seeing on the Friday night hang. Shannon's basically agreed to make out with me in Jamaica this year. So tune into that. Tune into the whole story on the. The. Not the Friday night hang. The Friday exclusive. Exclusive show for Lewis and Zach. But Shannon, you just need to fucking do something a little bit sluttier. And I think the winner getting to see your tits is a fucking great thing. A great thing.

[Jim Florentine]

A quick flash. He's not going to take a picture. No, one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ten seconds. Ten seconds. Press them together. You say, Happy Birthday, Mr. President, and then that's that. How is that even a big deal to you? Who gives a shit?

[Shannon]

I do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're married now. That was a trick, Shannon. That was a trick. No, Shannon, you're retarded. And you need to just give up a little bit in order to. Was. We'll get there. We're at a thousand dollars. We're one twelfth of the way there. Essentially, we're almost there.

[Shannon]

I'll think about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can start sending out messages. I'll send a message to Tim, Dillon, Shane, Nate. We'll get big donations in.

[Shannon]

At least Tim won't want to see my boobs after.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think he would just a degree. I think he probably pull your tits out.

[Ryan Shaner]

Show them to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't even like tits.

[Zach Amico]

I did it because I could.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, we're going to wrap this one up. It's been a fun show. Fun show. Jim Florentine, Ryan Shaner, support them in everything they do. You guys rule. We'll be back on Friday with an exclusive episode just for subscribers to the Gas Digital network. So if you guys are watching this on YouTube, go subscribe. Anyway, good night.

[Shannon]

How do you make an Airbnb a furbo? Picture yourself in a vacation rental.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're wondering why you earn loyalty rewards.

[Shannon]

With hotels, airlines, coffee shops you visit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Even your local ice cream spots lot. But this vacation house gives you nothing when all of a sudden, look at that. You've earned loyalty rewards.

[Shannon]

Now it's a verbo where each stay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Earns you rewards towards your next stay.

[Shannon]

Want a vacation rental with rewards?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Make it a verbo.

[Shannon]

One key cash is not redeemable for cash and can only be used on Expedia, hotels.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Com and verbo.