Broken Glass: 6

Summary

The Man Who Calculated Death: Episode 6 - "Broken Glass" Detailed Summary

---

Introduction: Revisiting the Past

In Episode 6, titled "Broken Glass," of The Man Who Calculated Death podcast by PodcastOne, host Suzanne Rico delves deeper into the turbulent history of her family, unraveling mysteries that have long been shrouded in secrecy. Released on April 15, 2025, this episode takes listeners on an emotional journey as Suzanne and her sister Stephanie confront the haunting legacy left by their grandfather, inventor Robert Lusser, and the impact of his work for the Third Reich.

---

Exploring the Stuttnerhof Farm: A Place Steeped in Memory

The episode opens with Suzanne and Stephanie visiting the Stuttnerhof Farm, a location imbued with their grandmother Hilde’s memories. As they navigate the picturesque Bavarian countryside, the sisters recount their mother's stories of her childhood during World War II. The farm, now a vacation spot, becomes the setting for their quest to uncover the truth behind the mysterious bombing that devastated their family.

“We drove over 300 miles to get here, arriving just as the blue of evening fades to black.” (00:25)

---

The Tragic Bombing: Unveiling the Past

Suzanne and Stephanie recount the harrowing events of March 13, 1945, when their grandmother Hilde was killed in a mysterious bombing raid. The sisters explore the remnants of bomb craters and wartime destruction still visible on the farm grounds. Alois, Suzanne’s husband, provides firsthand accounts of the physical scars left by the bombs, noting, “Some craters served as what Alois calls shitholes.” (26:20)

The narrative intensifies as they discover discrepancies in family lore versus historical records. While the family believed the bombs were a targeted retaliation by the British Royal Air Force against their grandfather's involvement in the V1 program, official records tell a different story.

“But no one has ever been able to prove it. Not even my mom.” (30:52)

---

Family Investigation: Letters and Hidden Truths

Determined to uncover the truth, Suzanne and Stephanie examine their mother's unanswered letters to experts and the British Secret Intelligence Service (SIS). These letters sought to clarify whether the bombing was a calculated attack or a tragic accident. Stephanie reveals, “Here she is. And I believe this is one of the letters where she did not get an answer.” (31:19)

The investigation leads to conflicting accounts of the number of bombs dropped and their intended targets. Alois shares his recollections, “Four Lancaster bombers. That's what I heard.” (30:52), while family lore mentions a different number, “...she had to spend years mowing around them because you couldn't mow through them.” (26:04). This inconsistency raises more questions than answers.

---

Revelations at the Farmhouse: A New Perspective

As the sisters explore the farmhouse, they uncover a memorial stone carved by Alois, revealing a startling truth:

“On March 13, 1945, our property was destroyed. A woman lost her life.” (34:02)

This inscription contradicts the family's long-held belief that the bombing was orchestrated by the British as retribution against Robert Lusser. Instead, it suggests that an American plane was responsible for the devastation, a revelation that shatters the family's narrative.

“An American plane. The pieces of the puzzle always put together on the bedrock belief that the bombs that left a mother of five with a broken neck.” (34:44)

---

Confronting the Unknown: The Aftermath and Emotional Toll

The episode delves into the emotional aftermath of the bombing. Sophie Rossi voices the lingering grief and unanswered questions that have plagued the family for decades. Heidi, Suzanne’s mother, reflects on the trauma experienced by her siblings:

“I just know she's dead. I just know.” (18:03)

The discovery that the bombing may not have been as previously believed forces the family to reevaluate their history and the legacy of Robert Lusser.

---

Conclusion: A Path Forward Amidst Shattered Truths

As Episode 6 concludes, Suzanne and Stephanie are left grappling with the newfound evidence that challenges their understanding of their family's past. The revelation that an American aircraft may have been responsible for the bombing introduces a complex layer to their family's history, intertwining personal loss with broader wartime narratives.

“They never even considered this scenario before. An American plane. The pieces of the puzzle always put together on the bedrock belief that the bombs were British.” (34:50)

The sisters vow to continue their investigation, seeking closure and a deeper understanding of their ancestry. This episode not only uncovers pivotal moments from their family's history but also highlights the enduring quest for truth amidst personal and historical complexities.

---

Notable Quotes

• Gabi Rico: “We drove over 300 miles to get here, arriving just as the blue of evening fades to black.” (00:25)
• Stephanie: “That's our grandmother.” (34:24)
• Heidi: “I know she's dead. I know she's dead.” (18:03)
• Alois: “Four Lancaster bombers. That's what I heard.” (30:52)
• Gabi Rico: “An American plane. The pieces of the puzzle always put together on the bedrock belief that the bombs were British.” (34:44)

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 6, "Broken Glass," masterfully intertwines personal narratives with historical investigation, revealing how deeply past events shape present identities. Suzanne Rico effectively captures the emotional weight of uncovering family secrets, making this episode a poignant addition to The Man Who Calculated Death series. Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next installment, where the siblings will continue to piece together their family's intricate history.

---

For more information, including family footage, photos, videos, and archival material, visit themanwocalculateddeath.com.

Transcript

[Suzanne Rico]

Hi, everyone, it's Suzanne Rico. Just a quick reminder that new episodes of the man who Calculated Death are available for free every Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening. And now onto the show.

[Gabi]

Oh, this is a little creepy.

[Heidi]

Big time.

[Gabi]

Just stay close to me. My sister and I are stumbling around in a small graveyard next to a yellow church.

[Stephanie]

This is dark.

[Gabi]

We drove over 300 miles to get here, arriving just as the blue of evening fades to black. Can you see sort of.

[Stephanie]

Kind of.

[Gabi]

Soft moonlight outlines the headstones.

[Stephanie]

Look at the full moon.

[Gabi]

A big orange globe rising above the town's 15th century castle. Bright enough to make out a stag's head mounted above the entrance.

[Stephanie]

Beautiful.

[Gabi]

Look at the candles burning on these graves. This one's real. They're real candles. But even with the moonlight and old school candles, Stephanie and I need our phones, flashlights to follow the same gravel path. Our mother walked through this cemetery over 70 years ago.

[Stephanie]

I said, these are all old graves. She must have walked by these down to where they had the new graves. And she describes how she knew and she didn't want to know. And she knew and she didn't want.

[Gabi]

To know what our mother knew back when she was a 7 year old German girl called Gabi, and what she didn't want to know. That's a story my sister and I begged to hear over and over again when we were kids.

[Stephanie]

She just. She took out all the pain and sadness.

[Gabi]

I know she never ever, like, connected it to herself.

[Stephanie]

No, she made it exciting. And I never remember feeling sad.

[Gabi]

It was more like, come on, we want to hear that story again. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stephanie]

It was like a Grimm's Fairy tales, you know, she told it like that.

[Gabi]

This legendary scene from our mother's childhood took place in the spring. The Lessers had moved from the abandoned mansion in Kassel, the city where they'd survived that firebombing, to a farm in the country for safety. Wildflowers bloomed all over the fields. The war almost over and the family's happy ending seemed so very close. Is it this one?

[Stephanie]

Oh, yeah, this is.

[Gabi]

Moonlight shines on an imposing granite cross. This one, shoulder height, about 3ft wide. The gravestone is so spotted with lichen that we have trouble reading the date. We stole it.

[Heidi]

March 3rd on March 13th.

[Gabi]

So we dropped to our knees. Flashlights zoomed in close. Died March 13, 1945. There's a simple Bible quote.

[Stephanie]

Leben wird Solvenwild. We live, so we live from God. We die, so we die from God. Therefore, if we Live or die. So we are from God.

[Gabi]

There's also the carving of a mother and five kids. Look at the children under her arms. We're kneeling at our grandmother's grave.

[Stephanie]

Oh, God.

[Gabi]

A woman who died a mysterious and violent death at the age of 41. God. Five children. Leaving all those kids, including our mom, suddenly alone.

[Stephanie]

It wasn't a fairy tale. No, it was pain.

[Gabi]

But in this quiet graveyard, shoulder to shoulder with my sister in the moonlight.

[Stephanie]

God, I miss you so much. Me too.

[Gabi]

Our mom's spirit is right there with us. And it makes me more determined than ever to separate fact from fairy tale. To find out what really happened the day my grandmother was killed. A tragedy kept secret from our mother until the spring day. She walked this graveyard path.

[Stephanie]

Nobody told her anything.

[Gabi]

And came face to face with the truth.

[Stephanie]

Look, she just read that name.

[Gabi]

She just read the name.

[Stephanie]

And that's the way that she found out. On a gravestone in a graveyard. Oh, man.

[Heidi]

A new chapter opens. The Battle of the Flying Bombs I'm.

[Gabi]

Suzanne Rico, and this is the man who calculated death. Episode 6 Broken Glass the birds are about to fly.

[Stephanie]

I see black in the future.

[Gabi]

Come in, come in. This is an invitation. This is gonna blow your mind. Because it blew my mind.

[Heidi]

So you listen really well.

[Stephanie]

This is the only original of the man who calculated Death.

[Heidi]

The man who calculated Death. Derman der Dentold Erechnete.

[Gabi]

The little village of Bernau am Kimse sits at the base of the Bavarian Alps. It's jodeling country, land of bratwurst and really good beer. And from the look of the green meadows dotted with cows and dandelions, it's pretty clear that Bernau is farm country too. There are lots of dirt roads like the one leading to the Stuttnehof. Hof means farm in German. And back in the 1920s, my grandmother Hilde spent a summer working at this dairy farm. These days, families can rent vacation rooms here, a place to don lederhosen and go for a hike in the beautiful green Alps. Stephanie and I arrive late after our cemetery visit, but the owners come to greet us anyway, along with their big black dog, Brutus. Gabi, who shares a name with my mom, is tall and powerful looking. Her husband, Alois, wearing green overalls and a tie dye T shirt, is rocking the modern Bavarian farmer look. And beneath his pink cheeks and big belly lies a wicked sense of humor. Werewolves. Watch out. This is Bruce Simmons. Inside the farmhouse where Alois has lived his whole life. We hang our coats on deer antlers next to a SNARLING STUFFED badger It's authentic and different and charming. And my grandmother loved her stay at the rugged, rural Stuttnehof so much.

[Betty]

That.

[Gabi]

When she married Robert Lesser, the newlyweds spent their Flitewocken here. Wow. And in 1944, with the city of Kassel under siege, my grandparents remembered this remote retreat. They had five kids by then, and a farm filled with good memories 100 km from any military target seemed like their best shot. No bombs, no sirens. And the farmhouse cellar didn't double as an air raid shelter. So my grandfather and Alois grandmother, whose husband and seven sons were fighting in the war, worked out a deal. She agreed to shelter the lessors in exchange for help on the farm.

[Heidi]

Good night.

[Gabi]

And while I've got a thousand questions, farmers rise with the sun. So they'll have to wait. Good night. Let me grab my suitcase. Stephanie and I follow Gabi up a narrow staircase to the vacation rooms on the third floor. Oh, we're going right up to the top, huh? It's all gleaming, knotty pine. Pine walls, pine floor, pine beds with thick down comforters. And when Gabi heads off to bed and we're alone, it hits us.

[Stephanie]

We're right here.

[Gabi]

This is where Hilda stayed with all the kids. Oh, my gosh.

[Stephanie]

But it's just. It's craz crazy because the house looks exactly like it does.

[Gabi]

You know that really this was the exact room or a piece of the.

[Stephanie]

Room, or they built it, they rebuilt it exactly the same. Okay, you can see.

[Gabi]

And we're sleeping here and we're staying.

[Stephanie]

Right.

[Gabi]

That's something that I never thought could happen. I didn't even know that they.

[Stephanie]

How lucky.

[Gabi]

Or that they had it here for us to rent or to stay, I mean. And it's incredible. It's also kind of weird. I've never been this close to the vortex of the past. And I can feel it sucking me in, pulling me back to an event that happened 20 years before I was even born, but that somehow I know by heart. March 13, 1945. Dawns. Cold and gray. Dingy snow covers the ground outside the farmhouse. Robert Lesser is hundreds of miles away, working in Berlin. In fact, the only men on the farm are two French prisoners of war. Prisoners that Tanteheidi remembers vividly right down to their Max and Betty Pas.

[Heidi]

They were simple farmers from France who were supposed to work the German farms as prisoners of war for no money. They worked hard.

[Gabi]

Can you bring up a memory of them? Like what they looked like, Dark haired.

[Heidi]

You know, curly haired. And they were just One of them had blue eyes. Really, really, really kind blue eyes.

[Gabi]

Around midday, the POWs are out working in the cow pasture while my mom, Gabby is inside with the farmer's teenage daughter, her only friend.

[Betty]

Betty and I are in the farm kitchen where the sun shines through the giant old kitchen window. I am braiding Betty's hair. I braid and unbraid, braid and unbraid. Each time I make it prettier.

[Suzanne Rico]

Trouty and Dola are at school, but Heidi and her three year old brother Uli are upstairs with their mom taking a nap.

[Gabi]

And it's here where the story gets strange.

[Heidi]

And you know, the strange part was Traudi and I shared a double bunk, but it was not a bunk bed. It was just two single beds stacked one on top of each other, not connected with any screws or nuts or bolts like normal bunk beds. And my mother slept on the couch near the dining room.

[Gabi]

As Tanta Heidi describes it, one little swab of beds, Heidi's for Hilda's, will change everything.

[Heidi]

And she told me I was not feeling well. And she said, Heidi goes lie down next to Uli. And I said, no, no, that's your place to sleep. You go there, I'll go in my bed. And she said, no.

[Gabi]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

You wonder if she had some sort of sense, some premonition, some sort of premonition about what was going to happen here in this place.

[Gabi]

The drone of airplanes overhead is the first hint of danger. But droning airplanes is hardly unusual anywhere in wartime Germany. In the farmhouse kitchen, Gabi stops braiding and listens.

[Betty]

Betty hears it too. She takes my hand and we go out the front door to where the big farm water pump sits. We watch for the sound. Then we see it. Airplanes in a V way high up. The last one swoops away in a pretty curve all by itself.

[Gabi]

The V shaped formation my mom describes in her memoir. Like so many geese on the wing, I can see it, see the silver glint of that one airplane as it leaves the flock, outlined against winter sky.

[Betty]

Betty takes me back into the kitchen. She tells me we don't have to worry about bombs in the country. But then a new sound hits my ears. A whining sound like a mosquito.

[Gabi]

Gabi has heard this sound before in Kassel.

[Betty]

Louder and louder. I scrunch my body up, so scared. I want my muti.

[Gabi]

Upstairs, her mother sits up on Heidi's bunk bed.

[Heidi]

She must have heard some whine, just a fraction of a second, and she tried to jump up. And I just laid there and I saw the pictures fly off the wall from the air pressure. And I remember thinking, damn, not even here are we safe.

[Gabi]

When the bomb hits the roof, Heidi and Uli are buried back to back in debris. A little light filters in as the crushed farmhouse groans and settles. Then Heidi hears the two POWs, Max and Betipah, shouting her name.

[Heidi]

And I remember saying, get Bully. Get Uli. Get Uli. He's. He is not breathing.

[Gabi]

At first. Heidi has a bit of space around.

[Heidi]

Her because a piece of lumber was lying across me which held the rubble up. But when they started digging, it closed in, you know, And I did see little stars in front of my eyes. And then I passed out.

[Gabi]

Max and Betty Pa pull Uli out first. He's blue from lack of oxygen, but they get him breathing again. Then they rescue Heidi, who regains consciousness in a landscape of complete devastation.

[Heidi]

The bomb had hit in the attic on the steel girder and collapsed the outside wall and the stable wall. And then I saw that there was hay on top where my mother was supposed to be. I started pulling the stuff away, you know, the hay, yelling, she's here, she's here, she's here.

[Gabi]

Max pulls the frightened, frantic girl off the debris pile and takes her outside.

[Heidi]

And I saw all the cows with their bellies exploded. You know, it hits a stable and the cows were there and the chickens, and there was blood and guts all over the place. I mean, it was a bloody mess.

[Gabi]

Her little sister Gabi is a mess too. Glass shards embedded all down her back and legs.

[Betty]

In the momentary quiet that came in the aftermath, Betty lifted me through the shattered kitchen window into a wilderness of crumbling walls, craters and whirls of dust dimming the afternoon sun.

[Heidi]

And they took my brother Uli and me and Gabi and they put us upstairs into this little building that was still standing. And Gabi, Gabi said that I kept saying, I know she's dead. I know she's dead. I just know.

[Betty]

Even today I can still see 12 year old Heidi, fists on mouth in her voice, a quiet hysteria, whispering to me, her baby sister. I know she's dead. I know she's dead.

[Heidi]

But I don't recall that. What I do recall is that a sanitation wagon came, you know, it had a red cross on it, one of those volkwagens with a doctor in it. So after a while, the doctor came into the room where Gabi and I were, and she goes to the window. Well, there were no windows because they were all shattered, you know, but she closed the shutters because they had to bring my Mother from the farmhouse into the washroom below. And they knew I was looking out the window. And that is why the doctor shut those shutters, so that Gabby and I wouldn't see it.

[Gabi]

When the girls finally find the courage to leave the outbuilding, Hilda has been loaded into a wagon for the long ride to the hospital. And as it pulls away, they see their mother's woolen skirt lying discarded on a patch of red stained snow.

[Stephanie]

And then.

[Gabi]

What did they tell you about your mom?

[Heidi]

Nothing. They didn't tell me. Right then and there, they didn't tell me anything.

[Gabi]

Heidi and Troutie will soon learn the truth.

[Heidi]

The upper bunk hit her on the.

[Gabi]

Neck, so it came down on the back of her neck.

[Heidi]

Yeah.

[Gabi]

But their seven year old sister, my mom, she was told that her mother's worst injury was a broken leg.

[Heidi]

I was 12, so I didn't have the heart to tell Gabby and.

[Gabi]

Yeah, so everyone thought it was just better to sort of put the lie.

[Suzanne Rico]

Out there that she was in the hospital.

[Heidi]

That she was in the hospital. Yeah, right.

[Gabi]

It was a kindness, I'm sure. I'm sure my tantas were just more worried about finding food and shelter than explaining death to a little kid. In any case, it was Betty, the farmer's daughter with the long dark hair and soft smile who finally decided the lie had gone on long enough.

[Betty]

Betty says, we're going for a walk. My heart jumps a little. I haven't seen Muti in a long time.

[Heidi]

Muti died on 13 March. And so maybe two weeks later, when the flowers came out in the meadow, Gabby was picking wildflowers, saying, this is from Muti in the hospital.

[Betty]

We walk to the church in the village, but Betsy goes right past the old wood doors. My feet crunch on the pebbly path, her hand on my back, pushing gently.

[Heidi]

And then Betty took her to the grave.

[Betty]

She walks straight to a big stone cross. I know. I don't know. I want to know. I don't want to know. Then I see my mother's name, Hildegard.

[Heidi]

And that's when she knew that her mother was dead.

[Suzanne Rico]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let's get real here. Trying to find the right therapist can feel like dating. But more expensive and less fun. I've been there, you know. You need someone to talk to. But the maze of insurance wait lists and sky high costs, it's enough to make you need even more therapy. That's why BetterHelp is such a game changer. It takes the stress out of getting help so you can actually focus on feeling better with BetterHelp, therapy is all online. That means no awkward waiting rooms, no crosstown commutes, and no, sorry, we don't take your insurance moments. You just fill out a short questionnaire, get matched with one of over 30,000 licensed therapists, and boom, you're talking to someone who gets it. And if it's not a good fit, no awkward breakups. You can switch therapists anytime. No penalty, no pressure. Look, therapy isn't just for big dramatic moments. Sometimes it's about learning how to say no without guilt. Or managing that Sunday spiral before it turns into a full blown Monday panic. Mental health matters. And BetterHelp makes it accessible and affordable. One flat weekly rate that is way easier on your budget than those $200 in office sessions. Your mind deserves just as much love as your body, so why not invest in it? Visit betterhelp.com theman to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com them.

[Gabi]

It'S morning at the Stuttnerhof and the farmyard is alive. Roosters, chickens, bunnies, partridges, they all scurry around under Brutus watchful eye.

[Stephanie]

Brutus Bashcharf.

[Gabi]

Brutus takes care of the place, right? And when Alois finishes his coffee and cigarette, Stephanie and I follow him to the pig pen where he pats a big pink hog and then picks up a broom. Oh, he gets a little scrubbing. A clean pig. It's an irony. Farm life is fascinating.

[Stephanie]

They have to have shade because otherwise they get sunburnt.

[Gabi]

But clean, properly sunscreened pigs aren't what we've traveled thousands of miles to see. We came to investigate that long ago afternoon when bombs turned this peaceful place into a disaster scene.

[Stephanie]

So this was a big oak and it had a bunch of shrapnel on it. Bomb shrapnel. If you come out here with a metal detector, then you can find them next trip. Yeah.

[Gabi]

Alois, who is our generation, grew up hearing bits and pieces about the bombing, just like Stephanie and I did an ocean away. But unlike us, he's also lived with the physical evidence all his life. Bomb splinters and bomb craters. Lots of them. A few of which Alois points out over in the horse and cow pastures. Zwei. Here. Zwei.

[Stephanie]

Nein. Fija.

[Gabi]

Fija. Rei.

[Stephanie]

Fija.

[Gabi]

They don't look like much, just slight depressions in the long grass.

[Stephanie]

There are holes. There were great big holes in the.

[Gabi]

Ground from the bombs. They bombed the shit out of this place. Alois remembers the craters? Well, because back when he worked on the. As a teenager, they were a pain in his butt.

[Stephanie]

So he knows where they all are still because he had to spend years mowing around them because you couldn't mow through them. But slowly they brought. They filled them in.

[Gabi]

Some craters served as what Alois calls shitholes.

[Stephanie]

They just threw all the trash into these bomb holes.

[Gabi]

Holes. Others were put to a more aesthetic use. So this is the original bomb crater that they made the trout pond out of. And it's wide and deep and you can see how much bigger it is than the other ones where time or tractors have filled them in. And there's the little house where you can sit and cast your pole, the pretty pear tree. It's just hard to imagine that anything bad could have happened here. All that death and destruction just seems impossible. From the pond, we walk through a field of wildflowers to the edge of a thick, dark forest and duck in, pass out. Be careful. When he was a boy, he found an unexploded bomb. In these woods.

[Stephanie]

It's really dangerous where it's damp and soft because the bombs go in and don't explode, but they kind of get filled in.

[Gabi]

We tread just a little more carefully across sticks and branches until we reach a copse of skinny pine trees growing in a circle. Oh, look at this critter. So far, I've counted six, which matches the memories of my tunda trouty, my tantahidi and my mom.

[Betty]

Of the seven bombs dropped by the lone bomber, one hit the farmhouse in which my parents had honeymooned.

[Heidi]

I would say six craters and the sevens hit. Seven bombs fell, one hit the house and the others were all around it like a total targeted one drop. There were seven of them and that was it.

[Gabi]

They're all so sure. But standing there in the woods, surrounded by gnats and birdsong, Alois says that cannot be.

[Stephanie]

It's hard to understand, to know what actually happened, because everybody's contradicting themselves, right? And they said There were only seven bombs, but his father filled in 25 holes.

[Gabi]

Craters, yeah, seven or 25. It's a huge disparity. And any detective will tell you that a trail is much harder to follow once it goes cold.

[Stephanie]

70 years. 70 years ago.

[Gabi]

Oh, man. The questions multiply like the craters. How many bombs? Who dropped them? And why would anyone bomb a farmhouse full of women and children out in the middle of nowhere?

[Stephanie]

It's so idyllic.

[Gabi]

You know, maybe it was just coincidence, maybe it's just wrong place, wrong Time, maybe. But not according to my family. Did you ever try to find out if the Stuttenhof bombing was targeted at Robert Lesser or not? I'm 100% sure that it was. It cannot be any other way. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone believes that the bombing was a targeted retaliation strike by Britain's Royal Air Force.

[Alois]

They knew exactly who was doing what. Yeah, and don't forget that the Fau Eins and Fau Zwei were a real danger for Great Britain, for London. And they wanted to kill the people who were active in this project. The top people.

[Gabi]

Okay. Why not? It makes sense, right? The V1 terrorized England. Robert Lesser was its chief designer. The Brits decided to get a little vengeance of their own. End of story. But no one has ever been able to prove it. Not even my mom.

[Heidi]

Your mother tried very hard to find out whether or not those bombs were dropped on purpose or by accident.

[Stephanie]

This belongs here. So here's some of Mom's actual letters that she wrote. Dear Dr. Scarlett.

[Gabi]

She wrote to experts and authors, even the director of the British SIS Secret Intelligence Service.

[Stephanie]

I'm looking for declassified information.

[Gabi]

She wanted to know what happened in the Bavarian village of Beau am Kimse on March 13, 1945.

[Stephanie]

Can you tell me if you have records of a direct hit operation in a rural area which had never been bombed? Can you tell me if the SIS ordered this direct hit? That is, it's important in my story whether this bomb drop was random or planned and carried out. So here she is. And I believe this is one of the letters where she did not get an answer.

[Gabi]

She did not.

[Stephanie]

She did not. But why can't we follow this up?

[Gabi]

We can.

[Stephanie]

Why can't we?

[Gabi]

And I did.

[Heidi]

I know where the bodies are buried, as you could say. I have the shortcuts.

[Gabi]

But the researcher I hired to dig through, through Royal Air Force records found nothing. And all the family lore?

[Alois]

Four Lancaster bombers. That's what I heard.

[Gabi]

Four Lancaster bombers, yeah. Just confused me even more.

[Stephanie]

I thought it were Mosquito planes, British planes.

[Gabi]

This is what I first heard. See what I mean? Which brings me back to Alois. And this crater crawl through forest and field. Is this Alice Wretzel? Alles retzel. That's German for it's all a mystery. A big black hole like the bomb craters, covered in dirt and too much time.

[Suzanne Rico]

Einscherbenhalfen. It's another good word. It means a pile of broken glass.

[Gabi]

And that's how Alois describes his country at the end of World War II.

[Suzanne Rico]

Something shattered beyond repair. And most of the facts of our.

[Gabi]

Family story have been lost among the shards. But as we walk back to the farmhouse, the big Bavarian farmer stops next to a blossoming cherry tree. And almost like an afterthought, he points out the memorial stone his father made after the war ended. It's granite, a pale blush pink, sturdy enough to last several lifetimes. On it is a carving of the Stuttnerhof, smoke coming from the crushed roof. A single plane flies above, and a woman's body lies on the ground below. Can you read it? And the inscription just blows us away. On March 13, 1945, our property was destroyed. A woman lost her life.

[Stephanie]

That's our grandmother.

[Gabi]

Burned the house. Burned. What? Yeah. The memorial is clear. Holy cow.

[Stephanie]

American.

[Gabi]

All right. That's not how we heard it.

[Stephanie]

No, never.

[Suzanne Rico]

No one in our family has even considered this scenario before.

[Gabi]

An American plane. The pieces of the puzzle always put together on the bedrock belief that the bombs that left a mother of five with a broken neck.

[Stephanie]

That's crazy.

[Gabi]

Were British. Always British. British, British. But what if everyone, okay for all these years had it wrong?

[Heidi]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

American bombs.

[Gabi]

Wow. Coming up on the man who Calculated death.

[Heidi]

I came to explore what it means to die.

[Stephanie]

This is where they came. This is where they described the blue stained glass windows.

[Heidi]

And they said we should step forward and throw some dirt in the grave.

[Gabi]

On the coffin.

[Heidi]

On the coffin.

[Stephanie]

But then that was it. Then it was all about survival.

[Heidi]

They told me that I had to go in and do the begging, and I did a pretty good job of it.

[Gabi]

Let me ask you this. What do you think would have happened if your mom hadn't been killed? The children need me more than ever. So the risk for such a kind of operation is too great to undertake.

[Heidi]

The order was given to defend the city to the last man, and anyone who tried to leave the city was shot.

[Betty]

After losing our mother, it seemed things couldn't get worse. They did.

[Gabi]

That's next time on the man who.

[Suzanne Rico]

Calculated Death, an original series from Discount Sushi, a novel. The show is written, reported, and produced by me, Suzanne Rico. And if you're enjoying it, please rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. For more information, including family footage, photos, videos, and archival material, go to the manhocalculateddeath.com thanks so much for listening.