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036: Solo Episode | This ONE Word Shift Changed Everything For Me In 2025 | The Matt King Show
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She's six years old. She's standing in front of 300 people. This girl didn't have a script. She didn't have any backup. It was just a microphone, her voice. And it was her belief. It was her belief that she was enough. And as I was watching my daughter sing, I realized that she was braver than I ever let myself be. In 2025. I realized that I chased the wrong metrics. I let the wrong things stay. I thought burnout meant that I was doing things right. And so today, I. I'm back in the saddle, doing a solo podcast, and I want to share with you the three lessons that I learned from 2025. My big takeaways, my big action items for 2026. Because each and every year, I start my year on December 1st. So as I sit here today and have a conversation with you, my new year is fastly approaching. And these are the lessons that I learned from 2025. The first man, this one hurt this one. And I recognized that. What we tolerate becomes our culture. Now, this isn't just in a business setting. So often we talk about culture when we're in a business setting, but what we tolerate becomes our culture everywhere, in all parts of our life. And what we tolerate is this very interesting concept to me because it sneaks up or creeps into our life slowly, and then suddenly, we feel the results of it. I think about weight, right? We tolerate an unhealthy diet, and three months later, six months later, 10 months later, we look at the scale, and there's 10 more pounds there than we started the year with. There's 10 more pounds there than we think we should have. And what happened? We started to tolerate that extra serving at dinner. We started to tolerate that extra peanut butter cup from the refrigerator. We started to tolerate that extra piece of dessert. And that became the culture that we, in turn, accept into our lives. One leads to two, two leads to three. And then you now are starting to talk about what a weight loss challenge looks like or what a fitness goal looks like, because you allowed and tolerated things to become part of your culture that didn't align with the vision that you had for your life. Now, for me, as I sit here today, what I recognize is that there's a lot of things in my life that I have tolerated, honestly, most of which are almost subconscious, but I've tolerated them, I've accepted them. And what's happened is things have creeped or crept into my life that I don't want. They don't belong. And as I was looking at 2025, looking backward, which is the most powerful way to look, because we can never predict what the future is going to bring. I was reflecting on why I was feeling burned out, why I was feeling frustrated, why I was sick of having the hard conversations with the people about the same thing over and over and over again. And it finally dawned on me that I have been for the last 12, 18, 24 months, tolerating things that are outside of my values, what I stand for as a human, what our businesses stand for. And also I have been tolerating things that don't align with my vision. So the first lesson, what you tolerate becomes your culture. Now, how do you change that? I think you literally have to do a time audit and an energy audit. You have to look at your days, your weeks, your months. You have to look at your energy level on Monday morning, on Friday afternoon, on Sunday evening, looking forward to work on Monday. You have to audit these things and ask yourself, is this who I want to be? Am I spending time with the people I want to be spending time with? Am I doing the things that I want to be doing day in and day out? The first step in change, regardless of anything you are trying to do, is first awareness. We must first recognize that there is a problem, that there is an opportunity, that there is change and transformation that can actually occur on the other side of this awareness. But without that awareness, how can you possibly change it? For me, doing that time audit, doing that energy audit, caused me to realize what I'm tolerating has become the culture. And what I'm tolerating has led to conversations becoming harder because I let those hard conversations accrue with a debt that had to be paid in the future. I let those hard moments pass me by because I tolerated the lack of performance from an employee or the bad habits from my children or the lack of discipline around my workouts. I tolerated those for a day. And one day led to two, and two led to three. And you know the rest of the story. So the first lesson that I'm taking into 2026 and I'm reflecting back on in 2025 is whatever you tolerate becomes your culture. The second lesson, man, this one really was hard for me to swallow, because for much of my life, I have thought that money, wealth, financial freedom is the scoreboard. And here's what I learned in 2025. While financial freedom and wealth is the scoreboard, it is not the game. Making money is a skill, but keeping energy, that's the game. And that's what truly matters. I was looking back on how I felt and reflecting on what we had all done over the last 12 months. And one of my favorite things to do for this exercise is literally take out my iPhone and start scrolling through my photo albums. It's incredible how much we do in a year that we forget that we don't remember even the most powerful things. Like Melissa and I were just talking as we got ready to go to Canada for a GoFundance event and she said, we haven't really done a big family trip this year. And I looked at her and said, well, what about Disney for spring break? And Melissa and I both forgot that that had occurred in 2025. Both of us remembered that like it was in 2024. We do so many things in a year and we don't often reflect on all of the amazing moments and just how many of those amazing moments we have. So as I sat there endlessly scrolling through my photo album, not only did I see way too many pictures of cows, not only did I see way too many pictures of cows udders, not only did I see way too many pictures of cows backsides, but I saw so many pictures of me filled with energy, filled with joy, filled with abundance. My family filled with energy, filled with joy, filled with abundance in places that we had never been before, doing things we had never done before. And yet, as I sit here and look backward, I feel empty. I feel drained. I feel depleted. Because for much of 2025, what I have been chasing is the wrong thing. I have been chasing success from a financial perspective. I've been chasing the revenue growth. I've been chasing the profitability. I've been chasing the income in net worth in income, in investable assets, in cash, in my bank account. And don't get me wrong, all of those things matter and they are part of the process of life. And if you truly want to live an abundant and financially free life, all of those things do matter. And yet they are just the scoreboard. The true game is our energy. And if I had to sit here and authentically audit the energy that I have, I would tell you that I am saying yes to way too many things. I am saying no to far too little things. And my yeses are not full body yeses. We all know what a full body yes looks like and more importantly, feels like. We've all been asked a question from a family member or a teammate or a friend, and we say so with hesitation. Yeah, sure, I'll do that thing. Yeah, sure, I'll help You move this weekend? Yeah, sure, you can take Friday off. But they're not a full body. Yes. Internally, there's a part of you that's conflicted. That's recognizing this is not aligning with my values or my vision. That's recognizing this is not truly how I want to spend my time today. Now, I am not saying you only get to do the things you want to do each and every day, if that is truly possible. I would love to know where you can live to actually achieve that life. But part of life is doing things you don't want to do. I get that. I recognize that. And I see the power and the possibility of doing things that are full body yeses for me. And also leaning into the nose. I don't say no enough. And one of the things I'm committing to for 2026, which I said I was going to do in 2025 and failed, and I said I was going to do in 2024 and failed, is I'm going to say no. And the beautiful part about no is it's a complete sentence. You don't have to say no, but you don't have to say no. And you don't have to say no. Here is why. You can just say no. You can be kind, you can be respectful, you can be direct, but you can say no. That's the message I wrote to myself in my journal. I can say no. You can say no. And so for me, when I go through my energy audit, I look at what my year looked like in 2025. It was full. It was abundant, it was blessed. It was filled with memories and joy and beautiful conversations and great investments and great events and great speaking opportunities. And yet it was also filled with a lot of things that I should not have done. A lot of yeses that I didn't need to say yes to. A lot of opportunities for me to lean into the discomfort of no. Period. No justification, no reason, no logic, just no. And I realized that the way to actually grow my wealth, the way to actually grow the revenue of the businesses, the way to actually grow the profitability of the businesses is not through yeses. It's actually through no's. We find this belief at some point in our journey, I think everybody does, where the way to grow, the way to scale is through your yeses. I'm just going to say yes and figure it out later. I'm going to keep leaning into the yeses. Sure, I'll do that deal. Sure, we'll do that merger. Sure, I'll make that investment. But in reality, if you look at some of the most successful people in the world, regardless of what walk of life they come from, whether it's Dan Dapani who was on the podcast and was a Buddhist monk for 10 years, or it's Sahil Bloom who is just a New York Times best selling author, or it's David Osborne who's grown a significant financial net worth, they didn't get there by saying yes. They got there by saying no. And when they did say yes, it was a full body, 100% authentic and convicted. Yes. And that allowed them to have the energy to show up for that. Yes. And actually seize the opportunity that that, yes, provided them. Energy is the game again. Making money, it's a skill. Money is the scoreboard. But without energy, you can't play the game. And if you can't play the game, how can you possibly put up any numbers on the scoreboard? For me, when I look back on 2025, I'm proud, I'm grateful, I'm happy, and I'm clearer than ever that I am going to manage my energy with much more intentionality in 2026 and beyond. I recognize that I'm not going to get lost chasing the wrong things. I am going to focus on my energy and trust that by managing my energy, I will be able to show up fully, authentically, vulnerably and committedly, if that's even a word, to whatever opportunity is presented to me at that moment in time. So lesson number two. Making money is a skill, but keeping energy, that's the goal. That's mastery. Now lesson number three. I'm gonna try to say this lesson without crying. Because in 2025, I probably experienced the most magical moment of my entire life. And it's a risk to even say that out loud because if my wife listens to this, she'll say, well, what about our wedding? Or what about when our first kid, second kid, or third kid was born? Um, but this moment for me really changed how I look at life. And it goes back to that six year old girl singing on a stage. 300 plus people waiting for her to sing. In 2023, Rylan and Bode came to a gobundance event with me. It was the first ever event they had attended. And when we got to the event for the sound check that I was leading, the stage had already been set up and Rylan was yanking on my shirt. She was 4 at the time. I said, yes, Ry, what's up? Got down to her level and she whispered in My ear. Dad, the stage is already set up. I thought that was your job. First of all, that was a crazy moment in and of itself because I can barely hammer a nail into the wall. But she. She just didn't know what my job truly was. And that lesson from 2023 taught me I need to communicate better with my children, my family, and tell them what I'm truly up to. But I say that story because. Fast forward to 2025. We're up in Banff, Canada. Big gobundance event. Our annual Fall Adventure Mastermind, which actually was more of a winter. Winter Adventure Mastermind because it snowed like crazy the first day we were there. But nonetheless, it was our big event. So we had 300 people registered for this event, plus you had staff, plus you had family, plus you had AV guys, everybody in the room. So, I mean, I would say there was probably somewhere between 310 and 320 people in this room. And as we got to the event, again, going to the sound check, Rylan said, dad, I want to sing on stage. So I thought, okay, cool, we'll mic her up. She'll sing on stage. Nobody's in the room. She'll do great. She'll have fun. Well, it turns out that was just the warmup. That was just her practice session. She sang one song, then two songs, then three songs on stage that day for the sound check. Bodhi got on stage, was dancing. Marley was up there. She, too, was dancing. It was really cool because Melissa's parents were there as well. So my in laws were taking this all in. Melissa was taking this all in. There was a couple other folks in the room. Everybody was cheering her on. It was. It was cool. And she said, okay, great. When do I get to really sing in front of everybody? Now I kind of look at that and say, hey, that's a really confident young kid. And once she sees what 300 people in a room looks like, she's probably gonna say, hey, dad, not right now. I don't want to do this right now. Or she's going to probably feel like I feel, which is I. I think I want to do the thing until it's actually time to do the thing. And then I get nervous, and I realize that the courage that I'm living with or the courage that I'm trying to portray is actually just fake courage. It's not real courage. It's a courage that I think I need to show up with, like to perform, to stay strong, to try to stay in control. This girl. No, no, no, this girl wanted to sing in front of everybody. Last night of the event, she had the opportunity to sing in front of a little over 300 people. The night before, she was practicing. Morning of, she was practicing the night before. Even Melissa and I were talking about like, is she really going to do this? What's this going to be? Like, how nervous is she going to be? I remember Melissa and I talking to each other about how nervous we were for Rylan and we weren't even going to sing. But as parents, I think it's our job, our obligation, our opportunity to lean in and let our kids do whatever they desire. Even if they do run the risk of failing, even if they do run the risk of humiliation. You have to let them try. You have to be there to pick them up when they fall. And what Rylan did that last night at the GoBundance event, I mean, I can't articulate it clearly enough of how powerful it was for me. I mean, first, as a father, being on stage in front of that many people with my 6 year old daughter and my 4 year old son is an incredible experience in and of itself. It's so fun to have Melissa and Rylan and Bodhi and Marley along on the journey with me. And then it's so cool that they get to be able to see what I truly do. They get to be a part of what I truly do, and then they get to be up there in front of that many people. For most people, just getting on stage is intimidating, let alone holding a microphone, let alone talking into the microphone. So I got to be up there on stage with them, which was really cool. Rylan was miked up, Bodhi was going to be the backup dancer and she said she wanted to sing. What I would tell you happened after that was I almost blacked out. Like, the world almost stopped. Like I'm. I'm literally like shaking just telling you this story. And it's not because it's really cold outside here in Texas. It's because, like, I just, I just felt different from it. She started singing when that song started playing and I thought I was going to have to carry the weight and do my songs and I'm a terrible singer. But that girl stood there on the front of the stage, her chest was puffed out, her arms were down, her chin was high, and she sang, she sang the entire song. Now, the song she sang was actually a pretty powerful song, but it's from this viral show, I guess you could say on Netflix called K Pop Demon Hunters, which is a Whole nother topic of conversation, because for some reason, there's a ton of drama around this K Pop demon hunters, especially in, like, the religious community, because God forbid we use the word demon. The show which Melissa and I watch before allowing our kids to watch it, is actually a pretty cool story. It's actually a very powerful story. And it's all about, like, the power of music. And I think music does have the ability to move us in unique ways. And this opportunity with music moved me in a way that I didn't think was possible. When she was singing, I could feel my heart, like, breaking open. I could feel a side of me softening. I could feel a part of me leaning into things that I've run from for a long time, a lot of my life. And in that moment, I realized that courage isn't loud. Courage is honest. And that's the third lesson for me from 2025. Courage is not standing on the table yelling, I got this. Current is not. Courage is not pounding your chest in the mirror saying, I got this. Courage isn't even getting on stage and showing that you're confident. Courage is quiet. The courage that that girl had before she sang on stage was what taught me this lesson. When she was getting mic'd up, she had the courage to share with me how she was truly feeling, that she was nervous, but she was gonna do it anyway, that kings are brave, which is one of our core values. She had the courage to tell me that she was not going to let this moment pass her by. And that idea of courage being quiet, of courage, being honest, to me, was the biggest lesson of 2025. I think a lot of people, myself included, think courage isn't asking for help. Courage isn't saying, I'm broken and I need help. Courage isn't saying, I don't feel good. Can you help me? Courage is saying, I got this. Put the world on my back. No problem. I got you. And what Rylan taught me, singing, communicating through that experience, sharing quietly and honestly how she truly felt. That's what courage is all about. I've been faking courage most of my life. I remember before soccer games, I would get so fricking nervous, I would want to throw up. One of the guys on our teams actually would throw up. I would want to throw up. I would be a nervous wreck until I touched that ball the first time. I would be a disaster. I remember for wrestling meets, I couldn't sleep the night before. I was a mess. Now I've been gifted with an incredible gift where my Armpits don't sweat, but my hands do. So the first couple times I would speak on stage, my hands would literally be like, I just got out of a wet sauna. Like you could wring them out. I was so frickin nervous, but I never had the courage to tell people how I truly felt. People would ask me, are you nervous? No, I'm good. People would ask me, are you scared? No, I'm good. People would ask me, do I need help? I would say, no, I'm good. What Ryland taught me, singing on stage in front of 300 people, was that courage is honest and courage is quiet. You don't have to pound your chest. You don't have to sing from the mountaintops. You have to stand confidently, quietly and honestly in your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions. And Rylan gave me that gift. When I look back on 2025, I realized that it didn't really go as I had planned. I'm a big goal setter, and I think for many business people, 2025 was a kick in the nuts. Interest rates were up, revenues were down, tariffs were being talked about, Potential wars were looming. 2025 was not all I had it chalked up to be. It didn't. It wasn't fun. I mean, it was fun, but it wasn't fun. Like it was hard. It was really hard. And I'm grateful for the hard. I'm grateful for the challenge, and I'm really grateful that it didn't look the way I thought. And as I sit here and talk to you right now, as much as I hate even numbers, I realize that 2025 actually taught me four lessons. And that four lesson, that fourth lesson is like. When I sit here and ponder what the meaning of life truly is, I can't help but think that the true meaning of life might not be the reward or the strategy. The true meaning of life might just be the invitation to surrender. And that feels like the fourth lesson from 2024. 2025. Geez, I can't get the years straight. 2025. That fourth lesson is like, you just have to surrender. There are so many things that are going to happen that are outside of our control. And yet there are so many things that are going to happen that are inside of our control. It's not my job, it's not my responsibility. Hell, it's not even my obligation to figure out how to make somebody else happy. Now, I'm not saying I need to go make them miserable, but I can't determine what's going to make somebody else happy. I can determine if I choose happiness. And I realize that in 2025, that fourth lesson around surrender is something that I'm going to have to really sit with and noodle on and process. Because I didn't think about that coming into this. I had kind of boiled it down to three lessons. Three cool, powerful, simple lessons. You know, what you tolerate becomes your culture. Making money is a skill, but energy is the gold. Energy is what truly matters. Energy is the game. And that courage is quiet, and courage is honest. But as I talk to you today, as I talk to myself today from the saddle, from the ranch, I can't help but ask, maybe the true meaning of life isn't the rewards. Maybe it's just the journey, and maybe it's just the gift and the opportunity to truly surrender. And as I sit here and think about that, it leads me to a question that I'll ask myself. But I'd also ask you, which is, what lesson is life showing you or teaching you, but you're too busy to even hear? You're too busy to even recognize? And I believe if I sit with that question, I journal on that question. I ponder that question. I will find more lessons from 2025. But I wanted to take this moment, reflect on the year, reflect on the amount of gratitude I have for everybody that's tuned into the podcast, launching the podcast, the team that's helped edit the podcast, the journey that my family and I have been on, all the cows that have been birthed here, like 2025, for most people, is a dream come true. And for me, it is a dream come true. Because what I realize now through these lessons, the real goal, the real reward, might just be to surrender to it all and ask myself, what lessons is life, God, the universe, showing me that I'm too busy to actually hear.