Ep. 805: The Condo Butcher, Bison as Wildlife, and Other News

Summary

The MeatEater Podcast: Ep. 805 – "The Condo Butcher, Bison as Wildlife, and Other News"

Host: Steven Rinella
Air Date: December 15, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Steven Rinella and the MeatEater crew gather for a sprawling, newsy roundtable filled with stories from the field, hunting etiquette debates, wildlife policy deep dives, and their signature blend of humor and irreverent camaraderie. The gang touches on everything from funny coffee shop run-ins and rendered coon oil to the changing legal status of bison in Colorado, private land hunting disputes, the reliability of hunting mentors, and language shifts at the Sierra Club. Sprinkled throughout are memorable moments, listener emails, and some classic debates that highlight both the complexity and joy of life outdoors.

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Crew Introductions & Banter

[03:36 – 08:00]

• Steven welcomes the regulars: Yanni "Latvian Lover" Chimani, Dr. Randall Williams, Brody (no nickname fits), and Corinne "Chewy."
• Lighthearted exchanges about nicknames and how they came to be. Notably, Corinne shares about her middle school nickname "Chew" due to her Chinese and Jewish heritage.

“Can we go with, like, Chewy? …That’s endearing. Yeah. You can’t call someone just Chew.”—Steven (04:33)

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Field Stories: Hunting, Trapping, and Unusual Wildlife

[08:00 – 15:00]

Coffee Shop & Trapping Story

• Steven describes taking his kids to a "soft" coffee shop (as opposed to "hard" places like a gas station), and the bemusement when his daughter says they're going trapping.
• The coffee shop worker doesn’t react, missing what Steven expects to be a potentially touchy moment.

Rendering Coon Oil for Clay

• Steve discusses skinning a “rotund” raccoon, rendering three quarts of coon oil, and plans to fry something in it.
• Commentary on tolerance for odd activities in his house, and sharing coon cracklings with magpies.

"Three quarts of rendered coon oil. ...Have you tried eating it, cooking?"
"Dude, it smells. I haven’t tasted it yet. It smells totally normal." —Steven & Corinne (10:40)

Snow Goose with a Missing Beak

• They recount harvesting a snow goose missing half its upper bill but otherwise healthy.

“Man, those critters are just tough.” —Corinne (13:21)

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Storytime: The Challenge of Hunting Mountain Lions with Dogs

[14:25 – 19:00]

• Yanni shares a story illustrating the difficulty of lion hunting—even with dogs. Despite returning to the same tree 24 hours later, worsening snow erased tracks and no lion was found.

"A lot of people still think that hunting with dogs is somehow easy… They don’t know what goes into it." —Yanni (14:33)

• Discussion on the low odds of recapturing the same lion: “Batting 300” (meaning roughly a 30% chance of success the next day).

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Sports Talk: Wildlife vs. Mascots

[19:13 – 32:43]

• The podcast celebrates being ranked #5 in Spotify's sports podcasts and executes an animal-mascot-based NFL pick ’em, ignoring actual sports statistics.
• Entertaining debates on which animal mascots would win in real life: Rams vs. Seahawks, Falcons vs. Cardinals, Bengals vs. Dolphins.
• Commentary on how the most famous representatives of a group—like Yellowstone for bison or dolphins for marine mammals—overshadow all others.

"When people think of the politics of the animal, they only can think of what’s going on in the [Yellowstone] park. ...Everything else is lost to them. And I think dolphins are something like a black hole—an animal black hole." —Steven (32:17)

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Mountain Lion Magnet—Listener Story

[33:03 – 35:20]

• Listener recounts multiple close mountain lion encounters, including nearly walking into a feeding cat, highlighting how much chance is involved in animal encounters.

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Language & Pop Culture Clarifications:

[35:20 – 42:28]

The "Huckleberry" Debate

• Returning to a perennial podcast question: did Doc Holliday say “I’ll be your huckleberry” or "huckle bearer" in Tombstone? Multiple sources confirm that “huckleberry” loosely meant “I’m the right man for the job,” not “pallbearer.” Internet myths debunked.

“It essentially means I’m the right man for the job. The screenwriter took it directly from a book about Tombstone.” —Listener email (39:56)

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"The Condo Butcher": Wild Game Processing in the City

[44:00 – 47:00]

• Listener in a high-end Denver apartment draws police attention after carrying elk parts in and out of his condo due to hunting logistics.
• Crew jokes about neighbors, true crime expectations, and how even non-hunters might confuse animal butchering with sinister behavior.

"I would expect him to be moving body parts out of his apartment." —Steven (45:19)
"Well, usually it'd be in a rolled up carpet, though." —Brody (46:15)

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Hunting Conflict: The One-Acre Triangle Debacle

[54:18 – 74:36]

• Listener asks for advice about a contentious property situation:
  • He bought land split by a creek; neighbor has a 1.1-acre triangle only accessible across his land.
  • The neighbor’s family repeatedly crosses his property to retrieve deer, as state law grants retrieval rights, but it disrupts his own hunts.
  • Should the listener be more generous, confront his neighbors, or block access?
• The crew discusses landowner rights, hunting etiquette, legal obligations, and potential diplomatic solutions.

“In America, like, I don’t care if you have one tree... If you have an acre, your state says retrieval is okay, I don’t think you’re in the wrong if your state said retrieval is not ok without permission.” —Steven (72:15)

• Advice: Negotiate a post-dark retrieval pact, offer to buy the triangle, or learn to live with the arrangement.

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Listener Plea: Breaking Into Hunting Without Mentors

[75:39 – 83:49]

• A 24-year-old Alberta listener shares his struggles as a first-generation hunter—"gatekept" by local hunters who refuse to share real advice, leading to frustration and near defeat.
• The team empathizes, provides context about how hard solo hunting can be, and encourages relationship building, volunteering, and perseverance.

"We have mentored people... very capable adults. We showed them how to hunt, we hunted with them, we were successful. They did not continue down the hunting path because it was too much of a pain in the ass." —Corinne (81:04)

• Direct appeal: If you’re an Alberta hunter or rancher willing to help, contact the MeatEater podcast to support this listener.

“If you’re from Alberta, you want to take this guy out and under your wing, send us a note.” —Steven (79:19)

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Sierra Club “Implosion” & Language Sensitivity

[87:19 – 91:02]

• Steven reads from Nelly Bowles’ Friday Free Press column about the Sierra Club’s internal strife and adoption of a language "equity guide" discouraging phrases with firearm or military references.
• The team riffs on alternatives like “go for it” instead of “pull the trigger” and jokes about pronunciation.

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Wildlife Policy Deep Dive: Colorado’s New Bison Rule

[91:13 – 99:13]

• Starting January 1, 2026, Colorado will treat free-ranging bison entering the state as wildlife, not livestock—unlike Montana and other states that classify all bison as livestock regardless of circumstance.
• The significance: This precedent allows for the management and possible wild establishment of bison herds (e.g., from Utah's Book Cliffs), rather than rendering them killable as stray livestock.
• Extensive context on management differences between wildlife and livestock, public land access, genetic “purity” arguments, and prospects for broader buffalo restoration efforts.

“If it walks in... on its own four feet, it’s a wild animal. Cut the tape, Phil.” —Steven (98:59)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the “softness” of specialty coffee shops:
  “When you go into a designated coffee shop where you have to tell them what you want and then go stand around while they make it. That’s a soft place.” —Steven (07:02)

• On rendering raccoon oil:
  "Three quarts of rendered coon oil. ...Dude, it smells. I haven’t tasted it yet." —Steven (10:40)

• On wildlife resilience:
  “Man, those critters are just tough.” —Corinne (13:21)

• Debunking movie myths:
  “It essentially means I’m the right man for the job. ...But there’s no reason to believe Doc Holliday ever used it.”—Listener email re: “I’ll be your huckleberry” (39:56)

• On the importance of just asking questions:
  “The fact you’d be like, hey, is it okay if my kid… She’s like, kid’s probably fine. They at least wonder.” —Steven (74:30)

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Additional Segments

Humorous Newsbits & Culture

• Tangents on Sierra Club DEI staffing, new Montana driver's licenses with eagles, and the decline of the print calendar business.
• Sweepstakes announcement: Listeners can win a trip to Bozeman, lodging, dinner, and a shopping spree.

Behind-the-Scenes Banter

• Jokes about acting skills (or lack thereof) among the crew.
• The evolution (or extinction) of business interests, from printing checks to VHS tapes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|-----------------------------| | 03:36 – 08:00 | Crew introductions, nicknames, and opening banter | | 08:00 – 15:00 | Field stories: coffee shop, raccoon oil, wounded geese | | 14:25 – 19:00 | The realities of lion hunting with dogs | | 19:13 – 32:43 | Animal mascot NFL picks and animal “black holes” | | 33:03 – 35:20 | Mountain lion magnet: listener encounter stories | | 35:20 – 42:28 | "I'll be your huckleberry" movie phrase investigation | | 44:00 – 47:00 | "The Condo Butcher": game processing in Denver | | 54:18 – 74:36 | The 1.1-acre triangle: hunting neighbor disputes | | 75:39 – 83:49 | Alberta new hunter struggles and mentorship advice | | 87:19 – 91:02 | Sierra Club implosion and sensitive language guide | | 91:13 – 99:13 | Colorado’s new bison-as-wildlife policy | | 99:13 – End | Sweepstakes, calendars, closing banter |

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Episode Tone & Takeaway

• Tone: Casual, irreverent, educational, and supportive, with frequent tangents and in-jokes.
• Theme: The complexity and humor of living as— and among—outdoorsfolk.
• Standing Out:
  • A showcase for the importance of mentorship, honesty, and adaptability in hunting and conservation.
  • Celebrates wildlife policy wins (bison as wildlife), while not shying away from neighbor disputes or institutional missteps.
  • Underscores the value of curiosity, help-seeking, and keeping things in perspective—whether gutting a coon on the roof or navigating access rights on your slice of deer woods.

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For Fans:
This episode is rich in stories, laughs, and nuanced discussion—essential MeatEater for anyone who loves hunting, public land debates, or just wants to hear friends take outdoor life both seriously and lightly.

Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

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[C]

I'm going to copy and paste it right up front. Oh, and then reason why.

[B]

Okay. And then you're sitting here listening at home, people will get to the end.

[C]

And hear you say, hey, Phil, you've.

[B]

Already heard me say this. Duh, I already said it. This is The Meat Eater podcast coming at you shirtless, severely bug bitten, and in my case, underwearless. Podcast, you can't predict anything. Brought to you by first light. When I'm hunting, I need gear that won't quit. First Light builds. No compromise. Gear that keeps me in the field longer. No shortcuts, just gear that works. Check it out@first light.com. that's f I r s t l I t dot com. Okay, folks, we got a good show lined up. Yanni's here. Yanni Chimani, the Latvian lover. What up, Randall Williams. You don't have any cute.

[D]

No embellishment.

[B]

No, no. Dr. Randall.

[D]

Yeah, thank you.

[B]

Brody's here. Man, that defies nicknames.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

There's no way to encapsulate Brody handily with a rhyme or anything. Good. Talk about a bunch of stuff from the Brody.

[C]

Brody.

[B]

Yeah. Grody Brody. That's good.

[E]

Yeah, that's very middle school. I got.

[C]

Well, that's the first thing that came to me. Give me a little bit of time, I might come up with something better. Corinne's also here. I feel like Corinne's gonna be weird name.

[B]

What would you call Corinne? Yeah. Have you ever had a nickname?

[A]

I have had a nickname. Maybe some people would be offended by it. I got a nickname when I went to. When I was in middle school. No, I. No, you guys probably wouldn't be offended, but it was Chew. C H E W. I went to a mean all girls camp and some gals gave me that nickname because it's a combination of Chinese and Jewish.

[B]

That's great. Can we go with, like, Chewy? Can we call you Chewy because. Because Chew.

[D]

I thought it was going to be like they didn't like the way you ate.

[B]

Yeah, Chewy.

[C]

I thought so. Chewy.

[D]

A comment on your table manners?

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, no.

[A]

I mean, I got a kick out of it.

[B]

It's just Chew is hard to like Chewy. That's endearing. Yeah. You can't call someone just Chew.

[C]

There's already a pretty famous Chewy nickname.

[A]

I wouldn't.

[B]

Chewy. I kind of Chewy. All right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's cool. Yeah, I got a bunch of some. Some news stuff. We're going to touch on the NFL. We're going to touch on some political stuff. We're going to touch on some wildlife politics involving one of my favorite animals, the American buffalo. We're going to touch on Crossbow. Is this crossbow love or hate? I don't think it's neither neutral on crossbow. We're going to talk about Billy the Kid and Aztecs. We're gonna talk about. I'll be your huckle bearer. Or not. We're gonna talk about the Denver Police Department. We're gonna talk about a guy who really needs to just buck up. We're gonna talk about hunting advice for a guy. We're gonna talk about the implosion of the Sierra Club and. And a symptom of that or a cause of that. Yeah. First off, here's a funny story. So Sunday, Saturday, I'm with my two younger kids, my older kids at work with my two little kids, and we're going out trapping and we go into. I'm not gonna name the. I'll tell you guys, the coffee shop later. Be like coffee shops around here. Like a designated coffee shop is a soft place. Yes, they are soft places. Like the most rugged thing that's gonna walk into a coffee shop around here. Be like a fly fisherman. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Well, hunters and, and loggers also walk into coffee shops.

[B]

This is not the feeling you get. And we go into a coffee shop and I'm getting a feeling. I'm getting like a feeling from the person, the gal that works there.

[A]

So it's like if, like going to a gas station and getting coffee versus.

[B]

Going to a coffee shop if you're at a lucky Lil's at 5 o'.

[E]

Clock in the morning, that's a hard place.

[B]

That's a hard place. The people that work there, not the dog unlucky Lils, but like, you know, the people that work there might do hard things.

[D]

This is a place that you can get a matcha or a macchiato or.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. When you go into a gas station, Pumpkin chai. It's a hard place for people to do hard things. When you go into a designated coffee shop where you have to tell them what you want and then go stand around while they make it. That's a soft place. It just is. Yanni, don't devil advocate me on this.

[C]

I'm just asking, like, if.

[E]

If they have a little sign that gives their WI Fi password, do you.

[C]

Feel like there's less or more judging that happens at either one of those places?

[B]

Not judging. It's just a soft place for soft people.

[C]

I know, but you're getting a vibe from her, so I'm wondering if she's like, kind of looking you guys over.

[B]

Yes, that's my story. But I'm just trying to set it up. Okay. I think you don't even know.

[D]

Should we just start?

[C]

Is this why you Invited me here or not.

[B]

It is. No, you're doing a good job.

[C]

Okay, thank you.

[B]

You're doing. I'm sorry. You're doing a great job. I'm getting soft vibes at the coffee shop. I'm with my two little kids. She's making the drinks. They want hot chocolates, she's making them. She says to my kids, what do you guys got going on today? My daughter says, trapping. Like watching her for some. This is so good sign. Do you know what I mean? Like some sign. And I, this is all happening so fast in my head. I'm watching for some sign of like what? Condemnation, clarification and confusion. Nothing. Nothing. And I'm already thinking to myself, man, not even like a follow up question. Okay. Then she hands the kids their hot chocolate and says, have fun shopping.

[E]

Yeah, I'll point out you said it was a soft place, but it's kind of a soft move to go buy hot chocolate in a coffee shop.

[B]

I told you, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there. It's just don't act like you don't get what I'm saying, man. When you walk into a coffee shop.

[E]

I know, listen, you don't get judged at the lucky little.

[B]

I will say not going to judge.

[D]

You know, there's. There's two gradations. I think of coffee shops. There's places that have drip coffee ready to go and then there's the places that do pour over and they don't like a coffee shop or stand that doesn't have just drip coffee. To my mind, it's.

[C]

You think that's far and few between. I mean most places have drip.

[D]

What I'm, what I'm saying is that there are places that don't just have drip ready to go. They say, oh, we could make you an Americano.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

It's a place that deals. They traffic and indulgences.

[D]

It's.

[B]

And like, well, there's performance. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

And they can charge you more for that performance.

[B]

Here's my other story. And this isn't even. This is a short story.

[C]

I liked your first one.

[B]

Here's another one. I. Okay.

[D]

He's ordered them in in goodness. So it's only going to get better.

[B]

Check this one out. I was happened to be skinning an extremely rotund raccoon. I thought to myself, I'm gonna make some coon grease and send it to Clay just because I don't know why it seemed like a good idea. I'm not kidding you, man. You're gonna think I'm lying. You can call my kids and ask. I got three. And this is not being like, this is not being fiddle fiddling around. Three quarts. Two of them are on my desk upstairs. Three quarts of rendered coon oil.

[E]

How much did that coon weigh?

[B]

He was at 20 pounds, but just fat. Three quarts, maybe 20 pounds.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Have you tried eating it and cooking?

[B]

Dude, it smells. I haven't tasted it yet. It smells totally normal. I don't think you'd know the difference. I don't think you know the difference. Oh, my buddy's like, you did that in the kitchen. I said, my wife never messes with me about anything like that. It's just a little shout out to my wife.

[E]

We gotta fry a burger in that stuff or something.

[B]

See how I can't wait to do something with it. And I took those cracklings.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And fired them up on the roof. I had my kid fire them up on the roof of the guest house so we can kind of look out at it and. Holy smokes. You never see magpies get worked up. Here's my last story. You guys feel free to share a quick story. I've got three. These are all hot off the press. Show that picture, Phil. Here we go. Now what people are looking at here. Yesterday we were goose hunting and got. We're hunting Canada geese, but got two snows. Two snows. How is that bird not only alive? Not only alive, but fat. As fat as his buddy. There's a picture of a cat of a snow goose here that is missing. It's all healed over. Whatever happened to it is missing over half of its upper bill.

[A]

Looks like a severe under.

[E]

See, they're scooping with its lower jaw or turning its head.

[B]

I don't know.

[E]

Or something.

[B]

You know, Max said. Max. I sent that picture to Max and he mentioned that I sent him see if you ever seen anything like it. And he mentioned it looks like when a coconut gets into its spawning phase. A kipe. Yeah, that's it. Isn't that something?

[D]

Yeah, I think the. The totally just looks like a person's.

[B]

Nose flying around being totally normal.

[E]

Yeah, I'm looking at it thinking it's missing a chunk of its upper beak. Not that its lower beak is way long.

[C]

That's what he said.

[B]

No, no. Over half of its upper beak is just not there. But you were mentioning the kipe thing. Oh, sorry.

[E]

That's what.

[B]

But it gives.

[D]

That gives that vibe.

[E]

Well, you see fish like that that are missing. Missing a little.

[B]

John.

[C]

Well, what's interesting to me in the missing part is that it's like the nostril. Like reformed.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. A lot of reforming happened on. I don't know why I didn't save. I should have saved that head. I didn't save that head. You know, I'll be able to get it back. A lot of reforming happened on that thing.

[E]

Did you check its crop?

[B]

Because in the morning and. No, it was early in the morning.

[C]

Man, those critters are just tough.

[B]

Isn't that something? Yeah. Funny about that. After we hunt, we go over to the farmer's house to thank them and say hi and everything. They're just coming in from church, and his. And. And his wife says, if you see two white ones. And I'm thinking, oh, no. And I said, well, we got those. Is that a problem? No, but I was scared to death. You know, you have that really fast, like.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

So those two were just hanging with the candidates.

[B]

Apparently they'd been hanging around for the last few days. But she's like, no. Sooner as she's saying that, I'm like, oh, it's not. I hope that's not the hers.

[A]

What did she mean to say?

[B]

I don't know what I thought. Just like. Just. I've been seeing them, which is like if you see too. And in my head I'm thinking, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, well, we got those. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. I don't know how it could be alive. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Johnny told us a great story, but he can't share it.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah. I told you a couple of good ones, but you can't share them.

[B]

Well, no, not because they're illegal.

[C]

No. I could tell you a story about my multiple car accidents in one day that was not that good. What I would like to say, I told this story to Dan Flores this morning, and he sat there, seemingly entertained and listening intently. So I'll tell it again. But, you know, a lot of people still think that hunting with dogs is somehow easy, easier. You're giving, you know, way too much advantage to the hunter, you know?

[B]

Cause they're just focused on the shooting part.

[C]

Exactly. They don't know what goes into it. A friend of mine treed a mature Tom on Friday. Let it go. Didn't want to kill it for whatever reason by himself. He decided to be better if he had a couple friends with him.

[B]

Big coffee shop guy, huh? It's a big coffee shop guy.

[C]

I don't know. Maybe. But he lets him go, walks away from the tree around 12 or noon on Friday. We're back at that same tree on Saturday morning, about 9am so you don't know when the cat left the tree.

[B]

But this is based off a hot tip.

[C]

No, we're all back at the same tree. The same tree that he was at? Yes.

[B]

The day before there.

[C]

No, he was with us. We all came back together.

[B]

Is that routine that seems like borderline harassment?

[C]

What, to the mountain lion, chase him.

[B]

Up a tree one day, then go back to that same tree and chase him up a tree again the next day?

[C]

Exactly. See, you would think so, right? Just like a slam dunk, right?

[B]

I would think that was a slam dunk. Well, no, because by that point, got 24 hours. It's the same as cutting a fresh track.

[C]

Well, it hasn't been 24 hours, but you would. In my mind, I almost said no, because I was like, you know what? I'd rather go to my own spot that I'm going to choose. And if I find the track, which is usually like the most expired exciting part of the whole hunt, is when you look over and you go, oh, my gosh, there it is. Like, I found a track. Like, I don't want to miss that. And we're going to go to a spot where I'm going to walk to a track.

[B]

Understood.

[C]

I'm like, I'll go. It'll be fun. I want to. I want to see what, like, 140, 150 pound tom looks like. You know, that's what the guesstimate was. And so we go. It starts snowing that morning. Pretty good, pretty hard. It's snowing and it's snowing. We start on the track. Mingus, actually, we left without the dog, so we could actually just find the track and kind of sort it out, see where it was going. Mingus broke out of his kennel. So he rolls in. It wasn't very secure.

[B]

The rest of dogs, Mingus is like, so long suckers.

[C]

These kennels that ride on the backs of snowmobiles are in the sleds behind snowmobiles. They take a beating. And so a lot of times the latches and stuff don't work. And that dog is one to start pushing and checking stuff out after he gets bored or cold or whatever. So anyways, he shows up and we find the track, and as soon as he smells it, you know, it's. He just loses his crap. So we tie him off, the other dogs come, we cut him Loose. It's just, you know, all voices are going off and we're like, oh, yeah, we're gonna have this time in a tree in 10 to 30 minutes. You know, 30 minutes later, the dogs kind of slow down and they start having a loss where they're not on the track anymore. It's snowing. A lot of snow. A lot of snow. So we start walking the track with the dog, basically. Long story short, we get to a point a couple hours later where the tracks are literally like, they started as these like nice cups in the snow. You couldn't see the track, the, you know, toes, but you could see a nice cup in the snow. And eventually that cup just got shallower and shallower and shallower. And then it was just flat snow. And at about noon we're like, we're not catching this cat. And like there was enough snow where like the dogs like couldn't even dig the scent out of it. And he got away.

[B]

Ain't so easy. What's so hard about shooting some cat out of a tree?

[C]

So we were talking about it like how easy it should have been, and the guy was actually saying that he's done it enough times that he feels like he's batting.300 on leaving a cat in a tree and coming back the next day and catching it again.

[B]

What's a good average?

[C]

So 30% of the time he's catching.

[B]

That's what 300 means. Yeah, wanted to say 30.

[C]

I don't know, Randall, because they're going down.

[D]

They're going down to the, the another decimal point.

[C]

Ah, right.

[B]

One at 30.0.

[D]

Well, that adds a whole new thing to it.

[B]

Batting a 300 is 1 in 30.

[E]

No, no, it's 3 out of 30%.

[D]

Means you're hitting the ball 3 out of 10 at bats.

[B]

If they just did it the other way, I would know what the hell it meant. Number five sports podcast.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Spotify just released their 220. So this show is categorized in sports because they're sportsmen. Spotify came out with the top sports podcast of 2025. We're number five. The four above us are like actual sports podcasts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Number one is the Kelsey guys and no one cares about that. But Randall's explaining that now. And then his girlfriend comes on the show and then all kinds of little girls listen and it gives them a. It gives you like an inflated sense.

[D]

Yeah. Their week to week downloads don't make them a national number one sports podcast.

[B]

But just now and then Taylor Swift. Because if I was dating Trump and Trump came on, we'd have huge boost. Yeah, huge boost.

[D]

Or Taylor Swift.

[B]

Well, she's already dating someone. You get what I'm saying? I was trying to think of a famous person. Yeah, the Swifties. Yeah. So that. So that doesn't count. Randall Sex. That's not a legitimate show.

[A]

And the other ones are. Yeah, part of my take. Yeah.

[B]

Like football, main sports, which got us thinking. We're talking about, like, how to. How to, like, try to harness some of the energy there. And we thought if someone tried to pick sports team wins based off only mascot analysis because they love wildlife.

[E]

Can I. Can I ask you a question before we get started? Can you name the cities that these teams are attached to?

[B]

Seattle. And don't know, because I think they moved it. They did. They moved it, right? They did. And I don't recognize any team that wasn't a team when I was a kid. Like, I still have a hard time with TV channels that aren't ABC, CBS, and NBC channels three. So you're not 13, you're.

[D]

You didn't go to Max, you just stayed in hbo, man.

[B]

No, I remember. I remember when. Yeah, I remember, like, your parents leaving, like, when cable came out. I remember, like, your mom and dad would go out to dinner and they'd, like. The last thing they'd say is, don't turn on Cinemax.

[E]

The football player remembers best is the Refrigerator Perry.

[B]

Fridge Perry. Sure.

[D]

How could you not?

[B]

No. I don't count any team that didn't exist when I wasn't a little kid. It's like, it's illegitimate in my mind, but I feel like the Rams, that used to be a California team.

[D]

And it is once again.

[B]

Oh, it is. Whose team is it? LA. Huh? I would have guessed that.

[D]

From LA to St. Louis to LA.

[B]

Oh, okay. I would have got that right. But I would have got it right accidentally. Yeah, I would have got it right.

[D]

Trust your instincts on these.

[B]

I would have got it right as the old. Yeah, yeah. Aura Frames is the answer to every holiday gifting moment. So you never got to struggle again to find the perfect holiday gift. In fact, my wife's mom, for instance, I'm kind of giving the secret away here. She doesn't listen to the show. We got my wife's mom in Aura Frame. We've already preloaded it with all kind of photos of her grandkids, which is really the only thing she wants anyways. You send it to her, she plugs it in, and it's like a digital picture book. Right. And then as we get new photos, we just keep sending them to her. You just through an email upload new photos so when she wakes up in the morning, there's brand new photos of the grandkids. Everybody's happy. You can personalize your gift too. You can add a message before it arrives. A gift box is included so every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. Now don't wait. You can win the holidays now with Aura frames for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off or is best selling Carver mat frames named number one by wire cutter. You do this by using the promo code Me Eater at checkout. So again, auraframes.com promo code me Eater. This deal is exclusive to listeners and the frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. When you're in the back country, don't forget your own back country. Keep it pristine and confidently clean by bringing along wet extra large dude wipes. I'm glad to be doing dude wipe ads because I buy dude wipes. Anyways. I've been a long time dude wipe. I'm a dude wipe dude all the time. Just like your truck gets muddy out in the wild soaking your butt. You never clean your vehicle with dry paper towels. So why would you clean your butt with dry toilet paper? Wetter cleans better so ditch the itch and switch from TP to wet extra large dude wipes. Love them. Like going on a ten day moose hunt. I just bring a pack along. Not only that, so they're extra large. Okay. If you're a little baby, you get little baby wipes. If you're a man you get extra large dude wipes. And when you're out in nature, it's going to inevitably call. So make sure you bring along wet dude wipes and three adventure sizes like day hike single wipes, 18 pack weekend wipers or you know for long trips you got a 48 count pack. And it's not just that. Like when you're out camping, just sleeping in a sleeping bag, let's say you're gone for 10 days, whatever. I use them just to clean up at night. Like you know, scrub the old pit, scrub your arms if it's all dusty, just kind of get your neck and everything cleaned up. I love having them with me. Dude wipes. It is the best clean. Pants down. They're available at Amazon. That's where I Usually order mine from is that Amazon? But you get them at Walmart nationwide. Fantastic product. Proud to be doing ads for these boys at Dude Wipes. Hey everybody, I'm talking here about Montana Knife Company. From our very own state of Montana, this company was founded by one of the most experienced master blade Smiths in the world, Josh Smith, who over recent months I've become friends with and my God, have I learned a lot about knives from this guy. Just a phenomenal hometown company that makes world renowned knives. Josh has been making knives for 30 years. You get one of these knives up and open it, it is sharp like something that came from outer space. And here's the deal. They make knives that can be sharpened. You can work on these knives. If you don't want to work on them, you send it to them and they'll work on it. They'll get it sharp. Phenomenal hunting knives. If you want to see them in action. We just did. Me and John Hayes, the taxidermist just did a video about how to properly skin a black bear. Watch that video and in that video you'll see Montana knife Company Knives in action. MKC products usually sell out in minutes of being released, which is true. But now for the first time, they're dabbling with having knives in stock on their site. So right now you can grab yourself a Blackfoot 2.0 or the ultralight speed goat. Use code meat eater and you get 10 off your first order. Montana Knife Company, working knives for working people. 10% off with code meat eater. That's a good deal. So yeah, yeah. Rams and Seattle Seahawks.

[D]

Yeah, These are week 16 predictions here. So.

[B]

So coming up, we got Rams and Seahawks and like, it doesn't denote what kind of a Seahawk is an osprey. Fastest animal, Fastest animal on earth. Rams. It's like if it was wild rams or like mountain rams, but I don't know, it could be just some manure encrusted. Yeah. And you know what kind of like grosses me out about actual like sheep? Rams. All the fecal matter connected, that's always hooked to their wool.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then some of them had those like grossly outsized testes that would reduce the athleticism of any thing.

[C]

But a wild ram also has giant testes for this.

[B]

But he's not, he's not fecal matter encrusted.

[C]

You're right.

[A]

So.

[E]

But we used to call them ranch maggots.

[B]

Sure.

[D]

I just think with the right game plan, you know, you've seen the videos of birds of prey knocking mammals off of.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think there is one of a sheep getting killed by a. Or maybe a mountain goat getting killed by a bird.

[B]

If I go Seahawks on this, I'm going it because specificity. Because by calling yourselves the Rams. I picture barn Rams, which are gross.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Mostly gross.

[A]

So are you calling it on Thursday, December 18th game, it's Seahawks winning over the Rams.

[B]

Yeah. Now what are the. What are the actual people say, Let me see.

[E]

That one's probably pretty close.

[D]

I would guess the Rams are good though.

[E]

They're both good.

[D]

Now if we were real national sports podcast, we would be betting the lines we wouldn't just be calling winners and losers. So I really don't know. Well, like, you know, it's like by how many Rams by three and a half. You know, I don't know about that. So. So we. But we're just trying to get incrementally higher ranked in the national sports podcast by entering into.

[B]

And we're not going to do that by not being. We're not going to do that by not being like more nuanced and specific.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a half ass attempt to increase our relevance as a sports podcast.

[B]

Falcons v Cardinals. That's a tough one. They're talking about Northern Cardinals, which is weird.

[E]

Arizona, but they got moved too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What kind of Falcons Cardinals is tough. Well, I don't. General Falcon.

[B]

I just don't know what kind of Falcons are talking about. And I'm.

[C]

And it's like, don't you think nine out of ten Falcons are going to take out nine out of ten Cardinals every time?

[B]

Yeah, but I think there's more to it than that. Oh, okay. Like if it was jeer Falcons or something, I'd be like, I don't know. Just seems a little like not specific.

[D]

But if you had to bet the money that you need to pay your rent next month.

[B]

If, if you said, I got a falcon. I'm not telling you what. Yeah, kind. Yeah, he said I got a cardinal. I'm not telling you what kind of. Yeah, I'd be like, I think that the falcon, the undisclosed falcon will conquer the undisclosed cardinal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just. Just generally. And of course, there you have it, folks.

[A]

December 21st, Falcons.

[B]

Okay. But that logic falls apart if we get to Bengals v. Dolphins. A Bengal. Well, are they in the water or not? They're playing football on the grass. So if you throw a dolphin out on the grass and you throw a Bengal tiger out on the grass. But I. Dolphins get too much attention.

[E]

But Bengal tigers are Very comfortable.

[D]

Bengals at dolphins. Just so we're clear.

[C]

Ooh.

[D]

So we're on the home turf of the dolphin water.

[A]

Yeah, I did look it up. Bengals can swim three to four miles an hour.

[B]

Well, dolphins are good for about 60.

[A]

At when if they're at, like, their burst through sprint speed.

[B]

I look at this one more like. I was looking at. More like dolphins get too much attention. Everybody thinks they're right. Yeah, they're like. They're kind of like. They got. They got a little overplayed. It was like. Yeah, I just feel about. Dolphins are the wildlife version of. They get too much attention.

[E]

Imagine how cool it would be if you're watching a nature document and you saw a Bengal tiger eating a dolphin. Like, he somehow got him out of the shallows.

[B]

I'd like that.

[D]

Yeah, but then you don't want the Bengal to eat the dolphin because then the Bengals have a worse draft pick next year because the season's already just completely.

[E]

You've already lost the bed.

[B]

See, Randall, you should see. You should have a sports podcast because you know this stuff.

[D]

Yeah, well, not really, but doing our best here. National sports podcast, folks. Number five.

[A]

Wait, so is that Bengals winning over dolphins?

[B]

Steve, I can't rate it like how you want me to. There's an annoyance factor that I have with dolphins. I love them, okay. But just. They just absorb too much attention.

[A]

So you'd like them to lose.

[B]

Was that me? No. When I was working on my buffalo book, a guy said to me, because I was writing about all these different. The reason I'm revisiting this in my mind is because I'm writing a new forward. It's been 17 years since I wrote that book, and I'm writing a new forward. And in it, I'm sort of doing around the country, snapshot of the politics surrounding the animal and. And things that have happened since the book came out. Anyways, it's causing me to reflect on a thing that happened when I was working on the book, where a guy said, with. With all the stuff going on with the animal, right? Like, there's issues in Alaska. There's issues in Arizona. There's issues in Utah. All this is happening. And he said to me, the thing is Yellowstone, it's a black hole. It sucks in all the attention. So all this. Everything. All these things you're talking about will always be in the American mind, unknown, because the park sucks everything into it. And when people think of the politics of the animal, they only can think of what's going on in the park. Everything else is lost to them. And I think dolphins are something like a black hole. An animal black hole.

[D]

I mean, they had flipper.

[B]

They absorb too much attention in wildlife. I did see. I'd like to see the other guys, the tigers get them.

[D]

I did get to see. When we were in Europe, we went to the zoo in Vienna, and I saw a tiger eating the leg of something. It's one of the coolest things I've.

[B]

Ever seen, but they probably threw it to it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

But just watching something chew and rip, that's all I got.

[C]

That reminds me of a story I heard when I was driving home from Wisconsin. I was catching up on the dock. Moving, catch, catching up up with old friends. Otter.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Old fishing buddy of ours down in Vail. That kid. I call him a kid. He's not a kid anymore, but he's, you know, much younger than us, so be like, calling Randall a kid. You know, he's that age. He's got. He's had more for not being a hound hunter. He's had more mountain lion encounters than anybody I know. For just a dude that kind of. He's gotten more serious about hunting. But when we knew him, he was very casual hunter. Now he's got more into it.

[B]

Just kind of runs into him, like.

[C]

Tells me a story about watching a kitten 30 yards away. Kitten, mountain lion in a big grove of aspens, as you are bound to see in Colorado. And the leaves are all gently falling out of the trees, and the kitten's just sitting there on his back legs, jumping up and swatting. Really got to watch it for, like, 20 minutes.

[B]

You're kidding.

[C]

Yeah. Well, this year, he's hiking around, and he sees the head of a cow elk, like, kind of behind a log. Goes walking over to the cow elk, and he can tell that it's been kind of covered up, you know, but it's not. It's not registering yet. But the first thing in his mind is like, oh, I'm gonna open her mouth and check to see if the ivories are in there and pop the ivories out of there. You know, he gets right up to her and literally is like. Like, gonna almost touch her upper lip or whatever to look for the ivory. And he looks over and eating on the hindquarter. He says it's the biggest mountain lion he's ever seen. And just full still out there. And he. And all of a sudden, the lion was like, holy, what are you doing here? You know? And boom, took off.

[B]

No way.

[C]

I trust him. Yeah. And I'M telling you, like, I forget him. And wasn't it Justin Carr and him were walking down a trail at night and they had one coming at him. They ended up shooting at it. And then like, he. He's just.

[E]

Maybe just shooting a. Scared.

[C]

Yeah, something like that. But anyways, mountain lion magnet. And yeah, he's like, that was pretty close. I said, did you get the ivories out? He's like, no, I left.

[B]

Here's the guy wrote in this is a good one. In your recent episode of the podcast with Mark Lee Gardner, when talking about Billy the Kid's affinity for the song we call Turkey and the Straw, he said Billy called it a gyna because the Spanish language didn't really have a word for turkey. Hmm. I find that hard to believe. Then he goes on to say, you asked him what about Guajalote, which is what they call turkeys in Sonora, Mexico? And he didn't really have a response for that. This guy wrote in, guajalote is a regional term. It's borrowed from. It's a. It's a sort of borrowed term in some regional Latin American Spanish dialects made from two Aztec words, Huey big and willote monster. Big monster. The literal meaning is pretty cool because it personifies the bird's imposing appearance, but also symbolizes the importance of the bird in the culture. In the. In the culture of those people. Monster bird. No, what is it?

[D]

Big monster.

[B]

Big monster.

[C]

Big monster.

[B]

I'm sticking with that from now on.

[C]

AI gave me a bunch of different nouns in Spanish. El pavo, el guajalote was number two. El chompipe, el fracasso, el pato mariado and el potoso.

[B]

Go.

[C]

So, yeah, must be very regional.

[B]

Guyina, Turkey in the Straw. Over the course of the history of this podcast, there's been something we've talked about a ton, and this is the last time it'll ever come up. And that is whether in Tombstone, the movie, when Val Kilmer says to someone, I'll be your huckleberry, the hell's he talking about? For a while, I got duped by the Internet and I thought I was reading one day all about how they screwed up. And he was meant to say, I'll be your huckle bearer, meaning I'll be your pall bearer. Why? That as the Internet tricked me into believing the poles, like the. The poles on a casket were made of hucklewood. And someone pointed out to me, I don't know what hucklewood even is, but I got duped by it. I'm like, A gullible guy. I'm like, my wife at the vet. I got duped and.

[A]

Is that a story you missed? Up top, Steve?

[B]

No, my wife gets duped by, like.

[D]

Like, she says yes to all the.

[B]

Any. Like.

[C]

Any.

[B]

Like, oh, this dog needs this. Has this problem. And she's like, oh, we better take care of that.

[C]

Oh, this town is rife with that. You got to be careful.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's. She. They really. I need to. Yeah. So, yeah, I got duped by the Internet on this. I brought it up to Gardner, Mark Gardner. He. He says. He. He said, that's urban legend, and I don't know what is Huckle Wood. To which I said, I never thought. I don't know what that means. So this guy, he's. There's a guy that wrote in. He's like, josh, what's the name of his Wild west podcast?

[A]

Oh, I gotta check that up. Let me go back.

[B]

He's got a Wild west podcast. He says Huckleberry and Gardner got into this. You would legitimately run around at that time, you could say Huckleberry. No one knows where it came from. It appears in magazine articles, poems, even advertisements in the mid to late 1800s. It essentially means I'm the right man for the job. The screenwriter took it directly from a book about Tombstone. Okay. But there's no reason to believe Doc Holliday ever used it. But he's saying that Doc Holliday would have certainly known the phrase I'll be your Huckleberry, meaning I'm the man for the job.

[A]

The pot. The podcast is wild. The Wild west extravaganza. I've never listened to it. So.

[B]

Yeah, I can't. I'm not. I don't. I just re. I'm just. Yeah. No, I don't know. It could be. It could be a whole show about. About. I don't know what. Sounds like it's about Wild west stuff.

[D]

And extravaganzas.

[B]

And extravaganzas. He says, you can't locate any mention of Huckleberry prior to the movie Tombstone. He goes on to. He kind of tracked down who started the whole thing. He tracks it Back to a 2008 post on Twitter where a guy used the phrase I'll be your Huckleberry. He finds him, shoots him. A DM asks him, where did you hear I'll be your Huckleberry? He said he couldn't remember, but probably from his brother Dan.

[E]

And there you have it.

[B]

A few people have reached out saying that they heard it directly From Bill Knight Kite. Kite, the former executive director of the Frontier Museum and Doc Holiday Collection at Glenwood Springs. So he calls Mr. Kite, saying, hey, why are you running around saying, I'll be your huckle bearer? He says he heard it online, got duped, too. So I think that we can. I don't know. I trust this guy. I feel like when Doc Holliday. When you're sitting there and you're on a date, you're on a date, you know, like, you're just kind of getting dating someone and you're trying to impress them. I haven't done this in a long time, but, like, you throw in Tombstone, you know, and it gets to that part, and you're like, hey, baby. You know, that's not actually what it was. It was, I'll be your Huckleberry. You're wrong if you're trying to impress her. Yeah.

[D]

Unless she does her sleuthing, though, you might just depress her.

[B]

Oh. Like, she might not go digging in.

[D]

Yeah, it's doubtful. It's doubtful that she would actually.

[B]

I did. Then, you know, you got to keep her.

[C]

I think it would be just as impressive to say, hey, do you know what that means? And then explain that. It means, you know, I'm the right man for the job.

[D]

But then she would have been. But then she would have been like.

[B]

I know what it means.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Or if she asked you to make dinner or dishes, you say, do you.

[C]

Think that in the context of that movie, of that scene, that you knew that it meant I'm the right man for the job?

[B]

He says, I don't know. They're having, like, a tense moment, and he's like, basically, I'll kill you. Yeah.

[C]

Right. He's saying, basically, I'll kill you, like, I'm the man. Which is different than, I'm the right man for the job.

[E]

No, no, because in that movie, they're, like, going back and forth like, I'll kill you. You'll kill me, like. And Val's like, but in this hypothetical.

[D]

Scenario, she might not have been paying attention that closely to the plot of the film. So maybe the context is lost on her. And just explaining that Huckleberry is the right man for the job might still impress her.

[E]

I doubt it.

[B]

On my first date, I made a mistake. I was in a museum, and I made the mistake.

[C]

This is a first date or with your wife?

[B]

My actual first date with my wife.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You know, they play those little. You can go in those little booths, and they play, like, those little movies, and then Just starts over again. We came in halfway through and I turned to her, say, don't worry, this will end. And we'll just sit here and watch till it gets back to where we began.

[E]

They have a term for that these days, don't they, Corinne?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's like, oh, thank you so much for explaining that to me. I was, like, baffled by how we would take in the whole thing, you know? Don't you worry your pretty little head.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

This will. This will come back around. And we'll watch the first part. Denver police investigate body parts being removed from a luxury apartment. Well, this starts out sad. Guy writes in, due to divorce, I moved into an apartment in a nice part of Denver, Cherry Creek. That's too bad. And I wonder, like, what happened?

[E]

He tried to explain. Huckleberry.

[B]

Oh, man, I'm gonna be depressed all day about this guy's marriage dissolving.

[D]

It goes on.

[B]

Yeah, just. I mean, I just gotta take a minute to reflect on that, you know? So he goes on to say he grew up in western Washington. Okay. Kind of slowed down. Grew up hunting and fishing. Kind of slowed down on hunting. Fishing. Got into his mid-40s and got back into hunting during COVID So now here he is, he's divorced, living in an apartment, shoots cow elk. Brings it back to his high end apartment building. It's real hot. The game processor is not open. He starts moving parts of this elk up into his apartment. Gets a visit from law enforcement officials investigating reports of a man moving body.

[A]

Partners from his pickup into his apartment.

[B]

A man moving body parts into his apartment.

[A]

I mean, I wonder, like, what the person reporting him must have thought. Run away.

[B]

I would expect him to be moving body parts out of his apartment. Yeah. Like, what scenario would you kill someone? Put yourself in a murderer's shoes, you kill someone, Dismember him?

[C]

No, but his email says into pickup from apartment.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

So he doesn't quite. Yeah, we're kind of. We're missing a little part of the story, but he must have. Maybe this was after 48 hours and he was finally taking it to the.

[B]

Butcher of a man loading body parts into his pickup. That makes sense. Yeah, because that's what a murder would do.

[E]

Usually it'd be in a rolled up carpet, though.

[B]

Yeah, well, unless you didn't want to look suspicious.

[E]

Suitcase.

[A]

Yeah, we got it. We gotta ask.

[B]

When I see guys carrying a very heavy roller serpent.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I always know. I know what I'm looking at.

[A]

It looked like he was holding it.

[B]

You can't fool me.

[D]

When I was doing my dissertation research. I found a newspaper article.

[B]

Little flex there. You hear? A little flex?

[E]

Well, it's.

[D]

How else do you find this article? In the 1950s, a. A woman killed her children.

[B]

Oh, come on.

[D]

And buried them in the backyard.

[B]

Okay, but we already got this guy get divorced now.

[D]

And the cops came and asked the neighbors, like, did you see this? And they're like, oh, yeah, I just assumed she was burying a bunch of deer meat from the freezer.

[B]

Randall. Can you talk to Randall sometime, Corinne, and have him, like, try to practice a little discretion?

[D]

We're talking about. They were already joking about the murder. I thought it was interesting.

[E]

Yeah, but we were joking about elk parts, not children.

[B]

Oh, my God, Randall.

[A]

I think he's trying to make the point. Anything.

[B]

Lord, anything's possible.

[A]

That it would make more sense that the average person. Cold Blood, would imagine that they be.

[D]

If you just assume everything is hunting.

[A]

Somebody'S gonna get away as opposed to human.

[E]

Well, I don't think you can fault the average person for seeing someone carrying an elk quarter and thinking it might be right.

[A]

Someone's.

[B]

But picture, it's like, picture this. You've seen the movie the Burbs. Best movie in the world, dude. Tom Hanks, he's married to Carrie Fisher. Like, kind of like post Princess Leia.

[E]

One of the movies.

[B]

So in love with Carrie Fisher. Like, I now am very in love with her. Then not Princess Leia, but Burbs. You don't know the Burbs. Some new guys move in next door to town and they start doing weird stuff. So I'm saying, like, here you are in a luxury apartment building, new guy moves in. Yeah, okay. Kind of like, what's he got going on? Then one day he's carrying bloody packages and load them in a truck.

[E]

Right?

[B]

You could see that he would think, like, you'd think the worst.

[D]

Especially if you've just been watching the burps. You're primed for it.

[C]

See something, say something.

[B]

Yeah, the whole premise of the burbs, the whole thing is this. There's all this stuff that's so damning. Damning. And it builds you up to be like it was all a misunderstanding. Like, every little thing can be explained away, but then in the end, there's a surprise twist. And it was worse than anyone thought. My kids loved it when I played it for him recently.

[C]

Oh, so I can play it. I'm gonna play it for my kids. It's okay. It's an okay kid movie.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I got in trouble big time. The other day, I don't even want to mention what movie. I started watching it with one of my kids and all of a sudden a scene came on. I'm like, stop. Look the other way. Blankets.

[B]

Oh, you've got to tell us now. Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. I got mean. Whatever damage is, it is what it is. Yeah. Inglorious Bastards.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's a real good one for the youngsters, right? Any Tarantino film, it'll just be like a, you know, the killing will only go on for a few hours.

[E]

It'll just be a tasteful graphic at all.

[D]

It's not gratuitous viol violence. Tarantino never went for that.

[B]

Yeah. Understand, kids, in some ways, this is a statement about excessive violence.

[C]

That part I figured it was. It was okay and she could handle it. It was the. It was the first sex scene that. That caught us off guard.

[B]

This episode is sponsored in part by BetterHelp. The holiday season is a great time to show your friends and your family and your loved ones that you care about them by taking care of them. But you also got to remember this. You have to set time aside to take care of yourself. That allows you to be better able to show up for the people that rely on you. And it might be that taking care of yourself involves having a therapist that you can talk to, especially if you don't have people that you can talk to and get good, solid advice from. Or that can give you a sounding board for what's going on in your life that doesn't come with. With bias just comes from the clarity of a trained outside perspective. Right? Well, Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and they are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And BetterHelp's 12 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. But if you aren't happy with your match, like if you're not happy with your therapist, they'll switch you to a different therapist at any time. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] Me Eater that's better. H E L P.com Me Eater hey, I'm not ashamed to tell you I'm a big Dude Wipes fan. I keep Dude Wipes in my backpack. I keep Dude Wipes at our fish shack. I keep Dude Wipes in my truck. Garage, wherever the hell. I just keep them around. And also, you know, one of the reasons I got kids, man, when you got kids, you learn that you keep them around because little butts make big messes. When nature calls for your kid, answer with the pristine clean of Little Dude Wipes. They're gentle enough for little cheeks and strong enough for toddler streaks. So they can be the first generation that never has to suffer the agony of dry toilet paper. The next time your kid goes number two, show them their number one with Little Dude Wipes. Little Dude Wipes are wet extra large flushable wipes, alcohol and chemical free. They're the same size as Extra Large Dude Wipes. Perfect for the big messes the little kids make. Kids are known to get a little stinky. Wipe away the funk with Little Dude Wipes bubble gum. The bubble gum scented flushable wipe free little stinker. Also available in fragrance free Little Dude Wipes are made with 100 plant based natural fibers so you can keep the planet healthy for your little dude. Available exclusively at Walmart nationwide. And remember, check out the bubble gum. You'll get a kick out of it. Hey everybody, I'm talking here about Montana Knife Company. From our very own state of Montana, this company was founded by one of the most experienced master blade Smiths in the world, Josh Smith, who over recent months I've become friends with and my God, have I learned a lot about knives from this guy. Just a phenomenal hometown company that makes world renowned knives. Josh has been making knives for 30 years. You get one of these knives up and open it, it is sharp like something that came from outer space. And here's the deal. They make knives that can be sharpened. You can work on these knives. If you don't want to work on them, you send it to them and they'll work on it. They'll get it sharp. Phenomenal hunting knives. If you want to see them in action, we just did. Me and John Hayes, the taxidermist just did a video about how to properly skin a black bear. Watch that video and in that video you'll see Montana Knife Company Knives in action. MKC products usually sell out in minutes of being released, which is true. But now for the first time, they're dabbling with having knives in stock on their site. So right now you can grab yourself a Blackfoot 2.0 or the ultralight speedgoat. Use Code Meat Eater and you get 10% off your first order. Montana Knife Company working knives for working people. 10% off with the Code Meat Eater. That's A good deal. Okay, this is the guy like, like this. He's. I love this guy, this great guy.

[A]

But he calls himself out in like the first sentence.

[B]

He does, he does. This is a good one. I want. This is one for people to think about. Stephen Crew. I think I might be turning into the type of. I kind of glossed over his first sentence. You are, you are. He says, Stephen Crew. I think I might be turning into the type of person I despise.

[A]

See, we like him.

[B]

He's a good guy. I bought some property in a mid. He only want to name the state. He's like, I bought some property in a Midwest state a few years ago. The property has a large creek about 30ft across that meanders through and serves as a significant dividing line between one half of the property and the other. The creek runs in such a way that it cuts through the corner of the neighbor's property, leaving a small triangle. He estimates this triangle to be about 2 acres of their property on what I would refer to as my side of the creek because it is only accessible by crossing the creek. When I bought the property, I knew that there was a deer stand on the small triangle. And after I purchased, the guy who hunts the neighbor's property, which was the owner's son in law, reached out to me and let me know that he previously had permission to cross my property to get to the standard. I let him know that I would not. That I would not allow that same access. And he had no issue and understood my reasoning. But he could always still cross the creek as he pleased to access the property legally. Okay, so he's like, hey, I can get there no matter what. It'd be nice if I could cross your land. The guy says, don't cross my land. So he says, cool across on the creek. Fast forward through the last few hunting seasons and they have on multiple occasions shot at wounded deer on opening day of firearm season from that stand. He says, and I don't know if you would know this is true or not, but he says they all ran off their property onto mine in another neighboring property. Each time they have politely notified me and asked me if they could track the deer across my property. State law allows access onto other private property to retrieve game, so I have obliged as I respect their communication and honesty. And because you couldn't not oblige, that was me editorializing. They even said they would not carry weapons, to which I thought, well, what the hell are you going to do if it isn't dead? But kept that to Myself, I'm going to editorialize for a minute. In some states where you're allowed to legally go on to another state to retrieve game, the rule is that you can go onto the other property unarmed to retrieve game, which I had to exercise one time hunting sandhill cranes in Texas. A couple times we had birds sail off on another guy's place, and you had to chase them, but you couldn't chase him with the shotgun, but you were allowed to go directly there, get your bird, come back, no gun.

[E]

I think in this case, it was also just like a gesture of good faith. Right. They're like, you know.

[B]

But I don't know about legality. We could do some quick work because there's only so many Midwest states that have retrieval rights. However, what he's doing, which, God bless him, Connor here, I don't want to turn him off because he's like a listener, but then I don't want to be. This is tough love.

[D]

He's. He's.

[B]

He's trying to make like he's doing a retort. Connor, the guy writing in the listener, the fan, is doing a thing where he's, like, kind of doing little things to make himself seem good. They're allowed to go get it, he says, so I obliged. Yeah, but they're allowed to.

[E]

Right?

[A]

But, man.

[E]

But I think they were telling him, like, out of good faith, he said.

[B]

So I obliged, but it wasn't your call. Then they're like, I won't even bring a gun. Well, how are you gonna get it anyway? Well, then why not say, why don't you bring your gun?

[E]

Just in case.

[B]

Just in case. Since I'm a good neighbor.

[A]

But I wonder about these hunters, like, the direction that they're hunting in and shooting in.

[B]

It's 1.5 to 2 acres. If I was sitting on a piece that was 1.5 to 2 acres, all I'd be thinking about is what's going to happen when I got to go on the neighbor's place.

[D]

I'm looking at his property right now.

[C]

No, you're not. Yeah.

[B]

On X.

[E]

And obviously.

[B]

Can you find the corner? Yeah.

[E]

Oh, we shouldn't be talking about that.

[D]

No, but.

[B]

No, but no one knows his name. They know. They know he's in the Midwest and his name's Connor. Only we know the name.

[E]

Oh, I got.

[D]

Because the name's in the show notes, Right?

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Randall.

[E]

I feel like these people obviously had a much different relationship with the previous owner.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Whether they probably shooting onto his property. And he was. Okay.

[A]

With it.

[B]

Because the old owner was like, oh, yeah, man, cut across my property. Let's all have a good time. Let's be neighborly.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

You know that's the old owner. Right. The whole thing has started to become a bit bothersome to me. To me, he says, this is the guy talking again. Me being a very non confrontational midwesterner, would never put myself in a situation where a deer I shot is pretty much guaranteed to enter another property, forcing me to interact with. With the owner. Even though we have that right as given by the state that I agree with. I don't like that kind of stuff. My property is not large. So when these situations have occurred, it is essentially ended my hunt for the day. How many acres has he got? Randall?

[D]

Let me pull back up here.

[C]

Well, I don't. Do we want to give away that information? Because then it also park it say 40.

[B]

Come on the guy's name. Yeah. Somewhere in a quadrant of America. 40 acres. Okay. Somewhere in a quadrant of America is 40 acres with a creek. I feel like I've been on that place.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I think. I don't know if he purposely kept it out, but I think that.

[D]

And it's a narrow sliver that adds.

[C]

A lot of context to the situation.

[B]

So maybe he should be hunting his own place. Because knowing this, he knows, unfortunately, size.

[C]

Of his and knowing the size of the neighbors. Are we ready to dissect this or do you need to read this?

[B]

No, no, no, no. We're not there yet. We're getting there. My property is lot, not large. Oh, you did that. Oh. Is essentially ended my hunt for the day as they have intruded into the heart of my hunting area and very likely spooked any deer that were in the area. I have considered telling them my feelings about them hunting the very small piece of property, offering to buy it from the landowner, even building a fence around the triangle. And I even hung a tree stand not far from the property line.

[E]

Hey, I'm here too.

[B]

There's gonna wind up being a blood trails episode.

[E]

Creek.

[B]

There's gonna be a blood trails episode coming out of this place in the not so near future. So. So he went and set a tree stand up close to their property line.

[E]

I just don't think he can say.

[B]

They'Re intruding not far from the property line myself as a major game trail passes right through the triangle.

[A]

No, but he meant intruding like when they actually come on to try to retrieve. They are.

[E]

No, they say they're.

[B]

He's.

[E]

It's more like they're intruding on his hunt.

[B]

I'm baking up. Oh, I'm baking up.

[A]

When they physically come onto his property to retrieve, they are intruding. That's. That's.

[B]

No, he's saying, okay, I'll do a quick recap. But because I can understand with all the interruptions. I just want to finish. I want to finish the poor guys letter. I fueled odds of myself and my morals as someone who hunts public land in the west and often groans over the actions some landowners take to protect their property from hunters. Have I become the private land owner? A hole. All right, just to recap. No, it's clear. He's got a little chunk. He's got 40 acres. I'm jealous. Part of it. He's got a little 1.5. His neighbor owns a little 1.52 acre wedge that sits on like what he considers to be his side of the creek week. They keep a stand over there. When they shoot a deer. The deer doesn't have to go far to get off a 1.5 acre parcel. Winds up on his place. They have trespass rights to retrieve their game. They go get their game. It's on opening day of gun season. They're now stirring around on his side of the fence. Everybody's pissed. I got a solution.

[D]

It's 1.1 acre using onx's.

[B]

He oversold it.

[D]

Shape tool. Yep.

[B]

Because he was manipulative in other ways. But he meant he. He. Like he could have manipulated it and rounded down.

[D]

Yeah, he rounded up.

[B]

But he rounded up.

[A]

He doubled one. What that 1.1 gives those guys a lot of free reign. And go cross this. There's probably not a fence. Right.

[B]

I got a solution.

[A]

On his.

[E]

He never insinuated that they're shooting deer on his property either.

[D]

No.

[E]

So they're like hunting.

[B]

I think the old owner. Here's my solution.

[A]

I'd be so frustrated.

[B]

Let's just build intention. I think he makes a pack a pact. Because here's the deal. From his bargaining position, he might be on the receiving end of more people coming on his land and vice versa. But you don't need to come with that. You could come saying, so this guy goes to the neighbor and plays this little mind trick. He goes to the neighbor and says, man, you know, I got 40 acres. It's paradise, dude. But let's be honest. I could easily shoot a deer that could get across the creek and disturb your hunt on opening day. And I mean, it's not out of the question. That would happen to you on my place. What I think we ought to do, just so I can feel better about it, because this has been weighing on me, because inevitably me or one of my buddies is going to send a deer over onto your property. We're going to go chasing after it as we have the right to do. But to think that I would go over there and bump a buck. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. So let's do this in the first few days of firearm season. Let's round up at dark. We'll call each other at dark. If anyone needs to come over and check on the other side, that's when we'll do it so that we're not bumping anybody's hunt. Granted, it might sit for a few hours, but that's not terrible till dusk. What do you say, old neighbor?

[C]

That'd be a great way to handle it.

[E]

It is.

[D]

I think it's the most diplomatic way to handle it.

[E]

A financial hostile takeover would work.

[D]

Now you just.

[E]

Just make him an offer he can't refuse.

[D]

Does it change, does it change your opinion at all that this creek is 75ft across?

[B]

Why did he say it was 30?

[D]

I'm just measuring it with Onyx's tool.

[B]

This guy's bad at measurements.

[E]

75 is a pretty. 75 is like a. That's a river.

[B]

He's a. He's doing, he's waiting. He's not even crossing.

[D]

Yeah, I don't know. The onyx tool says 24.

[A]

That's a lot of effort then for these hunters to get on it depends on the creek.

[C]

If you look at the property, you go, oh yeah, that's where you want. That's where you want to be.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. Because the neighbor's property is like 90% non timbered. So his 10% that is timbered. One acre of that happens to be on the other side of the creek.

[B]

We're narrowing this place down even more. Trust me, no one could find this place. Here's the deal, man. Now I'm rechanging my thing.

[A]

I feel bad now.

[B]

I'm pre changing now I'm getting like a. Like an eagle stern inside me. Baldy. Yeah. It's like this dude. The more I think about it, he didn't make up the rule that you can retrieve game off property. He owns the damn land.

[D]

Right?

[B]

It's like, what's he supposed to do, not hunt his own place?

[D]

So if, if. But here's. Here's where I'd play devil's advocate If a deer never crosses the creek.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Like if, if you shoot a deer and 100 of the time it runs onto his place.

[B]

Yeah. Because he's not going to cross. They'll jump a little creek, not jump. They'll, they'll wade. But they're not going to. When they're wounded, they're not going to want to cross this.

[D]

There's no way that any deer is going to turn and cross this thing.

[B]

Have I heard of this creek before?

[D]

No, but I'm just thinking like. So if you owned one acre along that creek and you just, and every deer you shot ran off your property, is your property too small to hunt?

[B]

I don't believe there is such a thing. The state allows hate the game, not the player.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

The state allows retrieval. What is he supposed to do?

[A]

Yeah, but what about the intent of, of the hunters? If they know that 100% of the time that they cross that creek and stand on that little one acre parcel and hunt deer.

[B]

That I don't believe, I don't believe him on that. And I would invite people here sitting at this table to ask yourself this question. Of all the deer that you have personally shot and seen get shot, all of the whitetail deer that you have shot or seen get shot by a firearm, what percent have left the center of one acre parcels? A minority.

[C]

Minority for sure.

[B]

A minority leave the area.

[A]

What if you're shooting a deer that is almost on the, the, the, the over. Almost across the pod.

[C]

Yeah. He takes one jump and he's on the neighbor's couch.

[D]

If you shoot one dead nuts in the middle of this triangle, it's 28 yards to the property line.

[A]

But again, and if you double lung it, you could still, you could still easy traverse that distance.

[D]

And I'm not, I'm not saying that like his neighbors shouldn't be allowed to do this. I'm just saying like he's right in feeling that they're kind of being.

[B]

No.

[D]

Imposing neighbors.

[B]

You know what I say to my kids a lot? I say tough titty, said the kitty.

[C]

Titty at our house. They even add a little meow sound at the end of it. But here's the deal. It doesn't matter if it's one acre or another 40 acre chunk. We used to own a 40 acre chunk that had three neighbors each and then one. One neighbor was the county road. Right. So it was. You get what I'm painting here? All of the neighbors stands seemed like they were right on the property line.

[B]

Everybody knows grass is always greener. The bucks are on the neighbor's place or they're crossing.

[C]

I don't know what they think.

[B]

No, we call it.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I'm. That's the end of my story. I'm just saying that, like, it doesn't matter if it's an acre or 40. People hunt on those borders where that stuff is going to happen all the time. Where do you run on your neighbors?

[B]

The main border we had to deal with growing up deer hunting. You know, what was we called the other side of that fence? No Man's land. Meanwhile, that guy was like. Like, no, this is the center of the universe. This is my farm. It was like, don't go down to no man's land.

[E]

I also think it's like, are those guys coming onto that one acre? Like, they ain't going there to hunt one acre.

[B]

So now you're saying that the landowner owns the deer?

[E]

No, I'm not saying that, but, like, do you see, like, you're gonna go hunt a spot where you're like. Your intention is, like, only to hunt the deer that come onto that one acre?

[B]

Yes. If God said. If he said, steve, you have one acre. Choose to hunt or not, you can go on your neighbors to get your deer. Okay. I would go. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, imagine if that one acre was, like, sandwiched between Lee and Tiffany's and. And Bill Winkies, you know, to each.

[B]

That's a little narrow instance of land.

[C]

Like. Yeah.

[B]

Connecting those two.

[C]

I know. I know exactly where to hit them so they don't leave my one acre, you know?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, it's also raised the question, how many. How many deer are they shooting per year? Like, if they're just screwing up his opening morning every year, I think you just.

[B]

Yeah, but I already came up with a solution how to fix that. I'm just saying this, dude. I'm saying in America, like, I don't care if you have one tree. Yeah. I don't if it's legal. If you're not in city limits, you can legally discharge a firearm. You have an acre, your state says retrieval is okay. I don't think you're in the wrong if your state said retrieval is not okay without permission, like the one we live in. And then you called and you said, what would be the chances I could retrieve a deer on your place? They say, the minute you touch your foot on my property, I'm calling the sheriff. I'd be like, man, we can't hunt the one acre.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Like, no matter what, I don't Care what kind of gun. We ain't hunting the one acre. Yeah. Because that guy is going to call the sheriff and we can't guarantee that it's going to stay on the one acre.

[C]

I feel like you have to answer his question. Have I become the private land owner?

[B]

I'm afraid so. With all due respect.

[D]

But is his.

[E]

I think that's more of not a private land thing. It's like a neighbor thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Because it's not like private versus public.

[B]

You know what a doctor said to me the other day? They were telling me the other day, oh, my friend. Oh, the same doctor that she's. The CWD incident. She said to me, when a parent.

[C]

Asks, this is my doctor.

[B]

No, no, different D D. She said when a parent asks a question about food for their kids, she stops worrying about any parent that asks a question about healthy choice foods for their kids. She never worries about the kid.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the parent thought to ask a question. She said, it's the ones that would never think to ask. That's just her. A thing she's picked up over the years.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The fact you'd be like, hey, is it okay if my kid. She's like, kid's probably fine. They at least wonder.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I also just think, like, so this guy maybe is not so bad because he's at least wondering to ask.

[D]

He's also not saying that they're doing something horrible. He's just saying, like, this is sort of become annoying to me. Is there a way to fix this?

[B]

The pact?

[C]

Yeah. I don't think he's become a private land asshole whatsoever. It'd be annoying to anybody. So you can do what Steve said. I think that also offering to buy the one acre, I mean, if he can afford it. Definitely.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I mean, if an acre goes for eight and like he's got 15 that he can spend on this and just, yeah, offer him. And it's that important to him. Do it, like, not going to make anybody mad to offer.

[E]

The interesting thing is none of this. I don't even think he'd be having this conversation if that creek wasn't there. If it was just a corner of.

[D]

Yeah, he's got a sweet. He's got a sweet property.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Trump's his chief diplomat, Steve Wytkoff. He's doing well. He could maybe go over there and talk to him. But hey, when you get back from. When you get back from Ukraine, you talk to my neighbors about their one acre. All right, here's one here's a plea for help. I never felt so bad for someone in all my life. Listen to this. There might be more to the story. Dude, you think there's more to the story?

[A]

No, I. I felt real bad.

[C]

Of course there's more to the story.

[B]

Might be more to the story. Hi, Steve. I'm from Alberta, Canada. I've been hunting for three years for deer and have had no success. I'm the first hunter in my family. My friends don't hunt and most of my colleagues don't hunt. Of the hunters I've found and spoken to, they are all unwilling to provide me any genuine guidance. I've received a constant Keep trying. And one day, everyone gatekeeps their hunting locations, tactics, ideas, how to contact landowners, how to determine if the land is good, the etiquette of approaching the land owner, and anything else you can think of. I would say with the notable exception of this show, which has provided endless guidance on all of those issues. I think he means local people in Alberta. I don't even know what direction people go to hunt. I actually believe some people tell me west to the mountains, but I see images them hunting to the north, east or south.

[E]

He's starting to figure it out here.

[B]

So I tell my kids, you're hunting where none. Your creek flows into business river.

[D]

See a photo of a guy with a deer and a big wheat field, and he's like, oh, killed him up in the Bridgers.

[B]

Yeah. So people are like, hey, man, go up in the mountains. But in their pictures, they're to the north. They're like, hey, go west in the mountains. He sees their pictures in there. They're out on the planes. They're out on the prairies to points north, south, and east.

[D]

I'd stop asking those people any questions.

[B]

He goes on to say, I've consistently gone almost every weekend for three seasons, and the only animal. So this guy has gotten three years in, he has gotten a grouse. Oh, six. It's become extremely expensive and painful to drive two hours solo to see absolutely nothing because I've been sent on a goose chase.

[E]

That part's a little like. It seems like he's getting vindictive.

[B]

Yeah. No. Spent three years. Yeah. I mean, how long is he supposed to stay in a good mood about it? I don't know. I've done as much googling as I can, but even Google can't mentor me. Thanks.

[E]

Please help. You forgot.

[B]

So here's the ask, and I can't. This is no guarantee on my part. If this winds up being A Blood Trails episode. It's not my fault. If someone wants to write in and puts the subject line, what do they write into contact at something or another.

[A]

The Mediator podcast at the Mediator, whatever.

[B]

Yeah. Type in. Can you find the address to write Roman a note?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Put down Canadian guy, Alberta guy, head west guy, Krause guy, skunk guy, something like that in the subject line. If you're from Alberta, you want to take this guy out and under your wing, send us a note.

[C]

Yeah. Or if you're like a cool rancher and you're like, I got plenty of.

[B]

Deer on my place, dude, that would be the best. If there's a rancher who, like, generally doesn't want anybody hunting, but wants to let this guy on just so he can stick it to the other guys. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

There are a couple of emails, but just go for meat eater themeater.com.

[B]

You don't like the whole sticking it to him thing? Just like, you want to keep it positive.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's trying to keep it positive. He's not sticking it to him or anything.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. That would be very nice of anybody in Alberta, you know, that could. That could help out this fellow.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I just wonder a couple things.

[B]

Okay, but Alberta's awful big. Like, what if he's in town? Right? He's got to be in Edmonton or something. Right? Because he doesn't say, though.

[C]

No, he doesn't.

[B]

But look, but he's like going, if you're in Edmonton. Does that make sense? Randall, if you're in Edmonton, you go west. I mean, all that.

[D]

There's Calgary.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

It could be Calgary. I just want to say this, that if you take out his interactions with these other hunters that aren't helping him, he leaves his age. I think that's what that's for. That number 24, he's a young fella. He's only been out hunting three.

[B]

I read that to mean that. Oh, you're right. It's not 20. 24. He's 24 years old.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So are you gonna analyze this?

[C]

I am.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[C]

He's only 24. He's only been at it three years. Corinne, you're a pretty new hunter. You've been at it longer than three years at this point.

[A]

I think this is. Is only my fifth season.

[C]

Fifth season. Do you think. Is it really out of the question? She hasn't killed a mountain of stuff. I think she's always telling me about struggling. Like it's. It took a while to get into it.

[B]

It's probably how many deer you got.

[D]

She also works here. She doesn't have our friends problems.

[B]

She's got six deer, a coyote. What else?

[A]

An elk.

[B]

The elk.

[E]

And a shitload of mentors, which this guy does.

[B]

She's got a whole mountain stuff, but.

[C]

I think she can, she could see more than us because for us it's so far in our past. She could see that it's not unfathomable that you could hunt for three seasons and not kill something.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[C]

That's just, that's my point. So I think to this fellow, I'm just saying, like, dude, this is not easy. We have mentored people.

[B]

But I just feel bad for him though, still. You should, because I feel like people are being mean to him maybe.

[C]

Yeah. Well, again, there's always more to the story. We, I, we've mentored people on through meat eater that were very capable adults. We showed them how to hunt, we hunted with them. We were successful. They did not continue down the hunting path because it was too much of.

[B]

A pain in the ass. Yes.

[D]

I also wonder, like, his friends don't hunt, his colleagues don't hunt. So then he says of the hunters I've found and spoken to, like, who are you asking? Are you just asking strangers? Like, I think you need to build relationships.

[B]

Like, he's at Monkey Lils and there's a guy standing there in some camo. Yeah, he's at the coffee shop.

[D]

Like, you see a deer in the back of someone's truck, you know, hey.

[B]

Where'D you get that? The guy's like, duh, to the west.

[D]

Like, like his. He doesn't have family, friends or colleagues to rely on.

[B]

So like, who is he talking to?

[D]

Yeah, like, go volunteer at some conservation.

[E]

Call a biologist for fishing.

[B]

It could be that he's creeping people out. Yeah, could be creeping people out.

[D]

Yeah, like you're not gonna get these suggestions if you don't have the sort of built up social capital with these people.

[B]

Yeah. Like if he wrote a longer email with more detail and in it he was like, so what I do is, you see, people are usually home in the middle of the night. So if I know someone hunts, I'll find their home and knock on the door in the middle of the night to catch them home.

[D]

Or I'll look in their windows to see if they have trophies hanging up.

[B]

And once I determine they're a hunter. No, I, But I do think I'll introduce myself.

[D]

You have to build the relationships before you're Going to get any sort of help, you know.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

If a dude came up to me, yeah, if a dude came up to me and I didn't know who he was and he was like, hey, where'd you get that goose with missing half his bill? Yeah, I'd probably go west to here.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Long ways west.

[C]

I think we've given him plenty of advice.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not ashamed to tell you I'm a big dude wipes fan. I keep dude wipes in my backpack. I keep dude wipes at our fish shack. I keep dude whites in my truck, garage, wherever the hell. I just keep them around. And also, you know, one of the reasons I got kids, man, when you got kids, you learn that you keep them around because little butts make big messes. When nature calls for your kid, answer with the pristine clean of little dude Wipes. They're gentle enough for little cheeks and strong enough for toddler streaks. So they can be the first generation that never has to suffer the agony of dry toilet paper. The next time your kid goes number two number, show them their number one with little dude wipes. Little dude wipes are wet extra large flushable wipes. Alcohol and chemical free. They're the same size as extra large dude wipes. Perfect for the big messes the little kids make. Kids are known to get a little stinky. Wipe away the funk with little dude wipes bubble gum. The bubble gum scented flushable wipe free little stinker. Also available in fragrance free. Little dude wipes are made with 100 plant based natural fibers so you can keep the planet healthy for your little dude. Available exclusively at Walmart nationwide. And remember, check out the bubble gum. You'll get a kick out of it. Hey everybody, I'm talking here about Montana knife company. From our very own state of Montana, this company was founded by one of the most experienced master blade Smiths in the world, Josh Smith, who over recent months I become friends with and my God, have I learned a lot about knives from this guy. Just a phenomenal hometown company that makes world renowned knives. Josh has been making knives for 30 years. You get one of these knives up and open it, it is sharp like something that came from outer space. And here's the deal. They make knives that can be sharpened. You can work on these knives. If you don't want to work on them, you send it to them and they'll work on it. They'll get it sharp. Phenomenal hunting knives. If you want to see them in action, we just did me and John Hayes, the taxidermist, just did a video about how to properly skin a black bear. Watch that video. And in that video, you'll see Montana knife company Knives in action. MKC products usually sell out in minutes of being released, which is true. But now for the first time, they're dabbling with having knives in stock on their site. So right now, you can grab yourself a Blackfoot 2.0 or the ultralight Speedgoat. Use Code Meat Eater and you get 10% off your first order. Montana Knife Company working knives for working people. 10% off with the Code Meat Eater. That's a good deal. Breaking news, everybody. Not everything is terrible. I repeat, not everything is terrible. The Ripple Effect with Jenna Kim Jones is proof that the Internet, it hasn't ruined humanity entirely. Let me start by saying it's a great day to be a gray shirt team Rubicon.

[C]

You know, it truly is a team.

[B]

Those folks, myself included, all had one desire, which is helping folks in disaster.

[C]

Trying to be a little bit of.

[B]

Hope in a really, really bad situation. It's like magic, you guys. So put down your doom scroller and pick up your faith in humanity and join me, Jenna, for the ripple effect. It's a reminder that you can start a ripple that changes everything.

[A]

You really can.

[B]

We give just that nugget of hope helping other people. For some of our gray shirts, it's during a time when they need help and by helping others, it helps them. Listen to the ripple effect with Jenna Kim Jones on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. One of my favorite things on the planet. Now, I'm not recommending this because people are gonna read it and they're gonna get all hot under the hood. But there' very funny writer named Nelly Bowles, and she writes for Free Press. One of my favorite things to do when I wake up on Friday morning is to read Nelly Bowles's week in review. Well, it's called tgif in tgif, it's a. Com. It's a humor column. It comes out Friday. By the time I wake up, it's already out. I get up early and I lay there and I read in my bed and I laugh and I chuckle to myself. And it's a. It's. She starts out, she hacks the right to pieces, and then she hacks the left to pieces. She's a. She's a comedy writer. She's a humor writer. She does a funny take on the news. It's satire, but she's very Good about ridiculing everyone in a way that it's just funny. She had a blip and I was kind of unaware of this. She had a blip about the Sierra Club like that. There's been a bit of an implosion at Sierra Club. Are you aware of this?

[D]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

Some revelations that have cost the Sierra Club a lot of brand equity in this thing. What I'm going to get to is this really funny Equity Language Guide, which I thought was hilarious, that she talks about in there, but I didn't know this. The Sierra Club got to the point where they had two people on fighting the Trump administration on Anwar and 108 people on DEI initiatives. And it was talking about that. That imbalance of core mission to internal politics that have been problematic for Sierra Club. But they came out with this guide. Now I went and found the guide and was thumbing through it and it gives all these things you shouldn't say and what to say instead. Like don't say pull the trigger. You should instead say go for it. Don't use locked and loaded. Instead try ready to go. Don't say bulletproof. Say guaranteed to succeed. Smoking gun should be incontrovertible evidence or the damning facts of the case. Don't use chokehold.

[C]

That's twice. That's twice this episode that you've pronounced damn that way. Are you doing that in jest?

[B]

Damning.

[C]

That's how you correctly pronounce that word, damning.

[B]

Well, hot damn is D A M.

[C]

N. I know, but you don't hear the N when you say hot damn.

[B]

How do you say damning?

[A]

Damning.

[C]

Just like that.

[B]

Damning. No, No. N. Oh, you don't think so, is it?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that true?

[A]

That's what I thought. Randall.

[D]

I thought you were messing with damning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Damning.

[D]

Damning evidence.

[B]

Damn you. Damn. Damn. Listen, dude, I never say that in. But in this context with the ing. I don't say damning. Damning. Yeah. Is it a truly a silent end? You guys are right.

[E]

I'm looking.

[B]

Anyways. I just think it's funny.

[E]

Yeah, it's. It's him.

[B]

Oh. Because remember how they said someone said that D day was a day that will live in infamy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't use that because that makes people feel like it's military. Ish.

[D]

Pearl Harbor.

[B]

Yeah. Instead you say history has its eyes on you.

[A]

Wow. This list is.

[B]

Okay, one last news bit, maybe two. This is the. This is actual news. This is. This. This is one of those. This is one of those news stories that makes its own gravy. And this, this is. Brody should be an expert on this because he's from Colorado. In fact, Brody's one of many people that sent this to me. It's a policy thing. Starting on January 1, 2026. So coming right up here in the state of Colorado, there will be a bifurcation of how bison are legally treated. Now get this. This is a unanimous decision from what, the commission?

[E]

Yeah, the commission and, and the Department of Ags involved too. They have to be.

[B]

So I might, I might start out by saying how it is in other places. Let me give you how it is here in the state of Montana. And I talk with this all damn time. In the state of Montana, bison, buffalo are the only native animal that is not legally regarded as a wild animal. They are legally classified as livestock. Okay? Colorado has plenty of ranches. Bison ranches, privately owned and fenced bison herds starting on the first of the year. I'll get into what this all means in a minute. But starting on the first of the year, there will be privately owned and fenced bison herds. Okay. They will continue to be listed as livestock. But starting on that day forward, if a free ranging bison enters the state of Colorado from a neighboring state or.

[E]

If they establish themselves eventually.

[B]

Oh, well, but if they don't walk in.

[E]

Well, I'm saying like walk in and stay or there's a reintroduction or whatever.

[B]

Well, sure. Okay. Is that true?

[E]

Yeah, I think. Go ahead and finish. But I'll say why I think it's true.

[B]

Well, my understanding is the wording is free ranging bison that naturally enter the state from neighboring areas.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

So not reintroduction yet.

[B]

Become de facto. Become de facto wildlife when they enter the state. I want to talk more about where that's not true because this is all hypothetical in Colorado because it hasn't happened yet. But it's very interesting because it could. And I'll get to that in a minute. It. It could happen. And this is why that's cool that they did that in Montana. So when, when a, when a buffalo leaves Yellowstone national park and, and crosses the invis to. To them invisible border and enters the state, we go, whoop. You just stop being wildlife there, buddy. And they can shoot you, round you up, load you up, send you to slaughter, whatever the hell they want, they don't have to honor it as wildlife life. But like I always point this out to people. If a grizzly bear, a wolf, a wolverine, a bighorn sheep, a mountain goat, elk A mule deer, a white tailed deer, a black bear. I could go on all day. Any of those things crosses that boundary and walks into Montana. That some is wildlife. If he's a buffalo, he's not. He's livestock. Which means they, they're preventing them from ever getting onto public land as wildlife. Because they don't. They don't. They don't. They can't legally be wildlife.

[C]

And private land as wildlife.

[B]

Yeah. And private land.

[E]

And there's management levers that they want to be able to pull.

[B]

Yeah. They used to shoot them. They used to just flat out like they used to flat out. Department of livestock would sit there and flat out shoot them. And then public pressure led them to be that. Now they have hunts for the tribes. They have public draw hunts, but still they are not allowed to just come and hang.

[D]

Yeah. There's a line in the sand where like if they get past all the hunters.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

They get killed by whatever Department of livestock.

[B]

So Colorado. Say what you want about them down in Colorado for, for bringing wolves in and not letting them walk in. If I was Colorado, if I was the emperor of Colorado, I would have not done the. I would have not done the reintroduction. And out of. Waited till they walked in on their own four feet, which was happening anyways.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

So anyways out of weighted on this. I don't know. No one's talking about a reintroduction effort. Maybe they will. But the groundwork is set now. And where the. Why they're getting at. This is over in Utah. There's a Book Cliffs herd. Utah has that like the Henry Mountains. Utah has a couple free ranging wild herds of buffalo. And these book cliff ones are a genetic. I had to even get into that they're genetically pure. Which that whole conversation to my mind is a lot of BS meaning people that don't like the animals will delegitimize certain herds of them by saying that they're like not genetically pure.

[E]

They have cattle.

[B]

Some, some remnant.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, like some. If you, if you take a blood sample from. For instance, if you go to the north rim of the Grand Canyon in Ariz. On Grand Canyon national park where there's buffalo that run wild and the park service down there doesn't like them, generally speaking. They tolerate them kind of. They would say, oh, the problem is they're not genetically pure. But if you took 100Americans and said. And showed them one of those animals and said, hey, what is that? Listen, 100 would go, that's a bison. They just are. But deep in their history is like a little bit of cattle introgression. And so people use that cattle introgression BS to like delegitimize certain populations.

[E]

They're not really bison.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's not really a bison, so it's like, let's get rid of them. So with this situation, the books cliffs.

[E]

Ones occasionally do walk across.

[A]

Across.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Come into Colorado.

[B]

So they're setting the groundwork that as those book cliffs ones drift into Colorado, it's up to fishing. It's up to Colorado fishing parks to determine what happens to it. Parks and wildlife. Parks and wildlife can go. No, cool. They're cool. They're cool. Don't mess with them. It's wildlife. If you want to hunt them, you're gonna have to draw a tag.

[E]

Right.

[B]

You can't just shoot them as errant livestock.

[E]

And it would allow them to manage cpw to manage them if they did. Like a herd establish itself eventually.

[B]

Yeah. It is very much a step in the right direction.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

In my mind. And just to show you, not even biases, I'm like open about this all the time. I am of the opinion, like categorically of the opinion that we could be. We could have a lot more buffalo, bison, I don't care what you want to call them. We could have a lot more buffalo on the landscape for people to see, for people to hunt. It's like, it's just time to get this going. And this is a step in the right direction. I would love to see this. This I would love to see in my own state. I would love to see a Montana. The same attitude. If it walks in, if it's a wild animal and it walks in on its own four feet, it's a wild animal. Cut the tape, Phil. We're not moving on to another one.

[E]

We got enough, man.

[B]

I want to get into this Michigan thing, But it's like a long time thing to talk about.

[E]

Let's do it on the.

[A]

We can hunt it.

[D]

We gotta, we gotta bite him at the bottom, though.

[C]

Yep. Sweepstakes, which I didn't know about. I might even apply for this. Buy five tickets.

[B]

Oh, you know what I wanted to talk about.

[C]

He's sweet. Go over Steve's, but cook me dinner.

[B]

I'll do it at the office.

[C]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

We should have put this up front.

[A]

I, I, yes, we, yes.

[B]

You know what, Phil? Let's put it up front.

[C]

If you win, you're not allowed to go to Steve's house and say that.

[B]

To him from now until December. 29th. We're running a sweepstakes. This should have really been up top.

[C]

You know what?

[B]

I'm gonna. You're gonna say this thing.

[C]

I'm going to copy and paste it right up front.

[B]

Oh. And then reason why it was. And then if you're sitting here listening at home, people will get to the.

[C]

End and hear you say, hey, Phil.

[B]

And you've already heard me say this. Duh, I already said it. We're running the sweepstakes from now until December 29th. This is a hell of a sweepstakes deal. What you get, you get a trip to Bozeman. So we cover round trip airfare for. For you and three friends or family members. So a total of four people. We cover your airfare, your lodging and your car. You stay two nights in town. I cook dinner. We'll do it here at our. At our. At our headquarters kitchen. And I'll get some of the guys to help out some of the. I'll just put out all company for helpers. We will cook you a many course meal. I will serve it to you personally. We will give you a one thousand dollar gift card to our retail store on Main Street. You know, I'm gonna throw this out there and we'll arrange for you to go down there privately. If you'd like, you can go down there after hours with Alec.

[E]

Do they get to pick when they come out?

[C]

He's gonna love that.

[E]

Or do you have like, you know what I mean?

[B]

Alex Zimmer? What's that?

[C]

Do they get to shopping or is.

[E]

It a specific time?

[B]

No, no, we'll pick a time that works for them. We'll pick a mutually agreeable time. You and three of your friends, three family members, whatever. We pay your airfare, you come out. You gotta come from America. You do. Canadians cannot do this. Listen, raffle and sweepstakes law.

[D]

Oh, I know.

[B]

Byzantine. Dude. Thorny, you got to be in America. Jump. Montana. The new driver's license deal cracks me up. If, like, if you get a new driver's license, if you're like American, you get an eagle on your driver's license.

[C]

Oh, so now the new driver's license will qualify for the. For the proper ID for flying.

[A]

What do you mean? A naturalized citizen, I believe American.

[B]

I believe they just passed the state law that if you're like a citizen, you get an eagle too.

[D]

Oh, I see.

[B]

Yeah, no, we already have real id. They just kept postponing it because of the pandemic. I've been real ID for a while. Anyhow. Now I'm getting my new one with an American eagle on it, which I'm gonna keep out of my wallet just.

[C]

To show people proudly display.

[B]

Yeah, I come from America, okay? I'm getting to the rules. Why did someone scratch the rules out?

[A]

Fine, go for the rules. I scratched them because I thought it'd be, like, a little too.

[C]

Those aren't the rules.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, you know those aren't the rules. You already went over all that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're good.

[D]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

Oh. How do you know?

[C]

How do you enter? Steve, How.

[D]

How is one eligible for such a giveaway?

[B]

Did I say round trip? Yeah. Airfare.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We got lodging, rental car. Dinner cooked here by me. Thousand dollar gift card.

[D]

1K.

[B]

Alex Zimmer. I'm volunteering him. Will. Will give you private access to the store. The worst actor in the company.

[E]

That means you know he'll be telling.

[B]

You the truth, but one of the.

[D]

Finest dog sitters this company has.

[B]

Probably the. I haven't told him this. Probably the worst actor we've ever hired.

[E]

He won't try and sell you something you don't need.

[B]

No, that's the thing. You can trust this guy. Because me and Randall tried to get him to act.

[D]

Yeah, he's straight as an arrow.

[B]

Doesn't have any. There's no concern that he's BSing. Yeah. If he tells you something, it's the truth. You should try to give him a couple pointers. Phil, I tried to give him some tips. I'll try.

[C]

You know, for how often you talk.

[B]

To me about me doing plays.

[C]

I've never once been asked to act.

[B]

In any sort of skit or any sort of commercial we've done at this company.

[C]

Are you kidding me? I've seen your face.

[B]

You've done acting.

[E]

I have not.

[B]

I did the Christmas video.

[A]

That was different four years ago.

[E]

Shocking.

[C]

Phil.

[D]

Phil, I've cast you in two plays on radio Live.

[B]

I've given you two roles.

[C]

I greatly appreciate that randomness.

[A]

The Instagram, social media, skits.

[C]

Phil, I'm working on skits. Bumped me from roast three times now.

[B]

Yeah, we're filming one tomorrow. We didn't cast. Fill in it.

[C]

We might be filming two tomorrow. I'll get. Make sure Phil's in on the second one.

[B]

We. I. I got cast. Randall's cast. And Brianna got cast. She's Mrs. Claus, so.

[C]

Hold it.

[B]

I got. So someone's thinking, well, they're not just going to call me up and give it to me. And you're right. You got to go online. This is grossly oversimplified. Unless they simplify.

[A]

That's what I got.

[B]

Listen, go to first light. Do. I'm not going to tell you the rules because I think there's a way to enter. Like, there's a way to enter free.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there's a way to boost your entries. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But we have to tell them how to enter.

[B]

Go to firstlight.com and see. You'll see. Something about sweepstakes. Okay. I believe. I believe there's a way to enter free, which you have to do in sweepstakes law. And then for every hundred bucks you spend at first light, you get five entries. So does a rub. Does a rubber. You can like everything in life. The affluent will be favored. I can't help. I can't help it. They tend to spend more money. I don't know. I'm not making it up. Don't you agree?

[C]

Yep. Ending on a hard truth today. Well, folks, I'm sorry you had to hear that twice.

[B]

I guess maybe you clean it up, make it sound more optimistic on the first one. Yeah, sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, 100 bucks gets you five entries. That's pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. Anybody can afford that. 20 bucks.

[D]

20 bucks a ticket. Plus, you're spending that money on something you wanted to buy anyway.

[E]

Yeah, Randall.

[B]

And if a rich guy wanted to come to Bozeman, he'd just fly himself out here.

[E]

Randall blows 10 times that every year at the Sportsman's Expo. Looking for tags.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. This might be one of the higher odds entries you'll get in this tag season. Strong season.

[C]

We have lots of quarter zips for probably right at 100 bucks. A little bit under 100 bucks, maybe a little bit over a hundred bucks. Quarter zips are the thing this holiday season.

[B]

I keep hearing about that for men.

[C]

So if you're looking for quarter zips, go to first light.

[B]

My kids have told me the opposite. They've hit peak quarter zip. They told me because people. They think it's people trying to look. They think it's people trying to look studious. That's their take on it. I can see that they're thinking of, like a sweater. Yeah, Like a formal sweater. Yeah. Not like a. Not like merino base layer quarter zip.

[C]

No, but I could. I could see a kiln quarter zip. Being dressed down for a drink at the bar or being dressed up for a job interview.

[B]

Sure. Okay. So that's what you got to do.

[C]

Put a little collar underneath that thing.

[B]

Look, big old dinner. Big old dinner shop and spree. With Alex the Alec, the actor. That's what we call him. Yeah. First light dot com. Check it out. While you're there, pick up effed up old trucks calendar. We're getting out of the calendar business. This is your last chance ever to get a calendar. I swear I will never make another calendar.

[C]

Will you let me one if I let me know with a good idea.

[B]

I'm walking away from calendars. Why? It's too fickle of a business. Who'd have thought that print calendars would fade out? We tried to buck.

[E]

We tried that way while we could.

[B]

Inevitably, people, like it or not, are moving away from print.

[D]

The only takeaway I got from last year's calendar was that we didn't make enough of them. Because at the hunt Expo I probably had.

[E]

It's fickle, man.

[D]

I probably had fickle two dozen people coming to me the hunt Expo, wondering if we had extra calendars there. And I took.

[B]

I took them off the walls of.

[D]

People around the office and sent them to these people.

[B]

Cuz I think effed up old shitters was like the pin as good as you could do. Yeah, as good as you could do.

[A]

Those are good.

[D]

It's like Rocky 4.

[B]

It was like Clay's mom. Clay's mom would have two reasons to wash his mouth out. Was so if he said the name of that calendar.

[D]

We just need to get more provided.

[B]

Now that we're on the old trucks. I wanted to do old fishermen. Effed up old fishermen. I'm done. I'm out of the business.

[E]

I was looking forward to. I'd be in that calendar.

[B]

Out of the business. You mark my words. If you want a calendar. And this is not a sales ploy, but I'll point out if you were to want one of our calendars, now or never, sucker. Yeah, but I'm not saying it because of salesmanship. Done, done, done, done. Don't do business. It's a fickle business. People are moving away. Me and Brody's Wagon wheel went. Business went tits up too.

[E]

Yep. Land speculation business. That didn't work out.

[B]

Check. We had a little check business printing checks. Our mailbox business is slowing down.

[D]

Oil lamps.

[B]

We're sitting on gallons of whale oil.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And now the print calendar thing's slowing down. But we're pretty optimistic about our vhs. We're investing heavily in VHS technology.

[D]

Coal, furnaces, dvd.

[B]

Oh, you know, it's the. The farmer that had the field that had the. The goose missing its bill. I noticed he heats a coal. Big old bucket of coal.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. He had a big metal tub next to his stove full of coal. I feel like he must have his own coal scene. I wouldn't be surprised. He's got his own coal seam, huh? Yeah. It was cool to see.

[C]

Yeah, I wouldn't know where, you.

[B]

Know, that guy was. Yeah, we drove off, I'm like, you know, that guy was heating with. And they're so young. They saw it, but they didn't know what they were looking at. I said, that big tub, like with the rocks. I was like, that's. That dude's cold, man. Dude's heating with cold. Yeah, it's cool, huh? Right. Right in the living room. Big buckle.

[E]

I always wondered if that would work in one of those titanium seek stoves.

[B]

Camp stove.

[E]

Yeah, a couple of those in there.

[C]

Why not?

[B]

All right, Phil, you can probably turn it off anytime now, man. Did you cut the tape?

[C]

I cut it when you asked me. Yeah, sorry about that.

[B]

So this is all just bonus banter.

[D]

For our own amusement.

[C]

This is Eva Longoria from Hungry for.

[B]

History with Eva Longoria and Maite Gomez rejoning.

[C]

Like the song says, it's the most.

[B]

Wonderful time of the year and also a wonderfully busy one.

[C]

All that merriment can weigh down even Santa's sleigh. So keep it wonderful by keeping yourself wonderful with a crisp, cold Coca Cola.

[B]

Ah, pause for fizzy joy. Look out for yourself and then look out for everyone else. And together we'll make this season as wonderful as it's meant to be.

[C]

Enjoy a Coca Cola refresh your holidays.

[B]

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