Podcast Summary: The Matt King Show | Episode 034

Guest: Wyatt Graves
Title: "What If the Life You’re Chasing Is Quietly Destroying You?"
Release Date: October 26, 2025
Host: Matt King (GoBundance)

Episode Overview

In this reflective and candid episode, Matt King sits down with entrepreneur, real estate mogul, and leadership coach Wyatt Graves. Together, they explore the rarely discussed realities behind a life built on achievement: how relentless drive can both build a legacy and quietly undermine personal fulfillment. The conversation is a deep dive into authentic leadership, the nuances of parenting with intention, differentiating values in the home versus the workplace, courage, risk, and how to measure true success. This episode goes well beyond “success stories,” tackling the intimate questions of self-worth, failure, and the pursuit of a "good life."

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Defining Success and Authentic Manhood

Theme: The true cost of chasing achievement and what it means to live an aligned life

• Wyatt describes his background: from humble beginnings to building a business empire in real estate and childcare, and coaching elite performers ([00:00]).
• Wyatt’s philosophy: "The hardest thing I’ve ever built was the life I actually wanted to live" ([00:45]).
• Definition of authentic manhood: "A man that lives by principles, not emotions." ([00:54], [23:37])
• Quote: “We always go back to, what are our values? What’s most important to us? And let’s make decisions in alignment with those values.” – Wyatt Graves ([01:10], [24:42])

2. Leadership at Home vs. Work

Theme: Intentional parenting and the balancing acts of leadership

• Wyatt’s motivation as a parent came from his own upbringing, where emotional leadership was lacking from his parents ([01:30]).
• At home, he leads by modeling intentional decision-making and living by values, not by offering rewards:
  "We are not a reward-driven family…Everything that we teach our kids is based on what do they want their future self to become and helping them make decisions that lead to that result." – Wyatt ([03:48])
• For his team at work, Wyatt is more model/standards-driven, but he aligns work with the personal goals of teammates where possible ([05:12]).

Notable Contrast:

• Home: Empower children to make autonomous decisions, guided by values, learning from outcomes.
• Work: Uphold proven models/expectations, allow mistake-making within structure, but align roles to personal goals ([06:44]).

3. Breaking Through Plateaus: Mindset, Mentorship, and Serendipity

Theme: Overcoming personal and professional stagnation

• Wyatt shares growth stories—expanding from one to seven daycares and then scaling back, always driven by the desire to leave a lasting impact ([08:24]).
• On luck and success:
  "People don’t know what they want. They only want what they know… As I’ve been exposed to new options, I then get the choice on whether or not I desire that or not." – Wyatt ([10:13])
• Importance of proximity: “Getting around groups like GoBundance, masterminds, and coaches is less luck, more action and choice.” – Wyatt ([10:13])
• Matt emphasizes preparation meeting opportunity:
  “My dad always said, look, there is no such thing as luck. Luck is defined by preparation meeting opportunity. So you have to be prepared.” – Matt King ([12:37])
• Wyatt's habit of taking risks: "I ran for class president just so I could force myself to be as uncomfortable as possible." ([15:32])

4. Courage, Risk, and Faith

Theme: Living close to the line without crossing into recklessness

• Courage as a favorite word and foundational value:
  “I have a pattern of being courageous, and I think being courageous... is the first word, the first energy level above the line on David Hawkins' map of consciousness.” – Wyatt ([16:29])
• Wyatt on current limits: Not willing to take certain risks that would endanger his family's security, even though he craves progress ([17:12]).
• The tension between faith and delusion: “At what point does faith become delusional?... It's beautiful to trust life is working in our favor, but also important to avoid recklessness.” – Matt ([20:06])
• Decision-making: Continual awareness and collaboration with family as children become more independent and involved ([21:27], [22:01]).

5. Parenting Through Adversity and Change

Theme: Navigating setbacks and big transitions with principle-driven decision-making

• Facing adversity (e.g., son’s changing status in sports), Wyatt focuses on values and principles, not reactive emotions ([23:37]).
• Direct family conversations about values, even if the family doesn’t have a formal constitution ([24:56]).
• Emphasizes teaching over deciding: "I want to teach. I want to explain the why behind the what." ([26:27])
• Sources of clarity:
  • Early readings (Maxwell, Tony Robbins)
  • 25+ years in childcare
  • Personal faith ([26:39])

6. The Journey vs. The Destination

Theme: Redefining what it means to have 'made it'

• Realization through achievement: “We were living in the house…but yet I hadn’t fully moved in… Once I started realizing we are here, my kids are healthy, we have great relationships… There is not a destination.” – Wyatt ([33:57])
• Matt and Wyatt both reflect on how the journey itself–not arbitrary goalposts–is where meaning is truly found ([35:15]).
• On setbacks and adversity: “Every one of those [difficulties] made me a little more calloused to hard things and prepared me for the next defeat. So I don’t really see…There is only one way out of that, and it’s to go through it.” – Wyatt ([36:23])

7. The Good Life: Time, Money, Health, Relationships

Theme: Integrating all four elements to design a life of fulfillment

• Wyatt’s "good life" formula:
  “If I don’t have any time to experience [money], that’s not the good life. If I have all the time in the world but no money, it’s probably not the good life either. If I have time and money, but I am alone, that ain’t the good life. So how do we figure out how to have all three: time, money, and key relationships? And you have to add physical health.” ([52:54], [54:34])
• On limitations: “What is holding people back from having all three? I think it’s got to be mindset because I believe that you can have it all.” ([54:29])
• Forcing functions to get out of a rut: Wyatt builds rituals and accountability into his life to force positive momentum—journaling, solo retreats, masterminds ([56:06]).

8. Goal Setting, Relationships, and Opposites in Marriage

Theme: Leading by example when spouses have different worldviews

• Wyatt and his wife Janae are opposites: he’s intensely goal-driven, she values presence and consistency ([43:52]).
• They don’t co-set detailed long-term goals; instead, Wyatt leads by quietly creating stability, and Janae’s (less visible) “goals” are in daily acts of caring ([50:38]-[52:38]).

9. Legacy and Impact

Theme: Measuring life by its ripple effect

• On how he wants to be remembered:
  “They’re going to say, I am better off because Wyatt lived… The ripple effect is what I’m after. I want to have affected as many people as possible in a direct, real way. And then they go out and affect as many people as possible.” ([38:49])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On authentic manhood and values:
  “The definition that I put on authentic manhood is a man that lives by principles, not emotions.” – Wyatt Graves ([00:54], [23:37])
• On parental leadership:
  “If you want to eat the junk food, you got to pay the price for that. If you don’t want to eat the junk food, you’ll get to reap the rewards. We've been that kind of family.” – Wyatt ([04:24])
• On risk and family:
  “Maybe I don’t have the courage to take some of those risks because I don’t have the courage to face the consequences that they might have to suffer if I fail.” – Wyatt ([18:02])
• On courage:
  “My MO is to be as close to the line of recklessness as possible.” – Wyatt ([20:05])
• On adversity and mindset:
  “The only difference between a rut and a grave is how long you choose to lay there.” – Matt King ([37:41])
• On clarity and vision:
  “What has been proven is that we have a good life and my plan is working out.” – Wyatt ([45:28])
• On ‘having it all’:
  “People ask, why do I want to be as successful as I have set for myself? Because it’s possible… It’s just a matter of putting myself in the right room with the right model, the right conversations…” – Wyatt ([54:41], [55:07])
• On forcing functions for mindset:
  “If I go through the motions and I put myself in that situation…the gym, the book, the morning ritual… I’m going to come out…feeling the motivation and the inspiration and at least better than I went into it.” – Wyatt ([56:06])

Timestamps for Important Topics

• 00:45 – The real challenge: building the life you actually want
• 01:30 – Wyatt’s childhood and drive for leadership
• 03:48–04:24 – Parenting philosophy: no reward system, values-driven
• 05:12–06:44 – Differentiating leadership at home vs. at work
• 08:24–10:13 – Breaking through business plateaus, growth mindset
• 12:37–14:47 – The myth of luck and choosing action
• 15:32–16:29 – Early leadership experiences, courage as a pattern
• 17:12–20:05 – Limits, faith, risk, and family consequences
• 23:37–26:27 – Parenting through adversity, teaching values directly
• 30:56–33:57 – Embracing the journey vs. searching for the destination
• 36:23–37:41 – Handling defeat and adversity, resilience
• 38:49 – Defining legacy: the ripple effect
• 43:52–45:28 – Balancing mismatched goals in marriage
• 52:54–54:41 – The good life: time, money, relationships, health
• 56:06 – Forcing functions for mindset and motivation

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a masterclass in navigating the hidden costs of high achievement, emphasizing the power of courage, values, and intentionality both at home and in business. Wyatt Graves embodies leadership that starts with self-awareness, radiates through family, and ripples outward to community. Listeners are left with practical frameworks—from structured rituals to deep questions about values and legacy—and a challenge to reimagine what it truly means to “have it all.”

Where to Connect:
Wyatt Graves: wyattgraves.com ([58:29])

Final Reflection:
"People have already done it… It’s just a matter of putting myself in the right room, with the right model, the right conversations…" – Wyatt Graves ([55:07])