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James
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Laurie
Hi everyone, it's Laurie, voice of Celia in the Magnus Protocol. I'm here to tell you about Broken Hearted Monsters, a brand new series on Rusty Quill's Neon Inkwell podcast feed. After Dr. Frankenstein is killed by an errant bolt of lightning, his estranged creature Frank must travel to his former home for the funeral. Frank, not wanting to face the bitter reality of an unresolved relationship, chooses instead to use it as an excuse to plan the ultimate road trip across America and invites his ex boyfriend Dracula along for the ride. Before they reach their destination and a monstrous family reunion, Frank and Dracula have 2,000 miles, nine states and a whole lot to unpack. Brokenhearted Monsters is releasing weekly now on the Neon Inkwell podcast feed. To listen, search for Neon Inkwell wherever you listen to podcasts or visit rustyquill.com.
James
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James
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com this episode is dedicated to Oliver Kaminsky it would be really funny if we gave you a job offer. I mean, we've never met you or even heard of you before in our lives, but you give off this really specific vibe even through just this message you wrote out for us to read to you. It would be really funny if we offered you an acting position for the bit. We probably won't though.
Rusty Quill Producer
Rusty Quill presents the Magnus Protocol Episode 35 terms and conditions.
Alice
Ethernet is a layer 2 protocol in the OSI LAN model that uses frames governed by. Ethernet is a layer 2 protocol in the OSI LAN model that uses frames governed by CSMA CD or CSMA CA with VLANs using IEEE 802.1Q, all of which is monitored by SNMP, which is itself this is what you get going well, you've got to assert yourself with textbooks. It's the only way they'll respect You.
Laurie
I see.
Alice
I don't get it. I just don't. Most of it's not even words. It's just stupid tech noise.
Laurie
What are you even reading?
Alice
Ah, I thought it might help.
Laurie
Makes sense. Friend of mine used one to set up a podcast.
Alice
Windows 95 was the closest I could find. Turns out they don't sell a bullshit Ancient man eating evil databases for dummies.
Laurie
That feels like an oversight.
Alice
Yeah, well, it wouldn't make a difference even if I did have it. Colin wasn't even writing in English by the end. And what I can figure out, let's just say he was a few rams short of a hard drive.
Laurie
I don't think that works as a chill.
Alice
Yeah, I know. How's things your end?
Laurie
Not much better, honestly. Did some more digging into the Magnus Institute and just more alchemy stuff.
Alice
What, like lead into gold?
Laurie
Among other things. Seems like it was their big thing, but honestly, it feels like another dead end.
Alice
Keep trying, Alice. Did you have any luck with Freddy?
Laurie
Well, I did what you suggested, trawling all cases for anything familiar. And I did find something.
Alice
Oh, yeah?
Laurie
Yeah. But I don't know how helpful it's gonna be.
Terence Menke
Hm. Prison Strangeways Inmate Records Pbew 20230814 M69782. Entry reads, Parole Board for England and Wales, M69782TM. Hearing 14, August 2023, HM Prison Strangeways, Manchester. Transcript as follows. Chair. Morning, all. This hearing is convened as of 11:06am Monday 14 August 2023, to consider parole for inmate M69782TM. Mr. Terence Menke of Strangeways Prison, held on multiple counts of murder, along with various associated crimes and misdemeanors. I am the panel chair, Mr. Obadiah Quint. To my left is our psychologist, Dr. Lindsay Harris, and to my right is Mr. Alan Stolas of the Elric Rehabilitation Initiative, our independent for today. Stolas. Good morning, Chair. We're also joined by Mr. Menke's legal representative, Ms. Felika Ross, along with Ms. Chloe Leahy for the prosecution. Sana Beard has victim support and Parole Officer Connors, Cat Suge. Oh, and Rune Laverne is sitting in as stenographer for today. Thank you, Mrs. Laverne. Can I get confirmation from the panel before we proceed? Confirmed. Stolas. Looks good to me, Chair. Excellent. In that case, let's hear opening statements from you, Ms. Ross, when you're ready. Thank you. I must clarify, however, that rather than seeking parole today, my Client has, in fact, fact expressed a desire not to be released at this time. Chair. I see. I presume no objections to that. Miss. None at all. I seized the crown. Chair. And how about our advocate? Beard? We would have objected to any parole anyway. Chair. Understandable in the circumstances. In that case, does anyone have anything else to raise before we consult? I do. Since Mr. Menke's arrest in February of 2000, he has shown no remorse for his actions. In fact, in his most recent psychological evaluation, he was asked if he had any regrets. He replied, I hadn't finished yet. Beard. Christ, Harris. If that's how he views his crimes, then it seems odd to me that he would wish to remain incarcerated. I am given to understand that Mr. Menke has been receiving threatening mail and for his acts of reprisal. Stolas. There is a record of an investigation in his file. That's true, but it was found that there was no credible threat. No. Chair. Mr. Menke, you will speak only when directly addressed. Is that understood? Katsuj. It was just some kid's drawings. That's not it. Chair. Mr. Ross, control your client or I will have him removed. My apologies. Paris. If I may. Chair. Proceed, Harris. Mr. Menke, could you please tell us who you believe has threatened you? Chair. You may answer the question, Mr. Menke. You won't believe me. Answer the question, Mr. Menke. They were sent to me by Mr. Bonzo, for Christ's sake. Oh, I'm sorry, but this is obscene. We cannot let this hearing be used to mock his victims and their families. Ms. Ross, any further disrespect from your client and he will be ejected from these proceedings. Am I understood? Of course. Stolas. Mr. Menke, could you tell us a bit more about your relationship with Mr. Bonzo? Mr. Quit. Will you please put a stop to this? Chair. Where are you going with this? Alan? Please humor me. Chair. Fine. But this is the last time, you understand. Answer the question, Mr. Menke. What would you like to know, Stolas? As much as you care to tell me. Menke. Okay. Mr. Bonzo used to be everywhere growing up. Like God. He was like God in a lot of ways, really. He was always there, always had time for me. He was dancing on the telly when dad lost his job. Singing on the radio when things got worse. And watching from the billboard outside when Mum topped herself. Dad liked to pretend he went to church. But I used to pray to Bonzo, and he'd just smile and wave like normal. But I knew deep down they heard me. I remember he Was making a huge omelette. When I hammered Dad's head in, there were smashed eggs all over the studio. I remember laughing because it was just so funny. Both of us making such a mess. Wasn't a real one, though, you know, just kid stuff. But still, I thought maybe he'd be proud of me. My first proper try was much better. Of course, I was still finding my feet. Barely had a costume, Just a mask, really, with his big wobbly ears. But you have to start somewhere, don't you? And when I looked on the TV that Saturday night, there he was, as always. This time he was breaking violins and the audience kept yelling, practice makes perfect. That was when I knew that he knew. And we both laughed and laughed as the audience cheered us on. Next one was much better. I did it with a Father Christmas costume I bought in Woolworths. And I put down some past it to catch a spray. I knew he was impressed because that Saturday he did a double length Christmas special. We could have gone on like that forever. I think my costumes weren't all that. Not like his, but they didn't have to be. You just do your bonzo best. But then I went and spoiled it all for a stupid joke. I wanted to surprise him for a change, really give him a giggle. And I guess maybe I thought I'd earned it. I spent ages on the costume. Made it myself, from scratch. None of that cheap kids rubbish. I wanted it to be proper. But it was gonna be tricky this time. It wasn't enough to just do it. I needed people to see it happen. That way they'd think it was him. And then I could take the mask off and he would realise it was me all along. He'd see me. He'd finally see me properly and we'd laugh and laugh and laugh. I got it done easy enough. Don't really remember much about it, to be honest. Judge told me I used a crowbar and I don't think he'd lie about it. Anyway, everyone was screaming and running and I could barely stand for laughing. And that was when the filth tackled me. I mean, what are the chances a couple of random coppers just happened to be walking by at that exact moment? But honestly, if anything, it just made the whole thing funnier. I tried to stand and shake them off, but I couldn't stop laughing. Besides, the suit was really bulky and I couldn't really see very well. It was tight, though. Tighter than it had felt. When I put it on, I could barely breathe and it was slick inside. I must have Been sweating buckets. Obviously, I didn't get to see Bonzo that night because I was locked up. I asked for a tv, but they just told me. She shut up. I knew I'd get to see him eventually, though. After all, he was Mr. Bonzo. He was everywhere. Or at least he had been. But as weeks went by, it was like he'd disappeared. He wa'n't on the radio anymore, weren't on tv, and they took down his billboards. It was like everyone had decided to pretend he'd never existed. I honestly started to feel like I was going crazy. That was why I yelled at Mr. Dickerson in the trial. I thought if anyone knew where he'd gone, it would be his best mate. But he just got angry and said horrible things about me. That was when I started to worry. What if he hadn't found it funny? What if he was insulted? What if he was angry? I wanted to find him to tell him I was sorry. To let him know I would never do anything to upset him. But that was when they put me here. I tried explaining it to them, but every time I did, I just ended up back in solitary. So eventually I just stopped trying. I did get some letters from fans at first, but that soon stopped. I don't know, it was weird. I don't think they wanted to talk about Mr. Bonzo at all. Eventually, I got used to being in here. It's not so bad at the end of the day. Didn't have much of a life outside anyway. But then the letters started again. Only this time it wasn't from fans. At first I thought it was something from the lawyers, maybe to do with parole, since I had my name and a number on the envelope. But the paper was yellow with orange flecks and it had a massive thumbprint on the corner in purple ink. I saw that and I knew what it was, who it was from. I was shaking so much I couldn't even open it. Just holding it felt like. I don't know, like blasphemy. But the guards had already opened it. So after a while I just peeled it apart and looked inside. It was an old Mr. Bonzo car, but I couldn't tell what type because everything was scratched off the front apart from his face, which was staring up at me. I was so happy to see him after all these years, to finally be seen again. But his face was wrong. Instead of his happy googly eyes, these were fixed in place, staring at me. And he wasn't smiling. He looked angry. Car was warped, so it Took a moment to prise it open, but once I had, I found a message scored inside in childish letters with smudge purple ink. Just one line. Mr. Bonzo's on his way. I wanted to tell someone, but last time I said his name they put me in solitary, so kept quiet, didn't I? The next one arrived a few weeks later. This one was larger and got a bit of attention when it came through. Looked like it was one of those big cards for a big birthday, the kind where someone's friends and family would be there. I didn't want to take it, but they insisted. So I carried it back to bed and opened it in there alone. Same paper, same purple ink on the envelope. Even more smudged this time. And it was difficult to pull the card out as it was so bent, as if it had been wetted then dried. Mr. Bonzo was there again, staring at me through the scratches on the COVID with those fixed, angry eyes. Bigger card meant I could see all the details. And I could see Mr. Bonzo warn't just angry, he was furious. I was travelling all over when I opened the card and found that child writing inside. He wants to stay. The last one came a few days ago. He was enormous. I had to sign a special form to get it and everything felt like I was looking at one of those big charity checks he used to give out and hit people over the head with. And there was so much purple ink that it looked like he'd spilled paint. I needed help to pull the mangled card out and our hands were all covered in the ink, which was somehow still wet. Almost all of it was destroyed, leaving only those eyes and his huge mouth, which was open, open wide and deep. I didn't need to open it to know what was written inside, but the people helping insisted. The paper was gouged with the force that it had been marked more stabbed than written, but I could still make out the words. He wants to play with you. Since then I've been trying to stay in solitary as much as possible. It's better there. Thicker walls, stronger gates. But he won't help. I love Mr. Bonzo with all my art, but I don't think he likes me anymore. Mr. Bonzo's on his way. He wants to stay. He wants to play with me. Chair. Right. Well, er, Miss Ross, is any of this true? The cards, I mean. I'm not entirely sure. I was informed he'd received some strange mail, but nothing like that. Thank you, Mr. Menke. That's all I needed to hear. Right. Well, in that case, I would like to formally recommend Mr. Menke for referral to the Elric Rehabilitation Initiative as soon as possible. Chair. Alan Stolas. He's a perfect candidate, and I think we could do a lot with him. I'm sorry, but this is completely unacceptable. The Crown cannot condone this. No, ross. Sit down. Mr. Menkey. He's on his way, Chair. I warned you, Mr. Menkey. He wants to play with me. Chair. Get him out of here. Katsuj, watch out. He's got Ross. Mr. Menkey. What? Transcription ends due to interruption I'll tell.
Alice
You the same thing I told Sam. Some bureaucrat misfiled some paperwork a hundred years ago, and now we're just running out the clock every night, trapped in some weird, overlooked legacy department. It's funny, I used to take comfort in that. Knowing that we were on our own.
Laurie
But there must be patterns.
Terence Menke
Nope.
Laurie
What? No commonalities between cases?
Alice
I mean, the system has, what, two or three thousand classifications? Some of them must come up more often, I guess.
Laurie
Sure, but they're all so precise. Have you never tried to sort them into themes like darkness or disease or being buried alive or something?
James
Why would I do that?
Alice
Besides, I'd say being buried alive is pretty bloody specific.
Laurie
Okay, but not just literally buried alive. Metaphorically, too. Like stuff about being crushed in advice or in debt, maybe.
Alice
I don't know what you want from me, Celia. I've never noticed anything like that until recently. It was just pointless. Admin all the way down. Speak of the devil.
Laurie
What now? Sorry, I'm a bit repressed.
Terence Menke
Stress.
Alice
Pull up a pew.
Terence Menke
What?
Alice
Bum seat.
Terence Menke
Coffee?
Laurie
No, thank you. So what happens now?
Alice
This is pretty much it. Misery, company, etc.
Laurie
Right. So what is wrong? It's Lena's handover. I was able to recover some old emails, but they're not exactly helpful. No, not really. It's just going on and on about how important it is to balance the books. Alice, do you know if someone named William Price ever worked here?
Alice
If he did, it was before my time.
Laurie
Hang on. Bill Price? And he wants to balance the books? That's got to be a fake name, right?
Alice
I don't know. There was this woman who worked at my local Barclays called Laura Money.
Laurie
Either way, I don't think they're actually talking about budgeting.
Alice
Gwen, listen, there's absolutely no shame in struggling with a new role.
Laurie
Exactly.
Alice
Unless, of course, you just weaseled your way into it by betraying the one person you might actually have known what was going on and are now slowly going Mad. Trapped in your office as everything collapses around us. In that case, there's probably quite a lot of shame.
Laurie
Good talk.
Alice
Just a big, steaming pile of shame. What?
Laurie
I don't think that was helpful.
Alice
It helped me. What the hell is. Teddy?
James
Oh, hi, Alice. Sorry.
Alice
Good.
Laurie
That hurt.
Alice
What are you doing here? Haven't seen you in weeks. There's been so much going on and. You don't need to hear about that right now. How have you been? What's with all the.
James
Tech?
Alice
I was going to say shattered effigies of 20th century hubris, but sure, let's go with tech.
James
Yeah, it is a bit out of date, isn't it?
Alice
You look like you're scrapping my primary school's computer room.
James
It's just stuff at a new job, you know.
Alice
You found something, then?
James
Oh, yeah.
Alice
Anything exciting?
James
It's fine. Lots of fetching and carrying with a bit of tech support, but it pays all right. How's stuff back at the old Horde?
Alice
Honestly? Pretty bad. You got out at the right time.
James
New guy still holding up?
Alice
He. He moved on.
James
That's a shame. I kind of liked him. Well, listen, I should probably get going. Don't want to keep people waiting on their equipment.
Alice
No, yeah, of course. Look after yourselves. Teddy.
James
You too.
Terence Menke
Sure.
James
I'm sorry. I'm on my way. Okay. It won't happen again.
Rusty Quill Producer
The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non commercial share alike 4.0 international license. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J. Newell and directed by Alexander J. Newell. This episode was written by Alexander J. Newell and edited with additional materials by Jonathan Sims, with vocal edits by Nico Vitezzi, soundscaping by Magma Keller, and mastering by Catherine Rinella, with music by Sam Jones. It featured Billy Hindle as Alice Dyer, Anusha Battersby as Gwen Bouchard, Lorianne Davis as Celia Ripley, Kazim Tosin Amour as Teddy Vaughan, with additional voices from Alexander J. Newell, the Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner with executive producers Alexander J. Newell, Danny McDonagh, Lynn C. And Samantha F.G. hamilton, and Associate producers Jordan L. Hawke, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Pillman, Cetius de Raven and Megan Nice to subscribe View associated materials or join our Patreon visit rustyquill.com Rate and review us online. Tweet us hereustyquill, visit us on Facebook or email us via mail rustyquill.com thanks for listening.
Terence Menke
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Alice
Boost Mobile is offering a 30 day money back guarantee.
Terence Menke
No, I asked why wouldn't you switch from Verizon or T Mobile? Wouldn't because you love wasting money as a way to punish yourself because your mother never showed you enough love as a child. Whoa, easy there.
Rusty Quill Producer
Yeah.
Terence Menke
Applies to online activations, requires port in and auto pay. Customers activating in stores may be charged non refundable activation fees.
Laurie
Hi everyone, it's Laurie, voice of Celia in the Magnus Protocol. I'm here to tell you about Broken Hearted Monsters, a brand new series on Rusty Quill's Neon Inkwell podcast feed. After Dr. Frankenstein is killed by an errant bolt of lightning, his estranged creature Frank must travel to his former home for the funeral. Frank, not wanting to face the bitter reality of an unresolved relationship, chooses instead to use it as an excuse to plan the ultimate road trip across America and invites his ex boyfriend Dracula along for the ride. Before they reach their destination and a monstrous family reunion, Frank and Dracula have 2,000 miles, nine states, and a whole lot to unpack. Brokenhearted Monsters is releasing weekly now on the Neon Inkwell Podcast feed. To listen, search for Neon Inkwell wherever you listen to podcasts or visit rustyquill.com hey folks, it's Marc Maron here, host of WTF with Marc Maron on Acast. I've been doing this show a long time, more than 15 years. Research shows that 74% of listeners recall the brands they hear when listening to podcasts. So if you're a business owner or marketer and you want your business to be top of mind, podcast advertising with ACAST is the way to go. Run podcast ads with acast by visiting go.acast.commarcus.
Summary of "The Magnus Protocol 35 - Terms and Conditions"
Overview
In Episode 35 of The Magnus Protocol, titled "Terms and Conditions," listeners are immersed in a chilling exploration of bureaucratic nightmares intertwined with supernatural undertones within the Magnus Institute's archives. This installment delves deep into the parole hearing of Terence Menke, unraveling layers of psychological tension, eerie phenomena, and institutional dysfunction. The episode masterfully blends procedural elements with horror fiction, maintaining suspense and engagement throughout.
Main Plot: Terence Menke's Parole Hearing
The episode centers around the parole hearing of Terence Menke at HM Prison Strangeways, Manchester. Presided over by Chairman Mr. Obadiah Quint, the panel includes psychologist Dr. Lindsay Harris and Mr. Alan Stolas from the Elric Rehabilitation Initiative. Terence, charged with multiple counts of murder, presents a complex psychological profile that raises unsettling questions about his true motives and mental state.
During the hearing, Terence reveals a disturbing relationship with a mysterious figure named Mr. Bonzo. His testimony is fraught with cryptic references and unsettling anecdotes that blur the lines between reality and hallucination. At [07:00], Terence recounts:
“Mr. Bonzo's on his way. He wants to play with you.”
This declaration sets a foreboding tone, suggesting that Mr. Bonzo may not be a mere figment of Terence's imagination but a tangible, possibly malevolent presence.
Character Interactions: Alice and Laurie
Parallel to Terence's hearing, the episode showcases interactions between Alice Dyer and Laurie Bouchard, two key figures navigating the labyrinthine archives of the Magnus Institute. Their dialogues reveal deeper layers of institutional malaise and hint at larger, unexplained anomalies within their cases.
At [21:04], Laurie insists on the existence of patterns in their cases:
“But there must be patterns.”
Alice counters skeptically:
“Besides, I'd say being buried alive is pretty bloody specific.” ([21:30])
Their conversation underscores the frustration of seeking meaning in seemingly random and esoteric cases, highlighting the theme of isolation within bureaucratic systems.
Unfolding Mysteries: The Case of William Price
The investigation into Lena's handover introduces the enigmatic figure William Price. Laurie’s inquiry about Price's involvement leads to cryptic responses from Alice, further deepening the mystery:
“If he did, it was before my time.” ([22:55])
The elusive nature of William Price and the reference to balancing the books hint at hidden agendas and undisclosed information lurking within the Institute, suggesting that Terence’s case might be part of a larger, more sinister pattern.
Supernatural Elements: The Threat of Mr. Bonzo
Terence's descriptions of Mr. Bonzo introduce a supernatural thread that weaves through the episode. The delivery of ominous cards, each more threatening than the last, and Terence’s subsequent behaviors suggest that Mr. Bonzo embodies a malevolent force capable of influencing reality. This culminates in Terence’s final revelation:
“He wants to play with you.” ([25:26])
This line not only serves as a chilling warning but also propels the narrative toward impending supernatural confrontation.
Notable Quotes with Speaker Attribution and Timestamps
Themes and Insights
Institutional Bureaucracy vs. Supernatural Reality: The tension between rigid institutional procedures and the unpredictable nature of supernatural occurrences highlights the struggle to maintain control in the face of the unknown.
Isolation and Mental Deterioration: Terence's descent into paranoia and his fixation on Mr. Bonzo illustrate the fine line between reality and madness, a recurring theme in horror fiction.
Hidden Agendas and Unseen Forces: The elusive references to figures like William Price and the cryptic nature of Terence's case suggest that there are larger, hidden forces at play within the Magnus Institute.
Conclusion
"Terms and Conditions" serves as a compelling episode that intertwines procedural drama with supernatural horror, creating a narrative rich in tension and mystery. Through the intricate portrayal of Terence Menke's parole hearing and the ongoing investigations by Alice and Laurie, the episode deepens the lore of the Magnus Institute while setting the stage for future confrontations with malevolent entities like Mr. Bonzo. As the boundaries between bureaucratic mundanity and otherworldly terror blur, listeners are left anticipating the next leg of this haunting journey.