0094. Maddy Smith and Katie Boyle

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Ep. 94

Guests: Maddy Smith, Katie Boyle
Date: March 8, 2026
Network: GaS Digital

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Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo delivers what regular listeners expect: twisted takes on bizarre news, irreverent comedian roundtable banter, and authentic industry insights. Comedians Maddy Smith and Katie Boyle join Zac for a chaotic drive-time hang, tackling weird event scams, comedy culture gripes, moral quandaries for comics, and more. The trio keep the energy unpredictable and uncensored, roaming from fake kid’s events to the struggles of keeping your stand-up act clear of walkouts—plus stories from the wilds of their careers, jokes about fast food, and a rollicking celebrity guessing game.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comic Bookings Tied to Identity & Holidays

• [02:29] Zac observes that Irish comics get booked heavily in March (St. Patrick’s Day), just like he gets booked around Halloween due to his persona.
• The comedians riff on how their identities (e.g., “token Irish person”) shape their bookings.

2. Scam Children’s Events & Parental Outrage

• [04:33–07:18] Zac brings up recent scam events for kids—specifically an “Ice Cream with Ms. Rachel Experience” in Florida that delivered a lackluster impersonator, misleading advertising, and a full bar at a kids’ event.
  • “Ms. Rachel, more like Rachel is missing.” – Zac, relaying the event disappointment [05:20]
  • Discussion on how easy it is to fake characters cheaply and trick people (Bluey costumes, bad impersonators).
  • Katie shares a similar miscommunication story about Belfast moms buying tickets for the wrong K-pop event, mistaking it for a Christian band.

3. Audiences Not Doing Their Homework

• [08:07–13:24] Comedians vent about people showing up to shows without knowing the performer or their style, leading to shocked walkouts (especially with controversial material).
  • Katie: “I literally say, this is why it’s really important to Google the comic before you go… two people stormed out during my set… 'you don’t joke about abortion.'” [08:24]
  • Zac: shares story of being called racist by a woman who then claimed she was a comic herself ("My mother said she was laughing when I was still in the womb"), mocking the entitlement and delusion.
  • Katie: complaints about young “influencer” comics bypassing comedy traditions and rules—a pet peeve amongst the old guard.
  • Zac: “My pet peeve is people starting podcasts and on the second episode asking me for advice… like, I don’t know, six years, every week, a couple times. What if we do like five, and advertisers will let us quit our jobs?” [11:13]

4. Adults/Teens at Comedy Shows

• Debate on warnings for “adults only” shows, and how some clubs/acts should or shouldn’t allow kids, referencing times when minors attended and how to handle touchy material responsibly.

5. Female Mayor’s Scandal Story

• [13:43–17:14] They discuss the news about a female mayor (Misty Roberts, DeRidder, LA) allegedly caught having sex with her son’s 16-year-old friend at a party, with a doordash driver and her son serving as witnesses.
  • “I just never understand when women want to have sex with younger men because they’re icky.” – Katie Boyle [15:03]
  • Discussion of double standards, and references to the notorious Mary Kay Letourneau case.

6. Comedians’ Morals & Professional Choices

• [23:08–26:17] Segment about Gabriel Iglesias (“Fluffy”) unapologetically doing gigs in Saudi Arabia for the payday:
  • Fluffy: “I don’t care. I bought a house with that money, so I don’t care what you say. Fluffy is a sellout. Damn right I am.” [23:08]
  • Comedians debate industry hypocrisy, the perils of having an overtly moral brand, and “double-edged sword” of speaking out vs. getting caught being hypocritical.
  • Katie: “There’s things that I’ve turned down because of morals… so annoying, but at the same time I’m still… happy because I don’t like guilt.” [23:49]
  • Discussion of predators in comedy, influence on booking decisions, and how some “allies” end up being the worst offenders.

7. Human Psychology: Projecting & Therapy Lessons

• [27:43–28:52] Zac and Katie swap reflections on how people who point fingers are often projecting or hiding their own flaws (“When you point a finger, there’s four more pointing back at you.” [27:39])
• Zac shares a personal family story about trauma and triggers with white shirts, linking to his dad’s hospital experiences—a moment of earnest vulnerability mid-chaos.

8. “The Irish Curse” & Stereotypes About Men

• [31:52–33:45] Raunchy, comedic breakdown of stereotypes about penis sizes across ethnicities, debunking tropes, and sharing brutal stories from their lives and other comics.

9. Old School Comedy Club Stories

• [21:30–22:32] Zac reminisces about CB’s and other infamous NYC comedy spots: topless bar deals for women, club politics, wild after-hours antics.

10. Run at Pop Culture & “Traitors” Reality Show

• [36:43–41:02] Lively talk about new seasons of reality show “Traitors,” cultural perceptions of ‘bimbos’ (riffing on how that archetype is treated), and real/debated instances of racism within the game.
  • “They think she’s a stupid bimbo, but… she’s just funny and silly, but she’s also gorgeous and fashionable.” – Katie (about Maura Higgins) [37:16]
  • Discussion about online reactions, perceptions of women on the show, and how strong personalities are attacked.

11. “Celebrity Comics Headband” Game

• [44:01–51:06] The three play a version of “Headbands”/Guess Who with comic names on their foreheads—trying to deduce their comic identity via yes/no questions, riffing on stereotypes and careers. Notable comics guessed: Bonnie McFarlane, Bobby Kelly, Joe List, Luis J. Gomez, and Tim Dillon.
  • "You're gay and white... Who is it? ...Tim Dillon." – The crew, as Katie tries to guess [49:13]
  • "Am I fat? ...Formerly." – Highlights the comic inside jokes (about Bobby Kelly) [48:11]

12. Fast Food CEO Taste Tests and Wedding Catering

• [51:06–54:50] Reactions to recent viral videos of McDonald’s and Burger King CEOs trying their own food; which chains actually taste good; Zac and Katie’s love for Bear Burger, which catered Zac’s wedding (surprisingly affordable and a major crowd-pleaser).
  • “Burger wedding. We put it on the invitation. The RSVP was if you can come, do you want a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a turkey burger, or a veggie burger?” – Zac [54:10]
  • “They had Brussels sprouts as a side. So we got fries and Brussels sprouts for people that didn’t want fries.” – Zac [54:25]
  • “And we had a candy bar on the way out… and the last thing was a can of A&W cream soda and a shot of Fireball.” [55:20]

13. American vs. European Life & Food

• [59:10–61:00] Discussion of America’s food, class connotations (cold cuts/hot dogs as childhood poverty memories), and stark differences between states versus small European countries.
  • “I feel sorry for America, though… your United States is huge. So trying to compare between, like, Ireland or England or France…” – Katie [59:56]
• Comedic takes on stereotypes about American geographic ignorance and how perspective maps distort global perceptions.

14. Slang, Language, Political Correctness

• [61:30–62:52] Mini-segment on changing language: “Third world country” vs “developing nation,” not saying “Middle East,” etc.
  • “In a developing nation, you can’t drink the water.” [62:04]
  • “When I was in Detroit, I was in a developing nation.” [62:07]

15. Drug Culture in Ireland & UK

• [65:51–66:46] The panel marvels at the open drug scene in Ireland and London, comparing the availability of coke vs. weed, and the rise of American weed quality over Amsterdam’s.
  • “I went to a billiards place in London and everyone just had bags of coke out.” – Zac [66:21]
  • “If you wanted coke, it'd be easier to get coke.” – Katie [66:45]

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Notable/Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “This lady was shithouse.” – Zac, on the fake Ms. Rachel event [06:16]
• “My pet peeve is people starting podcasts and on the second episode asking me for advice… ‘we’ll do like two or three proof of concepts and wait for advertisers.’” – Zac [11:13]
• “You have to really Google the comic before you go.” – Katie Boyle [08:24]
• “Fluffy is a sellout. Damn right, I am.” – Gabriel Iglesias, via recounting his Walk of Fame speech [23:08]
• “I am a very nice man. I've been with the same woman for a long time. I don't fuck around. Name a bad story about me.” – Zac [24:12]
• “The loud you are about something, the more somebody’s like, ‘I’m not racist.’ It’s like, I bet you’re so racist.” – Zac [26:52]
• “Bring up Alf. This is all I remember my dad’s dick looking like when I was a little kid.” – Zac [31:28]
• “If his dick was a knife, I could carry it legally.” – A friend of Zac’s, relayed via Maddy [34:00]
• “Am I gay and white?” – Katie (guessing Tim Dillon in the game) [49:02]
• “Burger wedding. The RSVP was if you can come, and if you're coming, do you want a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a turkey burger or a veggie burger?” – Zac [54:10]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:50–03:07: Comedian plugs and bookings, Halloween and St. Patrick’s booking pattern.
• 04:33–07:18: The Ms. Rachel impersonator fiasco and event scam stories.
• 08:07–13:24: Audience cluelessness, walkouts, influencer comics, show warnings.
• 13:43–17:14: Mayor sex scandal story.
• 23:08–26:17: Comedians taking controversial gigs, “selling out.”
• 27:43–28:52: Finger-pointing, projections, and therapy.
• 31:52–34:00: Raunchy “Irish curse”/dick size segment.
• 36:43–41:02: “Traitors” reality TV and pop culture commentary.
• 44:01–51:06: Celebrity guessing game (“Headbands” with comics).
• 51:06–54:53: Fast food CEO taste tests, wedding catering with Bear Burger.
• 59:10–61:00: America vs. Europe food, size, and life comparison.
• 65:51–66:46: Drug trends in Ireland/UK.

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Tone & Vibe

Rowdy, unfiltered, self-mocking, smartly crude, and emotionally honest when it matters. The dynamic between Zac, Maddy, and Katie is loose and friendly, giving listeners a sense of dropping in on a real, unvarnished morning comedian hang. There’s no sacred cow—everything from personal flaws and parental issues to industry shockers and social hypocrisy gets the zoo treatment.

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Summary

This episode is a classic “Morning Zoo” ride: it’s uproarious, off-color, and deliberately all over the place—skewering scam news, arguing about comedy’s weird rules, revealing insecurities, and playing with pop culture. Comedy diehards and fans of unfiltered comic banter will especially enjoy the blend of cringe stories, inside-baseball references, and unapologetically weird games.

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to pay jokes against you Start your day tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the

[C]

CRE

[B]

It's a morning suit.

[A]

Hello, hello, hello. Wake up, it's a Wednesday here at the Gas Digital Studios. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico, saying welcome to the morning zoo, you sons of bitches. Across the table from me are two very funny comedians who I love very much and I'm very happy to have them on the show. From the shift podcast is our great friend, Katie Boyle.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

How are you, my love?

[C]

Good. Thanks for having me.

[A]

Thank you so much for being here. And next to her from the Madhouse podcast right here on the network is our great friend, Maddie Smith.

[D]

What up, what up?

[A]

How you guys doing?

[D]

Thanks for having me as well.

[A]

I appreciate you greatly.

[D]

I think we're both good.

[A]

I think we're gonna have a great day. Let's get plugs out of the way. Matty, what do you want people to check out?

[D]

Hey, everybody. Maddysmithcomedy.com I am on muffattur so you can catch me in San Diego and New Orleans this month. I also have a monthly show at New York Comedy club. It's called a residency so go to my website to check out all the shows. Madhouse podcast and a new show on YouTube called Happy to help where I play a therapist who takes user listener calls and I give advice. Thank you.

[A]

Fantastic, Ms. Boyle.

[C]

Katieboylecomic.com on tour as well. Also gonna be in San Diego in March 19th to 22nd. I'll just miss you.

[D]

I'll just miss you.

[C]

Okay, great. Also be oh my God. Loads of places. Chicago, New York, fec. Loads of different places. Katie Boyle, comic, please come to shows. There's especially March really tokenized as the Irish person. So come out and then two specials on you YouTube therapy and I'll do it myself. Thank you.

[A]

Fantastic. I feel like all the Irish comics get booked in March the way I get booked around Halloween.

[C]

That should be ours because that's also from Halloween or from Ireland.

[A]

Hey guys, check me out on Instagram at Zach is now funny. All my tickets punch up that live. Zachmiko got dates coming up in Long Island. I got a mini tour coming up with my little brother Crack Amico. Where we're gonna be doing Indiana and a few other places. And most importantly, filming my first ever half an hour special May 23 at the Creek in the Cave in Austin the night before Ms. Maddie Smith is doing hers. Right?

[D]

I actually can't do it.

[A]

Fuck.

[D]

The dates came up and I have to do a bachelorette party.

[A]

I'm very sorry, it's gonna be late as fuck, but it's gonna be super fun. It's myself and Tim Butterly gonna be split in the evening. Please come out. It would mean a lot. And thank you for tuning in. If you like the show and we know you do, head on over to gas digital.com today. New updates to the site constantly being made. And hey, if you use my promo code, Zach, you save a little bit of money off that subscription. Your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite GAS shows. You get part to be part of the live chat and most importantly, you get our Friday bonus episode. That's right. We do three of these suckers a week and if you want all three, that's how you're going to have to get it. But thank you so much. However you consume the show and let's have some fun. First things first, do you guys remember, I want to say it was about two years ago they did a Willy Wonka event in Britain and when they got there it was literally like dollar store decorations. Yeah. Well, it happened again at an ice cream shop. Had a day with Ms. Rachel for little kids and it said a day and then small it says impersonator but it's ice cream with Ms. Rachel. And when I show you what a shit show this was and how parents are furious. A medica, I believe. So it's in Florida.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And Ms. Rachel, it was called A Day with Ms. Rachel Experience.

[D]

Over.

[C]

Remind me I have a really good one afterwards.

[A]

Absolutely. So let's check this out.

[D]

Anyways, you still got people standing out there in this long line to go see the state.

[E]

Now what the woman is talking about in this video is a disaster of an event called Ice Cream with Miss Rachel Experience. It was hosted at a jolly ice parlor in Hollywood, Florida. Now this was the post that was posted on social media and it says meet and greet with Ms. Rachel impersonator. However, it has a picture of of somebody that looks really, really close to Ms. Rachel or Ms. Rachel herself. However, when people started showing up to this event, things went very, very wrong. So when all the children and parents

[A]

got to the end of It.

[E]

This is who showed up. Ms. Rachel. More like Rachel is missing. I mean, there's no shade on this hustle at all. Okay. In person. Absolute money. And yes, they're valuable because then kids get to see some of their heroes. However, I think it's extremely wrong for them to show the real Ms. Rachel on the advertisement and then her show up. Also, there was a full bar there for some reason with like specialty cock.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

So please note the child hiding behind the fully stock.

[D]

Oh yeah, I didn't even see her.

[A]

So they get there and by the way, maybe one of the staples of alcoholism, the giant. The.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Huge handle of Bacardi huge that you

[D]

would have on display in a college dorm room.

[A]

And so that means this lady was shithouse.

[C]

Her hair is kind of like messy as well. Like, it's not even like. And the shirt, they put no effort into this.

[A]

Keep it going.

[E]

Tails. And yes, that is a child behind that said bar. Maybe they were banking on getting the parents a little inebriated. So Ms. Rachel was. Looked a little more Ms. Rachel. So there you guys go. There's the fake Ms. Rachel event. And it's always good to be wary of these events because it seems like they're getting worse and worse. I'd like to hear in the comments below what you guys think about this and I'll see you guys.

[A]

So what's next about that before you get into your thing? It's so easy to just get a bluey costume. Literally just rent a outfit.

[D]

Yep, get an outfit.

[A]

It's so easy. But then to have a.

[D]

Just a lady in overalls with impersonator being in size 2 font and please,

[A]

Katie, you had something.

[C]

No, I was just going to say the comments were funny. Oh, that's Senora Raquel.

[D]

Hilarious. And they could have given her a headband. Classic Hollywood Florida activities.

[A]

And what did you add something you wanted us to note?

[C]

Well, oh, no, it's just. It's separate this. But something similar happened in Ireland recently. So I guess these moms from Belfast didn't realize. Realized that K pop is a genre of music and they just thought K pop was K Pop demon hunters.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So they bought all these tickets to like a. It was. It's like one of the biggest venues in Belfast and like it was just a K Pop band. And so they all complained that they brought their kids and it was very sexual. And this isn't. This isn't Demon Hunters. And they were putting up videos like as if they were like, you know, really correct. Not realizing how Ignorant and stupid. They looked. Because that'd be like going thinking only rap is Nicki Minaj and then being upset when there's another rap artist.

[D]

That's awesome.

[A]

I actually feel like that's a weird thing we deal with as comics because people just go to a comedy club because it says comedy. You would never go to a place that just said music.

[D]

Right.

[C]

That's so true.

[A]

You would Google the band. Go ahead, please.

[C]

Oh, my God. No, seriously. I have a clip about this where I'm going to post, and I literally say, this is why it's really important. Important to Google the comic before you go. Because I was in Emmaus and I asked if people didn't know me, and some people clapped and I was like, oh, you should, like, you should have really Googled me before coming. Because I know now as a woman and I talk about, like, abortion rights and all of that, it's, like, really risky out there. But two people stormed out during my set.

[D]

During abortion stuff.

[C]

During the abortion stuff. Yeah. And. And I said in it, I was like, this is why you Google the act. Like, you don't. And it was. It was just crazy. Like, they were like, you don't joke about abortion.

[D]

I was like, well, I do.

[C]

If you Googled me, you would.

[D]

A ticket to Katie Boreal.

[A]

Yeah. I walk out in Toronto and it was a chick, and she was outside the venue screaming that I was racist.

[D]

Oh, my God. I mean, like, right, yeah.

[A]

It's like, obviously you've seen me before, but not my act.

[D]

No, no, no. Offstage, my act.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That's all personal.

[C]

Yeah, but you.

[A]

My act is so fucking clean.

[D]

Squeaky.

[A]

Well, I'm dirty, but I'm not, like, offensive, I think.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And she's done screaming. And then I was like, oh, I felt so bad. And then I found out the quickest way to find out she was crazy. She started telling everyone she was a comic.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Awkward.

[A]

And they went, how long have you been doing comedy? And she went, my mother said she was laughing when I was still in the womb.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And they went, when's the last time you've done comedy on stage? She's like, three years ago.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And she was outside saying, they should have booked her instead of me.

[D]

Bro, we need a union.

[C]

I know. We do. We need. We need a new union as well. Because, like, I don't know, there's just some really young comics saying wild shit to me, like, really entitled. Like, I just. I need them to be shot. I'm Sorry. One person was like asking me how much I was paid in something because they were trying to compare it and I was like, fuck off. I was like, I wasn't paid at all until seven years longer than what you're doing. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I can't even. I don't even understand, like the. Or I don't think they know. They don't know any of the rules anymore. Like, you know, like influencer comics.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They don't realize that they're like, oh, like, that's like someone else's joke. Or you need to stay on the stage before the host. Or like, you know, you know, the basic.

[A]

That was beaten into us.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And like, I'm.

[A]

Because they don't have. For me, they don't have like a Bobby Kelly who's gonna call you and be like, what are you, stupid? Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Or even like James Mad, who's so nice, but he did it really nice to us when we were like at New York Comedy Club. Like all these little things. Or. Or yeah, just even do open mics to see what's hack. Or yeah, like, they don't even do open mics now because they've blown up immediately on and they're calling themselves stand ups and then annoyed when they're called Influencer Comics. But like, that's fine. That's what you are. If you're not doing open mics and you're not doing shows, you're only doing your own. But anyway, yeah, I'm just like, my

[A]

pet peeve is people starting podcasts and on the second episode asking me for advice. Or they haven't released one yet and they always give me the same thing, which is, yeah, we're going to do like two or three proof of concepts and then we're going to let advertisers, like, bid on how. Who wants to sponsor the show. I'm like, oh, great. Like, how many episodes before you started getting paid? I'm like, I don't know, six years, every week, a couple times. What if we do like five? You think, like, somebody will, like, we can quit our jobs after that night.

[D]

Hilarious. The clips.

[A]

Yeah, but the comparison to music, like when it says comedy, like, you wouldn't go see a music, go to a concert and be like, I like Barry Manilow and this is speed metal. That's like, well, then that's your fucking fault.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, also, I very specifically say for them to put in description, I need to be better at following up with all of that because I Do think people will book a ticket to see me and think, oh, an Irish woman. Because those two people who walked out were old Irish people yelling at me. They were like, we're from Ireland too. And I was like, yeah, but like, I'm from the modern one, you know, where like women are allowed. Like, they just thought I would be like, diddly. I. The.

[A]

Do you put adults only on your shows or not?

[D]

Some of them. I think there should be a warning for clean comedians.

[A]

I put boring. I put adults only. And I actually asked if they can put 21 plus.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't mind when kids.

[A]

Especially on my late shows.

[C]

Well, people have brought kids to my shows too. I'm okay with that because they've said they've actually brought them for education.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

Yeah. One woman emailed me and she's like, can I bring my son to your Grammys to show he's only 16? And I said, they've said it's fine, but I will be doing at the end 10 minutes up the top. This is what was annoying about the other people. They walked out on the very light abortion jokes. The last 10 minutes are more heavy.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But I was like, the last 10 minutes does go into like abortion and like pill and sex. So if you want to come and leave before then. And she was like, no way. This means I don't have to educate him. This is great. So like sometimes people want to. And the kid came up to me afterwards, he bought a sticker.

[D]

I've had, you know, 17 year olds

[A]

and I'm fine with it if they're cool about it.

[D]

Yeah, me too. Not if they're going to sit there and look at me with daggers.

[A]

But I just need. I need the bill to say, yeah, 21 plus. This is an adult show. Like, it's just what I do.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I entertain grownups.

[D]

I leave it up to the club.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But this is a great. This is actually a great transition. Shannon, do we have the. I don't think we did this. Yesterday, the mayor who got caught having sex with a drunk 16 year old.

[C]

Oh, which mayor?

[D]

Where's he at?

[A]

He got caught in.

[F]

Yes, I do. It's a woman.

[D]

Oh, it's a chick.

[A]

Pardon me? Yes.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Ah, feminism.

[A]

Yeah, Sorry I screwed that up already.

[D]

However, that's my sexism. I thought it was a man.

[C]

I know, right?

[A]

The getting caught in. Maybe the funniest paper trail possible. Shannon.

[F]

So that process, what happened was she was having a. There was a pool party that her son was also attending, I believe it was at her house. And one of her son's friends, the 16 year old, is who she banged afterwards. She ordered the morning after pill via doordash and apparently the doordash driver recognized her and he like testified against her to say that she did in fact order it. She also like texted. Texted her friends about it afterwards and they're like, yeah, you should totally get the morning after pill. So she wasn't discreet about this at all. And. And her son also saw it. He saw it happen.

[D]

Doordash.

[A]

The door dash. Or his friend.

[F]

His mom saw his friend. His mom.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

Jesus.

[D]

Wait, it's a mayor.

[C]

Wait. I just never understand when women want to have sex with like younger men because they're icky.

[D]

Gross.

[F]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[D]

They're dis.

[C]

They're the ickiest. But yeah, they're smelly, they're squishy, they're small. They're like. I mean, men are disgusting. So you like squidgy small women? Yeah, I just. I don't understand. The other is not. I feel like 50.

[A]

50. Because sometimes when you see like a teacher banging her student, then you see him and he's like 64 with a full muscle.

[C]

Can we see him?

[A]

There's. You can't put a picture of kids.

[C]

Oh yeah, Like Katie.

[F]

I can show you her though. She's 43. This is her.

[A]

Beautiful.

[C]

Yeah, she is.

[A]

And this kid probably is like, I'm leaving it in.

[D]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[F]

Also her name Misty Roberts.

[D]

And she's amazing.

[A]

Misty, you can't have mayor. What are you the mayor of the Powerpuff Girls? Literally that.

[D]

Where's she mayor of the strip club.

[F]

Hold on, hold on, Louisiana. It's a DeRidder, Louisiana.

[D]

Y.

[A]

That's gotta be tough for one of your friends to fuck your mom at a party and she goes to jail.

[C]

She's going to jail.

[A]

She's going to jail. So everybody know? It's not even an unconfirmed rumor.

[F]

They also like, they tried her once, but they. It was dismissed. Or what do you call it? Dismissed because the. I guess like the judge or something knew her husband, something like that. So they threw it out for then and they're about to retry her again.

[A]

That is a group of people that I feel like should form a league of supervillains. Guys whose wives cheated on them with a child.

[C]

Yes. He's protecting her still.

[A]

How do you get through life seriously, knowing that your wife looked at a child and went, that's gotta be better than what I'm getting right now.

[D]

It's like the May December movie. Did you see that? I know you named those people. Yeah, yeah. And she was with this. Yeah, he was like a Latino.

[C]

Well, that married him.

[D]

Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, what was it? Mary Kayla Turno, Right.

[D]

Yep, yep.

[A]

Yeah, she married that. She died, but she married. They got married when she got out.

[C]

She groomed him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How many. No, wait. How many years do you get for doing that? Because it's rape.

[A]

She got a couple.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, she got a couple because he stayed around. Then they. They were together after, I say, 10 years or something. Yeah, five to 10.

[C]

You'd get 10 years.

[D]

Wow. Yeah. Then she came out and then they.

[C]

Look, she was pregnant in prison, right?

[F]

Yeah, she was sentenced to seven and a half years.

[D]

Word. Wow.

[A]

Yeah, but you don't serve all that, right?

[D]

Right.

[A]

Probably get out with your baby.

[C]

Especially if you had a baby. They probably.

[A]

I just feel like people. Unless it's a violent crime, people get out pretty quick. As long as you're like.

[D]

It's like one year.

[C]

All right.

[D]

You proved yourself.

[F]

Yeah, she did. It says time served 98 to 2004. So seems like she did serve the whole time.

[A]

Good for her. Well, hey, the justice system hard at work. All right, moving on. Hey, guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and, yeah, in the bedroom, too. And it's not just about tea. Body Brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood, thanks to lion's mane Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body Brain Coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. You can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail] that's Z O O 15 bodybraincoffee.com powerbraincoffee.com Power your day. Feel your drive. Let's get back into the show. Do you guys see Fluffy's Walk of fame speech.

[C]

I don't know who Fluffy is.

[A]

Gabriel Iglesias.

[C]

I don't know who Gabriel.

[A]

Big Mexican comic. He wears bowling shirts and shorts.

[D]

You definitely recognize him for someone who's

[C]

in comedy as long as I've been doing, I don't know, a lot of comedy.

[D]

He's a huge in the. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I probably do know him.

[A]

His voices.

[C]

He's huge in la and he's got the longer hair. No, no, no. Show me him. Because I probably did. Yeah, no ringing no bells.

[A]

Really.

[C]

I don't really watch.

[D]

He's kind of like health inspector but for Mexican people.

[A]

Larry the cable.

[D]

Yeah, sorry.

[A]

He has a lot of voices. He's clean. He does like big arena. I think he does like big arenas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maya, I, I, I made. It's a good thing in my past have a, a young lady who I spoke to very frequently and she was a self admitted comedy groupie.

[D]

Okay. Yep.

[A]

And she used to, she got banned from a club for banging his opener in the ticket booth.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

And the club walked in and they banned her because she was fucking so many comics.

[D]

Come on, you gotta keep the chuckle fuckers around. It's good for morale.

[A]

I would say there's nothing wrong with it.

[C]

Agreed.

[A]

If she's hanging out.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I'll meet a couple of them at Skank Fest. They're like, I'm friends with blah blah blah and blah blah blah. I'm like, you're funny.

[A]

I bet you are. I sure bet you are.

[C]

And it's all consensual. Then it's grand.

[A]

Of course, I think maybe in the ticket booth could be like a bad look. If you're a patron of the club and you walk by the office.

[D]

I think it's like comedy's rock and roll.

[A]

Oh, I agree. I listen, if you remember how Seabeez was never.

[D]

I don't even know what that is.

[A]

CB's was on the corner of McDougal, right past where the Cellar is like another block and a half down. It was on the corner where Cafe Del Mar was.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's where I first worked.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Never heard of that.

[A]

And that was. It was called the World and it was called maybe the Comedy Shop. At one point when I worked there, it was called CBs.

[D]

Okay, got it.

[A]

And it was the Wild West CD. Oh, yeah. I remember a time where the doors closed and someone I will not name, someone who helped run the place, told the girls that were there they could drink for free as long as they were Topless.

[C]

Jeez, that's not a bad deal. No, it's a great deal.

[A]

It was their call. They were given. And they would have drank for free anyway.

[D]

I know, right? Come on.

[A]

But it was a good time. I think that was a good sitch.

[D]

Yeah, that sounds great.

[C]

Because that's when I was still everybody topless.

[A]

When I was still a door guy. Well, yeah, well, when I was still a door guy, I used to bring dates there because the manager was gay. And I would sit her with him while I still worked. And he would prep her basically and just talk me up for an hour and a half. And then I would get off work, we would have dinner and I fucking. My half. My job is done.

[D]

Already done. Boom.

[A]

That was good times.

[D]

Sounds great.

[A]

Those were good times. All right, we got more. Let's see. Fluffy's Walk of Fame speech. The first person to unapologetically discuss doing the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

[F]

I have an issue. I'm sorry. I skimmed through it, but I couldn't. It's 15 minutes long. His whole speech and I couldn't find that. That exact part. I don't know if you want to watch some of it or you just want me to tell you the quote.

[A]

Yeah, let's hear the quote.

[F]

Okay, so he said in regards to the Saudi Arabia gig quote, I don't care. Yeah. I bought a house with that money, so I don't care what you say. Fluffy is a sellout. Damn right I am.

[D]

I'll take that.

[A]

That's way better than, dude, they got McDonald's.

[C]

Yeah, I'll take that.

[D]

I'll take that. Or Whitney Cummings calling everyone who critiqued her racist.

[C]

Yeah. And also, I'm sorry, the people who did accept it. I'm thinking of someone specifically, but who accepted it. But their whole brand is against that. And then was upset when their fans were annoyed with them. It's like, well, if your brand is against that, you have to be okay with people being annoyed with you when you do it. And then you're whinging, it's like, well, your bank is full. Either don't whinge, don't either don't do it or do it. And don't winch. Do you know what I mean? And that's just a bit like, I'll

[D]

take the Fluffy response over everyone else's.

[C]

Yeah, like that's. That's a bit hard.

[A]

Having a moral stance as a comedian is a double edged sword.

[D]

Agree.

[C]

Yeah. You have to either stick with it. And there's things that I'VE turned down because of fucking morals. So annoying. But at the same time, I'm still like, in hindsight, happy because I don't like guilt. I feel guilty all the time.

[A]

I know there's very few things my morals would keep me from doing.

[C]

Well, we know that.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

What morals do you have?

[A]

I am a very nice man.

[C]

You are very nice.

[A]

I'm very nice. I've been with the same woman for a long time. I don't fuck around. Name a bad story about me.

[D]

I can't think of one.

[C]

Yeah, but I can't imagine you being like, well, I get, I get. I actually, if there was a known rapist booker, I don't think you'd work there.

[A]

Probably not.

[C]

Yeah, see, so you do. Yeah. You are moral. That's the same as me. I'm just like, I can't. The guy is rapey. Not gonna rape me. I'm too old. But I don't wanna, I don't wanna go there. And then other women go, yeah, I know, right? And then other. That's the problem too. That's the things you have to think about as a woman comic. You might be like, I'm not in danger of it. But then if I go, they're using me to let other younger women think it's okay. And then they get raped. Oh, it's like so much we have to think about.

[D]

Totally.

[A]

All right, maybe my moral, my morality is not as strong as I thought because now I still have one or two writing gigs I've taken where I'm like, it's probably not a good person. Not like I was there.

[C]

It's hard in comrading.

[D]

I feel like, yeah, just do it.

[C]

It's. It's hard because it's like, yeah, everybody has to have, Everybody has to be okay with their own. I hate when other people put it out on other people. Like people were getting really mad at some younger women comic in Ireland for doing something, but I responded to them with like, just be safe. Don't. You've already accepted it. And even if people are mad at you, the main thing is that you know the information now and just protect yourself instead of being mad at them because they've already taken it, they didn't know. And it's not fair to put that on younger comics when the older comics are still doing it.

[A]

You know, One of the reasons I'm specifically not preachy is again, it's a double edged sword because I feel like when you find out, like when there's Comics that are so pro women and so, you know, outspoken, and then you find out they're doing the same shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They take a girl out on the road and go, oh, they only had one room.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Yeah. And it's the same guys that are the ones.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Calling everybody that guy.

[A]

Yeah. Getting a poo kicked off the goddamn Simpsons.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No, there was this guy in Ireland, and he was, like, getting. He was, like, a few years ago, getting really big, but his whole thing was like, defend women, protect women. And then it turned out he was, like, doing revenge porn or something crazy like that on them. And so there was, like, a load of younger women comics who were traumatized by him.

[D]

Remember the experimental comedy gallery?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That guy who ran it in Brooklyn 10 years ago was such an ally rapist.

[C]

Such an. He came into me one day and he was like, you need to be careful of men. You need to be careful. And I was like. Like, I just got here. And then it came out on, like, Facebook that he was.

[A]

I always feels like it's almost like projecting.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Where like, the loud you are about something, the more somebody's like, I'm not racist. It's like, I bet you're so racist.

[D]

You got kkk.

[C]

There's a person right now, and I won't say who, and I'll try to keep this as incognito as possible, but there's a person right now attacking someone, saying they did something to them, and the specific thing they're saying that person actually did to me. So I was like, I don't think. And I think that person is just a psycho. And usually when people say, like, oh, this is happening to me, sometimes they're the people doing it. And so it's just funny because when I saw that, I was like, but they did that to me. But I just didn't speak out about it or say anything. I just blocked the person. But when someone sent it to me, I was like, of course they're now saying that that's being done to them by someone else.

[A]

People always forget when you point a finger, there's four more pointing back at you. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You need to be squeaky clean when you're pointing fingers.

[A]

And it's the same, like. I guess it's similar to. I think a lot of the times, the things that annoy us most are actually things we fear or know about ourselves. So when I get mad at, like, autistic nerds on the Internet, that's me being mad at me. Yes.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

And the things I know I used to be like. Or I would say when I was 17. And that's why I get so overly annoyed. And I'm camouflaging my own flaws and camouflaging my own insecurity by shitting on them or being extra mad at them.

[C]

Yep, that's so true. Because I do find that, like, post therapy version of me finds it really irritating when I meet someone who had the, like, who is clearly the issues I had before. Because it's like I'm afraid I'm gonna catch it again. Like it's some sort of flu. I'm like, I can't. Yeah, I've fixed these. I can't be listening to your. But then I'm like, God, then it makes me feel bad for the people who listen to me when I was in my 20s and the way I was going on. But yeah, so I relate to that.

[A]

I just had a conversation with my dad the other day where he might be the most vulnerable he's ever been. And he was telling me, because I knew my dad was sick as a baby. He was in the hospital, he had tumors. And he spent a couple months in the hospital when he was before, you know, when he was like, before he was one. And I've just known that as a fact, but it's never really, like, occurred to me. And he said he was hanging out with my Uncle Donald. And my Uncle Donald goes, I bet you don't own any white shirts. My dad goes, I don't. And he goes, that's because you're terrified of white clothes from when you were a baby. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, when you came back from the hospital, you were the happiest baby. But then our Uncle Paul would come to pick you up and he always wore white dress shirts. And you would scream and you wouldn't go with them.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And I have a feeling that you were traumatized by the hospital. And then he says, go now. And my dad owns. My dad wears dress clothes all the time. My dad owns zero white dress shirts. And he went as far to tell me because my second stepmom worked at a hospital. And first she used to wear pantsuits, and then she got a new job and had to start wearing the doctor's coat. And my dad couldn't be around her.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And he's like, I think that was what killed the marriage. As I saw her every day in that. And I was afraid to come home.

[C]

Oh, my God. Wait, Second step mom Though.

[A]

Yeah, I'm on three. I call her new. New mom.

[C]

So you got like four moms?

[A]

No, I've got one mom.

[C]

Wait, but you've got one mom and

[A]

three step moms over the years. Yeah.

[C]

Wow, that's wild.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think your dad might have other issues.

[A]

Oh yeah. So my dad's sober and he really picked a lame. And it is ladies.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

My dad is like Hank Hill, if instead of propane and steaks and football, it was just pussy.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

That's so true.

[C]

There's so many people who get sober then just become like sex addicts or.

[D]

Candy.

[C]

Sugar candy.

[A]

Yeah. And he's in good shape. He's in good shape and sober. So it has just been destroying families.

[C]

Do you have a photo of him?

[A]

Yeah. I'll show you my dad later.

[C]

Oh my God. That'd be fun to see.

[D]

Monsieur Amiko.

[A]

Yeah, no, my dad is. My dad is old man abs. It's really weird. Wow. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, I love those.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz he's. Well, he still does like physical every day.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What's amico?

[A]

Italian.

[C]

Oh, Italian.

[A]

Italian for friends.

[D]

He's got like Don Draper abs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he's. And a hammer too. It really makes me mad. Have you ever seen alf? That's what my dad's dick looks like.

[C]

Alf, the anteater.

[A]

Bring up alf. This is all I remember my dad's dick looking like when I was a little kid. It burned in my memory.

[C]

How many sons does he have?

[A]

Just me.

[C]

And it didn't pass on to you?

[A]

Nope. Yeah, that's what my dad's dick looks like.

[D]

Wow. Really cute.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Dark like that too.

[D]

Yours too?

[A]

No, no, no, no. I got none of it. I got the German dick.

[C]

What's the German dick?

[A]

Nothing.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I got nothing. I. It's like the Irish curse but racist.

[C]

I never heard that thing about the Irish. The Irish curse that they have small release.

[A]

Yeah. That's like a running.

[C]

Because they don't have small willies in Ireland. I've never met.

[A]

I think that's an American stereotype.

[C]

Yeah, Maybe it was the hormones over here shrunk the willies.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe because it's specifically called the Irish curse.

[C]

Yeah. I never heard the stereotype in Ireland and I never thought that's a small willie. When I was in Ireland,

[A]

I had. My dad had a guy that worked for him named Ray. And Ray was an old Polish guy who was just the fucking funniest. He would. He had no filter. He would just. And I was a little kid And Ray would say crazy shit, like. And he was also a little slow. Not slow, but just, you know, I don't think his reading and writing was up. Tip top.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I remember one time we were in the truck, and he goes. He saw a salon, and he goes, unisex saloon. Is that one of them gay bars? Paulie?

[C]

That's so cute.

[A]

He told us about being in. He fought. He tell us he fought in Korea.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

And he goes, I'm in Korea. And we go to a bathhouse. And it was me and four black guys in my troop. And all the women were there. And they saw all that. They saw these four black guys walk in. They turned to their men with their little rice dicks.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And they all flew to the black guy. Because you've never seen a more popular man in any situation than four black guys walking into a Korean bathhouse like moth to a floor, just swinging.

[C]

I've also been with a few Asian men, and I don't believe that stereotype either.

[A]

I think it's come and go.

[C]

I have probably had sex with too many people.

[D]

Yeah. It depends on the guy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I've seen a black dude with a regular dick.

[A]

I see a black dude that's smaller.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I've seen every race with all size dicks.

[A]

There was a friend of mine, had an Asian boyfriend. I'll name him it. His name was Tenzin. And she had a bowl she smoked out of that was only about this big, and she named it Tenzin.

[D]

Hilarious.

[C]

I mean, I think that's abuse.

[D]

It's funny.

[A]

The meanest thing I've ever heard a girl say about another guy's dick was she gave him a hand job and said to us the next day, she's like, if his dick was a knife, I could carry it legally.

[D]

Hilarious.

[A]

And then we called him knife, dick, fire. Because she said that. She goes, his dick was smaller than my four fingers.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

She's like, if I. She goes, I could defend myself with his dick on the subway legally.

[C]

And he would just laugh. He was just like a very secure.

[A]

No, she didn't say it to him. She said it to us to talk shit.

[C]

Oh, my God. Horrible.

[D]

I have big hands, so I will make a dick disappear. Little hand job. You got. No, you got dainty hands. I feel like.

[C]

All right. Yeah, you got long fingers. Wow.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'd be a one potato.

[D]

Emasculate a man.

[A]

I'd be a one potato.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

A one potato.

[A]

You know, one potato, two potato. Three potatoes.

[C]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[A]

Yeah. A tiny chick. I could be. I've been a two potato once, and she was tiny.

[D]

Tiny.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like a potato and a purr.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

At my best.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, moving on. All right, Harvdog. Back in the news. Harvey Weinstein praises Christina Applegate after she wrote in her book, he's afraid of her. Shannon is.

[D]

Harv's not in jail, Right.

[F]

I believe. Is he out of jail? Okay, so in her book, she said that she only met him one time briefly, and she. At a party and she overheard him making distasteful remarks about another woman. And she wrote that Harvey was, quote, definitely afraid of her after that because she's a woman who doesn't mess around. And then his response through a spokesperson was that she's a gifted actress and a powerful voice in Hollywood. It's good to see her sharing her story and her perspective in her own words. But I don't remember running into Christina Applegate or having that conversation.

[A]

You probably lose it after a while. I mean, if you've talked shit about women for 50 years, it's probably hard to remember.

[C]

He's also raped women, so why does he care about the talking shit thing? He probably shouldn't even respond. It's like, well, I've raped them, though.

[A]

He's like, lady, you have no idea how lucky you are.

[D]

Yeah, just stop talking.

[C]

Christina Applique again.

[A]

She was the daughter on Married With Children as well as the main girl in Anchorman.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[D]

Gorgeous and dead to me. Now she has Ms. Or.

[A]

And no titties, right?

[D]

Yeah, I think she cut him off.

[A]

Yeah. That's a rough run.

[D]

She's basically, like, bedridden.

[A]

Yeah, I believe she is.

[C]

The tits is from cancer or.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Chronic illness.

[A]

Tough run.

[D]

Super sad. She was hot.

[A]

She was. So we were watching Married With Children the other night with a bunch of guys. A bunch of guys here. And somebody, I think it was somebody said they don't make bimbos anymore. That's like a kind of woman that you don't see.

[C]

No, you know, I. I will argue they do. And I think she's a very intelligent bimbo and I really enjoy her. And people think she's a stupid bimbo, but Maura Higgins, have you seen her in Traders? She's just a funny, girly girl who's. Who, like, lets herself, like, be silly or. And I. I really annoys me that people think that's stupid, but I think she's just like.

[A]

They think What? That's what they think.

[C]

Yeah. She's just. She's like.

[A]

I saw a group of people watching the Traitors finale, and they had a cheers every time she said tink.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

And they would all go, tink.

[C]

She's just funny and silly, but she's also gorgeous and, like, very fashionable. And that's kind of what I think

[A]

of, like, Jan and I both love the show Traders.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

I watched it for people that are still watching this season, I guess. Skip the next 30 seconds. I thought Maura was very classy in defeat.

[C]

I. And also I was so annoyed. And this is another thing. When it comes to that stereotype of a bimbo woman, people are very. Even women are very quick to kind of be mean to them just because they're, like, pretty and silly and like, who cares that they only. Like, they're only into fashion. But the way they attacked her because she didn't listen to Tara at the very last episode, it's like, okay. But if she had been wrong and just completely went against her alliance for the whole season, that would have been like, shady as. So she stuck with the guy who manipulated everybody. No one's given out to everybody else

[D]

who was fooled by him.

[A]

I like that she was like, hey, you know what? That's the. The game is called Traitors. You beat me.

[C]

And she's still friendly with him. The rest of them didn't take it as a game. Candace was losing it on the fucking reunion. It's like, it's a game. Rob's not a.

[A]

It's called Traitors.

[C]

He played the game. He's playing chess.

[A]

It's called trail. You're supposed to backstab people.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's. Did you. I think it was Candace and another person said that. That Traders is racist because they always vote out a black person first. And so what's part of our culture to be outspoken and yell and overreact and people see that as intimidating. I'm like, no, you just got yourself eliminated.

[C]

Well, I saw Ron's not complaining about it. I saw the, like, stats of the traitors. But I thought what was not great in New York Times. I watch Tiktoks, is that they didn't include the Irish traitors. Where out of the. So, like, two of the black girls won in the Irish Traitors. And you know, when you think of the population of Ireland who are black, it's very, very small. So I thought that was actually great because it for as a representation. You know what I mean? Like, there's not as many people who like, actually represent them in the country. And they won. And one white girl. So it was one white girl, two black girls, but one out of the whole cast who were majority white. So I was like, that's actually just

[A]

shows if you want to really lose a weekend or you're sick and want to watch something. So Traitors has traitors. Australia Traders.

[C]

Watch the Ireland one. Have you got. They were amazing. And the girl, one of the girls who won it, she kept calling who the traitors were, but then she'd be like, actually, I don't know. And we were. You'd be screaming at the TV like, you're so smart. Do it.

[F]

Trust your gut.

[C]

But then she had oops. Then she went, oh, my God, I broke the things. I got too excited. It's traitors. I just love it so much.

[A]

I recommend the first season of UK is a really good place to go.

[C]

Oh, I haven't watched that one. Is it really good?

[A]

Yeah, it's the first season of UK one is really good.

[C]

I applied for Traitors this year, but I don't know.

[D]

I hope you get it.

[C]

I mean, but I think like thousands and thousands of people apply.

[D]

Yeah, but you're standing.

[A]

Yeah, but you'll be great.

[C]

Yeah, but it's not. It's the non. It's like just regular people. Whereas before it was celebs and you have to be at least like, got it.

[A]

Like on another show.

[C]

Yeah. Like Moore Higgins had like 4 million followers.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But this is the Non Slam one from the Bachelor. I just hope that they're like, I hope that not doing stand up won't hinder it, but.

[D]

Right.

[C]

I. I said it on it. I was like, oh, my two favorite were More and Rob. And I'm like. Or Ron. Sorry. More. And Ron. I'm like, both of them a comedian and Irish, so you should have me. I loved Ron. Ron was. I love how afterwards he was like, the Internet diagnosed me with autistic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they were right.

[A]

Yep. Nailed it. Ron is such a nice guy.

[C]

Oh, he came across so nice. And I think he. He definitely experienced racism on it.

[D]

Right.

[C]

I think one of the characters said something racist to him and they didn't include that in the show.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[C]

Yeah. So he was kind of.

[A]

I'm loving watching him tour now and like just on everybody.

[C]

Yeah, he's great. And I love that he was in that Eric Guys music video.

[A]

What did he say about. Was one of the. The chicks on the show? He's a He keeps calling her a big booty black girl.

[C]

He goes, oh, Portia, I have.

[F]

I have that.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Can you play? It really made me laugh.

[C]

Portia, she seemed nice.

[A]

She seems sweet.

[G]

Beautiful, big booty black lady

[A]

named after

[G]

a car, which is always a sign of class. And she seemed nice, but I thought she was a traitor because she kept saying things like, I'm a traitor.

[C]

She literally goes, I killed that guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh, I like murdering. And I was like, okay, all right. This seems suspicious.

[A]

And this is. Pause real quick. This is one of the great. I wish I didn't curse as much as I do on stage, because when a comic who doesn't curse curses, it's such a fucking great boom. Like, there's a line in a John Panett album where he says, fuck once, and it's like the club explodes, and Ron does it here to bring this

[G]

up to the group. So I did. I was like, I think Ford Focus is a traitor.

[C]

Focus.

[G]

And they're like, that's good evidence, Rob. We think she a traitor, too. Let's vote her out. But it turned out she wasn't a traitor. She was just dumb as

[D]

fire.

[G]

And I'm not trying to be rude. It's just that she was, like, so dumb that later the Internet was like, you didn't know that she was that dumb? I was like, this is a known entity.

[A]

You can pause it. Yeah. If you really want to loot. It's such a good show.

[C]

And that one's amaz. There was one part where he was like, I think Moore is a traitor because I hear light footsteps. And she's like, well, I'll take it as a compliment. I guess you're calling me skinny.

[A]

It's just such a. And then Alan coming is maybe the most charming.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Gay man.

[C]

His hair was ridiculous on the last episode.

[A]

Yeah, he's just having fun, man.

[C]

He looked like. Like. What was it someone said on the Internet? He looked like when you mess up when you cut up your Barbie's hair.

[A]

Yeah, I love him. All right, so we're gonna play a little game today. We are gonna play our own version of Celebrity. We each have some pieces of paper that we're gonna hold up on our forehead, and we're each going to be a different comic. And so, Shannon, could you please turn off the monitor so we can't see the screen?

[F]

And then I'm just gonna say before anybody touches anything, and in case anybody hasn't played the game before, it's just, like, headbands. And so you're gonna hold up the paper writing, facing everybody else. So you're not gonna see what's on the paper. And everyone else has to guess.

[A]

Okay. Can you turn off the monitor so we can.

[D]

Comics, like In Our Realm or, like, comics. Any comic.

[A]

Shan. Any comic. Or comics In Our Realm. Any comic. Okay. And it's. So we're gonna go around the table, and we each can ask one yes or no question as we go around. So take up your first one.

[C]

Oh, wait, I don't. Don't look in the reflection of the tv.

[A]

I'm not.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

No, but me. Sorry, I'm talking to myself.

[A]

You're good. So I will start.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Am I a man?

[D]

No.

[C]

No.

[D]

Am I a woman?

[A]

No.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Am I a man?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Am I fat?

[D]

Nope. Am I a New York City comedian?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Am I a New York City comedian?

[A]

Formerly.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

Am I under 40?

[C]

Nope.

[D]

Am I. Am I a clean. Am I a dirty comedian?

[C]

Yes. Yeah, I know this one fact. Am I. Am I younger? Am I over 30?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm a woman, right?

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, Beck, I forget, am I a woman?

[A]

No.

[D]

All right, Sorry. Thank you.

[A]

And what do we. I asked, Was I under 40?

[C]

Over 40?

[A]

I'm a woman over 40. Okay. Am I Amy Schumer?

[D]

Nope. Nope. Am I black?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay. Am I black?

[A]

Nope. Am I an la comedian?

[D]

Nope. Do I have a netflix special?

[A]

No.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Do I have a netflix special?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Wait, I forget. I'm white. A man. Netflix special. Used to be in new york, now in la. I'm obviously very white since you guys went.

[D]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Do I have a netflix special?

[D]

Nope. So I don't have a netflix special. Am I a touring headliner?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Can I guess?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Am I crystalia?

[D]

Nope.

[A]

No woman over 40? Am I a lesbian?

[D]

Nope. So I'm a guy. Am I a comedian and am I over 40? Okay.

[C]

I don't know who has netflix specials. Have I done a don't tell?

[F]

No.

[A]

This is harder than I thought.

[D]

I know it's funny, but it's funny because I'm looking at your guys. I'm like, duh.

[A]

I'm a woman over 40, not a lesbian. Did I have a sitcom?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Am I. Am I married?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Am I, like, popular now or a husband?

[A]

Popular now.

[D]

Popular now. Yeah.

[C]

I am popular now.

[A]

Yes. Have I been in a famous couple with another comedian?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You know who have I been in a famous couple with? Another comedian?

[A]

No.

[D]

Good.

[C]

Have I been in a famous couple?

[A]

No. Am I Bonnie?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well done.

[D]

Okay. Am I fat?

[A]

Formerly.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Oops. I only remember Ms. Fat. Okay, I need to make guesses. I'm LA. I have a Netflix special. I'm over 40 and I'm popular now. Am I alive?

[D]

Yes. All right. Am I Bobby Kelly?

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah. I'll do one more question and then I don't get. He can tell me because I'll never get a fat.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I was thinking.

[A]

I was trying to be.

[C]

I know it's not Colin Quinn. I was thinking him. But he's based in New York, so it can't be him. I don't know who's based in la.

[A]

You're gay?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh. Oh. He. He just got the hair transplant. Oh, no. I'm gay.

[D]

You have a popular podcast.

[C]

I have a popular podcast. I'm white.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm gay and white.

[D]

I have a popular podcast. I don't.

[A]

Let me tell you things about Hillary Clinton.

[C]

I don't know. Who is it? I'm really bad at these games. I don't know anybody.

[D]

Who is it?

[A]

Tim Dillon.

[C]

Oh, I would not. I got that.

[D]

Yeah, that was a good one.

[A]

This is kind of fun.

[D]

That's fire.

[C]

I know. I love it.

[A]

All right, we'll do one more.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay, guys.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Here, Mattie, you start this.

[D]

Am I a man?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Am I a man?

[A]

Yes. Am I a man?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Am I black?

[A]

New.

[C]

Am I black?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, But I'm not white.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Am I a New York comic?

[D]

Yes. Yeah. Am I a New York comic?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Am I near your comic?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Do I have a podcast?

[D]

Yep. Am I. Am I married?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Am I over 40?

[A]

Yes. Do I have a kid?

[D]

Yep. Yeah. Am I a clean comedian?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh. Am I at the Cellar?

[A]

No. Do I say comedy?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Fuck, dude. Do I have a podcast?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Am I Luis Gomez?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I taught him originally.

[A]

When you were Louis J. Gomez.

[D]

Louis Jay. Do I have a special on YouTube?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Joe List.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Fire. Fire.

[F]

Fire.

[D]

Fire.

[A]

That. We got our legs under us, Shannon. We gotta keep that as a segment every once in a while. That was very, very fun.

[C]

That was fun.

[A]

Thank you, ladies.

[D]

Fire.

[A]

All right, we're gonna keep moving on.

[D]

I had to think of if Lewis was black.

[A]

All right. Yeah.

[C]

You both went, eh. And then I was like. I immediately went, I think this is Louis Gomez.

[A]

Technically, no. But actions wise, yes.

[C]

He thinks he can say the N word.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Oh, no. He can say it's not acceptable. It comes out of his mouth.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

All right, what else do we got? Some fun shit. Today. All right, if you could turn the monitor back on. This is fast food. CEOs having to eat their own food.

[D]

Hell, yeah. I'm. I like the Red Lobster CEO. He's turned that place around. Well, you can eat shrimp.

[A]

Well, that's what put him out of business.

[D]

Oh. But then he came in and he came in and fixed things up, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they went. They went bankrupt because so many people were eating all the shrimp.

[D]

Right.

[A]

A lot of community college graduations.

[D]

Yeah. Literally.

[A]

All right, with. You've heard about it. Here it is, the big arch. This is something that we have tested already in Portugal, Germany, Canada. It's a new McDonald's burger. It is so good. I'm gonna do a tasting right now, but I'm gonna eat this for my lunch, just so you know. So here we go first.

[B]

Holy cow.

[A]

God, that is a big burger.

[D]

I haven't heard of this.

[A]

Got a very unique poppy sort of bun on it. We've got two. It's kind of a mix between a Big Mac and the Arch Deluxe, which was what they had when we were kids.

[D]

Oh, I know.

[A]

I heard these, so. Oh, there's so much going on with this. First of all, let's try to get fire, bro.

[D]

They got the. Everything.

[C]

I. I zoned out, and then I looked up, and we were watching burgers, and I feel like I just missed,

[D]

like, the CEO of McDonald's eating his own.

[A]

All right. The moment of truth.

[D]

He's like, all right. He probably only eats grain balls.

[B]

That is so good.

[D]

It's like when hot influencers eat for a big arch.

[A]

He took so little of a bite.

[D]

Yeah. He's like, oh, my God.

[A]

And it's filling, too.

[C]

They should have put some. Some, like, I get rosacea, so I feel for him, but they should have put some makeup on him because it's not a. To be going red as you're eating your own burger.

[A]

No, it's not a great.

[D]

Do you know what I mean?

[C]

Like, and I suffer with that, so I get it.

[A]

My mom has rosacea, too.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I made it sound like a real disease there, but, like. Yeah, but, you know, you. You don't want to have the red burger.

[D]

Looks fire. He definitely didn't eat the whole thing, though.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Is that him as well?

[A]

No, this is a different one.

[D]

This is. This looks better. Whoever. Burger King.

[A]

Shannon.

[F]

Yes. It's Burger King.

[D]

I like Burger king more than McDonald's.

[C]

Me too. I like Burger King. I haven't eaten McDonald's.

[D]

It's been a minute.

[C]

Forever.

[D]

It's been a minute. It's a better bike.

[A]

Better bike.

[C]

And he's so. More like down to earth.

[A]

Something missing.

[D]

Funny guy.

[C]

He's great.

[D]

Funny guy alert.

[C]

And they put makeup on him.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Much better way.

[D]

McDonald's.

[C]

When I was like, McDonald's is.

[D]

Are you sick, brother?

[C]

They're so silly. Billy. I like Burger King.

[A]

Burger King. The Whopper is probably a better.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Meat.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

I don't like any of them, to be honest. I'd rather. This is ridiculous. But I'd. I'd rather go to like, you know, like a. Oh, like 7th Street Burger or like. Or Bear Burger. We can get some like funky cheese.

[A]

Well, Bear Burger catered my wedding, so.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Really?

[C]

Because I. I also.

[A]

Burger wedding. We put it on the invitation.

[D]

That's great.

[A]

The RSVP was if you can come. And if you're coming, do you want a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a turkey burger or a veggie burger?

[C]

See, it's so great. They really do have something for everybody.

[D]

I do like Bear Burger and they've.

[A]

And they had Brussels sprouts as a side. So we got fries and Brussels sprouts for people that didn't want fries.

[C]

Was it expensive to have them cater your wedding?

[A]

It was awesome. It was more than half less than what anyone quoted us.

[C]

That's amazing.

[D]

Some caterer with fucking fish and chicken.

[A]

And every caterer started us. I think think their low plan was like 70 something a person.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think Bear Burger did us for under 30 a person.

[C]

I went and they're so excited.

[A]

And they showed up with staff with the food on sternos and everyone. Like, that's a complaint. Because you know what? When you open bar. Because open bar was very important.

[D]

Yes. Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

After people had a few cocktails, Bear Burger came out. Not a complaint in the house.

[C]

Hot is the best wedding ever. Yeah.

[A]

Not a complaint. And we had a candy bar on the way out.

[C]

Fire.

[A]

So we got all our favorite candies. They put like in a buffet style thing. And as you walked out, you got a big goodie bag and you got to fill it out. Fill it on the way out. And the last thing you got was a can of A and W cream soda and a shot of Fireball.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Delish.

[A]

Yeah. Great day. Great day for him. And DJ was informed not to play any songs after 1989.

[D]

Yeah. Fire. That's the best.

[A]

Only 70s and 80s music. Absolute winner.

[D]

Great.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What was your first dance song?

[A]

Ramones. Baby, I love you.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

And Then our last song at the end was Weird Al's Yoda, and everyone sang and it was the best.

[D]

That's fire.

[C]

That was so fun.

[A]

So, yes, I will agree there's something comforting about a Big Mac, but three bites into it, you're over it.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Well, I had had a mother with severe untreated mental health issues. Also, she's just a bit of a cunt. But, yeah, I'd say if she had it, treated it, she'd still be a cunt. But are we. Let's say cunt?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

But. So she would always, like, lose jobs or. If she had money, she would spend it on things, presents for people. So we'd have no money for food, but she'd collect the, like, coupons. So then we go to McDonald's and she'd eat, like. She'd get us, like, three or four Big Macs in a row to eat. Like, obviously we'd be very hungry, but we'd eat it. But. So, Yeah, I think McDonald's reminds me of, like, when you're like, kind of. You've no money and you're like, my

[A]

wife has that issue with cold cuts.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, because I love. I'll. I am very. I love. I'll get a pound of turkey, pound of cheese and rolls. And I'm like, now I'm set for, like, two or three days. My wife, there's something about that. She's like, no, that's. That's what we ate when we were broke. Yeah, same with hot dogs. She's like, that's what we ate when my mom didn't have money.

[C]

Yeah, you're just tasting the misery. Yeah, but, but, but what's the other one called?

[D]

Burger King.

[C]

My dad, when he would take. He would always bring me to Burger King. So for me, it has, like a. A different. It's like love elevation, sane parents. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

For me, it's the breakfast. And Burger King does have good breakfast items, but there's nothing like McGriddle.

[D]

Oh, McGriddle.

[A]

I think we've talked about untouchable. Yeah, it's untouchable.

[D]

Oh, I've definitely got, like, pancakes. This is Burger king buns with McDonald's shots of cereal.

[A]

The best thing Burger King ever had was the French toast dippers.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Also, Burger King, I don't feel like has ever had a controversy. I've never seen anyone say boycott Burger King. Now that I think about it, I've seen everything else, but I feel like they've never had anything Controversial, right?

[A]

Not that I know of.

[D]

Probably have. They probably slammed unions down and.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure they have some type of health. I'm sure they had some type of E. Coli.

[C]

That's like, with Dunkin Donuts. I'm like, don't tell me, because I love Dunkin Donuts. I was like, they support immigrants because they like.

[A]

48 ounce. Janet, can you bring up the new 48 ounce drinks that Dunkin Donuts is testing?

[D]

Oh, I saw those. The bucket of coffee.

[A]

Dude, it looks so. Like a real day.

[C]

Their hash browns are so good.

[A]

They are very.

[C]

I lived off those when I first came over.

[A]

Duncan is testing a new size drink that is literally a bucket.

[D]

It's called the truck.

[C]

Oh, yeah. But looks like everybody's gonna have kidney disease if you're drinking that much in a. Oh, yeah. But in fairness, their coffees and tea is great.

[D]

Huge 10 bucks.

[C]

Is that the green thing?

[D]

Complain.

[C]

Oh, off that. Which is. Put that in your fridge and drink it for the week. Right.

[A]

It's got a straw in it.

[C]

You can't drink a bucket of iced coffee. You will get kidney disease.

[D]

I'll take two.

[A]

I was gonna say fill that sucker up with Try.

[D]

Try latte for me when I foam on top.

[A]

Yeah, I'm moving.

[C]

When I did my citizenship test, your man who was interviewing me, he was. He was like. He was pretty sound, but he was, like, just talking about how. He was like, oh, you've lost weight since your original photo.

[D]

Which I was like, oh, my God.

[C]

But I was like, oh, when I first moved here, I just. I was eating, like, loads of. Of, like, fries and stuff. And it's obviously very different at home, so. But, you know, now I'm just a bit healthier. And he was like, well, you'll. You'll live 10 years longer in Europe. The food is way better. Then I was like, is this like a trick or a trap? And I was like, well, it's okay. I found Trader Joe's. But I was like, is he trying to find out if I. I'm really loyal to America, but, you know, yeah, you guys, citizenship. I don't even know if you do live less than Europe, though. I don't know if he was just trying to entrap.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm sure there's probably some statistics. At least the men.

[C]

It's hard. I feel sorry for America, though. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but your United States is huge. So trying to compare between, like, Ireland or England or France Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You should compare Ireland to like Texas.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Ireland to like New York, the one state. There's too much going on because New York, Ireland's are like democratic socialist country. So it's more comparable to New York.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then Texas is like nowhere in Europe. I don't know what that would be compared to.

[D]

There's too much going on here.

[C]

Yeah. And you're so different from states, like different countries.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then at home, people will be like, americans don't know geography. Americans don't know. And that's like the classic you're loud. I. I think the loud is funny. So I don't mind that, that you don't know geography. But then I'm like, yeah, well, yeah, that is that stereotype too. But the jaggery thing is a bit annoying because it's a big country and if you. A lot of people can't even afford to travel, so how would they know? Like, why would they. Also at the same time, when I didn't know where Iowa was until I moved here, so, like, I still don't. Yeah.

[A]

So it's been there.

[C]

Yeah. I just, I feel like that's a little.

[D]

There's a lot of stuff they say from their little, tiny. Little tiny island.

[C]

Yeah. And like some of the. Look, some of it's completely fair and justified when it's like, like, you know, plus the map. We're bombing the Middle East.

[D]

I know.

[A]

The map we're taught is not in perspective.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, the sizes of the countries are so much different than they look on the flat map that we learned.

[C]

We all have different maps.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And I just said Middle east, but apparently we're not even meant to say that because that's not what they say there.

[D]

Because what do they say now?

[C]

Well, I don't know.

[D]

It's like third world versus developing countries.

[C]

No, you're definitely not going to say that. Well, because if you say Middle east, it's in relation to Europe and America, so it's centering the two Western worlds. Yeah. So you're like, not meant to.

[A]

And I've been told Third world country, you're not allowed to say anymore. Now you say developing nation. And the difference between a developing nation and whatever you would call a second world country is in a developing nation, you can't drink the water.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Well, when I was in Detroit, I was in a developing nation.

[A]

Certainly were. Shannon, can you find possibly. And we'll end soon, a accurately distributed map where you see how much different the sizes of the country I'd Love to see that. If you look at what we were taught and then how big certain countries actually are.

[C]

And my map is probably different to your map. Yeah, I would have gotten, like, the. Yeah. European version.

[A]

Basically, the map.

[C]

Ireland's in the middle.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're all the Middle east to us, Middle West.

[A]

The map. We're taught, America looks much different in perspective to South America. Kind of. But it's also the placement of everything is way off.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Does that make sense? Shannon, am I asking you a thing that makes sense, or am I being.

[F]

No, I'm. My brain's spinning right now. I don't know how to. Like. I don't quite understand what you're doing.

[C]

Can you look up? Accurate map.

[A]

Accurate map perspective.

[C]

I think that's the one I put.

[F]

Accurate, accurate US Map.

[C]

You have no wrinkles on your forehead. Do you get Botox?

[D]

It looks so good and smooth as.

[F]

Oh, you guys are lovely. I love you both.

[C]

Is that natural?

[F]

Yeah, I don't. I can't afford Botox.

[C]

Starting to get. I'm never gonna get Botox.

[D]

I'm starting to get everything.

[C]

Are you sure?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Thanks.

[A]

Accurate world map perspective.

[C]

Especially when I'm spending, like, so much money on my cats and ridiculous things, literally. That's better than Facebook ads. Yeah.

[F]

Who's going to show you what's coming? Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. No, that works.

[F]

Tell me if something that does not

[C]

look like a map that I've seen. Yes.

[A]

Right. Oh, give us that third one from the top.

[F]

This one?

[A]

Yeah. So this is an accurate map.

[C]

I'm confused. I've lost my country. I've lost my country.

[D]

I see. I see, I see.

[C]

Oh, I see. It's over in the left, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't that crazy?

[C]

Africa's fucking huge.

[D]

Massive.

[A]

And I think the map we're given is to make America kind of look like the center of the world, and then Europe and then Russia and China. Like, basically, we're taught to look at it one way, when in reality, like, look at Africa and look at America.

[C]

I guess when it does come to the geography thing, though, I have heard a lot of Americans say, like, I just want to go to Africa, not realizing that it's like, a continent and there's all these countries. So that's. Yeah, that's. Usually. I don't really mind when they don't know about Europe, but I'm like, I don't think they realize how big Africa is.

[D]

Huge.

[A]

I didn't realize. I learned a lot from my times in Europe, where I'm like, oh, this is like going state to state, where you're like, just. I can just get on a train and I'm there in a couple hours.

[C]

I had a friend, and I swear to God this is true. I'll just tell you who it is because it's given her a plug. But you know Tori Piskin.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

So when we were younger. This is probably like nine or ten years ago. So I said at the time, I really liked. Who's the guy from South Africa? Blanking on him.

[D]

Elon Musk.

[C]

Trevor Noah is that same. And I was like, oh, have you heard of Trevor Noah? He's so good. And she goes, oh, well, did you see him, like, performing in Ireland? And I was like, what do you mean? She was like, oh, did you see him when you were there? Because you're so close to South Africa.

[D]

No way.

[C]

Swear my life. You're so close to South Africa.

[A]

Those two things don't sound close to me at all.

[D]

Hilarious.

[A]

They make two different kinds of people.

[D]

Multiple connecting flights.

[C]

I know. And then she said. I said something about when we. This is recently, though. That was a long time. Recently. She's been to Ireland. And I said something like, oh, near the sea. And she was like, what do you mean, the sea? And I was like, ireland's an island. It's surrounded by water. And she was like, what? And I was like, tori, you had to fly over water to get into Ireland. I don't understand.

[D]

Hilarious.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, she's gas.

[D]

Hilarious.

[A]

Well, I think the most important thing that I took from Ireland is clean drugs. Clean drugs. And everyone had them.

[C]

What's clean drugs? Oh, no.

[A]

Fetamine, fentanyl.

[C]

Fentanyl. What's a fetafine?

[D]

Amphetamine.

[A]

You put ketamine and sentinel together. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid while I was there.

[C]

Yeah, you don't want the cat being there.

[A]

That was. That was a harrowing evening.

[C]

You had cat in Ireland? Yeah, yeah. A lot of people do. Cat.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I couldn't believe how much. I went to a billiards place in London and everyone just had bags of coke out.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah, well, yeah, coke's a big.

[D]

I couldn't find weed when I was there.

[C]

Really?

[A]

I think that might be. So it was crazy in Amsterdam. All the American weed was more expensive now because our weed got better than theirs.

[C]

That does actually make sense about the weed, though. If you wanted coke, it'd be easier to get coke.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Everyone.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Had a bed. It was fucking bonkers.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Did not care for the nightlife scene in London, a little hooligany for me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of fighting everywhere, and that makes me nervous.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. There would be a lot of fighting, too, in Ireland when I was young, at the, like, discos and stuff. But they just. They'd just be like, now it's time to fight adrenaline.

[D]

There's men.

[A]

I also made the mistake of trying to order a Jack Daniels.

[C]

Oh, and that's bad.

[A]

In Scotland. And they treated me like the biggest piece of.

[C]

They're wrong. Because firstly, a lot of. In Scotland, they don't have Jameson, which is a great whiskey. And so they would offer me Jack Daniels instead, because I don't like Scotch. So I feel like they were just being mean to you because you have an American accent, because they were nicely offering me Jack Daniels, and that was infringe.

[A]

I prefer bourbon. Incredible. I was so mad in Toronto because you couldn't get. Because of the fucking tariffs, I had to get Scotch. And I was furious.

[C]

For all your Republican listeners. Seriously, lads. I ordered a wedding dress from Koskova, but if I had ordered it before. But now there's a huge tariff and, well, I don't know why you don't get this. I'm paying the 30% tariff. Me, the consumer, not the person who's making the wedding dress. Anyway, so thanks. He's owe me 30%.

[A]

All right, you guys, remember that tanks. You owe it 30%.

[D]

New York Governor might give us refunds for.

[C]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna. I'm gonna email Kathy Hoga. She seems sound. I'm gonna be like, excuse me, Can I have 400?

[A]

Can I have my 30%, please? All right, thank you, guys. That's our show today. Please support Maddie Smith and the Madhouse podcast. Please support Katie Boyle and the Shift podcast. Go see them live. Because they are incredibly funny and talented comedians. And thank you so much for your time today, guys. And we will catch you on Friday's bonus episode here on the old morning zoo.

[B]

The fun's begun no sleeping in Noon is morning time to him Papa may go Chug it down Just like the favorite obese clown Grab a coffee and join the crew It's Akamiko morning, too It's Akamiko Morning 2.