RQ Original Feed Drop – Neon Inkwell: Broken Hearted Monsters

Summary

Episode Summary: RQ Original Feed Drop – Neon Inkwell: Broken Hearted Monsters

Introduction

In the inaugural episode of "Broken Hearted Monsters," part of Rusty Quill's Neon Inkwell podcast feed, listeners are introduced to a unique blend of classic horror and heartfelt road trip drama. Titled "Death and Romance," this episode sets the stage for a poignant exploration of grief, acceptance, and the complexities of unresolved relationships. The story follows Frank, the creature born from Dr. Frankenstein, and his former boyfriend Dracula, as they embark on a cross-country journey to attend Dr. Frankenstein's funeral. This dynamic duo navigates not only the physical miles but also the emotional terrain of their past relationship.

Main Plot

The episode opens with Shahan's introduction, providing a glimpse into the premise of "Broken Hearted Monsters." Frank has been unexpectedly thrust into the role of executor for Dr. Frankenstein's funeral, compelling him to confront his estranged feelings and unresolved issues. Reluctantly, Frank invites Dracula to join him on this 2,000-mile road trip across nine states, aiming to turn a somber task into the "ultimate road trip."

Journey Begins

At the outset, the tension between Frank and Dracula is palpable. Frank humorously remarks at [05:08], "Wow. I guess 5:30 on Monday is a bad time to start a road trip," highlighting his discomfort with the early start. Dracula's cool-headed response at [05:14], "It is all right. Just put on your podcast and take deep breaths," underscores the strain between them.

Their journey kicks off in a rented convertible, setting a lighthearted yet tense tone. Frank's playful banter ([07:07] "Road rage hits differently when you're in a convertible") contrasts with Dracula's irritation, revealing the lingering frustration from their breakup. As they drive, Frank attempts to bridge the gap by reminiscing about shared memories, asking at [05:29], "Yeah, totally. So see any good movies? Read any good books? Date any cute guys?"

Dracula firmly establishes boundaries at [05:37], stating, "Let us get something clear, Frank. I am here to deliver you to your evil dad's funeral and then I am on the first plane back to LA. We are not discussing my personal life." This declaration sets the stage for a journey fraught with emotional tension and unspoken grievances.

Revisiting the Past

As the miles accumulate, Frank and Dracula delve deeper into their shared history. Frank opens up about his personal growth since the breakup at [06:02]: "Personally, I'm doing great. Been hitting the gym, meditating, going to therapy." Dracula's curiosity is piqued, leading Frank to jokingly mention the therapist's oversized sunglasses ([06:25] "She's wearing the biggest sunglasses I've ever seen"), hinting at his attempts to move forward.

Their stops along the way serve as catalysts for flashbacks and revelations. At [12:05], Frank nostalgically recalls their days at Rosemary's, a local haunt: "Yeah, we had some good times on those sticky floors. Drinking beer, shooting pool. Not a worry in the world." Dracula counters with a stark contrast, emphasizing his ongoing struggles: "I do not drink beer. I do not play pool. I worry constantly."

The conversation shifts to their mutual friends, revealing layers of their interconnected lives. Dracula reminisces about past escapades, such as wallpapering bathrooms with anime books ([12:28] "You got through half a wall before I realized you were tearing out my prized collection of vampire Prince Crybaby"), which Frank defends humorously: "Do not say it, babe."

Confronting Shared Grief

The heart of the episode lies in their ability—or inability—to confront shared grief. Frank expresses empathy for his mother's handling of Dr. Frankenstein's death ([10:40] "I just feel bad for mom. She had to put up with his miserable ass for all these years and now she has to plan the dude's funeral."), while Dracula grapples with his own sense of loss and abandonment. At [20:58], Dracula reveals his descent into solitary coping mechanisms: "After you punched a hole in my kitchen wall... I needed to feel anything other than that feeling."

Their interaction culminates when Frank acknowledges the necessity of Dracula's presence: [23:01] "I've never been more sure about anything in my life, babe." Dracula agrees to attend the funeral with renewed purpose, signifying a tentative step toward healing: [23:20] "We are putting the goddamn top up so I can take this goddamn ring off."

Themes and Insights

"Broken Hearted Monsters" deftly intertwines themes of grief, reconciliation, and personal growth within a horror framework. The road trip serves as both a literal and metaphorical journey, allowing characters to confront past wounds while navigating present challenges. The juxtaposition of horror elements with emotional drama creates a compelling narrative that explores how individuals cope with loss and the complexities of moving on from broken relationships.

The dialogue-rich interactions highlight the characters' internal struggles and the delicate balance between humor and sorrow. As Frank navigates his role in honoring Dr. Frankenstein's legacy, he also grapples with understanding his own identity beyond the shadow of his creator. Meanwhile, Dracula's presence forces him to face lingering emotions and the potential for new beginnings.

Notable Quotes

• Frank at [05:08]: "Wow. I guess 5:30 on Monday is a bad time to start a road trip."
  Reflects Frank's initial reluctance and sense of inconvenience about the journey ahead.

• Dracula at [05:14]: "It is all right. Just put on your podcast and take deep breaths."
  Emphasizes Dracula's attempt to maintain composure amidst rising tensions.

• Frank at [07:07]: "Road rage hits differently when you're in a convertible."
  Highlights the blend of humor and frustration in their interactions.

• Dracula at [12:05]: "I do not drink beer. I do not play pool. I worry constantly."
  Contrasts Dracula's character with Frank's more carefree demeanor.

• Frank at [20:58]: "After you punched a hole in my kitchen wall... I needed to feel anything other than that feeling."
  Reveals Dracula's vulnerability and the depth of their past conflict.

• Frank at [23:01]: "I've never been more sure about anything in my life, babe."
  Signifies Frank's commitment to repairing their relationship and facing the future together.

Conclusion

The first episode of "Broken Hearted Monsters" masterfully sets up a narrative that promises both supernatural intrigue and deep emotional resonance. By combining classic horror motifs with the intimate dynamics of a recovering relationship, Rusty Quill crafts a story that invites listeners to engage with characters who are as flawed and relatable as they are otherworldly. As Frank and Dracula traverse the American landscape, their journey becomes a metaphor for the arduous path toward healing and acceptance. This episode not only entertains but also invites reflection on how we cope with loss and the courage it takes to reconcile with our past.

Production Credits

"Broken Hearted Monsters" is written and created by Shane and Morgan Ormond, with script consultation and directing by Amani Zardioni. The episode was skillfully edited by Nico Vitesse, Kathryn Seton, Tessa Vroom, Meg McKellar, and Catherine Brunello, featuring music from Nico Vitesse. The voice cast includes Kai Partena as Dracula, Marcus Bobisic as Frank, Evelyn McCauley as Esme, Alistair Catto as Perfy, Beth Ayer as Camilla, with additional voices from Ash Kelly, Ted Hazzard, Paul Kundarian, Philomena Sherwood, S.H. Hamza, and Karim Crumflip. Neon Inkwell is produced by April Sumner, with Alexander J. Newell as executive producer and Elizabeth Monk as showrunner.

Listeners eager for more can subscribe, explore associated materials, or support the series via Patreon at rustyquill.com. The episode concludes with a gentle invitation to continue the journey in subsequent installments, promising further exploration of Frank and Dracula's intertwined lives.

Transcript

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

To get people excited about Boost Mobile's new nationwide 5G network, we're offering unlimited talk, text and data for $25 a month. Forever. Even if you have a baby. Even if your baby has a baby, even if you grow old and wrinkly and you start repeating yourself, even if you start repeating yourself, even if you're on your deathbed and you need to make one last call or text, right? Or text the long lost son you abandoned at birth, you'll still get unlimited talk, text and Data for just $25 a month. With Boost Mobile Forever, after 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan forever. Brought to you by H Stand Up Comedy now on Hulu hey everybody, Hulu has a bunch of new stand up specials that aren't just funny, they're hoo larious. Very funny Hulu. Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gaffigan, Elana glaser, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, and tons more. A new special drops every month and they've got a huge library of stand up specials to check out. Go to Hulu and get your stand up fix now.

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep Number Smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep Number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep Number does that too. Why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. Sleep Number Smart beds start at $999. Price is higher in Alaska and Hawaii. Exclusively at a Sleep Number store near you. C store or sleepnumber.com for details.

[Paige]

Hey, this is Paige from Giggly Squad and this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you with the best spring styles from boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from lots of your favorite brands like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard and Farm Rio. It's easy too, with free shipping and returns in store order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail] oh my God.

[Gold Belly Advertiser]

It's the coolest thing ever. Hey guys, have you heard of Gold Belly? Well check this out. It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic famous foods from restaurants across the country anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. They ship Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls, and even Ina Garten's famous cakes. Seriously. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your Life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT.

[BetterHelp Advertiser]

BetterHelp Online Therapy bought this 30 second ad to remind you right now, wherever you are, to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath in and out. Feels better, right? That's 15 seconds of self care. Imagine what you could do with more. Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax.

[Shahan]

Hi everyone, it's Shahan here. Today we are sharing the first episode of a brand new series on Rusty Quill's Neon Inkwell podcast Feed Broken Hearted Monsters. Classic horror meets joyful, bittersweet road trip dramas in this series about grief and acceptance. After Dr. Frankenstein is killed by an errant bolt of lightning, his estranged creature Frank must travel to his former home for the funeral. Frank, not wanting to face the bitter reality of an unresolved relationship, chooses instead to use it as an excuse to plan the ultimate road trip across America and inviting his ex boyfriend Dracula along for the ride. The wounds from their breakup are still fresh as they make their way across country, stopping at mundane tourist traps, eating at tacky diners, and dissecting their former romance, the good and the bad, before they reach their destination and a monstrous family reunion. Frank and Dracula have 2,000 miles, nine states and a whole lot to unpack. Broken Hearted Monsters is releasing weekly now on the Neon Inkwell Podcast feed. To listen, search for Neon Inkwell. Wherever you listen to podcasts, click the link in the show notes or visit rustyquill.com have fun and enjoy the episode.

[Dracula]

Rusty Quill Presents brokenhearted monsters Episode 1 Death and Romance.

[Frank]

Wow. I guess 5:30 on Monday is a bad time to start a road trip.

[Dracula]

It is all right. Just put on your podcast and take deep breaths.

[Frank]

Who needs podcasts when we've got each other?

[Dracula]

Put on the podcast.

[Frank]

Come on, Dracula. We haven't talked in months.

[Dracula]

That is how breakups work.

[Frank]

Yeah, totally. So see any good movies? Read any good books? Date any cute guys?

[Dracula]

Let us get something clear, Frank. I am here to deliver you to your evil dad's funeral and then I am on the first plane back to la. We are not discussing my personal life. We are not on a romantic getaway and we are not under any circumstances Getting back together.

[Frank]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was just making casual conversation.

[Dracula]

You were making a casual incursion into a part of my life you are banned from.

[Frank]

Okay, we are not there yet. Message received loud and clear. Personally, I'm doing great. Been hitting the gym, meditating, going to therapy. You know, I think you really needed this time alone to find out who Frank is.

[Dracula]

You have been going to therapy?

[Frank]

Well, I've been listening to a podcast about therapy, so, you know, I get it.

[Dracula]

Okay?

[Frank]

She letting us go?

[Dracula]

I do not think she's looking at us.

[Frank]

How am I supposed to tell? She's wearing the biggest sunglasses I've ever seen.

[Dracula]

Frank, the dogs.

[Frank]

Ma'am, are you letting us go?

[Dracula]

Frank, you are going to tip the car.

[Frank]

She wasn't looking at us.

[Dracula]

Well, she is now. Everyone is.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Hey, light's green, monster man.

[Frank]

Oh, is the light green? I hadn't noticed. Thanks for pointing that out.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

What's the matter? Full moon scramble in your brain? Go.

[Frank]

That's werewolves.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Do I look like a werewolf to you? You look like shit to me.

[Frank]

Go. Ha, ha. I'll be back in a minute. I'm just gonna go kill this man.

[Dracula]

Oh, I knew this was a mistake.

[Frank]

You know what? I'm good. As Monkey Rick would say, if you don't master your anger, your anger will master you.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

That's right. Listen to your boyfriend.

[Dracula]

Ignore him.

[Frank]

Oh, boy. You know, road rage hits differently when you're in a convertible. You know, it's like he's right there.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Hey, I don't want to be part of this conversation either.

[Dracula]

Why don't we put the top up for a bit? You know, like I suggested before we left.

[Frank]

Why would we rent a convertible and keep the top up?

[Dracula]

I don't know, Frank. Why would you rent a convertible?

[Frank]

Oh, just because of a little thing called the Great American Road Trip?

[Dracula]

This is not a road trip.

[Frank]

What do you call driving across nine states in a convertible?

[Dracula]

The biggest mistake of my life.

[Frank]

Oh, there's an opening.

[Dracula]

Yes, Frank.

[Frank]

It'S a war of attrition, baby. We are getting there.

[Dracula]

Look, when you asked me to come on this trip, I thought it would be less vacation and more processing.

[Frank]

Because of the dead dad thing?

[Dracula]

Yes, Frank, because of the dead dad thing.

[Frank]

Right. I don't know if I'm emotionally there yet, babe. I'll definitely be ready to talk about it after the funeral, though.

[Dracula]

I am not staying for the funeral. Frank, if you want a shoulder to cry on, it is here. Now, once we get to Pennsylvania.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, I get it. First flight back to la. It's a real pity that you're gonna miss the Carnival of Souls, though.

[Dracula]

I do not want to go to your family's weird funeral party. I want you to get the stuff out in the open so you do not explode like an atom bomb when you get there.

[Frank]

Okay? Okay. Can we get out of the city first? We've got 2,000 miles of open road ahead of us. I don't want to blow through all the juicy stuff in the first hour.

[Dracula]

Sir, when you are ready, I am here. You still have not told me how your dad died.

[Frank]

I haven't.

[Dracula]

Your dad is dead, right?

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Super dead.

[Dracula]

Not undead or technically dead because he transferred his brain into a fresh corpse.

[Frank]

No, I made sure it wasn't that before I rented the car.

[Dracula]

I swear, if I walk into that funeral and there is a head in a jar making shitty comments about the way I dress, I will never speak to you again.

[Frank]

No, no, no, no, no, no. He's like very dead in a totally regular way.

[Dracula]

Like a heart attack or a stroke?

[Frank]

Yeah, something like that.

[Dracula]

Something like that.

[Frank]

Well, apparently he was up on the roof fixing the lightning rod and I guess he got struck by lightning.

[Dracula]

I am so sorry.

[Frank]

11 times.

[Dracula]

I am so sorry.

[Frank]

He fell off the roof.

[Dracula]

Oh, Frank.

[Frank]

And was impaled on one of Mom's sculptures.

[Dracula]

Why don't you tell me when you are done?

[Frank]

No, that's pretty much it. Mom always said he spent too much time on the roof fiddling with his lightning rod.

[Dracula]

Oh.

[Frank]

Really, Dracula? Do you find something funny about the way my dad died?

[Dracula]

No.

[Frank]

Polishing the big round knob on the end of his lightning.

[Dracula]

Bob, this is Sylvia.

[Frank]

I am serious. You're the one who's laughing.

[Dracula]

Babe, you know what you are doing.

[Frank]

Look, I get that I'm supposed to feel bad about this, but I haven't spoken to him in years. This has literally no effect on my life.

[Dracula]

Frank.

[Frank]

No, honestly, I just feel bad for mom. She had to put up with his miserable ass for all these years and now she has to plan the dude's funeral.

[Dracula]

That sounds like hell. How is she holding up?

[Frank]

You know Mom.

[Dracula]

No, I do not. Frank. In six years of dating, we never met.

[Frank]

Really? That doesn't sound right.

[Dracula]

I would be inclined toward Me.

[Frank]

I don't know. I love mom, but she's always been weird about dad stuff. It sounds like she's thrown herself whole ass into carnival prep.

[Dracula]

Ah, the ancient art of avoidance has been passed down through the generations.

[Frank]

She's from a different generation. They're not as you Know, emotionally mature as you and Monkey Dick. You're jerking my stitches. But yeah, I've really grown. Thanks to Monkey Rick and the Mind jungle.

[Dracula]

Oh, yeah. How is your brother Frank?

[Frank]

Hey, look, It's Rosemary's.

[Dracula]

Yep, there it is.

[Frank]

God, we haven't been there in years. Should we.

[Dracula]

Absolutely not.

[Frank]

Come on. You love Rosemary's.

[Dracula]

I do not love it. It was just a dark place to go during the day. The floors were sticky. And the bartender called me Ichabod.

[Frank]

Yeah, we had some good times on those sticky floors. Drinking beer, shooting pool. Not a worry in the world.

[Dracula]

I do not drink beer. I do not play pool. I worry constantly.

[Frank]

Camilla rigged the jukebox so we could keep using the same dirty old quarter over and over again.

[Dracula]

And Wolfie would sit on that thing playing the cuckoo dolls on repeat until someone tore him away.

[Frank]

Yeah, the dogman loves the goo. Hey, remember the weekend we spent wallpapering the bathrooms with your old anime books?

[Dracula]

How could I forget? You got through half a wall before I realized you were tearing out my prized collection of vampire Prince Crybaby.

[Frank]

Well, in my defense.

[Dracula]

Do not say it, babe.

[Frank]

All your horny vampire mangas look the same.

[Dracula]

Do you really want to re litigate this argument? Do you remember who won last time?

[Frank]

I remember we agreed floor piles wasn't a cool way to organize a book collection.

[Dracula]

Well, I remember someone spent the next six months trawling yard sales in the boonies to replace them.

[Frank]

Sounds like a grand romantic gesture to me.

[Dracula]

It was a little bit romantic, though. Half of them were in Italian.

[Frank]

And you speak Italian?

[Dracula]

Yes, but vampire seduction has a distinctly unpleasant flavor when read in Italian.

[Frank]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that. That actually makes a lot of sense. You see the old gang much? Camilla Wolfman? The creature from the puce lagoon?

[Dracula]

Not really. I was indulging in some post breakup wallowing for a while. I was not in the mood for friends.

[Frank]

Yeah. You want to talk about it?

[Dracula]

No.

[Frank]

I kind of hope to see you at Camilla's wedding last month.

[Dracula]

Camilla got married?

[Frank]

Yeah, to Veronica. Real cool chick. Has a bike shop down by the water. She's in my CrossFit class.

[Dracula]

I did not even know she was dating someone.

[Frank]

You and Camilla used to be close?

[Dracula]

She was the first person I ever saw.

[Frank]

Wow. I don't think I knew that.

[Dracula]

There are many things you don't know about me.

[Frank]

I don't think that's true.

[Dracula]

It is.

[Frank]

I can't believe I never clocked you as exes, though.

[Dracula]

What?

[Frank]

I bet y'all look cute together. All gothic and moody. And pale, like a couple of haunted dolls.

[Dracula]

God, no. Camilla and I never. She was my business partner.

[BetterHelp Advertiser]

Ah.

[Frank]

Forbidden love.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Stop it.

[Dracula]

It was a purely transactional agreement. She wanted to live forever, and I needed an accountant who would not die every 50 years.

[Frank]

And are all Transylvanian accountants. Six foot four, beautiful Goth women.

[Dracula]

God, Frank, Camila is like a daughter to me.

[Frank]

Well, daughter probably would have, you know, invited you to her wedding.

[Dracula]

Wow.

[Frank]

Look, all I'm saying is everyone misses you. Dracula.

[Dracula]

Okay, well, whose fault is that?

[Frank]

Wait, what?

[Dracula]

Nothing. Please, can we stop talking about this?

[Frank]

They're your friends, too. Just because we. Fine.

[Dracula]

Thank you.

[Frank]

Sweet baby Satan. I am hungry. You hungry?

[Dracula]

I ate before we left.

[Frank]

All right, well, you let me know if you need to pull over and grab one of your Capri Suns from the trunk. We all know that the dark lord gets grungry when he hasn't had his drinky.

[Dracula]

Please stop talking about food.

[Frank]

Remember when we lost your cooler at Joshua Tree? Man, that was a trip. I thought you were gonna rip Tyler's head off and drink him like a smoothie.

[Dracula]

Frank.

[Frank]

Sorry. I know you don't like talking about this. That stuff. I'll keep it kosher from here on out. Are you okay?

[Dracula]

I am fine.

[Frank]

Really? You've downshifted three shades of pale since I picked you up.

[Dracula]

I said I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache from the sun.

[Frank]

Oh. Yeah. I'm so glad you still had the Dreadlord's ring. I spent an entire paycheck on this be. And it would have sucked if we couldn't pop that top and let loose.

[Dracula]

You know, I'm not really meant to wear this thing every day.

[Frank]

Yeah, I know. It's for special occasions.

[Dracula]

Emergencies.

[Frank]

Well, think of this as an emotional emergency.

[Dracula]

Is it?

[Frank]

Is it what?

[Dracula]

Is this an emotional emergency, Frank? Is that why I'm here?

[Frank]

I. I did.

[Dracula]

It is. Okay.

[Frank]

Gas station. We need fuel. We need to stop at the gas station.

[Dracula]

We have 20 minutes outside the city.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, but this thing is a real gas guzzler. But we're on vacation, so, you know, money doesn't matter.

[Dracula]

We are absolutely not on vacation.

[Frank]

I mean, technically, it's bereavement leave, but Doug made me use the last of my vacation days for the funeral. In my books, that's a vacation.

[Dracula]

Oh, Frank.

[Frank]

What?

[Dracula]

I will get the snacks. What do you want?

[Frank]

You don't have to do that.

[Dracula]

I think dead dad stuff is worth a couple of bag of chips. What do you want?

[Frank]

Okay. I could get used to this dead dad stuff. Can I get a big thing of iced tea and sharing? Bag of blastos, flavored, the limited edition Stevie Nicks Edge of Jalapeno if they have it, Speakeasy chutney if they don't. Yeah, thanks, Dracula.

[Dracula]

No problem, Frank. Keep it together. Dracula. You are not falling for that meat head again. Could I get a pack of Stalker Blues as well, please?

[Frank]

Anything for you. Well, look who it is. I don't want any trouble.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Dude, should have thought about that before you cut me off.

[Frank]

I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry a very normal thing happened to you in your car, and you let it ruin your day.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Ah, my day's going fine. I'm having a great day. Your day, though, it's not looking good.

[Frank]

Body bag.

[Dracula]

Look, I am not who you think I am.

[Frank]

No, dude, you totally are. I can feel it in the pit of my soul.

[Dracula]

Clearly, you are going through something and you need help, but I am not that person.

[Frank]

Please. It hurts all the time.

[Dracula]

Take your hand off me.

[Frank]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

It's just.

[Frank]

Maybe work on not being so miserable all the time, dude. You know, for all of us.

[Dracula]

You will get used to it.

[Frank]

Come on, man.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

That's not funny. I said I was sorry. That's my dead nascar.

[Frank]

Dracula, I. I can explain.

[Dracula]

We have to go.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Nobody's going anywhere until I get somebody's insurance. Shut up.

[Frank]

What's going on?

[Dracula]

Get in the car. I will explain later.

[Frank]

Have you tried therapy?

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Or maybe getting a dog?

[Frank]

Who's that?

[Dracula]

Nobody. Car.

[Frank]

Hey.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

You can't just flee the scene. You call the police.

[Frank]

You should check out Monkey Rick's wellness pod. What? What?

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

They're getting away.

[Frank]

Sorry, dude. Can't call the cops on the dragon. What? You're smoking?

[Dracula]

Yep.

[Frank]

But you work so hard to quit.

[Dracula]

Yes. After the breakup, I kind of fell off the wagon.

[Frank]

Which wagon?

[Dracula]

You know, all of them.

[Frank]

Oh. Oh, okay. So you've been drinking?

[Dracula]

Drinking, siding. Just sort of doing the whole thing.

[Frank]

The whole thing.

[Dracula]

Mm.

[Frank]

So that lady was one of your.

[Dracula]

Probably.

[Frank]

Probably.

[Dracula]

It has been a bit of a blur. A lot of shirtless twinks in darkened alleyways, you know?

[Frank]

Oh.

[Dracula]

After we broke up, I.

[Frank]

After you broke up with me?

[Dracula]

After you punched a hole in my kitchen wall?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Dracula]

That night when you left, I sat on the kitchen floor and stared at the wall for hours. No tears, no anger, just nothing. Before we met, I had been alone for decades. I was used to being alone. It was actually quite comforting. Like an armor of silence. But when you left and the loneliness returned. It felt different. It felt cold and dangerous. And I needed to feel anything other than that feeling. So I started making friends. Cheap, disposable friends that could not reject me.

[Frank]

Camilla, Pusey, Wolfie.

[Dracula]

They were your friends.

[Frank]

They're your friends too, Dracula. They care about you. They miss you. They're worried about you.

[Dracula]

I know they are good people, but they will always be your friends. First. I could not face them after everything that happened.

[Frank]

All of them have.

[Dracula]

Can we not do this right now, please?

[Frank]

Okay, so why did you agree to come on this road trip with me?

[Dracula]

I don't know. Maybe I am not exactly operating with deliberate intent at the moment.

[Frank]

Well, I guess that makes two of us.

[Dracula]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Yeah. Asking you to come with me was crazy. But I wanted to, so I did. Maybe it was a stupid and selfish thing to do, but I'm starting to think through some sort of mystical alignment of spiritual woo woo, it was like the only right thing to do.

[Dracula]

God, I wish I had your brain sometimes.

[Frank]

Well, you got it, babe. For the duration of this trip, my brain is yours. You help me get to the dead dad thing without freaking out and running away, and I stop you from creating an army of svelte shadow twinks. It's a perfect symbiotic relationship.

[Dracula]

I would not go so far as to call the situation perfect, but I guess it makes some kind of messed up sense here. Frank, are you sure?

[Frank]

I've never been more sure about anything in my life, babe.

[Dracula]

Okay. In that case, I think I would like to go to the funeral with you.

[Frank]

Oh, you don't have to. I.

[Dracula]

No, I want to. It is not about you. I need to meet your family. You owe that to me after six years of dating.

[Frank]

Okay. Anything for you, babe.

[Dracula]

Oh, and Frank?

[Frank]

Yes, Dracula?

[Dracula]

We are putting the goddamn top up so I can take this goddamn ring off.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. Of course.

[Dracula]

I have got an abyssal migraine so wide you could squeeze an Elder God through it.

[Frank]

I'm on it. I'm on it. You know, Dracula, I'm really glad I asked you to come with me.

[Dracula]

Me too, Frank. Me too. Did I see you flip a car over back there? Brokenhearted Monsters is a neon ankle podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution Non commercial share alike 4.0 international licen this series is written and created by Shane and Morgan Ormond and script consultation and directing by Amani Zardioni. This episode was edited by Nico Vitesse, Kathryn Seton, Tessa Vroom, Meg McKellar and Catherine Brunello with music from Nico Vitesse. It featured Kai Partena as Dracula, Marcus Bobisic as Frank, Evelyn McCauley as Esme, Alistair Catto as Perfy, Beth Ayer as Camilla, with additional voices from Ash Kelly, Ted Hazzard, Paul Kundarian, Philomena Sherwood, S.H. hamza and Karim Crumflip. Neon Inkwell is produced by April Sumner with executive producer Alexander J. Newell and showrunner Elizabeth Monk. To subscribe, view associated materials or join our Patreon visit rustyquill.com Rate and review us online. Tweet us thererustyquill, visit us on Facebook or email [e-mail] thanks for listening.

[Frank]

Foreign.

[Shahan]

The next episode of Brokenhearted Monsters on the Neon Inkwell Podcast feed, which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts linked in the description or on rustyquill.com thanks for listening.

[Paige]

Hey, this is Paige from Giggly Squad and this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Nordstrom is here to help you dress in a way that feels totally you, with the best spring styles from boho dresses and matching sets to must have bags and sneakers. Discover thousands of items from lots of your favorite brands like Mango Reformation, Veronica Beard and Farm Rio. It's easy too, with free shipping and returns in store order pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail] hey guys.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Have you heard of Gold Belly? It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic famous foods from restaurants across the country anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. They ship Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls and even Ina Garten's famous cakes. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your Life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code. Gift Auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USA Auto insurance and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote Today restrictions apply.

[Frank]

USAA ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

[Dracula]

Here's a show that we recommend.

[Frank]

They.

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

Said over and over and over again and we just ignored it.

[Frank]

What if a warning siren sounds from Lawfare and Goat Rodeo? This is Escalation, a podcast about the.

[Gold Belly Advertiser]

United States and Ukraine.

[Frank]

We were all living in a bureaucratic process and Putin's living in the world of hard power.

[Dracula]

And the word escalation.

[Boost Mobile Advertiser]

Everyone just says it.

[Dracula]

This latest Escalation paralyzed because of nuclear escalation. And you know what is interesting about the war? When you don't want to understand the war from the distance, it comes closer and closer.

[Frank]

Escalation is out now. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[BetterHelp Advertiser]

ACAST helps.

[Frank]

Creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

[Dracula]

Acast.

[Frank]

Com.