A (1:48)

So when you're working in front of other comedians, you must get that heightened sense of like, you do.

B (1:52)

Yeah. Or any other performance.

A (1:53)

Does that throw you off?

B (1:54)

Even I don't know if it throws down. I'm an old bastard, but, like, I try to get in there. Yeah, I am. I'm older than you, as I'm older. But I've gotten better, calmed down, and performing at any level of who's out there. As you know, when Queen came, or Rodster, Elton John, whoever comes show. You're like, oh, man. If you ever think it, you kind of, I don't know, it's just so you just. I just do. Do my show. Don't think about who's out there. And then it usually works out for the best.

A (2:20)

But isn't it funny? Like, obviously I'm not doing bits, but you know, you do something, like for my case, it'd be something on the guitar, you think? I bet Rod Stewart thought that was good.

B (2:30)

Yeah, yeah, you do that.

A (2:31)

Weird.

B (2:31)

No, I do. I know.

A (2:32)

I.

B (2:32)

Last night I had a bunch of comics in the room and I, and I did, I mean I did a really, it was a couple really good stand up jokes. It wasn't a prop. One was a good prop. It was a brand new, you know, P. Diddy joke and I finally. It just leveled. But. And there was just one in particular, like a stand up joke. And I could hear them, you know, comics always, ah, so comics laugh, right? They don't laugh, they just go, ah. That's how comics, they don't really laugh. No. Okay.

A (2:56)

Is it a recognition?

B (2:57)

No. Yeah, yeah. Any comic, they always go, eh. And then that means they liked it and that means they're probably gonna steal it from me. No, most comics don't. Like, if you do like Jalen or Bill Maher or anybody you do a thing to. Now Bill Maher will laugh because he's stoned, he's out of his mind, high as a kite. So he's, he's a good audience. He'll laugh at him. But you know how he would be like, you know, they just, you know, Jay Leno, I'd say, like, I'd say something like, you know, so you're triggering

A (3:24)

a memory because I once got in a fight with Jerry Seinfeld over professional wrestling.

B (3:27)

Oh, no.

A (3:28)

I was at a private dinner. It was Gwyneth Paltrow, Jerry Seinfeld and some other people. And you know, it's just one of those New York dinners where you're just next to somebody who isn't necessarily interested in you, but they know you're famous. And of course I know who Jerry Seinfeld is. So at some point somebody brought up my interest in professional wrestling and he goes my. Into professional wrestling. And we got in this argument at the table over, over it and I basically bested.

B (3:55)

Punched him.

A (3:55)

Well, no, I mean, I'm not a, I'm not a wallflower. And you know, I have some level of verbal acumen and I, I basically kind of, I, for lack of better word, I ran circles around him because he thought his take on wrestling was very, like, you know, the typical American version.

B (4:10)

Right.

A (4:11)

And I gave a very historical kind of rendering of the whole thing. So fast forward, I'm at the Indy 500. I got the pit pass. I'm all important. I'm walking. Here comes Jerry Seinfeld, and he looks at me, goes, ah. Like, guys like you back here, huh?

B (4:25)

You know what I mean? Yeah. So when you say, that triggers. Yeah, yeah. Usually they just laugh. They come and says. But that's in the back of the room at a comedy club. You just hear. Because that's comics laughing. Because people say to me, like, that was funny. I said, no. Or you say, oh, that's funny. And they said, we didn't laugh. I'm like, no, that's how I. That's funny.

A (4:45)

So full disclosure.

B (4:46)

But I laugh. I just watched George Cronin on the plane, and I was laughing out loud when my head. I was. Jesus. I mean, it was just a. It was a great bit. You ever notice how many stupid people there are on the planet? I mean, stupid people. And it just goes on. You can sit there and you look, you start talking to the guy. You're like, this guy's. How he does it. It's just brilliant. And then there's people that are full of. He does that whole. He looks into it for a minute, and all of a sudden you just go, this guy's full of. And it's just a brilliant bit. It's just brilliant.

A (5:15)

So he got a laugh?

B (5:16)

Yeah, he got a laugh.

A (5:17)

Yeah.

B (5:17)

I didn't. I didn't go, eh.

A (5:18)

I was like, I was gonna ask you this later, but I'm gonna ask you it now. So to your point is, I've known a few professional comedians in my life, and, you know, I like to think I'm a little funny.

B (5:30)

But you are funny.

A (5:31)

Well, thank you. Professionally endorsed. But the thing is, is when you make a joke around a professional comedian, they tend not to laugh.

B (5:40)

Yes, well, right.

A (5:42)

Because I made one joke to you the other day, and you went like,

B (5:45)

no, I was probably thinking when you did it, I said, I'm thinking a good bit. Yeah, usually. Honestly, I'm not a joke. I think comics never really enjoy anything. They just. They observe, and then they write it down as soon as they can write it down.

A (5:56)

Well, there is that rep that most comedians are miserable, and they use comedy as some way to interface with the world. I'm not asking. No, but, I mean, I don't see you that way.

B (6:05)

Oh, I'm not, though. But there are a lot of friends of mine that are miserable people. They are. And there was. Funny, you say Seinfeld. There was a thing just literally last night on. Him and Jim Gaffigan were on a little panel thing, and he was talking exactly about that. He said, my kids ask me all the time, does anything make you happy? Because he's just, you know, at Seinfeld and he's one of his kids. And he said, it was in the car and the couple didn't work. He's just cranky, wants to go, do you really like your job? And so, yeah, I don't know. I've never had that issue. When Robin Williams passed away, everyone in the world reached out to me, like, everyone.

A (6:40)

To get your comment.

B (6:42)

Not only get my, you know, did I know him, but they wanted to know, are all comedians sad and miserable people because of what. Right. And I said, no, everyone's different. And he was also battling some health issues. So it wasn't. He had a lot of things going on. I had met him, and he was very, very sweet and very funny and very everything. But no, not. Not every comic is a miserable. You know, people say that probably about, you know, musicians, too. Are they ever in a good. You know, they're on stage, they're not nice after off stage. I don't know. This is a Persona with every kind of people.

A (7:12)

Well, if there's a common. If there's a commonality with musicians, is that they're sociopaths. So I don't. Is there a common psychological.

B (7:22)

They're probably comics. Absolutely. There's some psychological thing.

A (7:25)

I mean, is there a word for it?

B (7:27)

We're just nuts. But, you know, it's like. But you're right. Comics are always just thinking a bit. No matter what is happening in a comics day, from lunch to end to whatever, he's thinking of a bit.

A (7:41)

Okay.

B (7:41)

And that's true for any comic.

A (7:43)

So I thought, to start here, in personal life, do you prefer to be called Scott or Carrot Top?

B (7:51)

I like Queen Latifah, but I bet it's been taken.

A (7:54)

Why do I feel you've used that bit before?

B (7:56)

Was it too good?

A (7:57)

It was too good.

B (7:58)

It was too quick. It was too rehearsed. It was too rehearsed. It was too crisp. I love Scott, you know, and now that I, you know, I've been Scott my whole life. But I remember, you know, before the Internet and all that, you know, Scott. Then I got, you know, I picked Scott Thompson, and there was a Scott Thompson. Kids of the hall. Scott Thompson. And I said, well, I want to. Well, I knew him, but I said, also, I can't be Scott Thompson. That's not a show business. I came. Hey, you know, just Carrot Top came out of the. So I could have done the thing

A (8:27)

where they added an initial, like, Scott.

B (8:29)

Scott C. I'm a Scott Christopher Thompson. I could have. But for some reason, I was thinking, like a brand and a thing I didn't want to be. I wanted to be something like I always thought the Rolling Stones tongue and the Grateful Dead stealer. I wanted to be, like, literally like a brand. And I thought, I don't know if it's Carrington. I did it. And one of my favorite things ever happened with being as a brand and what you call it. I was on an airplane, and when we boarded the middle. So when I came up to sit down, the guy of me was already sitting, and there was this. All I saw was this big, big thing of hair and a ball cap. And for. I don't know, it was just an hour flight. I literally kept saying, that looks like Stephen Wright. Just the back of his head. You know, I didn't know it was. That looks like Stephen Wright. And we land and bong. And he gets up and he looks right at me. Jesus. I said, I thought that was you from. I can even know what you look from the back of your head. And he just kind of. You know, he's beyond one of my favorite people as far as comic.

A (9:27)

He was funny.

B (9:28)

He's still good. And I just said, oh, my God. Like. And he goes, hey, how are you? And he's just like that in real life. And I. It's not a character. So he said, hey, what, do you have a show here? And I said, yeah. He says, yeah, I have a show here, too. And I said, you want to grab a cup of coffee or a drink or a bite to eat? And he said, I'd love that. Where you. Where are you playing? I'm at the MGM Grand. And he said, you're under. Is it Scott? I said, scott Thompson? He goes, yeah. I said, but I'm under an alias. And he said, you are an alias. It's brilliant. He said, I just call your room. And I said, yeah, but I'm under an alias. And he says, you are an alias. And I said, I am an alias. And he was quick. He didn't rehearse that. He says, he's brilliant. Brilliant mind. But that's because the Internet, they put out Scott Thompson. And I'm like, oh, people are going to go look up Scott Thompson. So I just checked in under. The old joke is, I check under you. So no one wouldn't bother me. No one called me. That's the old joke.

A (10:27)

Okay, here's where we get theoretical.

B (10:29)

Okay?

A (10:29)

I guarantee you no one's ever taking you down this particular path.

B (10:32)

Shut. Here we go.

A (10:34)

Well, see, you're a comedian. You can joke your way out of whatever I ask you. You see. Are you familiar with the. You know, in the world of symbols and avatars and mythological characters, are you aware of the harlequin character or the Pierrot character?

B (10:50)

A harlequin? Yeah.

A (10:51)

Yeah. To me, it took me a hot second because we just met recently, but I think that's your archetype, and I think that's where people don't understand. Let's call it the real brilliance of your comedy. People tend to go to the easy part. So when they sort of throw out he's a prop comedian, which to me sounds like a weird slur. I don't know enough about comedy, but I feel like you're way more than that guy.

B (11:16)

Well, I am, and I appreciate. But what's funny is I've never been offended, really, by when someone says a prop comic until if they do not describe it that particular way, like you're saying, so we had a. Comics. I told you last night, we had some comics at the show, and it was the first. Literally, the first thing out of this guy's mouth is like, holy. You don't even do props. Like, I do props. You saw the show. But I do it about 40 minutes out of the hour and something maybe more than that now. Just stand up, pure stand up. I don't. I don't grab a prop for over 40 minutes, and I just do, like, stand up and stories. And he was blown away. He says, I've never seen you that side of you. But you know what? Sorry. Sorry.

A (11:52)

But I think part of that is, is when I saw you a lot on tv. You know, when you were on TV a lot. Well, you. You. You had three minutes.

B (12:00)

That's exactly right.

A (12:01)

So it was a lot of, like,

B (12:02)

I would beg them to let me to a story, and they said, no, you're Carrot Top. You got to do the. You got to do the stuff.

A (12:06)

So. So when I saw you the other night in Vegas, I didn't know you had this other gear, because I'd never seen it.

B (12:12)

Right, right.

A (12:13)

So I was like, holy.

B (12:14)

Yeah. There is a whole other guy.

A (12:16)

This guy's funny because to me, bits are bits.

B (12:20)

Sure.

A (12:20)

It's like, there's a cleverness to it. In music, we call it gags. You know, like, you know, I'm the guy who does this gag or whatever. I'm not saying Eddie Van Halen. I'm saying, you know, there's people have gags, Right?

B (12:32)

Sure.

A (12:33)

People, like, in free market capitalist societies, they look for an advantage. I'm the guy who, you know, I stand on my head and play the guitar.

B (12:39)

Right, exactly.

A (12:41)

So in my. In my. In a sense, I thought that was your thing, Right. You were that guy. Like, you know, Gallagher was one of your heroes, and we'll talk about him in a second. But, you know, I saw enough of him on PBS or wherever they were to show him. I knew he was more than the guy. Just a watermelon.

B (13:00)

You knew he was a funny guy. I've been trying really, really hard now that I'm in this stage of my career, to put out something, whether it be a documentary style or even doing these shows, like these podcasts, is to show the other side. Because I've always.

A (13:12)

I literally have a note here that you should do a documentary.

B (13:14)

Yeah, we're. We're talking about it. And, like, seriously talking about. Absolutely. Yeah.

A (13:20)

I want to be in your documentary.

B (13:21)

Oh, you. You will be. I'm. I'm making this.

A (13:23)

Maybe I can even, like, write a theme song or something.

B (13:27)

Yeah. How about.

A (13:28)

That's your singing voice.

B (13:29)

Unbelievable.

A (13:33)

Auto tune. We'll just.

B (13:34)

We'll get there. I can do. I can do, like, country, you know, and I. I'll sing country songs, be like, damn, you're pretty good singer. I'm like, yeah, because I'm just doing that, you know, you do the dope V's voice and do the thing. But I don't have a. I don't have a voice, you know, but every comic can sing to a degree, right? Okay. Like, you have to sing to a degree. Right. Every comic would do, like a. Which brings me up. I should. I should. I should tell you can tell you something about musical like Gene Simmons. So I met Gene many years ago, and I believe I was at the porn convention. I was. I was a presenter.

A (14:03)

You didn't want to be there.

B (14:04)

But I didn't. And I. I really didn't. And it said, you know, best. Best.

A (14:07)

You know, how do I know? It's called the AVNs.

B (14:09)

AVN. Yes. Right. Because you creep, too. So it's so AVNs. I go up there and I'm. I'm literally presenting.

A (14:16)

Sorry.

B (14:17)

You know who I.

A (14:17)

The joke is still you know who I

B (14:20)

and who I bring up is the. Is I did cocaine. I did cocaine on a plane. Was the, the, the. The band that's a big hit. I did cocaine on our plant. You know, the guy weighs 80 pounds. I'm saying, I'm like, oh my God. I bring him up. And then they like, ah, they do this song, they bring me up and I, I do my bit. And I literally said, you know, best, best anal. You know, Susan and the family's like, oh my God, we're so proud of you. Our daughter. And I was like, this is like real, right? Seriously. And I'm like, God, my birth's so proud of her daughter. She's got best anal. And I'm making kind of a joke about it. And then Gene Simmons comes by and he's like, he says, you know, we're filming his show and he says, you are very funny because I don't know. And I said, do you have a show tonight? And I said, yeah. And he says, do you mind if I come? I said, no, how many you want to come? He's like, I have my. Look at my crew. And I said, well, I don't. We're not gonna be able to get the whole crew. Couldn't they film? And I said, well, I don't know. I asked my people, I said, gene Simmons wants to film the show. And I had a whole kiss bit in the show which he didn't even wasn't aware of. And, and it was like all the kiss heads on these spring heads. And it would get, I would. It was a great bit. And so he comes and he just becomes best friends when he comes backstage. We're having the best time in the world. And he says, you, you were like, you know, brilliant. And I said, oh, well, you know, he says, no, I'm. I, I never would guess. Like, you're actually, you know, I, your show was. And I said, he said, what do, what do you do besides comedy to, to make money? And I'm thinking to himself, like, he knows, no, I do this for like a living. Like, this is my full time job. Like, so I said, you know, I work. I do like weekends at Subway and something. He goes, no, no, I know. Like, I listen, I have a residency. Like, I, this is what I do. I don't do another job. And he said, no, I mean, like, like to make money. Like, do you have any of your fingers in anything? Like, like me, like, I have, I am Indy. And I said, yeah, you know, the money symbol. I own that I said, oh, my God. Well, I don't have that. I don't have any of that. He says, see, you need to give him something that you can make money when you're not doing this.

A (16:26)

So he's talking into branding, right?

B (16:29)

Well, he loved the fact that I was. He says, you were brilliant. Your brand, it's a Carrot Top. You have a logo, and you are a brand. So I just said to him, well, I make money. Not a lot of money, but I said when I made up the. I made a jingle and I made a lot of money, kind of for a couple years, but I still get checks for it. But it was just a dumb thing. It was a contest, and it was for a deodorant. And my buddy and I, he has a guitar and a piano. And it was true. It was in Florida, and they were asking for people to come up with, like, a jingle, like a Barry Manilow did for Band Aids or something, right? So we came up by Menon, and he's. He's like, what? I said, yeah, Mike. We just sent it in and we won. And we won the thing. It was like, by Menon and that. And they paid me for. I don't know, for. I still get checks or whatever. He said, how the hell did you come up with that? I said, I don't know. It's just like you come up with a song. I was just. They had the brand, and we just said, buy Men. And. And he's like, that's unbelievable. And I said. And then one other thing I did was with Certs, they had. They had something. They were trying to. And I'm a marketing major, so they were trying to come up with a way to rebrand Certs. And I said, why don't they come up with some stupid thing like now with Retsen? And he said, you're with me, right? And I said, no, I can't do jeans.

A (17:51)

He sat in that very chair.

B (17:53)

You're with me? Yes. And I said, yes. And he goes, okay. But the Bimentin. I said, no. The whole thing's bull. I had him for 25 minutes thinking that I came up with Bimenon and searched the Rhetts. And I mean, 20 minutes. He was literally like, you are brilliant. How did you come up with that thing?

A (18:10)

I'm not being facetious. Well, what's the point of that story?

B (18:13)

Because I had him just. He would with me so much that I just had him. Like, I'm gonna get him back, and I'm gonna think that I'm this Brilliant guy that came up with Bimin and he. He wanted to, like, be like a business partner with me. He thought I was Joey.

A (18:26)

Say about you, I guess.

B (18:27)

Oh. Cause I'm just being a. I was just, you know, my crew's back. What are you doing? I might just play along with it, and I'm not normally that kind of guy, but he's just that. He's that kind of. He put salt in my drink when I'm not looking and just think it's hilarious, you know, he is a child. Yes.

A (18:42)

Back to my point.

B (18:43)

Yes.

A (18:43)

You as Harlequin.

B (18:45)

Yes. The.

A (18:47)

The illumination in my mind was here's a person who's very funny but isn't caustic. I think your comedy. And you even say during your show, I just want people to have a good time. Is that. Am I paraphrasing that right? No, you just want to make people laugh, but you're not trying to hurt anybody's feelings.

B (19:03)

Absolutely. I try to send that message, though, the whole.

A (19:06)

You say some things in your show that are sort of positive, like, hey, like, yeah.

B (19:10)

And it's all about love. And it really is. I mean, and I pick on, like, including myself more than anyone else in the show, which is funny. When people watch the show, they see the self deprecation part of it, which is every comic, you know.

A (19:22)

Sure.

B (19:22)

That's what makes you funny. You know, last night the comic came back, he said, I love the Star Search bit. And he said, that was so funny, I thought you'd want it. And I said, well, why would I play it if I won it? It wouldn't be funny in the show if I said, hey, now, watch me when I win Star Search. And they're like, what's the punchline to it? You know, what's funny is I lost.

A (19:40)

But. But I guess where the. The harlequin thing kicked in is, is your self image, the way you dress. I'm not saying it's conscious or unconscious, but I'm saying you've sort of turned yourself into a Harlequin character. And. And I think where it's hard for us to understand in American culture is it's sort of an out, not outmoded character, but it's not a character that's readily present in our culture. Does that land on an intellectual level?

B (20:04)

Yeah, sure. See, this is where you go, no, it's playful. It's playful, it's fun, it's artsy. Yeah. And it's. And it's. And it's unique in a sense that like, it fits my. My whole act. Like, my act. I go back to my. My first show, my first show on television. I was already that. I had my crazy hair and rainbows and everything, and it was like 1985. And, you know, people are like, wow, you. Like, I've always. I've always stayed the same, but the show's changed and evolved, and I've changed and evolved, you know, to a degree.

A (20:39)

The reason I'm after this is because part of the reason I want to do a show like this is I really want to understand what makes people tick, because I like the connection between, let's call it a critical self awareness, even if it's intuitive, leading to success, and then even when there isn't success, how that character sort of navigates. And in your case, I think it's really interesting because I feel like in trying to do research to interview you and the lazy version would be to, you know, do the greatest hits like people do with me. But I found there wasn't a lot of information about, let's call it, your inner life. And I'm not saying that you want to talk about it at great length, but I think it's fascinating that someone who's been as successful as you have been and as successful as. As long as you've been successful, which is really impressive. There's not a lot of information about sort of your inner world. Is that purposeful or you think people just don't get it?

B (21:35)

A little bit of both. Interesting. Yeah, I don't really do. I don't. I just started doing a lot more in my show, as you saw just a couple nights ago, where there's kind of a retrospective part of my family and my, My. My career. And I go back to, you know, being in how I got into comedy and how people inspired me.

A (21:54)

Certain comedies, that's a recent kind of addition.

B (21:56)

Yeah, because I started becoming a little bit more comfortable on stage just telling a story. I was always Carrot Top. And it had to be like you were saying, watching me on the Tonight show or any other show, they would. They would say, no, no, no, no, just the props. And I said, well, I have this really fun story about on a plane or whatever. And they would say, that's not what people. They tune in to see you with all the gags. So it would take other things like this or, you know, I remember doing like the Charlie Rose show, one of those kind of things where you just sat at a desk and people were just blown away, like, you know, like a Larry King Kind of style show where they would say, well, I've never seen Carrot Top talk. You know, they just see you in this, in this, in this crazy stage, you know, with all the gadgets. But it was fun to show behind the scenes.

A (22:40)

Is it, is it one of those. Because I get this on the other side, which is like people who are into rock stars really don't want to know that the rock star is a nerd. They want to stick with the characters. Is it because most people really aren't that interested in a comics inner life or has there been a part of you that's been reluctant to share your inner life?

B (23:03)

Again, going back to. It wasn't reluctancy as much as it was just not being comfortable and to share it. But I do a lot of things in the show now that are just quick one liner references that people are kind of like, huh, like, like I'm kind of a mystery to people. I don't have a, I don't. I've never been in trouble. The night's young. But you know, I've never had anything like, you know, it's just who is, you know, it's almost a good name for the documentary. Like who the really is Carrot Top. Because no one knows me. No one knows me.

A (23:33)

Let me add my piece of kindling to that fire. I always found you interesting, but to me, because it's a generational thing, you being 59, me being 57. You're always kind of there, but kind of over there. You know, I'm in music and you know, I'm sure you are. It's like you get very focused in your world.

B (23:52)

Sure.

A (23:55)

And so before I walked through the door the other night to see you play at the Luxor, I had one version of you. Right. And it wasn't good or bad. It was, I mean I'm at the show so obviously it's positive.

B (24:09)

Yeah.

A (24:09)

But that version of you is so small to the version that I saw

B (24:13)

on stage, hopefully in a good way.

A (24:15)

No, I was, I was blown away.

B (24:17)

I have one version too and I don't like the version. I have. No, I appreciate that because I think honestly, and I only because I get it from people that come to the show is that's the number one thing people always say when they come to the show or they write on the thing or they come or write me letters. They, they, they one, they had more fun and they say it to you, which it's, you know, it's funny but you know, I never liked you, but I Love the show. Oh, my God. Like, I'm a huge fan now. My wife didn't want to come, but we reluctantly, I drug her and oh my God, tell her, oh, my God, it was the best. I don't know why I've never liked you. And then they come and they see the show and they're like, this is nothing. What I thought it would be. So it's a compliment, but it's like, how do you get that out to people that are haters of me? You just have to keep doing it. Not hater, but you know what I mean? Like, don't quite get what the whole thing. Even the comics that were friends of mine last night were like, Scott, you have, like, you have a really. That's a really good thing. You're like, it's really polished and it's stand up. Was like, it's real stand up. I'm like, well, I'm a real stand up. But they don't think that.

A (25:20)

Well, working backwards, I saw someone who's a master at his craft. So that blows me away because I just know how hard that is. You know, the 10,000 hours bit, it takes a lot of like, if you remember, when I came back, I was asking about your pacing.

B (25:34)

Yes, yes.

A (25:35)

Because I saw you turn. You come out real hot and I saw you turn the pacing down. Just like I would play a slow song in the middle of a set. And you were like, oh, yeah. Totally conscious.

B (25:43)

Yeah.

A (25:44)

Okay, so I'm not crazy. I saw this man. I saw you working. It's hard to explain. I'm not saying you're puppeting yourself, but it requires a level of mastery to control your. What people see in your back. You're kind of pulling the lever.

B (25:56)

Sure, sure.

A (25:58)

But the other thing I thought, and it was shocking to me was not only did I have an overly small impression. I don't mean small. That I saw you as diminished. I mean the version that I think of you now versus the version I walk through the door is like this to this, right?

B (26:13)

Not a little bit bigger. Yeah, a little bigger.

A (26:17)

But I also thought it was fascinating that here's this man in plain sight. 18 years at the Luxor, and yet the American public doesn't really understand how good you are at your job. And I thought, that's really weird. I think it says more about our culture than it says about you. But on some level, you must have contributed to it.

B (26:37)

Yeah. The people that know. No, that's why they come back. They're like, this guy's good people. That I sometimes just recently said, all the people that have been my fans and I have the first timers. It's a lot of first timers and it's awesome that we get newcomers that like, what is this Carrot Top thing? You know, because it's just been around for so long, they kind of, all right, let me fuck, we're here.

A (27:02)

Do you feel, because I certainly have a bit of this. Do you feel like in your quest to seek recognition early that you maybe you presented a hyper realized version of yourself that created an impression that wasn't false, but it wasn't, it wasn't as wider, as true as you are now. Do you think you contributed to that?

B (27:21)

Yeah.

A (27:22)

Is that just pure ambition or was it. Was it born of some level of insecurity?

B (27:27)

Probably a little bit of both. Definitely, Definitely insecurity.

A (27:31)

Is it if I'm not this guy, they won't love me or.

B (27:36)

Yeah, to a degree. There's all that. I mean, that's what's weird about it. There's so many emotions and things that go through over processing it too. Like of course there's, you know, the insecurities. I mean, you're a comic, you're insecure. I don't know how as much the rock bands, I'm not in a rock band, but there's all those things you're thinking about even all the way through the career. Forget the first time you're on and even last night. Yeah. And you want it to be the best they have ever seen because if they have seen the show, it's great. Or like the meet and greet before. We saw you 12 times and man, last night, it's the best show. You want to make, make sure it's, you know, they leave the property and they're like, man, that I, we. He still got it kind of thing. Or, you know, I mean, like, oh, he's not, not as good as it used to be or, you know, my opening act just a week ago was coming to the show and he, he got, I guess pulled over for speeding on the, behind the stadium. And this cop pulled him over and he said, he said, you know, you know why I pulled you? He said, no. He said, you're speeding. Where are you heading to? He said, I'm going to the Deluxe or I have to go work. He says, what do you do at the Luxor? He says, I open for a Carrot Top. And this is the cop. Didn't he miss a beat? He goes, Carrot Top. Jesus Christ. He's getting old, isn't He. And I'm like, see, don't, don't. And then Rob, don't tell me that. Because now, see, now, that's all I'm thinking about for the last week now, is that everyone looks at me. That's why I put up the show. And it's not. It's true, but a lot of it is real. Like, it's. I just had an interview and, I mean, it was just right after, like, not even, like, Joe Rogan. I don't think Joe Rogan said, when are you going to retire? So it was like just maybe a year ago or nine months ago to the day. Mary Lou Renner. Mary Lou would know this exactly.

A (29:21)

Mary Lou Hen.

B (29:22)

Mary Lou Henner would know exactly the date. She would. She'd know exactly. Just someone said in an interview, so how long are you going to. You know, you think you're going to keep doing this? And I said, oh, you got me for another hour. As long. And he goes, no, no, I mean, like, your career. How long do you think you're going to go? I'm like, well, like, you know, retire him. He's like. I said, do I look that bad? And he's like, no. I'm like, why would you ask me that? Like, you only ask people. You don't ask young people. They get in the business. So how long are you going to be in? It's my first year, my first album. So how long? But they probably asked him that, though. I've seen interviews with Queen where they asked Freddie Mercury, like, well, how long? You know, they got one album, one song out, and they're like, well, how long you think? Yeah, you know, you're going to take this. He's like, well, I hope God did. God, I hope we got like, seven more albums. Yeah, I hope, you know, hope so.

A (30:06)

Yeah. Yeah.

B (30:06)

But. But it just, all of a sudden, that's kind of what they're asking me, like, so, you know, how long you think you can have this thing going? I'm like, well, I don't know. I mean, I'm going to go until they won't let me go, or I'll go until I feel like I should go. You know, when I feel like I should go, I'll go.

A (30:23)

I think the best is yet to come for you.

B (30:26)

I feel that, too. I've never had more fun and confidence in my career, in my stage presence and personality and what I like to open up to the crowd with, too. I mean, I say things now that people like, holy. And they. They don't know how to take it. You know, they, they. They do take it, but they're like, I think this guy's, like, being real with us, you know, And I try to let them know. It's like I. A couple times in the show, I referenced to the. To the crowd that, you know, I try to keep everything in the show real because it's more fun to tell a story that's real. Most comics, you know, of course I embellish some of them, but they're usually stuff that's happened that makes it like the interview guy, when he retires. It just makes it fun. The lady in the plane, you know, it's like, you know, I don't know who you are. I feel so bad. You know, it's. It's just that's what makes it fun, you know? And I don't think there's been more fun time in my career than where I'm at as far as writing and creating, you know?

A (31:16)

Am I right in assuming that you're the product of a happy home? Is that accurate or not?

B (31:23)

My home now is. No, I mean, when I grew up, yeah, my mom. Dad split when they were. When I was, like, 13, so it was kind of. Kind of a rough start. Of course, both my mom beyond loving and just, you know, she still is the sweetest woman in the world. She lives in Vegas. She's a stripper, but she's doing great. It's an old joke. It's like a wooden pole. She's got splinters when she comes, so that's how old the bar is. But no, my dad worked as a scientist at NASA. He wasn't the warmest guy. You should say, I do that in the show. I even talk about that in the show where I said my dad didn't. My dad never hugged us. He never even, you know, barely shook our hand. He was like a dude, you know, And I'm this crazy, eccentric, you know, that's why I'm the black sheep of the family.

A (32:10)

Maybe a slightly different question.

B (32:11)

Yeah,

A (32:14)

maybe that's more what I'm after.

B (32:17)

Supportive to a degree. I mean, like, okay, so where didn't it work?

A (32:22)

Where didn't the support work? They didn't get you? They didn't understand you?

B (32:24)

No, they. I think that. I mean, I think they got me. I mean, it was that I was definitely different. You know, my brother was.

A (32:32)

The word they used to use was precocious.

B (32:34)

Well, I was actually really quiet, shy kid. I was very literally.

A (32:38)

So did you feel unseen?

B (32:41)

No, not really unseen. No, I just, I just testing my. Yeah, no, I like that. No, I was just very quiet, never got in trouble. But I was the class. But I was the class clown, if that makes any sense. I was always the one that would tell a joke, like, but not to disrupt the class. It would just be after the, you know, school, or I walk up to the teacher and they'd say, God, you're funny. But I wasn't like blurting out things, it was just, you're funny. So even when I was 12, 13, run. We'd have a bonfire on the beach and these cops came out and there was like 12, 13 of us. And the cops says, you guys can't have a fire in the beach. And I said, where would you want to take us? Where should we take it? We're right next to water and sand. What's the safest place to have a fire? And it just was funny. And my friends were like, you're witty, you're funny, you're observational. And so I had that kind of thing in me. And that's when I started really watching a lot of stand up and a lot of like Gallagher and Carlin. And it was observational stuff that made me laugh. Any comic that would do something that

A (33:39)

you'd go, I guess what I'm after, just to jump to the chase.

B (33:42)

But family was, I think, letting them know that I wanted to be into comedy. My mom was okay with it. My dad was completely not. I mean, right. Like in the show. And he says, it's not gonna happen.

A (33:54)

You know, it's the classic cycle psychoanalysis thing of like, behind every clown, I'm using the word liberally. There's a sort of sorrow or, you know. Have you ever heard that? I'm sure you must.

B (34:07)

Sure. No, no. A sad, I mean, and I'm not, by the way.

A (34:10)

I don't see you as a sad person.

B (34:13)

No, but as a young. I mean, there is, there's always. You're good because you pull it out. So if you break it down. Yes. I was a really skinny, red headed, freckled kid that lived on a beach and everyone else was, you know, blonde hair, tan, surfers, and I'm like this red headed, freckly, skinny kid.

A (34:33)

Can I tell you a funny thing?

B (34:34)

Yes, please. Finally, please tell me something funny.

A (34:41)

So I was dating someone who was Australian. And you know, Australians have this thing where they shorten words. Do you know that?

B (34:51)

No, but yeah, I'm doing Trump.

A (34:52)

I'm doing. You doing Trump.

B (34:53)

Doing shorten the words. I keep My words real. They don't do those short words. I do log. I made words. No one had words.

A (35:03)

And they were talking about a friend of theirs who was a redhead and they referred to this person as a ranga.

B (35:11)

That's great.

A (35:11)

I go, what's orangutang? Orangutan.

B (35:14)

Yeah, Orangutan. Yeah.

A (35:15)

That's like, wow, that's stiff.

B (35:18)

That's stiff, right?

A (35:20)

And of course there's the famous south park episode about redheads.

B (35:23)

Yes. And gingers and soullessness.

A (35:28)

So is it born of being of the slot? Even the other day I saw on social media you posted this thing, you were wearing a shirt like redheads.

B (35:35)

You do a club redhead or something. Someone gave it to me.

A (35:38)

I need to find more of you or something. Was the.

B (35:41)

Yeah, I need more. I need to find more. Yeah, I need more members. Someone gave me the shirt and I thought was cute. Club redhead. Yeah. There's, you know, I do enjoy the show. We're running out of redhead. So there's. There's no redheaded club and there is just like four or five people that are miserable hanging around. But yeah, going back to your credit. So I guess in. In a sense it starts out, you're not really a sad clown, but you. That's how you get. I got into comedy and got into being self deprecating because the minute someone would pick on me, I would already pick on me and said they had. No. Yeah, they had. And that's great.

A (36:14)

I read this book by. I think it was Carrie Fisher's first book that was very successful. And she talked about after being in Star wars and being obviously famous and obviously the daughter of parents, she put on a bunch of weight. In the book, she. She explains that she would do this thing when she would walk into a room and people would, you know, invariably look at her. Oh, it's Carrie Fisher. She'd say, I know I'm fat. And I thought that was. So I got it. Like, I instantly got it because I. I've done that as an artist.

B (36:44)

Yeah.

A (36:44)

So I was trying to understand.

B (36:45)

Like that's interesting.

A (36:47)

Right.

B (36:48)

Because she's saying it before she knows they're all saying it.

A (36:51)

Yeah.

B (36:52)

And it made her feel probably.

A (36:53)

But.

B (36:53)

Well, probably heard it hurts her to have to say that. But yeah, I mean, you know, I was just saying that last night, literally with how these comics I was talking about, you know, I was always sometimes in. But not as much as I would have the butt of the joke and your character and my friends were like, you know, anyone that's never seen your show is the one that probably. And I said, well, it's true. I mean, you know, people that have seen the show number one and comics that know me that have done the show is what got me, you know, through things like Carlins and Gary Shandlings and people that. Like friends of mine, Bill Maher, I mean, he's a friend of mine that thinks I'm funny. George Carlin said you're funny. That's. That would be. I lived with that. Instead of, you know, some guy saying I wasn't funny and sucked, I'm like, you know, George Carlin said I was great. You know, Mel Brooks said I'm great. So it didn't matter that this guy in Nebraska and his competitor.

A (37:45)

Is it a feeling?

B (37:45)

But it's still. It's still a sadness is what I'm saying. So when she walks in the room and says, huh, yes, I'm fat. It's kind of like she probably doesn't want to be fat. And she's sad that she's got. She has to say that. And that's where. That's where the pain comes in. And that's where, you know.

A (38:01)

But that's where the harlequin thing is.

B (38:02)

Yes, indeed.

A (38:03)

Because it's a tragic comic character. It's not a tragic character. It's tragic. It's converting in an alchemical way, pain or displacement. Or I use sometimes a feeling of otherness. Like, why am I different?

B (38:20)

Right.

A (38:20)

Like, recently I did a post about, I have a birthmark. I don't know if, you know, this goes all the way up my arm.

B (38:25)

I saw your post.

A (38:26)

Oh, thank you. So the thing went viral. Blew my mind because I saw a young woman who was a model and she has a birthmark on her face. And I commented on that and somehow it got picked up. And you're in People magazine. It's like one of those weird American moments, right? But what I was really speaking about was like, why AM I, at 57, still weirded out about having a birthmark? It's such a superficial thing. It obviously doesn't affect my ability to play the guitar. And why am I still in some sort of weird psychic pain about something that doesn't have anything to do with me? It's just I was just born that way. And obviously our physical being and our sort of, let's call it our born personality, these inherited traits, it's what we do with them that makes us interesting or different. And I think you found a particular alchemy which is really Unique. And that's why. Repeating again. I had one version of you up until the other night, and then you just blew the doors off of every perception I had of you. And I realized that this is this far more vast being in there.

B (39:28)

It would be weird to say if I have the same feeling about you since the day I met you. I appreciate that it's the same. No kidding.

A (39:36)

Well, I appreciate that even if it's not true.

B (39:38)

No, I'm being stupid. I'm saying that's all right, because I have the same. You know, where you're here, and now you're here. You're still here and here.

A (39:45)

Pete the comic. I thought of you like this, and now I think you like this.

B (39:49)

Yes. Thank you.

A (39:53)

I love that you talk about Gallagher on the show, and we don't have to go too deep into it, because it's really. People should see your show to really get the substance of it. But I thought it was really beautiful how you found this person, that it was like. It was like maybe a North Star for you. You want to just touch on that?

B (40:09)

Well, I'll say. It's crazy. I was a young. I was 13, 14 years old, and this guy lived next door to me that was managing all these bands like Atlanta Rhythm Section and Da Da Da.

A (40:19)

I saw them once.

B (40:20)

Yeah, me too. Did you? Yeah, When I was 13, he put me in a security T shirt. Security. Seriously? Isn't that great?

A (40:27)

You saw them literally at the same age. Was when they were super huge.

B (40:29)

Yeah, yeah. Daytona Beach. And I was. He said, you're gonna do security? I'm like, 13. I weighed eight pounds. And anyway, was Jack then. No. Yeah. No. And no. I'm still not. I mean, I'm all right. I'm okay for. For. For a comic, I guess, I say. But anyway, so he. Then one day, he just says, I. I'm doing this. This comedian, too. And I said, I was writing. I just was trying to study comedians on the Tonight show and whatnot. And he said, this guy, name's Gallagher. I said, you want to come to a show? So I went to a show.

A (41:01)

Never heard of him before.

B (41:02)

Never heard of him. Went to his show, my dad, and I went, that's all true. And we went to it, and I met him, and that whole thing is kind of. I shook his hand, and the whole thing was. He says. I said, I want to be a comedian. He says, all right, well, come bring some jokes. Come back next time I see you bring some jokes. So I went back, and I saw him, and he says, you got any jokes? And I said, I wrote a couple for you. And he says, you wrote me a joke? And I said, yeah. And I tell him the joke, and he's like, did you write that yourself? And he says, yeah. He says, that's great. And I kind of, you know, 13. I was thinking I write for Gallagher, but I was telling my friends, like, I. You know, I. I wrote a couple jokes for this guy, you know, so then I. I kind of kept going, kept going, and. And I. There's an open mic night at my college, and he was playing in. In Fort Lauderdale, and I went now, and he was blown up. He's playing like, you know, 6,000 Cs

A (41:51)

in that formative period, you know, 13 going into late teens. Are you watching every comedian? You can watch it. Are you breaking them down like an athlete breaks down tape?

B (42:00)

Absolutely. Yep. Were you even videotaping them and all? VH yeah. VH T. My mom got me all the Brooks Brothers and the. And. And everything from. From George Carlin to Bill Cosby to every. Every comic that we could. She could get a tape of. And I'd. I'd watch them and study them, literally study the timing and all that. And so then I. I went and saw Gallagher again when he was blowing, like, 7,000 seat thing.

A (42:27)

Holy cow.

B (42:27)

I went backstage and he said. I said, I'm doing. You know, I'm thinking about doing this thing at school. And he's like, at this point, does

A (42:34)

he know you a little bit kind of thing?

B (42:35)

Yeah, he knows even more. He's kind of. And I said, you know, I'm trying to come up with a couple things. An open mic night. And he was like, what's some of your stuff? And I tell him. He's like, no, it's all right. It's pretty good. And then all of a sudden, I'm on the Tonight show, and I call Gary. That's the guy who's managing him. I said, call Gary. And they were living in Hawaii.

A (42:56)

Oh, this is years later.

B (42:57)

Yeah. And I'm like, you know, I've been doing comedy there for a while. And I was. Tell them, hey, I'm doing comedy and galleries. Like, you know, I saw him out. He's like, oh, man, you're doing, like, clubs and.

A (43:06)

Oh, so this is later for you. Timeline. Yeah.

B (43:08)

Okay. Right. So then he. Then I said, I'm on the Tonight Show. And he's like, like, what? And they watch, and Gary's like, what the. That was. Dude, that was insane. Like, it was. And Gall loved it. He was like, that you just. Great. And so we just became, I guess I'd say, pretty good friends. I mean, I would. I would see him and I'd call him and ask him his things and opinions. And then one day, he just. He just. He got mad at me and said that I. You know, he thought kind of our acts were a little too similar. Uh oh. And I was, like, really bummed because that's the number one thing that every. Well, especially when I started, was to do your original stuff, because you didn't. If you did anything remotely to stealing someone's, you're done. Especially going on the Tonight show, right? People was like, what are you doing this joke? So it had to be your own stuff. And that's why I think all my stuff was so. I mean, it was stolen signs was. My whole first Tonight show was like, hey, neighborhood crime watch sign. You know, how good is their crime watch if they're not watching their signs? I mean, it was like, no one's doing that. You know, I had the bank, too, but this.

A (44:13)

Did you feel. So you felt his accusations?

B (44:16)

Well, yeah. Well, totally. And then what was interesting, we did finally make up before his death. He came back to my show, like, nine nights in a row, literally. And I'm terrified because he. Well, I don't know. He said, he's all right. And he just sat right there, I mean, by the curtain and watched every night. And my energy. Your buddy's back. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I was just blown away that, you know, my mentor's right there watching me.

A (44:46)

That's intense.

B (44:47)

So intense. And I had a show that was like, Noah, like, last line. It was a show that was just. It was just. I'm on, and I'm like, I'm in that. You know, you're just dancing up there and everything's killing. And I come off and he's like, that was the worst show I've ever seen you do. That was horrible. And I was like, oh, my God. I thought he was kidding because it was the best show I've ever done. And he just told me, kind of critiqued me and said, you know, just, you gotta change everything. Change everything that you're doing just completely to start a new act. And I remember just saying, okay, thanks, gal. And then you reminded me of, oh, I'm sorry, future story. But then when he passed away. This is creepy. I think I had, in the making of this prop. Five, six years. Maybe it was because some people back in the day Would say, you know, I saw your show and I said, oh, you hit that watermelon. You ruined my husband's jacket. And I was like, they think I'm Gallagher. Like the like. And I used to say like I, you know, he was. Anyway, people were just. Because the sum of whatever. So enough people would say that. So when I'm in the front row, this guy's like, hey, when you, when you hit the watermelon, give us a warning, right? And so I was like, I said, yeah, I think you're at the wrong show, right? And I'm like, I said, I don't hit the watermelon until the end. You know that you've seen the show. And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, and I've, you know, I hit cantaloupes now just because I want to make it different. And I just thought more on brand with the coloring. Yes, exactly. Same age left. Yes, yes. And so I just, I came up with this prop that was impossible to make. It was going to be a watermelon and I was going to hit it and it was going to explode. And it had like, it was like an asset. Like my dad would have to make this thing. And my dad had did make a couple of my props when he was alive because it had involved engineering. But anyway, I finally get it done. It weighs like 5,000 pounds. It can barely get it into the theater. It's just over engineered.

A (46:46)

This is a watermelon gag.

B (46:48)

Yeah, it's over engineered to the point where it's just, it's almost silly. It's a bomb. It's just this whole thing literally. And I have to hit this. This mallet weighs as much as it's 125 pound mallet made of a tree and a whole thing. And I have to hit it right on the mark. And when I do it just, it looks, it's amazing. And I did it for a tribute to him, right. But not. He wasn't dead yet.

A (47:11)

Okay.

B (47:12)

I'm doing this as I have this whole story about him and I da da da da. And then I say at the end, I don't know I'm going to do it. I come out, it's a joke to put the bell and I come and I hit it and the crowds like goes nuts, right? Because it's like homage and was the word I'm using for homage. Homage. So I did it one night and that was like, that was incredible. I mean that ending was really phenomenal. And I woke up the next Morning. And he passed away.

A (47:41)

Oh.

B (47:41)

One night after doing that. And literally my phone's blown up. Galga died. Galga died. Galaga died. So I was like. And my manager's like, well, there goes the bit. And I'm like, well, no, now. Now it is a tribute to him. But it was weird because I wanted him to see it.

A (47:55)

Did you keep doing the bit?

B (47:57)

Oh, I did it. I do it now.

A (47:59)

I just speak. Because it's a variant of that.

B (48:02)

Right, right. I wanted him to see.

A (48:04)

But I know, like, because you said it was this elaborate.

B (48:06)

No, I wanted him to see it, though. And I. The joke. I would say that that night I said, I can't wait. Gallery's gonna. He's gonna. He's gonna. Either he's gonna hug me or he's going to sue me. And then he didn't get a chance to see it. But I was. I really wanted him to see that because it was a spectacular tribute to him. It took years in the making.

A (48:23)

A couple things come to mind. One is there's this Buddhist parable which is if you see a Buddha on the road, split him in half with an axe, you know.

B (48:33)

Have you ever heard of. No, I have a lot of Buddhas in my house.

A (48:37)

Well, so you have some Buddhistic thing in there.

B (48:41)

I mean, I have a lot of Buddhas around. I have a lot of weird stuff around my house, though.

A (48:45)

I haven't been to your house yet.

B (48:46)

That's right, you haven't.

A (48:50)

But the idea is that at some point, the student needs to destroy the teacher.

B (48:57)

Oh, I see. You're saying analogy there.

A (49:00)

In my case, my teacher was my father, and I had this thing happen where I was going to see this therapist in the 90s, and one day I sit down in the chair and she goes, well, you've done it. Done what? She goes, you've destroyed your father. My fame and my hegemonic domination at the moment had basically squished my father like a bug into the ground. And, you know, part of that was the way he treated me up until I was successful. But then, you know, it changed the nature of our relationship after because. And I think that's kind of what you're hinting at. You know, in essence, he gave you the inspiration, but at some point he rebelled that the student was. Was outpacing the master. But that's. That's. That's life.

B (49:52)

That is beyond a super duper analogy. And it also would reflect my father, as you just said. Your father. Yeah, that is exactly what happened with My father, when he rejected me to do that, I wanted to go into this business, you know, he was like, no. You know, you can't say no. But he was completely not, let's say, for it much. And I just did. I went on my own, and I. You know, I did it on my own. I never. I never came back.

A (50:24)

That's painful, right? Because.

B (50:25)

Absolutely. Because you want them to be supportive and behind you. And, you know. And this is. I used to do it in the show. My dad's like, you're getting a comedy? No. When I had done comedy, I said, dad, you know, I just did. I did this show, and I just. I was trying to drive home. He says, how'd you get a buy? How'd you buy a truck? And I said, well, I have three. Literally three jobs when I was trying to do college and three jobs and do these little comedy shows on, like, at a club or a bar, like, strip coffee anywhere. They would have a coffee shop. They'd have them. And usually they would pay me with, like, a Walkman. That's how long ago this was, right? That was the gift. You get a Walkman. And that was. I had, like, piles of Walkman. I would win these goddamn contests every week. And here's your Walkman. And then that was my. Then I came a joke. I said I'd say, can you run with a Walkman? I had, you know. So I said to my dad, I said, dad, I finally got paid. And my dad was like, what are you talking about? For what? I said, comedy. They paid me, like, 150 bucks for a weekend.

A (51:25)

Yeah.

B (51:26)

And my dad was like, to do comedy? And I said, yeah. He says, you're not funny. But he wasn't being mean about it. He just said, no.

A (51:33)

That's kind of mean.

B (51:34)

Literally said no. But he said, how? My dad would say, but you're not funny. I'm like, no, I know. And I wasn't funny around my father, and I wasn't funny around. I just. I was one of these. Once he came to the show, I wish I had him on tape. He would. He would. He would. He had no clue. No clue. He had no idea who I was. No clue.

A (51:53)

Had the same experience. I don't want to talk.

B (51:55)

No, but that's. But that. And then he was. No, but that. So we know we have a lot. We have a lot similar Aries, and honestly, yeah,

A (52:04)

we feel. We feel pretty.

B (52:05)

And you're two years younger than me, so, yeah, we're in the same. We have that same. There's a lot going on with us. I hate that I have to say. I'm older than somebody. I'm always. I'm always the oldest. Forever, forever.

A (52:18)

Forever young.

B (52:19)

Forever young.

A (52:20)

I actually sang that to Bozo on a TV show.

B (52:23)

Did you really? Swear to God. That's good.

A (52:27)

Thank you for sharing that. Because it's. That's what I mean, it's like, I think it's so fascinating that someone that has shared so much of themselves, you know, there's not a lot on your story. I mean, you touch on it in the show.

B (52:44)

There is. There isn't. That's why we really want the documentary to be kind of. It will be really the first time, you know, naked with. I'm not going to be naked, but. You mean showing myself behind the curtain. Whatever. Just like, I got it, you know, I mean, you're naked, you're jacked.

A (53:03)

And there's just a carrot.

B (53:04)

Just a carrot. Top this. That's the name of the special right there. Hey, top this. We just thought of it.

A (53:12)

I just want to trace through this a little bit because I think this stuff's kind of fascinating.

B (53:15)

Okay.

A (53:15)

You show in your. Your show that the Star Search moment.

B (53:18)

Yeah.

A (53:19)

Where you lose. You got Ed McMahon. You know, there you are, John.

B (53:24)

Car gets three in the corner. Sorry. Yeah, It's a hard show. You had to do math, right? They don't now. They just say, who won? Contestant two wins. Now, back then, two and a quarter stars. Three and a third. I'm like, the. Is a quarter more than a third. I didn't know.

A (53:40)

I guess what I'm after is when. Let's call it. That was the cultural zeitgeist for a comedian at the time, like, you entered the jet stream of, like, here you are. Is that. Was that your kind of first announcement on national TV or was.

B (53:54)

No, it wasn't Star Searched. It wasn't the first one. It was just such a big, broad primetime show. I think I was on Comic Strip Live first, and then Sunday Comics was a prime show. And then that's why we were talking this last night, going home about Star Search and some of the other ones that they have a lot of comics that run. There were already established comics that were on, you know, Star Search. You know, they were already doing theaters,

A (54:18)

and it was a bit of a work, as we would say.

B (54:22)

Yeah. And I was the, you know, I, you know, I was that. I was then the Heat that. That time, and people like, you know, you want to. Do you want to be in Star Search and I was like, you know, I grew up with that. Someone's like, well, yeah. And they're like, well, you're going to win it. I mean, everyone doesn't want to do it now because you're going to do it. I'm like, how am I. You're gonna win it. Like, everyone was saying it. Like, every comic was basically saying, well, caretop's on it. So there goes that. And then I lose in the first round. The guy you lost to, Bob Zany, he's a very funny comic.

A (54:53)

Oh, so it was a comic. Comic thing.

B (54:54)

Yep. Yes. Yeah. Comics versus comics. And then. Yeah, Star stars.

A (54:57)

I don't remember enough about the show.

B (54:58)

I remember it was just. It was commerce. Comic or band versus band.

A (55:01)

I remember Sam Harris. Remember, he was.

B (55:03)

Yeah.

A (55:04)

The hyperbolic singer.

B (55:05)

Yes.

A (55:06)

That's a sort of foggy memory. Walk me. Because it's. It's different now. But in. In the 90s, what was the trajectory for the rising up through the ranks as a professional comic? Was it a lot of. Was a lot of ground war? Live shows and then you get your national TV shots and I haven't.

B (55:27)

Mine too.

A (55:28)

Did you end up in the. Also in the MTV Jets?

B (55:30)

I say mine's interesting because I. I started out and then I was, you know, just clubs doing anything. And then I would do. I mean, literally strip clubs, anything. But they would have comedy. And then I started finally doing professional clubs, and there was a lot of clubs that wouldn't book me because I was Carrot Top. Like, they just. They wouldn't. The Punchline in Atlanta, the biggest club you could possibly play. Everyone played from Seinfeld to Foxwood. You name the name. But I was already.

A (55:55)

You know, they would say, we don't want to book him.

B (55:57)

No, they would. I know the guy right at the time, Rotten d'. Annunzia. He'd invite me to his Christmas party, but he wouldn't book me because he liked me. He says, you're. I love man, Scott. I love you, but I can't book you. No, I. I don't. I don't. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I can't book your. And I said, why? Why? And every comic would be like, you gotta book Keith. And. And I finally just like, okay. It was just like, whatever. He just doesn't do. He just doesn't book for a variety. I said, he picks Amazing Jonathan with the variety. Why would you book me?

A (56:29)

Is that what they call it, Variety?

B (56:31)

Well, that's how they're specific. Yeah. Right. They would say, Variety with a magic guitar act or whatever. They'd say variety in a nice way. Me, they'd say prop act. But they just. So I would play the other club in Atlanta and we would, we would. Yeah, we'd sell the club out. Kill da da da. And I would say, every year, Ron, can I play the punchline? He said, no, no. I said, okay. I mean, I'm playing there, I'm doing. It'll be good for you. And my name. I'll help. You know why all my friends are playing there. And then one night it was. It was the Fox theater in downtown Atlanta and it was like a Wednesday night and we sold out. Like, I don't know what it was.

A (57:07)

That's a big, huge 45, 3500. I played it.

B (57:11)

Yes. And for a dumb, stupid comic, that's big. It was huge. And. And the band Widespread Panic, we were selling.

A (57:18)

I was a rock band. So that gives you a sense.

B (57:20)

No, I know. As I'm saying, for me it was unbelievable. And it's in Atlanta and I'm like, you know, what do I do? I said, I don't know, do. I'll call Ron and just say, come see my show. Like, don't be a. About not him booking me. And he didn't come. But, but, but it was fun to call him and say, I'm at the Fox theater on a Wednesday, you know, I got some seats.

A (57:38)

Well, at that point, I just want to admit he's wrong.

B (57:40)

Right. But we had the widespread banning the band there. I was just. It was like, man, this is. But then I'm sorry, I'm going way off. So I do that. Then I go to the clubs and I naca. There's a thing called naca. National association of College Activities. And I, I went to the regionals and I did really good. I mean, I was like, I was killing it. Then they had the national one in Dallas and I got accepted to do the national one, which was national. I mean, every college, every college was there and I went up.

A (58:06)

So you're playing every college?

B (58:08)

I was already playing colleges. Yeah. Bookers. Yes. Like a national college.

A (58:11)

So this is where they all go to decide who they're going to buy.

B (58:14)

They buy and book. And so I'd already done the regionals and had all these schools. But then now I'm here and I've got, you know, Auburn, Notre Dame, you know, every college, ucla. And I destroy. I don't know, I just. The perfect spot. I had a 20 minute set and it was just, I Got lucky. I was unkilled. And I beat Harry Chapin's record of number of bookings in a day. And so I remember it was a big deal. And that's really what changed for me, because I had all these.

A (58:48)

So it was more ground game.

B (58:50)

Yeah, it was all ground game. Colleges and, I mean, two a day. Cafeteria in the morning, arena at night, cafeteria in the morning, arena at night, Homecoming stadium in University of Florida Stadium in Tallahassee Stadium.

A (59:04)

Right.

B (59:04)

And it's like, I wasn't. They booked me for it. But I'm saying I, you know, I was. I played cafeteria, and then I'm playing a stadium and the same day.

A (59:13)

Yeah.

B (59:14)

And so it's cafe. Oh, yes, yes. Cafeteria. I mean, so it's some similarities to it. But, like, what.

A (59:23)

What gag? What gag doesn't work?

B (59:25)

Well, that's what that actually is, right? It is actually with intimacy, with what I was doing back then more than I am now. It was. The stadium was crazy, crazy hard. But I did great. But that's where I would have this ground. I'd have all this, like, almost like a word of mouth, like, Carrot Top. It's kind of just like this Carrot Top thing. And then I would do. I started getting tv. So I would have everything from MTV to Regis and Kathy Lee to the Tonight Show, Arsenio hall, you name, whatever show it was. But I'm doing colleges and then I'm doing tv. So kids are saying, oh, we saw this Carrot Top guy at our school. And they're like, oh, I saw him. His grandmother. I saw him on Regis. So I had this. And then I had a cartoon show on the Cartoon Network. So it was like literally 8 to 80 was my audience any given day. And then I got AT&T commercials. And that was like, stupid big. I mean, it was like. It didn't. And it didn't do anything except make me, like, famous in public. Yeah, public famous because he would say, oh, my God, the phone guy. They wouldn't even know I'm a comedian. They just know the phone guy.

A (60:34)

Yeah, you're that guy.

B (60:35)

They would even say, what are you doing? I'm the rat in Memphis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rat the cage. Exactly.

A (60:39)

That's what I get. You're the rat in the cage guy.

B (60:40)

So that's what happened. And then finally. And then we got Vegas. And then now it's so. It's been. It's just been this incredible journey the whole way. But up the ranks was I, you know, I did my time. I definitely did all the club Work father's passed away. I'm not crazy about that. Right.

A (60:56)

At what point in that journey did he pass away? So at what point did he get to see you?

B (61:00)

He definitely saw the. The. All the height.

A (61:03)

Was he surprised? Was he supportive?

B (61:05)

Very supportive. Did he come up on the other

A (61:09)

side and be like, oh, God, you are funny?

B (61:10)

Yes, absolutely. Did he get it?

A (61:12)

Did he eventually kind of get the humor?

B (61:13)

Oh, absolutely. And he. He.

A (61:15)

Did he start pitching bits?

B (61:18)

No. I would call him and say, my dad was funny, though. He was funny in a different way. Dry away. But he. I would call him and say, I need you to make this prop. Could you make this prop? And it was a, you know, a hat for. It was a hat with these NASCARs that went around your head kind of. I said, so you wear this if you can't go to the race, so you feel like you're at the race at home. And he made it, and it was brilliantly made and done. And so he was very involved at the end and was. He got into. My dad doesn't even know. I don't know, social media. He's like, there's some kind of thing called Facebook or something. And I got a page on there, and he called himself Pop Top. So he was very proud of me. And Pop Top was hilarious. And the people would, you know, text him on the thing and say, you know, I saw your son at so. And so my dad would, you know, they would defend me, too. These people were saying rotten stuff about you. I'm like, dad, I told you not to get a Facebook page. You know, they're saying you're gay, that you do drugs. I'm like, dad, just don't get rid of the page. People are going to say anything. They're going to say, rotten. But why are they saying these horrible things? You know, one day he actually said to me, do you do drugs? I said, no, dad, first of all, I go to the gym every day. I run every day. Doesn't mean you can't do drugs. I'm like, you'd have to be a pretty good athlete to go to the gym and run every day and still do blow. So, no, I don't do drugs, dad. People are saying all these things. I said, yeah, it's show business, man. Right? When they start talking shit on you, you've made it.

A (62:42)

There's a truth to that.

B (62:43)

I do.

A (62:45)

I said this thing the other day where people kind of. They do this weird thing where they talk about the point at which they thought you reached the highest Point of accomplishment. And then they compare you to where they think you are now.

B (62:57)

Oh, no.

A (62:58)

As if you're living in the shadow

B (62:59)

of your own ivy.

A (63:01)

Yeah.

B (63:01)

Yeah. That's horrible.

A (63:03)

Well, I mean, but as I said in.

B (63:07)

I saw you at your show tonight, you're jamming it. No, but it's not the same to say it like I just saw it.

A (63:13)

Thank you.

B (63:13)

So you're still. Your shadows. Is. Is. There's no shadow view. Yeah.

A (63:19)

Well, what. What I like to say is, even if people are right, because I'm always willing to accept that people are right. Like, I don't need to fight them if they think you're a shell of who you used to be.

B (63:30)

That's right.

A (63:31)

I don't have time to get into arguments.

B (63:33)

I kind of don't care.

A (63:35)

Right. But what I like to tell those people is, like, at least there's something to compare something to. I actually made something for you to argue about.

B (63:43)

That's funny. That's a good way to put it.

A (63:46)

I know you flashed the number the other day when I saw you, and probably by the time this airs, you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000.

B (63:53)

Somewhere near. We're getting near. Lots of people have been to the show.

A (63:57)

That's cumulative. Vegas shows.

B (63:58)

It's cumulative. I think, on my career. I think we have.

A (64:01)

So you're almost at 10,000 shows.

B (64:03)

No, it's not. It's somewhere closer. Not to. We put that up one night because it was. It was. It was the reason we did that. And I'm close to. But not 10,000 yet. That we did it was communal of my entire career. And then we looked up. It was like, my manager's like, it's not 10. I said, well, the reason we did that, because there was someone that just did that. And we did it as a joke.

A (64:21)

Okay.

B (64:21)

And then we kept it in the show.

A (64:22)

Okay.

B (64:23)

So it was some guy that said,

A (64:24)

it's not a real number.

B (64:25)

No, but there is a real number, but it's not 10,000. It's probably, you know, 1200. No, not 1200. It's probably closer to, like, eight something.

A (64:33)

But still a lot of shows.

B (64:35)

But I do that. And we have an inside joke with the crew every night. Of course, naturally, because the numbers. The same number every night for a year, so it hasn't changed. I came to the show a year ago.

A (64:47)

I was so proud for you.

B (64:48)

I was like, yeah, yeah, but it's a lot. And then the joke is that four of those were good, but still 10,000. You know, it's a good laugh.

A (64:57)

I found in trying to research you, there's not a lot of critical review of your work, which is kind of weird, I think, really. At least I didn't find it.

B (65:06)

Well, I have one that's. That's funny because people are afraid to write about me. They just don't explain that. Okay, it might have. It might have changed now a little bit more. Especially since I've been, you know, I always say, you know, I've been around so long now. I've been. I've been invited to the barbecue kind of thing. Okay, your family, you can go to the barbecue. When I played, I was just starting to get a little heat. I had played the Wiltern Theater out here in Los Angeles. And it was a big deal for, you know, character. The Wiltern. It was like 2400. Yeah, it was a big deal. I remember. And it was like. It was la, and we had like,

A (65:41)

cool deco building, old la.

B (65:44)

Yeah. And we had some celebrities there. We had people that, you know.

A (65:47)

Can you remember who was there?

B (65:50)

Jenna Elfman was one of them. God, there's a whole bunch of them. I remember more now, but I remember. Well, it was like real celebrities came to my show. And I was on MTV a lot then. I had a lot of TV stuff. So they were like, oh, this guy writes from the LA Times a column about it, Carrots apotheu. And I have it framed in my house because. Because it was brilliantly written in this sense.

A (66:18)

Brilliantly mean or brilliantly stupid or brilliantly mean.

B (66:21)

No praiseworthy went on. No, it went on. How. How horrible that it should have been. Okay, I can't even. I'll send it to you. It's. It's just, it's. And it's a nice all. And I got so much from all my colleagues for saying, I'm going to go to the caratopsure to see it. And you know what? Everyone's going to hate me for saying this, but he killed it. And I had a great time. And it's just. I highlighted that part.

A (66:50)

It's not fair because I've had this too. Why is.

B (66:53)

But back then it bothered me more than it would be today.

A (66:55)

But set aside yourself for a second because I want to explore this. Because we live in this weird world where we have to sort of process this information that most people doesn't have to. Don't have to process. Why is a writer performatively posturing for who?

B (67:14)

Right, right.

A (67:16)

Is he worried about what his critic friends are going to think at The Formosa.

B (67:20)

Yes.

A (67:21)

Right. What is that?

B (67:22)

That is exactly what it is.

A (67:23)

What is that?

B (67:23)

That's why. I don't know. But that's what. He ended it. Yeah. No, this. And, and people would say even this time, where I'm at now, people will sometimes say that they just can't believe

A (67:37)

that it's a qualifier or the asterisk.

B (67:40)

Yeah, yeah. And it's just. And it's weird because you don't. It's not that you deserve the asterisk or did anything to get the asterisk. It's just like you just did the work. You know what I mean?

A (67:50)

Well, I think there's something interesting about that. If you don't mind me indulging, please. Number one, I had this experience recently where a guy interviewed me and he was a former writer for Pitchfork, which is, you know, the infamously snarky music website from Chicago. He told me this at the beginning, you know, kind of saying I used to work for Pitchfork, but I'm out of that and I'm from Chicago. And basically, you know, he didn't say he was a huge fan, but he indicated before we started the interview that he thought positively of my work. Had a great interview, I thought was a great interview. Half the article, I can't remember where it was, but it was somewhere big. It was like, you know, like a, like a magazine type of thing. And it was, you know, the publicist thought it would be a good look for me is, you know, I'm repairing my reputation, which is forever damaged or whatever. And the guy spent half the frickin article apologizing for thinking highly of me. And I thought, this is so strange. Like what are we doing here? I almost rather he just try to slit my throat. So let's explore that because I think this gets to the heart of our conversation.

B (68:55)

And you know what, Carrot tops, He's such a nice guy. I get that a lot too. Like, why not, you know, mean that they, they before you keep your thought though, because my cousin was at the show last night and she, she, she reminded me of this and it's just perfect for this right now. My friend and I don't want to throw him under the bus because he's, he has a dear friend of mine. But it's the funniest, if he was sitting right here, he'd say, I did do that. So my cousin Patty gets Drew Carey's book. She loves Drew Carey in Cleveland. She's in Cleveland, she says, I'm going to go get my book signed. At a book signing from Drew Carey. So she gets her time in line, she puts the book down in front of Drew Carey. I've known Drew Carey for a thousand years. We're actually really good friends. And she says, oh, you signed my book? And he says, yeah, you signed his book. She goes, oh, my cousin's Carrot Top. And he looks up, he goes, scott is your cousin? And she goes, yeah. Do you think he's funny? He said, he is. Scott is the nicest guy I've ever met in my life. And he goes, but you think he's funny? He said. I said he was nice, didn't I? Now, he might have been just being funny, but he's never. He was. But it was like, that's just an example of, like, you know, he didn't say you were funny. I'm like. Cause he's a comic. He's with me. But of course, we've been friends, and he knows. We know both love each other's work. But I've had similar things where they do that, right? Like the one I framed. He could not. He could not for the life of me just say, holy. It was just everything about the show that I did. And then he said, I can't believe I'm going to get so much for saying this. But I. He killed it. I love Carrot Top. Show master Masterpiece.

A (70:25)

Yeah. I'm taking my show back over here. Now it's my turn. I think it's this weird thing. It's a cultural war thing. And in a culture war, there has to be winners and there has to be losers. So because they can't praise them, all, right? Because there would be no heat in wrestling. There has to be baby faces and heels. So invariably, certain people in our culture, they turn us heel or they make us the clown to be kicked, because it somehow either fosters or illuminates the thing they want illuminated. Does that resonate with you at all?

B (71:06)

Sure.

A (71:07)

So what I always think, and I'm not trying to put this thought on you, but I always think is, like, why do I have to die for rock and roll? I mean, I love rock and roll, right? You know, I mean, I love it. It's. My whole life is rock and roll. I mean, I gave my life to rock and roll. Literally. I mean, most of my life has been spent on the road in a studio. And of course, there's always a person. Well, you got paid. And no, bro, they ain't no amount of money that can pay for 18 years at the Luxor.

B (71:41)

Yeah, I don't but I never did. And that sounds weird, but I don't think you. Just by knowing you briefly now, I don't think you got in to make money. You liked rock.

A (71:52)

I mean, I wanted to meet chicks.

B (71:53)

Well, you want, right? You want to meet chicks. You want to. But you want me. You want to make music. But of course that comes with that. You're gonna get paid.

A (71:59)

But it comes from a place of passion, obviously.

B (72:02)

Absolutely. And. But I mean, all the way back,

A (72:03)

it's you breaking down George Carlin tapes.

B (72:05)

All the way back, right? All the way back then, I was like, I am famously known for not even getting my check at clubs back then. I would get up, pack up my. Have a drink, find girls, dance with them and leave the next day. And, like, you didn't pick up your check. I'm like, oh, yeah. And I'm not just being cocky. I didn't think about, you know, and I never, you know, I never got paid back when I then. So when I started getting paid, of course then it was like, ok, getting paid, but it's never been money. What the. So let me ask what I still do.

A (72:34)

If you want to. If you want to play the game of the thought, what sin have you committed on comedy that they feel the need to sort of throw you?

B (72:44)

Well, I don't think now. I think now it's gotten. It's. It's gone. It went from, okay, but I've done everything wrong to okay, so what did you do wrong?

A (72:52)

What sin did you commit?

B (72:53)

Well, no, Well, I think. What? Well, too funny? Well, yeah, you're funny and you draw crowds and you sell merchandise and they hate everything, but they don't like that you're on. You know, they would ask Jay Leno, literally, I was on a plane with Jay and he said, give me comments, come out of me and I'll be, how come they don't. They always put you in the film? How come Karen Thompson's not with on the show? And I said, oh, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry you have to endure this. Because he would. He would go to comedy clubs and they all say, how come Karen Thompson every week? And he'd say, do you know what Jay would say to him? Cause he brings the goods. And I said, oh, that's nice. He goes, no, you do. You show up and you do your thing and the thing, and then it's great. I did the work.

A (73:33)

I sold tickets, mother.

B (73:35)

Right. I keep the viewer. They would always say, you keep the viewers. It's A whole big bull thing on television. You know, I go in at 12:01 and one leaves the station. But when I would go on, if I was on, they would wait. Oh, and they're looking, but you know what I mean. So I Nielsen. That's why I get the ratings. But that's just all those little variables. But what did I actually do wrong? That's what makes. That's the whole funny part. I used to kind of do a story when I started doing all the retrospective stuff in the show. I would say when I started out doing comedy, I couldn't do. They wouldn't let me do strobe lights, they wouldn't let me have foggers, they wouldn't have music. And I had it all on a foot pedal like you have in your. So I made a strobe light smoke machine and a. A wind blower. And then there was a sound bite. And there's only one sound bite. At the time, it was a. It was a Michael Jackson thing, whereas. And I have it on a loop. And I would hit the blower with this foot, and I would hit the sound effect with this foot, and I would do this Michael Jackson thing. This is, you know, 35 years ago. And the comedy club owners were like, they loved it, but other comics would see and like, what is this? Yeah, I'm like, it's, it's, it's, it's. The crowd loved it. And like. But why? You know, I, I go to the. Tonight.

A (74:52)

Okay.

B (74:53)

No, well, they think that. Yeah, they think either cheater or that's not. It's not pure. A purist, you know, like, pure. Okay.

A (74:59)

I don't understand the comedy. What's pure comedy?

B (75:01)

A purist is. Would be you.

A (75:03)

And it might be some pathos.

B (75:05)

Absolutely. It's, it's, it's. You can do that. Of course I do. But. But they don't see them. And they see it in the show now. But that's why people see me now. They're like, you are. Don't say Carlin, but you are. You are a purist. Comics, last night, we're like, you did 45 minutes of stand up. And I'm like, yeah, you gotta show that. I'm like, they will see it eventually. I'm not worried about it. I just would like people to see it. But that's what a purist. So when I hit the scene, I was everything but that. You know, a comic has strobe lights and lasers and music and. And now I have a video wall. Like, what is that? I'm like, that's called staying with the times. It's, it's, it's upgrading your show to modern day. People want to look and see and hear. I said that way back 40 years ago when I started makes sense. I said show and tell with liquor. That's what I am. You go to a comedy club and I got sponsored.

A (75:56)

That's part of the show?

B (75:57)

Yeah, kind of. Kind of or no, now I used, they used to give me a lot of the free product. I never got money from them, but they gave me, they gave me, they gave me booze.

A (76:05)

I would be remiss to not ask you about performing in Vegas. I think you told me you do six shows a week for three weeks and then you take a week off.

B (76:14)

Yeah.

A (76:14)

How do you not go completely insane being in Vegas for extended periods?

B (76:18)

Well, because I live in a normal life there, you know, I have a house and I, and I just go in the back door and go home. I don't go party, I don't go to the Strip. I have my little backstage where you. That's, that's, that's my biggest. Do the show, have a drink, chat with some folks and then head home and next morning, wake up, go to lunch, go to the gym, go to the show.

A (76:39)

So you like living in that climate?

B (76:41)

Yeah, it's a normal neighborhood. Just normal. You can, you know, it's just a normal. People are always shocked. Do you live in Vegas? I'm like, yeah. They have like an Albertson. They have an Albertsons there. Yes. Yeah.

A (76:51)

But what do you. In your free time? Because you obviously have a lot of free time. Yeah, maybe you don't, but.

B (76:57)

And when I'm working during the day, it's not really too.

A (76:59)

I can tell you what I'm doing

B (77:01)

in a given day, but it goes by pretty. Like I said, pretty fast. I wake up.

A (77:05)

When do you normally wake up?

B (77:06)

I wake up. Well, it depends. Usually nine. I don't go to bed that late, so I get up at 9, I water all my own flowers, I blow my yard leaves and everything. I'd kind of make the place look good. And then I go to lunch and then I go to the gym. And then I usually go grab a little coffee somewhere and kind of just get my head together for the.

A (77:24)

And start to.

B (77:25)

Because it's already, it's already, you know, by 4 o' clock you already got to go and do sound check and a thing and a meet and greet like you do. I actually do believe it for a comic. I actually do Sound check. Because, you know, you just got to get warmed up and you got it. And we always play rock and roll and that's so you're getting in the zone.

A (77:42)

Starts when? On the day usually.

B (77:44)

Right. You know, that's what's weird about our business is you're always in that. It's like, I don't know of anyone or I don't. I do a few that just do whatever. And then they go, oh, I gotta go. And they walk in right when the shows and they go on stage, I'm like, I'm like.

A (77:58)

That was the famous thing on Jackie Gleason didn't rehearse.

B (78:01)

Yeah. See him.

A (78:02)

Larry King told this amazing story where because he was friends with Gleason during the Honeymooners times and he's literally on the side stage where Jackie would walk through the door. And Jackie's just chatting. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he hears it's his cue and be like, I'll be right back. Walks through the door, goes out and kills. Hasn't rehearsed with the cast at all. Walks back through the door, closes the door and picks up the conversation.

B (78:21)

Jesus.

A (78:22)

And you believe it with the guy.

B (78:23)

Yeah. Glee. Some Jack.

A (78:26)

I wish I was that guy. Or maybe you wish you were there.

B (78:28)

Of course. Although I don't like, I don't mind being the other guy, but.

A (78:31)

No, no, it's fine.

B (78:32)

But I like, I like, I get excited to go into work and I get excited to, you know, I always say it like you were an actual rock star. But when I, you know, I always say my friends like, dude, you know, it's time to be a rock star. And we go out there and there's, there's music and there's strobe lights and this fog and there's this. And you're, you're, you're just in that element. It's like. And that's why I picked that to going way back a minute ago about what rules did I break? I broke all the good ones, man, because I love having all those bells and whistles on stage. That's what makes, that's what makes me happy. And that's what makes the crowd like going to a stand up comedy show. And there's smoke and the strobe lights and there's, there's the confetti shit. It's like you're at a rock concert and there's rock and roll blaring the whole night. The whole show's. You've seen, it's All. It's all music, and it's just bam, bam. And that's, you know, you come off, you're exhausted, but it's rock and roll. I know. I watch you on the side. I'm like, now that's rock and roll. We. We just kind of try to. You know, we try to be it as much as we can.

A (79:32)

It's a different thing to scream at the top of your lungs for an

B (79:36)

hour and a half. Yeah, I watched it.

A (79:38)

I don't want to say what you do isn't primal, but it's. It's more bass primal.

B (79:42)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (79:43)

You know, you've got to come from gut.

B (79:44)

Yeah.

A (79:45)

You gotta, like, go so out of your comfort zone. There's nothing normal about screaming. You know what I mean? No, it's kind of weird and on cue with no, you know, no provocation.

B (79:56)

Yeah.

A (79:57)

You know, no fight or flight.

B (79:58)

No.

A (79:59)

Just like. Okay, here I do want to ask you before we. Before we end here, I'm like, anything that's American institution. Vegas as an institution is sort of fascinating because it's. And I think you do a great job in the show. Sort of poking fun at. Let's call it the Bull. That is Vegas. I mean, everybody knows, but you live it on some level.

B (80:24)

Sure.

A (80:25)

And I, like. Like, one of my favorite jokes that you told was like, and tell me if I did it wrong, but Circus Circus so bad, they named it twice. Like, I love Circus Circus. I went there the other day by myself. In fact, before I came to see you play, I was there by myself, like, playing the sad games and.

B (80:41)

Oh, that's great.

A (80:41)

I'm just into all that weird.

B (80:43)

That's good.

A (80:43)

No, I love that last time I was there, like, I went a couple years ago with my kids, you know. You know, in the movie. There's that one movie where they. They filmed it as James Bond or something. And they have, like, clowns. And now it's just, like, totally sad. People with the barrel for 30 minutes on the legs. They don't even, like, switch acts. You're like, oh, my God, this is so out there.

B (81:03)

Right? But, yeah, it's fun. And that's what's great about, like, you said. I. People always like, oh, my God, like, one comics, like, where they have the luxury of doing that kind of. As we pick on, like, I pick on the Luxor. And people, like, they let you do that? I'm like, well, they know I'm. I mean, I'm. They. I do it in a fun way. I don't. I Always I make a joke. I love this hotel. This is my favorite hotel right here at the. The Luxor. Like it's just like my hand for the answer. I mean, it's just a joke. But I have had people. I had. We had a president of the hotel, Felix Rapport, who's a genius, went on to Foxwood's, been everywhere. He was just one of the best presidents of a hotel. Knew how to do it, man, right? With entertainment. He would come to the show all the time. One night he comes to show and I had this dumb joke they had just built New York, New York. And I think he was. Was. Anyway, the joke was I said, if you go to New York, New York, I said, you got to go to New York, New York. You just leave here and you go through the Excalibur to get to New York. It's like going through Jersey to get to New York. And it's just a dumb joke, right? But it's funny because you have to go here through Jersey to get to New York, New York. And we played that song. Ooh, that smell killed. I mean, it would kill. And one night he comes back, have a show. He's like. He's like, like Scott. No, he's never would ever. Never ever. He's not even allowed to tell me. They can't. They don't own my show. I own my own show. I just rent the space from the Luxor. In a sense, that's how I do it. But they're not allowed to say what I can do content wise. And I try to respectfully not do things that I think would be wrong. So, you know, circus. Circus a bad. They named it twice. Not. We're saying three times that, you know, like that. Just fun.

A (82:43)

Yeah.

B (82:45)

Bellagio, you know, it's a dump. I call it a dump. It's beautiful. It's. Of course they know it's a joke. So anyway, he comes back, he's like, he's heaven. Said he says, oh, man, I gotta. I gotta, I gotta ask you something. I said, oh, what do you want? He says, we're getting a lot of people that are upset about. It's only one little thing. I said, what, what, what are they upset about? He says, that joke you do about going through the Excalibur, I'm like, oh, going to. Like going through to Jersey to get to New York. He goes, yeah. I go, you want me to take it out, I'll take it out. He says, it's just a lot of the employees here, when they come to the show. They, they get their feelings hurt because you're, you know, calling their hotel a piece of. And I'm like. And then, but then my mike, I said, yeah, but if you listen to the joke, Felix, at the end when I say it's a piece, I said, it's a nice piece of. And I really did. That was the joke of how it ended. I go, it's a piece of shit. And he says, you do say that. I said, yeah, I'll take it out. So that's the one thing in my entire life that someone asked me to take out. And I took it out respectfully because I thought, you know, it's not, it's not a deal breaker and, you know, it's one stupid job.

A (83:54)

Does the darkness of Vegas get to you at all? It's a dark place.

B (83:59)

Yeah.

A (84:00)

I mean, it's obviously a great place because.

B (84:02)

Yeah. It's only,

A (84:05)

it creates an atmosphere where someone like you can sure reach for these things.

B (84:09)

But it's all. We always say, we always say, even, you know, as beloved as I. But everyone says it. We always say, God, only in Vegas, you, we see something. Sure. Or you experience something to show. Like only in Vegas. Like we had. People had to be thrown out of the show the other night because the guy was, was just beyond obnoxious. And it's like he was sitting right in the front with his five guys and they were. I wasn't even on yet. They were just already causing a problem. So they had to throw the guy took his, his big $87 drink that he must have just bought and threw it up on the stage, you know, in disgust and anger.

A (84:42)

Those props are expensive.

B (84:44)

Yeah, but I'm like. And you know, they, they're on the radios, you know, I went home, we're holding the show. Some guy's been throwing. Oh, he just threw a drink on the stage. I'm like, what? Who does that? Like, no one does that. I've never seen that ever.

A (84:58)

Okay.

B (85:00)

And it's just like we all, we just sit back and we all, we said, only in Vegas, man. Like you don't see people behave like this.

A (85:06)

And well, you do have a unique seat in that. You see America as it probably really is. You get that cross.

B (85:12)

Yeah, we get everybody, everybody from the different countries come. I mean, even, even Louisiana, Even Louisiana comes.

A (85:22)

Has it made you cynical to see America up close?

B (85:26)

I mean, everyone has a little cynic in them. I mean, that's a, that's what drives the machine. Right. Is all that, you know, a Little bit of my dad's in me. I'm very. A little sinister, a little myself, a little cynic, but. But yeah, not too much.

A (85:41)

He just kind of doesn't seem to affect you. But I was wondering.

B (85:43)

Yeah, it really does. Yeah. I'm consciousness of it for sure, but. But, you know, I've been very blessed. You know, we've been there, Jesus, almost 30 years. And they. We just going back to, you know, again, we. They just had an election. That's the thing I do on my show. Hey, we won. So we. We won first place. And it's like, you can't. You can't. You can't put up there that I won first place because it's not funny.

A (86:05)

Did you win first place?

B (86:06)

Yeah. So I'm. I make me get third because it's only funny if I get.

A (86:08)

Oh, so that's actually.

B (86:09)

Yeah, but I got. No, but yes. So I got first place in the. In the Weekly, which is a. Like more of a. The hipster man. You know, the weekly magazine in Vegas. It's all the hipsters, you know.

A (86:22)

Trust me, I know all about the hipster.

B (86:24)

And then. So we. Wow, we got first place. Then we got third place in the USA Today, which is a general poll. Right. That's a. It's a broad. That's a. You know.

A (86:32)

Sure.

B (86:33)

So then we just won, like two days ago, the paper. Okay, so this, like, so first. Third first. When I'm like, so the bit in the show is I just leave it at third because it's not funny if I win. You know, I mean, you have to say, hey, we got third. Yeah, yeah. You know, but people in Vegas have been very nice to me, and the support is unbelievable.

A (86:55)

Okay, my last bit here.

B (86:57)

Yeah. Gotta hope I make it through it.

A (87:03)

I had this impression the other night, and it does kind of dovetail with my thought about you as Harlequin, I thought. And it was a weird impression because again, I'm having this kind of moment where I'm watching you thinking, wow, this guy's really got chops, like, everywhere, left and right. I found myself laughing about bits you were doing between the bits. Like, you do your bits and then

B (87:26)

there's like little bits, more people. And I mean this. And I don't even know what the hell. Everyone says that to me. And I swear I'm now trying to even be conscious of what the hell people are talking. They say, you. And then the mumbling stuff. I said, I don't even know I'm mumbling. They say, yeah, you do the bit. And then you do this thing. And I'm like, but what is the thing? So can you remember what the wizard.

A (87:47)

It's almost like you're talking to yourself. All right.

B (87:49)

Okay. But I don't.

A (87:51)

Like. You did the. You did the puffy baby oil joke.

B (87:57)

Yeah.

A (87:57)

You want to explain the bit or you want to skip?

B (88:00)

Yeah, I know. It's fine. It's a backpack for P. Diddy. It's a big, oversized box. Baby oil backpack.

A (88:05)

And then. And then you, you know, as you're putting it down. Oh, and then you go, too soon?

B (88:08)

Oh, right. Yeah. There's little things that I kind of mumble on my.

A (88:11)

But I found myself the next day laughing about the bits between the bits.

B (88:15)

Yeah, well, a lot of people say. So I gotta make sure I keep doing that.

A (88:19)

Your trump is something else.

B (88:21)

It's fabulous. Great. Yeah. No, it's stupid. It's stupid because it started out just. I was. I. I can't. You know.

A (88:27)

You're gonna do it. No.

B (88:27)

Right. I couldn't do it. Right. And now I. I. And when you're sitting. That's the best part. When you're sitting like, this is the perfect time. Because it's only when he's sitting like this. Right. And it's just become. It's one of those things. It's not even picking on him. If you saw the show. I don't even pick on him. I just. Do you pick a topic. I just say. Just say. Just pick. And just say something random.

A (88:47)

You. Me. Right now?

B (88:48)

Yeah, right now.

A (88:51)

Dick Cheney.

B (88:52)

I made Dick Cheney. There was never Dick Cheney before me. There was never Dick Cheney. Never existed. It's when you just say anything. Anything he said.

A (88:59)

Wasn't I the person?

B (88:59)

No. Bottled water. Bottled water. People drank out of hoses. I made bottled water. I'm the first administration to make bottled water. I mean, it's just so dumb.

A (89:05)

Even though he doesn't have a heartbeat.

B (89:06)

And I'm not even making fun of him, I'm just making fun of the character.

A (89:09)

But, you know, Dick Cheney doesn't have a heartbeat. Do you know?

B (89:11)

Yes. You tell me this. Yeah. You did? I did. You got to do it now. Dick Cheney. Yeah.

A (89:17)

He doesn't have a heart.

B (89:17)

Dick Cheney doesn't have a. He doesn't. Not only not a heart, he doesn't even have a heartbeat. I mean, he has no heart. Yeah.

A (89:24)

Okay, my last little riff here is, I pile psychologically on top of your.

B (89:28)

I should have. I should have done my hair for this. God damn it.

A (89:33)

But I had this interesting revelation during it. And again, I'm sort of sitting there, like, dealing with the three dimensional version, what you actually do, as opposed to my poor latent impression. And I thought this guy would make a great Shakespearean actor. Did you ever really. I know you've done some movies and stuff, but you're probably doing you. But I mean, did you ever think about acting?

B (89:53)

Yes, I have. Definitely.

A (89:54)

I think.

B (89:55)

I know. I love it.

A (89:56)

Great actor. I actually know what it is. I just. And I. By the way, when I say great actor, I was like, this guy should be a Shakespearean actor.

B (90:04)

No, I don't. About that. Well, you're. No, you're very sweet.

A (90:06)

I'm dead serious. You've got, like, weird skill sets I didn't know you had.

B (90:11)

Well, ever. I think everyone. Well, not everyone. I think a lot of people. I do. Especially because I do. What I do is so dumb and over the top stupid. But then I always want to be that serious guy. Like, I want to. I wanted. I've always wanted to be in a movie where I. I didn't. I could just be cool. Like, remember when Jerry Lewis did.

A (90:31)

Was a king?

B (90:31)

Yeah, King comedy.

A (90:33)

Like, I think you got that. I think you should look at that.

B (90:35)

We. No, but I did. I did. I've done a couple things were. Where people were like, that's pretty good. Like, I'm not. I would say, you know, I'm not a trained actor, but I think every comic can kind of, to a degree, act a little bit. But I've always wanted to have that. I did one movie that's not come out yet where I played again. I'm like. I don't want it to be like, the Joker because it looks. You know, I'm trying to be, you know, me with blood all over me is already mad at me. I'm walking Phoenix. I don't want to. So I made sure they knew I'm like, this clown, but I don't want to be. I don't want to rip off that.

A (91:13)

I get you.

B (91:14)

So they said, okay, you're gonna. You're gonna be this, like, crazy dude. And I am, like, literally just like, drug dealer.

A (91:22)

Is this a big budget or small budget?

B (91:24)

It's small, but I get to play, you know, And I. I just. I get killed. I. Covered in blood. The guy's. You know. But I'm acting like a real actor. It was so much fun at the end of the day. And they were like, that was great. And I said, you know, it was great. It was Just, I got a chance to not be Carrot Top. Like, it was like. Like, it was like just being Scott. It was. It was cool. You know, I had.

A (91:44)

Well, I can only encourage you in that because I saw somewhere in one of your mumbly bits, I was this

B (91:50)

close to being in a movie with Nicolas. Nick Cage's dear friend of mine lives in Vegas, and he. I know Nick from at least three days. Okay. Yeah. He says we hang out all the time. He says he's like, he'd be a good actor, right? So, you know, bruh, you know, hey, man, he'd be a good actor. So I'm like, yeah. I guess I'd read lines with him sometimes, just. But he's like, no, man, you're good. I got this movie, man, and it was great. And we never did it, but I got to play exactly what I just described. I'm this drug dealer, and I'm just. I can pick whatever. I. I don't. I don't have to be me at all. I can be shaved head. I can be shirtless. I could whatever. They wanted me to have a little bit of muscle because I'm like this crazy, strung out drug addict. But it was. The script was just like, oh, my God, I want to do this, man. But it might come one day, that kind of role, that kind of movie, because it would be fun to jump into it.

A (92:44)

I get it. That's all I can say. And I would highly recommend anybody go see you when you're playing, because I laughed for 90 minutes straight, and I can't think of the last time I laughed like that.

B (92:55)

That's very funny.

A (92:56)

The only other person who's made me laugh as much as you was Dice.

B (92:59)

Yeah, Dice. Hey, Dice is good. I love Dice. Dice is one of those guys you think would hate me, right? Just because. Right. I don't know.

A (93:08)

I don't know.

B (93:09)

Well, no, I'm just saying, like. Or at least maybe I'm thinking this too strongly, because back then when everyone were just out to get me, I did this Gene Simmons roast.

A (93:18)

They're out. There's that Guns N Roses song. They're out to get me.

B (93:20)

They're out to get me yeah, indeed. I'm on this road.

A (93:24)

There's the start of your documentary. Yeah, if the license is.

B (93:26)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. I had a TV show called Toys in the Attic, and I. I asked Steven Toller if that. He's like, yeah, man, do. Never came to tuition. But. The roasters. Because you're in front of Dice, so. And they with me. I'm on the dais, and I'm.

A (93:50)

This is Dice's roast.

B (93:51)

No, I don't know. He's there, but you're doing a roast. No, I'm on the dais roasting Gene Simmons.

A (93:57)

We're all.

B (93:58)

And it was everybody. I mean, it was. You know how they are, all the celebrities and da, da, da. And I think Danny Partridge, whatever his name was under there. Now, I haven't been friends with him forever. He has a radio show, and he's actually. He's a really cool dude.

A (94:13)

Oh, Danny. Bonaduce.

B (94:14)

Bonaduce. So he's there, and I'm whatever. And everyone's with me because that's how you do it on Roast, right? Finally get up. I'm like, you know, Jesus Christ, they're not roasting me. We're roasting Gene Simmons. What the. Take it easy, right? Everybody was just going on and on and on. And I said, and you. And. And you, of all people, Danny, I said, look, this is what you would look like if you took care of yourself. He was all just. He was in rehab at the time, and he was just all up and fat and bald. And I said. Because he was making fun of me. So it was my turn. I'm like. And by the way. But. So why did I do that? By end, they said, we have a special guest. And the back of the door, not even behind the dais, the door is open. He comes through the crowd, the cigarette, the whole nine yards. And I'm like, oh, God, I'm gonna get murdered. Murdered. And he comes up and he goes, look, he's funny. Well, absolutely funny at, like. Oh, no. He looks. He looks up and he goes, what the. What the.

A (95:14)

That's a good.

B (95:15)

Like, literally, that's a good impression. The. Is this the. Where is there a celebrity, right? And all of a sudden, he looks right at me and he goes and goes, carrot Top, right? And I'm like, here goes. Is the only celebrity in this dais. This literally. I'm talking about a love fest. I'm like, what? Like, I love you. Oh, he was just like, he. This got a. Has a show in Vegas for 30 years. You got nothing. This guy's worth $80 million. Carrot Top. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Great. And now we're best. Best friends. I mean, he called. We call each other Tom. He's like, I got. Hey, you gotta. You gotta do this gig. I got this guy in Florida, you know, I'm like, I can't do it, Dice. I gotta you know, I gotta.

A (96:05)

I have a tea house in Chicago called Madame Seuss, which is where this is from.

B (96:08)

Nice.

A (96:09)

But I've been. I'm trying to beg Dice through friends to come do the ticket. He'll do it, but he won't. No, he won't do it. He said no.

B (96:14)

No.

A (96:15)

He only works with one guy in Chicago who I actually know, but he's more on the south side of the city. He flies in, does the gig, splits.

B (96:20)

Yeah, that's. I knew that part.

A (96:22)

He could do two nights.

B (96:23)

He won't do it.

A (96:25)

I'll let you beg him.

B (96:25)

I'll have a talk with him. I'm. Tell him I'm serious. I'm going to say, I just. I just finished the podcast with Billy. Get the. Don't do his tm.

A (96:32)

I got married to my longtime partner last year, and at one point, I flirted out paying Dice to do the wedding. And everyone. Like, you could see them with the wheels turning. You know what I mean? Like, imagine you're married, everyone's there, families. And then you give Dice the mic.

B (96:48)

Oh, God.

A (96:49)

Right? It's like people's palms.

B (96:52)

Oh, God. How great would that be?

A (96:55)

So we'll let Dice have the last word. Anyway, thank you for doing us.

B (96:59)

Absolutely. Thanks for being on.

A (97:00)

I hope it wasn't too psychobabbily.

B (97:03)

No, I actually. This is one. I'm not making this up. This is one of the only podcasts that I learned something.

A (97:09)

Thank you, brother.

B (97:09)

You were so good.

A (97:10)

Thank you, thank you.